Dr. Sarah Wakeman

I think the first thing you can do if you're a loved one is just share your worries, not in a way that blames the person, not in a way that's judgmental, but in a loving way, just like you would about anything else with someone's health, that this is what you've observed. This is why you're worried. Explore what the person thinks.

And that becomes really important because when it comes to addiction, it really doesn't matter at all why I think someone should make changes to their alcohol use. The only thing that matters is they think their life will get better in some way. And so really starting to sort of untangle what are this person's goals and how is alcohol getting in the way of them reaching it? That becomes the work.

And that becomes really important because when it comes to addiction, it really doesn't matter at all why I think someone should make changes to their alcohol use. The only thing that matters is they think their life will get better in some way. And so really starting to sort of untangle what are this person's goals and how is alcohol getting in the way of them reaching it? That becomes the work.

And that becomes really important because when it comes to addiction, it really doesn't matter at all why I think someone should make changes to their alcohol use. The only thing that matters is they think their life will get better in some way. And so really starting to sort of untangle what are this person's goals and how is alcohol getting in the way of them reaching it? That becomes the work.

And a partner can be a wonderful mirror for that. You know, I know you're working towards a promotion at work and you mentioned that you had to call it sick twice this week and your boss is frustrated at you. What do you think about that? So really exploring it.

And a partner can be a wonderful mirror for that. You know, I know you're working towards a promotion at work and you mentioned that you had to call it sick twice this week and your boss is frustrated at you. What do you think about that? So really exploring it.

And a partner can be a wonderful mirror for that. You know, I know you're working towards a promotion at work and you mentioned that you had to call it sick twice this week and your boss is frustrated at you. What do you think about that? So really exploring it.

And ultimately, you're sort of empowering the person to feel like they can make a change and that you're supporting them, but you're not forcing it on them, which is often what people feel caught up in having to do.

And ultimately, you're sort of empowering the person to feel like they can make a change and that you're supporting them, but you're not forcing it on them, which is often what people feel caught up in having to do.

And ultimately, you're sort of empowering the person to feel like they can make a change and that you're supporting them, but you're not forcing it on them, which is often what people feel caught up in having to do.

I think people have heard these notions of like tough love, enabling, hitting bottom. Those are probably the biggest fallacies. So for people who aren't familiar with those concepts, the idea that tough love is that like you really should make things hard on a person that if sort of consequences pile up, the person will ultimately get better.

I think people have heard these notions of like tough love, enabling, hitting bottom. Those are probably the biggest fallacies. So for people who aren't familiar with those concepts, the idea that tough love is that like you really should make things hard on a person that if sort of consequences pile up, the person will ultimately get better.

I think people have heard these notions of like tough love, enabling, hitting bottom. Those are probably the biggest fallacies. So for people who aren't familiar with those concepts, the idea that tough love is that like you really should make things hard on a person that if sort of consequences pile up, the person will ultimately get better.

Enabling is the idea that you're kind or caring to someone that you're actually hurting them in some way. And hitting bottom is this idea that people have to just fall so far and suffer some terrible consequence before they make a change. Those are all really problematic concepts for a couple of reasons.

Enabling is the idea that you're kind or caring to someone that you're actually hurting them in some way. And hitting bottom is this idea that people have to just fall so far and suffer some terrible consequence before they make a change. Those are all really problematic concepts for a couple of reasons.

Enabling is the idea that you're kind or caring to someone that you're actually hurting them in some way. And hitting bottom is this idea that people have to just fall so far and suffer some terrible consequence before they make a change. Those are all really problematic concepts for a couple of reasons.

So first of all, the definition of alcohol use disorder is not being able to stop despite bad things happening to you. And many people are drinking because it's a powerful coping mechanism. And some of the things that put you at risk for an alcohol use disorder are traumatic life experiences, untreated anxiety and depression, not feeling good about yourself.

So first of all, the definition of alcohol use disorder is not being able to stop despite bad things happening to you. And many people are drinking because it's a powerful coping mechanism. And some of the things that put you at risk for an alcohol use disorder are traumatic life experiences, untreated anxiety and depression, not feeling good about yourself.

So first of all, the definition of alcohol use disorder is not being able to stop despite bad things happening to you. And many people are drinking because it's a powerful coping mechanism. And some of the things that put you at risk for an alcohol use disorder are traumatic life experiences, untreated anxiety and depression, not feeling good about yourself.

So having the only people that you sort of love and trust in your life try to cut you down to size and tell you that you're doing something terrible and set some ultimatum is actually not going to help you get well. None of us make hard changes when we feel threatened or sort of punished or not supported. We do it when we feel loved and safe and have hope that our life could be better.