Dr. Michelle Rozen
Appearances
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
Hi, Mike. I'm so glad to be here.
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
People struggle with setting goals because they're not doing it the right way. And nobody ever teaches you, Mike, how to do it. So what they do is, you know, we're always told, oh, you should have a list of goals. And that's considered to be like advanced. You just don't have them in your head. You have a list.
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
But what actually happens is that setting a goal and automating that new behavior in the human brain It's not easy. It's a process. And so when people set too many goals, the brain gets overwhelmed and the brain says, I don't know how to do all these new things at once. I mean, you started the year, you have like these 10 things that you want to change. And so people get overwhelmed.
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
They drop the whole thing.
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
On January 2023, I surveyed, after being so many years in the space and the field of change, I surveyed 1,000 people all over the US. And all of them, like so many of us, said, oh, yeah, I'm going to do all these amazing things. And I'm going to lose the weight. I'm going to save more money. I'll be more present with my team. I'm going to do better with my business.
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
I'll spend more time with my kids, whatever their goal was. And what I found out was that no matter what category, no matter what it is that those people wanted to do, 94% of the people surveyed dropped their goals within the first 60 days.
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
One of the things that the 6%ers do differently is they pick one goal at the time for 30 days and do only that. So rather than trying to do this and this and this and that, overwhelm your brain, drop the whole thing. They say, okay, for the next 30 days, I'm going to go to the gym every day at six o'clock. Repeat, repeat, repeat for 30 days. It automates that new behavior in the brain.
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
Then they pick another goal. Then they pick another. The domino effect of rather than overwhelming yourself with a lot of things, getting overwhelmed, drop the whole thing. How do you get really specific and granular and nail down those new habits one at a time every 30 days?
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
So think about it this way, Mike. Let's say that the beginning of the year you had, I'm just going to come up with a random number. You had 12 goals for yourself. And let's say, because you're talking about what happens if I drop the ball, which happens to so many people, because you know what? We're human. We're not machines. We're not robots. Life gets in the way.
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
And it can be that you couldn't go to the gym or it could be that you wanted to save this much money every month and you had this whole system or every week. And then a big expense came, something. Life happens. And so what the six percenters do differently is they say, OK, instead of saying, OK, I have 12 goals, get overwhelmed, drop the whole thing. Let's say that they have 12 goals.
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
They kill them one at the time, nail them one at the time. And let's say that in the course of the year, Mike, you dropped your goal. You dropped the ball on... Four things. You were still able to automate eight different new healthy behaviors in the course of the year. That's a huge amount of change. Now think about year two. Now think about year three. That's a transformation.
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
So the system is very simple. The system says, hey, you dropped the ball on something that you wanted to do. Don't beat yourself up. Don't be hard on yourself. All you need to do is go back to the beginning line.
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
Yeah. Yeah. I love how you bring that up, Mike, because, you know, sometimes the things that frustrate us, when people talk about goals, they think, oh, big, you know, I'm going to change the world. No, no, no. Most of people have goals that start from very everyday things, you know, and that's the right place to start. You start with the small things and you start building those new habits.
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
You start practicing what the six percenters do differently. And so back to the point that you're bringing up, it's such a good point because, you know, One of the things that the six percenters do differently is that instead of relying on their willpower, which is what you're doing, you're relying on your willpower to remember to put the keys away when you come into the house.
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
But you get distracted and there are other things that are happening. So rather than relying on their willpower, they manipulate their environment. That means that either you set a reminder on your phone or you move where that jar is so that it reminds you. Or you put a piece of paper on the floor so that as soon as you come in, there's a piece of paper, a note that says, put the keys in the jar.
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
Do you see what I'm saying? So...
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
you know we spend a lot of energy there's a tendency to spend a lot of energy on relying on our willpower oh i'm not gonna you know eat late at night or i'm not gonna forget to drink water or i you know or i won't forget to put my keys away but willpower is very flimsy you know if you're tired hungry you had a bad day it's just not there anymore so instead of relying on their willpower the six percenters manipulate their environment i bet if you had a sign on the floor when you open the door or on the wall in front of you that said
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
Put keys away in the jar. You did that for 30 days. After 30 days, it's automated in your brain. The door opens. You're like, oh, yeah, I got to put the keys in the jar. I've done that before. I have that neural pathway in my brain.
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
Everybody wants to be healthier. People want to have better relationships. There's a lot of pain around loneliness and relationships. I noticed that in the research. And money. People want to have more money, do better financially. So at the end of the day, everybody wants to live better.
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
And there's a tremendous amount of pain in the world, especially these days, with people that want things, with their relationships, with their money, with their health. And they keep dropping the ball. And a lot of times people ask me, oh, you know, Michelle, how do I why do I lack confidence? How do I get more confident? And, you know, Mike, confidence breeds success. Success breeds confidence.
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
And what's nice about the six percent club is that. You start from the little things, you automate them, you know, you start small and it works. And then you say to yourself, wow, this is really cool. I am putting the keys away. I am going to the gym every day. This is so cool. Let me pick a bigger goal.
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
And you follow the same methodology and it's not complicated and it's not overwhelming and it works. So then your confidence grows. You know, you say to yourself, oh my gosh, I'm so cool. Yeah. I did it. Let me pick a bigger goal. And so there's an accumulating effect of generating those successes, you know, one after the other, one after the other. Start small. It gets big over time.
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
And so in that respect, it's a process of becoming. You become, you know, a 6%. Or a lot of people come to me and they say, you know what, Michelle, I'm going to be a 6%.
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
and i know that it's possible because it's very underwhelming it's really not complicated it's just a different approach to creating a list and doing all those things and you know overwhelming yourself so take if you can take a couple of those things you said that people want to live better so they want more money they want to be healthy and and create a a common goal and how do you put your toe in the water
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
I'll give you a real-life example. Last week. So last week, I'm giving a keynote. One of the attendees goes up to the stage. And she shared that her goal is to eat healthier. She's telling the audience, I'm working with a new coach at the gym. And I want to eat healthier. And the coach also said that I need to eat healthier, but I can't do it.
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
You know, every time I say I'm going to eat healthier and it's not working out for me. And the coach is a little annoyed with me and I don't know what to do. So what we did together, I said to her, listen, eating healthier is very overwhelming because what does that even mean?
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
You know, if for the last 30 days, 30 days, 30 years, you're used to eating in a certain way, your brain gets so overwhelmed. Like, what do you mean eat? What does that even mean? Drops the whole thing. So I said, for the next 30 days, all you're gonna do is just change your lunch. That's all you're gonna focus on. I don't care what you eat for the rest of the day. You're gonna do that.
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
You're gonna automate it. After you automate it for 30 days, once you hit the 30 days mark, it's automated in your brain. Now, just change your snack.
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
And I said, if you look at the next six months, your likelihood of succeeding in changing your eating habits in the next six months, if you follow that methodology versus I'm going to eat healthier, get overwhelmed, drop the whole thing is incredibly higher. And that's how you reach transformation.
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
But let's take just what you said, Mike. I love that because that was so specific and granular, right? I call that the law of specification. So you were just super specific. You said $5 every day, right? So if you said for the next 30 days, all I need to do is every day, I need to transfer $5 into this saving account. Super simple.
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
Problem is, like you said, people are like, oh, you know, I was busy today. I didn't do it. I don't know if it's even going to work. But that's the goal you set for yourself. The first thing you do, you manipulate your environment. So you set a reminder on your phone every day at the same time.
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
What do I do at 545? I transfer $5 into my savings account. And so that's how you use. It's a specific goal. It's very attainable. All you need to do is automate it. And then it becomes a habit. And then you can say, you know what? Second month, I'm going to transfer $10 into my savings account every day at 545. So you do that. And so over time, you get yourself into habits that build you.
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
And you can do that in every single aspect of your life. It's simple. It's specific, it's doable, and it's a lot more attainable than to say, I'm going to save so much more money this year. You know, definitely going to do it. Get overwhelmed. The brain doesn't even know what it means. Drop the whole thing. So much more attainable, so much simpler.
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
Exactly. Exactly. And that's what your brain says. Your brain says, I don't know what you mean. You know, think about it this way, Mike. The brain takes about 20% of the overall body energy. So the brain is very costly to the body in terms of energy. 20% is a lot. And it's 20% just to do what you know how to do already, just to live.
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
Every time you ask your brain to do something different, to start a new habit, You're asking for a lot. And so your brain would prefer to do what it knows how to do already. So if you say every time, oh, yeah, I'm going to save so much more money and you don't do it. The next time you say it, your brain would say, can we just can we just do that? Can we just like drop the whole thing?
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
Because that's what you I have a neural pathway for that. If you want to curb your brain's tendency to pull you towards your old habits, the only way you can do that is by using what I call the law of specification, which means you get really specific and granular. Don't just say, I'm gonna save more money. Get as specific and as granular as possible. So you say, I'm gonna save $5 a day.
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
I'm gonna save $100 a month. I'm gonna do that every last day of the month. Whatever it is that your plan is, Be as specific and as granular as possible. Otherwise, I promise you, your brain will prefer, just for saving energy purposes, to pull you towards your old ways. And that's not what you want.
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
There's nothing wrong with setting big goals. Nothing wrong. I love setting big goals. I set big goals for myself. I think that big goals are exciting. As long as you take whatever goals and whatever goal you have for yourself, you don't owe anyone an explanation why you want to save $5 or why you want to save $1,000 or why you want to take, doesn't matter. It has to be important for you.
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
And I have a tool for that, but it's called a zero to 10 rule. And the zero to 10 rule is a tool for a lot of things. But one of the things that it measures is how much you care about something, right? So if you don't really care, I asked my daughter the other day, my youngest one, my 16 year old, you know, she said she's not going to the gym as much as she thought she would.
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
And I said, how much do you care about it? Zero to 10. That's the zero to 10 rule. And she said, actually, four. So I said, well, that's why you're not going. It's not important enough for you. So no matter what your goal are, make sure it doesn't matter big or small. You don't owe anyone an explanation.
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
Make sure that it's a 10 for you, which means something that you really feel very strongly about. Because if it's not a 10 for you, you're not going to care enough to make the effort. And so you pick something that's a 10 for you. It can be big. It can be small, no matter what it is. And you go for it and you manipulate your environment. You get really specific and granular.
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
It's not complicated, super practical. And whatever it is that you want for yourself, go ahead and do it because it's in your hands. You don't have to be the kind of person that talks about goals, gets overwhelmed, drops the whole thing. Whatever your goals are, you can get there. You just have to use the right methodology.
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
You don't care about the statistics. You care about yourself. And whatever it is that you want to do, you can do. A lot of people stop smoking and they just decide that it's a 10 for them and they go for it. A lot of people do amazing things with weight or amazing things with health because it's a 10 for them. It doesn't matter what the... Don't look at the statistics.
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
It doesn't matter what other people do. And it's not a matter of remembering to do it. It's a matter of manipulating your environment to do it and being very specific. So... If you don't look to the left, don't look to the right, don't look at people on social media, don't look at the numbers, look at yourself. What do you really want to do that is really important for you right now that is a 10?
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
Get specific, get granular, and know that you can do it. It doesn't matter what other people can and cannot do.
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
that's amazing. That's wonderful. As long as that someone supports you. So there's going to be people around you. And we do talk about the people that surround you. There's going to be people around you that you will tell you that you can't do it. Well, you need to do is focus and follow the methodology and it's going to generate success. So surround yourself with people that support you.
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
And then if you have those people as a support system, as accountability buddies, it's amazing because it's going to make you stronger. So mind the people that surround you and make sure that you surround yourself with people that support you, uplift you and share your optimistic and justified crushing your goals.
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
So let's apply the zero to 10 rule here. It's not going to work. It's not going to work because you don't care enough. If you really care about something, you're going to do amazing at getting there. You just need the right methodology. But if you don't care enough, you just don't care enough. You've got to have a sit down with yourself and ask yourself, what do I really want?
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
What is a 10 for me right now? And you don't owe anyone an explanation for why your 10 is your 10. But whatever that 10 is, go get it.
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
Thank you so much, Mike.
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
We would move down to the West Indies to form a lesbian nation. Meg Christen coined the phrase women's music, but she would have liked to say it was lesbian music. And that's kind of the origins of the Common Behavioral Collective.
Something You Should Know
The Origins of Christmas Traditions & A Simple Way to Achieve Important Goals
And I have a tool for that, but it's called a zero to ten rule. So no matter what your goal are, make sure that it's a ten for you, which means something that you really feel very strongly about. Because if it's not a ten for you, you're not going to care enough to make the effort.