Dr. Dawn Hughes
Appearances
The Trial of Diddy
A Marvel Supervillain
So when we are hit, harmed, beat up, the normal human emotion that gets arisen is fear. We feel scared and it's very hard to take that fear away once you've been hit. So what happens is the victim, the brain organizes around that fear and that fear is now organized around the relationship. So they're always sort of walking on eggshells, trying not to do something to get hit.
The Trial of Diddy
A Marvel Supervillain
Fear is also a very debilitating emotion. When you feel anxiety sort of butterflies in your stomach, that's the low level fear. When you feel like, oh my gosh, I'm going to die on this roller coaster, that's the high-level fear.
The Trial of Diddy
A Marvel Supervillain
So if you're in high-level arousal and high-level fear, you're not really able to start thinking about these other big-deal things on your plate that you have to do, like leaving an abusive relationship.
The Trial of Diddy
A Marvel Supervillain
Sexual abuse is so inherently damaging. It's a very private harm. and very much debilitates a person's psychological functioning. Sexual abuse is one of the highest types of traumatic stressors that we know can result in PTSD. They experience a tremendous amount of shame, humiliation, degradation. They don't want to talk about it. They don't even want to think about it in their own brain.
The Trial of Diddy
A Marvel Supervillain
They don't want to hear it come out of their mouth. And if it's something you can't even talk about, these unspeakable acts, It prevents them from getting the help to get out of that relationship.
The Trial of Diddy
A Marvel Supervillain
That's very important. You need the psychological resources to leave, but you also need the tangible resources to leave. What we see in a lot of these situations of domestic violence, there's a lot of financial controls. So if you don't have access to tangible resources, money or an apartment, you're left with the feeling of where am I going to go? Am I stuck here?
The Trial of Diddy
A Marvel Supervillain
It's like a slot machine. You press the button. You're going to lose most of the time. But when you hit it, that's the feeling you want. And you keep going back because you want that good feeling. They want that good partner that they got, fell in love with, and that becomes an immense trauma bond.