Grace O'Malley
Appearances
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
All right. So I'm moving to Nevada. You might have to go to Nevada to get it.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Oh, yeah, yeah. That's like the prize. Yeah, the Mecca.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Clinical. Okay. So it's routine. It's like an appointment.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
I thought you were looking for just like a wet willy. No.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
You're going to give her a pep talk the next time you go in. Like, hey, Annabelle magic.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
So much better than this. You could be so much more. Oh, wow. That sure is something.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
So that's like exactly that. How could you get – Right. How could you get off? That feels like jail.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
I can't believe neither one of those are me. And then this one's just literally your headshot, not a mugshot.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Oh, you're a tiny baby boy in that blue shirt one.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
I've got three younger sisters. But I'm the milkman's because I'm a redhead.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
No, I'm dying to, though, because I would like a mugshot.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yeah, it would be good. I think I'd run that thing, like a McDonald's.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yeah, and, like, they come to me, and they got to ask, like, oh, do you want red dye number two? You want some lipstick? Because that's what the girls do in there. They go crazy.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
You want me to thread your eyebrows with some... I don't know what they'd use, but I'll find out. And I'll be the head of the market.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
I do not have a boyfriend. You might have said that too.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
I know. And it's like everyone always does that. And it's like, oh, rats. Like, damn. Every single time I'm like, oh, I should just let that person have that reaction because it is crazy. It is crazy, but I have to address it.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yeah. When I find that Mr. Special guy, it's going to be real good because I've waited this long, I suppose.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
No, no. They don't really flock. You'd be totally shocked that I'm not – I don't really scream fuck me. Like I don't really have fuck me eyes ever. So I think I'm more of like a bro to some people. Like my way of flirting is like misogynistic.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yeah, just being like, yo, dude, like check out her tits or you can check out mine if you prefer. Yeah. Kind of thing. Yeah.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yeah. So I haven't had luck thus far, hence the male hooker.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Um, he is now, I had to ask him, he was a year older and he is now she, and we don't, I haven't, I haven't.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
I'm having a hard time picking up the pieces because we don't talk. You know, those people, you just have to be like, fix the clues in and see what they're all about. Like the little, the little clues that they put out there. Oh yeah. Um, and then I didn't go to my senior prom.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
No, I was one of those. I'm still waiting to get picked up for my senior prom in my head.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Damn, it's not that bad. Take it off. Just wear the t-shirt.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yeah, like I'm like too far in now. So it's like, I don't really, I'm not looking. I don't really give a shit at this point. It's just, it is what it is. If it comes, it comes. But I would love to come one day.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
No, I'm not there. Well, I would be if I could be. If I had it coming towards me like that, oh, my God, I'd be a whore. But I'm basically accidentally celibate, which is a beautiful thing, really. You know, some women, they say, oh, it's so easy for a woman to get laid. They can have whoever they want. No, it's not true. There are some of us that have a really hard time living.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
No, it's great to hear. Actually, that just gave me a little bit of a boost. Dude, yeah.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
That would be amazing. I was thinking about it the other night. I'm like, you know what? I'm so anti having a kid, but I guess if I had one, I would have to have it because that would be my only shot.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Having a child. Because if this one guy wants to bust it in, then I guess I got to put one out. It's like, it seems like a sad thing to people, but this is just my life.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Oh my God, I can't wait to guzzle it down my man. It's going That'd be good. But, like, it's funny to not be a whore but, like, really want to be. Yeah. There's something special about that.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Because most whores, they don't want to be. They want to be known for something other than their hole or their box.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yeah, I guess. I guess. But, you know. Most wide open. I'll wait for my special day.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
I think when you start having the talk is when they develop more of a daddy problem. It's like there's nothing you can do as a father, I feel like. It's just like their decision to be what they want to do, I suppose. I don't know. I've never been a whore yet. So we'll see. If you had a daughter, what would her name be?
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
literally be roger and turn into danny yeah it's my name is it's roger but they call me danny yeah but this kid he had so like when he's filling out medical forms he has to write danger but everybody knows him as dan or danny oh yeah i think it's good that's a cool name yeah danger and he could get a cool job he could be i'm trying to think of what he could be anything he could be uh the caution sign when you mop the floor yeah
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Could be a traffic guard. I feel like I'm blowing this. Am I blowing this?
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
I think I'm too honest sometimes where I just have to be like, I feel like I'm fucking this up.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
I have no personal experience. I'm like writing a book report on a book I've never read.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Oh, I never come empty-handed to anything, but I've been in limbo all day, so this is the best I can do. I heard you're on again, off again, quitting.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
I heard sometimes you quit and sometimes you're not. Yeah. But mostly you try to quit, so I feel like an ass, but I don't want to come empty-handed. No, it's nice of you.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
everything was miserable kind of yeah i feel that i had an ear blow out i can't hear out of this one really yeah like at all what were you you guys out on the water i was on an airplane and uh like three weeks ago it just just blew and uh this is just a nightmare i've never had it i can't hear yeah it's pretty brutal but um other than that pretty classic of a holiday good stuff you spent time with your family i did yeah nice are your parents still married
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
They shouldn't be. They can't afford the divorce. They looked into it. And so I'm just working really hard this year so they can get there.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yeah, we were friends forever. Okay. Since we were like in fifth grade.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
yeah um i was just i've always just um like in 2020 she got the job at barstool and like had to move to new york for it and i was taking a semester off from college and she was like do you want to come with me and i was like yeah fuck it why not and so like i door dashed on foot when we got there and stuff and like she slowly but surely like was trying to get me a job at barstool oh really so really hustling for you yeah so like she like really like like
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
stuck her neck out for me and like we ended up doing the podcast together after like a year of living there and it was just so much fun we had a blast it was always fun doing it yeah a lot of y'all's clips are so great dude we were just shoot the shit good banter but um you know uh we're just I think we're just going through a rough patch right now and uh we'll
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
I think one day we're going to figure it out. Yeah. She's doing her thing. I'm doing my thing. And I still love her. So I'm being a politician right now.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
I'm so fucking fired up. When you get done with the conversation, you're like, ah, dude, you know who would really help me out with this? Exactly who I'm talking about. It's fucking brutal. It's tough.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yeah. They have an idea. They're like, oh, I'm going to lock it in. I'm going to get that.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Hey, buddy, it's time to get that ring and put the knee down.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yeah. I do think everyone should get out of their town at some point. Oh, yeah. Because like you don't know what you're missing if you don't.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Like I thought everybody was Catholic growing up. I never knew any Jewish people. I never knew anyone who was different. And I didn't find out until my junior year of high school that there's other religions.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yeah. It's a commitment that I just don't have the willpower to do.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
And that's where I thought I could get some, but— Oh, really? They only like the boys.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
I guess I could have shaved my head, but they see right through that with the tits, you know?
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
You shall not be blessed. I don't know what they say.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
I was supposed to try January yesterday, and I just didn't.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yes, yeah. So I've been there for like four years.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Well, now with stand-up, I'm like, oh, finally, I love New York. I needed my thing, and I finally found my thing. And so I've been loving that. And I was just too scared to do it. I was just being such a pussy.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
I wanted to stop this going on, so we're going to try again today.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
I try to be, like, just myself and, like, open and honest. But my problem is I do this accent and it comes out only sometimes.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
So I've got, like, this Boston accent, but sometimes it's on, sometimes it's off. So people are like, you're doing a fake accent. I don't even know I'm doing it.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yeah. Cause you can't, you can't fake a laugh, right?
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yeah, but for what, though? Like, we're just new all of a sudden? We're just going to flip it off?
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yeah. I know a genuine laugh and I know a fake laugh. Yeah. And if you're just going to fucking hate me and be a dick, then you're not going to laugh in general. And then I could wean you out.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
I've always wanted to do stand-up. I just didn't think I could. I didn't think it was an option. And there's a part of me that wishes that, and this is, I guess, serious, but there's a part of me that wishes I was able to get into stand-up before anything else because I just want to be... I don't want people to think I'm just like doing it for shits and gigs to have like this other thing.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
It's like that's what my main focus is and that's what like I love. It just so happened that one came before the other kind of thing. And like I wish I like... I don't know, got more of the reps in before people started coming.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Which I appreciate people coming and seeing me, but I really wanted to get it right. I didn't even want you to stay the other night. Over the set? One day you could see it. Not yet. It's not there yet. It's good enough to buy tickets, but it's not there yet for you. No, no shot.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
And I've done the podcast touring. That shit is so easy.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
It's so easy. You have segments. You do the same thing every night. You can switch around with jokes depending on the crowd, but compared to stand-up, it's a walk at the park. It feels like stealing. You're stealing money from fans that adore you. It's not fair. But I never made any money off of it.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
And that was, that was kind of it. And so I had the option to leave and I took it.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
No, nothing close to that, no. My buddy was making a little bit more, a lot of it more, a whole shit ton more.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Thanks for having me. I'm super pumped. I tried to play it really cool the other day, but I am a very big fan.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Like, I was, like, literally, I was stoked to just have the job.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
So I was, at one point I was working for free selling T-shirts, just paying for my own clothes. Yeah, it was crazy. I was like, yo, I'm just, like, really happy to be here.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
That's the new thing I'm learning is because I haven't taken time off this whole year. And with Christmas, I took like two weeks off and I fucked myself big time. I was like, Jesus Christ, this is bad. This is bad news biz. Those shows, I don't know, they were fine, but they weren't great. I'll tell you that.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
I'm kind of all over the place. I'm trying to find my thing. I'm doing half jokes, half punches. The punches are corny.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yeah, I don't know if you can tell, but I hate my entire set at the moment. I really think it could be a lot better. But that's why I'm doing Dry January when I hit the ground running. Oh, for sure.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
I feel like I'm pretending. Of course. You can tell. It's brutal. I'm like, I really want to be taken serious, but I can't even take myself serious. Fucking fool. I'm just foolish.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Just like I'm fucking sweating. I'm sweating through my pants. I'm like... It's really not as bad as I'm making it out to be. Hey. But...
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Like, I don't know what's wrong with half of these people. Everyone's kind of fucking out of control.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
I just, I mean, I look up to you. I look up to like all your buddies.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
But you've got it. And it's just, it's like so awesome to see. I just, I can't wait for the day I finally get it, you know?
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Actually, will you sign this? I'm actually a huge fan.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
That's crazy. That just takes one John Hancock to pay six months rent.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
It's not the first boyfriend that's ever peed in the sink for her. She's kind of into it. The mom's into it for some reason.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
That's what she said. About the pissing in the sink?
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Not really. No, not so much. I think that's I think that's the new wave that they're trying to do right now is that they're trying to cast for a lot of comedy shows because there has been like a lull. Yeah, that's what I heard.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
No, no, no. I'm listening and I'm taking it all in because clearly I need it. I need all the information that I need.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
No, no, no. That was the advice you gave. Don't take anyone's advice.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
I guess I haven't podcasted in a while. I'm pretty rusty. You seem great. I'm usually good with the banter.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yeah, I mean, like you just got to – you got to say – you got to be yourself. Yeah. That's what it is. You just got to be yourself. But if yourself is an asshole, then maybe you should change.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Nora's here. We're trying to figure out, so Nora just graduated from West Virginia University.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
And we're trying to figure out what we're going to do with her. She needs a job, so I'm trying to think of what she can do within the realm of working together.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
She can edit. Yeah. So we're thinking she, she's going to be doing like the social media side of things.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
She's tagging along. It's good to have, it's good to have someone that knows you very well.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
What do you, what do you got so far? Well, you have to, that movie is coming out.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
You're making a movie. It's in the process of being made right now.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
What's the writing process for that? Are you allowed to talk about it?
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yeah, no, dude, you're locked in. I love to see that.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
My mom got me a megaphone for Christmas. And I got her a trip to Hawaii. So a little different.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
That's what's kind of fucked up, I'm realizing. But my father and I, we have a tricky relationship.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
No. Even the dog's a lady. So, yeah, the poor bastard, everybody always says. But it's what he gets, he says. I guess he was a fucking asshole growing up.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
It must be, yeah. He must have been a fucking prick because he says, I deserve it. That's what I get. Four women and a lady dog.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yeah. And what happened again? He was in a fire? What happened? He was electrocuted on the job. So he's the guy, when the lights go off in the city, he turns them on. And he got zippity zapped. Pop! Now we're doing the same drugs. He does ketamine therapy.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yeah. And he does his in a doctor's office and I do mine under the Brooklyn Bridge. It's a little different.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Just absolutely no. Picture like any Irish guy with like a scally cap about like yay high, wide, one dead tooth.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yes. Chewing tobacco, but he doesn't care anymore. It's just all in his teeth.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
I know. I wish I had the 23andMe to claim one of those things because I feel like if you can claim it, you can say it.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Confetti. It's like every day is a party in his mouth. Yeah.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
And then it used to be Marky Mark, but he kind of lost me because he wakes up too early in the morning and gets too swollen too early.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
His hands are in too many baskets. I don't trust him. He has his hands in too many things.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
There's a lot of words I can't say that I would love to claim to be able to say.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Nah. I think he lost that. He went full Hollywood.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
He has. And it starts early on. Beating the shit out of an Asian guy, all that jazz.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Your brothers are the brother brothers. The brothers was zapping Asians everywhere.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
It was the brothers and my father. My dad just is sparky now.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Oh, yeah. I would get people good. My favorite thing to do to fuck with someone was pass the milk carton around and say, oh, you sit on it. It's all right. And then you give it to the biggest person and you know it's going to explode.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
And I fell for it every time. It was foolish. I got jumped a lot growing up. You did? I did, yeah.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
He was kind of windmilling me, and I was pissing my pants, crying. And then all of a sudden, 21 Savage said, yo, y'all wildin' down there. Y'all gotta chill. And I'm like, can you help? It was crazy.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
You know, it was brutal. And it was good, though, because my buddy didn't even try to help. The girlfriend of the guy who was punching me said, nah, just let it happen. And she did. She let it happen.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Uh, no, it was just, yeah, it was just a baby girl.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Oh yeah. No, it's quite the story though. I went to school the next day with a black guy from a black guy.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
I just pretend it was from sex. I just keep running back to that.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Like, the last date I went on, he recorded inside my house. So I said, I think I'm good for now.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Like, yeah, dude, just lock your camera up, I guess.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
No, it's all right. Another date I went on, I was talking about it on the podcast, keeping it very ambiguous. I didn't want any feelings to get hurt, but he showed up hammered. And I thought that he was like just wicked drunk and slurring his words. Well, it turns out he had a speech impediment. Oh. And I didn't realize, and I didn't pick up on that. And he sent me a very long text.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
I have a speech impediment, and I don't know why. Very long. Yeah. And he said, I didn't know why you didn't like the champagne I bought you at the dive bar. I said, oh, I'm sorry. I guess we just want different things.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yeah. I don't know. I don't have a good track record.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Hell yeah. Have you seen that girl? Have you seen that girl who got railed by like 150 guys?
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yeah. She's kind of doing like magic. Like, I don't know. She's like adding time. She's doing daylight savings or something.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Oh my God. No, I haven't seen that, but that's classic.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
It's like a meet and greet with their dick out. Yeah. Yeah, just like next.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yeah, well, this is going the extra goddamn mile. Yeah.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
One of my worst jokes I ever wrote was, like one of my first ones was that I'm so Irish that I was breastfed Guinness. Yeah. Stupid.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
So, yeah, those are my friends from growing up. What I didn't realize was one of my friends, she's a really big fan, and her boyfriend who was sitting next to you, he's an even bigger fan of yours.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yeah, he was losing it. And she had her phone out. and she did exactly what i asked her not to do and she had her flash and she recorded a video and i was like she thought she was taking a picture oh and she actually took a video and it was like three seconds long of her boyfriend saying yeah yeah yeah i think so yeah
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
No, I would have had to delete that. I was so upset. You know, like you ask your friends to do one thing, which please don't do that one thing, and they do that one thing.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
You know what would be a good idea? I've been saying this. There should be a comedian at the halftime for the Super Bowl.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Oh, right now? No, no. God, no. No, I could pull that, though, if I wanted to.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
It would do, like, half music, half... You've got to find, like, the good, happy medium between fireworks, music, and jokes.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
It would be like the worst thing that's ever happened at the Super Bowl thus far.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
I don't know if I'm supposed to say this, but I saw Kid Rock the other night on New Year's. He looked like he was about to.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Pull up that video of him from the other night. No, I saw him with my own eyes.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
And he looked like he was about to go out on a stretcher. Is that always the thing? Is that his kind of his deal?
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Oh, did somebody get a video of him? Yeah, this is it. He looked a lot worse upstairs.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yeah, thank you, man. I'm really pumped for your movie. That sounds like really exciting stuff. So when do you start filming that?
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Just enjoy it. Just enjoy it. Don't talk about it. Just do it. Real G's move in silence like lasagna.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
I, so I moved to New York in 2020. I was doing it like here and there on like the streets. Cause you had to do it like outside at the time. And I was COVID cause COVID. Yeah. Yeah. And so I did like on and off here and there, but started taking it serious around January of this last year.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
I signed with a new network. Have you heard the Unwell Network?
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
With Alex Cooper. Okay. I never thought a day in my life I'd be a diversity hire, but it's all blonde hair, blue eye, pretty girls there.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Redheaded. I just bring a different kind of flavor.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
That's happened, yes. So that happened like right before the new year.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yes. And so I, that happened on, I left Barcelona on Sunday and then I got the call Monday and we had paper signed by Thursday. Wow. So it moved pretty quick, which was kind of crazy.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
I feel good, yeah. Except the one thing I'm concerned about is I don't have health insurance anymore, and I'm going deaf in my left ear.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
I'm going to need a couple of... Plan B pills and whatnot.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Dude, I would fucking rip that left and right if I had the sex.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
I had my first crazy fan bring me a bag of cocaine to my show the other night. Yeah, that was good.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
They know I like to stuff, but they wrote, we love you so much on a bag of cocaine, which I thought was hilarious.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
I preferred not to just because the circumstantially it was. Unknown where the origin was from. Yeah, absolutely.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
You got to be doing something right to get to that point.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yeah. I used to have it, but I just let it expire. I used to drive. I used to drive. And I had a Lincoln... 2002 Lincoln Presidential Town Car, which is either an elderly person or a pimp. I don't know if you've ever seen those bad boys.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yeah, three in the front, three in the back. That was the fucking cruiser. We loved that thing. It was awesome.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
I couldn't wait for him to croak to cop that thing.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yeah, it's like an oxymoron saying taking it serious because it's comedy. But just, like, going up as much as I could. Like, networking, I guess. And putting myself out there kind of thing. So I've been going up as much as I could. And, uh... Whitney Cummings ended up taking me on the road with her. Oh, Whitney took you on the road with her? My apologies.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
It's hopeless. Well, it's fine. I'm not worried about it.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
I mean, at this point, it's starting to be like, well, the older I get and the bigger reaction that I get when I tell people I've never been in a relationship is when I start to think, yeah, I think the next guy will probably be a forever.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
He could be a real prick, too. I gotta lock it down.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Who gives a fuck? Fuck it. I'll tell this story. I had a crush on Shane Gillis for a little bit. Big crush. And I had met him at my work. And, uh, I, I just word vomited. Uh, I was talking to him and I dropped a sandwich that I was eating and he said, are you going to pick that up? And I said, I gotta go. And I just left. Oh yeah.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Well, I just got really nervous that I wasn't playing cool at all.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
No, no. I just, I just, I, I scrammed out of there. Uh, but I just kept running into him that month, like a lot. And it looked like I was stalking him. And, uh, it, it, it ended with, he hosted Saturday Night Live. I was at the after party. And, uh, I'm like, I'm looking at him. I'm like, don't look at him. Don't look at him. And I looked at him. I go, Hey, congrats tonight, man.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
He's like, yeah, thank you so much. I said, yeah. Uh, Bet you're going to get mad pussy tonight, bro.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
You're not supposed to say that one. And he said, what did you say? I said, oh, see ya. And I just left the bathroom line. Dude. I bought him a beer because I felt bad.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
That's just like a really great example of how I operate. Yeah. So it all makes sense, right?
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
This is a new one by him, right? Yeah. From Mr. AB.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
AB. He's got, uh, he did like a whole, like he was giving awards out to everybody this year.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Which was sick, yeah. So she put the fire under my ass. She came on. I used to have a podcast. It's no longer, but she came on as a guest, and she was like, I fuck with you. You should open for me. And I'm like... you don't want it. You don't want, you don't want that. And she was like, no, just, just do it. Just say yes. And, uh, it'll, it'll all follow. So she put the fire under my ass.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
It's not that I want to. It's just like, it'd be a nice perk.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
And I wonder if you could say it like in public or does it have to be alone in the shower or something?
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
No, I've lost pretty much everything I've ever tried to do. But, you know, you can't let that stop you. I lost class clown to some girl who dropped out of high school. Yeah. So we did them at the beginning of the year and she was not there to receive the award at the end of the year.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
That's what I'm saying. It wasn't fair. And I don't think I was eligible because of just being a shithead. I had like a 1.5 GPA.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
I was not. I was too worried about having fun and cracking jokes.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
I wasn't as like much of a lose. I just wasn't getting laid. But I was cool.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Oh, absolutely. People didn't like having me around because if you got stuck with me, you would be dragging me out of the woods. Yeah. Yeah. I would fall flat.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
If a tree falls in the woods, you're going to hear it. It's grace.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Oh, my God. I'd kill myself. I really would. That's so scary.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
I would have been scratching my eyes out. Like, yeah. I can't. I did it one time.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yeah. I wasn't on camera, no. I just, like, in general did it one time. I didn't like it.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
It was after a long day of partying. We ripped it at 3 in the morning. So it was a really bad idea. Yeah, really bad idea. Oh, yeah. So I won't be doing that anytime soon. But Molly's a lot better. She's a sweetheart. I like her.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Um, so she, she gave me 15, which turned into 20. And, uh, she just kept, I guess I was doing something right. Cause she kept adding me to more cities. So I was like, all right, so I guess I'm doing pretty good. Yeah. That was nice.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Fucking devious on that. You are not a one love hippie on LSD.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
can't handle their own goddamn dogs and they can get the fuck out of my face and get out the forest big dog huh if you don't want to link up and get out the food chain that's how you like tear your friends like who can handle it Who can handle being alone? Who can do their drugs?
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
And he'd say in the house behind him, like, yeah, why are you being such a gay homo? Yeah.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Um, Oh, culturally, probably there was, um, there was this thing in the seventies called busing where they brought, um,
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
african-american children into the city and uh for schooling and for schooling yeah so so uh i some people didn't like that so those people they left and that is unfortunately where i come from that's just oh that's for your family yeah you were birthed out of those people yeah those were those guys people make their choices you know um
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yeah. It, like, freaks me out. It doesn't even run in the family, but that sounds scary.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Actually, it might run in the family. I got a cousin like that.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
I think I do a good job already. I'm saying manly shit to men to flirt with them. Fucking get some tail tonight, brother. Like what?
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Deflate these balls. God. Yeah, that's the unfortunate truth.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Is he also on your team? I feel like you know him.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
When you're going to do legal work, you got to go to ducks.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
I'm like, oh, yeah. Meet me at the Dunks on 15th and 2nd. We'll get to the legal work. We got some legal work. That is so good. And you know he's not studying to be a lawyer.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yeah, but it's, you know, it's not as loud as it is down here.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Which is probably why I have nothing to talk about.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yeah. But by the time I dropped out of college, I had a 4.0.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
They're missing out on, well, the fathers are missing out on loving their children. Yeah. They don't know how to express it.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We just have just little innuendos of bad history and bad— Bad things we did, I guess. It's still up there, though, for sure.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yeah. Who's up there for you? Who haven't you met? And who, on top of that, who was your favorite thus far?
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Okay. So it is going to be coming out in February. That's great. Uh, everything is completely up in the air right now. Try to figure out what the hell it's going to be. But for the most part, the idea for it is the name is going to be disgraceful and I'm going to have, uh, like guests on every week. And for the first 50 to 20 minutes, they're auditioning to be my new co-host.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
No, he wanted to be a police officer. Ended up being an electrician. But he fucked that up, too.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Cause I, I need a new co-host. So that's like the niche there. And then after that, hopefully we'll, we'll shoot the shit. I'll get to practice in a little more and be a little better for, for that.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Um, that's the thing. It's all just a gimmick. I'm never, I'm never probably going to have a host.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Possibility. Like, um, Alex suggested, um, Alex Cooper, Alex Cooper suggested that, um, from color daddy.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
So I had, I had pitched her my idea for this podcast and she was like, yeah, that's awesome. But what if you did a podcast with like Blake Griffin? I'm like, what? So that's the idea that she has for it. So we're going to figure out something somewhere in the middle. Something like that, yeah. That was just like a little behind-the-scenes kind of phone call. So we'll see how it goes.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yep. And despite everything I've said on this podcast, it is a good show. So come on out.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yeah, on the job. Oh, yeah. And he said he saw God. He started to be a believer. And Tyler Childers walked him into heaven when he died.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
oh yeah I believe that it is I almost stayed I wanted to stay there I think I got nervous there were so many girls in there a lot of girls yeah it's like a slumber party yeah and then I just my whole time I'm just trying to make the boyfriends laugh yeah because they don't want to be there oh they are so I like really try my best to make them laugh the most
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yeah, totally. I mean, I just did a New Year's Eve show. So everyone, three, two, one, everyone started kissing. I'm like, I'm still on stage by myself. It's like a double whammy fuck you. I was like, this is nice.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
I just, I started, I just grabbed the bouncer. I just fucked him on stage there. No, I started, I started shotgunning beers. So I felt less lonely. Yes, I swear to God.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yeah. It's just, there's no way, it's not a way for a woman to talk. Quack. Yeah.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
The musician walked him into the pearly gates. So that's my father.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yeah, that's the kind of guys up there. They'll throw their wives across a car to impress their boys. Oh, yeah. They're kind of gay for it.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yeah, well, I mean, yeah. But, like, that guy's still alive, so I don't know what that illusion was with him. I'm not really sure.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
getting slammed now we talking we're talking i'll take it wherever i can get it this is a christian program oh is it now my apologies so you're right at home go ahead um yeah no uh and then i'm trying to cut back on drinking i have a drinking problem you do i'm a functioning alcoholic oh yeah yeah big time so i'm trying to i'm trying to kick back okay let's start with the dry january and see where that goes
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Oh, yeah. I missed the first day, but what are you going to do?
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
And then – Your nightmare is my every day. I don't know. Yeah.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yeah, it's really sweet, but that makes me, it's like, oh, that's potential.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yeah, there you go. Then you can hang out with your other friends. Yeah.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Happy New Year, man. Thank you very much. It was an honor, truly and honestly.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yeah, like you were having a bad dream, and then you woke up and you were blasted.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yeah, no, that's fair. I think crab meat should be fresh from the ocean. Like, right from the ocean. When we got here this weekend, I had crab legs. I'm like, what am I doing? I've shit my brains out this whole last couple days. We're in landlocked right now, right? Yeah, I don't know what I was doing.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
I've never had money before, so I was like, yeah, we'll get some crab legs. This is sick.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Are you guys on a basis of like talking? No. Okay.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Fuck. I forget who it was, but they said tinted windows don't mean nothing. They know who's inside.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Yeah. Fuck. So you're fucked. And so is the guy who waited five years for a Cybertruck just to blow it up. What a science experiment.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
That's what it does look like. It does look like a spectacle. I think it was a political point in front of Trump.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
I think one person did die, so it's tough to find a joke there.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E553 Grace O'Malley
Because I've been looking. I've told my friends before. I don't get laid much. That's just a fact about me. But I told my friends, just surprise me with a hooker one day. And don't tell me it's a hooker.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we got kicked out of boston w/ grace o‘malley
He rocks in my house and he rocks in my yard.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we got kicked out of boston w/ grace o‘malley
You'll never work in this town again.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we got kicked out of boston w/ grace o‘malley
My new segment fell flat on its face.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we got kicked out of boston w/ grace o‘malley
Don't you dare. He's cooking. This is like... That was well done.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we got kicked out of boston w/ grace o‘malley
Oh, getting rage head. Road rage head. Road rage head. Feels awesome! Get out. I'm trying to merge.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we got kicked out of boston w/ grace o‘malley
Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Burger King mascot. Oh, yes. Nice.