Dakota
Appearances
The Viall Files
E885 Ask Nick - The Best Bangsgiving Ever
No, I know. And this is this is helpful because this is what I was leaning towards. And the controversy among my friends was, should I move the goalposts? Because I set an initial date.
The Viall Files
E885 Ask Nick - The Best Bangsgiving Ever
The key is just going to be sticking to it.
The Viall Files
E885 Ask Nick - The Best Bangsgiving Ever
Oh yeah. I don't. Yeah. I mean, I don't, maybe not, probably not, but it's, I mean, it's always a possibility.
The Viall Files
E885 Ask Nick - The Best Bangsgiving Ever
No more stuffing. It was the best Thanksgiving ever.
The Viall Files
E885 Ask Nick - The Best Bangsgiving Ever
And that's going to be, I don't, that's going to be tough.
The Viall Files
E885 Ask Nick - The Best Bangsgiving Ever
No shot. He is ready. No shot. I literally, Nick, I have taught him how to cook. He did not know how to do anything.
The Viall Files
E885 Ask Nick - The Best Bangsgiving Ever
Oh yeah. And I mean, the whole reason that he like makes it says that he doesn't want to label is because of the optics. He's like, people are going to think I moved on too fast.
The Viall Files
E885 Ask Nick - The Best Bangsgiving Ever
Good. My name is Dakota. I'm 27 years old. And I got more than just my turkey stuffed on Thanksgiving. Did I mess up the friend group?
The Viall Files
E885 Ask Nick - The Best Bangsgiving Ever
I hooked up with my roommate slash best friend's friend who just got out of an eight-year relationship with her other friend.
The Viall Files
E885 Ask Nick - The Best Bangsgiving Ever
They are now. We were kind of becoming a friend group.
The Viall Files
E885 Ask Nick - The Best Bangsgiving Ever
One of the biggest potential problems already happened, actually. So my best friend, Jessica, she felt like she needed to tell his ex, Emily, just because they're friends. And I guess she's devastated.
The Viall Files
E885 Ask Nick - The Best Bangsgiving Ever
And they were broken up. They were broken up for like four months before we hooked up.
The Viall Files
E885 Ask Nick - The Best Bangsgiving Ever
Because she I guess they had been talking about the breakup all the time. Emily had been calling her like almost daily just to talk about the breakup for like hours on end because she was spiraling over the whole thing.
The Viall Files
E885 Ask Nick - The Best Bangsgiving Ever
Right. She just thought that she figured that she was going to hear from someone else. And if Jessica wasn't the one who told her, she knew that she would just not be happy about that.
The Viall Files
E885 Ask Nick - The Best Bangsgiving Ever
Yeah. So that happened. And then the guy, we can call him Brad, he ended up feeling the need to go and talk to Emily, his ex, about it in person for like hours.
The Viall Files
E885 Ask Nick - The Best Bangsgiving Ever
Lost her shit, yeah. It turned into a whole ordeal.
The Viall Files
E885 Ask Nick - The Best Bangsgiving Ever
How old are you again? I'm 27, they're 29. Okay. But what I didn't know at the time was happening- It's giving college. Was that Brad was still telling Emily that there was a chance they were getting back together. I did not know that.
The Viall Files
E885 Ask Nick - The Best Bangsgiving Ever
Everyone, including him. Now I found that out. But at the time, that was not made clear to me.
The Viall Files
E885 Ask Nick - The Best Bangsgiving Ever
He honestly hadn't been. They hadn't spoken in a couple months, I would say. They had both mutually agreed to block each other. So they hadn't talked in a while.
The Viall Files
E885 Ask Nick - The Best Bangsgiving Ever
That doesn't also mean... That he said that to her, it had been probably at least a couple weeks, if not a month, before we hooked up.
The Viall Files
E885 Ask Nick - The Best Bangsgiving Ever
No, I completely agree with you. And hence, I hooked up with him on Thanksgiving and the next night.
The Viall Files
E885 Ask Nick - The Best Bangsgiving Ever
But no, at the time, I didn't know the whole ordeal. And I also didn't anticipate all the drama that would follow. Since then, it's continued. I think my initial question for you was, should we continue doing this? And
The Viall Files
E885 Ask Nick - The Best Bangsgiving Ever
So that's the current question. So it's one of those classic situationships, right? He just got out of an eight-year relationship. He's not like... Oh, they dated for eight years? Yeah.
The Viall Files
E885 Ask Nick - The Best Bangsgiving Ever
Yeah. And I've been single for about three years. So I am looking for, you know, something real.
The Viall Files
E885 Ask Nick - The Best Bangsgiving Ever
He, yeah, so he is, you know, we kind of started it out expecting it to be like a light, fun hookup after a night out type of situation. But it's turned into spending a lot of nights together, a lot of like full weekends together, going on dates, doing the whole, like I'm playing house, essentially. Okay. And that wasn't really my doing. I didn't push for it.
The Viall Files
E885 Ask Nick - The Best Bangsgiving Ever
He was naturally the one to be like, come over. Let's do this. Let's go out on this date. Let's spend another night together.
The Viall Files
E885 Ask Nick - The Best Bangsgiving Ever
So I was not upset. I was not upset with his initiatives. But at this point, it kind of feels more serious to me. He is a relationship guy. So he's not the type to just do a hookup situation in his life. So I've heard from my best friend.
The Viall Files
E885 Ask Nick - The Best Bangsgiving Ever
Anyway, so we've turned into this kind of situationship of sorts. But the kicker is I actually just said to him, if you don't know by mid-February if you want to put a label on this or not, then we should just go back to being friends. So I kind of gave, not necessarily an ultimatum, but like... How'd you say it? I said it in this in the sense of we don't even know what this is right now.
The Viall Files
E885 Ask Nick - The Best Bangsgiving Ever
You know, it was kind of when after all the drama went down, I was like, we don't know what this is. We don't really know each other that well. We'd been good friends for a couple of months, but hadn't explored a lot romantically. And I said, I know that you're
The Viall Files
E885 Ask Nick - The Best Bangsgiving Ever
still going through it still you know trying to get your footing as an independent person moving into a new apartment and you know having a whole new life of sorts after an eight-year relationship so let's just take some time get to know each other and by mid-february if we you know can't figure out what this is then we should just go back to being friends okay what do you say he thought that was great and your plan as to what keep playing house for now
The Viall Files
E885 Ask Nick - The Best Bangsgiving Ever
The issue is, obviously, like I said, this moved a lot faster than I anticipated when I set these ground rules of, you know, let's wait a few months and see. And since then, he has brought it up, like the whole label thing, a couple times. Because I was planning on dropping that, saying this is our plan, and leaving it. But he has brought it up a couple times and saying...
The Viall Files
E885 Ask Nick - The Best Bangsgiving Ever
Things like, oh, I'm still not ready yet, but we're heading in the right direction.
The Viall Files
E885 Ask Nick - The Best Bangsgiving Ever
So here's the kicker on that one. We're going on vacation together in two weeks.
The Viall Files
E885 Ask Nick - The Best Bangsgiving Ever
The Bahamas. With friends. It's not just us. But we're sharing a room the whole nine yards.