Dr. Peter Bajic
Appearances
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
ask you you may not get so don't don't be scared to bring these things up because you know so many of us in medicine at all levels have families and have been through this stuff so not a sign of weakness to say you know what i really want to take some time off to be with my kid you know i don't want to be regretting this 10 20 years from now
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
So I feel super blessed and spoiled to say that we have double grandmas in town. So I grew up in Cleveland. So my folks were super excited to have us back. And then when our first daughter was born, In 2021, my mother-in-law actually moved because she didn't really, everybody in her immediate family had moved out of Chicago.
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
And she said, you know what, I just want to be close to my first grandkids. So that was kind of our childcare at the beginning. And then when we realized that at our parents' age, which our parents are a little bit older, it was difficult. physically a little bit more, I think, demanding than could be handled by them for as many hours as we needed a week, we actually decided to get an au pair.
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
We had our first au pair from Spain, which was a great experience. You kind of have to have the right living situation for it because obviously they're living with you. Depending on the au pair, some of them can be very involved in your life, which is kind of what we wanted. We wanted to
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
have that experience and give that visitor to this country, the cultural experience of being part of an American family. So we now are on our second au pair because usually they stay depending on what they want, either one year or two years. Both of our families are originally from the former Yugoslavia, so Serbia, essentially.
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
And we decided because both of us are pretty relatively bad at speaking our
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
native language that we wanted to have somebody an au pair from over there to help teach our kids so this year we we had an au pair from montenegro which speaks the same language and um so it's been good i mean that's basically our like regular child care and then our moms kind of fill in the gaps and i have a cousin who has a daughter that's a senior in high school that kind of pinch hits when we're out of town and need an additional person but we've been very lucky that we have a lot of
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
help in the area. There are certainly certain interesting dynamics that are involved when family is regularly involved in childcare. I think they're much more, much less likely to listen to what we want as parents when they're in volunteers and when they think they know best, which is I think moms in general. But certainly I think the pluses outweigh the minuses.
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
Maybe they get a little more screen time when Graham was around and things like that, but we manage and, um, I think the au pair program is really interesting. I mean, I think cost effectiveness wise, I think it's really great. I think it's an interesting experience to just get to know somebody from another country. But we've been very lucky.
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
I think that sometimes you don't really know what you're going to get. And next thing you know, somebody is like living in your house. And I think that can be difficult. But thankfully, like I said, we've been lucky that we've liked both of ours so far. And I think we're going to continue with this for the time being.
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
I mean, I think you really have to outsource what you can within reason. Like probably the best quality of life investment we've made is getting a cleaning lady. I don't know the last time I cleaned a toilet. It's just like little stuff like that, that, you know, when you find a good one and a good person that, you know, works well for what your needs are, I think it's really priceless.
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
So, you know, there's a lot there to unpack. I think like, depending on what kind of house you have, like we have a very old house, so I have to have a lot of
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
contractors that manage various things I have my HVAC guy I have my gutters guy and all sorts of different things so I grew up as kind of the mentality of just do it all yourself and you don't need anybody but realistically as you progress in your career your time becomes more valuable and
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
more valuable to others when they use your time but even more valuable to yourself when you need that time to decompress and spend time with your kids spend time with your partner so you could spend your weekends and evenings doing housework and doing you know various things but um you know you have to figure out what the best mix is for you of like what sorts of things you want to outsource and what sorts of things you actually get joy out of doing yourself i learned the hard way when we
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
we're in training and wanted to do some renovations around our apartment and redo all of our floors i was just like oh yeah i know how to do it myself i'll just do it myself and i ended up spending like a year just destroying my hands every day and like it was like i think never again you know now with kids in the picture it's like i would rather spend that time like reading up books putting them to bed and not stressing about this so
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
Yeah. I mean, that's been kind of our approach and certainly very early on. And especially if you have a lot of debt and stuff, it might not be as feasible to outsource everything. But I think if you're selective and figure out what are the things you hate doing the most and hire somebody to do them, then it might free up some time to do some of the things you enjoy that might refill your cup.
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
I think it takes a team. It takes a village to raise kids. It takes a team to be a urologist. It takes a team to be a dad or a mom.
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
You have to kind of like figure out that way to compliment one another with respect to your professional duties. Like we've tried to create our schedules in such a way that like we're not having our busiest OR days in the same day. You know, like on her big OR day, that's my admin research day. So I like have a lot of flexibility then.
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
And on my OR, you know, the night before my OR day, that's her admin time. Yeah. We kind of figured out a way where like we have a little bit more flexibility that we don't have to both be out the door like super, super early each day. So our repair usually starts at seven.
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
So usually there's one of us that can kind of like linger a little bit if needed because our kids tend to wake up at like the butt crack of dawn every day. That way one can just focus on what they need to do if it's an OR day and the other can kind of like figure out the kids.
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
Yeah, we tried to schedule some childcare for Friday nights, and that's usually our date night. So we've tried to do a good job of that. I actually, so when the kids were, I mean, my kids are still small, but when they were even smaller and they were both napping, which now our older does not nap anymore. That was like my time, our time. So they would go for their nap. I would go to the gym.
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
That was like my Saturday, Sunday thing. And then when the older one stopped napping. It was kind of like came to a screeching halt. So I'm in denial because I'm somebody who likes historically has liked to sleep. Although as a parent, I've become like a super light, not great sleeper. But I know at some point I just need to like wake up really early and go work out.
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
But I'm currently in my denial phase and not really doing super great about working out. And I think it's important to just like cut yourself some slack, you know, especially early on in your parenting journey, because it is hard and I'm always like getting upset that like, oh, I don't work out. I need to like get back to my this, get back to my that.
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
But you just kind of have to like slowly figure it out and support one another. And we try to, when possible, cover each other's backs from the child care aspect on weekends so the other one can go and get a little workout in or do something for themselves. And you just have to be willing to support one another and support.
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
not prioritize one's needs more than the other and figure out how to give the other person what they need if it's a break or just like an hour away from the kids or once you go do some shopping i'll watch them or whatever
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
I would work out literally every day.
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
So my wife is an ophthalmologist also at Cleveland Clinic. She focuses primarily on cataract surgery and cosmetics. And we have a two year old girl or sorry, a three year old girl and a one year old girl.
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
I think it's so important that we not only look at ourselves and what we can do to promote our own careers, but how can we help and support our partner to advance themselves? And I think that it's easy to kind of look at...
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
the competing needs of both careers is kind of like well i did this thing for my partner and they owe this thing for me but like it's it's it's not a competition i think like the better way to approach is just to always look at like how can you support that person and how can you you know help them meet whatever the needs of their career are so i mean that's the approach that i've
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
taken and i think like thankfully i'm blessed that my wife takes the the same approach so we're always just trying to like figure out just just like katie said we have to be aware of each other's schedules and the needs are and we have kind of our family dry erase calendar and the kitchen that we're always updating and making sure everybody knows like you know are we gonna need the
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
au pair to work late or we're gonna need grandma to come and help out because we both have something or who's gonna kind of be putting the kids to bed this night so i mean i do think it's it's very much a team effort and there's gonna be times where one is being stretched more thin than the other and you really need to know when you need to provide additional support and there's going to be times where both are being stretched i think that's where you need to rely on your village whether it's your nannies and your babysitters or your au pair your grandma's for us or whatever it is
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
And I think one of the things that's kind of made it at least a little more fun for us is to try to engage one another and in our respective friend groups for various meetings and professional colleagues. Like next week, I'm going to Hawaii for an ophthalmology meeting with my wife and both of our kids and I'm going to be the child care.
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
And I know like a lot of her colleagues already and I'm going to go golfing with some ophthalmologists. Yeah. She comes to our meetings and has gotten to know Helen and a lot of our other colleagues in the field. So I think the work-life balance sometimes can be a little bit of a fallacy. I do believe in more of the work-life integration.
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
You have to kind of be willing to, especially if you're both in medicine and understand that aspect, I think it's going to be a little easier to do so. But just integrating those aspects of your life, it makes it feel a little bit less painful to separate one from the other. And you don't really feel like you're devoting your attention to only one.
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
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BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
So we actually met when I was an intern at In Chicago at Loyola. And she was a fourth year med student there. We had a mutual friend that connected us. So we've been married now for almost nine years. But actually, because she was ophthalmology, she finished her residency. I started residency first and then she finished med school, started residency, finished residency.
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
Got a job, worked for a couple of years, and I was like still in residency because urology. So she was actually working for a couple of years. I was going to do general urology, private practice with a focus in men's health. That was what I wanted to do. And it wasn't until my research year, which for us was late. It was a PGY-5 that I kind of got like really excited about. research.
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
And I was like, you know what? I want to do academics. I want to teach. I want to do research. And then one of my mentors was like, if you want to do men's health, you should probably do a fellowship. So one more year in Chicago for a fellowship. And then ultimately I got this great job at Cleveland Clinic. And so that kind of brought us back to Cleveland. My wife was from Chicago.
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
So really, it did kind of like uproot her from her job. And we thankfully were able to secure a great job for her here. So that was kind of the story about how we got from meeting to where we are now. It was definitely some tough decisions.
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
She had never lived anywhere but Chicago before, but we both kind of agreed that at that phase of our career to have an opportunity to be in a really prestigious institution and have a lot of opportunity. One of my mentors once told me that fish always grow to the size of the tank. So get yourself in as big of a tank as possible and seize the opportunities that you have.
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
And it really, I think, paid dividends for both of us. So That was kind of the story about that as far as finances and stuff. I mean, I would say in our relationship, like we definitely both try to gravitate or actually, you know, go towards some of the tasks and responsibilities that we have based on like what our strengths are. Like I would say I'm probably more of like the.
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
finance money guy so i try to just kind of like manage as much of that as possible and obviously loop her in as much as i can but you know i try to be a little bit more in charge of that stuff and she's got other things that she takes the lead on so i think it's really important to find that balance and and find ways to support each other so there's not like too much being disproportionately dumped on one partner
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
Yeah, I mean, I think it's really hard to find the right fit or even to know what the thing is that you're looking for when you're first getting started. I think that for me, it was kind of finding a leader that I felt like I could really jive with and align with that would support me and was invested.
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
And also feeling like the group of those I'd be working most closely with are people that I'm going to get along with, because obviously you're going to spend a lot of time with these people. And I think we were really lucky that Cleveland Clinic had great teams and leaders and departments in both of our specialties.
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
And it was highly convenient that the chair of urology at the time was married to one of the ophthalmologists in the same institution, which is what my wife's obviously specialty is. So that was kind of an easy way, at least to initiate that conversation. You know, their chair was like super supportive. They actually, they didn't have a job or a role and they kind of had like created one for her.
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
And it was just, I think a great opportunity for her. She was very motivated and, you know, really created a great practice and a niche for herself and her own department. So. Yeah, I think that worked out well for us. It's those kinds of opportunities are rare and I think don't necessarily can't always necessarily find those.
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
So I think you just have to like communicate very well and figure out like what's the best situation for your family. Another thing that we definitely took into consideration as we were considering other jobs in the area because we knew we wanted to have kids was the parental leave and Cleveland Clinic had just implemented. They were like one of the first that implemented like three months of
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
Maturity leave one month for the other parents. So I think honestly, like for us, I don't know how we would have done it without that. We're blessed to have our parents nearby, but still it was very important for us to have that time with not only with our kids, but also to support one another early on and, you know, having kids and everything. It's just a lot.
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
Everybody has different things that are priorities and that they value and are important and what you look for in your first job may not be what you need down the road several years later, but we were very lucky and I feel very blessed for that.
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
I mean, I think it's like so important to just for those of us that are working at a place that feels so large. And I think it can feel very much like you're just kind of a cog in the wheel. But I do think that this goes back to like having a supportive leader or having a good working relationship with your chair or, you know, leader of your practice or whatever it is.
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
I think sometimes like even when you feel like you're kind of bound by these, I don't know, unmovable walls that maybe sometimes they're more movable than that you might realize, or that there might be ways around certain things. So definitely just like in a relationship, good communication is so important.
BackTable Urology
Ep. 213 Dual Physician Households: Managing Parenthood and Careers with Dr. Katie Amin and Dr. Petar Bajic
I think like being willing to have those kinds of conversations with sometimes could be difficult with your, with your chair or whoever it is, uh, is so important. And if you don't, the squeaky wheel gets the grease. If you don't,