Ed Zitron
Appearances
Behind the Bastards
Part One: In Honor Of Our New Monarchy, Let's Talk About Versailles
So what you're suggesting is that the poorer people pay more and the richer people have found a way around taxes somehow? Yeah.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: In Honor Of Our New Monarchy, Let's Talk About Versailles
The people with the signature are probably the one. Why are the kings so insulated? Well, is it just because they can deploy the army against the peasantry?
Behind the Bastards
Part One: In Honor Of Our New Monarchy, Let's Talk About Versailles
Bonnie, there's a juggler.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: In Honor Of Our New Monarchy, Let's Talk About Versailles
Foreign world famous Robert Juggler. It would be really bad if we had a foreign guy doing something to our government as well.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: In Honor Of Our New Monarchy, Let's Talk About Versailles
That's what I wanted to establish. Is this child in France, can the child do things yet?
Behind the Bastards
Part One: In Honor Of Our New Monarchy, Let's Talk About Versailles
Better than AI. Fucking Macron.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: In Honor Of Our New Monarchy, Let's Talk About Versailles
Shit ton of tyranids. And you're just like, this is why you can't, like, your power is $100 pounds an hour.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: In Honor Of Our New Monarchy, Let's Talk About Versailles
And someone who looks and sounds like both Beavis and Butthead knows my social security now.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: In Honor Of Our New Monarchy, Let's Talk About Versailles
Is that just, he promises it? He has him on, on him? Like, no, no, he's got tons of horses on him. Yeah. Just like,
Behind the Bastards
Part One: In Honor Of Our New Monarchy, Let's Talk About Versailles
So is there a logic behind the mirror room, or is it just so everyone could see you have mirrors?
Behind the Bastards
Part One: In Honor Of Our New Monarchy, Let's Talk About Versailles
Yeah. Fucking rude.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: In Honor Of Our New Monarchy, Let's Talk About Versailles
People are so fucking unsafe. Mm-hmm.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: In Honor Of Our New Monarchy, Let's Talk About Versailles
Like- That's fine.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: In Honor Of Our New Monarchy, Let's Talk About Versailles
Because you're going to and from parties and working out how you dress.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: In Honor Of Our New Monarchy, Let's Talk About Versailles
This is just CES, but French. Yes, yes.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: In Honor Of Our New Monarchy, Let's Talk About Versailles
When you say they're warriors, what does that mean, though, for the nobility?
Behind the Bastards
Part One: In Honor Of Our New Monarchy, Let's Talk About Versailles
So the economy literally centralized around a house.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: In Honor Of Our New Monarchy, Let's Talk About Versailles
This is so awful, but also so cool.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: In Honor Of Our New Monarchy, Let's Talk About Versailles
It's just like half the economy. Yeah. Like all of the, we have an entire thing of like housing furnishings.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: In Honor Of Our New Monarchy, Let's Talk About Versailles
Like multiple industries.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: In Honor Of Our New Monarchy, Let's Talk About Versailles
This really is kinging it about as hard as one.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: In Honor Of Our New Monarchy, Let's Talk About Versailles
If you're going to be a king, spend half of the economy, create multiple industries, make everything built in one country to make your house cool. To make your house cool. And then create a bunch of bizarre social rules inside it so that everyone's freaked out.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: In Honor Of Our New Monarchy, Let's Talk About Versailles
You must come to my house. Build my house.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: In Honor Of Our New Monarchy, Let's Talk About Versailles
And I think that is the thing with Elon Musk and all of these other damp fellows. They don't have the killer instinct of like an old school French atrocity merchant.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: In Honor Of Our New Monarchy, Let's Talk About Versailles
No, no, no. It's just, Musk is trying to couch everything, like, oh, I'm doing this for the betterment of humanity. Louis is just like, we need more fucking children to build my party house. Go, go, go.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: In Honor Of Our New Monarchy, Let's Talk About Versailles
Go, go, go. What are you fucking kidding? They don't make chairs here. Fuck you. You can't leave the country until you fuck more.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: In Honor Of Our New Monarchy, Let's Talk About Versailles
Those are the only projects- It's not built fully yet, or are they just building more of it?
Behind the Bastards
Part One: In Honor Of Our New Monarchy, Let's Talk About Versailles
Yeah, just like there's a side Turk economy, and all of this, again, is to pretty much make sure a big house is built.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: In Honor Of Our New Monarchy, Let's Talk About Versailles
So we're talking about boundaries.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: In Honor Of Our New Monarchy, Let's Talk About Versailles
No consideration that the magic didn't work. It's just that you didn't use effective enough magic.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: In Honor Of Our New Monarchy, Let's Talk About Versailles
And these people are, like, sleep deprived. They stink.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: In Honor Of Our New Monarchy, Let's Talk About Versailles
So they're just, like, insane. Yeah, they're out of their minds. Well, they're already in an altered reality. Because they're living in this world where, like, you can't piss or shit. You can't, like, the wrong person can't hand a shirt. Of course they're open to magic.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: In Honor Of Our New Monarchy, Let's Talk About Versailles
Go to betteroffline.com. Download the podcast. Subscribe to the podcast. Go back. Download every single episode or else.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: In Honor Of Our New Monarchy, Let's Talk About Versailles
And what do you know about Versailles? Oh, alarmingly little. Just the Treaty of Versailles and how well that went.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: In Honor Of Our New Monarchy, Let's Talk About Versailles
Anyway. I truly don't actually know. I just know that they all have sex with each other.
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
If I said that to a doctor, they'd think I had a concussion. You sure would.
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
Yeah, you shouldn't be allowed to drive if you say things like that.
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
But also, they use Digital Twin, which is some enterprise software shit.
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
Yeah. It means so many different things. It means literally a digital representation of anything. It doesn't even mean an AI agent.
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
I've watched it a few times to hate it the amount it deserves.
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
Why? We're just going to play one. Well, I mean, that's what it spat out. Yeah. Oh, my God. If there's three different versions, that's just they saved the product. Fucking hell. Everyone is the same length of shot.
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
I just can't believe we finally have the technology to have three trucks driving somewhere.
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
Raccoons? Why is there a satellite? Are they going to drop the ion cannon on the polar bears?
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
And the way that they move is very weird. It looks kind of right, but kind of right looks very strange. It does.
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
And they move a little bit, but not too much. Like, they're not going anywhere with the movement. It's just, like, they are doing something, and that's it.
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
You think in 10 years they're still going to have these commercials? No. Because where's the snow? There's just Polar Bears walking around, like...
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
No one's watching a Coca-Cola ride and being like, yeah! Wow. I've never had one of these before. Yeah, yeah. It's never a new experience.
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
By the way, I'm sure what you're about to show me looks like a dog's arse.
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
I love when cars go backwards when they're driving forwards.
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
Why is there so many fires? All right, let's take a shot every time the car's on fire.
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
I also want to just say when it swerved in that thing, it was driving like half a mile an hour. Yeah. That's how I run. Yeah.
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
That cop was like he had his arms out. Two cops are chasing... Three cops. Look how they're running.
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
Okay. What is going on with his feet? Wait. Wait.
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
Wow, I'm so glad that we have the technology to do a thing where a guy gets chased by the police.
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
I just want to know about these thousands of generations of script. That is interesting. I am very curious. Because I just don't believe that for a fucking second.
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
By 2030, you'll be able to make a man wear the same clothes for an entire video. This has happened before with Sora. When they put Sora out, they're like, check out Airhead. Oh, my God. And the balloon changes every single shot. It's a different size and color each time. There are just people running in the background sometimes. And then they made a new one.
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
You're like, oh, this is going to be good. It was worse and less consistent. And it... This is what they think of us.
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
It's so cool that this costs, like, so much money as well. Just burning. There was some fucking GPU melting and then... In a data center in Arizona that's draining the local water.
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
And also, the little pigs that watch Star Wars, including myself, they'll notice every minor inconsistency. Do you think that they're going to tolerate Luke Skywalker's and Watto and all their favorite characters?
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
But also, I just want to read out some of the fucking people that use this model. We started working with creatives like Donald Glover, who I said was washed 10 years ago and I'm fucking sick of people. Awaken My Love was a good album.
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
It's a bad song with a great video. Yeah, yeah. I thought his kind of R&B stuff was very interesting. Anyway, moving on.
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
And, of course, The Weekend, and someone called D4VD. Oh, his TV show was great. I'll work with creators on VO1 and form the development of VO2, and we look forward to working with trusted testers and creators to get feedback on this new model. How long are you going to get fucking feedback? It stinks.
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
Oh, it's the end from Metal Gear Solid 3. What's he doing? Playing a concert? Grandad, calm down! I love these slash cuts. There's so many fast cuts. No, these fast cuts are because the next frame was unusable. Yes, actually.
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
I like how also the old man does look very different each time. Very different old man. Yep, that's a different guy. That's a different guy.
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
We'll say he's about to eat the microphone. Completely different. I've done it. Yum.
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
This is the Better Offline bartender. I apologize. I apologize that you had to hit. I would like a drink. I also would like.
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
We are in the Better Offline CES suite and we are all drinking. Because I just want to say I'm fucking disassociating after that. I'm so fucking sick. Every year of doing this nonsense and I look at these shit eaters and they show us that and they're like slurp down the slop. Oh, my God. It's hideous.
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
I think I would rather... Hawk Tour has a more obvious use case than this shit. Hey, do you want to spend way more money to get something way worse? I actually can't get over the 75% check GPT. No, neither can I. Should it be more? No, it should be. Theoretically, it should be. It should be 100%. It should be 100%, yeah. Which means that a quarter... A quarter of it was just fucking unusable.
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
Say that again? Meneminate. What the fuck? Yeah, that's a word. It's like when you find your cats vomited on the floor. Again, so first we see a diner called Meneminate that appears to be both on fire.
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
Great AI voice. What is this Phantasmagoria-esque voice acting?
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
We don't need to watch any more of that. Who is this for?
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
If you watch this and have a positive reaction, they should keep you in a holding cell for a week. I'm deeply unhappy at the time we already spent watching this. We don't know what you're going to do next.
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
Why do you think they think it looks good? It looks better than an Xbox. Yeah. And the idea is you typed a thing in and now a thing came out and that's magical.
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
Can we attach... electrodes to panelists. To people's skulls?
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
But also, to say that is, there's so many things they've said that just, they wouldn't survive a deposition.
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
I would actually believe that was generated with ChatGPT. But, like, GPT 2.0.
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
These people are too fucking smug. Yeah. These people sound too confident and too chummy and too happy to say things like this. That's not good. I don't like these people laughing about people losing jobs. No. They shouldn't have jobs.
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
They have not. Or had structures fall to the beauty of the flame.
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
The thing is, any of these things would be fucking fatal because you have to remove something from a model. How the fuck do we do that? We don't know how to do that. You have to throw away the entire model. You have to retrain. There's no way around it.
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
You know what? This is the fucking problem with all of this, on top of how shit it is and how expensive it is. Which kind of AI are we talking about there, dipshit? That's not generative AI. That's not what that fucking was. And it still sucks.
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
Oh, I love the movies and the future of them too. This is so good. This is so bad.
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
All right. All right, Microsoft. Just once, I'd like on the panel someone to go and say, what the fuck do you mean?
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
Exactly. That's their entire option. Mm-hmm. Somebody has the gun, somebody doesn't. Somebody knows the way the maze works and somebody doesn't.
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
We shouldn't have a maze where I drop them in and one of them knows the maze and they have a gun?
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
Sometimes sunlight creeps in through one of the corners. The Minotaur gets them only sometimes.
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
I'm the Minotaur. Anyway, the gun maze isn't real. But also, most of their arguments mostly just come down to... well, you can't make an omelette without breaking it.
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
oh god all right well that's the episode that's all i got folks that was my first day at ces 2025 huzzah yeah this is just my first day better off lines here all week um i'm gonna hear about stuff like this all week and i think i'm gonna be fully jokified i'm gonna wake up in the clown makeup on friday i'm gonna find the funnest thing to bring back for you i'm gonna find a an artist to put me in full joke no i'm not i'm gonna try to steal that ai enhanced grill yeah
Behind the Bastards
It Could Happen Here Weekly 164
Open the door. Open the door. As someone who's done a lot of grilling, done a lot of spoken barbecue, I don't know what an AI would do. Is it going to talk to me in the six hours?