Dr. Wendasha Jenkins-Hall
Appearances
Today, Explained
Gen Sex
And a lot of times you're focusing on your partner's pleasure as opposed to your own. Heterosexual women tend to be bound by that a little bit more versus queer identifying women or women in the LGBTQ community. Right. So those are conversations that we don't tend to have as much. So, yes, I think we're starting to see more so of a sexual awakening for cis het women. Sexuality is a journey.
Today, Explained
Gen Sex
We are sexual from the womb to the tomb and understanding that who we are sexually when we start having sex, whether that means as a teenager, it's gonna change when you hit your 20s, it's gonna change when you hit your 30s, 40s, 50s and beyond.
Today, Explained
Gen Sex
So a lot of times we are caught up to think that, hey, we should be pleasers or our partners come first or our sexual experiences were great if our partners came. But did you come? So understanding that your pleasure is your responsibility and that we have to learn our bodies, that we have to say, hey, at this point in my life, this is what I like versus this is what I don't like.
Today, Explained
Gen Sex
And be able to communicate that with our partners, because the more comfortable we get to with ourselves, we can better communicate with our partners. And that means that we can have better sex at any age.
Today, Explained
Gen Sex
I am Dr. Wendasha Jenkins-Hall, and I am a human sexuality researcher and educator. My interests deeply are into women's health and sexuality, and really, now that I'm 37, just looking at how our sex and sexuality changes as we age.
Today, Explained
Gen Sex
We're getting the message that we're just no longer valuable sexually, that we're no longer desirable sexually. And we tend to compare the bodies and the experiences of women in our middle age to those that are in their early 20s. And so we get that social and cultural messaging, but also as moving toward menopause. So
Today, Explained
Gen Sex
For those of us who are going that perimenopause, menopausal area that our bodies are going to change. So we're going to be having more problems because our estrogen levels are going down. We're going to be getting hair in crazy places, hot flashes. And so sex is just going to be uncomfortable. So the reality is, yes, bodies are changing.
Today, Explained
Gen Sex
So yes, as we get closer to perimenopause and menopause, yes, estrogen does go down. Yes, we will see those changes with the vagina just due to those hormonal changes. However, that does not necessarily mean that sex just goes away. that we're not going to be desirable, that we're not going to be able to go out and live and have our best sexual lives.
Today, Explained
Gen Sex
Actually, sex for women tends to get better as we age simply because we're more experienced and we know our bodies better and we know what our bodies need and we know what we want and we know what we desire. And so even with those things that are happening to our bodies, we're starting to find ways that work around that. So we're not afraid of lube.
Today, Explained
Gen Sex
We're starting to find ways to adjust with our changing mobility. So sex is not dying. It's just changing and looking different. And that's just something that is not highlighted or something that we don't see happening. in the media, our mainstream culture. So typically when it comes to the vagina, as we get older, if you use it, you don't lose it.
Today, Explained
Gen Sex
And the vagina is a muscle, it's an organ, it's a muscle. So if we use it more often, we can continue to have the best sex of our lives. And when I say have sex, that means partnered and solo, because you don't always have to have a partner to have sex.
Today, Explained
Gen Sex
So but I think just socially and how we're conditioned to understand sex, how we are conditioned to understand pleasure, how we're conditioned to, I would say, our sexual scripts and what, quote unquote, women are supposed to be doing during sex, how we're supposed to be the pleasers. Right. And men are the receivers.