DJ Shipley
👤 PersonPodcast Appearances
I had a lot of emotional stuff happen to me in that second deployment.
When the whole thing first started, John Shank and Bonnie Cohen reached out about doing the film In Ways and War.
They actually kind of tricked me to be a part of it.
They told me that Marcus and Amber were spearheading this project.
So I was like, if Marcus and Amber and I'm in, I owe them anyway.
They saved me.
I'm into it.
That wasn't really the case.
They spearheaded me.
I'm on board.
And then they convinced Marcus and Amber to join on board.
And now it's essentially his whole story, unfiltered, unbiased, my whole story, and then us going back for my buddy, Matty, and how all our lives are entangled in teams and just all the trauma we all share and how we're all getting through it.
You know, it kills addiction in one shot, which is crazy.
People are addicted to heroin.
Like, I dipped Copenhagen for 17 years.
Never wanted to quit.
I woke up the very next morning from Ibogaine and never had a dip since.
That's so wild.
And I want to dip.
Like, I miss it.
And as soon as I smell it, I can't do it.
It's like, I didn't drink coffee for six months.
It's like, I want to drink coffee.
And then I have no desire.
My energy levels are through the roof.
Like, everything is better.
I kind of just want to be normal again.
It's like slow but surely introduce coffee and whatever else.
But you have no addictions.
And I was at the bottom of the barrel.
I mean, I was taking extreme doses of gabapentin.
Tramadol, Toradol, everything else.
And, you know, Tramadol is not habit forming.
Take it for 12 years and tell me it's not.
It most certainly is.
And to be able to whitewash all of that gone in one shot.
I mean, the doctors, I was never getting off those meds.
Like, if you want to function in society, you have to take these medications for the rest of your life.
And I was fine with it.
I'm totally good.
And then on the backside, you see that it doesn't matter if I was drinking a 12-pack a day or if I was just popping these 60 pills, I was under the influence of something all day, every day for 15 years.
That's not how I want to be.
It's not how I want to live my next 40 years.
It's like it's really put me in a position where I'm so hyper aware of everything that I input and then everything that I output.
It gives you complete control.
And I think some guys just need that breath of fresh air.
They need that instant relief to go, okay.
okay, I can live with this now.
And if you just keep living that positive lifestyle, it'll become your new norm, right?
But you have to really want to change.
For me, I've never found anything that powerful in my life.
Because a lot of guys are scared.
They're scared about going down to Mexico and whatever it is.
There's a 25-person staff in that house with you.
Three paramedics, three RNs.
They got cardiac cert.
They have everybody in there.
The chefs in there are amazing.
Michelin star quality, the food you eat, and there's indoor swimming pools.
There's a Reiki lady in there that will crack your soul open in 15 seconds flat.
I never thought Reiki was a thing until she puts her hands on you.
the massage therapy, the breath work.
I mean, it's a whole holistic approach, but because you've never just, you've never allowed yourself to be vulnerable in that position.
And once you are, they just start to unravel you so fast.
And that medicine's really the catalyst for the whole thing.
And once you see what you can be, like I can be the same guy that I was, now I can just control him.
I think that's what a lot of guys lose when they leave the team.
It's like, well, I've built myself into this because of that.
Well, I can't take that with me.
So what do I do with this?
My wife doesn't want this.
I don't want this.
My kids can't build a relationship with this.
What am I supposed to do now?
And that's when people make those rash decisions.
They don't know where to go.
And I think that's what's so powerful to medicine is that's the only thing stronger than the ego you've built up, purpose built, is that medicine.
Yeah, it changed my life for sure.
It's been great.
You gotta leave me alone.
And I tell people, I'm not trained to do this.
I'm a normal dude, so I'm really susceptible to negative energy, and they know better.
You're exactly right.
When you say psychedelics, everybody automatically labels it a certain way.
And one of the best quotes I've ever heard is, we gave Ibogaine to my buddy Matty, and he woke up the next day and he goes,
There is nothing recreational about that.
Don't slam me with something negative before I have to turn that microphone on, because I'm not gonna be able to compartmentalize it all the way.
There isn't.
Terrifying.
Some people wake up and it's bliss the entire time, and I'm so glad you have that.
But if you were laying in Stanford right now, and you gave me Ibogaine, hooked up the heart rate monitors you were running to study, they wouldn't bat an eye at it.
Like, oh, yeah, it's the same thing.
You have the same people around you.
They're taking detailed notes.
Everything you say, I mean—
this, you might as well be at a clinic.
It's in a beautiful house, beautiful staff and the entire thing, but that's what it is.
This is a treatment.
This is not a bunch of guys eating, smoking, doing whatever, peyote in the middle of the desert.
It's not what that is.
This is a very structured thing because you have some serious trauma.
I think a lot of people label it like, oh, this is for guys with PTSD.
I didn't go down there for PTSD.
I went down there for whatever I've turned into.
I was trying to get rid of that.
And I'll tell you before,
Nothing in my military career has ever come up.
None of it.
That's not what haunts me.
I need to be the best version of me right now, so wait till I'm done, and then deliver the bad news.
That's not what plagues me at night.
It's not what keeps me up till 2, 3 in the morning.
That's not that.
And I've resolved all the things that was troubling me.
And it's because that medicine is so powerful.
I just hope more people will get a hold of it.
And I think if we had the right people putting out the right message on the right platforms, people, they get a hold of it.
So many people want to hear hate speech.
Negativity goes a lot more than positivity a lot of times because people hang on to that.
It's like, you know, I read something they were talking about the best public speakers in human history and Hitler was in the top five.
And they're like, well, just imagine if he was preaching positivity.
He could have turned that entire country and really given them something to hang on to.
And she's the same way.
He just didn't.
And you wish that he would have been preaching the gospel.
You wish he would have been preaching love and kindness for all of humanity.
And then what would have happened in World War II?
She's an absolute gangster.
Wouldn't happen.
And she knows.
She's like, hey, when you get done today, we got to talk.
I'm like, what is it?
And she's like, nothing bad.
It'll definitely be something bad.
But she doesn't even give me an inkling because she knows it'll rob me of bandwidth.
She's like, go do what you do.
As soon as you get done, we'll talk.
And on that 20-minute walk, she'll drop it.
But now we're here.
I'm in a clear headspace.
I've had a productive day.
I really do.
They've been spending a lot of time in the Beltway getting funding, you know, clinical trials, research, doing the entire thing.
And they've got a whole coalition now.
Navy SEAL Foundation stepped up.
We've had a great 10 minutes into this.
Green Beret Foundation, I think,
Maybe the Recon Foundation and Wounded Warrior Project, they all came to a coalition.
They're all going to get behind this and all kind of push the exact same message.
Let's get the funding.
Let's get the research.
Let's prove that it works and hopefully bring it to the U.S.
Like we have to start with the veterans because it's a smaller population, less than 1% of the population.
Now hit me with the bad news.
Let's target them.
Let's get first responders and let's open this thing up.
And, you know, Marcus is doing a lot to really beat that war drum.
And I'm just so thankful.
One of the things he said when we went down there, because you don't realize how
Last 10 minutes, we'll solve it together.
how palpable toxicity is like you want to be hateful sometimes and they're like hurt people hurt people you've been hurt and now you want someone else to feel that exact same thing so when you see something hateful on social media what's the first thing you do you go to the comment section you read yep i feel that too i like that comment i'm gonna comment underneath it yep yep you just start to project that hate over and over and over again if i say look at it
but not get on that social media first thing in the morning.
I'm not going to get involved in that.
Actually, I'm just going to unfollow this person because every time I see you're saying something hateful, slow but sure, it's getting out that toxicity.
It allows the best form of you to continue to go forward.
But, yeah, I mean, you have to protect your peace.
I used to be the guy I'd roll over.
You've got to surround yourself with positive people that are better than you that want to try to drag you up that hill.
Thank God for people like that because, man, I mean, if you haven't been there, if you have not been that only guy on the island alone, just kiss me.
I often say it, I was the first guy in a SEAL team to suffer depression, anxiety, and suicide ideation, because I'd never heard of it before, right?
I immediately open up Instagram and I'm checking it.
So I'm in my living room, just my wife's not there, and we talk about dogs.
One of the number one reasons I never did it was when I would get to the point where I had made up my mind that dog would walk in that room and drop his head on my lap and look at me.
It's like, oh.
What are the comments?
How's the posting doing?
They are beautiful beasts.
They are amazing.
So my wife's first husband, Danny, they had a Japanese Mastiff and an old English Bulldog.
So when he passed, I met Patsy three years later.
That was the dogs I inherited.
And you couldn't pick a better dog breed.
It was the most beautiful dog I've ever seen in my life.
It looked like a Bengal tiger.
200 pounds, but a gentle giant.
But one of those things, when you walk in the house and that thing sees you, your heart just goes to 180.
You're like, I'm so happy to be home and see this dog right now.
You'll stay there for 40 minutes.
It pulls you out of a depression.
I mean, therapy dogs are a real thing.
And, you know, shout out to the Red Cross.
I didn't know what the Red Cross did in, you know, 2020.
And then if you see something negative, I'll ride that.
Like, what do you do?
They bring in dogs on hospital beds, what they do for sure.
They did it for me.
And there's nothing like laying in a hospital bed.
You've been throwing up for a week and you're just, you don't have your cell phone.
You can't call your wife.
And they bring in some giant St.
Bernard that jumps into bed with you.
And it is heaven on earth.
It's like that little bit gets you through the hump.
What do you bring me tomorrow?
We get some Cocker Spaniels, like bring them in here.
I don't care what it is now.
It's like, I just need, I need a dog.
I need something that makes me feel better.
I'll wear that jacket all day long.
I can't get it away from me.
So I don't take a Zoom call.
I don't take a phone call.
There's nothing that happens inside of my orbit before 10 a.m.
So we started that program.
It's like a recovery from injury, right?
I'm just trying to maintain a high standard.
From 7 to 10, that's my morning block.
I've had a high standard physically since I was 17, right?
I've gotten better.
I've had really, really high points, low points, coming back from injury.
But I wanted something to be able to maintain a high standard.
And when we got out, you start working with SWAT teams, SEAL teams, every team in between, firemen and everybody else.
And it's such a physical component that cannot be ignored.
I've got the whole team in there.
But so many people...
in the 80s, 90s, even early 2000s, like, good is good enough.
Like, you ever seen the show Rescue Me?
We do fitness from 7 to 9.
Dennis Leary and a bunch of guys, a bunch of firemen in New York, and they had the fat firemen, big handlebar mustaches.
You had the young guys and you see all this stuff.
I make them all do a 20-minute walk.
And now if you look at the majority of firemen, they look like professional.
They look like CrossFitters.
Like they're in shape because they understand we've got so much data on human potential and how to get there.
Nutrition, sleep, recovery, training protocols.
And they realize that.
You are your first lifeline.
Your physical vessel is the thing.
You can get in the airport through TSA.
I make the whole team protein shakes.
I can get in the White House.
I don't need to bring any tools with me.
This is a really, really good tool, and it's always with me if I keep it at a high level.
So we're going through here, and, you know, the majority of the military screen test and SWAT teams, it's all body weight.
Push-ups, pull-ups, running, SEAL teams and special operations, swim test, and that's about it.
I take a shower, and at 10 a.m., I walk out.
You'll do O courses and some other stuff, but the majority of it, that's just what it is.
Well, it's not reality.
You don't walk around, there's no way in.
You don't walk in in a pair of board shorts and weigh in.
You're wearing body armor, helmets, you know, Pano, night vision.
It's a lot of heavy stuff you have to carry.
So you're always under an extreme load.
But the physical standard was so high as a tier one level.
I mean, the entire forces, but you have to maintain such a high level because everybody else is around you.
Hit me with it.
What have we got to do?
So when I'm looking at all these guys, SWAT team guys, I'm like,
If you had a physical standard every SWAT team in the country held, if the lowest dude on the team could pass this test, the top guys are at the super elite level.
We're going to range in my training and we're shooting content.
You're so well-rounded, you can solve anything physically.
And that's one of the big things in the military is you never want to have to say no.
Can you 25 guys get up over this mountain and assault that target by 04 in the morning?
If it can be done physically, we can do it no matter what.
We'll find a way.
Move heaven and earth, we'll get it done.
It's really, really hard to make a good decision on the backside when you are so physically taxed because no decision you're ever going to make is without being under extreme duress.
What are we doing right now?
If we elevate the physical standard, we can make better decisions.
I mean, we can.
We can make better decisions through mental clarity when we're not just sucking wind.
You have full bandwidth until I leave here.
Also true very much so in civilian life, right?
Everywhere.
Like EMTs, I mean, business, entrepreneurship.
School teachers, everybody, right?
If you're not physically labored, you can make better decisions.
So that's the whole goal.
I don't care if you're a 45-year-old fireman that has an extra 35 pounds of weight on you or if you're a 19-year-old kid who's in their prime.
If you have to run up 10 flights of stairs carrying that hose—
When you get to the top, execute a good decision.
The guy whose heart rate isn't at 180 is going to make a better decision.
They just are.
And if I run till midnight, we run till midnight.
And we all know it.
So let's set a standard that, you know, I don't care if it's Wednesday, if it's 2 o'clock in the morning on a Saturday, if you spring out of bed and take this test, you should be able to pass it no matter what.
But you have both barrels of me at 100% because I've controlled that entire morning routine.
Now, what level are we trying to adhere?
As high as humanly possible.
If I hit the elite standard right now in three weeks, I should hit the elite again.
If I start to taper off, why?
Lack of sleep, poor nutrition, you know, just really crazy op tempo.
I'm in the red the whole time.
Okay, maybe I need to take a couple days off, get back on my training plan to maintain that high level.
We do a broad jump.
So power output on the floor in a dynamic fashion, landing, proprioception.
One foot past your height?
So seven feet would be...
You know, middle of the road.
If I can jump eight feet, that's really the standard.
And it's been the best thing that's ever happened to us.
Like, for me, I'm trying to get to a 10-foot broad jump.
Like, I want to hit 10 feet, and I want to hold that as long as humanly possible.
And you can swing your arms.
No running start, but you just swing your arms forward, jump.
Swing your arms, jump, feet low to the ground, dynamic fashion.
And I always tell the guys, in reality, you are not going to have time to negotiate the obstacle.
You are not going to be able to run up to that ditch and stop and look at it and go, okay, I need to get...
I need to back it up a little bit.
You're going to have to go.
As a cop chasing this kid down the city park, you're going to have to scale that eight-foot fence right now.
But you've got to be consistent.
Not look for a step stool, not, oh, what can I climb on to get over this?
You're going to have to hit that thing at full value and go up and over it.
You should have the physical ability to do that.
So we have a broad jump.
A lot of people – Vernon has a really good thing about monkey bars.
Like everybody was swinging on monkey bars when you were a kid.
It's like everything else.
And at a certain point in adulthood, you stop doing it.
But you'll look at your kid, nine years old, swinging on monkey bars.
He's like, oh, you're doing it wrong.
Do it this way.
Well, jump up there and show him.
What's the best diet?
If you haven't been on monkey bars in 40 years, expect to be humbled really, really fast.
It's like –
Use it or lose it.
It's going to happen.
So we're always trying to test ourselves.
The one you'll stick to.
What is going to make me a dynamic participant throughout the whole process?
Broad jump's a really good expression.
We have that in the SEAL teams.
We had a legacy test.
And that morning routine has been the biggest game changer I've had.
It was a body weight bench press.
NFL, it's a 225 bench press.
It's not fair for me to give 225 to a kid that weighs 160 pounds.
Or a 140-pound woman or a 50-pound woman.
Your body weight, though, and we go minimum standard, 10 repetitions.
10 repetitions, single set with your body weight.
That's minimum standard.
15, next level up.
20 plus is elite.
If you can bench press your body weight 20 times, you are in top tier.
This is full range of movement.
Bar touches your chest.
You press it all the way to straight arm.
All the way.
20 reps on that.
Pull-ups with no weight.
And we do that because so many guys have so many injuries, so many shoulder injuries.
And if your technique isn't there and you're dropping out of the hole, I don't want you to dislocate and jam up a shoulder.
So pull-ups are in there.
We have a farmer's carry.
How many pull-ups?
10, 15, and 20 plus.
In a perfect word, we do it with weight.
In the SEAL teams, we add weight to it.
But for everybody, if you can do 20 straight dead hang pull-ups, you're at the top physical game.
There's less of them.
No kip, chin clears the bar.
Chin clears the bar.
We do a farmer's carry.
So with your body weight, so if you weigh 200 pounds, you have a hundred pound dumbbell in each hand, you get up and you walk it as far as you can.
I'd have to look at the exact feet measurement, but I think the Elite is almost 300 feet, 275 and 250, somewhere around there.
And it's not an easy thing to do, but we work so much grip for the pull-ups and everything else.
Like grip matters, we say that a lot.
It's very hard to climb up a caving ladder on the side of a cruise ship when it's underway.
Your grip's the only thing that's going to get you there, so we really put a lot of focus on gripping.
Firemen need it.
Cops need it.
If I'm trying to manipulate a full-grown man through time and space against their will, your grip is a key factor in that.
You ask anybody who grapples, when somebody who grapples and you know how to use it grabs a hold of you, you instantly know you're in a world of hurt.
You grab some NCAA wrestler and he grabs a hold of you, the first thing you feel is his hands.
I'm scratching a hold of a grizzly bear right now.
This is not going to be good.
We need everybody to have that same strength.
Also, someone's got to open the pickle jar.
Got to be able to open the pickle jar.
But when you pick up that weight, everything's in there.
Your core's in there.
Your posture really matters.
I've got to be able to control my breathing.
Ocular focus.
Where am I looking?
And then how long can I hold on to this?
I've got to keep a rigid frame.
I can't lean over and let it take control of me.
I can't lean back.
I've got to be present throughout the entire movement and then just push.
So we've got that, we've got a trap bar deadlift.
We use the trap bar because the majority of guys in that career have already got some injuries stacked up and we actually put 45 pound bumper plates to pull from a little bit of an elevation because I've got a really long torso
The big thing we push in that program is we want you to be able to train 52 weeks out of the year.
There is no off-season for a fireman.
There's no off-season for a SWAT team guy.
There's no off-season for an Army Ranger.
And if you get jammed up in the gym, and I've done it really bad, the mission doesn't care.
You have to go anyway.
And now you're not at 100%.
And the entire patrol in, you're thinking about your lower back and if you're going to be able to be able to perform on target.
We can't have that.
We're trying to increase your confidence, never decrease it.
So that's why we pull from that.
That is one and a half times your body weight is the minimum standard.
For how many repetitions?
One and a half times your body weight.
And then two times your body weight.
I think it's two and a half times your body weight is the elite for a set of five.
You can obviously do more.
I think I did a set of 12 in that video, but it's just, can I pick up double body weight under control without slamming it on the ground, proper form, in control the entire time?
So we add in all those.
So the broad jump, the farmer's carry, the body weight bench, the pull-ups.
the Trab Bar Deadlift, and we have an 800 meter run.
We also have a plank for time.
So a minute and a half, two minutes.
No, it's two minutes, two and a half minutes, and three minutes.
Just in a plank.
On the forearms, yeah, planking.
However you wanna hold it.
And we were gonna do sit-ups originally, but sit-ups is such a hip flexor dominant position because I have that long torso.
If I don't anchor my feet,
50 sit-ups is really, really hard for me.
And how do you gauge it?
Are your hands interlocked behind your back?
There's a whole bunch of ways to cheat it.
It's very hard to cheat a plank, but your core is so important.
And that's something that Vernon got me doing.
I had a lot of lower back injuries, as we all do.
I started walking around with my core at like 40% to 50% flexed all day, every day.
my lower back issues went away instantly.
So I walk around with a little bit of tension all day long.
Just imagine walking around the pool with your shirt off.
A little bit of tension in your abs, and it protects my lower back.
So we always say be an active participant throughout the entire movement.
I'm never going to let my core go to jello because then my lower back will spasm.
Everything is locked in.
Everything is in control.
My intensity is there.
My focus is there.
And I blocked out all the stray voltage.
So we get through that and then we do an 800 meter run.
I wanted to do 400 meter repeats, do a 400 stop as long as it took you to run, execute another one in the same amount of time.
Well, the SWAT team, they have an 800-meter run.
We're like, well, since you already do it, I don't need a guy that can run a marathon.
I need a guy that can throw a 200-pound guy over his shoulders and run him up 10 flights of stairs and make a good decision.
So being a marathon runner, while it might be great for you, it doesn't really give me everything I need.
I really need that hybrid athlete and that 800-meter.
I didn't realize, and I talked to everybody who's a distance runner, the 800 is brutal.
It's too fast to fully sprint, and you can't slow down.
because that time metric I think is 3.15, three minutes and 2.45 to be the elite.
So I think I'm in like the 2.40 range right now, but I haven't ran since I snapped my hip.
Other than sprints, I don't run because it hurts my hip too bad, but I'm able to get through it.
I've got a laundry list of injuries and we did that entire test cold bore.
We basically wrote it down and the whole thing when I sit down with Vernon, I was like, I need something to drive to.
I do better when there's a target goal on the wall
Like two years ago, it was a 400-pound bench press.
I have never been able to bench press 400 pounds.
I've missed it every time.
My shoulders were all blown out.
And I was like, with all the injuries, I want to press 400 pounds one time before I hang it up forever.
Retrained the entire year, hit 407, re-racked it.
I need to hold a high standard.
What is it?
Well, if I was on a SEAL team or a SWAT team and every dude could pass that test, we have a physical dynasty because not everyone can.
But it gives you something.
You look at me and it's like, I've got a laundry list of injuries, dude.
I'm on the wrong side of 40 right now.
I've never taken my foot off the gas and neither should you.
You're 22 years old.
You should be running circles around me.
And if you're not, just because you don't care enough.
No one has slapped you, and that's the whole concept of being a pro.
Everything I'm doing is putting me in position to be the best version of myself because the team deserves it.
Everything I do, everything I say, everything I represent should be putting the group in a better position.
And for us, because it's such a dangerous job, your physical readiness, it can't be ignored.
That is the one thing that everyone should be able to count on.
And they should look at you.
Well, I know John cares.
Look at him.
Like, he didn't wake up like that.
That dude is in the gym five days a week because he wants to be the best fireman he can possibly be.
And that's where we push out.
And the standard has been great.
A lot of guys get super humbled by him.
And, you know, some guys lie because I see their numbers.
Like, there's no way you did that.
But it keeps them honest.
We tell the guys whenever they're ready.
We did a 12-week block on it.
I've been traveling a lot, so haven't really been able to retest.
We're coming up on it maybe the next two weeks or so.
Going to retest just to see where it's at, but...
That was the interesting thing is I called back to the command, to our strength conditioning coaches, and I pulled out all my scores from a test that's very, very similar.
Body weight bench, max pull-ups, did the whole thing.
My numbers now, 15 years later, some are better than they were when I was in my 20s.
And it's like, I'm not training for that.
This is just the program.
It keeps me at a super high level.
We had a doctor from Duke University come down and do some CQB testing on me.
And we had to test VO2 max.
I haven't trained for VO2 max in 20 years.
And my VO2 max is still on top of 0, 0, 0, 1% of the earth.
All elite athletes, I don't train VO2 max.
And my breathing is so inefficient.
And that's what he laughed about.
You're ultrasounding my diaphragm.
And he's like, your breathing's terrible.
But it translates to where your VO2 max is awesome.
He's like, you can live forever.
That's how we determine how long you're going to live for is VO2 max.
And your VO2 max is through the roof.
I don't train it.
If you just do the program, maintain it consistently, it'll give you such a well-rounded approach to everything.
And that's the big thing is I don't want to have to say no.
Hey, can you pick that up?
Can you jump over that?
Can you move that out of the way?
Can you move him through time and space?
Like he was my true north.
One of the things that program does better than anything else I've ever seen is there's probably 800 to 1,000 movement tutorials.
They're either guided by me with Vernon doing all the coaching cues, big toe down, feel this, roll this hip over, you'll feel this.
He navigates it so well verbally and verbally.
physically, you can watch him.
He'll manipulate me, demonstrating exactly what you'll feel and touch.
Then the message board on the backside.
So when you finish the workout, everybody else who's done that workout, all, you know, thousands of people, they comment on how they're feeling.
And he'll read that.
And he's like, hey, guys, looks like everybody's getting a little fatigued after the last couple of weeks after this, you know, this power block we just did.
Hey, we're going to taper off for the next five days.
We're going to regroup.
And following Monday, we're going to push.
And this is what we're going to do.
So he'll sprinkle in more running.
You know, when
Summertime comes around.
We'll start to add a little bit more, but we add in 20-minute walks every day so everybody gets them right after you leave.
I steal a bunch of stuff from you.
I'm like, shit can't do sunglasses.
Let's get some vitamin D, straighten our eyes first thing in the morning, set circadian rhythm.
I do the same thing at night.
It's like they've all been saying the same thing, man.
Like if you just make it part of your routine and Schwarzenegger says it too.
Like, hey, did you work out yesterday?
I'm going to work out tomorrow and the next day.
I brush my teeth twice a day too.
I'm going to continue doing it.
It's part of my routine and I'm not going to miss it.
I've been doing this and I haven't missed a session for six years and I am not going to miss one tomorrow.
Why would I?
You're seeing what it's doing for me.
I mean, I've got a laundry list of injuries and I'm still able to perform at a super high level because I'm not taking my foot off the gas.
There's nothing magical about me.
I'm the most normal dude you'll ever meet.
But, I mean, we have 65, 70-year-olds on that program.
And if you can't do one, if you have a limitation, so do we.
You can do a drop-down menu and there'll be 40 different exercises to pick from.
So if I go to a hotel gym, I don't have it.
Very first thing I do, I walk down, I scan the whole thing, I send it to Vernon.
He's like, ooh, only dumbbells to 50, huh?
I was like, yeah.
And he'll send me a workout.
Or I'll just drop down the menu like, okay, well, because today's my leg day, I'm actually gonna do Friday's workout and I'll shift Thursday because I'll be home in my home gym.
I'll do Thursday's workout on Friday.
You have to.
I have this big thing I do.
I've been asked to do a lot of motivational speaking lately and a lot of that.
And I tell this story about a kid that grows up wanting to be a fireman and how he got inspired by a fireman because that guy was a physical representation of what that kid thought a fireman would be.
Looked apart, acted apart.
He's heroic.
He might as well put a red cape on this kid and send him through the door.
I mean, that's what it is.
That's you representing everything you think a fireman should be, not just what you say, what you wear, how you speak, do everything.
So for me, anybody who I meet, I'm giving you both barrels right now because I'm trying to live the actual life that I think I should be living that translates all the positive stuff I'm trying to put out.
If you saw me and I was 50 pounds overweight at a bar, drinking my 12th beer, talking about mental health, you wouldn't take me serious.
Talking about how you were an AVCO back when.
That does nothing for them.
It's like, that's not how I identify.
Yeah, I did that job.
And yeah, you think that gives me credibility.
I don't care about that a bit.
That doesn't give me credibility.
The way I live my life now, my daily routine gives me the credibility.
Because no matter who you are, you can adopt that same lifestyle, that same routine.
You can grab it as a housewife.
You can wake up early and go out and do a 20-minute walk every single morning before your kids wake up.
You're just refusing to do it.
I don't know why, but I promise you, if every single person ever watches this, you wake up and do a 20-minute walk in the morning and one after dinner, and you do it for seven days, on the eighth day, the world doesn't fall apart.
It only gets better the more you do it.
It just will.
People just don't want to put in the work.
They want this quick fix.
They want Ozempic.
They want this.
If anyone is struggling with building that bridge, especially guys transitioning out of the military or a career, you watch it with Tom Brady and everybody else, when they leave the thing they were put on this earth to do, there is a fall from grace that can't be ignored.
And most of the time that splits with the wife, right?
Like the person you are now, she's not used to being home and now you don't have anything.
If you are struggling to rebuild that connection with your wife, with your partner, that 20 minute walk has saved my marriage.
I have given it to thousands of people.
That right there, if I could give everybody a gift, the power of that 20-minute walk, it's changed my whole life, man.
That is the one constant thing I don't compromise on.
I mean, even to the point where...
As dumb as it may be when I'm walking through the Atlanta airport, I don't get on the little conveyor belt.
I'm not doing that.
I'll walk from terminal E all the way to terminal A because it's a 20 minute power push.
I do it and I film it on social media.
I'm getting my steps in no matter what.
I'm not on my phone, I'm showing you you can find the time.
Instead of sitting there at Starbucks for 45 minutes waiting on my flight, I'll just walk back and forth.
I just got a 40 minute walk in straight.
So when I get back home, it's 2.30 in the morning.
I don't feel guilty.
I haven't done anything physical today.
I wake up in the morning 5 a.m.
and I gear it up and I spin it again.
You can find the time rarely.
You have to make the time.
If you're waiting for it just to pop up and like, oh, here's a free 20 minute block.
You're not going to have it.
And people just, that's the thing I can't get past.
Like, oh, you know, I can't wake up that early.
You have a thousand dollar smartphone that does anything.
There's not a question you can ask it.
It doesn't have the answer to, and there's a clock on it.
If you set it, it'll go off.
When it goes off, get out of bed.
Like I've been doing it my whole life.
I don't understand it.
They just don't want to.
They've never felt the power of being in control of the small things.
Why stack it up to micro-winds?
Lay out your clothes the night before.
I mean, how many people wake up, you know, 20 minutes before they're supposed to leave the door and they're just frantic like, where's my black shirt?
Where's my black shirt?
Who moved my shoes?
Where are my car keys?
That's a terrible way to start the day, but you're the one who's doing that.
If you just spend 10 minutes the night before, take your shower, lay out the clothes, put them in the logical order you're about to get them dressed in the next morning and go, you'd be surprised how fast you're actually making a cup of coffee.
You're like, man, I did my entire morning routine in less than five minutes.
What do I do with my next 40?
Whatever you want.
Do 10 minutes of meditation.
Sit there in a dark room and just tell yourself 10 things you're truly grateful for.
I am so glad I have my wife.
I'm so glad I have two healthy kids.
I'm so glad I have a company.
I'm so glad I have two arms and two legs.
I'm so glad I'm still alive.
What are you going to do?
I'm going to make the most out of it.
Go to work and do that.
People just don't want to make the time because they've never seen the example.
So a lot of stuff we try to put out is I'm trying to be a physical representation of what I'm trying to mass produce.
Physically strong, mentally resilient, capable, patriotic Americans.
That's what I'm trying to do.
I just want you to have accountability.
I've accounted for all my failures, all my successes, and everything else in between, and I'll show them exactly what happens when you do it wrong.
I think that's what a lot of people like the most about it is I will tell you all my deepest, darkest secrets because you're going to learn a lot more from those than you are about climbing Everest.
Everybody wants to see the picture at the top of the mountain.
They don't want to hear about how many Sherpas you lost on the way to the top.
They don't want to hear about that.
I want to hear about the real struggle, like how hard is it to be you.
Talk me through it.
I can learn so much from the hardships of people.
Just unfortunately, we're in a place now where not too many people are willing to share it.
Yeah, just trying to help out as many people as possible before I hang this whole thing up and retire.
I'll slide you those.
So I'm going to tell you the backstory real quick.
So we started doing in-house embroidery workshops.
And we wanted to do an American flag hat, but we sit down with Tyra Millican, he runs all our stuff.
And we've got an apprentice, Sophia, that does all our embroidery in-house, six head embroidery machine.
And we wanted to do an American flag hat.
And I got so, I'm gonna try not to get upset.
I get so sick of people ordering American flag patches off Amazon from China and border stitching them on hats and letting that be a patriotic symbol.
Is that how it's typically done?
I mean, you can go to Amazon.
I can buy 500 of those.
And those are made in China.
And I can border stitch them on there.
I can hot glue them on there.
We've got this embroidery machine, and Tyler's a wizard with just embroidery files and everything else.
And we were like, let's make the American flag hat.
It's not going to be a border stitch.
It's not going to be a patch we sew on this thing.
Like, what's it going to be?
And he looked right at me.
He goes, I can make you the hat.
but we are never going to make money on it.
And I was like, I ain't about making money.
And he's like, well, I can't mass produce them either.
I was like, the hat in the story I'm going to tell is not meant for mass production.
So when you launch those hats, that hat is almost 24,000 individual stitches.
It takes 60 minutes just to make the flag.
The quality control that goes inside that, if a single thread is pulled, rolled, anything, we cancel it, we toss it.
But that hat, and I- Oh, it's actually stitched into the bag.
Yeah, got it.
When we first dropped those things, I told everybody, I was like, this hat is for the people that get emotional when they hear the national anthem.
This hat is for the people whose children say the Pledge of Allegiance with hand over heart.
They go to the baseball games.
They have a visceral response when they hear the national anthem played.
They're not kneeling at football games.
They're not playing all the left side and right side.
They are patriotic Americans.
And I told them, if you are going to wear this hat and let anything –
poisonous come out of your mouth while you're wearing that hat, I will fly there and I'll snatch it off your head.
Everything you're going to do needs to represent what you think the essence of America is.
Everything that flows out of your mouth while you're wearing that hat better be done with dignity and respect because a lot of brave men and women have sacrificed everything just for that little piece of cloth.
So we don't mass produce them.
We drop them a couple times a year.
We'll do it like a be a pro drop a couple different times.
And they fly like wildfire.
And it's so cool to see because the people that know, they know.
We have done so much for that flag.
And I hate seeing it being misrepresented in any way, shape, or form.
You do it such in a beautiful light.
I would love for you to have those.
So those came from the boys at GBRS.
And I know that when you wear them, you'll preach the gospel and you'll represent the American people in a beautiful way.
But if you don't, I will fly out here and I'll snatch them off your head like I will anybody else.
I believe you.
But those things, those represent...
We've got a bunch of patriots and a bunch of veterans that work inside with us.
So every time we do that drop, the entire company, we're 40-something people strong now.
And when that hat comes out, everybody can feel it.
Like beating the war drum on just being a good patriot.
I know I isolate it for just Americans, but the overall message is I want everyone to be a patriot.
Everyone in the UK, Australia, New Zealand, Canada, France, if you have ownership and you are patriotic where you come from, you represent it so much better than anyone else.
If I've never met a person from Australia and I go there and I meet one person, it's a positive experience.
For the rest of my days, I'll talk about that experience.
So when I wear that hat, I try to represent what I want the American people to be like.
So when somebody meets me from Australia,
Zimbabwe, and I'm wearing that hat, that interaction is gonna be the best I can possibly be because of the weight of that thing sitting on my head.
You know, when I came out here, you know,
I was telling the boys, like, I got to bring Andrew a hat.
They spun them up real quick.
We don't drop those things until November, but I wanted you to have the first one.
So thank you for everything, and thanks for having me on, man.
Oh, man, thank you.
He was the guy.
The situation really dictates
When I was in, I wouldn't.
I'd wake up before everybody else is in there.
And it's a lot of stuff I tell the new guys in special operations.
Like, if you sacrifice your sleep when it doesn't affect anyone else, you can really lay the foundation for greatness, right?
Your first four years, don't rush to make her your girlfriend.
Don't make her your wife.
Don't have a kid.
Don't get a dog.
Just focus on being a green beret.
Focus on being a Navy SEAL and just do that.
Then when that girlfriend turns in her fiance, you can have the bandwidth to do them both.
It's very hard to do that job, you know, build that boat at the high seas, and now you're dragging your wife into it.
It's hard to do.
But, you know, situation dictates.
If it's something I really have to solve, we really have to solve it.
But she knows no matter what, I'm on racket at 07.
I'm not missing this for you.
I'm not missing it for anybody else because she knows what's going to happen.
So she'll either grab me at lunch.
Hey, do you have a block here we can talk?
We'll maybe start the initial conversation.
If it starts going south or anything, it's going to take long.
I'll look down at my watch.
Honey, I got to go.
I got 12 minutes to be there.
She's like, okay, we'll catch up at lunch.
And we'll go.
I can't miss morning movement.
I can't do it.
that will ruin my day.
And if I'm rushed through morning movement, if somebody comes in, somebody beats on the door and they're like, hey, we were in the neighborhood, just wanted to come see you.
Can we talk for 20 minutes?
No, you can't.
No, I'm sorry.
And I know it sounds bad.
Because I know what happens if I miss this day.
And I'm not willing to take the chance on you right now.
You can wait an hour.
Wait till I'm done.
But it's hard.
And when he got shot up, when you see it happen, you know, I think that was the closest call for fire mission the entire Iraq war.
And now we've kind of restructured the whole day to where I can get my time in in the morning and I can leave with just enough time to see my kids wake up now.
They're pouring cereal.
So now I get that little dopamine hit of seeing them and I kick off their morning in a positive way.
I'm doing red light therapy in the morning.
I'm still going to unrack at 07.
I'm still getting up at 5.
But now I'm just in the house, getting everything processed.
I'm going to leave on my terms, and that way they get to see me first thing in the morning.
I only get three hours at night.
Well, if I get 30 minutes in the morning, stacked over the course of a year, that's a huge difference.
We've restructured the entire day, but the whole team is also on that exact same schedule.
It's not just me.
It's not just my world and business partners, Cole and everybody else, everybody who does that morning block of fitness.
That's why I've been pushing this whole time.
And if you look at
Anybody in the military, anybody in the fire department, anybody in special operations, the military in general, everybody's day always starts with fitness.
When you're in boot camp, you wake up, you do a workout, and then you eat.
When you go into BUDS, you wake up, you work out essentially all day long, go to sleep.
It's the same thing.
When you get to the SEAL team, you do the same thing.
Everybody wakes up, everybody does fitness, the very first thing, and then we start our day.
It's been really successful.
Why would I ever break that?
You see guys when they transition out, they get away from it.
They gain a bunch of weight.
They start drinking.
You working out five days a week?
You've been doing it since you were 17 years old.
Why would you break it now?
Yeah, why do you think that that happens?
I think guys use excuses, injuries, limitations, lack of motivation.
Like, oh, there's no reason for me to be in shape.
Longevity of life.
Everybody says, oh, I take a bullet for my kids.
You won't lose 40 pounds for them.
You won't prolong life if you think you're a real asset to your family.
Why wouldn't you try to maximize that time?
So I looked him out.
It doesn't take a whole lot.
Like you don't have to be David Goggins.
You don't have to run a hundred miles a day.
You can wake up and do a 20 minute walk every single day and you'll be better off for it.
You could grab a set of kettlebells, 30 minutes in your garage.
That is something every single day that makes you exponentially better just through the repetition of being there, being present, being a little selfish right now so you can be selfish later.
So for me, if I don't get that workout in,
And everybody's got stuff going on.
If I don't get that block of fitness in, I will think about that all day long.
I'll think about it for weeks.
The next time we hit that muscle group, I don't get the same numbers I thought I would.
Well, that's because I took Monday off.
I'm never going to put myself in that position.
I don't want to have to have that excuse.
So I just set the foundation.
I lay it down.
I stamped it on a piece of paper.
That's what I'm doing.
I'm not compromising on it.
One of the things that nobody ever talks about is
your body awareness.
When you do fitness for a long time, 50 years old, you've been doing fitness for a very long time, you are so in tune with that vessel that when something does pop up, you identify it right away.
When you don't, you're like, my back kind of hurts.
You don't know.
I'm in tune with that thing so well that when I walk into a doctor, I'm like, take a needle three inches down, rotate it over 45 degrees, and that's where it is.
I'm like, okay, this is it.
I'm so in tune with it.
So when anything pops up, I can diagnose it.
I can walk in and give them actual feedback of what's happening.
I'm not just sitting on the couch all day long just – my neck kind of hurts.
No, I know exactly what it is.
I'm doing a full diagnostic approach the entire day, and that's why I've got Vernon.
I mean, he's the best strength coach in the world.
If I wouldn't have that guy, I would be –
I mean, he's brought me back from the dead more times than I can count.
But it's five days a week.
I mean, he's in there every day.
So if I walk in and I've got a slight limp on my left side, he's like, hey, my man, come over.
What is that?
And I was like, ah, nothing.
He's like, Bruce Hill?
Yeah, how'd you know it was a bruise too?
It was like, I watched that broad jump on Friday.
Like you landed a little funky.
I wanted to see if it was going to mess with you.
He ID'd it, I ID'd it.
I just wasn't going to say anything.
Okay, what are you going to do about it?
Be proactive instead of reactive.
But that's because you're chipping away and, you know, you're understanding yourself so well because you are constantly in tune with your body and people just forget about it.
Like, why aren't you sleeping?
Oh, I had caffeine at four o'clock.
Oh, I'm accountable for everything I put in my body and then everything that comes out of me.
the gym's just one of the methods that really ties them all together for me.
What does that workout look like for you?
So I linked up with Vernon right when I was getting medically retired around 2019.
I came back from a gnarly shoulder injury.
I blew it, I had a dislocation.
It came through my armpit, shredded out everything.
And I went from about 215 to about 180 pounds.
Got stuck in a rehab clinic in Bethesda, Maryland for 31 days inpatient.
And I came out like death warmed over.
Worst I've ever been in my life.
Worst my mental health has ever been.
I did not want to play the game anymore.
And Navy SEAL Foundation hooked you up with this physical rehabilitation program in Virginia Beach, ran by a former SEAL.
And Vernon was the lead strength conditioning coach there.
he was my coach and we walked in we did full body assessments and what's interesting about him is he took all your limitations in developed concepts and movements to establish confidence in that area so when i came back you know day one he's like okay let's try to hang from the bar i looked right at him no he's like what no i'm not hanging from that bar i'm done like i've done i've done more pull-ups than most people on the planet
My pull-up days are done, man.
Like, I'm not doing it again.
He goes, you got to trust me.
It's not going to happen on day one.
Slowly but surely.
I mean, he's at the point where he's holding my knees.
I can't even extend my arm overhead, like,
That's humbling for a guy that was a tier one operator.
That's humbling.
I was so bound up by fear that it was going to come because that was my first shoulder surgery.
And if you've never had one, shoulder surgery is the worst rehab I've ever had.
And I've had a lot of them.
The shoulder rehab was brutal.
and I didn't want it to pop and I'd extend and I couldn't do it, I couldn't do it.
And he's like, you just gotta trust me, man.
Like, doctor cleared you, the anchors have set, everything is there, but you cannot go through the rest of your life like this.
He's like, you're not even 40.
He's like, do you wanna go another 40 years without doing a pull-up?
You're going to have to trust me.
He'd pick me up by the legs.
I'd put my arm on there, and he'd slowly but surely start to extend me down until we got full range of motion.
And we did that for days and weeks.
Then we went to a band, and we took the band off.
I just want you to hang.
Now we're going to focus on going back up.
And we built back to, I mean, I can do sets of 25 pull-ups now.
You're pulling your weight, which is what right now?
Non-kip pull-up?
And it's all bouncing back from him.
But the whole program we did, you know, because I'm not a unicorn by any means, but.
I've had all the injuries that everybody else has had.
I've had double hip surgery.
I've had double shoulder surgery.
I've had my abdomen blown through a couple of times.
I mean, I've had them all.
I've had thumbs.
I've had a rebuild.
When I got electrocuted, it blew out everything.
And we had to rebuild that entire thing.
So all the guys that are in this process, if you're a SWAT team, a fireman on a SEAL team, anybody in between, we've all got injuries that become limitations and we just avoid them.
You can't avoid them forever.
And this program is designed to get you back in shape and
It grows with you as you go.
So every single week, you're chasing numbers from the week before and pushing.
On the days you don't have it, on the days you wake up and you're bound up, just lacking motivation, we're going with 100% of what we have to offer.
That might be 75%.
I'm giving 100% of the 75 I have today.
But Mondays, a pull day from the floor, usually trap bar deadlifts.
And we do those because of all the injuries.
I've got a really long torso.
It puts my back in a weird, precarious situation.
So we do trap bar deadlifts.
We do those, a lot of pull-up work, a lot of grip work, a lot of core stability stuff.
Tuesday's a press day, heavy upper body, bench, incline, that kind of stuff.
Wednesday's an upper body, lower body disassociation.
So we get the upper body moving in one direction, the lower body moving the other.
A lot of core stability.
Any example of that?
We'll do a lot of banded work.
We'll drop down to a knee, like almost in a shooting position, and we'll do cross-body pulls with bands, resistance training, but just, you know, connecting focus.
On that day, we'll do plyo stuff, box jumps, height, distance and broad jump, that kind of stuff.
Farmers carry walks and all this stuff, just trying to connect all the dots.
Thursday is the most brutal leg day you've ever had, and it's amazing.
We've got a belt squat machine.
So anybody who walks in, regardless of the injuries and limitations you have, we have equipment to accommodate that.
High weight.
Pretty high repetitions.
So high weight, high repetitions.
Always trying to push, but a lot of single leg movements, Bulgarian split squats.
I mean, a lot of lunges, a lot of lunges with heavy weight.
I mean, 70 pounds in each hand.
For me, that's a lot of weight.
So not calf raises, leg curls.
But on days, some days we'll do a feel good day.
Like some days we'll come in, he'll take a pulse of the whole room and he'll go.
We're all gonna hit the same muscle groups.
We're just gonna do it in a more traditional.
So we're gonna do hamstring curls, leg extensions.
We're gonna do belt squats.
We're gonna do pulsing lunges.
Really just pump the blood flow and just chase a really good pump.
Everybody loves doing that.
And Friday's a really, it's a feel good day.
It's an arm day.
We'll do some shoulders, some accessory work.
And then we added in sprints in between, probably two to three days a week, 200-meter repeats, 300-meter repeats.
Done where in the workout?
In between sets?
We always save it at the end, and we always did that with the military too.
It always ends with a run, and I've tried every combination, doing sprints pre and post, and it really just zaps a workout for me.
So on Wednesday, if we're doing a sprint workout, it might be 10 by 40, 50 meter sprints, right?
Nothing crazy.
We'll do that at the very beginning, get the fast switch muscle fibers going, and then we'll do whatever the normal Wednesday workout is.
And then we go to the flat range every Wednesday.
So we train, we bring him out too.
So all the stance, the grip, the presentation, everything we talk about in the tactical setting, he's there with us.
So when I talk about flexing your right glute to add stability to a stable shooting platform, he's there driving home.
This is why it's important.
Think big toe down, drive your heel down.
So, I mean, he's as much of a coach as I am on the flat range, but he can connect the dots so well, and that's why I love him.
He's not going to let you take that limitation and then live it forever.
You don't want to be like that.
And it doesn't help that he's bigger, stronger, faster than everybody else.
So you've always got a good lifting buddy to kind of chase.
He always pushes you.
But he's so good at navigating the human terrain.
Because some days I'll walk in and whatever's happened over the week, he'll see me in the morning.
He'll look at me like, how are we holding up?
I'm like, 100%.
Come over here.
What's going on?
I'll talk to him.
He's like, we'll shake it all out.
We've got two hours here.
Nothing else matters.
Let's just focus on this.
And I find myself pacing a lot.
So in between sets.
I'll block out everything else.
I'm not thinking about social, not thinking about my wife, not thinking about the business.
I'm thinking about putting myself in the best mental spot to pull that off the floor at 100% with no distractions.
And I think that's why I like it so much because it allows me to isolate my thoughts.
Nothing else matters.
You don't matter.
This doesn't matter.
Just that movement.
Let me get through that the best of my ability.
Set it down, recog, walk around, get ready for the next one.
I'm going to put so much intent behind this pull that if I get eight or 12, it doesn't matter.
Every single one is all out.
And, you know, Dorian Yates talks about it.
Intensity is what really drives.
And I really try to drive intent behind everything I do now.
And, yeah, he's a huge... Man, I can't tell you how many times he's brought me back.
I mean, the worst injuries you can imagine.
And he's there every single time.
And I think that's why so many people get on with it because they see the injuries you've gone through.
And it's like, well, you can still perform at a high level only because I'm
I don't want to say I'm even ego driven.
I've been so ingrained into sitting with the routine.
It doesn't matter what injuries I've had.
I mean, I come out and we've got pitchers, me and their double slings.
Like when I got electrocuted, double slings.
I can't even, I can't even tie my shoes.
He's tying my shoes.
Like he's putting the belt squat on me.
I'm squatting down.
Like inside of 15 meters.
He's clipping it in.
He's unracking it, the entire thing.
Like he's my guy.
And he's a former operator as well.
So his business partner was a former operator.
He was actually in the Air Force and transitioned out, got a strength conditioning, all his quals.
And he's got such an interesting look to mobility, impact, and
The high level athletes that come through him, and that's really what it is, he gets big guys tricked into doing mobility and liking it.
Because nobody wants to do mobility.
It's not a sexy thing to do.
I mean, we get first round draft picks that are pouring through that gym all week long.
And you see them because it's the truth.
Like, we're trying to keep you at a super high level as long as humanly possible.
The average guy plays in the NFL three years.
But I'm trying to keep you in there for 12.
How are we going to do it?
You have to maintain that vessel at a super high level because all these young kids are trying to knock you off the team.
And then the reality of the sport is trying to knock you off the team as well.
So we got to keep you really, really mobile and healthy.
And I've never seen anybody that can connect thoughts better than that guy.
He's an absolute lifesaver.
I've lived so many different stages in my life, high points and low points and everything in between.
I mean, Cordy, Mike, Mike, my AC-130 gunship, I mean, it was on top of you.
Fill in the blanks for us.
I was born in San Diego, California.
My dad was a SEAL.
My mom was in the Navy.
So when my dad graduated, my mom was nine months pregnant with me.
So his whole first four years at the West Coast SEAL teams, I was one of the only kids there.
So I kind of grew up in the culture, really ingrained into it.
And at my lowest point, I had no physical connection.
On Coronado?
It's my first bottle.
I'm wearing a SEAL Team 1 onesie.
You literally were raised on Coronado.
So I did that.
We moved to the East Coast.
You got transitioned over to the East Coast.
I grew up the rest of my time there.
fell in love with skateboarding.
That's all I wanted to do.
I wanted to go pro.
Got into a fight with the old man around 15 years old, something like that.
And he signed me up for summer school to graduate early.
So I graduated at 17, hit delayed entry program, joined a Navy a month later.
Was that a contentious interaction?
I was either down hard with an injury, coming back from surgery, and then my mental health rapid decline right after that.
It was always in the back of your mind.
Like, that was always what you thought you were going to do.
But at 15 years old, in your mind, you can do them both.
You're like, oh, I can be a professional skateboarder, and then I can be a Navy SEAL later.
You don't realize what it actually takes to do it, even though you grew up in the culture.
So when that happened, you know, the towers had just fell.
I was 17 years old, delayed entry program, straight out to Coronado.
Got through SEAL training, came back to the East Coast, where I've been essentially my whole life.
Yeah, joined the Navy in 2002 and I got medically retired in 2019, right around 17 years.
I think it was 16 years and like 10 months, something like that.
And for someone who never suffered from mental health issues, it's shocking.
If you can make it through BUDS, you can do anything.
It is such a brutal program.
And I just, I had a week just secured, and I saw a bunch of the guys took them out to dinner the other night.
And I was explaining to a group of civilians that were out there with them, like their parents.
I'm like, you guys all see it.
Every single person does that pipeline.
It's not just BUDS.
It's, you know, the Q course for Green Berets.
And you feel like you're the only person going through it, especially when you come from a subculture of special operations, nobody ever talks about it.
It's RIP for the Rangers, MARSOC selection.
Every single kid that's doing that selection program is the biggest deal in his hometown.
The biggest thing in his high school, everybody knows he's going in the amount of external pressure it's riding on that kid.
Unless you've done it, you have no idea.
You just don't.
It's like playing D1 college ball.
Everyone in your family is expecting you to be a pro.
They're expecting you to be in the NFL.
And if you don't get drafted, it's like...
It's so much pressure on you.
And it's the same way.
Pretty much.
And it's a lot of pressure, right?
The GWAT just kicking off, all the instructors were coming back from Afghanistan and they were larger than life.
You really looked up to them.
And I was just very fortunate that I grew up in a culture and I knew a lot of the guys going in.
So I knew what the in-state was.
Most of these kids are from Biloxi, Mississippi.
So when you find yourself in that dark room alone,
You've never even seen a Navy SEAL in real life until you showed up here.
I grew up with one.
All my family friends were SEALs.
We didn't have a single civilian friend growing up.
The only thing I've been around were commandos.
I felt really natural around that environment.
But I knew it was going to suck.
I just knew it was.
Mow the lawn, go skateboarding.
And then as we transitioned, we got closer.
It was turn it on, download the Stu Smith guide to Navy SEAL prep and did that like everybody else did.
really contemplating some terrible things it's hard to wrap your head around because you're the only person that's ever gone through it and you know had some really good strength coaches and coming back from injuries and the better i got physically my mental health naturally started to pull out of it and but everything we did was for the group so all my physical attributes everything i'm training is for the betterment of the group now it's betterment of my family of my tribe of whatever i have but you know i talk about this thing stacking up micro wins
It's a phenomenal program for anybody who's trying to go.
I was so young.
I was so immature.
Didn't have a cell phone.
Didn't have a car.
I lived on the barracks, and the only thing you had to do was get through the program.
What I will say is the 17-year-old me that showed up in 2002, if I would try to be a Navy SEAL in 2025, they wouldn't even take me.
My performance scores, like you have to pass a screen test, push-ups, pull-ups, run, swim, the whole thing.
Your scores now have to be so competitive, they wouldn't even take me.
Oh, so the standards have changed?
Standards are the same, but the people going through the program are so better prepared, they wouldn't even take you.
So if you're not...
If you're not 120 pushups, 120, they don't even look at you.
Like for me, I basically barely scratched through.
I was a strong swimmer, but technique wasn't my thing.
And until you take the test, you don't realize how hard it is.
And I got through it and I went out to buds and I was successful, but
I was by no means a star athlete.
And you guys, you know, Coleman Ruiz, Naval Academy, they are freaks.
They're phenoms.
They are professional athletes.
And there you are, 6'1", 145 pounds, pot smoking skateboarder.
We are not on the same level.
But mentally, you couldn't mess with me.
I didn't care.
Like we're getting surf tortured and you'd watch these guys who would just see studs get up and quit.
It's not going to stop.
And I felt like I always had the inside scoop.
Like, if you think this is going to end, it's not.
Like, my dad did a lot of diving.
I was like, I've seen the conditions he'd dive in, breaking through the ice.
Like, it is only going to get worse, dude.
If this phases you, this is not the program for you.
And I was right.
If that phases you, the SEAL team is going to chew you alive.
So not everybody should make it through that program.
I was just fortunate enough that just good enough to get by.
And, you know, maturity came later, but.
Bud's was definitely not the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
At the time it was.
And when you get through it and you see all the, I mean, you start with 200 and something people, you graduate less than 20.
A bell-fed machine gun just chewing us up.
Those are 200 of the most physically capable people of that year in the United States Navy, and they couldn't make it.
I mean, all the guys that they...
You've been around them.
Captain Americas.
Navy SEALs have a certain look.
They have a certain mystique, a certain aura, and they do in training too.
It's not like you just developed that.
You've had it your whole life.
And there were definitely guys you look at that look like Dolph Lundgren from Rocky.
You look at him, you're like, oh, that dude is definitely going to make it.
He's gone in 20 minutes.
You're like, how?
He passed everything.
He didn't like that cold water.
Okay, and then you see another guy who, he was worse shaped than me, barely squeaked by everything, and he is the hardest dude you ever met in your life.
Nothing fazes him.
Every run, every swim, just miserable.
He doesn't care.
It sounds like you have to not mind being miserable.
You have to get used to it.
You have to embrace it.
It's going to suck.
It's supposed to, and you just got to tell yourself it's worth the price of admission.
It's going to be miserable.
You bought the ticket.
You're going to get the whole show, and it's totally worth it.
But you got to be there at the end.
It is and it isn't because sometimes you get caught up in a moment, you don't even think about it.
You just want to finish that evolution.
So when you're doing a four mile timed run, that was one of the big things.
You have to do a four mile timed run.
It's got to be, I think, a seven minute mile or less.
My morning routine is structured in a way to where I can do that same routine everywhere I go.
And nowhere does it say the condition of the beach matters.
So if it's high tide, low tide, you have to run it on the berm and soft sand.
The time standard is the time standard.
And talk to anybody.
at any point in that training, you are going to hit a wall where you think your heart's gonna stop.
Like if I take one more step, I'll die right here.
Cause your heart rate's so high.
And you're like, I can't do it.
And at some point you just don't care.
You're like,
I'd rather fall stone cold dead in front of all of them and die right here than I would failing or quitting.
Yeah, at least you don't have to go home head hanging in shame.
You just push anyway.
Sometimes you'll get it.
You'll be getting surf tortured by the instructors and just laying on that 60 degree water, just miserable.
And I tell the story quite a bit.
We had dudes getting up and leaving, mass exodus, just in the biggest, strongest dudes.
It's broad daylight, 70 degrees on Coronado Island, the most beautiful day you've ever seen.
We're laying there just jackhammering.
And you look over and all the West Coast SEAL teams are up to your right.
At any point of day, I can lock that thing in, but it all starts with an evening routine.
And you can see SEAL Team 1 out there doing long PT for like their morning PT.
And you could look at down the left and you see the Hotel Del and this little, what I call a seven-year-old with a big pink flamingo jumping in the water, having the best time of their life.
And I'm like, it's all about your perspective, be a palace or a prison, however you want to see it right now.
That, they're still doing it.
That kid, time of their life, and we're in the exact same water.
Just change your mindset.
This is all part of the process.
And if you want to wear that shiny gold thing on your chest, you must do this.
And I remember that was one of the things like, you're not going to break me.
No matter what you say, I'll die right here in this water.
I don't care.
And that mindset has really been beneficial throughout the entire process.
Because there's parts of buds and parts of being in special operations where you think it's going to kill you.
And then at a certain point, you just don't care.
If it kills me, it kills me.
I don't care.
And you get through it.
You know, I'm so terrified of heights.
Like, I can't jump out of the back of this airplane.
You watch 15 guys go in front of you and you get right to the ramp.
Everybody shot up except for me and one other guy, and we're all crowded behind this tractor tire.
So when my phone goes off at 5 a.m.
You go, I don't care.
And you just, for whatever reason, they just jump.
Like, what made you jump?
Everybody else did it.
I didn't want to be the guy who said no.
and I spring feet out of bed, I know exactly what I'm going to do for the next 12 minutes to put myself in position to not be stressed.
Sometimes that performance anxiety, that pressure to perform on demand, it gets you through the hump and it shows you there is nothing.
If it can be done by a human being, I can do it.
And it just, it rings true.
It's like, how far can you run?
As far as I have to.
Well, how fast can you run?
As fast as I can.
If you can run that, I can run it.
If you can get up and over that mountain, I can do it too.
How are you going to do it?
One step at a time, brother.
And it makes you so mentally resilient.
And I think that's really the defining factor is you can make them believe in their mind they can get through anything.
Now, collectively as a group, now you stack 25 of those true believers together, you can do anything.
And I've seen some dudes do some Herculean feats, and they do it just because they're too afraid to say no.
So I've got to power down my home life and I've just got to think about what's coming next.
So laying out the clothes the night before, my bottle of water is filled, my pills are out, my toothbrush is out, everything is set.
Yeah, I get stationed at SEAL Team 10 in Virginia Beach, Virginia.
And we deploy in 2005.
The Iraq war just kicked off.
So we, I check in and it was early 04 and we deployed.
Yeah, we deployed probably seven months later and sent out.
Iraq was phenomenal.
Everything you ever wanted to be, scary, like you don't know anything.
The IEDs were really bad and just, I'm being a really young kid.
I mean, I was storm trooping out of Iraq and 19 years old.
So as soon as I get up, by the time I get to making my morning cup of coffee, I've done 25 things inside of my control.
I mean, you forget how young you are at 19.
And seeing friends get blown up.
If you talk to anybody who was in Iraq, the chances of you not hitting an IED were so rare and we never hit one.
They'd hit the convoy in front of us, the one behind us.
We'd get delayed at the gate for two minutes.
We'd turn and boom, they'd go off in front of you.
They're just not hitting, they're hitting everybody else but you.
And, you know, you would tell yourself things like, oh, the reason they're not doing it is because we look so aggressive because we have flames and death skulls on the Humvees.
It's not that, man.
It's just, it's not your time.
You'd be the best trained dude in the world and that IED hits you.
The lights are over.
On that deployment, we lost all the guys in Operation Red Wings in Afghanistan.
That was the other half of our SEAL team.
That was an idea.
That was the- That was a helicopter that shut down.
And that was so hard to wrap your head around as a 19-year-old.
You got to think, you know, in my mind, I'd essentially been in the community for 19 years up to that point.
And during my dad's time, it was peacetime the whole time.
So you weren't going to funerals all day long.
Like Navy SEALs getting killed was like folklore.
It's like, oh, it's a bad training, a bad parachute accident.
You know, we had Neil Roberts got killed in the early GWAT in Afghanistan, Roberts Ridge.
You ever heard of that story?
That's a gnarly one.
Russell Binsky got the Medal of Honor.
John Chapman, the Air Force guy, got the Medal of Honor.
Gnarly firefight.
But outside of that...
It wasn't happening very often.
And then when all those guys got killed in one shot, it was like a slap of reality.
They were the best dudes you've ever seen.
Like, they were the highest, like, unbelievably trained, unbelievable experience, and they're gone in an instant.
No goodbye, no fanfare, no, you know, holding him, like, tell my mother.
It's nothing like Hollywood.
It wasn't in popular culture.
When the book came out, it started to gain steam, and people started to, you know—
Read more about it.
But for being inside the SEAL teams, that was your own private 9-11.
Every single SEAL cried in an instant, throwing up.
I mean, you cannot believe that just happened.
And then for everybody else who's still fighting the war, you have to try to explain to your wife and your family why that's not going to happen to you.
And it's a lie.
It's not like they did anything wrong.
That's just the way it is.
Sometimes it just happens.
I mean, if I'm out here, I'm on a different time zone and I can change it.
You were married at this point?
I wasn't single, thank God.
Intentionally?
Intentionally, yeah.
I tried to wait as long as humanly possible to try to do that.
Good advice, but it's hard.
It's hard to do that job at full-time and trying to be a full-time boyfriend that turns into a fiance, that turns into a husband, turns into a father.
It's very hard unless you're able to compartmentalize really, really well.
And fortunately for us, that's the thing you're the best at, is I can wall it off so fast and never think about you again.
Now, when you transition out of the military, that's not really a superpower anymore.
In a moment, it served you.
You know, my idol, Matty Roberts, I've talked about him a couple times.
In fact, it probably picks up even more.
You go out the next night, you have to.
You got to keep going.
You got to get back on the horse, keeping going.
The last thing that we wanted is those guys get killed.
Let's pull them all back.
Let's take six months to regroup.
No, no, no, no, no.
We got to go out right now.
Same thing with the parachute accident.
I told you about the electric.
I got to do it right away.
My wife gave me this the other day.
If I don't get back on the horse, I'll just build up this dread and I'll lose my confidence in the whole process.
We have to go.
And NSW did.
Everybody did.
I came home on a red eye.
Full gas, full steam ahead, let's go.
And just kept going.
We did another one in 2007.
If you've seen the stuff with Jason Redman, I talked about my buddy Matty getting shot up.
I didn't walk through the door until 2.30 in the morning.
That 2007 deployment was dicey.
But it's the same thing.
Two of your close friends.
And pretty mangled.
Crazy mangled.
And you start to find out really, really fast that it doesn't matter how much you train,
If your number's called, you're getting pulled.
And it's hard to justify because now you have a girlfriend, you have all this stuff and people are dying and you have to reassure them why it's not going to happen to you.
And you get really good at compartmentalization.
Just, you felt like a victim.
And alarm clock goes off at 5 and she rolls over and she's like, what are you doing?
Like, I can't control that.
The only thing I can control is this.
I'm shooting as much as I can.
I'm doing as much CQB as I can.
I'm jumping as much as I can.
I'm around the boys building team camaraderie as much as humanly possible because I can't control anything else.
control the things you can't control, building confidence.
But reality, when it slaps, it slaps hard, and definitely slapped us.
I'm going to work.
And she's like, you can take a day off.
I'm like, no, I'm not taking a day off.
This last five days is the first time in
Like, I felt helpless.
I mean, the very next day, you couldn't drive on the compound.
Every news channel across America was sitting outside of that thing.
And not only are they taking photos, everybody comes in.
They know what you look like.
as long as I can, 20 years, that I've actually taken five days of not working out when I had the physical ability to do it.
They're looking for guys with long hair, beards, covered in tattoos, driving jacked-up pickup trucks.
That's what they're looking for.
And now you can't go anywhere.
Now they're going out in town to all the bars and restaurants you go to, and they're pulling you aside, asking you.
It's very uncomfortable.
They'll see wives in there with a little Trident stick on the back of their car.
They'll nail her in a Whole Foods parking lot.
It's your husband in ABC.
Nobody's ever done this before.
It's like, mum's the word.
Everybody kind of just collapsed on ourselves and really, really tried to hush this thing down.
But it made the job very, very difficult.
It felt like you were just under a microscope the entire time.
And then when extortion happened,
Then everybody started that it was an inside job.
Yeah, I mean, you know, we had Operation Red Wings that happened June 28, 2005.
You had a bunch of really historic things that led up after that.
I've never taken five days off because I'm so afraid my mental health will drop.
You had the rescue of Captain Phillips in 2009.
That was a huge milestone win.
Like, everybody's cool.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And they made a movie.
They made a movie, and it's great.
You know, I'm getting rounds poured all over me, and at a certain point, you just go, I'd rather run back into the front of this thing and get killed with all of them than be the lone survivor.
But nobody in the teams is on social media.
They're not on... I didn't watch a YouTube video my entire time in the SEAL teams.
Like, what do I watch a YouTube video for?
Like, nobody knew how bad it was spinning outside of your control.
Bin Laden happens...
And then August 6th, 2011, we lose an entire troop of guys in Afghanistan.
Something will happen if I leave that routine.
Hilo gets shot down, kills them all in an instant, killed 31 total people.
And it was like we were reliving June 28th again.
But now it's double as bad.
And now you truly have the best that have ever suited up.
If you look at the experience level they have, most of those guys were pre-911 guys, 10, 12 combat rotations, gone, gone.
You'll never replace it.
You've never filled that void since that moment.
So I wake up, unplug my phone, shut off the alarm.
And then you have all these people just hateful rhetoric, like, oh, it was an inside job.
And, you know, they knew too much.
They knew they were on the bin Laden raid, so we killed them.
Do you know how hard that is to live in Virginia Beach, doing that job, seeing those wives at Whole Foods wearing a memorial T-shirt, knowing you're saying that?
Do you know what that does to a family?
You know what that does to little kids who wake up and they read the comment section?
I walk in, toothpaste on toothbrush.
Mom, was dad killed?
Was he killed by the government?
That's what they read because that's what you're saying.
And it's not the truth.
It's just not.
That was an op that went wrong.
It's a dangerous job.
And when you fly into those big, gigantic black helicopters and they're slow to land, you can shoot them.
And that's what happened.
And it's as simple as that.
It's a dangerous job.
Like, what are you going to do?
But it is very hard to live in Virginia Beach.
That is so small.
Everywhere you go, it's around you.
I go to the bathroom while I'm brushing my teeth, spit it out, all the pills I gotta take in the morning, you know, vitamin D, all the stuff I take.
I mean, you're sitting through black t-shirts all day long.
Which memorial shirt are you going to wear?
And now you get there, now people are starting to erode that from you.
And it really starts to lose your confidence.
So for me, now I'm married.
I'm in the organization.
We had to fill a lot of those guys from other squadrons.
And one of my best friends had to go over.
And unfortunately, he got killed.
December 8, 2012, on a hostage rescue.
Ed Byers got the Medal of Honor for that operation.
My buddy got the Navy Cross.
And, you know, we went through buds together.
His name was Nick Check.
One of the greatest, most pure operators you have ever met.
Came from Pennsylvania, big wrestler, always in a gym, always training.
He represented what the essence of being a Navy SEAL was, and everyone knew it.
When he died, a piece of me died that I've never gotten back.
I'm trying not to cry.
The hardest thing I've ever had to do was look at my wife and tell her that it wasn't gonna happen to me after he died, because he was the true north.
So when she looks at me and she goes, well, the reason you're away from us, the reason you spend 300 days on the road is because you're perfecting this craft, because you say it buys down the risk.
And then I get dressed.
What about that?
And you can't justify it.
You just look at it and you're like, I just hope it's not my time.
I'm just gonna try to exhaust all my resources right now to put myself in the best position surrounded by the best people to buy down as much risk as humanly possible.
Left sock, right sock, right shoe.
If my number's called, it's called.
What do you want me to do?
And that's where the compartmentalization really took hold.
You have to be able to leave Virginia Beach, your wife, your two kids, and completely block them out.
I can't run through that door with bullets coming out of it thinking about my wife and kids and how I'm going to orphan them.
I don't have pictures in my room.
I'm not trying to FaceTime all the time.
I'm trying to separate myself out so I can just do this job.
Everything I do, I do it in a very specific order.
And it makes you really distant.
It makes you not be the person you want to be or the person you used to be because you can't.
You've been the person you need to be in order to eventually be able to go back and become the person you want to be is what it sounds like to me.
And, you know, I say to the guys now, and it'll sound messed up, so forgive me, but
I never chased a guy who had a perfect family.
Even the way I put on my bracelets.
There was never a Navy SEAL I ever wanted to emulate who had the picture perfect family ever.
They were all either on their second marriage, bad relationship with their kids because they were so devout at work.
And you looked at them like,
That's a masterclass.
It's like watching Tiger Woods drag around his golf bag.
If I put them on in the wrong order, I'll stop and I'll de-jock them all and I'll redawn them.
That's the best it's ever been, ever.
And he has no 50-50.
There is no dial for that man.
He is living this at 100%.
And the moment he retires, I really hope he takes all that energy, all that focus, and becomes a better husband and father.
But you can't do it both ways.
My mind has come to change now.
but I've never seen it.
And I most certainly had no balance.
I wasn't even trying to find balance.
I was trying to wall them off as much as humanly possible to focus on the task at hand because any distraction was dangerous.
And it's hard to do, but it was necessary at the time.
Just because that's one simple thing.
I'm not rushed.
I'm not under duress.
I'm in control this entire timeline.
And that way, when I get to the kitchen, I don't feel like I'm frantic.
Where are my keys?
Where's my wallet?
Where's my bag?
everything's in a system right now to where i can step in that car i'm not stuck behind a school bus my car has gas in it my phone's at a hundred percent because we've all been there everybody's a normal person i wake up my wife wants to have a 15-minute conversation that puts me behind that school bus and i'm typically not behind now i'm late for my first meeting i've got to rush through my workout i don't have time to take a shower all that is going to cascade it's going to put me to be the person i don't want to be when i have to walk into that first meeting
Yeah, I mean, just imagine it.
Like, you're a 14-year-old kid, and you've grown up worshiping your father, and he gets killed in Afghanistan.
And you see a post about him.
You start to read down, like, he was killed by his government, by this and this and this.
mom mom it raises doubt and then that little seed of doubt is going to be with him forever it's like it takes the entire collective like listen to me they they've never even met a navy seal dude that's some kid in the middle of nowhere who's typing his mother's basement who's just writing some hateful stuff it's not real it's hard to block it out when there's 500 of them
I think it was irrelevant, but just because the timing you came in, you know, spent his entire time at peacetime.
It's like I'm trying to optimize everything that's within my control.
I did nothing but combat the entire time.
A lot of deployments back and back, back, never took a shore duty station just by –
that amount of experience, you already surpassed it.
But it doesn't need to be said.
Why not leave?
So when I step through the threshold, this is a DJ that I'm purposely presenting to you right now under my control.
At that time, it's so different because a lot of people think about special operations in the Global War on Terror is the Marines pushing through Fallujah, broad daylight just getting smashed.
Those are the bravest dudes that served during the GWAT.
The Marines.
There is nothing more impressive than a 19-year-old Marine and the things they'll do.
They just are.
They're heroes of mine.
My experience in a GWAT was very different.
It's always at night, it's always, you know, select targets.
It's not like they're like, hey, you and your team are gonna go raid this village.
And that really sets the entire framework for the whole day of being in a good headspace.
No, we're going for a very, very specific person.
And then when you look at it, Hemingway said it best, once you've hunted armed men long enough and liked it, you'll never care for anything else thereafter.
There is nothing like hunting a human being who's hunting you, nothing.
and you are so afraid you're gonna miss it.
So that's why you hide injuries.
You don't get surgery.
You do everything you can to put yourself in position to be on the op, to not miss the deployment.
And I think that's what it is in the essence is,
You know, you have all the Intel folks and all the technology that are giving you this one thing and you just stare at them.
I know everything about you, where you live, your secondary house, everybody you talk to, your right-handed, left-handed, how many windows, how many doors, the inward opening, outward openings, your storm doors.
I'm controlling the things that are controllable and the things that I can't control.
What's the windows made?
I know everything about you.
And then we know exactly when we're going to go get you.
We know you're bad.
We know everything you've done.
I know everything you've said on that phone for the last six months.
I know everything there is to know about you and we are coming to get you.
And when you're successful, it becomes addictive.
And you just keep chasing that feeling like, I am pulling these people off the earth and it makes a difference.
I'm not just, I'm not carpet bombing anything.
Like that one singular dude has done all of this.
We have to remove him.
And it makes you feel like you're important.
It makes you feel like people actually need you and you chase it for as long as possible.
I don't think about them anymore.
My buddy Jimmy Hatch wrote a book called Chasing a Dragon.
And that's what it's like.
You chase them long enough, you'll find them.
I block them out.
And you don't want to jump off that train.
You're so afraid in the teams, in special operations, the military does a really good job of painting a narrative that if you leave this, your life is over.
There's nothing that's going to surpass this.
The SEAL teams are the only thing you know how to do.
And it's the only thing you'll ever feel at home.
And it's the truth.
You get guys to get out and they go work at Goldman Sachs and they do this and they do that.
If you really get a couple beers in them and you sit down, they're miserable.
They miss it.
Even all the stuff you didn't like, the things you hated about the military and the people you hated working for.
At the end of the, you don't remember any of that.
You only remember the good times.
And because you had, you know, the entire time at war, the whole aspect, the whole career was just amazing.
You know, standing on the shoulders of giants.
I've got to work with people that are the greatest thing you'll never get to see.
Like there's 12 people on the planet that were there that saw that thing and we won't even address it because it's not cool if you address it.
I cannot believe you just pulled that off.
That's the most impressive thing I've ever seen in my life and you don't even talk about it.
Like the regular people never get to see the level of detail that goes into doing that job.
They see it on a flat range shoot or whatever and they're like, oh, I can do that.
But you can't jump out of 35,000 feet at night into a place you've never seen and been to it.
But you can't do that.
Like, you know how hard it is to put yourself in a position to do that operation?
They have no idea.
And they're shooting back at you.
This is a two-way range.
This isn't airsoft.
It's not Call of Duty.
Like, those are real people.
That dude has five kids, and he's going through that threshold, regardless of what's coming out of him, without a second thought.
It's amazing to see.
And I said it to a group of guys the other day.
You know, when the tower fell—
I've never felt more patriotic in my life.
In those moments, you never think about the flag.
You never think about the American people.
You never think about that.
You think you do it for the country.
You really do it and you stay doing it for the culture.
The culture of the SEAL teams was worth every ounce you had to pay for it.
And every other group will tell you the exact same thing.
The culture is what keeps you there.
You're so afraid to leave it because you know you're never going to find it anywhere else.
That was the same way.
I mean, when me and my old lady were going through our worst moments, I told her, I was like, if you don't like to train, jump.
I'm not stopping for you.
And that's why I was really concerned when we first got together because she was married to Danny Deeds, was on Operation Red Wings on the ground.
Her dad was a SEAL.
I mean, we were embedded in this thing.
You guys both came up in it.
Oh, yeah, man.
Like, we're embedded in this.
And, you know, I met her three years after Danny passed.
I didn't know Danny.
I didn't know her.
Mutual friends.
We connected around 2008, 2009.
I told her when we first, I fell in love with her instantly.
And it scared me because I was getting ready to screen and try to go with the tier one command.
And the pace was so fast.
And I was so worried that she'd look at me one day and go, I can't do this again.
And I wasn't going to leave it for her.
And I told her that, don't ever ask me to leave because I won't.
It's like, if you don't want to do this, I get it.
Like we can be best friends.
We can do whatever, but I'm not leaving this for you.
And that was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
And for whatever reason, she's a unicorn.
She has been the quintessential team wife above and beyond.
Every deployment, full steam ahead.
Hot water heater blows up, tree falls to the minivan, she doesn't even tell me, she just solves it.
She's amazing.
And I still blocked her out like I did everything else because I still thought that my love for her was a distraction.
And like those are the times I look back on and I regret.
But in the moment, I don't think I'd change it.
I don't think I could.
I don't think I could do that job at the level that was required to do it and have that love hanging around my neck.
I couldn't do it.
It all ended up working out in the wash, but it's hard, man.
It's hard to sit there and just wait for your number to get called and just hope it doesn't.
The best dudes in the world are getting killed.
It's not lack of training.
It's not lack of funding.
It's not lack of experience.
It's not lack of commitment.
It's a dangerous job, man.
That's what it is.
It's a super dangerous job and people are trying to kill you all day long.
You just hope that you're better than they are.
But some days it happens regardless.
And it's hard.
It's hard putting guys on the ground, especially when you've grown up with them your whole life.
You definitely picked the right woman.
I lassoed a unicorn.
I had a lot of emotional stuff happen to me in that second deployment.
You know, my idol, Matty Roberts, I've talked about him a couple times.
I really, really hung on to that dude.
Like he was my true north.
He was the guy.
And when he got shot up,
When you see it happen, his arm shot off.
It flipped around his shoulder.
It looked like his arm was completely gone.
My fingers were inside his arm.
We're trying to solve this thing.
They're shooting at us from really, really close proximity.
And I think it still has the record.
I have to ask Jay Redman, but I think that was the closest call for fire mission the entire Iraq war.
Like inside 15 meters.
I mean, Cordy Mike Mike, my AC-130 gunship.
I mean, it was on top of you.
A bell-fed machine gun just chewing us up.
Everybody shot up except for me and one other guy.
And we're all crowded behind this tractor tire, just felt like a victim.
And at one point, right when the initial contact happened, I sprinted to a tree and got a piece of cover.
So there's me, three guys that are all shot up, and one other guy who's behind this tractor tire.
And I'm screaming at him like, hey, I've got an out, come over here.
And he screams out in Blackhawk down like, nope, come to me.
you're looking back at it you can see all the muzzle flash and just the way it happened you had blue forces or friendlies that were in behind him so you couldn't shoot into this veg line because you knew there were friendlies that were back there so you're in this weird dance where i can't do anything like i felt helpless you know i'm getting rounds poured all over me and at a certain point you just go
I'd rather run back into the front of this thing and get killed with all of them than be the lone survivor.
I don't want to walk through this.
I don't want to live with the survivor's guilt.
I'd rather just run back up and let's just catch it and be done with it.
And I ran right back into the center of it and dropped down behind that tire and started working all the guys back and putting on tourniquets and quick clot and all the stuff.
When I came back from that, I was mentally scarred for the rest of my life.
And I just never, ever processed it.
I just blocked it off.
Because it was so close?
I think because it was the first time I felt helpless.
Like I was just waiting to die.
Like the guy that I looked up that I wanted to be like, like he was a physical representation of what I thought the essence of being a Navy SEAL was.
And he's dying in my arms.
And I can't shoot back.
I mean, we're hunkered down in rounds.
We're just skipping all over you.
And you're just, if that JTAC wouldn't have called in a fire mission, we'd all be dead.
I mean, it's only a matter of time before he stands up and just realizes he can just walk us down.
I mean, there's no illum, night vision's all messed up at this point.
I mean, everything that could have went wrong, went wrong.
And now we're inside of 10 meters getting pounded by a belt fed machine gun.
You can't move.
And it was the first time in my life I truly felt helpless.
And everything worked out.
Everybody ended up surviving it.
We got them in the helicopter and did all that.
I just think I never got an opportunity to ever talk about it.
And when I went back home, you know, you're taking a shower.
The showers in Iraq aren't the best, as you can imagine.
And I'm standing here in ankle-deep sludge water that's just filled with blood.
I mean, it's all in my mouth.
It's all over my hair.
And I remember taking the shower and just seeing it all and not knowing if he lived or not and thinking, do I want to be washing this off?
Because if they call me in 20 minutes and tell me he's dead, this is the last piece of him I have.
So I saved the camis, I saved the boot, I saved the shirts, I saved everything I wore.
I shoved it on the bag and I kept it in case he died.
But it was hard, man.
Like the back of that helicopter looked like Black Hawk Down.
Just blowout kits and tourniquets and magazines and rounds all over it and just the most blood I've ever seen.
And you're just slipping and sliding in it, just like out of the movies.
I just keep pushing.
And it's not.
It's dudes that you've wrapped your arms around and told you I've loved you a hundred times.
You're like,
This is not what I thought it was gonna be like.
I just keep myself in motion the entire time.
I didn't think this was gonna be like this.
I didn't, because I'd never seen it.
My dad has never been through that.
None of his friends ever went through that.
Now I am this 20 year old kid and this is what I'm living with.
And it was hard because you got to walk back in the culture of the SEAL teams.
And we're not talking about that.
Nobody's ever addressing that.
When you see him, you know, you always make a joke like, hey, can you scream any louder?
Like, I'm surprised we all don't get killed by how loud you were yelling.
You always make a joke about it.
It wasn't a joke, man.
I was traumatized.
Like, I worship that guy.
And I talk about dials, not switches a lot with people.
And to see the reality, like, he's not Superman and neither am I. Fortunately for me, he did the most heroic thing I've ever seen.
And that moment has stuck with me forever.
When that initial contact happened, everybody got shot, including him.
And he stood back up and ran forward and grabbed our corpsman, who was all shot up, and started dragging him back.
And it sounds selfish, but I have to be selfish right now in order to be selfless later.
And I watched it happen.
Gets shot again, spins him, drops him on the floor, and he gets right back up.
Picks him up again, gets shot.
Arm spins over his shoulder, keeps dragging him back, gets shot again.
Hits the ground, gets back up, keeps dragging him.
It's like at no point was he ever going to leave that dude.
Could he have?
He could have ran dough behind that tractor tire and sent me out there to go fetch him.
He was so committed to the process of I am never going to leave you.
If he would have took one right in the head and he would have died right then, he would have never bat an eye about it.
If he would have known the outcome, he would have went in any way.
And that part has stuck me the entire time.
Like, a true believer will go further than anyone else in the moment of total duress because they're conditioned to it.
He's already made up in his mind how far you're willing to go the entire way right now.
I'm just looking for an opportunity to prove it.
And that was his moment to prove it.
So I tell guys, you know...
He proved it to everybody.
And still to this day, I mean, probably still my biggest inspiration in the entire team is Matt Roberts.
Unbelievable human.
I'm trying to get emotional, but yeah.
Just an amazing human.
As soon as that alarm clock goes off, I'm not thinking about my wife.
I'm not thinking about my kids.
I'm thinking about being as efficient as humanly possible.
And I'm trying to hit that gym so I unrack at 07, the best version of me.
And I can't do it if I'm thinking about a fight or an argument we had with the wife the night before, the kids and this and that.
Bad guess, Andrew.
My first major injury, I made it all the way through.
Came in in 2002.
In 2010, I was going through selection to the Tier 1 organization.
I have to be selfish right now because it's the only block I'm going to have for me to optimize myself.
And about three-quarters of the way through, we do a big skydive block out in Arizona.
And I love jumping.
It's my jam.
And I had a bad landing.
Downwind landing, hit this ravine, and I snapped my femoral neck, broke that thing.
And I was so afraid they were going to wash me out of the program.
I just didn't say anything.
So I can barely walk.
I can't drive a car.
I mean, it's full atrophy.
I'm jacked up on so many Toradols, Tramadols, 800 milligram Motrin that I'm able to get through and jump.
They know something's wrong with me, but they know I'm not going to quit.
They know I'm not going to ask for any help.
So as long as I can pass the evolutions, we're good.
And all I have to do is jump.
We graduate that, you know, we get drafted and all the different organizations you're going to go to.
And I walked into rehab and I went, okay, now that that's over, my back's broken.
Because at 10 a.m., I'm going to get pulled from 50 different directions.
And they were like, oh.
Why do you say that?
And they told him, we had gotten an MRI on my hip when we were in Arizona and nothing showed up.
They were like, I think you tore your hip flexor.
And I was like, oh, if I tore my hip flexor, I don't care, we're good.
I thought it was my back.
We get home, they run new images and my femoral neck is snapped off.
And you know the deal, you lose a femoral neck, blood supply, total hip replacement, you're out of the military.
And I walked in, saw the doctor and he's sitting there in front of my command master chief and all the rehab guys and he goes, hey,
We got emergency surgery for you tomorrow morning, 07.
And he's like, what?
I'm not getting surgery.
I've never had surgery.
It's the exact same thing when I go home.
I'm not getting surgery.
I got deployment coming up.
I'm not doing that.
And my command master chief looked at me and he goes, let me rephrase this.
You're getting surgery tomorrow at 07.
If you don't, I'm going to shit candy out of the program.
It's like, oh.
okay, what is it?
And he's like 15 inches of titanium, three lag bolts.
We're going to pump them in there.
So now between the hours of 10 a.m.
Here's a rehab protocol.
You're still going to deploy.
And, you know, I think it was a month and a half and we did, but I got through from the time I broke it.
I did another 85 skydives on it and went through Utah.
and 6 p.m., I'm only thinking about work.
I mean, up and up and down that crazy elevation, just really just sucking it up.
But it was a test for,
Mental resiliency, how far are you willing to push to be a part of the organization the entire way?
Did your teammates know you had a broken femur?
We got through, we did emergency surgery, had a nasty complication, got infected, you know, wound backs, the whole thing.
And they were so cool.
They flew a rehab guy over to Afghanistan with me and that's how we tested out.
I don't think about my wife.
I don't think about my kids.
you know, the final test, like we're doing VO2 maxes and broad jumps and all the things, make sure your hip can take it.
And the very last thing was this huge box, probably a 48 inch box.
I only think about the team and everything we're trying to do.
We've got full kit on.
And he looks at me, his name's Mike.
And he goes, okay, we're going to have you drop off this and land on the bad leg.
And he goes, DJ, do not step off that box.
If you don't think it'll hold, I knew it wouldn't hold.
There's no way it's going to hold.
Like it feels so bad inside me.
Stepped off it.
It felt like a bolt of lightning went through me.
And I looked at him, and he went, how do you feel?
I went, 100%.
Got my stuff, got in the helicopter.
At 6, you can watch, and I tell everybody, if you would put a hidden camera in my car, it'd break the Internet.
Made it through all that.
The screws ended up backing out, going through my T-band a couple months later.
Had to have another surgery.
It was just a long history of things that happened to me.
But it really got you used to, we talked about it before, are you hurt or are you injured?
I got to the point very, very fast in a SEAL team, so I could not tell the difference.
I don't know the difference.
Everything hurts.
Everything's got a limitation and I'm just pushing through it regardless.
And again, it's not like I'm a unicorn.
The amount of people that need major reconstructive surgeries, eight out of 10, everybody needs it.
And they just don't do it because you have a deployment coming up or you have a trip you can't miss or something going on the way you can't miss it.
So you sacrifice yourself.
Just don't do it.
The same thing was happening.
So I had a gnarly shoulder dislocation, blew it out, had to have major reconstructive surgery.
I do it every day.
I had an abdomen wound, four rounds of plastic surgery, couldn't get it to close.
All the complications are happening.
After the shoulder surgery, it was so bad.
I slam that car in the park.
Medical retirement was imminent.
So, hey, we're going to medically retire you.
Same benefits if you do 20 years, but you can't do this job anymore.
They wanted to fuse my lower back, my neck, shoulder surgery, shoulder surgery, double hip surgery.
I put my phone on do not disturb.
So I had three years of surgeries lined up.
And it's like, I'm not going to sit here in rehab for three years doing surgeries, taking up a slot.
I'm not doing it.
I was like, I'll just get out.
I'll retire and I'll deal with it on my own.
That's kind of the whole process.
So I got put on a laundry list of medications, 60-something pills a day, probably 25, 30 different prescriptions we were on.
I check social.
I mean, Cymbalta, Adderall, Gabapin, heavy, heavy doses.
I check all my texts.
They got you on antidepressants.
And, yeah, Cymbalta, when you come off Cymbalta, it gives you the jolts.
Cymbalta's a treat.
I've been on everything.
Amitriptyline to sleep taking a heavy dose of those Ambien obviously everything everything in between you take it all and you don't realize that
There's no phone calls, and I've got a 12-minute drive from door to door.
you're smashed all day because you're not hitting alcohol.
You don't realize that you're processing pharmaceuticals 24 hours a day, every single day, 52 weeks out a year.
You don't realize it.
You're not sober.
And that was my hardest thing to kind of walk away with is I came out of this rehab program.
Those 12 minutes, I put on Chris Stapleton, something that makes me feel good, that calms me down, and I pre-rehearse everything that's going to happen the moment I hit that garage door opener.
They put me on these medications and I felt like a million bucks.
I got really hurt in 2013.
amnesia, forgetting where I was at.
And I went down, they gave me these pills, and I felt like Jesus came down and touched me.
You gave me Adderall and Cymbalta.
Okay, what else you have?
Oh, we got this, we got this.
Give them to me.
Steliate, ganglion blocks in my throat, give it to me.
Reiki, give it to me.
Anything you have, I'll do it.
There's not a protocol on the planet I have not done.
And I've done them at 100% full value.
And they buy you a little bit of relief.
We got to the point where I was taking so many different medications, a bunch of them you were not allowed to take together.
And I had a new doctor came in.
He's trying to refill all my prescriptions.
And he's like, you can't take these four medications in combination.
He's like, it'll give you a stroke, DJ.
It'll kill you.
And I went, well, it's 2019.
I've been taking them since 2010.
I have to keep taking them.
He's like, you're going to have to do a med washout.
They send me down to Walter Reed, the 70s.
It's a neurobehavioral ward.
I don't know that.
I think it's like a team guy clinic where we're going to go work on shoulder mobility and whatever else because I just came after.
Sorry, I couldn't help it.
Oh, I mean, you know, I was – you don't know, right?
I don't know.
I go down there.
They start taking my shoelaces.
They take everything I have in my –
What is this?
I mean, there's fighter pilots that are in there.
There's Green Berets that are in there.
Like, I went through Sears school.
I don't need this.
Sears school, it's torture training.
And I'm like, I don't know why I'm doing this.
They don't tell me it's a neurobehavioral ward.
They tell me it's for a med washout.
He's like, hey, you're going to go there.
He's like, you're going to focus on shoulder rehab because that was a gnarly shoulder surgery.
I do it every single day.
He's like, they're going to focus on that.
We'll get you washed out of all these meds.
We'll come back.
You'll be in a good spot.
Medical retirement.
Transition next phase.
I went into that hospital broken.
My eyes were jet black.
I was 180 pounds, just death warmed over.
I didn't want to do anything.
And I laid in that hospital bed and I had these, I had the most amazing nursing staff.
And I had laid down that bed and I started getting sick.
And I was like, food poisoning, throwing up.
pissing myself.
I mean, the whole thing.
And I remember throwing up in this bucket and beautiful black nurse has this wet washcloth and she's washing my face off.
And I was like, I don't know what I ate.
I was like, I'm so sorry.
I feel so embarrassed.
And she's like, it's okay.
And I was like, I haven't eaten anything.
I was like, I never get food poisoning.
She's like, oh, honey, it's okay.
And I can remember the look she gave me.
Like, you have no idea why you're here.
I was like that for probably 10 days.
Around the 10th or 11th day, I finally came out of my room.
I got sunglasses on.
My photophobia was so bad.
If you shine light in my eyes, I'd throw up.
My TBI was controlling everything I had.
I pull into the driveway, I slam it back in park, I check my phone one more time, and I tell myself, you're only going to have three hours from six to nine to be the person they need you to be.
Wasn't sleeping, had insomnia, had everything you could have.
And that was the first time in a decade I had been truly sober.
No booze, no nicotine, no pharmaceuticals of any kind.
And that was my baseline.
And if you would have given me the ability, I would have closed out that chapter right then.
I could not believe what I had done to myself, what I had turned myself into.
And there's no way to get better.
Like, I'm stuck like this, and now you're going to kick me out of the only thing that I've ever loved.
What am I supposed to do now?
And we started spinning up art therapy.
So I had been there before.
We'd done art therapy before, and I found it really beneficial.
Actually, the Red Cross used to bring me in dogs.
They'd bring me in a St.
Bernard, drop in my bedroom, and I'd do dog therapy for a little bit.
And she's like, do you want to do art therapy?
And I was like, I'd love to.
And she's like, well, what do you want?
I was like, I'd really love a skateboard.
And they snuck me out of that hospital, not supposed to, and they drove me down this little skate shop right outside of Walter Reed.
And there's a skate shop there.
And I walk in, you know, I've got my gown and stuff on, like I'm all jacked up, hair's super long, beard's long.
I look like a hobo.
And I told the guy my story.
I was like, hey, I grew up skateboarding.
It was my passion.
And I really would love to have a skateboard just to paint, do art therapy.
You've got to be a full-time dad right now.
So he gives me a bunch of blank skateboards and I go back and I'm paper mache.
I'm doing hands coming out of them, just a bunch of really dark demonic stuff.
But I felt so good.
When I came out, my best friend, Cole Fackler, same guy I started Tribe Skates with and GVRS with, we went to Bud's together.
He grew up in Virginia Beach with me.
So we've been thick as thieves for 25 years now.
You've got to be a full-time husband.
And he's like, well, open up an LLC.
He opens up the backside and he's like, let's just make skateboarding your art therapy.
And I don't get it right every time.
So we had an artist come on board.
We'd start drawing, you know, motivational things, you know, old school UDT stuff for firemen, stuff for police officers, memorial skateboards.
Some days I drag that stuff home with me, two-hand texting frantically, but I really try not to.
And then I found fracture burning.
So you essentially take a microwave transformer, pull it out, and you hook it up to jumper cables and then run a lead out to an octopus outlet like 110.
So when I clip it on top of the wood and I pour an electrolyte solution on it, Coca-Cola, baking soda with warm water was my favorite.
And I hit it, it'll burn the wood grain and they'll connect.
Scrub all that out, fill with resin, just make these beautiful pieces.
And that was my art therapy.
I could sit there and burn skateboards all day, every day.
It was amazing.
It truly changed my life.
And I don't know why I didn't grow up around electricity.
Obviously, I'm not very good at it.
It was something about having to sit there and sand the lacquer off that skateboard.
I mean, I'd buy brand new skateboards.
I'd sand the entire graphic off of it, and then we'd burn them.
You'd have to sand them off.
You'd have to rinse them, wait 24 hours, pour the resin, wait 24 hours, sand them off, pour it again, 24 hours.
I mean, it's a seven-day process to make one board.
And we'd bring in guys who were transitioning.
And before I hit that garage door, I tell myself, like, they don't know what's going on.
They'd do it too.
It was their form of art therapy, and I felt like I was making a difference.
And I'm scheduled to retire at the end of August 2019.
This is Father's Day.
So was that in the... It's like mid-June, is that right?
Something like that?
Right before I'm scheduled to retire.
Father's Day morning around 9 a.m.
I've been up since 5, burning skateboards.
I've got a big bay window that looks out in my backyard, and I've got these seesaws set up with these boards.
And I've got an EOD guy, explosive ordnance guy from the Navy.
He's making paddles for retirement.
So he comes over, they're covered in lacquer.
And I'm like, yo, my man, I can't burn them while they have the lacquer.
So he's got to sand her out.
They don't know the stress you're at at work.
I've been burning, so I unplug my machine.
He plugs into my octopus outlet and is sanding down the lacquer.
When he's done, I'll clip in.
I'll burn him real quick.
He'll finish him off.
And my wife, I'll never forget, I look up, and she bangs on the window, and she's like, it's Father's Day.
We're supposed to go eat brunch.
And I was like, last burn.
She's had her own day.
He had unplugged the sander and plugged in my machine into the Oxford outlet, and now there's a charge going to it.
It's sitting on the ground.
I don't know it.
They've had their own day.
And the way I run the protocol is there's no electricity running to it, so you can put these things in your mouth, there's no electricity.
So I pick them up to adjust them, because then I'm going to walk back, plug it in, everybody's clear, flick the outlet, and when I readjusted them, the whole thing lit me up.
I've got a daughter in seventh grade.
I had him in both hands.
You closed the circuit.
So they were live on the lead, just sitting on the ground.
I didn't know it.
So I went to readjust him.
I made contact with him, and it spun me around, and I faced him about this far away.
And I can remember the back of my head was trying to touch my tailbone, and I was trying to fight it.
I've got another one in second grade.
I could feel my teeth heating up.
And I was squeezing this thing as hard as I could, and I heard a pop, pop.
And I step back, that was my collarbone shattering from flex, my scapula, they both shattered.
But in the process, you take a hose and you wash off all the ash.
So right behind me is ankle deep standing water.
Like, you know, we've got to work through this whole thing together and sleep.
And now I'm holding on to this thing.
I step back and my wife, both my kids are turned around watching me from eight feet away.
I pop up, I levitate and it launches me about 20 feet across my backyard, still holding onto the leads.
He, thank God, has the wherewithal to unplug it.
So when I wake up, my hair's standing straight up, my hands are smoking, and I exhale, and all this smoke came out of my mouth.
And I remember laying on the ground and he's right in my face and he goes, do you know where you're at?
And I said, on the ground.
And he went, can you move?
And I went, my shoulder's dislocated for sure.
what version of me do I want to present to them right now?
And he went, can you set up?
And I went, help me.
And he pulled me up.
And as soon as he put pressure on there, I could feel my scapula just gravel.
I could feel this all hinging in there.
My hands are smoking.
So it blew out of my finger, blew out of this thumb.
It fused my tendon to the nerve bundle.
So it was stuck like this.
I couldn't move anything up here.
I'm going to walk in, bags over my right shoulder.
He stands me up, and I tell him I'm going to drive myself to the hospital.
My wife is freaking out.
They're trying to unplug the machine.
My kids are running out there, and I don't want them to see me like this.
I don't have a shirt on.
I don't even have shoes on.
I've just got a pair of shorts, and my shorts are on fire.
So I had little –
Ingrown hairs, my thighs.
I'm going to clear the threshold and make an immediate 90 degree turn.
Electricity was shooting out of those and caught my shorts on fire.
Anywhere I had them.
So out of the top of my head, one next to my nether region.
I mean, just exit shots coming out of my body.
I don't know anything about electricity, but it's not good.
And I take a turn and I've probably got to walk maybe...
35, 40 feet to my car.
And there's going to be that seven year old.
So he's in there with my wife trying to get the keys, trying to get me in there.
And I turned and I stepped to the door.
Have you seen Kill Bill?
Remember the five finger death touch, five steps.
I took one step and everything went.
I took another one and it started closing and everything started going black.
I was like, oh God, third step.
And I was like, oh no, fourth, fifth.
And she's a huge ball of energy.
And I'm looking through a toilet paper straw and I'm like,
Oh my God, I took one more step and everything went black and I was in total blindness staying out there.
I'm opening my eyes as wide as I can and I'm panicking.
I can hear my wife running through the house screaming.
I can hear him running around screaming, trying to get everything together.
And I'm stuck on the side of my house like this is shaking.
She gets all shaken.
I can't see anything.
And I start power breathing as deep and as hard as I can.
And I saw a little speck of light and I just kept doing it, just forcing it, inhale through my nose and mouth, just power as much as I can.
She runs at me at full blast.
It started to open up, open up, open up.
And probably 20 breaths into it, it was like I had superhuman vision.
And I pick her up, shake her, kiss her, like 100% love.
It was like I was interconnected with everything on the planet.
It was like I had a DMT trip.
Everything was super vibrant.
I was totally aware of my whole body.
I knew everything that just happened to me.
I could recall things from in the past.
And I knew everything was going to be fine.
I walk right over the truck.
I open up the car.
I get inside it.
We hit every single speed bump and pothole from there until the ER.
Just jostling around.
Shoulders, excuse me, plural.
Take an immediate right in the kitchen.
So I walked to the ER, and Princess Anne Sentara in Virginia Beach has an amazing staff.
What they also have is a staff of really, really beautiful nurses.
but now it's COVID.
So everybody has a mask on and all you can see are their eyes.
And they had the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen.
There's my oldest, usually eating something before homework's about to start.
And I'm laying on my back, you know, I walk in and they can see it.
Like if one of the nurses made a comment, like, who brought in barbecue?
And it's my hands.
Like they're melted, like they're smoking.
It's so bad.
Like it's making me nauseous to think about it.
They get me in that table and I'll never forget this nurse came over and spun her face and she goes, I'm so surprised you still have a penis.
I said, what?
And she went, honey, when you get electrocuted, usually fingers come off, your nose comes off, everything comes off you.
And she's like, as far as we can tell, you're intact.
Give her a kiss, give her a hug, ask her how her day was.
You haven't lost anything right now.
She's like, move your fingers.
I'm moving everything.
Open my mouth.
Can you hear?
And she's like,
Okay, well, here we go.
They transfer me.
I think I took an ambulance ride.
I kind of blacked out for a little bit.
And then I woke up in the burn unit in Norfolk and I had the specialist came in.
My wife is now with me.
Straight to the room to see my wife.
We're laying there, double slings, trying to identify how bad everything is.
They know we've got to do an emergency surgery on all this.
And he goes, DJ,
So this is after my two months with Vernon.
So this is the best physical condition I've ever been in.
So I came from 180, now I'm 220, 6% body fat.
I'm in phenomenal shape.
I don't need to retire.
I could probably still suit it up again.
And now I'm laying in this hospital bed.
I'll have to show you the photos.
He walks in, he's like, you know what rhabdo is?
Because she gets like a 30 minute buffer before she has to go upstairs and lock in with seventh grade homework.
And I said, yeah.
And he goes, when you get electrocuted, your body releases an enzyme.
Everybody has, but it multiplies rapidly and your muscles liquefy and they go toxic.
Then it goes septic and you die.
Your issue is you're a big dude.
If these enzyme markers hit this level, I got to start cutting stuff out of you, man.
Taking muscle off.
He's like pecs, lats, shoulders, delts, hamstrings, quads.
Like, so every hour I'm coming back here and we got to start doing these enzyme markers.
So I'm laying in that bed.
I can't run.
Can't do anything.
And I'm looking at my wife and I'm just imagining Dr. Gavorkian coming in here and chopping me up in little pieces.
I've never been in a low spot like that.
Outside of being stuck behind that tire with Maddie, this was the first time since then where I was a true victim of circumstance.
There's nothing I can do to prevent this.
Check her, what do you need?
There's no magic pill I can take.
There's nowhere to run.
There's nothing I can do.
I'm either going to lay in this hospital bed or I'm going to let that dude come in here and chop me up into pieces.
And I'm just consumed with anger, guilt, envy.
If you can fold the towels, if you can start dinner, done.
I just don't want to be here right now.
And he came back in the hour and he's like, levels are good.
Levels are good.
Came back next hour.
Levels are good.
Third hour, fourth hour, fifth hour.
And he's like, DJ, every person on the planet has this enzyme in your body.
Not only is yours not climbing, not increasing, there's not a trace of it in your body now.
He's like, I've never seen anything like it.
He's like, tomorrow morning, you're free to go.
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
Okay, they planned the surgery, they put in two plates, 20 something screws, did the whole thing, but didn't have to chop me up.
So my last interaction in the morning was positive.
You know, from talking to all the other people, typically people get electrocuted by one touch.
So this arm comes off, you know, rib cages blow open.
They were like, we don't know if it's because you had leads in both hands and you just completed a circuit and were able to ride it.
We don't know what would happen if you would have held it for another second and a half.
Where's your heart starting and stopping?
Just the perfect timing.
All the stars had to rely on for you to be here right now, and it's a medical mystery.
So I took it with that.
Medical mystery.
And now we're here.
But I had to walk back in.
I left on a positive note.
So I get dropped off my house.
And this is where Vernon really comes into play.
Is I'm sitting in my house in double slings.
I've got two kids.
I've got a wife.
I've got no income.
I've got no job.
I've got no one that can hire me.
And I can't do anything physically.
I'm just laying in there in mental health.
The first interaction you're getting at the end of the day is in a positive note.
Straight down the tube.
And I'm laying there at my kitchen table just feeling absolute the worst I've ever felt.
And I get a...
Gimp up to the door, open up the door, and there's my trainer, Vernon.
He's like, how are you doing, big guy?
He, like, gives me this half-assed hug, and we walk in the kitchen.
And regardless of how I'm feeling, if I have to fake it, I'll fake it.
We're sitting down, and he's, like, talking me through it.
I was like, I can't do anything.
He's like, okay, well, now that we've established that, what can you do?
I was like, nothing.
He's like, well, can you make a fist?
You know, my hands are all bandaged up.
I was like, yeah, I need this.
Can you move your wrist?
And he went, can you walk?
He's like, perfect.
Pulls out his back pocket, this little blue two-pound dumbbell, and he sticks it in my fingertips.
He's like, curl it.
And I curled up and I did a wrist curl.
And he went, roll your hand over.
So we can do grip and we can walk.
And we did that every single day until I could pressurize my upper body enough to where a sneeze wouldn't cripple me.
I got three hours.
And then we were straight back in the gym.
So I'd walk in, double slings.
He's like, the only thing we can do is belt squats, lunges, and mobility.
And if you space out of the course of the five days, I don't have a lot of time to make positive memories.
That's all we're going to do.
You're belt squatting and double slings?
So you're not holding on to the holds, none of that.
I can't do anything.
So I'd literally walk in.
I'd step through like a hula hoop.
He would bring it up around me.
I'd step on the platform.
I'd squat down.
He'd clip me in.
I'd stand up.
He'd unrack it.
I'd do my set, re-rack it.
He'd take the belt off me over and over.
And he rebuilt me back every single day, five days a week.
And we have never missed a session together since 2019.
Saved my life, man.
That is awesome.
He is the best human.
He's been more of a life coach than a strength coach.
Yeah, it's unbelievable.
And without him, if he wouldn't have walked in with that two-pound dumbbell, there's no telling where I'd be at right now.
I told that story at the Tactical Strength and Condition Conference.
No one does that.
No one is going to come over during that moment and push you.
Just because of work and stress and everything else, I'm trying to maximize those three hours.
Everybody's going to walk over and put, I'm so sorry for you.
Oh, I can't believe this happened.
Control the things you can control.
Can you make a fist?
Can you turn your wrist?
Wrist curls and 20-minute walks.
And that's what we did every single day.
bounce it all the way back.
I mean, he's been there, had to get a surgery on my hand, had to rebuild this whole hand, all the strength and everything we've had to do, the stomach, the kidney, everything in between, he's been there for.
How many years ago was that, roughly?
And then when I do,
I always say, like, at least give me a cool story with it.
Like, I got this kidney thing going on, not a cool story.
Electrocution, it's a cool story.
You know, it's a feel-good story at the end.
It wasn't going through it, but...
You know, surround yourself with people better than you, and they'll definitely pull you out of the depths of despair.
It feels like you can do no wrong, but every night after we finish dinner, me and my wife do a 20-minute walk.
10 minutes for her, so as soon as we start it, tell me about your day.
Everything she wants to vent through, everything we had to get caught up on, we hit the halfway mark right around this park, and then it's my turn for 10 minutes.
We didn't grow up religious at all.
Average human can walk a mile in 20 minutes.
I was always spiritual, always.
And I mean, you experience things in life that can't be explained.
And then when you see religious people, well, that's a miracle.
Is it a miracle or am I just lucky?
You start to look at it.
And then you do 5MEO DMT and you realize, like, yep, yep, it's got to be real.
Helps circadian rhythm, helps digestion.
Like, there has to be a higher power.
There has to be something that's pulling the strings, that's making this happen, like divine intervention.
There's no reason I should be here after that.
After this, this, you add up all these things, like, there's not a chance.
Like, what am I supposed to be doing here?
How am I supposed to pay that forward?
Like, if somebody's pulling the strings to make sure I'm sitting in this seat, what am I doing to make sure I'm not wasting this opportunity?
But, I mean, it definitely makes you question.
I mean, I definitely see why guys get, I don't want to say hung up on religion, but when they really buy in, they really turn the page.
I mean, mental clarity, I'm not on my phone.
You know, like, how much of that is just for TV?
None of it with that guy, right?
There's no stimulus.
Like, he felt it.
He saw the change.
I mean, I've seen too many miracles happen to believe that somebody's not behind it.
Something's not behind it.
I mean, I'm watching the sunset.
But now it's 20 minutes just for us to reconnect and we do it every single day, unless it's a torrential downpour.
Yeah, with the kids seeing this.
Yeah, you know, and I had turned myself into something that I wasn't proud of.
You know, I talk about dials, not switches, like being able to power down, powered up, powered off.
I never did that.
So she got to see the transition from being at Siltington and then going over the tier one organization and what that does with you, the pressure to perform, the performance on demand.
It changed you.
You can't be the same person you were it.
17, 19, 20, and then do that job.
You have to be able to change.
And I think a lot of that, it was just, it was wearing her down.
I mean, I was going so much.
We're doing it every single night and our marriage has never been better.
And a lot of that, I try to explain to the guys now, like, don't do what I did.
I would go on every single trip I could because I was living these multiple different lives.
Like I would go out to Arizona and I would skydive for months on end.
I mean, I think I did almost 4,000 jumps in seven years.
We turned the page.
And that's deploying.
That's every other training trip.
That's just sacrificing every weekend and making big pushes out there.
But when you go, no one knows who you are.
My physical health has never been better.
They don't know what you do for a job.
They just think you're a normal skydiver.
Like we're doing these big wave formations and trying out for world records and doing all this stuff, and it's amazing.
But it just takes you so far away from that person I have to be in Virginia Beach.
You become addicted to it.
And then when I go here, I can be someone else completely.
No one knows who I am.
I go on this trip.
And then my time with my kids, I can be accountable for every single minute in my day that I maximize that opportunity.
No one knows who I am.
You don't talk about the job you do.
You make up a line.
I'll throw them out there and it'll make them all mad.
We tell everybody you're part of the Red Bull Air Force.
Red Bull Air Force?
We skydive with all the boys.
We know them all.
And because you skydive enough, you can speak the lingo.
They see you out in all the drop zones.
They see you.
You can fake that really, really well.
Some guys will be a hot air balloon pilot.
You'll be an MMA fighter.
You'll be a hockey team where we had real long hair.
You can adopt these different personas.
And I think a lot of that is just trying to compartmentalize what you have back home.
That's where I don't have to think about it.
Because you'll literally, I mean, your buddies will tell you, you'll be sitting on the couch at 2 o'clock in the afternoon.
And when that pager goes off, you're gone right now.
Like you got 30 minutes.
There's no goodbye.
There's no, oh, let me swing by work real quick and give you one kiss.
You don't, I'm going fishing.
Jump in a car and you're gone.
And you got to be able to shut it off.
It's very, very hard to do when you're just so obsessed with being the best husband and the best father.
You can't shut that off.
The whole flight in, you're just thinking about it.
I'm like, if this happens, this happens, how my daughter's going to react.
Like, oh my God, they're going to come here.
What point of the day is she going to get the news?
Because I drug that dude home with me from 2.30 in the afternoon.
What are they giving me?
I'm not gonna be there for the marriage.
I'm not gonna be there for this, this.
You start to think about everything you're gonna miss.
Clouds your judgment.
And it makes you hesitate at that moment.
You can't hesitate, especially when no one else does and you paint that in your mind.
Nobody else in here is thinking about being a full-time dad or a full-time husband right now.
Nobody cares if I'm a 63% husband.
Nobody cares.
They need me to do this job at 100% because that's what this craft deserves.
But it turns you into something you don't wanna be long-term.
It's hard, man.
But she was done.
She was begging for me to hang it up because all of our friends are dying.
And then all the guys that transitioned out and they started doing contracting jobs, they're getting killed.
I drug him all the way home till 6.
They're getting shot.
We're picking them from the hospital.
What else do you want me to do?
There's no retirement club.
You don't know work at Home Depot.
What do you want me to do?
I only know how to do this one thing.
And that was the plan.
I was going to retire and start contracting with one of the government agencies and essentially do the same job I do now, just make a little bit better money, a little better schedule and
That's not who they need.
One thing led to another and ended up not doing it.
They don't need a commando.
They don't need a business owner.
They don't need an entrepreneur.
They need a dude that's going to have a tea party right now or a guy that's going to talk about how difficult navigating seventh grade is.
Like she really needs a husband that's going to be fully present because I haven't been.
For the majority of our marriage, I've been gone 300 days out of the year.
I think in that analogy, the metaphor I used, physical posture, if you think if I stand feet shoulder width apart and I put a barbell on me, you slide on 45s, I'm strong.
Two more 45s, I'm strong.
You could load up 800, 900 pounds and I could sit there and hold it.
Or if you put 315 pounds on it, I can drop, butt the floor, and I can squat it.
She really just needs a buddy who's going to help parent.
If I hold it at 90 degrees and you add on a 45, it feels like a ton.
You start adding on tens, everything starts to quiver.
I use the same thing as my mental health.
If I wake up in the morning, I've set my morning routine and I'm firing on all eight cylinders.
You can stack on everything on top of me because I'm in an optimal state.
I can take it just like I'm in a full posture.
Just keep giving it to me.
Keep giving it to me.
If I wake up, my morning routine's not there.
I start reading some hateful stuff in the morning.
Don't have a good input with my wife first thing.
And if I'm not mentally there, I'm never going to get there.
I'm stuck behind the school bus late for my first meeting.
Now you hand me a parking ticket.
It feels like the world is collapsing on top of me and I can't do anything for it.
So throughout the entire day, that's the whole purpose of the micro win kind of formula.
Stack up as many wins to put yourself in optimal headspace because reality isn't going to know.
It's going to smack you either way.
And if I keep myself blocking everything that's externally toxic to me, when something does get put on me that I have to wear, I'm in a good posture to put it on.
So I set conditions where I can be the person I need to be no matter what threshold I'm walking through.
That jacket might weigh 55 pounds.
I put it on and I'm still strong because I've been dropping off everything that I don't need to wear all day long.
Yeah, I mean...
But you'll see it.
I mean, I know you see it.
You analyze people all day long.
When people are in a negative headspace, their posture changes.
Their head drops.
Their shoulders roll forward.
They're always looking at the ground.
They're never up processing information.
It's because they're dragging whatever just happened all day long.
Now you add in one more thing.
Your mom's got cancer.
Your wife's going to leave you.
Your kids are so, everything just starts to weigh down on you.
And it feels like something you'll never get past.
Insurmountable at some point.
And that's all because you start to let it slowly but surely chip away at you.
And it's been hugely beneficial for me.
It's like control the things you can control.
And the things you can't control, you either avoid them completely or you take them as, that's a reality you have to live through right now.
I don't know why you have cancer, but you do.
And you got to get through it.
Well, what positive things do I have?
Great relationship with my wife.
Great relationship with my kids.
Great relationship with my friends.
My social circle has shrunk.
Everyone around me is better than me and they want me to be better.
I can take on a whole lot if I don't have a tight circle.
No relationship with my wife.
Ostracize my kids.
Now you start to add on that external stress.
It cripples me really, really fast.
And I know I'm not the only one.
So when I say it to everybody, whatever you have going on right now, whatever is absorbing all your bandwidth, it's us too.
But you're choosing to wear that jacket all day.
You're putting on another one and then another one.
And you add the external pressure of having to provide for a family and be that emotionally stable figure for the household.
It's hard to do all day long and a lot of people lose sight of it.
And I think that's why so many people close their chapter early.
They offer suicide because they think there's no way I can right this shit.
Like it's gone too far right now and I don't want to have to sit here and rebuild it and they close the chapter out.
It's like...
If we could have eliminated all those things and given yourself a breath of fresh air, would you have done the same thing?
If I would have grabbed you right before the moment, like, this isn't permanent.
You can fix this right now.
You just have to change these aspects.
In the moment, though, and I've been there, you don't have the clarity.
You don't have the vision and perspective.
A guy told me a long time ago, he goes, I think a lot of people want to hit the reset button on the Nintendo.
Restart the game.
You're not restarting the game.
It's over forever.
And I hate seeing people do it.
I think now, you know, after I've come out of the medicine, I've done a bunch of therapy and cut out a lot of toxicity out of my life.
I've gotten that breath of fresh air.
And I'm just, you know, I told Marcus and Amber Capone when I came out of the treatment.
I'm gonna jump on the nearest building, I'm gonna shout it from the rooftops, like, this will help.
There is a way out of this funk.
It's just one step further than you've currently gone.
There's light at the end of that tunnel, just one step further, one step further.
And just continuously go and it'll get better.
But yeah, for me, posture is a huge thing.
In combatives, it's a huge thing.
In processing information, it's a huge thing.
In dealing with stress, it's a huge thing.
I can't let myself collapse.
Because once you start adding another pound to me, it hits me to the floor really fast.
So control the things you can control.
And a lot of it is just your posture and your perspective.
Because I would argue that.
And I also tell guys, if you are going to lay in a fetal position and tweet out how bad your mental health is, stop.
go to a Starbucks, go to Whole Foods, walk around and see normal human interaction and tell a stranger you're suffering from mental health.
They don't do it.
You're just gonna sit there in a fetal position feeling sorry for yourself and you think it'll get better tomorrow.
I've already lived that life.
I've already painted the picture for you.
I've played you the movie.
You've watched it.
It's not gonna work.
You're gonna have to get out of that bed and you're gonna have to do something every single day that brings you out of that dark depression.
And for me, it's physical movement.
If you have the ability to move, move.
Don't lay in that bed.
Don't just sit there and scroll.
You know, Vernon says it.
Your diet's important.
Not what you eat, but what you consume.
Visually, audio, the music you listen to.
We all know there's some music you listen to that just changed you ever so slightly.
Is that the person I need to be walking to the store?
Do I need to blare mega death right now?
No, I need to play Ludovico.
That's what I need.
I need to walk into this room at 100% full capacity and just receive whatever energy is in the room right now.
It's hard to do if I'm in the depths of despair right now.
So yeah, I try to put myself in position where I have optimal posture all day.
So Marcus died, joined the SEAL teams right pre-9-11.
Married Amber, had a baby, right now in the SEAL teams, got stationed on the East Coast with me at SEAL Team 10.
And you could watch him change throughout the years, like everybody else, because he's such a big polarizing figure.
He's hard to miss.
I mean, he's probably 6'5", 2'4".
He's a big guy, and he was extremely intimidating.
But he always had a light in his eyes.
He always seemed like a dude you wanted to be around forever.
And after the conflicts and the multiple deployments, I mean, you'd see him out in town and his eyes got jet black.
And he would be a guy that if you were walking on a street and you saw him come out, just the way he looked at you, you would cross the street.
And he became one of those guys.
I gave the analogy, walk into the SPCA and you see that pit bull, ears been shaved off, there's scars all over his face.
You're not going to put your hand in that cage.
Marcus Capone was like that.
He leads the SEAL teams, has a very rocky transition, gets a job in finance, moves around, and you hear it through the rumor mill about how bad he's doing.
Drinking, just not the person you wanted him to be and definitely not the transition you wanted for him.
And then it got so bad, you know, suicide was definitely on the table, circling the drain, drinking way too much, just toxic in every way you can imagine.
And Amber, being the angel that she is, started to research different solutions.
He did MERT, meditation, yoga, talk therapy, drugs, did everything you could.
And she found Ibogaine and 5-MeO-DMT and convinced him to go down there.
And it was one of those things, much like mine.
You're going to go do this treatment, and this is our last attempt.
And if this doesn't work, I'm leaving you.
And for a team wife to throw in the towel after the career is over, that lets you know how bad it is because they have combated that entire thing.
I mean, they were in the heart of NSW, in the heart of the GWOD, and buried more friends than you ever care to count.
And after all of that, she's finally going to throw in the towel.
That's how bad he's gotten.
And, you know, you hear that he came back, and you wouldn't even recognize him.
You're like, you won't believe what Marcus Capone looks like.
And I hadn't seen him, but you got to understand, coming from the East Coast, and I'm an idealist, like, I'm a true believer.
And when you hear that Marcus left the East Coast and went to the West Coast, and now he's doing yoga, meditation, and smoking toad venom, you're like, West Coast, typical.
I knew you'd turn him.
And then you see him, you're like...
That's the best version of Marcus I've ever seen.
And he's not a pacifist.
He can still roll that dial all the way over, but he has full control over it.
You know, 20 years old, flicked a Navy SEAL switch and just lived that life to the fullest.
Never had a balance point, never needed one, never tried to adopt one.
So during my whole transition, I'll say when he got out,
they sit dormant on that medication for a while because it was so out there and you didn't want to shock the culture.
You didn't want to shock the community.
And it's taboo.
I mean, doing psychedelics is not a thing that Navy SEALs do.
It is extreme.
And just like the SEAL teams, you do everything to the extreme, and that's where you go.
There seems to be a theme there, yeah.
And, you know, I was going through a similar thing.
But when they came out, one of his very good friends, Chad Wilkinson, committed suicide.
And I think enough was enough.
And that was one of his best friends, and it crippled him.
And when you see him get the news, you can watch at this—oh, God, I'm trying not to cry—
You can watch that loss affect him in a way that nobody else will understand.
And he knew he was holding onto the secret, like this saved my life.
And if I would have given that to him, he'd still be here and I'd know it.
What am I gonna do?
I gotta start a 501c3 and I gotta start saving as many people as humanly possible.
And selfishly, I'm gonna save as many SEALs as humanly possible.
And once you saved one, save two, three, four, five Army Rangers, Green Berets, fighter pilots.
They all just start pouring in here.
It's the same trauma.
It doesn't matter how you got it.
You're at the brink of it.
You're going to close this chapter out.
And this medicine is going to give you that breath.
It's going to give you that relief to not do it.
They made this little infomercial that was on social media talking about psychedelics.
And I had heard about it and I kind of whitewashed it.
And my wife was at the same point.
She was getting ready to leave me and take the two kids and I can't do this anymore.
And we laid in bed one night and she watched it and she was crying.
And she leaned over and she made me watch it.
I started bawling because I could see the difference.
The last time I saw Marcus and this Marcus is very, very different.
And she looked over and she goes, if you love me, you'll go.
I'll go do psychedelics with my friends in Mexico, sure.
I never thought it would do anything because I had messed up so much until that point.
All the pharmaceuticals, all the mistakes I had made, the infidelity, everything had led me up to that point and I had that secret inside me and I did not have the strength to tell her.
I didn't want to break her heart about all the things I had messed up and
For me, if you think me going down to Mexico is going to save our marriage, I will 100% do it.
But I never thought for a chance it would.
And I went down there with a bunch of guys that were legends inside of the community.
And, you know, Ambio, Trevor, Jose, Jonathan, Brianna, everybody at Ambio Life Sciences, they run the best facility I've ever been a part of in any facility.
That medicine is so strong, and I think that's why guys get such relief.
It's the only thing stronger than your ego, because you've turned yourself into this vessel you think represents the essence of what being a Navy SEAL is.
You're hard, you're determined, you'll never lose.
You'll sacrifice everything right now if the group asks you to do it, but you won't do it for yourself.
You'll never put your individual needs above the needs of the group, and this is one point where you have to.
You have to go for the good of the group,
I have to suck up my ego, got to suck up my pride, and I have to try to kill it right now.
And we went down there and took that medicine.
And I have a combatives instructor.
His name's Tom Kier from Seattle Tactical Group.
If you've ever watched the movie The Hunted with Denicio del Toro, the knife fighting, that's what they do, and they are the best in the world.
And Tom Kier is a knowledge transfer specialist.
He's changed my life and mindset more than anybody else on the planet.
And he told me a quote the other day, and it—
references this kind of and we were talking about experience and he goes if you understand no explanation is needed if you don't understand no explanation is possible and that came from dave joyce another sayak disciple and it's the truest thing i've ever heard unless you've done ibogaine unless you've done psychedelics in a therapeutic setting you'll have no idea how powerful it is and when i woke up that next day everything i had ever done negative positive erased
Everything negative, every conversation, every bad deed, every time I've hurt anybody, every time I've made my wife cry, every time I've not been present was on the forefront of my mind.
And I felt absolutely terrible.
I felt like a monster for everything I had done.
Every time I had not been present, every time I had sacrificed them for this thing, I didn't want to go home.
And at the same token, it was the only time in my life I'd ever been homesick.
I wanted to teleport and go home and wrap my arms around those three.
but I was so embarrassed at everything that I had done.
I really, really hung on to that dude.
There's no way I can do it.
I can't go home and break their heart.
And you have the gray day after you do Ibogaine.
I mean, it feels like you got hit by a freight train just in your fields due to throwing up all day, depending on how your experience is.
The next day you do 5-MeO-DMT, and that's the ego death.
You know, it comes with Sonoran Desert Toad.
They milk out the poison glands, and that's essentially what you're smoking.
It's pretty intimidating.
It looks like you're smoking crack rock.
And that experience, when you smoke that, it must be like either finding religion or what dying is like.
The biggest concern doing Ibogaine was that you were going to be stuck inside of your own thoughts.
Everybody you had lost, you were just going to relive it.
You were going to be in the back of that helicopter.
You were just going to have to relive that for 24 straight hours.
And I will tell you that not a single person that I've ever done Ibogaine with has ever had any military experience.
It's always been your childhood and then a reflection of what you've done to your wife and kids.
So I've done Ibogaine four times.
I have never had a singular military experience ever.
And then in the actual medicine, it would allow me to relive past events with my father, with my mother, hard conversations, blowups, arguments, screaming, smashing.
Things you had forgotten.
Things I'd forgotten.
Things that...
or never on my conscious mind, and now I'm reliving them.
And then it would shift, and it would be me doing that exact same thing to my wife, to my kids.
And then it'll put you in their position.
So when I'm screaming, I'm projecting just this hate and this venom is shooting out of me, I can be that seven-year-old little girl.
And I can feel how frightened she is by what she's watching her father turn into.
So real empathy.
That is what it is.
You become so empathetic to everyone and everything.
And it's the forefront of your mind.
Like, I don't want to go home because now I know what I've done.
I can't mask it anymore.
There's no more compartmentalization.
I've done all those things.
I've said that terrible stuff.
And I'm never going to be able to re-earn my seat at the table.
And it's one of those weird predicaments where I want to go home, but I don't because I don't want to face that I actually did and said that.
It's like out of every good thing I've ever done, it all got erased on that moment.
The only thing we're going to focus on is all the bad stuff you've ever done and said.
So when we came into 5MEO, I did six rounds of 5MEO my first time down there.
Every single one is the most painful thing you've ever been a part of.
It feels, and Trevor says it beautifully down at AMBO.
He said, whatever's gonna happen, let it happen.
If you think you're gonna explode, explode.
You think you're gonna die, die.
If you think you're gonna drown or blast off in the stratosphere, do it.
Don't try to control it.
That medicine will take you exactly where you need to go.
You just have to let it.
And every time I would, I would start, I would scream, and then I would cry and convulse, throw up.
And I'd wake up and I'd look around and he'd look at me again.
hit him again, and I'd do it again, and I'd do it again.
And it was the very last time I did 5-MEL.
And you understand, I was super depressed and I was most certainly suicidal.
I did not want to come home and face reality.
And I took that last one.
And right before I did, I can't remember if it was the nurse or, because we used to have team guys who would sit there and hold space for you, not taking the medicine, just they were there to basically safeguard the house so you could just focus on you.
Because it's hard to be put under essentially anesthesia in a foreign country and you don't know what's going to happen to you.
So just comforted knowing there's team guys around you.
And he was either the nurse or one of the team guys goes, you want to kill yourself, right?
I said, yeah.
And he goes, then do it.
Do it with this right here.
And I changed my intention for the medicine.
And I told myself it was this pink toxin, this purple toxin.
I'm going to inhale it.
I'm going to coat my entire body with this.
I'm going to kill myself right here so I don't have to go home.
And that changed the entire experience for me.
Everything shrunk down jet black and a single white pixel showed up and it exploded and it looked like it was Star Trek taking off.
All the tracers and everything.
It felt like your sternum broke open and your soul left your body and it was the true ego death.
And it went from screaming, thrashing to complete bliss and love and affection and empathy and compassion and everything exploded.
And I woke up and I looked at him and I could not believe the way I instantly, I mean, the most sober you've ever been.
You're not on any medication, not cannabis, not an Adderall, nothing.
You can't be on any medication when you go down there.
So this is true sobriety at its finest.
And when you wake up, it's exactly like the electrocution.
Everything is more vibrant.
The table edges are slick and clean.
Like I can feel the taste and the texture and I can feel the energy coming out of everybody.
And it's like, I can tell her.
I can go home and I can confess everything right now because I understand that I have done more good than bad.
And she's going to see it.
She just has to see the new me.
And we went home and everything kind of unfolded and all my past indiscretions came to life.
It was the darkest moment for me because I didn't think she was going to take me back.
And she ends up pulling my sunglasses off.
She pulls them off and looks at me and essentially collapsed in my arms like I was back.
I'd been gone for 15 years and now I'm home.
And the greatest thing that's ever happened to me.
And if I wouldn't have gone down to Mexico, there was no talk therapy.
There was no meditation.
There was no cold plunge that was going to get me there.
It was something stronger than me.
And when you look back, I'd been building that physical vessel, this mental resilient vessel this entire time so nothing could break me.
And I needed something stronger than that to break me.
And the moment it did, my whole life changed.
Everything changed.
And I really became an advocate for the medicine because I'd been there.
I'd been sitting in my guest room with that pistol in my lap, staring around the ceiling wondering,
where my brain matter's gonna go and what my wife's gonna see and how she's gonna have to clean it up and resell the house and just all the things.
I mean, that's where you're at and that's where a lot of guys are and they don't believe they can get a breath of fresh air and that medicine will give it to you.
It is not a cure-all.
I mean, you have to go back and restructure your entire life and cut out the toxicity and that was one of the most powerful things we did is I came back from that medicine.
I sat down on the edge of that bed with my wife after we had gone through everything I had done
And I went through my phone and we blocked and deleted about 150 people out of my life.
Best thing I ever did.
You're never coming back in here.
I've been trying to foster and save that relationship for the better part of a decade.
I'm not doing it anymore.
You're robbing bandwidth and you're robbing the little time I have left on this planet that I'm going to try to devote to my family because I have to re-earn this seat at the table every single day.
And it gave me the ability to do that.
I came home, started preaching about the medicine.
And then as I started to tell guys, you'd see guys that were interested and they were like, well, if it worked for him, because I'm a true believer, I'm devout.
And they're like, if it worked for him, it'll work for me, but they're scared to go.
So I was probably home maybe a month or two.
I went right back down and I essentially hosted one.
I'm cooking breakfast for the boys.
I'm cleaning snot off of them.
I'm doing the whole thing, just trying to push them.
And slowly but surely, you start saving guys, 10 guys at a time.
over and over.
And, you know, that's really all because of Marcus and Amber.
If they would not have made that little infomercial airing out all their dirty laundry and how open and transparent he was, like that is not the Navy SEAL way.
That is not how you're supposed to do it.
And when he did it, it was so empowering to me.
I mean, I looked up to him.
I mean, he was on his second deployment when I came in and, you know, Marcus is larger than life to me.
So when you see that openness, that transparency, I can do that.
I can do that too.
And if I do that, some kid going through the exact same thing as me that's stuck on that island alone will see me and go, if he can do it, I can do it.
You got to want to change.
And you have to put steps in place to where you can live at full value.
The morning routine.
I don't break it because I know what happens if I don't have it.
the worst I've ever been.
I wasn't living that morning routine.
I was still working out, but it was chaotic at best, right?
Like my range wasn't there.
My combatives wasn't there.
I slowly let it drift away to where I was a shell of myself.
And once I got that breath of fresh air, I am never going back.
I mean, I just came back on Saturday.
I went back down again, took down a bunch of veterans, a bunch of civilians that were down there and
It's so interesting to see because you have fighter pilots that are down there.
You have normal housewives that have drinking problems, toxic marriage, sexual abuse, all this different stuff.
And everybody's ended up at the exact same spot.
We've tried everything.
We tried the drugs.
We tried the talk therapy, the cold plunges, the saunas, all that.
And it's helping, but it's not getting us over the goal line.
And when those people wake up the very next day,
They are at total rock bottom.
And when they come out of that 5-MeO DMT, their feet don't hit the ground for months.
You are on cloud nine and you cannot believe how good you feel.
I just want the world to be able to experience that.
It doesn't matter what trauma you have going on.
It's not a Navy SEAL medicine or a medicine for special operations.
This is a medicine to save humanity.
And if you were at the bottom of the barrel right now, they'll save you.
I mean, I went on 60 pills a day.
I'm not on anything, not a single pain med.
I mean, I've got more screws in me than Home Depot.
And I feel like a million bucks, but you know, for me, my family deserved it.
And if I have to go down there and go through all that trauma over a five-day period to give them a better version of myself, I'll do it every single time.
That juice is so worth the squeeze.
But it's scary, man.
It is, because you're afraid.
And when I talk to guys, they're so afraid they're gonna come out of it and be a pacifist.
They're afraid they're going to lose the edge and like, well, what if you did that medicine while you were in the teams?
Could you still do that job?
I just wouldn't have drug him home with me.
I could have done that job and empowered it off and I could have done my same routine now and I could have went home and been a full-time husband and a full-time father.
I could still compartmentalize it when I went to work and I could just focus on work because I'm running on dials and not switches.
You can't just turn it on and shut it off.
You got to be able to back it off slowly.
That's why I use that drive into work every day.
I'm not thinking about my family in three, two, one.
All I'm thinking about is the lift because that's the only priority I have.
Once the lift is done, what's the piece of content we're shooting?
What's the training course we're doing?
Who do I need to be when I walk through that threshold?
And that medicine really gave me the ability to navigate between those spaces better than anything else I've ever found.
I'm so thankful for it.
I know it sounds hokey and I am not that guy.
You know, yoga and, you know, crystal.
I'm not that dude.
And it's very foo-foo.
A lot of it is.
And a lot of people practicing that stuff, they push it so far out and left that you think that you ended up like one of the lost boys.
Run around the rainforest with feathers hanging out of your hair.
It's not like that.
It's not like that at all.
It's an amazing facility.
It's an amazing program.
And I'm just so thankful that they had...
They had the ability to share that message.
If they wouldn't have, we'd be in the exact same position.
I think they've put in, I think, 3,000 or 4,000 people through that medicine in the last, I think, three years.
They're absolutely saving people's lives.
You are a one-on-one? My son's right there. I don't think I've ever said this before.
You are a one-on-one? My son's right there. I don't think I've ever said this before.
I think you find that person. Just in the initial process, it's so hard to get in the buds. It's so hard to make it through that selection. You're already a little bit selfish anyway. You have to be. In order to just prepare to go to buds, you really have to live in isolation. And then it's not really a team sport. I know it is, but going through selection, it's individual performance.
I think you find that person. Just in the initial process, it's so hard to get in the buds. It's so hard to make it through that selection. You're already a little bit selfish anyway. You have to be. In order to just prepare to go to buds, you really have to live in isolation. And then it's not really a team sport. I know it is, but going through selection, it's individual performance.
You have to be able to perform the entire way. And anything that is a distraction, you just naturally block it out. You just have to, you roll an ankle, you get this, you get an injury, you just override and just keep going. And you do that, it becomes your routine. If you don't like the way things are going, you just block it out.
You have to be able to perform the entire way. And anything that is a distraction, you just naturally block it out. You just have to, you roll an ankle, you get this, you get an injury, you just override and just keep going. And you do that, it becomes your routine. If you don't like the way things are going, you just block it out.
It becomes a big issue. They remove you. It's very common if guys are going through a divorce. It's so common. I mean, the SEAL teams are... Well over 100%. I mean, they have been my whole time. Over 100% divorce rate. If it becomes nasty to where you can't make a deployment, you can't make trips, like you're in court, custody battles, they just remove you. They remove you? Yep.
It becomes a big issue. They remove you. It's very common if guys are going through a divorce. It's so common. I mean, the SEAL teams are... Well over 100%. I mean, they have been my whole time. Over 100% divorce rate. If it becomes nasty to where you can't make a deployment, you can't make trips, like you're in court, custody battles, they just remove you. They remove you? Yep.
They'll remove you, put you on the sidelines for two years, clean up your divorce, figure it all out, and then come back.
They'll remove you, put you on the sidelines for two years, clean up your divorce, figure it all out, and then come back.
They'll put you in a training slot or an admin slot.
They'll put you in a training slot or an admin slot.
Yeah, I mean, you put in so much time and energy to get to the organization. You're so critical to its overall performance. Right now, if you're not at 100%, they have to pull you out and put in somebody else.
Yeah, I mean, you put in so much time and energy to get to the organization. You're so critical to its overall performance. Right now, if you're not at 100%, they have to pull you out and put in somebody else.
It's the exact same thing with injuries. We have guys with some colossal injuries. They just, they override it. You ever been at like a bull riding show? You ever seen the guys get taped up? Taping their shoulders in place? You'd be surprised you see a special operations team room. The injuries these guys are able to just push through.
It's the exact same thing with injuries. We have guys with some colossal injuries. They just, they override it. You ever been at like a bull riding show? You ever seen the guys get taped up? Taping their shoulders in place? You'd be surprised you see a special operations team room. The injuries these guys are able to just push through.
KT tape all over their body, cortisone injections, just everything to get through because they don't want to get pulled off. And eventually those injuries stack up so bad, you can't hide it anymore. I mean, we're doing some brutal physical activities and you cannot keep up. You got to get surgery. And they don't want to. Like they don't want to jump off that train.
KT tape all over their body, cortisone injections, just everything to get through because they don't want to get pulled off. And eventually those injuries stack up so bad, you can't hide it anymore. I mean, we're doing some brutal physical activities and you cannot keep up. You got to get surgery. And they don't want to. Like they don't want to jump off that train.
And sometimes you have to push them off the train. Go get surgery, do six months of rehab and come back here. I can't have you at 45% right now. I can't. You got to go the whole way. Go get surgery. I was one of those guys. He's been that guy. Like you have to get surgery right now. Okay.
And sometimes you have to push them off the train. Go get surgery, do six months of rehab and come back here. I can't have you at 45% right now. I can't. You got to go the whole way. Go get surgery. I was one of those guys. He's been that guy. Like you have to get surgery right now. Okay.
Dials, not switches. Donald's not switches every time. So switch meaning, you know, I joined a Navy at 17 years old, Cole, 18, 19 years old. I just flicked that switch Navy seal. It's the only thing I care about. Now you start stacking on all the other stuff and you can't give it equal bandwidth. And that's where the resentment comes in. So I imagine a literal switchboard. I've got my family dial.
Dials, not switches. Donald's not switches every time. So switch meaning, you know, I joined a Navy at 17 years old, Cole, 18, 19 years old. I just flicked that switch Navy seal. It's the only thing I care about. Now you start stacking on all the other stuff and you can't give it equal bandwidth. And that's where the resentment comes in. So I imagine a literal switchboard. I've got my family dial.
And if you do that, you end up making him a martyr even more and growing his following even more. Like, look what he sacrificed for the cause.
And if you do that, you end up making him a martyr even more and growing his following even more. Like, look what he sacrificed for the cause.
I've got my, or I've got my, my operational, my passion, my profession, whatever that is, as soon as I wake up in the morning, I'm powering down the family dial all the way. I'm not thinking about you when I'm driving in. I'm not thinking about picking up kids off the bus. None of that matters to me right now. All I'm thinking about is my next two hours.
I've got my, or I've got my, my operational, my passion, my profession, whatever that is, as soon as I wake up in the morning, I'm powering down the family dial all the way. I'm not thinking about you when I'm driving in. I'm not thinking about picking up kids off the bus. None of that matters to me right now. All I'm thinking about is my next two hours.
As soon as I complete those two hours, I reoperate my dials, recalibrate, whatever I have to fully focus on.
As soon as I complete those two hours, I reoperate my dials, recalibrate, whatever I have to fully focus on.
As far as we know, but might as well be. Might as well be, right. We grew up in the same area. I mean, separated a couple miles from each other's high school, joined the Navy at the same time.
As far as we know, but might as well be. Might as well be, right. We grew up in the same area. I mean, separated a couple miles from each other's high school, joined the Navy at the same time.
22.
22.
The fact that everybody in there is a human. We use Signal, we use Silent Circle, we add all the same thing, and people have the same name. And as soon as I first saw that, we were on the gym talking about them. That looks like you're a normal person scrolling down on the phone, and you click one wrong name, and you don't realize there's two John Davises in your phone.
The fact that everybody in there is a human. We use Signal, we use Silent Circle, we add all the same thing, and people have the same name. And as soon as I first saw that, we were on the gym talking about them. That looks like you're a normal person scrolling down on the phone, and you click one wrong name, and you don't realize there's two John Davises in your phone.
That's what it looked like to me. Nobody sanity checked it, and you start communicating. I mean, we've launched out really detailed stuff on Signal Chats. I mean, business stuff, I mean, all kinds of stuff. Things happen. I mean, there have definitely been some checks and balances and there needs to be sanity checking that, but that's real world. That's what they do. That's what everybody does.
That's what it looked like to me. Nobody sanity checked it, and you start communicating. I mean, we've launched out really detailed stuff on Signal Chats. I mean, business stuff, I mean, all kinds of stuff. Things happen. I mean, there have definitely been some checks and balances and there needs to be sanity checking that, but that's real world. That's what they do. That's what everybody does.
You have a group chat, you have a signal thread, and I'm sure you're on them too, that if that thing gets leaked and the photos that you share with your old buddies, something you don't want out there, it's the same thing. It's just on a huge public scale now. That seems very normal to me that someone messed up a signal group chat. At that level?
You have a group chat, you have a signal thread, and I'm sure you're on them too, that if that thing gets leaked and the photos that you share with your old buddies, something you don't want out there, it's the same thing. It's just on a huge public scale now. That seems very normal to me that someone messed up a signal group chat. At that level?
Well, no, you know, you shouldn't have it at that level. But at the end of the day, people are human. They're brand new into that job. They haven't done that. I mean, he didn't have any experience doing that before. Like how many people are in that? I don't know. I don't think it was malicious by any of those guys.
Well, no, you know, you shouldn't have it at that level. But at the end of the day, people are human. They're brand new into that job. They haven't done that. I mean, he didn't have any experience doing that before. Like how many people are in that? I don't know. I don't think it was malicious by any of those guys.
I don't most certainly don't think anybody would add a reporter into a signal chat and start talking about business knowingly.
I don't most certainly don't think anybody would add a reporter into a signal chat and start talking about business knowingly.
I can't remember a time for it actually happening, like an actual thing, business being leaked out to anybody. Nothing pre, always post.
I can't remember a time for it actually happening, like an actual thing, business being leaked out to anybody. Nothing pre, always post.
I'll date myself. It was probably 2011, 2012. It was either Silent Circle or Signal when it was first coming out, and it was literally everybody sitting inside the team room, because you can't bring your phones upstairs. Everybody get on stairs. We're all going to download Signal. That's going to be our new unclass chat for the whole group.
I'll date myself. It was probably 2011, 2012. It was either Silent Circle or Signal when it was first coming out, and it was literally everybody sitting inside the team room, because you can't bring your phones upstairs. Everybody get on stairs. We're all going to download Signal. That's going to be our new unclass chat for the whole group.
So if we have to pass anything, movements, training trips, whatever, we'll put it out on Signal. That way we get in real time. It's not just an Apple text communication. These guys have Android and Apple, all the other stuff. So, yeah, I mean, we transitioned over to Signal for a lot of the stuff. I mean, yeah, I mean, you have IT guys making sure everybody's above board.
So if we have to pass anything, movements, training trips, whatever, we'll put it out on Signal. That way we get in real time. It's not just an Apple text communication. These guys have Android and Apple, all the other stuff. So, yeah, I mean, we transitioned over to Signal for a lot of the stuff. I mean, yeah, I mean, you have IT guys making sure everybody's above board.
I mean, there's always issues with it. Who owns Signal? Who owns the backside? All that kind of stuff. Do you trust it?
I mean, there's always issues with it. Who owns Signal? Who owns the backside? All that kind of stuff. Do you trust it?
I trust it for stuff that me and him are doing. I wouldn't trust it at that level. So what do they use now at that level? I'll be honest, I would have thought there was some proprietary thing that Elon Musk has come up with by now or something. The fact we're just downloading something off a regular app store on that level kind of surprised me, if I'm being honest.
I trust it for stuff that me and him are doing. I wouldn't trust it at that level. So what do they use now at that level? I'll be honest, I would have thought there was some proprietary thing that Elon Musk has come up with by now or something. The fact we're just downloading something off a regular app store on that level kind of surprised me, if I'm being honest.
But I also know a bunch of guys who were... In the Beltway, senators, congressmen, that's how they normally communicate. They just have an unclass, we'll just call it an unclass chat. Me and Cole are texting back and forth, and we just do everything on Signal. That way it's secure.
But I also know a bunch of guys who were... In the Beltway, senators, congressmen, that's how they normally communicate. They just have an unclass, we'll just call it an unclass chat. Me and Cole are texting back and forth, and we just do everything on Signal. That way it's secure.
We normally text, but I'd probably have 50 Signal chats. From trainings we do, SWAT teams we're going to go train, everything's on a Signal chat.
We normally text, but I'd probably have 50 Signal chats. From trainings we do, SWAT teams we're going to go train, everything's on a Signal chat.
You've been mine twice.
You've been mine twice.
All over, Iraq, Afghanistan, Somalia. Middle East, yeah. East Africa.
All over, Iraq, Afghanistan, Somalia. Middle East, yeah. East Africa.
At first glance, you would think it is weird. And then you think about the reality. Are we going to bring his body back to the U.S. and do a John Dillinger where we post up photos of him? They're not going to do that. And if you do that, you end up making him a martyr even more and growing his following even more. Like, look what he sacrificed for the cause. Don't do that.
At first glance, you would think it is weird. And then you think about the reality. Are we going to bring his body back to the U.S. and do a John Dillinger where we post up photos of him? They're not going to do that. And if you do that, you end up making him a martyr even more and growing his following even more. Like, look what he sacrificed for the cause. Don't do that.
Like, do you want a tombstone in the U.S.? Do you want some new mecca where all the other crazies kind of go to pay homage to him? I don't. I don't think that benefits anybody. So I think putting him in the ocean is exactly what they should have done.
Like, do you want a tombstone in the U.S.? Do you want some new mecca where all the other crazies kind of go to pay homage to him? I don't. I don't think that benefits anybody. So I think putting him in the ocean is exactly what they should have done.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
You can take that one unless you want me to send it. I barely squeak by.
You can take that one unless you want me to send it. I barely squeak by.
I'll tell you what, when you're in, it most certainly feels like that to a certain extent. You know, the brotherhood is real for a little bit. And I feel like. It ebbs and flows. Some years it is so strong. My God, it feels like you can get through anything. And in some days it really feels like it's unraveling.
I'll tell you what, when you're in, it most certainly feels like that to a certain extent. You know, the brotherhood is real for a little bit. And I feel like. It ebbs and flows. Some years it is so strong. My God, it feels like you can get through anything. And in some days it really feels like it's unraveling.
And I don't know if that's a cultural thing, if that's an age thing, a maturity thing. I think you saw the best of the teams at the height of the G1. And then, you know, I don't want to say around the Obama administration, but kind of towards the tail end of the war, we start talking about pulling out. You really saw a cultural change. And some guys just really weren't on board with it.
And I don't know if that's a cultural thing, if that's an age thing, a maturity thing. I think you saw the best of the teams at the height of the G1. And then, you know, I don't want to say around the Obama administration, but kind of towards the tail end of the war, we start talking about pulling out. You really saw a cultural change. And some guys just really weren't on board with it.
Your political views do not matter whatsoever. I don't care if you're a Republican or a Democrat. As long as you're not trying to use the military as like a social experiment or trying to decrease funding, that's really where it gets upset because the job and the threat don't ever change. But now you look at pilots. Now they're chopping flight hours. You're not as good as you were five years ago.
Your political views do not matter whatsoever. I don't care if you're a Republican or a Democrat. As long as you're not trying to use the military as like a social experiment or trying to decrease funding, that's really where it gets upset because the job and the threat don't ever change. But now you look at pilots. Now they're chopping flight hours. You're not as good as you were five years ago.
Do you still need to be as good as you were five years? Absolutely. The threat doesn't change. So when you see that, it really does take the wind out of your sails a lot because you're sacrificing everything for this one thing. You're like, we need more money. We need more manpower. We need this. You're not getting the support, and the mission set doesn't change.
Do you still need to be as good as you were five years? Absolutely. The threat doesn't change. So when you see that, it really does take the wind out of your sails a lot because you're sacrificing everything for this one thing. You're like, we need more money. We need more manpower. We need this. You're not getting the support, and the mission set doesn't change.
But no, I mean, that is the one thing I call it. It echoes the same thing. I know it. I hate when people badmouth the president. I don't care if you're a Republican or a Democrat. That is a dude sitting at the pinnacle of the greatest country in the world, and if you are not supporting him right now, what are you doing? Just stop.
But no, I mean, that is the one thing I call it. It echoes the same thing. I know it. I hate when people badmouth the president. I don't care if you're a Republican or a Democrat. That is a dude sitting at the pinnacle of the greatest country in the world, and if you are not supporting him right now, what are you doing? Just stop.
Like, I never heard anybody in that team room ever talk bad about the president, no matter who was in it. Never. I love that. And there was Democrats and Republicans. Yeah. I mean... Everybody's really, really diverse. And at the end of the day, the only thing you can control are the guys inside of this room. That's it. Anything external to that, you're never going to meet him.
Like, I never heard anybody in that team room ever talk bad about the president, no matter who was in it. Never. I love that. And there was Democrats and Republicans. Yeah. I mean... Everybody's really, really diverse. And at the end of the day, the only thing you can control are the guys inside of this room. That's it. Anything external to that, you're never going to meet him.
You're never going to have a chance to bend his ear, break his will. So it doesn't matter. You can't change the outcome. You can only control what you can control. And that's the only thing you focus on. Focus on the team right now.
You're never going to have a chance to bend his ear, break his will. So it doesn't matter. You can't change the outcome. You can only control what you can control. And that's the only thing you focus on. Focus on the team right now.
My first introduction was probably Barrett Johnson, who's our third platoon chief. So me and Cole did three deployments to Iraq, back to back to back. And my third platoon chief came over from development group with him. And it was like the second coming of Christ. When he cleared that threshold, I mean, I got goosebumps. I got super emotional. I didn't even shake his hand.
My first introduction was probably Barrett Johnson, who's our third platoon chief. So me and Cole did three deployments to Iraq, back to back to back. And my third platoon chief came over from development group with him. And it was like the second coming of Christ. When he cleared that threshold, I mean, I got goosebumps. I got super emotional. I didn't even shake his hand.
I wrapped my arms around his neck. Like, I've been waiting for you for eight years, dude. Why? What made him so special? He was everything you ever wanted to see. Looked apart, acted apart. He got on the flat range, outshot everybody. When he did CQB, it was the best you've ever seen. His jumping was better than everybody else. He held the standard when you saw it.
I wrapped my arms around his neck. Like, I've been waiting for you for eight years, dude. Why? What made him so special? He was everything you ever wanted to see. Looked apart, acted apart. He got on the flat range, outshot everybody. When he did CQB, it was the best you've ever seen. His jumping was better than everybody else. He held the standard when you saw it.
It was like watching Kobe Bryant on the court. You're like, my God, you have every reason to let your foot off the gas, and you haven't for 20 years. How long can you maintain this? The entire time. He never let his foot off the gas, and it showed everybody who's 19, 20 years old, like you can achieve mastery in this sport if you just keep going. And he did it, man.
It was like watching Kobe Bryant on the court. You're like, my God, you have every reason to let your foot off the gas, and you haven't for 20 years. How long can you maintain this? The entire time. He never let his foot off the gas, and it showed everybody who's 19, 20 years old, like you can achieve mastery in this sport if you just keep going. And he did it, man.
To this day, I'd do anything for that guy, anything. I've had phenomenal leaders. That dude was my first taste of seeing what a pro is, and it changed my entire existence.
To this day, I'd do anything for that guy, anything. I've had phenomenal leaders. That dude was my first taste of seeing what a pro is, and it changed my entire existence.
Like the average person doesn't know who he is. No, you'd never find this guy. I mean, he's got a historic past. I'd love to be able to sit down to an interview with him. His mindset changed everything. Is that him? That is him. Can you zoom in on the picture, Rob? Is he a big boy? Probably my height. 5'10", 180 pounds.
Like the average person doesn't know who he is. No, you'd never find this guy. I mean, he's got a historic past. I'd love to be able to sit down to an interview with him. His mindset changed everything. Is that him? That is him. Can you zoom in on the picture, Rob? Is he a big boy? Probably my height. 5'10", 180 pounds.
He led by example, but he was one of those guys that, I mean, he really embodied, I'm never going to ask you to do anything I haven't done, I'm not currently doing, or I'm not willing to do. And then he did it. Okay. Like you walk into the gym, he's in there before you. He leaves after you. You go to the range, he's already been there.
He led by example, but he was one of those guys that, I mean, he really embodied, I'm never going to ask you to do anything I haven't done, I'm not currently doing, or I'm not willing to do. And then he did it. Okay. Like you walk into the gym, he's in there before you. He leaves after you. You go to the range, he's already been there.
all right this guy sees the importance of this because a lot of times if you don't have that example you kind of adopt a nine to five mentality like i show up i do train with everybody else five even in the seals yeah i mean like it's a normal it's a normal job and you wake up five a.m you're doing fitness you're lifting you're fighting you're training you're eating training eating going home rinse and repeat every single day over and over well there's guys that show up earlier and they stay later and they do more polishing and on the weekends they're training they're messing around with kit they're developing new tactics new procedures
all right this guy sees the importance of this because a lot of times if you don't have that example you kind of adopt a nine to five mentality like i show up i do train with everybody else five even in the seals yeah i mean like it's a normal it's a normal job and you wake up five a.m you're doing fitness you're lifting you're fighting you're training you're eating training eating going home rinse and repeat every single day over and over well there's guys that show up earlier and they stay later and they do more polishing and on the weekends they're training they're messing around with kit they're developing new tactics new procedures
just trying to make the overall collective better, and I thought he just did it better than anybody else.
just trying to make the overall collective better, and I thought he just did it better than anybody else.
I'm sure he's doing some consulting now. I was texting him the other week.
I'm sure he's doing some consulting now. I was texting him the other week.
Yeah, so he was doing guided hunts for a little bit. That's what the hunt is. Yeah, there it is. Senior chief. 22 years. Yeah, he was at Team 2 with my dad, too. Wow. Wow.
Yeah, so he was doing guided hunts for a little bit. That's what the hunt is. Yeah, there it is. Senior chief. 22 years. Yeah, he was at Team 2 with my dad, too. Wow. Wow.
It is. At the end of the day, when you're out there alone... Your political views don't matter. Your religious views don't matter.
It is. At the end of the day, when you're out there alone... Your political views don't matter. Your religious views don't matter.
Okay. And then your parents start calling you. Wives start saying, I'm seeing this on the news. What's happening? None of that's actually happening.
Okay. And then your parents start calling you. Wives start saying, I'm seeing this on the news. What's happening? None of that's actually happening.
There were a couple scenarios under the Trump administration right before I retired. We were spinning up to do a couple things that if they would have went, potentially. Potentially. And I'll be honest, Trump kanked us when we were on the ramp getting ready to go. He solved it, however he does, whatever he does. He called and literally stopped us on a ramp. You vividly remember that? Mm-hmm.
There were a couple scenarios under the Trump administration right before I retired. We were spinning up to do a couple things that if they would have went, potentially. Potentially. And I'll be honest, Trump kanked us when we were on the ramp getting ready to go. He solved it, however he does, whatever he does. He called and literally stopped us on a ramp. You vividly remember that? Mm-hmm.
I mean, we spun up to go. We were going to go do the thing and got in midair and got ready to do the whole process, and we got canceled and spun around and came back home.
I mean, we spun up to go. We were going to go do the thing and got in midair and got ready to do the whole process, and we got canceled and spun around and came back home.
I mean, potentially, I mean... Could have been an active engagement with a bunch of Russians. Could have been dicey. You just never know.
I mean, potentially, I mean... Could have been an active engagement with a bunch of Russians. Could have been dicey. You just never know.
Huge letdown, huge letdown. You wanted it. Oh, I mean, everybody wants it. Everybody wants to go. And you start to think about the ramifications, like what if this goes south? What if this does spike off the whole thing and now we're stuck here, we can't get back home? What if it does go nuclear? Now everybody's back home and we're stuck here in the middle of nowhere. I mean, it gets dicey.
Huge letdown, huge letdown. You wanted it. Oh, I mean, everybody wants it. Everybody wants to go. And you start to think about the ramifications, like what if this goes south? What if this does spike off the whole thing and now we're stuck here, we can't get back home? What if it does go nuclear? Now everybody's back home and we're stuck here in the middle of nowhere. I mean, it gets dicey.
Jeremy Renner?
Jeremy Renner?
Jeremy Renner.
Jeremy Renner.
You can chase it the entire time. Be careful what you wish for. You'll eventually find it. But a lot of times they spend their entire career chasing the one thing, and they never stop to, you know, enjoy it. Was this mission to take somebody out?
You can chase it the entire time. Be careful what you wish for. You'll eventually find it. But a lot of times they spend their entire career chasing the one thing, and they never stop to, you know, enjoy it. Was this mission to take somebody out?
I can't get into all the specifics, but, yeah, I mean, it was a lot of people going through international waters that shouldn't have been, potentially possibly carrying some stuff they shouldn't have been. We were going to intervene, and he solved it. which is a good thing and a bad thing, because you want to go to work, you want to do the thing.
I can't get into all the specifics, but, yeah, I mean, it was a lot of people going through international waters that shouldn't have been, potentially possibly carrying some stuff they shouldn't have been. We were going to intervene, and he solved it. which is a good thing and a bad thing, because you want to go to work, you want to do the thing.
Just they literally turn around and like, can't get going back home.
Just they literally turn around and like, can't get going back home.
I see that as like a show of force, like how committed we are, how far you're willing to go for the whole thing. No different than the Israelis after Black September. I don't care if it takes a decade. We're going to go the entire way. And I think we've shown that as a country a lot. Take us 10 years, 20 years, we're going to keep going the entire way just because we said we would.
I see that as like a show of force, like how committed we are, how far you're willing to go for the whole thing. No different than the Israelis after Black September. I don't care if it takes a decade. We're going to go the entire way. And I think we've shown that as a country a lot. Take us 10 years, 20 years, we're going to keep going the entire way just because we said we would.
15.
15.
Then it's what it is. You can go wherever you want to. You can hide as much as you want. Your trade craft can be phenomenal. We just have people that are going to sit in this room all day long, do nothing but hunt you, and we'll find you. That's a superpower that we have. You have people who just sit in a room all day long, do nothing but just pick you apart.
Then it's what it is. You can go wherever you want to. You can hide as much as you want. Your trade craft can be phenomenal. We just have people that are going to sit in this room all day long, do nothing but hunt you, and we'll find you. That's a superpower that we have. You have people who just sit in a room all day long, do nothing but just pick you apart.
They'll unravel your entire existence right now. It's all they do. And there's endless manpower of them. Us, U.S. Yeah, I mean, anybody we have to go after, any target we have, I mean, there's people, that's all they do. Okay, so let me ask you this question.
They'll unravel your entire existence right now. It's all they do. And there's endless manpower of them. Us, U.S. Yeah, I mean, anybody we have to go after, any target we have, I mean, there's people, that's all they do. Okay, so let me ask you this question.
For me personally, I look at it just like Osama bin Laden. Threatened it for a long time, said he was going to attack the homeland, and didn't take it serious. And I think after that, you've got to take every threat serious. You just have to.
For me personally, I look at it just like Osama bin Laden. Threatened it for a long time, said he was going to attack the homeland, and didn't take it serious. And I think after that, you've got to take every threat serious. You just have to.
Especially now with open borders, there are so many people pouring into this country, and if they want to spin it on and turn it on, they can really, really fast. So I think now, after 9-11, I think everybody is taking every threat serious. At least you should, because they proved it. I mean, we've had to adopt a lot of cultural changes since 9-11 for the good. I think it's made us better overall.
Especially now with open borders, there are so many people pouring into this country, and if they want to spin it on and turn it on, they can really, really fast. So I think now, after 9-11, I think everybody is taking every threat serious. At least you should, because they proved it. I mean, we've had to adopt a lot of cultural changes since 9-11 for the good. I think it's made us better overall.
No, I mean, you can't look at guys like that and just, oh, he won't do that. Well, we've already said that before. We've said that multiple times. We've said that as long as I can remember. We said that through World War II. We said it with Japanese. We said it with everybody. Oh, they won't do that. Yeah, they did. Yes, they did.
No, I mean, you can't look at guys like that and just, oh, he won't do that. Well, we've already said that before. We've said that multiple times. We've said that as long as I can remember. We said that through World War II. We said it with Japanese. We said it with everybody. Oh, they won't do that. Yeah, they did. Yes, they did.
They flew his plane straight over here, crashed him into Pearl Harbor, and then kicked off the whole thing. They will. They will do that. So don't underestimate the power of any threats. Especially not threats that have actual money and resources.
They flew his plane straight over here, crashed him into Pearl Harbor, and then kicked off the whole thing. They will. They will do that. So don't underestimate the power of any threats. Especially not threats that have actual money and resources.
Definitely at our level. Definitely at our level than our interagency partners and all our allies, like our closest allies. That's what I'm saying. So, yeah. Yeah. We're all pointing in the exact same direction, which is the source of our strength really is how good our allies are and how much we really do support each other. Got it.
Definitely at our level. Definitely at our level than our interagency partners and all our allies, like our closest allies. That's what I'm saying. So, yeah. Yeah. We're all pointing in the exact same direction, which is the source of our strength really is how good our allies are and how much we really do support each other. Got it.
How did you make it work 15 years? I didn't. I married a unicorn. That's the only reason. I was an idealist and I grew up in the SEAL teams. My dad was a SEAL. The only male influence I had my entire life were Navy SEALs and most of them were divorced. And that was just the culture. This thing comes first, you come home, drop off a bag of dirty laundry, grab new clothes and leave again.
How did you make it work 15 years? I didn't. I married a unicorn. That's the only reason. I was an idealist and I grew up in the SEAL teams. My dad was a SEAL. The only male influence I had my entire life were Navy SEALs and most of them were divorced. And that was just the culture. This thing comes first, you come home, drop off a bag of dirty laundry, grab new clothes and leave again.
It certainly felt like the 90s. I wasn't active duty in the 90s, but I grew up in the 90s. A lot of it was training. You deploy to Germany. You do interagency ops with Poland. All our European counterparts, they do cold weather training in Alaska for six months. Everything was just a big training mission waiting for one big thing to pop.
It certainly felt like the 90s. I wasn't active duty in the 90s, but I grew up in the 90s. A lot of it was training. You deploy to Germany. You do interagency ops with Poland. All our European counterparts, they do cold weather training in Alaska for six months. Everything was just a big training mission waiting for one big thing to pop.
And now that it has popped and we've seen it, we've come so far tactically, technologically in the last 25 years that I think now we're in such a good spot to defend the nation. And now with our allies, too. I mean, 9-11 was the worst thing that's ever happened to us. But in a lot of ways, if it wouldn't have happened, we'd be in the Stone Age still.
And now that it has popped and we've seen it, we've come so far tactically, technologically in the last 25 years that I think now we're in such a good spot to defend the nation. And now with our allies, too. I mean, 9-11 was the worst thing that's ever happened to us. But in a lot of ways, if it wouldn't have happened, we'd be in the Stone Age still.
I mean, you look at body armor, AI, just digital communications, everything that had to elevate and grow so fast. If we wouldn't have had 9-11, we wouldn't. We would have stayed the same way. And I look at it like, and this will sound messed up, but if you look at Black Hawk Down, October 3, 1993. look at the gear they're wearing, and then look at when they stepped on the ground in Afghanistan.
I mean, you look at body armor, AI, just digital communications, everything that had to elevate and grow so fast. If we wouldn't have had 9-11, we wouldn't. We would have stayed the same way. And I look at it like, and this will sound messed up, but if you look at Black Hawk Down, October 3, 1993. look at the gear they're wearing, and then look at when they stepped on the ground in Afghanistan.
Not much change. Same body armor, same carbines, same helmets, nothing really changed because they didn't have a reason to evolve. Now you step foot on Afghanistan, you're like, oh my God, this is not the same. This is very, very different. Then you teleport that same crew in Iraq three years later. Oh, wow. Oh, no. These IEDs are a serious issue right now.
Not much change. Same body armor, same carbines, same helmets, nothing really changed because they didn't have a reason to evolve. Now you step foot on Afghanistan, you're like, oh my God, this is not the same. This is very, very different. Then you teleport that same crew in Iraq three years later. Oh, wow. Oh, no. These IEDs are a serious issue right now.
They're detonating them 50 different ways. We can't stay ahead of this. How are we going to do it? Engineers attack this problem over and over and over. EOD, everything you come across, pump us the info. We've got to be able to solve this. And that's what they did. I mean, we think about it. If we only would have hit Afghanistan, no Iraq.
They're detonating them 50 different ways. We can't stay ahead of this. How are we going to do it? Engineers attack this problem over and over and over. EOD, everything you come across, pump us the info. We've got to be able to solve this. And that's what they did. I mean, we think about it. If we only would have hit Afghanistan, no Iraq.
There are so many lessons we learned from Iraq that if we wouldn't have invaded, we wouldn't have had them. We would not have evolved to where we are right now if we wouldn't have hit them both.
There are so many lessons we learned from Iraq that if we wouldn't have invaded, we wouldn't have had them. We would not have evolved to where we are right now if we wouldn't have hit them both.
I'm not saying we should have hit them both, but I'm saying the benefit of doing them, it really... I mean, the learning curve, tactics, techniques, procedures, just everything, it really, really evolved during the height of the war, and all our allies really benefited from it.
I'm not saying we should have hit them both, but I'm saying the benefit of doing them, it really... I mean, the learning curve, tactics, techniques, procedures, just everything, it really, really evolved during the height of the war, and all our allies really benefited from it.
And that's exactly what I did. I just, I got really fortunate because my wife was already married to a SEAL. Unfortunately, he was killed. So she'd been through the entire gambit already. And I think that was a lot of my hesitation is I didn't want to stop doing that job. Training's so hard. It's so long. It's so arduous. You don't ever want to leave it.
And that's exactly what I did. I just, I got really fortunate because my wife was already married to a SEAL. Unfortunately, he was killed. So she'd been through the entire gambit already. And I think that was a lot of my hesitation is I didn't want to stop doing that job. Training's so hard. It's so long. It's so arduous. You don't ever want to leave it.
I mean, it's no different if you and me are both professional boxers. You're doing your training camp. I do a secret training camp with some ninjas, and I'm just training in isolation. You have no idea. There's no training footage leaking. You have no idea what I'm doing. I step out, bell rings, and I hit you with something you've never, ever seen before.
I mean, it's no different if you and me are both professional boxers. You're doing your training camp. I do a secret training camp with some ninjas, and I'm just training in isolation. You have no idea. There's no training footage leaking. You have no idea what I'm doing. I step out, bell rings, and I hit you with something you've never, ever seen before.
Okay, now I have to go back to the drawing board. Now everybody else sees that. I think a lot of this time it sucks, but you're almost in a defensive posture. Like we've prepped for everything we know right now. We have contingencies for the unknowns, and if they happen, this is how we're going to combat it.
Okay, now I have to go back to the drawing board. Now everybody else sees that. I think a lot of this time it sucks, but you're almost in a defensive posture. Like we've prepped for everything we know right now. We have contingencies for the unknowns, and if they happen, this is how we're going to combat it.
It is because, yeah, I mean, it's spy on spy. I mean, you're trained, you're perfecting, advancing as much as you can, but you have to do it in secrecy. And that's where a lot of the general public, they want to know everything you're doing. The Area 51s release all the documents. We want to have full open source to everything the military does. You can't do that.
It is because, yeah, I mean, it's spy on spy. I mean, you're trained, you're perfecting, advancing as much as you can, but you have to do it in secrecy. And that's where a lot of the general public, they want to know everything you're doing. The Area 51s release all the documents. We want to have full open source to everything the military does. You can't do that.
You shouldn't have any right to do that because if you know it, everybody else knows it. Well, they're doing the exact same thing. Just a lot of time their tradecraft is better. Like they don't have cell phone communications. They just do it in straight isolation. They bring in all the parties from all the other countries and train them up on bomb making and all this other stuff.
You shouldn't have any right to do that because if you know it, everybody else knows it. Well, they're doing the exact same thing. Just a lot of time their tradecraft is better. Like they don't have cell phone communications. They just do it in straight isolation. They bring in all the parties from all the other countries and train them up on bomb making and all this other stuff.
Now they're doing isolation. They're not putting out propaganda videos. So you don't know how far ahead they are. You hear rumor mill.
Now they're doing isolation. They're not putting out propaganda videos. So you don't know how far ahead they are. You hear rumor mill.
I'm questioning it. And I'll be honest, Trump tanked this when we were on the ramp getting ready to go. He solved it, however he does, whatever he does. He called and literally stopped us on the ramp. Who would love to be on those phone calls just to hear what he says? He'd break the internet. I hate when people badmouth the president.
I'm questioning it. And I'll be honest, Trump tanked this when we were on the ramp getting ready to go. He solved it, however he does, whatever he does. He called and literally stopped us on the ramp. Who would love to be on those phone calls just to hear what he says? He'd break the internet. I hate when people badmouth the president.
It's like, you know, you're playing professional sports. I don't want to take any time away. As soon as I leave, I can't give you any bandwidth right now because it's not going to help me overseas. You have to start compartmentalizing, and that just builds up a resentment time and time again. And when you come home, you're so stressed out. I mean, two-hand texting. You're in the group chat.
It's like, you know, you're playing professional sports. I don't want to take any time away. As soon as I leave, I can't give you any bandwidth right now because it's not going to help me overseas. You have to start compartmentalizing, and that just builds up a resentment time and time again. And when you come home, you're so stressed out. I mean, two-hand texting. You're in the group chat.
I think if you haven't fought in the war, if you haven't given up your children to fight in the war, I don't really care about your opinion. And I know that sounds bad, but... We've been doing this for a long time. And if I didn't think it was a worthy cause, I wouldn't have done it. I wouldn't. And if Trump did a recall right now and I had to slap it all back on, I'd go.
I think if you haven't fought in the war, if you haven't given up your children to fight in the war, I don't really care about your opinion. And I know that sounds bad, but... We've been doing this for a long time. And if I didn't think it was a worthy cause, I wouldn't have done it. I wouldn't. And if Trump did a recall right now and I had to slap it all back on, I'd go.
Because I think it's worth it. I watched him for four years avoid all these major conflicts. He is not one of those dudes, some warmonger just trying to push. He's not. If he was, he would have done it. He had every reason to do it. He was the most powerful dude in the world.
Because I think it's worth it. I watched him for four years avoid all these major conflicts. He is not one of those dudes, some warmonger just trying to push. He's not. If he was, he would have done it. He had every reason to do it. He was the most powerful dude in the world.
If you wanted to spend your first four years just laying hate and waste to everybody who ever did you wrong, he could have done it. He didn't do it. I watched him be really diplomatic and solve a lot of issues with just a phone call that I hadn't seen before. I mean, my foreign policy is not as good as it probably should be. I mean, there's a lot of backdoor conversations that are happening.
If you wanted to spend your first four years just laying hate and waste to everybody who ever did you wrong, he could have done it. He didn't do it. I watched him be really diplomatic and solve a lot of issues with just a phone call that I hadn't seen before. I mean, my foreign policy is not as good as it probably should be. I mean, there's a lot of backdoor conversations that are happening.
But at the end of the day, if you say you can't ever do that thing ever again and they continue to do it, at what point are you going to send it going to go the entire way? That's where it gets dangerous. You call their bluff. If you don't release hostages, I'm doing X, Y and Z. They don't release them. Well, now I've kind of painted us all in a corner. And that's where it gets kind of dicey.
But at the end of the day, if you say you can't ever do that thing ever again and they continue to do it, at what point are you going to send it going to go the entire way? That's where it gets dangerous. You call their bluff. If you don't release hostages, I'm doing X, Y and Z. They don't release them. Well, now I've kind of painted us all in a corner. And that's where it gets kind of dicey.
Well, you have to go now. You have to go. You have to go. And I don't know what he says on these phone calls to get them to change their mind. I have no idea. But it's working. I mean, he's done it successfully multiple times. I don't want us to go to war. I definitely don't want us to go to war with China, with Russia, with any of these people. But at a certain point, we cannot...
Well, you have to go now. You have to go. You have to go. And I don't know what he says on these phone calls to get them to change their mind. I have no idea. But it's working. I mean, he's done it successfully multiple times. I don't want us to go to war. I definitely don't want us to go to war with China, with Russia, with any of these people. But at a certain point, we cannot...
You can't give them an inch. If you do, it'll take a mile. I think a lot of times, just like Cole said, I mean, we become the blanket of coverage and support for everyone else. And Ukraine's a perfect example. We have to fly over quite a few countries that are really close to Ukraine in order to give them support. And I feel like not a lot of other people are.
You can't give them an inch. If you do, it'll take a mile. I think a lot of times, just like Cole said, I mean, we become the blanket of coverage and support for everyone else. And Ukraine's a perfect example. We have to fly over quite a few countries that are really close to Ukraine in order to give them support. And I feel like not a lot of other people are.
You can always hear that like, well, if they take Ukraine, they're just going to keep going. What are you guys going to do about it? Like I shouldn't have to fly from our country over all of your countries and land there and try to solve that for you. We should all be trying to solve it together.
You can always hear that like, well, if they take Ukraine, they're just going to keep going. What are you guys going to do about it? Like I shouldn't have to fly from our country over all of your countries and land there and try to solve that for you. We should all be trying to solve it together.
I've got to get ready for this trip. You're missing ballet recitals and anniversaries and birthdays because none of it truly matters at that point because you're trying to lay a foundation. And unfortunately, you realize you're never going to have that foundation you want. You just keep adding layer after layer after layer. And you're never building time for them.
I've got to get ready for this trip. You're missing ballet recitals and anniversaries and birthdays because none of it truly matters at that point because you're trying to lay a foundation. And unfortunately, you realize you're never going to have that foundation you want. You just keep adding layer after layer after layer. And you're never building time for them.
And I feel like we always have to be the big brother to step in first and kind of draw that line in the sand. And it puts a lot of people against us. And then it serves up a lot of hate and discontent inside of the own country. It just does. People don't want to go to war. They want to go to war. They see this. They see that. A lot of times it's a lose-lose.
And I feel like we always have to be the big brother to step in first and kind of draw that line in the sand. And it puts a lot of people against us. And then it serves up a lot of hate and discontent inside of the own country. It just does. People don't want to go to war. They want to go to war. They see this. They see that. A lot of times it's a lose-lose.
So that's why we do talk about dials. You know, if you're brand new, brand new guy gets on the team and you have no external commitments, no wife, no family, no picket fence, no Labrador, I can roll that dial all the way to a 10 and I can be that Kobe Bryant. I can live this one thing at 100% until I do have a rock solid foundation.
So that's why we do talk about dials. You know, if you're brand new, brand new guy gets on the team and you have no external commitments, no wife, no family, no picket fence, no Labrador, I can roll that dial all the way to a 10 and I can be that Kobe Bryant. I can live this one thing at 100% until I do have a rock solid foundation.
I mean, do you think if I'll just ask it over to you. Do you think if Trump was president, Russia would have invaded Ukraine? No, no, not at all. I don't think so either.
I mean, do you think if I'll just ask it over to you. Do you think if Trump was president, Russia would have invaded Ukraine? No, no, not at all. I don't think so either.
It'd break the internet. There's no telling what he's saying, but it's working. What do you imagine he says on these calls?
It'd break the internet. There's no telling what he's saying, but it's working. What do you imagine he says on these calls?
41.
41.
Then I add in a girlfriend that turns in a fiance, but I have to operate on dials. And for us, we just rolled that whole thing over and never backed it off. Now we just started stacking stuff on top of it. And it's really hard to split your time and focus. And a lot of them, they're just not meant to do it. Guys marry their high school sweethearts.
Then I add in a girlfriend that turns in a fiance, but I have to operate on dials. And for us, we just rolled that whole thing over and never backed it off. Now we just started stacking stuff on top of it. And it's really hard to split your time and focus. And a lot of them, they're just not meant to do it. Guys marry their high school sweethearts.
You stay ready. You ain't got to get ready. Oh, brother, call. I'll throw it on real quick. Real quick.
You stay ready. You ain't got to get ready. Oh, brother, call. I'll throw it on real quick. Real quick.
You've never been apart for two weeks before, and now you're gone for nine months. How do you do that? You love that job so much, you literally just wall it off.
You've never been apart for two weeks before, and now you're gone for nine months. How do you do that? You love that job so much, you literally just wall it off.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
All the time. Gone.
All the time. Gone.
I mean, up until a certain point, he was. I mean, when he graduated BUDS, my mom was nine months pregnant with me. So his entire time in the SEAL teams, I was with him. But he's just gone. I mean, I think he did 13 deployments, each one six months long. And there's no break in between. Six-month workup, home for a while, gone, gone, gone. And then all the training trips in between.
I mean, up until a certain point, he was. I mean, when he graduated BUDS, my mom was nine months pregnant with me. So his entire time in the SEAL teams, I was with him. But he's just gone. I mean, I think he did 13 deployments, each one six months long. And there's no break in between. Six-month workup, home for a while, gone, gone, gone. And then all the training trips in between.
Every one's a two- or three-week trip. You're home for two days, geared up, send it again, send it again.
Every one's a two- or three-week trip. You're home for two days, geared up, send it again, send it again.
If you went combined total, less than three months out of the year. Less than three months out of the year you see him. But it still made you want to be a SEAL? That's the only thing you know. And when you come home, you have him, you see all the guys, and you've seen the movie Navy Seals with Charlie Sheen. That was my childhood. That is exactly what I grew up with, and I loved it.
If you went combined total, less than three months out of the year. Less than three months out of the year you see him. But it still made you want to be a SEAL? That's the only thing you know. And when you come home, you have him, you see all the guys, and you've seen the movie Navy Seals with Charlie Sheen. That was my childhood. That is exactly what I grew up with, and I loved it.
Yeah, short wire, kill the dog, attack one of the kids. No. We've all seen the movie. I don't put a whole lot of faith in that. I mean, that is a serious concern, though. I mean, he has an ungodly amount of money. And if he wanted to build an entire robot army and deploy it, he most certainly could. I mean, you see the same thing with some of the drone stuff now.
Yeah, short wire, kill the dog, attack one of the kids. No. We've all seen the movie. I don't put a whole lot of faith in that. I mean, that is a serious concern, though. I mean, he has an ungodly amount of money. And if he wanted to build an entire robot army and deploy it, he most certainly could. I mean, you see the same thing with some of the drone stuff now.
They can throw out a couple thousand drones, do these huge parades and all this stuff. All they can do is put a little bit of armament on them. It's a very hard thing to combat. I mean, the robot stuff will scare us, but, I mean, it never came up in conversation. The only thing we're trying to do is solve the human problem. I think it's about to change.
They can throw out a couple thousand drones, do these huge parades and all this stuff. All they can do is put a little bit of armament on them. It's a very hard thing to combat. I mean, the robot stuff will scare us, but, I mean, it never came up in conversation. The only thing we're trying to do is solve the human problem. I think it's about to change.
Who was Charlie Sheen? I mean, he was one of the officers, but I mean, just not... Everybody that was in that movie, that represented what the 90s Navy SEALs were like. Drinking, partying, training, deploying just over and over and over again. And it became infectious. I mean, to us, I'd walk right past the Rolling Stones or some high-level athlete just to get near a commando.
Who was Charlie Sheen? I mean, he was one of the officers, but I mean, just not... Everybody that was in that movie, that represented what the 90s Navy SEALs were like. Drinking, partying, training, deploying just over and over and over again. And it became infectious. I mean, to us, I'd walk right past the Rolling Stones or some high-level athlete just to get near a commando.
I mean, we're not in it anymore, but... They were always talking about the next ridgeline, always. Even when Iraq was brand new, they were always foreshadowing, always looking for the next obstacle that was going to come up. You know, if this happens, these two countries aligned, we'll be dealing with this. You've got a lot of people in the U.S. military that are just looking at future conflicts.
I mean, we're not in it anymore, but... They were always talking about the next ridgeline, always. Even when Iraq was brand new, they were always foreshadowing, always looking for the next obstacle that was going to come up. You know, if this happens, these two countries aligned, we'll be dealing with this. You've got a lot of people in the U.S. military that are just looking at future conflicts.
I have no doubt they're trying to actively combat that, but that is not going to be an easy thing to crack, especially, I mean, people with ungodly amounts of money can just do kind of whatever they want to at a certain point. Yeah. If you don't hold them accountable, if you don't make them sign on a dotted line, like you cannot provide this tech to our adversaries.
I have no doubt they're trying to actively combat that, but that is not going to be an easy thing to crack, especially, I mean, people with ungodly amounts of money can just do kind of whatever they want to at a certain point. Yeah. If you don't hold them accountable, if you don't make them sign on a dotted line, like you cannot provide this tech to our adversaries.
If they're not willing to do that, then I think you shouldn't be able to get support from this country.
If they're not willing to do that, then I think you shouldn't be able to get support from this country.
They just have such a polarizing presence. You just can't get away from it. So when you grow up with it your whole life, that's the only thing you want to emulate. I just want to look like that. I want the tattoos. I want to look like that. I want to be able to perform like that. And that's just what you chase.
They just have such a polarizing presence. You just can't get away from it. So when you grow up with it your whole life, that's the only thing you want to emulate. I just want to look like that. I want the tattoos. I want to look like that. I want to be able to perform like that. And that's just what you chase.
It's sketchy. It's so much easier fighting a human. It just is. It's so much easier fighting a person than it is.
It's sketchy. It's so much easier fighting a human. It just is. It's so much easier fighting a person than it is.
And in marijuana, too.
And in marijuana, too.
Yeah. And then you've got the guys chewing the cotton. Africa. What is that right there?
Yeah. And then you've got the guys chewing the cotton. Africa. What is that right there?
far as the eye can see there's a bunch of really cool pictures um we didn't hit a bunch of those things there's a ton of photos like green berets neck deep and it just armfuls of like what are we doing they're telling you to burn the entire field you know through kerosene setting the whole thing on fire just get upwind of it and send it are you like you're talking about second hand high at the highest level if you're burning all this stuff
far as the eye can see there's a bunch of really cool pictures um we didn't hit a bunch of those things there's a ton of photos like green berets neck deep and it just armfuls of like what are we doing they're telling you to burn the entire field you know through kerosene setting the whole thing on fire just get upwind of it and send it are you like you're talking about second hand high at the highest level if you're burning all this stuff
Everybody's all blasted out. But yeah, I mean, that's what they have to do with it. That's how they make all their money. And they have endless supplies of it. That's how they're funding terrorism.
Everybody's all blasted out. But yeah, I mean, that's what they have to do with it. That's how they make all their money. And they have endless supplies of it. That's how they're funding terrorism.
90%?
90%?
aircraft engines, batteries, catalytic converters.
aircraft engines, batteries, catalytic converters.
Kind of devastating. Just devastating. You got to think, most of the people that joined, think of like the Pat Tillmans of the world, the people who just stopped everything they were doing to pick up arms and serve the nation. That's why you did it. I understand, well, I don't side with those people, the guys that didn't want to get involved with Iraq. I get it.
Kind of devastating. Just devastating. You got to think, most of the people that joined, think of like the Pat Tillmans of the world, the people who just stopped everything they were doing to pick up arms and serve the nation. That's why you did it. I understand, well, I don't side with those people, the guys that didn't want to get involved with Iraq. I get it.
I think, yeah, because a lot of the guys, you know, Cole married one of his high school sweethearts, too. She's never been exposed to it. So when you get in around those people, they knew you when you were in high school. They knew you when you were 21 years old. Now you leave for four or five years. You rekindle that marriage and you are a completely different person.
I think, yeah, because a lot of the guys, you know, Cole married one of his high school sweethearts, too. She's never been exposed to it. So when you get in around those people, they knew you when you were in high school. They knew you when you were 21 years old. Now you leave for four or five years. You rekindle that marriage and you are a completely different person.
You can't tell me the same thing for Afghanistan. You can't. When we went there, I mean, me and Cole, I'll say we got stuck in Iraq for three rotations. I wanted to go to Afghanistan so bad I could taste it. I know he did, too. It was like that felt like that's where you're supposed to be. Why is that? Because you flew planes into the Trade Center, killed thousands of our people. That's why.
You can't tell me the same thing for Afghanistan. You can't. When we went there, I mean, me and Cole, I'll say we got stuck in Iraq for three rotations. I wanted to go to Afghanistan so bad I could taste it. I know he did, too. It was like that felt like that's where you're supposed to be. Why is that? Because you flew planes into the Trade Center, killed thousands of our people. That's why.
It's like we're going to get vengeance for nothing else. I'll be honest. I'm not there to liberate anybody. I'm only there to get even. That's it. It's the only reason I'm there. And then when you pull out, you think about all the people that sacrificed their lives for that entire war. That's the way you're going to pull out? We've already seen it before. We saw it with Vietnam.
It's like we're going to get vengeance for nothing else. I'll be honest. I'm not there to liberate anybody. I'm only there to get even. That's it. It's the only reason I'm there. And then when you pull out, you think about all the people that sacrificed their lives for that entire war. That's the way you're going to pull out? We've already seen it before. We saw it with Vietnam.
We've done this before. We should have done this much, much better. It may just seem like all for nothing. I don't know.
We've done this before. We should have done this much, much better. It may just seem like all for nothing. I don't know.
I mean, you ever see the documentary Restrepo? You should watch it. What's it called? Restrepo. I believe it's an army unit top of, I think it's in a corn gall, just a nightmare, but it documents the entire deployment. When we pulled out, You should definitely watch it. You'd love it. Really, really good. I'm going to watch it tonight.
I mean, you ever see the documentary Restrepo? You should watch it. What's it called? Restrepo. I believe it's an army unit top of, I think it's in a corn gall, just a nightmare, but it documents the entire deployment. When we pulled out, You should definitely watch it. You'd love it. Really, really good. I'm going to watch it tonight.
When they pulled out, the Taliban released them inside of that camp, running on the treadmills, living in their beds. We just left everything. All the technology. Why? You don't think they can fly a C-130? Of course they can. They'll figure it out.
When they pulled out, the Taliban released them inside of that camp, running on the treadmills, living in their beds. We just left everything. All the technology. Why? You don't think they can fly a C-130? Of course they can. They'll figure it out.
Yeah. I mean, I don't know, man. When you come back from Vietnam, you see them pushing the Hueys off the edge of the ship. Like, it costs too much to ferry them back. We're just going to sink them all. Why are we not just blowing all that stuff in place? I get it. Math, it costs too much money to fly them all back here. We have too much in reserve. It's cool.
Yeah. I mean, I don't know, man. When you come back from Vietnam, you see them pushing the Hueys off the edge of the ship. Like, it costs too much to ferry them back. We're just going to sink them all. Why are we not just blowing all that stuff in place? I get it. Math, it costs too much money to fly them all back here. We have too much in reserve. It's cool.
Why are we not blowing them all up or selling them to the Allies? You're just going to leave them all for them? That makes no sense to me. Why do you think we didn't? I have no idea. A shitty plan? I'm a very logical person. Logically, it makes no sense. You left them all the armor, all the weapons, all the night vision, everything that makes us superior, you gave it to them. Why?
Why are we not blowing them all up or selling them to the Allies? You're just going to leave them all for them? That makes no sense to me. Why do you think we didn't? I have no idea. A shitty plan? I'm a very logical person. Logically, it makes no sense. You left them all the armor, all the weapons, all the night vision, everything that makes us superior, you gave it to them. Why?
your mannerisms the way the way you carry yourself the people you associate with everything else is different and they don't know how it happened and a lot of them they don't see it until it's too late like now we are married this is not the guy he was in high school he can't be you can't be because the job you have you have to elevate and you have to transform you can't be that same guy and do that job at 100 there's no way it takes too much
your mannerisms the way the way you carry yourself the people you associate with everything else is different and they don't know how it happened and a lot of them they don't see it until it's too late like now we are married this is not the guy he was in high school he can't be you can't be because the job you have you have to elevate and you have to transform you can't be that same guy and do that job at 100 there's no way it takes too much
I mean, we've been training thousands of these guys. I mean, there's some serious forces in Afghanistan we've been building the last 20 years, and you just left them there. What's going to happen? They all get killed. Taliban knows who they are. They just wiped them all off the face of the earth. Just what they do. That's why they were such a big push.
I mean, we've been training thousands of these guys. I mean, there's some serious forces in Afghanistan we've been building the last 20 years, and you just left them there. What's going to happen? They all get killed. Taliban knows who they are. They just wiped them all off the face of the earth. Just what they do. That's why they were such a big push.
You saw a bunch of SF guys who were going back to Afghanistan to try to pull these families out, the interpreters and all that. It's because we dumped so much time and energy into them. They were trying to make their country better, and now we just left them. That's not going to work, and it didn't. To me, it was very disheartening to see that whole thing happen.
You saw a bunch of SF guys who were going back to Afghanistan to try to pull these families out, the interpreters and all that. It's because we dumped so much time and energy into them. They were trying to make their country better, and now we just left them. That's not going to work, and it didn't. To me, it was very disheartening to see that whole thing happen.
I hope it ends soon. I think if anybody's going to end it soon, Trump will. I don't think, if he doesn't get it solved by mid-year, it's not a good sign. If we get into the summer months and this thing still is going on,
I hope it ends soon. I think if anybody's going to end it soon, Trump will. I don't think, if he doesn't get it solved by mid-year, it's not a good sign. If we get into the summer months and this thing still is going on,
Wishful thinking.
Wishful thinking.
Are you talking about a high level? At a high level. At your level. I'm sure a lot of guys are. I mean, the media puts such a twist on things that when you're over there, a lot of times it ruins your confidence. If you listen to what they're saying. A lot of times it makes you think you're there for the wrong reason.
Are you talking about a high level? At a high level. At your level. I'm sure a lot of guys are. I mean, the media puts such a twist on things that when you're over there, a lot of times it ruins your confidence. If you listen to what they're saying. A lot of times it makes you think you're there for the wrong reason.
What do you tell them?
What do you tell them?
I'll just say it because we cut our teeth in Iraq, and those are some rough deployments. I never once heard anything outside of WMDs until it was too late. I didn't care. We started talking about oil, and I don't care about any of that. None of that matters to me. It doesn't stop that IED from going off. It doesn't matter. It doesn't put a tourniquet on that guy when he gets shot.
I'll just say it because we cut our teeth in Iraq, and those are some rough deployments. I never once heard anything outside of WMDs until it was too late. I didn't care. We started talking about oil, and I don't care about any of that. None of that matters to me. It doesn't stop that IED from going off. It doesn't matter. It doesn't put a tourniquet on that guy when he gets shot.
I don't care why we're here. It doesn't matter because I'm here. I can't leave. So it doesn't matter to me. your political views, I don't care. You're not going to come over here and do it for me. So right now, everything you're saying, it's just, it's really making me second question what I'm doing. And that flag isn't to be second questioned. I'm here for that.
I don't care why we're here. It doesn't matter because I'm here. I can't leave. So it doesn't matter to me. your political views, I don't care. You're not going to come over here and do it for me. So right now, everything you're saying, it's just, it's really making me second question what I'm doing. And that flag isn't to be second questioned. I'm here for that.
I tell them don't get married until you've done at least four years. Optimally, you've done eight years. Four of those completely single, just isolating, polishing your craft. Now you find her, you test her out, meaning you make her do a couple deployments as your fiance. That way, if it doesn't work, there's no divorce. There's no strain on the force.
I tell them don't get married until you've done at least four years. Optimally, you've done eight years. Four of those completely single, just isolating, polishing your craft. Now you find her, you test her out, meaning you make her do a couple deployments as your fiance. That way, if it doesn't work, there's no divorce. There's no strain on the force.
Just I take it for someone who just, you know, put yourself in Bush's scenario, you know, reading books to a couple elementary school kids. The next thing you know, they tap you on the shoulder and say they're flying planes in the World Trade Center. Now you have to act. Now you have to go. And then you have, I'll just call Saddam a psycho.
Just I take it for someone who just, you know, put yourself in Bush's scenario, you know, reading books to a couple elementary school kids. The next thing you know, they tap you on the shoulder and say they're flying planes in the World Trade Center. Now you have to act. Now you have to go. And then you have, I'll just call Saddam a psycho.
Known for killing thousands and thousands of people saying he has this. Are you going to question him? That was my justification. Like if he says he has him, better go find out whether he had him or not. Personally, with the information I had at the time, I didn't second question anything. Say we got to go. We got to go. But I also said that the entire time. If.
Known for killing thousands and thousands of people saying he has this. Are you going to question him? That was my justification. Like if he says he has him, better go find out whether he had him or not. Personally, with the information I had at the time, I didn't second question anything. Say we got to go. We got to go. But I also said that the entire time. If.
If it would have been some random country, if it would have been Dearborn, Michigan, we would have said the entire thing. It's inside the U.S. The entire city has gone corrupt. We have to invade and take it all over. I wouldn't have batted an eye. If they're all a terrorist organization, same thing with the cartel. Okay, let's go. I don't have time to second question it. It doesn't matter to me.
If it would have been some random country, if it would have been Dearborn, Michigan, we would have said the entire thing. It's inside the U.S. The entire city has gone corrupt. We have to invade and take it all over. I wouldn't have batted an eye. If they're all a terrorist organization, same thing with the cartel. Okay, let's go. I don't have time to second question it. It doesn't matter to me.
At a certain point, it can. I'm not there. I'm not a policymaker. It's not what I do.
At a certain point, it can. I'm not there. I'm not a policymaker. It's not what I do.
I do the same thing. I'll go out and I'll do talks for SWAT teams and performance teams, and I was talking to NHL guys not too long ago, and I was talking about the level of loyalty it takes to really commit to a team. Nothing else matters. Just the 25 guys inside this room. One of the guys kind of spoke up, and he's like, it's hard when you can be drafted at any moment. I get it.
I do the same thing. I'll go out and I'll do talks for SWAT teams and performance teams, and I was talking to NHL guys not too long ago, and I was talking about the level of loyalty it takes to really commit to a team. Nothing else matters. Just the 25 guys inside this room. One of the guys kind of spoke up, and he's like, it's hard when you can be drafted at any moment. I get it.
Same thing for us. We'd be kicked off that team tomorrow. You'd be switched positions. You can get pulled out. It's the same thing. I would just tell you to lean in and give them that loyalty because they're giving you the opportunity to showcase your craft. You're not playing for any other team. And the moment you do, they get the full loyalty.
Same thing for us. We'd be kicked off that team tomorrow. You'd be switched positions. You can get pulled out. It's the same thing. I would just tell you to lean in and give them that loyalty because they're giving you the opportunity to showcase your craft. You're not playing for any other team. And the moment you do, they get the full loyalty.
So as long as I'm wearing this, I'm fully bought in my individual hopes, dreams, wants, and wishes don't really matter. Not above that.
So as long as I'm wearing this, I'm fully bought in my individual hopes, dreams, wants, and wishes don't really matter. Not above that.
I'd say that transition is so much harder than everybody makes it seem. You get these guys that get out and like, Oh my God, when you get out, every job is going to pay you 350 grand a year. They're, they just want you to sit around. They're just going to pay you because of who you, and then people get out and those jobs aren't there. That's not a real thing.
I'd say that transition is so much harder than everybody makes it seem. You get these guys that get out and like, Oh my God, when you get out, every job is going to pay you 350 grand a year. They're, they just want you to sit around. They're just going to pay you because of who you, and then people get out and those jobs aren't there. That's not a real thing.
And then you've left the only thing you've known. The only thing you've ever loved, you've left it. And on a Tuesday you were out of the group chat. There's no email. There's no body armor to put on. There's no one who needs you really. and you haven't built a relationship with your family, now you're stuck with them. I use Tom Braden's example. Tom Brady's a Navy SEAL.
And then you've left the only thing you've known. The only thing you've ever loved, you've left it. And on a Tuesday you were out of the group chat. There's no email. There's no body armor to put on. There's no one who needs you really. and you haven't built a relationship with your family, now you're stuck with them. I use Tom Braden's example. Tom Brady's a Navy SEAL.
You did that one thing at full capacity the entire time. The moment you left it, you're like, I can't leave it. She's like, you have to leave. You have to retire. Nope. Gets a divorce. Can't do it. Can't get off the train. Cannot do it. If you don't think Tom Brady laid in a fetal position and cried after he fully retired, I promise you he did. Everybody does it.
You did that one thing at full capacity the entire time. The moment you left it, you're like, I can't leave it. She's like, you have to leave. You have to retire. Nope. Gets a divorce. Can't do it. Can't get off the train. Cannot do it. If you don't think Tom Brady laid in a fetal position and cried after he fully retired, I promise you he did. Everybody does it.
Some of the darkest moments have just been just leaving it in the moment you're out in it. Man, I don't know how to do anything else. I feel like I'm empty. I don't have anything. That's what we talk about when I tell guys now. My physical fitness, my mental health are really at the forefront of my priorities.
Some of the darkest moments have just been just leaving it in the moment you're out in it. Man, I don't know how to do anything else. I feel like I'm empty. I don't have anything. That's what we talk about when I tell guys now. My physical fitness, my mental health are really at the forefront of my priorities.
I wake up in the morning, and that's what I knock out first because that gives me the bandwidth to take on everything else throughout the day. I feel like a lot of people lose that. They leave the military. You've been on the same structured routine. I don't care if you're on an 82nd Airborne or whatever. Some SF team, a SWAT team, you've been doing the same thing the entire time.
I wake up in the morning, and that's what I knock out first because that gives me the bandwidth to take on everything else throughout the day. I feel like a lot of people lose that. They leave the military. You've been on the same structured routine. I don't care if you're on an 82nd Airborne or whatever. Some SF team, a SWAT team, you've been doing the same thing the entire time.
You wake up, you all do PT, you eat breakfast, you go upstairs, meeting, training, deploying, blah, blah, blah. It's the same thing. If you just keep that first morning routine the same, it feels so familiar that now between 10 a.m. and 5 p.m., you can do whatever you need to now because my first morning, it feels so repetitive. It feels like I've been doing it my entire life.
You wake up, you all do PT, you eat breakfast, you go upstairs, meeting, training, deploying, blah, blah, blah. It's the same thing. If you just keep that first morning routine the same, it feels so familiar that now between 10 a.m. and 5 p.m., you can do whatever you need to now because my first morning, it feels so repetitive. It feels like I've been doing it my entire life.
I wake up the exact same time I did when I was in. I do the same fitness, hang around the same people, same protein shake, same 20-minute walk, same everything. So the first part of my morning, it feels like I'm still on the team. I mean, we're surrounded by nothing but team guys now. It feels the same. What percentage of your employees are former vets? With training, former vets.
I wake up the exact same time I did when I was in. I do the same fitness, hang around the same people, same protein shake, same 20-minute walk, same everything. So the first part of my morning, it feels like I'm still on the team. I mean, we're surrounded by nothing but team guys now. It feels the same. What percentage of your employees are former vets? With training, former vets.
Training cadre, I mean, they're all team guys.
Training cadre, I mean, they're all team guys.
That's what happened to me, dude. What happened with MySpace? Same thing. I was dating my high school girlfriend, went over to Iraq. I'm 19 years old. We're stormtrooping through Baghdad doing the whole thing. And I didn't even have an email account at the time. I mean, I set up a hotmail in 2005 when we were over in Iraq. And then MySpace popped up, made a little profile. Nobody knows what it is.
That's what happened to me, dude. What happened with MySpace? Same thing. I was dating my high school girlfriend, went over to Iraq. I'm 19 years old. We're stormtrooping through Baghdad doing the whole thing. And I didn't even have an email account at the time. I mean, I set up a hotmail in 2005 when we were over in Iraq. And then MySpace popped up, made a little profile. Nobody knows what it is.
Well, it depends because we got medically retired. That becomes an issue that no one ever gets you prepped for. So we'll say, you know, E7 and the SEAL teams, I'll say you make 90 grand a year, everything all in. As soon as you start that medical retirement board, they take away all your special pays, dive pay, jump pay, demo pay, hazardous duty, AIP. You lose it all.
Well, it depends because we got medically retired. That becomes an issue that no one ever gets you prepped for. So we'll say, you know, E7 and the SEAL teams, I'll say you make 90 grand a year, everything all in. As soon as you start that medical retirement board, they take away all your special pays, dive pay, jump pay, demo pay, hazardous duty, AIP. You lose it all.
And depending on how messed up you are and how long that whole process takes, Thank you. Thank you.
And depending on how messed up you are and how long that whole process takes, Thank you. Thank you.
The social media is not even a thing yet. You type in different names. I type my sister's name. It pops up. Type in random people's names. They pop up. I type my girlfriend's name. Hit enter. It pops up. She's got a profile. I'm like, oh, this is cool. It's got a little bio. Like, this is my name. I'm crazy in love with my boyfriend. His name's Brian. I'm like, my name ain't Brian.
The social media is not even a thing yet. You type in different names. I type my sister's name. It pops up. Type in random people's names. They pop up. I type my girlfriend's name. Hit enter. It pops up. She's got a profile. I'm like, oh, this is cool. It's got a little bio. Like, this is my name. I'm crazy in love with my boyfriend. His name's Brian. I'm like, my name ain't Brian.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Like, looking around, I'm like, what is this? You're joking. No. The whole thing. She'd been dating a guy living in my house the entire time I was in school. Stop it. Oh, no. Really. So what do you do? Call them. Better pack your shit and get out of my house right now. Never talk to you again. But it's the same thing. They'll start complaining about the deployment cycle being gone.
Like, looking around, I'm like, what is this? You're joking. No. The whole thing. She'd been dating a guy living in my house the entire time I was in school. Stop it. Oh, no. Really. So what do you do? Call them. Better pack your shit and get out of my house right now. Never talk to you again. But it's the same thing. They'll start complaining about the deployment cycle being gone.
Thank you.
Thank you.
You're not making enough time for me. I can't. I don't have Wi-Fi. And then it just becomes a huge burden, a huge mental taxation. It's like, is this improving my performance overseas? No. Well, I got to get rid of you. Get away. Or you marry a unicorn like my wife, who's just an absolute gangster. She gets it. And... I can count the times on one hand.
You're not making enough time for me. I can't. I don't have Wi-Fi. And then it just becomes a huge burden, a huge mental taxation. It's like, is this improving my performance overseas? No. Well, I got to get rid of you. Get away. Or you marry a unicorn like my wife, who's just an absolute gangster. She gets it. And... I can count the times on one hand.
It is. And you really saw in the old school guard, you know, I say the wives that really cut their teeth during GWAT during the early days, no support, brand new in the war. We didn't know what was going on. Deployment cycles just kept increasing over and over. So you've got this batch of, you know, a couple hundred wives that are really, really bought in.
It is. And you really saw in the old school guard, you know, I say the wives that really cut their teeth during GWAT during the early days, no support, brand new in the war. We didn't know what was going on. Deployment cycles just kept increasing over and over. So you've got this batch of, you know, a couple hundred wives that are really, really bought in.
And then you get this new generation starts to spill in and they've never seen it before. It's really nice to be able to bounce it off. So you check in as a brand new guy and you've got your platoon chief with seven deployments and he's got his wife who's done nine total. She's like, this is what it is. He's never going to tell you what it's really like. This is what it is.
And then you get this new generation starts to spill in and they've never seen it before. It's really nice to be able to bounce it off. So you check in as a brand new guy and you've got your platoon chief with seven deployments and he's got his wife who's done nine total. She's like, this is what it is. He's never going to tell you what it's really like. This is what it is.
You are on your own the entire time. Did you ever meet Brian? I didn't meet Brian, but I did. Yeah. Well, I've talked about that off camera. Yeah. Played a little prank on Brian.
You are on your own the entire time. Did you ever meet Brian? I didn't meet Brian, but I did. Yeah. Well, I've talked about that off camera. Yeah. Played a little prank on Brian.