Edie

Hi, my name is Edie. I'm from Baltimore. And my favorite Lonely Island skit is Ross Trank because my dad is bald. And my question is, why won't my parents let me say sushi glory hole at school? Bye.

Hi, my name is Edie. I'm from Baltimore. And my favorite Lonely Island skit is Ross Trank because my dad is bald. And my question is, why won't my parents let me say sushi glory hole at school? Bye.

Hi, my name is Edie. I'm from Baltimore. And my favorite Lonely Island skit is Ross Trank because my dad is bald. And my question is, why won't my parents let me say sushi glory hole at school? Bye.

Hi.

Hi.

Am I ever.

Am I ever.

Would those be tariffs?

Would those be tariffs?

Whiskey.

Whiskey.

Water.

Water.

Yeah, I would love that because I know a lot of drinks.

Yeah, I would love that because I know a lot of drinks.

I've heard from myself.

I've heard from myself.

I've heard from myself. There's like different versions. Right. And at the end of the day, you're going to fall asleep anyway. So.

I've heard from myself. There's like different versions. Right. And at the end of the day, you're going to fall asleep anyway. So.

I've escaped from a public bathroom.

I've escaped from a public bathroom.

I think I do love public restrooms. Girls out at a club, there's nothing better than 2 o'clock in the morning. freaking Destiny's Child on the radio in a girl's bathroom. It's the most fun place on the planet.

I think I do love public restrooms. Girls out at a club, there's nothing better than 2 o'clock in the morning. freaking Destiny's Child on the radio in a girl's bathroom. It's the most fun place on the planet.

We're having more fun than you guys. I can't tell you, but everybody's so nice. There's infinite tampons. It's just like... That's what I said, heaven.

We're having more fun than you guys. I can't tell you, but everybody's so nice. There's infinite tampons. It's just like... That's what I said, heaven.

Everybody's so nice. You just walk in and then drunk girls are like, you look so beautiful. And it's like, thank you.

Everybody's so nice. You just walk in and then drunk girls are like, you look so beautiful. And it's like, thank you.

Do you have a Starbucks name? Do you have a name that you give when you go so that they always get it? I mean, your name's Tom, so I don't know how... They're messing up Shantira left and right.

Do you have a Starbucks name? Do you have a name that you give when you go so that they always get it? I mean, your name's Tom, so I don't know how... They're messing up Shantira left and right.

Then you'll get to see it. Leave it on my tab.

Then you'll get to see it. Leave it on my tab.

Everything he's ever done.

Everything he's ever done.

Election interference.

Election interference.

Birth flu?

Birth flu?

Making all the animals go to bed early.

Making all the animals go to bed early.

Drinking enough water and not just because she forgot to drink water earlier.

Drinking enough water and not just because she forgot to drink water earlier.

Ooh, when to arrive, how early to get there? Because... We have to watch the ads?

Ooh, when to arrive, how early to get there? Because... We have to watch the ads?

And you know what? You know what? I laughed a little bit.

And you know what? You know what? I laughed a little bit.

Hmm. Can I have a hint, please?

Hmm. Can I have a hint, please?

So she could run slowly?

So she could run slowly?

We don't know how fast fast was back then. She might have been the fast... She's the only person we know running. If you're the only one running, you are the fastest.

We don't know how fast fast was back then. She might have been the fast... She's the only person we know running. If you're the only one running, you are the fastest.

There might have been... Just by process of elimination.

There might have been... Just by process of elimination.

You know what? It's always people who don't do sports who are talking trash about people who do sports. You're in a lab and that girl can run, okay?

You know what? It's always people who don't do sports who are talking trash about people who do sports. You're in a lab and that girl can run, okay?

Thank you so much.

Thank you so much.

Bye.

Bye.

Hi, Tom. This is Edie calling in from Alexandria, Virginia.

Hi, Tom. This is Edie calling in from Alexandria, Virginia.

It's his fault because the ring had to be too small if she was able to eat it.

It's his fault because the ring had to be too small if she was able to eat it.

Get her a bigger rock. Not even, she just ate it? Not a choke? Not a spit out?

Get her a bigger rock. Not even, she just ate it? Not a choke? Not a spit out?

She swallowed it?

She swallowed it?

They're not getting married.

They're not getting married.

Well, I work in conservation and climate advocacy, and I like to go birding, spend time outside, you know. Yeah.

Well, I work in conservation and climate advocacy, and I like to go birding, spend time outside, you know. Yeah.

Many folks like to paint the town red, but one woman was truly flabbergasted when everything in her house was suddenly dyed green, including her cat. So, like any American seeking good advice, the woman turned to Reddit.

Many folks like to paint the town red, but one woman was truly flabbergasted when everything in her house was suddenly dyed green, including her cat. So, like any American seeking good advice, the woman turned to Reddit.

She explained that she first noticed her cat's fur taking on a greenish tint before seeing that other items in her home, including her couch, phone charger, and wall, were also changing hues. She took her cat to the vet, had her A.C. and water checked, and even went to the doctor herself for answers and got none.

She explained that she first noticed her cat's fur taking on a greenish tint before seeing that other items in her home, including her couch, phone charger, and wall, were also changing hues. She took her cat to the vet, had her A.C. and water checked, and even went to the doctor herself for answers and got none.

She was totally at a loss until one Reddit user asked if the original poster had recently purchased some jeans from Old Navy. Apparently, there is a pair of jeans from Old Navy that are notorious for staining everything green. The woman claimed that neither she nor her husband wore jeans. They were strictly a slacks family.

She was totally at a loss until one Reddit user asked if the original poster had recently purchased some jeans from Old Navy. Apparently, there is a pair of jeans from Old Navy that are notorious for staining everything green. The woman claimed that neither she nor her husband wore jeans. They were strictly a slacks family.

But something about the comment irked her and made her suspicious of an affair. She looked through her husband's phone and lo and behold, there were, quote, some sexy Instagram DMs from a woman who wears jeans. He was, in fact, having an affair. Turns out green wasn't the color of jealousy, but rather the color of bargain-priced infidelity.

But something about the comment irked her and made her suspicious of an affair. She looked through her husband's phone and lo and behold, there were, quote, some sexy Instagram DMs from a woman who wears jeans. He was, in fact, having an affair. Turns out green wasn't the color of jealousy, but rather the color of bargain-priced infidelity.

Hi.

Am I ever.

Would those be tariffs?

Whiskey.

Water.

Yeah, I would love that because I know a lot of drinks.

I've heard from myself.

I've heard from myself. There's like different versions. Right. And at the end of the day, you're going to fall asleep anyway. So.

I've escaped from a public bathroom.

I think I do love public restrooms. Girls out at a club, there's nothing better than 2 o'clock in the morning. freaking Destiny's Child on the radio in a girl's bathroom. It's the most fun place on the planet.

We're having more fun than you guys. I can't tell you, but everybody's so nice. There's infinite tampons. It's just like... That's what I said, heaven.

Everybody's so nice. You just walk in and then drunk girls are like, you look so beautiful. And it's like, thank you.

Do you have a Starbucks name? Do you have a name that you give when you go so that they always get it? I mean, your name's Tom, so I don't know how... They're messing up Shantira left and right.

Then you'll get to see it. Leave it on my tab.

Everything he's ever done.

Election interference.

Birth flu?

Making all the animals go to bed early.

Drinking enough water and not just because she forgot to drink water earlier.

Ooh, when to arrive, how early to get there? Because... We have to watch the ads?

And you know what? You know what? I laughed a little bit.

Hmm. Can I have a hint, please?

So she could run slowly?

We don't know how fast fast was back then. She might have been the fast... She's the only person we know running. If you're the only one running, you are the fastest.

There might have been... Just by process of elimination.

You know what? It's always people who don't do sports who are talking trash about people who do sports. You're in a lab and that girl can run, okay?

Thank you so much.

Bye.

Hi, Tom. This is Edie calling in from Alexandria, Virginia.

It's his fault because the ring had to be too small if she was able to eat it.

Get her a bigger rock. Not even, she just ate it? Not a choke? Not a spit out?

She swallowed it?

They're not getting married.

Well, I work in conservation and climate advocacy, and I like to go birding, spend time outside, you know. Yeah.

Many folks like to paint the town red, but one woman was truly flabbergasted when everything in her house was suddenly dyed green, including her cat. So, like any American seeking good advice, the woman turned to Reddit.

She explained that she first noticed her cat's fur taking on a greenish tint before seeing that other items in her home, including her couch, phone charger, and wall, were also changing hues. She took her cat to the vet, had her A.C. and water checked, and even went to the doctor herself for answers and got none.

She was totally at a loss until one Reddit user asked if the original poster had recently purchased some jeans from Old Navy. Apparently, there is a pair of jeans from Old Navy that are notorious for staining everything green. The woman claimed that neither she nor her husband wore jeans. They were strictly a slacks family.

But something about the comment irked her and made her suspicious of an affair. She looked through her husband's phone and lo and behold, there were, quote, some sexy Instagram DMs from a woman who wears jeans. He was, in fact, having an affair. Turns out green wasn't the color of jealousy, but rather the color of bargain-priced infidelity.