Clayton Law
Appearances
Criminal
Turtle vs. Toilet, a Monster in the Closet, and a Surprise Possum
Cecil was just standing there over the pile of money, just shredded, consumed. It was just all over the floor.
Criminal
Turtle vs. Toilet, a Monster in the Closet, and a Surprise Possum
$4,000 total. He had never done anything like this in the past ever. And so it was hard for me to process what I was looking at because we used to, you know, leave dinner out. We used to eat at the coffee table and watch some TV.
Criminal
Turtle vs. Toilet, a Monster in the Closet, and a Surprise Possum
And you could leave, you know, a steak dinner or a cheeseburger or whatever on that table, go to the kitchen, open a bottle of wine, talk for a little bit, come back, and he would still just be sitting on the couch, you know, not, you know, touching it at all. So I was very just shocked that he did this.
Criminal
Turtle vs. Toilet, a Monster in the Closet, and a Surprise Possum
You start to assess the damage and you're like, all right, how much is actually gone or is there any more damage? They called the vet, who said to keep an eye on things, but that at 100 pounds, they weren't too worried about Cecil. Did you then ask the next question?
Criminal
Turtle vs. Toilet, a Monster in the Closet, and a Surprise Possum
Immediately, you know, Carrie is probably one of the most like just resourceful researcher. Like, can you exchange this? What's the process? So she's Googling it as I'm just trying to, you know, figure out what our next steps are. But later that night, it was like 2 a.m. And you have a dog, so you understand. But it's the
Criminal
Turtle vs. Toilet, a Monster in the Closet, and a Surprise Possum
proverbial like sound of a dog that's about to throw up you have like a 15 second window before you know it all comes out and so I hear that and I snap snap awake jump out of bed I'm like no no no not on the carpet and just got him on the tile and he threw up and you know it's 2 a.m.
Criminal
Turtle vs. Toilet, a Monster in the Closet, and a Surprise Possum
so I'm just like I'm just gonna clean this up and I grab a plastic grocery bag and some paper towel and I realized wow there is like
Criminal
Turtle vs. Toilet, a Monster in the Closet, and a Surprise Possum
chunks of bills in here like a lot and you know i thought about turning the light on and going through it but i was like you know what i'll deal with this tomorrow so i just put it in the bag tied it shut and then i put it kind of low but then i was like wait i don't want him to get back into it so i put it really high up on the cabinet so there was no possible way um and then you know the next morning sure enough there were like hundreds um in there all chewed up and stuff
Criminal
Turtle vs. Toilet, a Monster in the Closet, and a Surprise Possum
It was, and you kind of, you've seen Dawn soap where, you know, hey, it can clean everything. you know, oil spills off of penguins and ducks. So we're like, all right, well, if it can do that, I'm sure it can take excrement off of dollar bills. And so it was just the process of following him around in the backyard.
Criminal
Turtle vs. Toilet, a Monster in the Closet, and a Surprise Possum
And there was the, the, the challenging part was that, um, there were a bunch of leaves on the ground too, and he likes to poop and then walk and then poop and walk. So I'm trying to keep in my mind, like where these are so I can go find them. And it was, Yeah, lo and behold, just tons of bills in there and enough so that it was worth going through. Yeah.
Criminal
Turtle vs. Toilet, a Monster in the Closet, and a Surprise Possum
I just asked him, why? Why did you do that?
Criminal
Turtle vs. Toilet, a Monster in the Closet, and a Surprise Possum
And so I set it down on the counter and, you know, went to go do something, talk to Carrie, and then came back. And I just kind of had a WTF moment. It was hard for me to process what I was looking at.