David Hopping

Yeah.

It was a monitor lizard.

Wow.

Or else you can't help.

Smooth.

Well, because, OK, well, I was thinking after picture you're the person I call and I say Conan O'Brien's coming in with an unlocked flip phone. He needs a like month to month number not connected to his to his regular one. It sounds like he's like involved in something shady.

You called me from your office upstairs. You could have just yelled my name.

The exact location. Yeah.

He's having a lobster.

Aren't they like making smart flip phones?

They had to bring in a whole like other ladder.

We live together. I saw him on a Zoom today. He looked rough. Oh, he did?

You are the same guy. You know, I take that as a tremendous compliment. Yes. Because I got to tell you something. I love that guy. That guy. Oh, my God. I am so in love with that guy. Yeah. Really?

And they laugh. Except a couple of weeks ago, I got invited to a dinner party. And... You know, 10, 5, 10 years ago, I would have gone, okay, yeah, okay, sounds good. What's the address? And now, this time, I said, who's coming? Oh.

Did not go over well.

And I wound up not going.

So there you go. So I tried to be Larry and it didn't work. But by the way, as long as we're on the subject, is it such a terrible question to ask who's going to... Why is it such a secret? Why is that a secret? I don't understand. I don't understand the big secret. You can't say who's who's going.

Exactly. Because a lot of times, honestly, you'll be invited to these dinner parties and you find yourself sitting next to some insurance salesman. And, you know, you're there the whole two and a half hours sitting next to him or her or whatever.

It's not comfortable. Yeah.

I need like three comedians and I'm fine. Right. Right. Do I count as a comedian?

Oh, Conan, you poor, it's just sad. Don't do this to him. Come on. Yes, Conan. Thank you.

You know, comedians, comedy writers, you know, either one, whatever.

I'll tell you what. I don't like sitting with a plate on my lap, okay? And I saw there was a counter, there were stools in front of the counter, and I thought this would be a good spot to plant myself. And so I planted, and it turned out to be a great spot because when people come over, this is what I do at parties, by the way, I always sit. You can't be in the middle of a room making small talk

And then you're going, your brain is racing. Oh my God. Oh my God, I'm out. I can't. I got nothing. I got nothing. What? The bathroom? Do I have to go to the bathroom? Do I have to get a drink? Or I know, I'll do TV Larry. I'll do TV Larry. All right. Well, it's been nice talking to you. Yeah. And then you move on. Right. I think people know now that you can't have interminable conversations.

They can't go on forever. There's got to be an out. There's got to be an out. You know what?

But I think I have an idea for parties. I have an idea for parties. You have a party sheriff, okay?

He's in a chair above the party. He's overseeing the party. Like a lifeguard. Like a lifeguard. Or he's in another room on video. And he's got cameras on everybody. Like a pit boss. Yeah, like a pit boss. And he's seeing the conversations. He's looking at him. He's seeing how it's going. He's looking at the body language. He's timing conversations. And then he sees that somebody's in trouble.

And he goes, okay, all right, I got to go. He goes down. He takes the version by the arm. He goes, excuse me, this is over. This is brilliant. This is brilliant.

I mean, this is a great idea.

Everybody's aware there's a sheriff. There's somebody overseeing the party. By the way, I think I'd be a good one. You'd be great. I'd like to volunteer. I could do that job. We need a podcast sheriff. You could do that. I definitely could do that job. A party sheriff, for sure.