Eleazar Guzman
👤 PersonPodcast Appearances
Hey everybody, my name's Elazer. He tried his best. Yeah, I probably shouldn't have smoked before this. You guys ever smoke and then feel like you're gonna have a heart attack? I gotta stop smoking meth. I'm kidding, but I grew up Jehovah's Witness. Oh, I never get that reaction. Usually even Mormons are like, yikes. So it made stuff like my birthday recently really weird.
I just recently turned 34. Thanks. I've been freaking out about it. Felt like I hadn't had enough sex in my life. So my last month with me at 33, I was just trying to go on as many dates as possible. And this last date I went on, this girl was like, look, I want to have sex tonight, but I have a UTI. And I said, look, I don't care what school you went to.
New York City, New Jersey, all over the country. Fantastic. You live in Austin now? I live in Austin, yeah.
What do you do for work? I work at NADC Burger.
So addictive. I'm broke as fuck, so I eat a burger every day. Yeah.
Um, not really. I just kind of make my own shows I've been producing for a while.
So I did like some tours through like Tennessee and like New Orleans, Texas, but just like bar shows, Arizona. Very cool. Something like that.
Yeah, no. I say bus man. So, yeah.
I write stories. What kind of stories? Short stories and novels. Nice. I've been doing that for most of my life.
Not great. I'm a little awkward. I fucked once since I've been out here. That's all that matters.
Maybe two or three years ago. All right. What happened there? She was psycho.
No, but she carried a gun. In New York City? No, no. Yeah, actually, New Jersey. She's from New Jersey. Oh, that makes sense.
No, I'm Puerto Rican. Ah, nice.
No, my mother is Puerto Rican and my stepfather is Mexican. Okay. Okay.
Oh, no. With my thing? She kind of stopped giving a shit about the political stuff a while ago.
I've been avoiding saying anything about it, honestly. Perfect.