Gabby
Appearances
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#2790 Summer House 0908 Part Two: Soft Launch
fluid yeah because they'll like get boxes from a brand and they open them first and then they give them to me so it's like so great to have them there because like i'm already with them so like i could get a box and let's say like what if i don't know how to open a box but my sister does and then she passes me what's inside the box like i don't even have to touch cardboard anymore oh
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#2790 Summer House 0908 Part Two: Soft Launch
It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.
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#2790 Summer House 0908 Part Two: Soft Launch
So she does her photo shoot in Jesse's lucky underwear, which is so sad. And meanwhile, she gets a text from Jesse and she looks sad. And she's like, I mean, I've always seen like Sierra and Jesse is like brother, sister. So like, I've never watched anything white Lotus. So to me, that's just sounds like totally normal and fine. But, um, I've never seen them flirt.
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#2790 Summer House 0908 Part Two: Soft Launch
So this whole thing of everybody being like, Oh my God, they're flirting. Like, that's weird because like, That's not something that's even in my head. It's like math.
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And Gabby's like, wait, so that was last summer, right? She goes, yeah. And Emeril's like, yeah, the NYFC games. She goes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's when it was. So Gabby's like, ding, ding, ding, ding, math, math, math, beautiful, beautiful mind, you know, equations going all over. She's like, wait a minute.
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#2790 Summer House 0908 Part Two: Soft Launch
So you're saying last summer when Lindsay and Carl were still very much engaged, he met your parents and then you slid into his DMs? That's suspicious. That's suspicious. Mm-hmm.
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#2790 Summer House 0908 Part Two: Soft Launch
I missed her. I missed her. Did you go on a cute little date? We went on our second or third date. Did you tell her you sucked her toe? Let's just get to it. I'm bored with you. Your charm does not work on me.
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#2790 Summer House 0908 Part Two: Soft Launch
So on Reddit, sorry, I'm saying this like 20 times to recap, but it's all I read. So there was a screenshot of Lil posting. She's like getting into the mix now. And she's like, what can you people read? Okay. October is after the summer. And she posts the DM where she slid into Carl's DMs and it says like October 22nd. So, okay.
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#2790 Summer House 0908 Part Two: Soft Launch
But then why in this episode are we seeing Gabby saying, so that was last summer, right? And then Lil saying yes. Why? Is it because they edited something shady in there? Yeah, maybe it was like shady editing, but I don't know. There's a big mystery of the week.
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#2790 Summer House 0908 Part Two: Soft Launch
he was already playing the field right as you know very quickly oh literally because it was a game it was a sports game oh thank you thank you man so then um now we go to kickball west is throwing a big kickball event because it's like trendy and west is nothing if not useful okay thankfully he's not wearing a Tennis sweater and a scarf on his head. So I will thank him for that one.
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#2790 Summer House 0908 Part Two: Soft Launch
He does still have stupid hair, though. So let's see where this leads. It's a group playing kickball.
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#2790 Summer House 0908 Part Two: Soft Launch
And he's like, well, I guess she still feels like some kind of way. Like Jesse said, I just wish she was here so she could get over the fact that I wouldn't date her. That seems to really have crushed her.
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So he says that he texted his mom to ask what what position pregnant ladies can play. And Lindsay's like, I'll play the same position that I played in my relationship with Carl. No catcher.
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This is like Gabby's best episode of the year so far.
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#2790 Summer House 0908 Part Two: Soft Launch
So they make teams and stuff, and Lindsay and Gabby are talking, and she's like, how was that, like, how was that, like, whatever you went to? Like, I don't even know what to call it. And Gabby's like, it was like a friends and family soft opening thing in New Jersey. Yeah.
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#2790 Summer House 0908 Part Two: Soft Launch
So that's something. And he's putting it on TV to hopefully raise some money from viewers, which apparently he does have partners plan.
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#2790 Summer House 0908 Part Two: Soft Launch
Man, pregnant ladies really get the short end of this. God, that was a whistle. Sorry, that was my gay whistle. I really just whistled in people's ears. Tell your dogs I'm sorry. It's a gay person that they're listening to. But, you know, pregnant women get the short end of the stick. Like, no burrata, no shrimp. Come on, there's too much of a list.
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#2790 Summer House 0908 Part Two: Soft Launch
I mean, how did my mom have a carton of Benson and Hedges and a fucking bottle of wine every day? I mean, I guess I'm not fine, but still.
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#2790 Summer House 0908 Part Two: Soft Launch
And Gabby's like, so you had to talk about being exclusive? You really want that? You? And he's like, I mean, yeah. Like, listen, there's no guy on the planet who's going to be like, wow, can't wait to have sex with one woman for the rest of my life, right? I mean, come on. Like, no guy's going to think that.
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So Lindsay's like, wow, didn't think of pregnant women at all. And Gabby says, well, he said the soft bar is like for pregnant women. And he said he wants pregnant women to be there. And Lindsay's like, um, no, he did not. No, he did not. Oh my God. Okay. Did the girls show up? Did the girls show up? Did she have cards in her purse?
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Why would they have to mark that down? They show brands on every show on Bravo. Yeah.
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#2790 Summer House 0908 Part Two: Soft Launch
Now they're trying to figure out the protest. I'll still wear your glasses. I'm just going to change the name of them.
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#2790 Summer House 0908 Part Two: Soft Launch
Yeah, or how pregnant women can't eat Uchi. So Lindsay's like, okay, did she say when this was? We need to make a timeline. And she's like, she said summer. So they're like, oh my God, the math, the math. And she's like, um, wait a minute. There was one week, the last of us being together after the soccer game and before we broke up. Okay, are you following? I'm not really. What soccer game?
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The soccer game they're talking about?
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#2790 Summer House 0908 Part Two: Soft Launch
So once again, you're gaslighting everyone, and you're a fucking fraud, you're a fucking phony, you're a fucking liar, and now I'm adding cheater to your fucking resume. And that's literally all that's on his resume. He's done nothing. I know. He doesn't even have came up with the idea of pirate party on his resume because I came up with that.
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Poor Carl. So then we see a flashback to the reunion where Andy is asking Carl if it was his intention to break up with Lindsay when he had that conversation on camera. And he's like, oh, no, I just I wanted to get on the same page and I hoped it would go a little differently.
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Oh, hopefully they could just hear that in their heads. So don't worry about it. So Lindsay's like, um, motherfucker, you knew you were already talking to somebody and her parents. Hmm.
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So now other people come to the games and they actually start playing kickball. With Bailey.
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#2790 Summer House 0908 Part Two: Soft Launch
Yeah, so she does that and then Wes finds out Sierra's not coming and he's like, oh, that's a bummer. You know, I miss being cool with her, you know. Yeah. I just don't want to be the reason other people aren't having fun. So, like, I'm clearly uncomfortable not being friends. So then Carl comes over and he's like, hey, Lindy. Hey, everybody. Hey, everybody. Hey, Lindy. High five, Lindy.
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Yeah. I think there's like maybe hundreds of guys like that.
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#2790 Summer House 0908 Part Two: Soft Launch
High five. Softly, please. Softly. Softly. Softly. Softly. Softly. Softly.
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#2790 Summer House 0908 Part Two: Soft Launch
It was pretty cold. I tried to give her a soft five, and she said, I'm okay. Okay. And West is like, that's tough, man. Sierra won't get over the fact that I won't date her, so that's going on too dark. Oh, my God. Or us. Yes. Or guys on the show. God, we're taking it so hard for the women on the show, aren't we, bro? It's like, yeah.
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I'd rather die, Paul. Okay, that's what I'm playing today.
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#2790 Summer House 0908 Part Two: Soft Launch
So Lindsay catches Paige up on the goss. She's like, and in August, he went to that soccer game. They were DMing each other before he ever broke up with me and his mother and his mother.
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#2790 Summer House 0908 Part Two: Soft Launch
Paige is loving this. She's like, oh, wow. And she goes, yeah, fucking wow. But I'm the villain and you're lying to everyone about you're such a victim. Oh, my God.
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#2790 Summer House 0908 Part Two: Soft Launch
So Jesse and Carl and Emeril, all the guys are talking, and they're talking about the new girl, Lil. And Emeril's like, yeah, she is pretty quirky, huh? And he goes, yeah, she's got a lot of great energy. She wears safety pins on purpose. And, you know, she's attractive. But, you know, like in my head, I'm comparing myself to the orgy beast. Orgy beast Emeril over here. So that's kind of rough.
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Yeah, and Gabby calls it. She's like, okay, so you're saying that you're going to make her your girlfriend so you can fuck her. And he's like, um, whoa. And Paige goes, so you had sex? And he goes, oh, Paige. She goes, oh my God, you did. I can tell. You did. I can tell. And he's like, I don't want to kiss until, guys, unless it's Emeril. I'll do that. But basically, I don't want to do it.
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#2790 Summer House 0908 Part Two: Soft Launch
And I think this is the danger with the whole, like, don't put out until you're married to a guy. Like, that's like a very old-fashioned thing. But, like, don't put out until you've got commitment from a guy. That is the dangerous part of it, is that they're going to be on their best behavior until they get it. And then they'll switch, you know? Part of me is like, just fuck someone.
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Thank you. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it.
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#2790 Summer House 0908 Part Two: Soft Launch
I mean, not necessarily immediately, but...
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#2790 Summer House 0908 Part Two: Soft Launch
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So then Paige is like, wow, look at that random guy there, sitting there. You don't want to kiss and tell in front of him. That's for sure. Jesse's like, yeah, I can't say anything in front of that guy. You look trustworthy, but we don't really know you yet. All right. So he's uncomfortable and he does not like that they're questioning him on camera either.
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Like he's very visibly not loving this because he sees what's coming and he deserves it. He deserves every bit of what's coming.
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#2790 Summer House 0908 Part Two: Soft Launch
No, I'm just joking. That's Lexi's friend.
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#2790 Summer House 0908 Part Two: Soft Launch
So Sierra's like, um, the pregnant lady is probably going to be Gabby. And Gabby's like, don't put that on me, especially in Jersey.
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#2790 Summer House 0908 Part Two: Soft Launch
So then back to the other convo, Paige was like, did you or did you not have sex? Jesus Christ. It's like asking Craig, did you or did you not make that banana loaf bread? Can I just get an answer? And he's like, yeah, we had sex. He's like, I knew that he didn't make that banana bread. I knew it.
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Yeah, like, Jesse, you were, like, acting crazy with Sierra. You were, like, seriously flirting with Sierra. And he's like, oh, we were just being friends. And so we cut to last weekend where he's totally flirting with Sierra. You know, he's like, blah, sorry, I'm touching your leg there. God damn. Sorry you're a 10. Sorry.
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Yeah. So then we get Carl's speech. Carl's like, everybody, everybody, is this thing on? Is this thing on? I need a microphone. I don't know how many people are here, but we're in New Jersey. So I just want to make sure you can hear me. Okay. Hey, everybody. Thank you. Oh, God. Hold on. I'm sweating a little bit. I'm the only one sweating here. God, it's crazy.
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But I just want everyone, like, I started this business for many reasons. One, Lindsay was mean to my mom. Mom, that one was for you. She's like, yes, it was mean. Fuck that bitch. All right. Number two, I don't drink anymore, so that's a huge thing. I just want life to be more soft. You know what I'm saying? It's all soft. I want a drink that represents my penis when I'm with Lindsay.
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Okay, thanks. That was for you, Mom. That was for you.
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#2790 Summer House 0908 Part Two: Soft Launch
I was like, wait, where is the non-alcoholic stuff in this fridge? It's called Sprite, babe.
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#2790 Summer House 0908 Part Two: Soft Launch
Listen, people who have railed against brick and mortar, even they deserve a chance to sit in a 7-Eleven and drink some non-alcohol. Am I right? So here we go. Soft. People. Everybody. Oh, sorry. Go ahead.
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#2790 Summer House 0908 Part Two: Soft Launch
Uh, everybody, this has been an amazing ride in the van from Manhattan, which is where we came from. So thanks, man. Everybody should get a van, really. Uh, thanks for coming. Okay. Uh, if anybody has a news twist on paper towels, I would buy some right now because I'm really sweating like a dog. So that would be great.
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#2790 Summer House 0908 Part Two: Soft Launch
Oh, well, I figured I'm mixing water. You know, I'm going to loopy from all the benefits. That's what's going on here. And so it's like, yeah, I heard about the toe sucking. So that was good for you. I was like, wait, what? You gross.
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#2790 Summer House 0908 Part Two: Soft Launch
I know actually when Emeril was saying, yeah, you know, Bailey, he just like walked in while we were having a threesome and I need to talk to him about that. I thought he meant like, you can't just walk in the room when I'm banging two chicks, bro. But then he made it sound like he was talking about Lexi not liking it. So I was like, I would actually rather a conversation of general manners.
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If you know I'm having sex, maybe don't walk in, especially when there's camera crews in the house and I'm fucking two arrows.
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#2790 Summer House 0908 Part Two: Soft Launch
So he says, yeah, you know, I walked into his room to see who he was having a threesome with. And then they were like, jump in. So I was like, no, you know, no toes as much as you're going to get ladies. Sorry. Sorry. Just the toe, just the toe. So Sierra's like, Ooh. So she said, can I put your toe in your mouth? And you said, okay. And he's like, yeah, you know, it's like everyone was drunk.
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He's like, well, it's pretty exclusive. Yeah, but can she get her toe sucked by other men? Because, you know, good damn and well, that's a no. Okay, and look at that smile, Jesse Solomon. You already fucked up, my guy. So Jesse's like, I mean, I thought Emeril was cool. Apparently not. Dude, you were on camera doing it. Like, that's what cracks me up.
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He just thinks he's just never going to tell her. And then by the time he's fucked her, got what he wants, and it's the reunion, it won't matter anymore because it'll already be broken up. This guy's so slimy. He's just such a fucking slime ball.
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#2790 Summer House 0908 Part Two: Soft Launch
Let me tell you the most popular time for people to want spreads. January. Huge time. Huge, huge time. So Jesse, Gabby, and Paige all sit down and talk. And Jesse's being like, hey, guys. It's so gorgeous. So they get right into it. And Paige is like, so did you see Lexi this week? And he's like, no, Paige. No, Paige. And she's like, well, did you or didn't you? Yeah. Did you miss her?
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Yeah, you think? So he goes, great chatting, guys. Really great chatting. Ciara goes, yeah, toe sucker. Good chat. So then Jesse immediately whips out his phone and texts Lexi. Hey, I miss you. Miss you. Just in case she's getting any texts from Bailey or anything else. That's his cover. So then we go to Lexi. I'm showing up to a photo shoot with Andrew the photographer and my mom and my sister.