David Lucas
Appearances
KILL TONY
#706 - 2025 NYE
Yeah Thank you, thank you Y'all ever notice that snatching a black girl's wig off is equivalent to taking the mask off of the criminal on Scooby Doo? It's like, I knew it was you. She's like, I would've got away with it if it wasn't for you kids. I don't know what it is about snatching a black girl's wig off, but that shit changed her DNA, you know what I'm saying?
KILL TONY
#706 - 2025 NYE
Because when you snatch the wig off, the eyebrows come with it. My relationship with my girlfriend ain't been the same since I snatched that bitch wig off. I snatched her wig off and I called the cops on that hoe. I'm like, hey, it's a hood nigga in my bathroom. Somebody's uncle just went in my closet.
KILL TONY
#706 - 2025 NYE
But I think if you're in a relationship and you've been with a girl at least three months, you should have at least seen her natural face. Because the first time you see your girl without makeup, it's like, damn, baby, I didn't know you had six months to live. What the fuck? If I knew that shit was terminal, I would have never cheated on your ass. All right, that's my time.
KILL TONY
#706 - 2025 NYE
Tony. Uh-oh. You look like a gay nigga going through a divorce. Yes. That motherfucker got his sleeves rolled up like he about to split everything in half. Including the dildo. This is your half. What's up, Tony? I like that look.
KILL TONY
#706 - 2025 NYE
Goddamn, Tony, why you so red? Nigga, you got to stop letting your man abuse you. You up here looking like a ripe tomato, bitch, your ass. I'm going to throw it at the next bucket pool that don't do good. Why you so red?
KILL TONY
#706 - 2025 NYE
But you know what a cucumber is. You fucking gay motherfucker. That nigga totally know what a sandwich pickle is. Look at him. He want one right now. That nigga smoking that cigarette thinking about a dick.
KILL TONY
#706 - 2025 NYE
Joe, if you would have been riding in the front seat of JFK's car, he wouldn't be dead. You big-haired bitch. Water balloon-haired ass nigga. Get the fuck out of here. Look at that nigga head out here looking like Jimmy Neutron. Bitch, get your... It's true. It's true. That motherfucker look like an educated llama. Get your dumb ass. Look at that nigga head.
KILL TONY
#706 - 2025 NYE
Joe DeRosa look like he got a football helmet on, boy. Big head ass. If you headbutt a nigga, it'll be a first degree homicide charge. Big head bitch. Goddamn, now you gotta take an aspirin with a bow and arrow.
KILL TONY
#706 - 2025 NYE
Especially after that Trump shit, nigga. I know you got some motherfucking exotic niggas now, boy. Hell yeah. Tony out here with all type of Puerto Rican niggas at his house.
KILL TONY
#706 - 2025 NYE
Don't laugh at that shit, man. Fuck this nigga. Oh, yeah. Got him. Tony, I don't even know why you're a Republican, because you can't get abortions no more. What? You can't get no more abortions, nigga.
KILL TONY
#706 - 2025 NYE
I might be, shit. That is incredible. Every time I nut in a bitch, I get pregnant.
KILL TONY
#706 - 2025 NYE
Jordan Rosen, we gonna put your head on some Ozempic, bitch. Your head need to go on a slim fast diet, bitch. No, I'm sitting this out.
KILL TONY
#706 - 2025 NYE
That motherfucker James looked like William Montgomery waking up from a 20-year coma. You shut your mouth. You shut your bitch mouth, David Lucas.
KILL TONY
#706 - 2025 NYE
I want to wake that nigga up. Boy, it looks like somebody put your ass in the dryer, bitch. That motherfucker said, I got to be the Kill Tony in 30 minutes. Let me go in the dryer.
KILL TONY
#706 - 2025 NYE
Yeah, a kangaroo raised you, you Australian bitch. Did you drive a Subaru here, you fucking lesbian? Get your ass out of here, James McCann. You look like a disheveled lesbian. Get your motherfucker.
KILL TONY
#706 - 2025 NYE
Y'all ganging up on me now? Kind of like niggas gang up on Tony? Yeah, it's funny. Motherfucker. Joe DeRosa, go ahead. What's your hair got to say? I like to see you put on a baseball cap, nigga.
KILL TONY
#706 - 2025 NYE
But Joe DeRosa, you look like one of them rattlesnake preachers. You know what I'm saying? and your other snakes bite you, then you pray it off. All right, that wasn't that good. Yeah, don't try to get esoteric.
KILL TONY
#706 - 2025 NYE
I don't shop at Walmart, nigga. What the fuck is you talking about? Joe DeRosa look like he can only drive convertibles with that head, nigga. Or a fucking car with a swim roof. You just see his head poking out the top. If you see Joe DeRosa's head shadowed, that means we got 30 more days.
KILL TONY
#706 - 2025 NYE
H-E-B is a good grocery store. It's fantastic. Yeah, it's a good grocery store.
KILL TONY
#706 - 2025 NYE
You don't move around much? That's a surprise. If you get a headache, you're going to be in the hospital for three days.
KILL TONY
#706 - 2025 NYE
I got a lot of tour dates for 2025. Me and you got some exciting stuff coming up.
KILL TONY
#706 - 2025 NYE
So you will be seeing a lot of stuff from me and Tony in 2025. I can't wait for the world to see that. Yep. Yeah, just touring, doing shows. Thank you for everybody who has supported us.