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Diego 'Yung Pueblo' Perez

Appearances

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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That's when I got up to 100,000 followers. It took three years. And then something happened in 2017 where it just really started picking up. And it was a big jump, I think, from 2017 to 20, I would say like 2019, where it got up to like 500,000. And then it just kept growing from there.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

1036.027

I think it was definitely a lot of right place, right time. I was also interested in the topics of self-love. I was also interested in letting go. I wanted to add my part to the conversation. And... I noticed that right off the bat, people are looking for things to share. So if you ever want to grow a page, the main thing that you have to do is just create shareable content.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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Collectively, misery has gone out of style. I grew up really poor. I was being so deeply imprinted with sadness. And what I ended up doing was try to numb myself so that I wouldn't have to be aware of my own pain. But when I started meditating, there was this idea of internal liberation, literally the freedom from misery, the misery that we cause ourselves.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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And that's very different from just taking a picture of your face. People aren't going to share that. Or taking a picture of your trip to Paris. People aren't going to share that. But if you bring forward whatever knowledge you have, whatever... thing that you're reflecting on and you put it together, then there's a chance for people to share it in their story or share it on their grid.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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And that's where things really grow. And I think what really kept things growing was the consistency of it. I would post every day, once a day for years. And I think the only day that I skip is Thanksgiving and Mother's Day because everyone's posting. So no one's going to see anything. Yeah.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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That's when you know that you've created a good piece of content. Because I write poetry a lot less now. Now I just put together whatever my main ideas are or any thoughts that come to mind. I've noticed something that's really interesting is when I release... something on Substack, I'll write an essay, somewhere between like 500 or 800 words, but very quickly I'll share it.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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And then people will take that essay and turn it into content. They'll quote you, but then they'll just take pieces of it and then they'll expand on it from their own perspective. And it's like, if you put something out there that inspires someone else to create content, it's good.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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Yeah, it even comes down to like changing fonts is a big deal. Like you gotta be really careful because it's part of your brand and that's how people recognize you because they're recognizing you almost subconsciously because there's literally what every one of us experiences on a daily basis is that there's a war on our attention. Everyone is battling for your attention.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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So as someone's scrolling, they'll almost like subconsciously quickly recognize, even before they even see your name, they'll like, oh, the font and everything. They're like, oh, this is something that I normally would give five seconds to. And then they give you their time. I even got to the point where I was with a particular font for... I think from 2017 to like 2020.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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And then the phone was falling apart. The app that I got the font from, you know, I couldn't get the actual font. And I was like, dang, I just need to let it go. And I had to make the jump. And it took a little while for people to get used to it. But there are always going to be dips. It's fine. It's totally natural. Your algorithm is not going to be

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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And then when you, life changes dramatically after that.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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perfect all the time it's going to have highs and lows so you just deal with it and then over time if you're still giving value to the audience they'll respond to that let's hold that thought and take a quick break with our sponsors

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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It's not so much about the other person, but it's about how you feel when you're with them.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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Tip number one is that you have to be ready to be consistent at a relentless level. There's just no way around it. No one gets big from one post. That's you have a massive celebrity who shares your stuff, that's great. But what's much more valuable is someone who shares your stuff who has 200 people who follow them.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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And having a lot of people who have smaller accounts who support you, that feels really key. So I think sometimes we have this idea where if this one giant celebrity shares my stuff, it'll change everything. It really won't. It helps, but it's not everything. So you have to be ready for consistency and then you have to learn what 15 to 20% of your knowledge base is.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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that you feel really good about sharing that connects with an audience and makes that audience excited? Because for each one of us, right? Like I mentioned earlier, like I really love history. I don't write about history. That's not going to excite anybody. I'm also not like a professional at it.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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My strength is putting out self-reflective material and I think finding what is your 15, 20% that you want to share and then see if you can turn that into a product.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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I'm trying to be really careful about it. I monetize through selling books. That's how I make my money through the year. And I also, I'm in the process of building businesses as well, which is a different thing. It's almost separate to the Instagram. I can help promote these things, but I'm not directly monetizing through them. So I've never been big on...

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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selling courses or anything like that, simply because I understand why some people get a bad rep where they sell a course for like 6,000 bucks. Like no, you know, very few people have 6,000 bucks. And then are you really giving them enough value for something that's that expensive?

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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So to me, I'd rather reach more people and make sure that if I'm ever asking them to pay for anything, that it's the minimum amount because I just rather have more people come. So like if I have an event, I make sure that to buy the ticket, it's the minimum amount. And some cities are more expensive than others. In Boston, the tickets are $39.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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In New York City, they're $60 because that's the market. But I'm not charging $200 a ticket or anything like that. I think to me, just especially coming from my background, accessibility has always been really important. And economics is almost the first trend of accessibility where it's like, can you even pay to get in? And the same thing with the sub stack.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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If you want to sign up for my paid sub stack, it's $5 a month. And I just rather have more people. And I think what I've learned is that If I give away a lot of good quality things for free, people will be interested in buying the book. I'm getting closer to selling almost 2 million books. And a lot of that is because I give so much away for free on Instagram.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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I think if you're always responding to people with tension in your voice, different levels of stress where you're going from really stressed to like a little bit stress. And if you're finding difficulty and the joy of creating, like if you're not really connecting with that joy of creating, because I think that's why a lot of entrepreneurs build businesses.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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You see a gap in the market and then you think to yourself, oh, how fun would it be to build this thing? It's not just for the paycheck at the end or the moment when you sell your company. I think the actual process of creation, it can be so fun. If you look at really high performers, there's just so many people like Sam Altman, he meditates like,

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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So many others, you know, who are people who are VPs at Google that created all the products that we use today, a bunch of them meditate, you know, so there's a lot of people are finding different ways of taking care of themselves because there's a big relationship between tension and creativity. So if your mind is really, really tense, you're not going to be as creative as you can be.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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But if you are able to process that tension, then your creativity is going to go up.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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I think the immediate quality is to not be impulsively reactive. If you hear someone say something you don't like, you're not like, no, that's wrong. You take a moment and you actually can step outside of your perspective to be able to see more of why are they seeing things in that way. And also, if you're a smarter than you in specific areas.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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So if they're coming at you with a specific view that you don't agree with, then you should be able to lean on the fact that, oh, actually, maybe I'm not understanding something to be able to really check in.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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But I think that quality of not being immediately impulsive reactive and being able to step outside of your perspective to see the perspective of another, that's real emotional maturity in business.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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I think especially if you're an entrepreneur, you have to be really careful because the ego just makes the mind so cloudy. And just because you've had a few wins doesn't mean everything else that you're going to have is going to be a win. And I think one of the ways to combat that is by honestly hiring really smart young people.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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Because as you get older, being able to build a really successful business in your 20s or your 30s Are you still understanding that the world, like the way that you saw it back then, it's going to change radically when you're 50 and you're trying to build another company.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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So I think tapping into people that you can trust feels really important, but I think the ego, it just makes things rougher and it can push you through hard moments, but it's not going to make the best product possible.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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Thank you so much. I'm so happy to be here.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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Yeah, it's funny. I was talking to one of my mentors the other day and he was going through all these different famous entrepreneurs and he was like, everybody is trauma-based. Everybody is attacking a problem because there's some lack of safety. You know, something happened when they were younger. And then as we were talking, I was listening and I was like, oh, wow.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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And I realized to myself, I'm like, my greatest trauma was growing up in poverty. I'm glad that my mom and dad had a good relationship, but my relationship with them was often seeing them fight because they were arguing about how to pay the rent. And there was a moment when I was about 13, 14 years old, where it hit me that I have my back up against the wall.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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No one's ever gonna come save me because my family just doesn't have money. So I need to figure this out. And that's when I felt this impulse to just get more savvy, put more effort into the jobs that I was working in back then. And even when I think about writing, I write to help people, but I also write to help my family because I know that my mom and dad are counting on me.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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I'm fortunate enough that I have this ability to speak to a lot of people, to have a big audience, but that's also a responsibility to take care of my family.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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Yeah, there's two things that are really important. Even if you don't have a therapy practice or even if you don't meditate, it's still really important to understand how short the walk is from gratitude to happiness or from gratitude to peace.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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So reminding yourself that even if you're in a dark moment, even if your company feels like it's going to fail, there's still a few things to be grateful for. There's still so much that's been accomplished. The other aspect too that's valuable outside of gratitude is even intellectually embracing the truth of impermanence.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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A lot of what I do when I meditate is I'm learning how to literally feel impermanence in the body. But even at the mental level, you can understand this hard moment, it's going to pass. It's going to change. We've already gotten over so many hard moments before. This is another one that we can face and overcome. But I think reminding yourself, because when we get caught in a storm,

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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Our logic goes out the window and we're like, oh my God, this storm is going to last forever. Like, this is going to be terrible. It's going to end everything. But no, you're probably going to be fine.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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It's hard because a lot of times when people go into, and you see this a lot in Silicon Valley, where it's like, we create companies, we go into it with the love to create, but then it becomes like a social status game. And it's like, who knows who has accomplished this? Who sold at a higher valuation? And those are important facts, but that doesn't define if you're a good person or not.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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Yeah, it took on a lot of meaning over time. I initially put that name together just because it was like an honor to my Ecuadorian roots because I was born in Ecuador, but grew up in the United States. And as I started meditating, I started realizing that I'm really immature. I have a lot of growing to do, but I've also been a big fan of history. I've been studying history since I could read.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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That doesn't define if I want to talk to you or not. There are so many people who have negative assets and they're amazing human beings. So I think it's really important to understand that your value and your happiness as a human being is just not fully connected to what you've accomplished. And I think it's dangerous territory to walk on. It's almost like walking on a pond that's frozen over.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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And when you're walking around with that mentality, it's so easy for you to just fall into the water because it's an illusion. You know, it's fake.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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This one's been really special because I've sort of forced myself to hold off on writing it because I wanted to spend some more time cultivating my craft as a writer and just becoming clear, developing better chapters, just really honing the message. But the inspiration from the book really came from when I went to those first few meditation retreats. I went because I needed to save myself.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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I felt like I needed to overcome the sadness. I needed to just deal with myself and start a new life. But I was shocked to see how the moment that I went in to go and save myself, I was cultivating these qualities of patience, of better understanding, of compassion, of listening to myself. And then when I got home and I'm talking to my wife,

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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These are the exact skills that were missing in my relationship. And because I spent time cultivating them, I was then able to offer them and almost started a new chapter of harmony that wasn't there before. And to me, it was shocking because I went into meditating to save myself. And then I did help myself, but I also almost like reignited my relationship with her.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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Those are three really big, important green flags because kindness, it's really valuable to understand that whoever you're in proximity to, whoever you're closest to, that could be your roommate, your partner, family members, they're going to see the best of you. And they're also going to see the worst of you. And part of that is because we feel vulnerable with them.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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We can actually open up with them and that's really good. But sometimes when the relationship is long lasting, there come points where you're not bringing that same gentleness. You not bringing that same kindness as you did when the relationship first started.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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So it's important to know that when someone approaches you, they are honest with you and they can tell you that they're feeling down, but they're not taking it out on you. The other element of that is the compassion. And similar to what we were talking about for entrepreneurs, it's a very specific type of compassion

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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where you can step outside of your perspective and see the perspective of another, because in all, whenever you want to solve an argument, it's that specific compassion that helps you see each other, because you can actually take a moment to see your partner's perspective, and then they can see yours, and then you understand where you each are coming from. And the last element is growth.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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And I saw that humanity as a whole, Like we don't know the basic fundamentals that we try to teach children. When a child is like three or four years old, we're trying to teach them how to clean up after themselves, how to share, to not hit each other, to tell the truth, to be generally kind to each other.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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If you're in a relationship, it's going to show you the best of you, and it's also going to show where you need to put energy into. And I think that's one thing that I saw right off the bat when I was first with my wife was like, I needed to improve my ability to listen.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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And over time, putting energy into that and then all these other qualities that I have had to develop to be able to bring more harmony into the relationship. I think growth is just something that we don't really have a choice but to embrace if we want to have a happy relationship.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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know it's really hard too because it sometimes feel like attachment is love but it's not attachment is literally the craving for things to exist in a very particular way having the people that you love act in these ways have these beliefs they agree with you on these critical things but life is not always going to be like that and when you have these big attachments all these cravings for things to exist in particular ways

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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they will manifest as control in daily life. And that's when you get things like parents demanding children, this is what you need to study in school and you don't really have another option or partners trying to control another partner. And that's when you get selfishness. That's when you get manipulation and these types of behaviors that squeeze the life out of a relationship.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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Yeah, that alignment's really important. And honestly, that alignment should hopefully come earlier on. And I think I've seen this struggle happen in relationships of friends that I've seen where they would literally break up because they just waited too long to have the conversation about whether they wanted to have kids or not.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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And then they found out that they're actually on very different pages. I think the alignment has to come from honesty and it has to come from the beginning where it's like you start dating and then once you feel the reality of the magnetic connection, you let them know, hey, I'm interested in setting up something serious with you, having a serious partnership.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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And then as you go along, you keep revealing more and more of your values and seeing where they match and where they differ. And if they differ, is it tolerable? Is that okay with you? Because I think that's one of the nice things is that my wife and I, we don't agree on everything. And that's part of the good part of our relationship is that we have different views.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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And these are things that individuals may have mastered, but as a human collective, we haven't mastered these things at all. So the name Young Pueblo to me, it's more so a reminder to me personally to just remember that humanity is in this moment of maturing and a great transition.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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But on the key important things, there is a ton of alignment and that helps us have a value system because just the same way as an individual, right? You have these three different guides that you have inside of you where you have your values, you have your intuition and you have your nervous system. And they've really helped clarify what direction to take when you're moving forward.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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But you have the same thing in a relationship where, you know, your nervous system should be very relaxed around your partner. Your intuition should feel like it wants to be next to your partner and your values have that alignment.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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I think instead of trying to have control and instead of just coming from a place of expectations and attachments, you want to double down on commitments. And commitments are very different. It's you clearly lining out how you would like your happiness to be supported, what your needs are and what your wants are. And then your partner is then taking a look at what you've laid out.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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And then they're telling you, actually, this sounds pretty good to me. I voluntarily commit to trying to do X, Y, and Z for you. I'm not going to be perfect at it. I'm going to make mistakes, but this is something that I can to do my part in this relationship and vice versa.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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So being honest and communicating how you would like to be supported and also checking in with that, not just expecting that what we talked about two years ago is going to be the same now. That's also going to change. But I think you want to double down on commitments because then there's no coercion. There's no manipulation. There's no control. You're just telling your truth.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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They share your truth. And you're like, oh, I can do this for you. This sounds really good to me.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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One clear thing is my partner made it really clear that she loves when I'm in charge of the dishwasher. She loves when I'm helping with the compost. There's something about me taking care of the compost, which feels like the biggest thing that I could do for her. I would have been oblivious to that if she had not told me.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

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And then when she tells me like, this is important for me, I'm like, great, I can do that for you. If that makes you happy, I don't want to do it. But if that makes you happy, I'm down, you know, because that feels sweeter to me. So being able to communicate with that, I would have never been able to read her mind, but she just made it clear.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

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And it can be simple as something like that or something like one of my favorite stories is from my wife's mom and dad, where when they were having an argument pretty soon after they got married, this was back when they were younger, they're in their seventies now. My wife's mom was saying how they were arguing about something, but his tone became really loud.

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And to her, it felt like he was screaming. So she told him, she was like, I want to have so many arguments with you. I want to be married to you for decades. And I know that marriage comes with arguments. But please just talk to me. Don't raise your voice because then I feel threatened. I feel scared. And he was like, great.

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But you know, in that moment, she said, this is how I want to be supported. Can you do this for me? And he was like, of course. For him, it didn't even feel like screaming. He just was a little louder, but that's how he grew up in his house. So you can't make those things clear without communicating about them.

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And I think that it's interesting to me that there are so many people, literally millions of people out there who are meditating, millions of people who are using different forms of therapy. And it almost feels like collectively we're just, you know, like misery has gone out of style.

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I think there's a very practical thing that you can do. And you can do this whether you're in a relationship with someone or you just have roommates. My wife and I, we started noticing when we were meditating that our minds just did not want to take any accountability.

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We're exhausted by misery and we're like, okay, I want to figure out how to feel better, whether that's in my mind or in my body.

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I think for the first part of our relationship, whenever one of us would feel tension, we would just try to put the blame on the other person. Even if it was illogical, even if it made no sense, it was like, how do I make this tension in my mind your fault? And... This happened over and over and over.

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And then we realized we were like, wait, actually me feeling down in this moment has nothing to do with you. Sometimes it does. Sometimes we say something and we need to apologize, but we were noticing like 70% of the time, I'm like just looking for reasons to fight. And what we found to counteract that was when we wake up, let's just tell each other how we feel in a very passive way.

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Just tell each other, I feel good right now, or I feel heavy, or I didn't get a lot of rest. I woke up really tired, or I feel a little angry. And just knowing these bits of information Because you're naming it, the person who's feeling it is naming it and your partner's hearing it, for you, that makes you aware of where your mind is at.

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And then your mind doesn't jump into just creating more narratives to make it worse. And then your partner also knows, oh, let me give them their space. Let me treat them a little more gently. Is there anything I can do to make your day easier? But that gives the both of you the information you need to work with the situation.

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And we do that one time in the morning and then one time in the early afternoon. And honestly, that's been so helpful because then I know if I hear stress in her voice, it's not really about me because she already told me that she was feeling stress and vice versa.

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And it's not formal. It's not like, oh, let's sit down and check in. It's not like that. It's like, it's easy. It's just... You just say it without someone even asking you. And whenever she tells me, when there's a big shift in her mood, I'm like, amazing. Thank you for giving me the information I need to be successful.

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You got to learn how to forgive. I think especially when you see someone, because this happens, right? You have a very difficult moment. You resolve it. The person genuinely apologizes and they start showing changed behavior where they changed the thing that was a problem before. But then your mind will keep... This is the problem with heavy emotions is that...

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when you're feeling anger, the mind wants to make it bigger. It wants to invite other people into the anger by either saying something mean to them or by telling them the reason that why you're angry so that they can be angry with you. But then other times, if there's no one around us, the mind will just go back and back and back in time to pull something out.

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And it'll grab the last biggest argument, even though it's resolved, it just comes back. And I think You have to repeatedly learn how to let go, especially if the other person is like, I haven't done that in years. I'm not trying to live my life like that anymore, but it's quite challenging.

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We've been together for, it's hard because it changes every year, but we've been together for, we'll be 10 years married this summer. And I think that means we've been together for 17 years.

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It's challenging out there because I feel like a lot of people are playing coy. There's a few things happening that I see often where one is sometimes people are spoiled for choice. And this happens in a lot of major cities where it's just like you're dating like eight people, but you're not really giving any of them a really serious focus. And that makes it really challenging to see

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You can like have a very superficial interaction with somebody and never realize how amazing they actually are. I think the other thing too that happens is that people look for incremental improvements in their partners. So you'll be dating someone for two, three months and then

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You end up dropping them because you're looking for someone who's 2% more attractive or 2% more peaceful, just because you don't necessarily want to deal with an argument that comes up. You just kind of toss the relationship away. And I hear this all the time from friends.

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I was really fortunate. So I grew up in Boston and I grew up really poor. When I think about what my major trauma was, it was literally just struggling through poverty with my family. My mom, she worked cleaning houses. My dad, he worked at a supermarket. So we were stuck in a very classic American poverty trap.

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But it's challenging because our society, the way all the apps are with, you know, either dating apps or just all apps in general, right? They're all set up to just make your life easier. Like we live in a DoorDash Uber society and we expect that from our personal growth and from our relationships for it to just be fixed and easy. It's just not going to be like that.

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So we need to be really careful about wanting things to be slightly better. And then we end up dumping something great for the chance of something better that is just like an illusion in our minds.

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I think one of the main things is it's not so much about the other person, but it's about how you feel when you're with them. I feel like it's really important to know, because I think when I look back to my wife and I, when we got together, if we both had checklists of what we wanted in a partner, neither of us would have checked anything off.

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We were just the opposite of what we were both looking for. But what we did both feel was this deep connection magnetic pull towards each other where it was easy to text each other. We wanted to be in contact. We wanted to find times to hang out and life wasn't really getting in the way. But I think having that mutual connectiveness with a person is very important.

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I think also clarity is really important. Just being honest. Like if you're really feeling someone, let them know because they might have no idea. You might have gone on a few dates and not know that you're actually really connected hoping to build something with them.

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But I think it's really tough out there and you have to really trust your intuition and your nervous system and then see more than just what's on the face and the body. Do they have emotional qualities? Like, do they have an emotional skillset? Like, How do they treat other people besides you when you're out together? Like how is their kindness there? Are they reactive?

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How do they deal with a difficult moment? I think that's always a very telling time when you see someone handle a challenge that's unexpected. How do they do it? Are they calm through it or are they super chaotic?

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I think a lot of that is just simply being growth-oriented. I think that's one thing that's really nice about the time period that we live in. The wellness world has developed so much, but we have seen the value of putting energy into our personal growth, but then we need to take a look at finding a partner who also values growing but doesn't necessarily have to grow in the same way.

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And I think once you can understand, even though myself and this other person don't necessarily use the same tools, like maybe they meditate and maybe you use therapy, but if there's still that inclination to grow, then you're going to be able to overcome tough moments together.

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I was fortunate to get connected with this youth organizing group called BYOP, and that was based in Boston. And what we did was basically just learn how to organize ourselves, literally bring people together around a common cause. And then we would go to different schools and ask students, what do you want to change about your school? And they would either focus on changing different policies.

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it's challenging that you need to simultaneously accept your imperfections and you need to accept yourself for who you are. And then also understand that, you know, I have a lot of growing to do. I can be an imperfect person, but I can simultaneously say, okay, I'm not going to expect perfection for myself.

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But it would be valuable for me to slow down instead of making decisions really fast, for me to not jump to conclusions and just understanding where your pain points are because often our pain points are self-created. We're causing our own tension, but where are you causing yourself tension and how can you relieve that?

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No matter what, if you find someone, you really are going to find them through proximity. So you do have to put yourself out there, whether that's online or whether that's in person, you're not going to build a connection without proximity. put yourself out there and then just be the realist version of yourself.

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Don't worry about trying to build a facade or trying to create a version of yourself that's more likable. That's going to create superficial interactions. Instead, just be you, go out there. When you do find someone that you're connecting with, focus on them, tell them that you're interested and then see if there's enough there to build a relationship.

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Oh, that's a really good one. I think if you're an entrepreneur or you're working on building businesses, it's really important to know that you need really good partners. And when you're starting a business with someone, These days, I think it's less about working for an exact amount of time.

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It's less about, okay, I'm going to put in 40 hours or this is how many hours I can put in for this project. It's not so much like that anymore. It's more, what can you deliver to the project? So I do my Young Pueblo work, but I also have a venture capital company that I'm a partner in and I co-founded. But I don't so much say like, oh, I can work 10 hours a week or 20 hours a week or 30.

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It changes. Sometimes when we're fundraising, there's tons of work. When we're just assessing companies and making investments, it's slightly less work. And it's more so like, what can I deliver to the group? And if that feels valuable to them, then they accept your partnership without saying, oh, I'm going to work X amount of time.

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You just make sure that you over deliver and everyone's going to be happy. So like that, because I've noticed something about, you know, a lot of my friends and mentors in Silicon Valley where they're building like three companies at a time and they're doing a fantastic job, but it's not like they're working 120 hour weeks. They're just like, this is what they deliver to each situation.

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One time we had a citywide campaign where we changed the guidance counselor policy. Another citywide campaign where we helped all the young people in the city get free passes so that they can go to school. Because there were so many young people who were impoverished in the city of Boston that it costs money to take the transit system.

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Yeah, no, you never want to trade time for money. That's the worst. You want to deliver and make sure you get your equity and then build it as big as you can.

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No matter what, I make my growth come first. And that really is meditating. So for last year, I started the year off from January to February meditating for 45 days. It was a totally silent meditation course. And even though my agents were upset and people who I'm working with, they wanted more of my time. It was actually much more beneficial for me to take that time, meditate.

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And then when I came out, everything was better. I was able to be productive at a whole nother level. And similarly, after this book launches, I'm going to go away to meditate for 20 days in April to May. And I'm thrilled for that. And I think when I look at a lot of people who are really, really highly productive, they take time to cultivate themselves.

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And that's really important if you're going to keep producing.

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I think if you're listening and you're interested, definitely go check it out. And I think if it sounds like too much or too long for you, there's other styles. There's a lot of different meditation styles out there. So you kind of just have to find the thing that connects with your intuition and is challenging but not overwhelming. And I'd say for you, you're a very creative person.

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Imagine when your mind is even lighter, because I was not introduced to my creativity until I started meditating. And I see that all the time. I know people who meditate who are like McKinsey consultants or like people who are artists and they paint and No matter what field you're in, you just start producing at a whole nother level. I had one friend who, she's a producer and creates TV shows.

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And after she finished her retreat, she was crushing it.

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You can follow me on Instagram at youngpueblo, Y-U-N-G underscore P-U-E-B-L-O. And my new book, How to Love Better, it's in bookstores. You can also find it online on Amazon. And I'm also on Stubstack. You can follow my newsletter if you want to read my longer articles. And yeah, thank you so much. This has been so much fun.

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But it was really empowering to see if there's something that we want, we can organize around it and make it happen. And that was a great lesson to learn at 15, 16 years old.

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Yeah, I think that was the interesting part. When I was in high school, growing up, the group that I was with, BYOP, we were constantly winning. We would win campaign after campaign and I internally still did not feel good. And when I went to university, when I got there, it...

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really came to a head where growing up and being a part of that constant struggle, it was so challenging that I was oblivious to the fact that it was placing such big imprints on my mind. I was being so deeply imprinted with sadness, with anxiety, with a scarcity mindset, and I had no way of processing my emotions. You know, this is a very pre-wellness world.

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When I got to university, it was 2006 to 2010, and what I ended up doing was I could feel the tension in my body, but what I would try to do was, how can I avoid it as fast as possible? And the best way was to drink and to smoke and to do different drugs and just try to numb myself so that I wouldn't have to be aware of my own pain.

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I was really fortunate that one of my best friends who I used to be crazy with, we were crazy together in college. He was traveling through India and did a silent 10 day meditation course. And he ended up writing an email to me and a few other friends all about love, compassion, and goodwill. And I was like shocked, you know, because this is the same person I used to party with all the time.

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And now he's trying to talk to me about the importance of love and goodwill. But it was at such a good moment because I knew that I was done with the drugs. I wanted to build a new life for myself. I wanted to just reset my life and really focus on growing. And when I got to that silent 10-day course, it was... Very challenging. I found it quite difficult. It was the summer of 2012.

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It was hard to like always be there because you're there, you're silent and you're feeling whatever's coming up. And I could feel the tension, the anxiety, all those things that I used to run away from. But I noticed that when the retreat was over, my mind felt lighter, undeniably lighter. And I was shocked by it. I was just like, is this real? Like, is this really, do I really feel better?

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I just kept going back and it's been wonderful. So I started with 10-day retreats and now I'll go away still to 10-day courses, but also 20, 30, 45 days long. And I've put a lot of energy into really investing in my mind.

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This is one of the many different types of Vipassana. This one is taught by S. N. Goenka. He's an Indian man of Burmese descent, and he basically was given this technique by another man, U Ba Khin, and it basically originates from the Buddhist teaching And what's really powerful about it is that Vipassana teaches you how to see reality as it is.

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And one thing that became really clear when I started meditating was that I'm not actually looking at reality clearly. What's happening is that all the things that I felt in the past, they're really clogging up my perception. They're making me see the present through the lens of the past. And that makes it really hard to make good decisions, be able to really connect with people.

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And I think that's one of the powerful things is that if you can train the mind, because when I go to these retreats, it feels like I'm going to the mental gym. We're literally cultivating the qualities of awareness, cultivating non-reaction, cultivating compassion. And then when you make these qualities that are within everyone's minds, but they're not necessarily strong.

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You have to make them stronger. Life changes dramatically after that.

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I would say even a little more subtle. You are feeling your emotions without reacting to them. It's almost like you're creating space to just observe them as opposed to suppressing it or letting the emotions swallow you up. So there's a very subtle middle ground. It teaches you that things aren't just black and white. There's a gray area.

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It's cool to talking with you about it because you have the context from the activist background. So there's always this idea of liberation, right? Constantly where so many groups of people have come together to either make certain values true or to break the chains of oppressors and whatnot and just recreate their history. I was always fascinated by that idea. And when I started meditating...

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there was this idea of internal liberation, literally the freedom from suffering, the freedom from misery and the misery that we cause ourselves. And a lot of that, that's what shocked me because it's true. When you're moving through life, sometimes there are people who hurt you and that affects you deeply, but ultimately the person who hurt you is not going to heal you. And

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What's really causing a lot of tension in your mind is your own perception and your own reaction to that heaviness that's inside you. So I'm grateful that I've been walking on this path because it really ultimately helps you stop all that craving, all that aversion, and just helps you observe and act as opposed to react.

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What I'm really hoping, and I think what I've seen in myself and in others is that if you really focus on the internal dynamic, because this happens often to a lot of people who are activists and are out there trying to change the world for the better, is that it quickly leads to burnout because you're not healing the tension and the rough parts of your own ego.

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And I like the historical example of the French Revolution where there were people who had really powerful ideals, wanted to create a republic, give people power. And then once they killed the king, a massacre happened.

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And it's interesting where there is always the chance that if you're working towards something that is good, but if you don't heal yourself, you end up recreating the thing that you were once fighting against. And power has this ability to, it almost functions like a magnet and it just pulls out the rough parts of the ego. And you see this historically.

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People are trying to change the world for the better and then they get power and it's like, whoa, what happened to that person?

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And I think that's why these two things need to move side by side where you're dealing with your issues, you're cultivating your self-love because if your self-love is real, if it's actually real, it's not just about you, it opens the door to unconditional love for all beings. It's not perfect unconditional love, but it opens that door. And I think that's really important for people to realize.

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Once you start really observing yourself and you see that struggle, you know, wow, other people are struggling just like me. And you start having more compassion for them.

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It's really true because then you can make anything you want happen. And then that could just bring out all the evils.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

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920.376

It's a really interesting journey. And I've been following your page for a while and I love the way you market. So before I get into all of this, because I want to hear your insights as well. My journey with Instagram, I felt intuitively, like after I had meditated a few courses, I knew that I wasn't perfectly wise or perfectly healed, nothing like that, right?

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

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938.426

But I knew that stuff was changing inside me and I felt better. So I thought, okay, let me... reflect because I could feel my intuition pushing me. You should write, even though you don't know everything, just reflect, reflect openly. And I was really inspired by the first generation Instagram poets because the first generation Instagram, they weren't long form writers, they were poets.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

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962.246

And it was RM Drake and Rupi Kaur, and they were sharing their stuff and simple black and white images. So I thought to myself, I'm like, oh, let me just go out there and reflect. And I knew that I had a very different message from them because they all, they each have their own unique message. But let me also adopt that format of that simple black and white imagery. And it was really powerful.

Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

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987.042

I think once I started sharing, it was awesome, like sharing little poems or main themes from what I was writing about. And people would write in the captions. And that was back in the day where it almost felt like the Instagram conversation was healthier. People were just really kind to each other. And it took time. It took time for, I think, between 2014 to 2017.

Young and Profiting with Hala Taha (Entrepreneurship, Sales, Marketing)

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1000.341

It took time for, I think between 2014 to 2017, that's when I got up to 100,000 followers. It took three years. And then something happened in 2017 where it just really started picking up. And it was a big jump, I think, from 2017 to 20, I would say like 2019, where it got up to like 500,000. And then it just kept growing from there.

Young and Profiting with Hala Taha (Entrepreneurship, Sales, Marketing)

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101.297

Collectively, misery has gone out of style. I grew up really poor. I was being so deeply imprinted with sadness. And what I ended up doing was try to numb myself so that I wouldn't have to be aware of my own pain. But when I started meditating, there was this idea of internal liberation, literally the freedom from misery, the misery that we cause ourselves.

Young and Profiting with Hala Taha (Entrepreneurship, Sales, Marketing)

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1032.389

I think it was definitely a lot of right place, right time. I was also interested in the topics of self-love. I was also interested in letting go. I wanted to add my part to the conversation. And... I noticed that right off the bat, people are looking for things to share. So if you ever want to grow a page, the main thing that you have to do is just create shareable content.

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1058.907

And that's very different from just taking a picture of your face. People aren't going to share that. Or taking a picture of your trip to Paris. People aren't going to share that. But if you bring forward whatever knowledge you have, whatever... thing that you're reflecting on and you put it together, then there's a chance for people to share it in their story or share it on their grid.

Young and Profiting with Hala Taha (Entrepreneurship, Sales, Marketing)

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1080.1

And that's where things really grow. And I think what really kept things growing was the consistency of it. I would post every day, once a day for years. And I think the only day that I skip is Thanksgiving and Mother's Day because everyone's posting. So no one's going to see anything.

Young and Profiting with Hala Taha (Entrepreneurship, Sales, Marketing)

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1150.731

That's when you know that you've created a good piece of content. Because I write poetry a lot less now. Now I just put together whatever my main ideas are or any thoughts that come to mind. I've noticed something that's really interesting is when I release... something on Substack, I'll write an essay, somewhere between like 500 or 800 words, but very quickly I'll share it.

Young and Profiting with Hala Taha (Entrepreneurship, Sales, Marketing)

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1171.962

And then people will take that essay and turn it into content. They'll quote you, but then they'll just take pieces of it and then they'll expand on it from their own perspective. And it's like, if you put something out there that inspires someone else to create content, it's good.

Young and Profiting with Hala Taha (Entrepreneurship, Sales, Marketing)

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1218.331

Yeah, it even comes down to like changing fonts is a big deal. Like you gotta be really careful because it's part of your brand and that's how people recognize you because they're recognizing you almost subconsciously because there's literally what every one of us experiences on a daily basis is that there's a war on our attention. Everyone is battling for your attention.

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123.725

And then when you, life changes dramatically after that.

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1239.895

So as someone's scrolling, they'll almost like subconsciously quickly recognize, even before they even see your name, they'll like, oh, the font and everything. They're like, oh, this is something that I normally would give five seconds to. And then they give you their time. I even got to the point where I was with a particular font for... I think from 2017 to like 2020.

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1263.379

And then the phone was falling apart. The app that I got the font from, you know, I couldn't get the actual font. And I was like, dang, I just need to let it go. And I had to make the jump. And it took a little while for people to get used to it. But there are always going to be dips. It's fine. It's totally natural. Your algorithm is not going to be

Young and Profiting with Hala Taha (Entrepreneurship, Sales, Marketing)

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1282.233

perfect all the time it's going to have highs and lows so you just deal with it and then over time if you're still giving value to the audience they'll respond to that let's hold that thought and take a quick break with our sponsors

Young and Profiting with Hala Taha (Entrepreneurship, Sales, Marketing)

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130.922

It's not so much about the other person, but it's about how you feel when you're with them.

Young and Profiting with Hala Taha (Entrepreneurship, Sales, Marketing)

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148.799

Tip number one is...

Young and Profiting with Hala Taha (Entrepreneurship, Sales, Marketing)

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1586.107

Tip number one is that you have to be ready to be consistent at a relentless level. There's just no way around it. No one gets big from one post. That's just totally an illusion. It's like a bunch of tiny little victories. And even when... you have a massive celebrity who shares your stuff, that's great.

Young and Profiting with Hala Taha (Entrepreneurship, Sales, Marketing)

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1607.888

But what's much more valuable is someone who shares your stuff who has 200 people who follow them. And having a lot of people who have smaller accounts who support you, that feels really key. So I think sometimes we have this idea where if this one giant celebrity shares my stuff, it'll change everything. It really won't. It helps, but it's not everything.

Young and Profiting with Hala Taha (Entrepreneurship, Sales, Marketing)

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1628.14

So you have to be ready for consistency and then you have to learn what 15 to 20% of your knowledge base is. that you feel really good about sharing that connects with an audience and makes that audience excited? Because for each one of us, right? Like I mentioned earlier, like I really love history. I don't write about history. That's not going to excite anybody.

Young and Profiting with Hala Taha (Entrepreneurship, Sales, Marketing)

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1648.899

I'm also not like a professional at it. My strength is putting out self-reflective material and I think finding what is your 15, 20% that you want to share and then see if you can turn that into a product.

Young and Profiting with Hala Taha (Entrepreneurship, Sales, Marketing)

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1705.609

I'm trying to be really careful about it. I monetize through selling books. That's how I make my money through the year. And I also, I'm in the process of building businesses as well, which is a different thing. It's almost separate to the Instagram. I can help promote these things, but I'm not directly monetizing through them. So I've never been big on...

Young and Profiting with Hala Taha (Entrepreneurship, Sales, Marketing)

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1726.065

selling courses or anything like that, simply because I understand why some people get a bad rep where they sell a course for like 6,000 bucks. Like no, you know, very few people have 6,000 bucks. And then are you really giving them enough value for something that's that expensive?

Young and Profiting with Hala Taha (Entrepreneurship, Sales, Marketing)

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1742.119

So to me, I'd rather reach more people and make sure that if I'm ever asking them to pay for anything, that it's the minimum amount because I just rather have more people come. So like if I have an event, I make sure that to buy the ticket, it's the minimum amount. And some cities are more expensive than others. In Boston, the tickets are $39.

Young and Profiting with Hala Taha (Entrepreneurship, Sales, Marketing)

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1761.695

In New York City, they're $60 because that's the market. But I'm not charging $200 a ticket or anything like that. I think to me, just especially coming from my background, accessibility has always been really important. And economics is almost the first trend of accessibility where it's like, can you even pay to get in? And the same thing with the sub stack.

Young and Profiting with Hala Taha (Entrepreneurship, Sales, Marketing)

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1781.501

If you want to sign up for my paid sub stack, it's $5 a month. And I just rather have more people. And I think what I've learned is that If I give away a lot of good quality things for free, people will be interested in buying the book. I'm getting closer to selling almost 2 million books. And a lot of that is because I give so much away for free on Instagram.

Young and Profiting with Hala Taha (Entrepreneurship, Sales, Marketing)

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1829.491

I think if you're always responding to people with tension in your voice, different levels of stress where you're going from really stressed to like a little bit stress. And if you're finding difficulty and the joy of creating, like if you're not really connecting with that joy of creating, because I think that's why a lot of entrepreneurs build businesses.

Young and Profiting with Hala Taha (Entrepreneurship, Sales, Marketing)

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1849.815

You see a gap in the market and then you think to yourself, oh, how fun would it be to build this thing? It's not just for the paycheck at the end or the moment when you sell your company. I think the actual process of creation, it can be so fun. If you look at really high performers, There's just so many people like Sam Altman.

Young and Profiting with Hala Taha (Entrepreneurship, Sales, Marketing)

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1869.471

He meditates like so many others, you know, who are people who are VPs at Google that created all the products that we use today. A bunch of them meditate, you know, so there's a lot of people are finding different ways of taking care of themselves because There's a big relationship between tension and creativity.

Young and Profiting with Hala Taha (Entrepreneurship, Sales, Marketing)

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1888.664

So if your mind is really, really tense, you're not going to be as creative as you can be. But if you are able to process that tension, then your creativity is going to go up.

Young and Profiting with Hala Taha (Entrepreneurship, Sales, Marketing)

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1910.1

I think the immediate quality is to not be impulsively reactive. If you hear someone say something you don't like, you're not like, no, that's wrong. You take a moment and you actually can step outside of your perspective to be able to see more of why are they seeing things in that way. And also, if you're a smarter than you in specific areas.

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1937.118

So if they're coming at you with a specific view that you don't agree with, then you should be able to lean on the fact that, oh, actually, maybe I'm not understanding something to be able to really check in.

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1947.108

But I think that quality of not being immediately impulsive reactive and being able to step outside of your perspective to see the perspective of another, that's real emotional maturity in business.

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198.078

Thank you so much. I'm so happy to be here.

Young and Profiting with Hala Taha (Entrepreneurship, Sales, Marketing)

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1981.584

I think especially if you're an entrepreneur, you have to be really careful because the ego just makes the mind so cloudy. And just because you've had a few wins doesn't mean everything else that you're going to have is going to be a win. And I think one of the ways to combat that is by honestly hiring really smart young people.

Young and Profiting with Hala Taha (Entrepreneurship, Sales, Marketing)

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2001.372

Because as you get older, being able to build a really successful business in your 20s or your 30s Are you still understanding that the world, like the way that you saw it back then, it's going to change radically when you're 50 and you're trying to build another company.

Young and Profiting with Hala Taha (Entrepreneurship, Sales, Marketing)

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2015.298

So I think tapping into people that you can trust feels really important, but I think the ego, it just makes things rougher and it can push you through hard moments, but it's not going to make the best product possible.

Young and Profiting with Hala Taha (Entrepreneurship, Sales, Marketing)

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2044.215

Yeah, it's funny. I was talking to one of my mentors the other day and he was going through all these different famous entrepreneurs and he was like, everybody is trauma-based. Everybody is attacking a problem because there's some lack of safety. You know, something happened when they were younger. And then as we were talking, I was listening and I was like, oh, wow.

Young and Profiting with Hala Taha (Entrepreneurship, Sales, Marketing)

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2065.985

And I realized to myself, I'm like, my greatest trauma was growing up in poverty. I'm glad that my mom and dad had a good relationship, but my relationship with them was often seeing them fight because they were arguing about how to pay the rent. And there was a moment when I was about 13, 14 years old, Thank you. Thank you.

Young and Profiting with Hala Taha (Entrepreneurship, Sales, Marketing)

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2150.629

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Young and Profiting with Hala Taha (Entrepreneurship, Sales, Marketing)

Yung Pueblo: How Self-Healing Unlocks Success in Business and Relationships | Mental Health | E341

221.704

Yeah, it took on a lot of meaning over time. I initially put that name together just because it was like an honor to my Ecuadorian roots because I was born in Ecuador, but grew up in the United States. And as I started meditating, I started realizing that I'm really immature. I have a lot of growing to do, but I've also been a big fan of history. I've been studying history since I could read.

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2251.744

Thank you.

Young and Profiting with Hala Taha (Entrepreneurship, Sales, Marketing)

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2321.957

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Young and Profiting with Hala Taha (Entrepreneurship, Sales, Marketing)

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2411.277

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Young and Profiting with Hala Taha (Entrepreneurship, Sales, Marketing)

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242.816

And I saw that humanity as a whole, Like we don't know the basic fundamentals that we try to teach children. When a child is like three or four years old, we're trying to teach them how to clean up after themselves, how to share, to not hit each other, to tell the truth, to be generally kind to each other.

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260.566

And these are things that individuals may have mastered, but as a human collective, we haven't mastered these things at all. So the name Young Pueblo to me, it's more so a reminder to me personally to just remember that humanity is in this moment of maturing in a great transition.

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2600.562

Thank you.

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2808.789

If that makes you happy, I don't want to do it. But if that makes you happy, I'm down, you know, because that feels sweeter to me. So being able to communicate with that, I would have never been able to read her mind, but she just made it clear.

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2819.773

And it can be simple as something like that or something like one of my favorite stories is from my wife's mom and dad, where when they were having an argument pretty soon after they got married, this was back when they were younger, they're in their seventies now. My wife's mom was saying how they were arguing about something, but his tone became really loud.

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2841.166

And to her, it felt like he was screaming. So she told him, she was like, I want to have so many arguments with you. I want to be married to you for decades. And I know that marriage comes with arguments. But please just talk to me. Don't raise your voice because then I feel threatened. I feel scared. And he was like, great.

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2861.587

But you know, in that moment, she said, this is how I want to be supported. Can you do this for me? And he was like, of course. For him, it didn't even feel like screaming. He just was a little louder, but that's how he grew up in his house. So you can't make those things clear without communicating about them.

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299.389

And I think that it's interesting to me that there are so many people, literally millions of people out there who are meditating, millions of people who are using different forms of therapy. And it almost feels like collectively we're just, you know, like misery has gone out of style.

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317.377

We're exhausted by misery and we're like, okay, I want to figure out how to feel better, whether that's in my mind or in my body.

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3231.451

I think there's a very practical thing that you can do. And you can do this whether you're in a relationship with someone or you just have roommates. My wife and I, we started noticing when we were meditating that our minds just did not want to take any accountability.

Young and Profiting with Hala Taha (Entrepreneurship, Sales, Marketing)

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3246.135

I think for the first part of our relationship, whenever one of us would feel tension, we would just try to put the blame on the other person. Even if it was illogical, even if it made no sense, it was like, how do I make this tension in my mind your fault? And... This happened over and over and over.

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3262.681

And then we realized we were like, wait, actually me feeling down in this moment has nothing to do with you. Sometimes it does. Sometimes we say something and we need to apologize, but we were noticing like 70% of the time, I'm like just looking for reasons to fight. And what we found to counteract that was when we wake up, let's just tell each other how we feel in a very passive way.

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3285.692

Just tell each other, I feel good right now, or I feel heavy, or I didn't get a lot of rest. I woke up really tired, or I feel a little angry. And just knowing these bits of information Because you're naming it, the person who's feeling it is naming it and your partner's hearing it. For you, that makes you aware of where your mind is at.

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3306.264

And then your mind doesn't jump into just creating more narratives to make it worse. And then your partner also knows, oh, let me give them their space. Let me treat them a little more gently. Is there anything I can do to make your day easier? But that gives the both of you the information you need to work with the situation.

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3323.955

And we do that one time in the morning and then one time in the early afternoon. And honestly, that's been so helpful because then I know if I hear stress in her voice, it's not really about me because she already told me that she was feeling stress and vice versa.

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3344.287

And it's not formal. It's not like, oh, let's sit down and check in. It's not like that. It's like, it's easy. It's just... You just say it without someone even asking you. And whenever she tells me, when there's a big shift in her mood, I'm like, amazing. Thank you for giving me the information I need to be successful.

Young and Profiting with Hala Taha (Entrepreneurship, Sales, Marketing)

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3365.489

You got to learn how to forgive. I think especially when you see someone, because this happens, right? You have a very difficult moment. You resolve it. The person genuinely apologizes and they start showing changed behavior where they changed the thing that was a problem before. But then your mind will keep... This is the problem with heavy emotions is that

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3390.089

when you're feeling anger, the mind wants to make it bigger. It wants to invite other people into the anger by either saying something mean to them or by telling them the reason that why you're angry so that they can be angry with you. But then other times, if there's no one around us, the mind will just go back and back and back in time to pull something out.

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3409.934

And it'll grab the last biggest argument, even though it's resolved, it just comes back. And I think You have to repeatedly learn how to let go, especially if the other person is like, I haven't done that in years. I'm not trying to live my life like that anymore, but it's quite challenging.

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3432.279

We've been together for, it's hard because it changes every year, but we've been together for, we'll be 10 years married this summer. And I think that means we've been together for 17 years.

Young and Profiting with Hala Taha (Entrepreneurship, Sales, Marketing)

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3448.472

No, no. Missed it.

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345.598

I was really fortunate, you know, so I grew up in Boston and I grew up really poor. When I think about what my major trauma was, it was literally just struggling through poverty with my family. My mom, she worked cleaning houses. My dad, he worked at a supermarket. So we were stuck in a very classic American poverty trap. And

Young and Profiting with Hala Taha (Entrepreneurship, Sales, Marketing)

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3469.915

It's challenging out there because I feel like a lot of people are playing coy. There's a few things happening that I see often where one is sometimes people are spoiled for choice. And this happens in a lot of major cities where it's just like you're dating like eight people, but you're not really giving any of them a really serious focus. And that makes it really challenging to see

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3490.097

You can like have a very superficial interaction with somebody and never realize how amazing they actually are. I think the other thing too that happens is that people look for incremental improvements in their partners. So you'll be dating someone for two, three months and then

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You end up dropping them because you're looking for someone who's 2% more attractive or 2% more peaceful, just because you don't necessarily want to deal with an argument that comes up. You just kind of toss the relationship away. And I hear this all the time from friends.

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But it's challenging because our society, the way all the apps are with, you know, either dating apps or just all apps in general, right? They're all set up to just make your life easier. Like we live in a DoorDash Uber society and we expect that from our personal growth and from our relationships for it to just be fixed and easy. It's just not going to be like that.

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So we need to be really careful about wanting things to be slightly better. And then we end up dumping something great for the chance of something better that is just like an illusion in our minds.

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I think one of the main things is it's not so much about the other person, but it's about how you feel when you're with them. I feel like it's really important to know, because I think when I look back to my wife and I, when we got together, if we both had checklists of what we wanted in a partner, neither of us would have checked anything off.

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We were just the opposite of what we were both looking for. But what we did both feel was this deep connection magnetic pull towards each other where it was easy to text each other. We wanted to be in contact. We wanted to find times to hang out and life wasn't really getting in the way. But I think having that mutual connectiveness with a person is very important.

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I think also clarity is really important. Just being honest. Like if you're really feeling someone, let them know because they might have no idea. You might have gone on a few dates and not know that you're actually really connected hoping to build something with them.

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But I think it's really tough out there and you have to really trust your intuition and your nervous system and then see more than just what's on the face and the body. Do they have emotional qualities? Like, do they have an emotional skillset? Like, How do they treat other people besides you when you're out together? Like how is their kindness there? Are they reactive?

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I was fortunate to get connected with this youth organizing group called BYOP, and that was based in Boston. And what we did was basically just learn how to organize ourselves, literally bring people together around a common cause. And then we would go to different schools and ask students, what do you want to change about your school? And they would either focus on changing different policies or

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How do they deal with a difficult moment? I think that's always a very telling time when you see someone handle a challenge that's unexpected. How do they do it? Are they calm through it or are they super chaotic?

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I think a lot of that is just simply being growth oriented. I think that's one thing that's really nice about the time period that we live in. The wellness world has developed so much but we have seen the value of putting energy into our personal growth but then we need to take a look at finding a partner who also values growing, but doesn't necessarily have to grow in the same way.

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And I think once you can understand, even though myself and this other person don't necessarily use the same tools, like maybe they meditate and maybe you use therapy, but if there's still that inclination to grow, then you're going to be able to overcome tough moments together.

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it's challenging that you need to simultaneously accept your imperfections and you need to accept yourself for who you are. And then also understand that, you know, I have a lot of growing to do. I can be an imperfect person, but I can simultaneously say, okay, I'm not going to expect perfection for myself.

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But it would be valuable for me to slow down instead of making decisions really fast, for me to not jump to conclusions and just understanding where your pain points are because often our pain points are self-created. We're causing our own tension, but where are you causing yourself tension and how can you relieve that?

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no matter what, if you find someone, you really are going to find them through proximity. So you do have to put yourself out there, whether that's online or whether that's in person, you're not going to build a connection without proximity. So put yourself out there and then just be the realist version of yourself.

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Don't worry about trying to build a facade or trying to create a version of yourself that's more likable. That's going to create superficial interactions. Instead, just be you, go out there. When you do find someone that you're connecting with, focus on them, tell them that you're interested and then see if there's enough there to build a relationship.

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Oh, that's a really good one. I think if you're an entrepreneur or you're working on building businesses, it's really important to know that you need really good partners. And when you're starting a business with someone, These days, I think it's less about working for an exact amount of time.

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It's less about, okay, I'm going to put in 40 hours or this is how many hours I can put in for this project. It's not so much like that anymore. It's more, what can you deliver to the project? So I do my Young Pueblo work, but I also have a venture capital company that I'm a partner in and I co-founded. But I don't so much say like, oh, I can work 10 hours a week or 20 hours a week or 30.

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One time we had a citywide campaign where we changed the guidance consular policy. Another citywide campaign where we helped all the young people in the city get free passes so that they can go to school. Because there were so many young people who were impoverished in the city of Boston that it costs money to take the transit system.

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It changes. Sometimes when we're fundraising, there's tons of work. When we're just assessing companies and making investments, it's slightly less work. And it's more so like, what can I deliver to the group? And if that feels valuable to them, then they accept your partnership without saying, oh, I'm going to work X amount of time.

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You just make sure that you over deliver and everyone's going to be happy. So like that, because I've noticed something about, you know, a lot of my friends and mentors in Silicon Valley where they're building like three companies at a time and they're doing a fantastic job, but it's not like they're working 120 hour weeks. They're just like, this is what they deliver to each situation.

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Yeah, no, you never want to trade time for money. That's the worst. You want to deliver and make sure you get your equity and then build it as big as you can.

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No matter what, I make my growth come first. And that really is meditating. So for last year, I started the year off from January to February meditating for 45 days. It was a totally silent meditation course. And even though my agents were upset and people who I'm working with, they wanted more of my time. It was actually much more beneficial for me to take that time, meditate.

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And then when I came out, everything was better. I was able to be productive at a whole nother level. And similarly, after this book launches, I'm going to go away to meditate for 20 days in April to May. And I'm thrilled for that. And I think when I look at a lot of people who are really, really highly productive, they take time to cultivate themselves.

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And that's really important if you're going to keep producing.

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I think if you're listening and you're interested, definitely go check it out. And I think if it sounds like too much or too long for you, there's other styles, you know, there's a lot of different meditation styles out there. So you kind of just have to find the thing that connects with your intuition and it's challenging, but not overwhelming. And I'd say for you, you're a very creative person.

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Imagine when your mind is even lighter, because I was not introduced to my creativity until I started meditating. And I see that all the time. I know people who meditate who are like McKinsey consultants or like people who are artists and they paint and... No matter what field you're in, you just start producing at a whole nother level. I had one friend who, she's a producer and creates TV shows.

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But it was really empowering to see if there's something that we want, we can organize around it and make it happen. And that was a great lesson to learn at 15, 16 years old.

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And after she finished her retreat, she was crushing it.

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You can follow me on Instagram at youngpueblo, Y-U-N-G underscore P-U-E-B-L-O. And my new book, How to Love Better, it's in bookstores. You can also find it online on Amazon. And I'm also on Stubstack. You can follow my newsletter if you want to read my longer articles. And yeah, thank you so much. This has been so much fun.

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Awesome.

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Yeah, I think that was the interesting part. When I was in high school, growing up, the group that I was with, BYOP, we were constantly winning. We would win campaign after campaign and I internally still did not feel good. And when I went to university, when I got there, it...

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really came to a head where growing up and being a part of that constant struggle, it was so challenging that I was oblivious to the fact that it was placing such big imprints on my mind. I was being so deeply imprinted with sadness, with anxiety, with a scarcity mindset, and I had no way of processing my emotions. This is a very pre-wellness world.

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When I got to university, it was 2006 to 2010, and what I ended up doing was I could feel the tension in my body, but what I would try to do was, how can I avoid it as fast as possible? And the best way was to drink and to smoke and to do different drugs and just try to numb myself so that I wouldn't have to be aware of my own pain.

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I was really fortunate that one of my best friends who I used to be crazy with, we were crazy together in college. He was traveling through India and did a silent 10 day meditation course. And he ended up writing an email to me and a few other friends all about love, compassion, and goodwill. And I was like shocked, you know, because this is the same person I used to party with all the time.

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And now he's trying to talk to me about the importance of love and goodwill. But it was at such a good moment because I knew that I was done with the drugs. I wanted to build a new life for myself. I wanted to just reset my life and really focus on growing. And when I got to that silent 10-day course, it was... Very challenging. I found it quite difficult. It was the summer of 2012.

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It was hard to like always be there because you're there, you're silent and you're feeling whatever's coming up. And I could feel the tension, the anxiety, all those things that I used to run away from. But I noticed that when the retreat was over, my mind felt lighter. undeniably lighter. And I was shocked by it. I was just like, is this real? Like, is this really, do I really feel better?

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I just kept going back and it's been wonderful. So I started with 10-day retreats and now I'll go away still to 10-day courses, but also 20, 30, 45 days long. And I've put a lot of energy into really investing in my mind.

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This is one of the many different types of Vipassana. This one is taught by S. N. Goenka. He's an Indian man of Burmese descent. And he basically was given this technique by another man, Oba Khin. And it basically originates from the Buddhist teaching. And what's really powerful about it is that Vipassana teaches you how to see reality as it is.

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And one thing that became really clear when I started meditating was that I'm not actually looking at reality clearly. What's happening is that all the things that I felt in the past, they're really clogging up my perception. They're making me see the present through the lens of the past. And that makes it really hard to make good decisions, be able to really connect with people.

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And I think that's one of the powerful things is that if you can train the mind, because when I go to these retreats, it feels like I'm going to the mental gym. We're literally cultivating the qualities of awareness, cultivating non-reaction, cultivating compassion. And then when you make these qualities that are within everyone's minds, but they're not necessarily strong.

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You have to make them stronger. Life changes dramatically after that.

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I would say even a little more subtle. You are feeling your emotions without reacting to them. It's almost like you're creating space to just observe them as opposed to suppressing it or letting the emotion swallow you up. So there's a very subtle middle ground. It teaches you that things aren't just black and white. There's a gray area.

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It's cool to talking with you about it because you have the context from the activist background. So there's always this idea of liberation, right? Constantly where so many groups of people have come together to either make certain values true or to break the chains of oppressors and whatnot and just recreate their history. I was always fascinated by that idea. And when I started meditating...

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there was this idea of internal liberation, literally the freedom from suffering, the freedom from misery and the misery that we cause ourselves. And a lot of that, that's what shocked me because it's true. When you're moving through life, sometimes there are people who hurt you and that affects you deeply, but ultimately the person who hurt you is not going to heal you. And

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What's really causing a lot of tension in your mind is your own perception and your own reaction to that heaviness that's inside you. So I'm grateful that I've been walking on this path because it really ultimately helps you stop all that craving, all that aversion, and just helps you observe and act as opposed to react.

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What I'm really hoping, and I think what I've seen in myself and in others is that if you really focus on the internal dynamic, because this happens often to a lot of people who are activists and are out there trying to change the world for the better, is that it quickly leads to burnout because you're not healing the tension and the rough parts of your own ego.

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And I like the historical example of the French Revolution where there were people who had really powerful ideals, wanted to create a republic, give people power. And then once they killed the king, a massacre happened.

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And it's interesting where there is always the chance that if you're working towards something that is good, but if you don't heal yourself, you end up recreating the thing that you were once fighting against. And power has this ability to, it almost functions like a magnet and it just pulls out the rough parts of the ego. And you see this historically.

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People are trying to change the world for the better and then they get power and it's like, whoa, what happened to that person?

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And I think that's why these two things need to move side by side where you're dealing with your issues, you're cultivating your self-love because if your self-love is real, if it's actually real, it's not just about you, it opens the door to unconditional love for all beings. It's not perfect unconditional love, but it opens that door. And I think that's really important for people to realize.

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Once you start really observing yourself and you see that struggle, you know, wow, other people are struggling just like me. And you start having more compassion for them.

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It's really true because then you can make anything you want happen. And then that could just bring out all the evils.

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It's a really interesting journey. And I've been following your page for a while and I love the way you market. So before I get into all this, because I want to hear your insights as well. My journey with Instagram, I felt intuitively, like after I had meditated a few courses, I knew that I wasn't perfectly wise or perfectly healed, nothing like that, right?

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But I knew that stuff was changing inside me and I felt better. So I thought, okay, let me... reflect because I could feel my intuition pushing me. You should write, even though you don't know everything, just reflect, reflect openly. And I was really inspired by the first generation Instagram poets because the first generation Instagram, they weren't long form writers, they were poets.

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And it was RM Drake and Rupi Kaur, and they were sharing their stuff and simple black and white images. So I thought to myself, I'm like, oh, let me just go out there and reflect. And I knew that I had a very different message from them because they each have their own unique message. But let me also adopt that format of that simple black and white imagery. And it was really powerful.

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I think once I started sharing, it was awesome, like sharing little poems or main themes from what I was writing about. and people would write in the captions. And that was back in a day where it almost felt like the Instagram conversation was healthier. People were just really kind to each other and it took time.