Chappell Roan

That's so true. And all the hot guys at my school. I don't know. I don't really know any hot guys at my school. I don't think I grew up with hot guys. There was no one that I was really attracted to.

That's so true. And all the hot guys at my school. I don't know. I don't really know any hot guys at my school. I don't think I grew up with hot guys. There was no one that I was really attracted to.

I look scary, but like I love looking like kind of crazy and scary. But I love that. I mean, the Lollapalooza one was so fucking awesome because I got to wear tennis shoes.

I look scary, but like I love looking like kind of crazy and scary. But I love that. I mean, the Lollapalooza one was so fucking awesome because I got to wear tennis shoes.

That is what's awesome about being a songwriter. My breakup, when I wrote like my kink is karma vibes, was the worst thing that's ever happened. Like genuinely, I don't think it could have been worse but I got to like fuel an entire video and a song and a look a character just based off of horrible week of my life.

That is what's awesome about being a songwriter. My breakup, when I wrote like my kink is karma vibes, was the worst thing that's ever happened. Like genuinely, I don't think it could have been worse but I got to like fuel an entire video and a song and a look a character just based off of horrible week of my life.

When I do the festivals and I look in the camera and I say, I dedicate this, whatever, la la la, I am actually thinking about them or whoever I'm dedicating, but I do think about it. And I'm like, at Lollapalooza, I was like, fuck you so hard for talking about you dating me. Like, how could you talk about Why are you bragging that you dated me? You broke up with me. That's the craziest part.

When I do the festivals and I look in the camera and I say, I dedicate this, whatever, la la la, I am actually thinking about them or whoever I'm dedicating, but I do think about it. And I'm like, at Lollapalooza, I was like, fuck you so hard for talking about you dating me. Like, how could you talk about Why are you bragging that you dated me? You broke up with me. That's the craziest part.

gov ball when you literally like were all green okay i don't think people know this i had to spread my cheeks you're lying to me no i just spread my cheeks and get sprayed with green and like it didn't come off the way i got that off was i took three baths not soap dish soap

gov ball when you literally like were all green okay i don't think people know this i had to spread my cheeks you're lying to me no i just spread my cheeks and get sprayed with green and like it didn't come off the way i got that off was i took three baths not soap dish soap

When I'm at work, Chapel. But, like, none of my friends, like, call me Chapel. Okay.

When I'm at work, Chapel. But, like, none of my friends, like, call me Chapel. Okay.

Hannah Montana.

Hannah Montana.

I remember when the first episode came out.

I remember when the first episode came out.

Nick or Joe?

Nick or Joe?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

No. I always hated the Jonas Brothers. But here's the thing. Joe's so fucking nice to me now. I've grown up to love them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When I was young, I was like you. I was like, I don't care about the boys. I just want Hannah. Hannah. And when they came out, I was like, oh, fucking God. Shut up. I was nine.

No. I always hated the Jonas Brothers. But here's the thing. Joe's so fucking nice to me now. I've grown up to love them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When I was young, I was like you. I was like, I don't care about the boys. I just want Hannah. Hannah. And when they came out, I was like, oh, fucking God. Shut up. I was nine.

And I literally said, when they came out, I was like, oh, my fucking God, I don't care. I believed in God at that time.

And I literally said, when they came out, I was like, oh, my fucking God, I don't care. I believed in God at that time.

And all of this to say, I love the Joes. When I was nine, I think it was just the lesbian in me that just had no interest in... seeing them as an idol as a child, but now I'm like work.

And all of this to say, I love the Joes. When I was nine, I think it was just the lesbian in me that just had no interest in... seeing them as an idol as a child, but now I'm like work.

This is the part when I break free. Cause I don't want a day in my life. Go-to song when you need a good cry. All along it was a fever. Cold sweat, hot-headed believer. Stay by Rihanna, which I auditioned to with the... Yeah, I auditioned with it for The Voice. I didn't make it on the show, obviously. Thank God.

This is the part when I break free. Cause I don't want a day in my life. Go-to song when you need a good cry. All along it was a fever. Cold sweat, hot-headed believer. Stay by Rihanna, which I auditioned to with the... Yeah, I auditioned with it for The Voice. I didn't make it on the show, obviously. Thank God.

I literally poured a dish soap in and scrubbed, rubbed my whole body with coconut oil, jumped in, scrubbed with a literal like kitchen sponge and every, all of it came off except there was a green tint to my skin so I literally looked moldy for four days.

I literally poured a dish soap in and scrubbed, rubbed my whole body with coconut oil, jumped in, scrubbed with a literal like kitchen sponge and every, all of it came off except there was a green tint to my skin so I literally looked moldy for four days.

My favorite song of all time. When you see me in the club, you better think about, or you better think about us.

My favorite song of all time. When you see me in the club, you better think about, or you better think about us.

I'm going to scream and shout with Britney Spears.

I'm going to scream and shout with Britney Spears.

hate karaoke moving on i because i don't want to try yeah i don't i don't like feeling like i have to try to sing well if i'm not doing it for work because then it feels like a like look at me i love karaoke is for people who never get to sing yes to sing and then we sing your songs and i'm like like i hate singing it but i did i don't know one time i pretended i put in like

hate karaoke moving on i because i don't want to try yeah i don't i don't like feeling like i have to try to sing well if i'm not doing it for work because then it feels like a like look at me i love karaoke is for people who never get to sing yes to sing and then we sing your songs and i'm like like i hate singing it but i did i don't know one time i pretended i put in like

I was at a seafood boil in the middle of Apalachicola, Florida. We were an off day on tour and we went to this seafood place and there was just a dad playing guitar. And it was like, does anybody out there want to sing a song? Does anybody want to sing a duet with me? And my whole touring crew was like, go, go, go. And I was like, please stop, please stop. And then I was like, fine, I will.

I was at a seafood boil in the middle of Apalachicola, Florida. We were an off day on tour and we went to this seafood place and there was just a dad playing guitar. And it was like, does anybody out there want to sing a song? Does anybody want to sing a duet with me? And my whole touring crew was like, go, go, go. And I was like, please stop, please stop. And then I was like, fine, I will.

And he was like, come on up. What's your name? And I think I was like, Madeline, and he's like, Madeline, what do you want to sing? Here are my lists. And I look down and I see Shallow. And I was like, Shallow? And he was like, really? You want to do Shallow? And I was like, mm-hmm. And like, I did it and I went, I'm on the deep end, like up there. It was all old people and families.

And he was like, come on up. What's your name? And I think I was like, Madeline, and he's like, Madeline, what do you want to sing? Here are my lists. And I look down and I see Shallow. And I was like, Shallow? And he was like, really? You want to do Shallow? And I was like, mm-hmm. And like, I did it and I went, I'm on the deep end, like up there. It was all old people and families.

It was literally, like, old people and then, like, moms with four kids who were, like, tired. And, like, people just, like, turned around. Because I was ripping it. And afterwards, like, I just sat down. Literally, old people just started standing up. And they were like, you have to try out for American Idol. You have to try out. And I was like, oh, my God, stop. I'm not that good. No.

It was literally, like, old people and then, like, moms with four kids who were, like, tired. And, like, people just, like, turned around. Because I was ripping it. And afterwards, like, I just sat down. Literally, old people just started standing up. And they were like, you have to try out for American Idol. You have to try out. And I was like, oh, my God, stop. I'm not that good. No.

And then I went to Orlando and opened for Olivia Rodrigo the next day.

And then I went to Orlando and opened for Olivia Rodrigo the next day.

I think people are scared of me. Really? I think I made a big enough deal about not talking to me that people do not talk to me. That's I think the truth of it all. And I've been with people like friends who are like artists and they're like, when they're with me, they're like, it's a force field around us. People don't come up to me if I'm with you. And I think I'm just like,

I think people are scared of me. Really? I think I made a big enough deal about not talking to me that people do not talk to me. That's I think the truth of it all. And I've been with people like friends who are like artists and they're like, when they're with me, they're like, it's a force field around us. People don't come up to me if I'm with you. And I think I'm just like,

Damn, baby, you say it too. You say, don't touch me. Don't touch me. Don't look at me. Don't talk to me. I don't know who you are. And they won't come out to bother you. What a concept.

Damn, baby, you say it too. You say, don't touch me. Don't touch me. Don't look at me. Don't talk to me. I don't know who you are. And they won't come out to bother you. What a concept.

And I'm not just by one person, by like three. Three or four. Do you love it that you said it? It hurts that I have to... It hurts. I know it really hurts people because they take it really... They feel like it's me disrespecting them, that I owe it to them, and that how dare I call it abuse. Or complaining about success. I get that a lot. But I'm not complaining about success.

And I'm not just by one person, by like three. Three or four. Do you love it that you said it? It hurts that I have to... It hurts. I know it really hurts people because they take it really... They feel like it's me disrespecting them, that I owe it to them, and that how dare I call it abuse. Or complaining about success. I get that a lot. But I'm not complaining about success.

I'm just complaining about creepy behavior. Yeah. I love admiration. Everyone loves admiration. I just don't want you to interrupt me when I'm having a fight with my girlfriend. Don't fucking be like, can I get a photo? When I'm crying, talking to my girlfriend, that's fucking crazy.

I'm just complaining about creepy behavior. Yeah. I love admiration. Everyone loves admiration. I just don't want you to interrupt me when I'm having a fight with my girlfriend. Don't fucking be like, can I get a photo? When I'm crying, talking to my girlfriend, that's fucking crazy.

I was like scrubbing my like bikini lines and like my pubes are pulling out from at all. I don't have, I'm not even like lasered or anything.

I was like scrubbing my like bikini lines and like my pubes are pulling out from at all. I don't have, I'm not even like lasered or anything.

You know, it's like I can't. Of course, of course, it's going to take a second to.

You know, it's like I can't. Of course, of course, it's going to take a second to.

for people to like really look at themselves and like i have to have grace for that like i didn't how would i know any better if i already see hannah montana i would have to tell her that i i love her music so much and that like she means a lot to me but in reality it's like no i don't because that's not hannah right there that's not hannah that's destiny oh cyrus cyrus

for people to like really look at themselves and like i have to have grace for that like i didn't how would i know any better if i already see hannah montana i would have to tell her that i i love her music so much and that like she means a lot to me but in reality it's like no i don't because that's not hannah right there that's not hannah that's destiny oh cyrus cyrus

Have you had your phone stolen there?

Have you had your phone stolen there?

I've never gone to the Abbey because apparently, well... Because you get your phone stolen. Wait, what? It's crazy. I have had three friends whose phone got stolen.

I've never gone to the Abbey because apparently, well... Because you get your phone stolen. Wait, what? It's crazy. I have had three friends whose phone got stolen.

Okay, well, obviously when I went, the night was fucking awesome because I was like... It's like, it was amazing. And I just couldn't stop dancing. And I was obsessed with the go-go dancers. And the music was so loud and everyone was so hot and making out. And I had never seen anything like it. And I wanted to be like a go-go dancer, exotic dancer after that. And so I was like looking into it.

Okay, well, obviously when I went, the night was fucking awesome because I was like... It's like, it was amazing. And I just couldn't stop dancing. And I was obsessed with the go-go dancers. And the music was so loud and everyone was so hot and making out. And I had never seen anything like it. And I wanted to be like a go-go dancer, exotic dancer after that. And so I was like looking into it.

And I just was like, I felt like, like really embarrassed if someone from like a record label were to see me dancing, I would just feel really embarrassed because I don't know, like I just felt really self-conscious. And so instead I wrote a song about me being the dancer. So that's what Pink Pony is about. It's like me being the dancer at the Abbey and like, I'm scared to go to the Abbey.

And I just was like, I felt like, like really embarrassed if someone from like a record label were to see me dancing, I would just feel really embarrassed because I don't know, like I just felt really self-conscious. And so instead I wrote a song about me being the dancer. So that's what Pink Pony is about. It's like me being the dancer at the Abbey and like, I'm scared to go to the Abbey.

I just can't, yeah.

I just can't, yeah.

I get really uncomfortable, but I am the bitch that makes all the dance floors. I just like, I'm like a hypocrite when it comes to PDA. I'm like, what the fuck? And then I will like be drunk making out. I've done it with so many different people. It's fun though. It's so fun. If I'm fucked up, like I don't care. But I don't really drink anymore. So when I see people making out, I just laugh.

I get really uncomfortable, but I am the bitch that makes all the dance floors. I just like, I'm like a hypocrite when it comes to PDA. I'm like, what the fuck? And then I will like be drunk making out. I've done it with so many different people. It's fun though. It's so fun. If I'm fucked up, like I don't care. But I don't really drink anymore. So when I see people making out, I just laugh.

I can't stop laughing.

I can't stop laughing.

In WeHo, it's like at brunch. It's not even a dance floor.

In WeHo, it's like at brunch. It's not even a dance floor.

Probably the night.

Probably the night.

Sometimes I love having an outfit, but usually not with glam like this. Like I'm not wearing a lash or, you know, anything like that or nails really. But I'm not in a lot of color. That's the thing. Like I'm in a lot of blacks and a lot of like taupes and whites and creams, like nothing. Yeah.

Sometimes I love having an outfit, but usually not with glam like this. Like I'm not wearing a lash or, you know, anything like that or nails really. But I'm not in a lot of color. That's the thing. Like I'm in a lot of blacks and a lot of like taupes and whites and creams, like nothing. Yeah.

One night. One night I thought my bus driver of the tour bus driver was going to leave without us. I was going to just drive away. And I called my tour manager, and I was like, hey, something's going on. The bus driver's being kind of weird. And I think he's really mad. He's just stomping around. And I thought he was leaving. It looked like he was driving away, but then he backed up.

One night. One night I thought my bus driver of the tour bus driver was going to leave without us. I was going to just drive away. And I called my tour manager, and I was like, hey, something's going on. The bus driver's being kind of weird. And I think he's really mad. He's just stomping around. And I thought he was leaving. It looked like he was driving away, but then he backed up.

I think he's really pissed off at us, and I think we should get on the bus. She thought I was kidding. And so she was like, oh, yeah, he's going crazy. I heard he I heard he hit someone. And then that, you know, we don't worry about it. Like the cops are on the way. And I was like. Holy fuck. And then I got up, I got on the bus, bus driver was nowhere to be found.

I think he's really pissed off at us, and I think we should get on the bus. She thought I was kidding. And so she was like, oh, yeah, he's going crazy. I heard he I heard he hit someone. And then that, you know, we don't worry about it. Like the cops are on the way. And I was like. Holy fuck. And then I got up, I got on the bus, bus driver was nowhere to be found.

And I was like, everybody on the bus, get your cat, get your passports and let's get off. Come on. It's literally like the sound team. Like I'm about to start crying. Everyone's drunk. Like, it's so bad. It's like after a show. It's the night before we go to Coachella. And I'm like, the cops are coming. Everyone get it. Get out. Get out. The cops are coming. Get your passports.

And I was like, everybody on the bus, get your cat, get your passports and let's get off. Come on. It's literally like the sound team. Like I'm about to start crying. Everyone's drunk. Like, it's so bad. It's like after a show. It's the night before we go to Coachella. And I'm like, the cops are coming. Everyone get it. Get out. Get out. The cops are coming. Get your passports.

Get something that's important to you and get off the bus. I didn't know my tour manager was kidding. And so then I like, I was so fucked up and I was just crying. I was like, something's really wrong.

Get something that's important to you and get off the bus. I didn't know my tour manager was kidding. And so then I like, I was so fucked up and I was just crying. I was like, something's really wrong.

And my tour manager was like, I was kidding. And I was like, then what's going on? Like, then what's even going on? But the bus driver's being weird. What do we do? And she's like, I literally don't... Like, no one knew what to do. And I was like, I'm just confused. We have to make it to Coachella. We have to...

And my tour manager was like, I was kidding. And I was like, then what's going on? Like, then what's even going on? But the bus driver's being weird. What do we do? And she's like, I literally don't... Like, no one knew what to do. And I was like, I'm just confused. We have to make it to Coachella. We have to...

this poor man like walks out of peeing and he's like why is everyone acting weird that is what fucking happened he's holding your cats and your passports and you're like he's gonna attack that's literally what happened he's like i'm not gonna attack anything nothing's wrong guys and i was just so drunk i was like he's on a rampage everyone get off the bus

this poor man like walks out of peeing and he's like why is everyone acting weird that is what fucking happened he's holding your cats and your passports and you're like he's gonna attack that's literally what happened he's like i'm not gonna attack anything nothing's wrong guys and i was just so drunk i was like he's on a rampage everyone get off the bus

really sorry sir we love you drive dude alcohol can do some weird fucking shit i don't drink anymore i shouldn't i the only time i drink actually the only time i drink is my birthday night i had my birthday we how did you celebrate i went to jumbo's clown room how was that no oh tell me everything it's a strip club but it's not like a it's very gay it's like a lot of lesbian vibes

really sorry sir we love you drive dude alcohol can do some weird fucking shit i don't drink anymore i shouldn't i the only time i drink actually the only time i drink is my birthday night i had my birthday we how did you celebrate i went to jumbo's clown room how was that no oh tell me everything it's a strip club but it's not like a it's very gay it's like a lot of lesbian vibes

They gave me a lap dance and it was fun. Usually those things really make me uncomfortable, but I was drunk so I didn't care. And yeah, I rented the whole place out. It was a dream birthday. It was a dream come true. And those girls fucking know how to work a pole. The pole does not spin. Like, it's not... They do it. Like, it's real.

They gave me a lap dance and it was fun. Usually those things really make me uncomfortable, but I was drunk so I didn't care. And yeah, I rented the whole place out. It was a dream birthday. It was a dream come true. And those girls fucking know how to work a pole. The pole does not spin. Like, it's not... They do it. Like, it's real.

They're iconic athletes.

They're iconic athletes.

Obviously, I've come into being more Comfortable with saying I'm queer, with dating women. But I don't know, something like fucked up my sexuality. I think like my nervous system is so fried that I can't even feel like flirtatious. Like it's just too intense to even like be sexual at all. I'm just too sensitive.

Obviously, I've come into being more Comfortable with saying I'm queer, with dating women. But I don't know, something like fucked up my sexuality. I think like my nervous system is so fried that I can't even feel like flirtatious. Like it's just too intense to even like be sexual at all. I'm just too sensitive.

Yeah, sometimes. But I'm in like, I wear a lot of skirts. I'm very modest when it comes to my day to day. And I think it's just because one, I feel like I'm in LA and I can dress like more masculine and not get like dirty looks. But I feel like in other parts of the country, it's like I just dress more feminine, so I don't want to deal with it.

Yeah, sometimes. But I'm in like, I wear a lot of skirts. I'm very modest when it comes to my day to day. And I think it's just because one, I feel like I'm in LA and I can dress like more masculine and not get like dirty looks. But I feel like in other parts of the country, it's like I just dress more feminine, so I don't want to deal with it.

No, I do. I want to be because I think that was a part of myself that was fun. I feel like that part of me exists on stage but off stage it's like it's this kind of I kind of reverted back to a very shameful part of myself and how I relate to sex. Just because it's like, when there's so much of you in the world that is exposed,

No, I do. I want to be because I think that was a part of myself that was fun. I feel like that part of me exists on stage but off stage it's like it's this kind of I kind of reverted back to a very shameful part of myself and how I relate to sex. Just because it's like, when there's so much of you in the world that is exposed,

then like being sexual with someone is so vulnerable because the rest of your life is so vulnerable that it's like, it almost is too, I want to save something. Like, I just don't want to be that vulnerable with so many fucking people.

then like being sexual with someone is so vulnerable because the rest of your life is so vulnerable that it's like, it almost is too, I want to save something. Like, I just don't want to be that vulnerable with so many fucking people.

Because I can no longer... Yes, sexuality has like... It's just different now. And like... But... Thank you. Thank you.

Because I can no longer... Yes, sexuality has like... It's just different now. And like... But... Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

blend in for you all i don't want to but i don't have the time of day yeah fuck off i used to dress fucking crazy though before like all of this happened and i had energy and like light in my eyes i would literally just wear my thong out mini skirt bottom ass cheeks out nipples see-through in this fucking trash i i dress like really, really bimbo-y.

blend in for you all i don't want to but i don't have the time of day yeah fuck off i used to dress fucking crazy though before like all of this happened and i had energy and like light in my eyes i would literally just wear my thong out mini skirt bottom ass cheeks out nipples see-through in this fucking trash i i dress like really, really bimbo-y.

Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

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And like I had, I wore like silicone, like breast, like boob inserts to make my boobs come up to my fucking, like up to my clavicle or whatever. And so I just like lost my shine. Why? Cause it became my job. And then I was like, I'm fucking tired. And glam takes, I mean, at that time I wasn't like,

And like I had, I wore like silicone, like breast, like boob inserts to make my boobs come up to my fucking, like up to my clavicle or whatever. And so I just like lost my shine. Why? Cause it became my job. And then I was like, I'm fucking tired. And glam takes, I mean, at that time I wasn't like,

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I was just in my room high as fuck doing my makeup on TikTok live for three hours every night and then I would go out in like this like insane drag makeup and like all these thrifted like 70s disco always in fucking heels just a maximalist and that was so amazing and then it just got to be like there was no separation. Like I would be out as Kaylee in that. And then I would be on stage as that.

I was just in my room high as fuck doing my makeup on TikTok live for three hours every night and then I would go out in like this like insane drag makeup and like all these thrifted like 70s disco always in fucking heels just a maximalist and that was so amazing and then it just got to be like there was no separation. Like I would be out as Kaylee in that. And then I would be on stage as that.

No, like three plus times, it's not casual. Yeah, three plus. Two times is like fine, what the fuck ever. Like a Friday and like a booty call on like a Tuesday, fine.

No, like three plus times, it's not casual. Yeah, three plus. Two times is like fine, what the fuck ever. Like a Friday and like a booty call on like a Tuesday, fine.

Yeah. Yes, because I've been in the past desperate for companionship, so I will go along with what they want.

Yeah. Yes, because I've been in the past desperate for companionship, so I will go along with what they want.

And will give up, like, basically my values and... Yeah, I would just throw away my personality. Because I don't want to be lonely. And then I get mad at them for being like, this is casual, whatever. And I'm like, but I threw away my entire personality for this. I gave up my weekends for this. You know what I mean? And that's why I'm bitter about it.

And will give up, like, basically my values and... Yeah, I would just throw away my personality. Because I don't want to be lonely. And then I get mad at them for being like, this is casual, whatever. And I'm like, but I threw away my entire personality for this. I gave up my weekends for this. You know what I mean? And that's why I'm bitter about it.

But honestly, yeah, it's like... Next question. No.

But honestly, yeah, it's like... Next question. No.

And it's never worth it. Never. And the thing is, like all the people that I threw my entire life away, my self-respect, like I disregarded all my friends. I disregarded all like my gut feelings. I disregarded. You know what? It never fucking works out. It never works out. Anyone you have to throw anything away for, it never works out. Or you get married and then you get divorced.

And it's never worth it. Never. And the thing is, like all the people that I threw my entire life away, my self-respect, like I disregarded all my friends. I disregarded all like my gut feelings. I disregarded. You know what? It never fucking works out. It never works out. Anyone you have to throw anything away for, it never works out. Or you get married and then you get divorced.

And you think that'll get better when you get married, but it never does. It only gets worse.

And you think that'll get better when you get married, but it never does. It only gets worse.

I like both. I have insomnia.

I like both. I have insomnia.

no i'm hard i'm hard what oh wait yes oh my god yeah i dated someone for a year because my friend set me up bad or good decision i mean the whole thing was casual but we dated for a year that's why i'm saying all this stupid shit

no i'm hard i'm hard what oh wait yes oh my god yeah i dated someone for a year because my friend set me up bad or good decision i mean the whole thing was casual but we dated for a year that's why i'm saying all this stupid shit

It's serious. I'm very in love. But I am pro-single. Everyone should be single. I'm serious. Be single. Stop dating. Be single. Have a great time alone. Find out for yourself if you can 100% be okay alone before you date. That's what I found out. I had a great time when I was single. And I know that I will be okay. And now I have an awesome time that I'm with someone. Like, how did you meet?

It's serious. I'm very in love. But I am pro-single. Everyone should be single. I'm serious. Be single. Stop dating. Be single. Have a great time alone. Find out for yourself if you can 100% be okay alone before you date. That's what I found out. I had a great time when I was single. And I know that I will be okay. And now I have an awesome time that I'm with someone. Like, how did you meet?

And then there was like no separation. It just got, I would look at myself in the mirror and be like, what's the difference between chapel and like,

And then there was like no separation. It just got, I would look at myself in the mirror and be like, what's the difference between chapel and like,

I haven't dated someone since this all really, really blew up. I'm dating the same person that I was dating before it blew up. I'm not sure how I would date now. I think it would actually be a nightmare. I think I would be so fucking single right now. Because you're terrified about their intentions. I'm scared. I don't trust anyone.

I haven't dated someone since this all really, really blew up. I'm dating the same person that I was dating before it blew up. I'm not sure how I would date now. I think it would actually be a nightmare. I think I would be so fucking single right now. Because you're terrified about their intentions. I'm scared. I don't trust anyone.

I just think in my head, I'm like, any new person that I am texting, I'm like, I'm assuming they will screenshot this and, like, send it to someone else.

I just think in my head, I'm like, any new person that I am texting, I'm like, I'm assuming they will screenshot this and, like, send it to someone else.

How would you describe your type? I really don't have one. I know everyone said that, but... Like... I don't know. I love, I just love, as far as, like, looks and stuff, I don't, like, really have a type, but I love art girls, like, weird art girls, girls who love to read and love to, like, who are, like, very niche girls.

How would you describe your type? I really don't have one. I know everyone said that, but... Like... I don't know. I love, I just love, as far as, like, looks and stuff, I don't, like, really have a type, but I love art girls, like, weird art girls, girls who love to read and love to, like, who are, like, very niche girls.

So really it's like I'm an all day, all night person until I take my pills.

So really it's like I'm an all day, all night person until I take my pills.

I probably like a girl that collects things and is okay with an exotic pet, owned a hamster one time and would own one again, or doesn't give a fuck about their car, will pick up a worm, is not scared of bugs and snakes. Yeah. Can get down watching a foreign film. Would be okay like having zero plan. So like have you ever taken the Enneagram test?

I probably like a girl that collects things and is okay with an exotic pet, owned a hamster one time and would own one again, or doesn't give a fuck about their car, will pick up a worm, is not scared of bugs and snakes. Yeah. Can get down watching a foreign film. Would be okay like having zero plan. So like have you ever taken the Enneagram test?

And you're an eight?

And you're an eight?

okay good to know what is the boldest thing you've ever done to shoot your shot with someone send a nude i guess i don't know just like we'll be talking like regular and i'll be like that was one time um another time oh this was so fucked this was so fucking stupid I do not think I'm actually not proud of this. Ex-boyfriends at the club. I'm at the club. I see him hitting on this girl.

okay good to know what is the boldest thing you've ever done to shoot your shot with someone send a nude i guess i don't know just like we'll be talking like regular and i'll be like that was one time um another time oh this was so fucked this was so fucking stupid I do not think I'm actually not proud of this. Ex-boyfriends at the club. I'm at the club. I see him hitting on this girl.

And I'm like, why the fuck is he doing this in front of me? This is evil. Like we're both single at this point. So whatever. He goes to the bathroom. I go up to this girl and I'm like, I think you're so pretty. And then I steal her. And then at the end of the night, we were just making out and he's just standing there. That's weaponizing gay. No. Actually. No.

And I'm like, why the fuck is he doing this in front of me? This is evil. Like we're both single at this point. So whatever. He goes to the bathroom. I go up to this girl and I'm like, I think you're so pretty. And then I steal her. And then at the end of the night, we were just making out and he's just standing there. That's weaponizing gay. No. Actually. No.

triple that is that's called being evil and it's like i was so fucked up i was on multiple drugs so was that girl he i don't even know what he's on like and that girl like her name was something crazy

triple that is that's called being evil and it's like i was so fucked up i was on multiple drugs so was that girl he i don't even know what he's on like and that girl like her name was something crazy

I will never do that again.

I will never do that again.

I don't... What the fuck? Something happened to me. Jesus. Bad breath. Chewing with their mouth open is cray-cray. People who are... Who, like, don't tip...

I don't... What the fuck? Something happened to me. Jesus. Bad breath. Chewing with their mouth open is cray-cray. People who are... Who, like, don't tip...

I don't like when they talk about their exes badly or the women in their family badly. I don't date men anymore, but that was like a common thing. Isn't it crazy? It was like talking shit about their mom, about their sister. Yeah, dude. It's like I'm sensitive to smells. So... But I'm thinking about immediate deal breakers. I don't know, dude. Like, I think their music taste says a lot.

I don't like when they talk about their exes badly or the women in their family badly. I don't date men anymore, but that was like a common thing. Isn't it crazy? It was like talking shit about their mom, about their sister. Yeah, dude. It's like I'm sensitive to smells. So... But I'm thinking about immediate deal breakers. I don't know, dude. Like, I think their music taste says a lot.

What would turn you off? Like, if someone doesn't like Beyonce, I'm like, that says a lot more than what I need.

What would turn you off? Like, if someone doesn't like Beyonce, I'm like, that says a lot more than what I need.

Well, I was just, God, I'm so annoyed with literally just the boys where I grew up, just literally talking about having sex with these girls and how the girls loved it so much. And I think about me and how performative I was and how actually like, When I started having sex with women, I didn't really even know what to do because I was so used to performing, like, everything.

Well, I was just, God, I'm so annoyed with literally just the boys where I grew up, just literally talking about having sex with these girls and how the girls loved it so much. And I think about me and how performative I was and how actually like, When I started having sex with women, I didn't really even know what to do because I was so used to performing, like, everything.

Just, like, so performative. And... And I think about hooking up with women compared to men and, like, how much women give... to their partner instead of like with men I just obviously I was dating some not awesome people but what the common denominator was like they could not get it through their head like what they're doing like

Just, like, so performative. And... And I think about hooking up with women compared to men and, like, how much women give... to their partner instead of like with men I just obviously I was dating some not awesome people but what the common denominator was like they could not get it through their head like what they're doing like

wasn't right and even if i was being like i don't think that feels good they were still doing it but at that point it's on me it's like bitch just break up what is wrong with you but the fact that i have dated so many guys who do it wrong and don't really they haven't figured out that they need to do better that they need to give more the giver what i'm saying in the song is these country boys are not going to give you what you need

wasn't right and even if i was being like i don't think that feels good they were still doing it but at that point it's on me it's like bitch just break up what is wrong with you but the fact that i have dated so many guys who do it wrong and don't really they haven't figured out that they need to do better that they need to give more the giver what i'm saying in the song is these country boys are not going to give you what you need

if you want to have an orgasm which a lot of ladies don't apparently no no i didn't i didn't care about it my whole life obviously until i met women and so it was like such a like holy fuck i'm gonna write the giver about showing that actually sex should be a giving experience.

if you want to have an orgasm which a lot of ladies don't apparently no no i didn't i didn't care about it my whole life obviously until i met women and so it was like such a like holy fuck i'm gonna write the giver about showing that actually sex should be a giving experience.

And it's, of course we love the kinky girls, of course we love the doms, we love the subs, like love, but there's still a giving whatever. So I wrote The Giver about that, just about like, I think specifically in femme relationships, it's such an understanding that it is so a giving give, you know? It's mutual. It's yeah. And I just feel like when I was with men, it wasn't mutual.

And it's, of course we love the kinky girls, of course we love the doms, we love the subs, like love, but there's still a giving whatever. So I wrote The Giver about that, just about like, I think specifically in femme relationships, it's such an understanding that it is so a giving give, you know? It's mutual. It's yeah. And I just feel like when I was with men, it wasn't mutual.

I'm like, how did you date me for four years and you weren't concerned that I did an orgasm? Not once. Again, it's on me. Like, boo-boo, you decided to stay in that relationship. But it's like, if I could not get my girlfriend there, I would do everything. I would do anything, however long. I don't care. I would do anything. Why did they not do anything? Why didn't they want to do anything?

I'm like, how did you date me for four years and you weren't concerned that I did an orgasm? Not once. Again, it's on me. Like, boo-boo, you decided to stay in that relationship. But it's like, if I could not get my girlfriend there, I would do everything. I would do anything, however long. I don't care. I would do anything. Why did they not do anything? Why didn't they want to do anything?

Why didn't they want to do everything for me? We just start crying. I do everything for my girlfriend, you know?

Why didn't they want to do everything for me? We just start crying. I do everything for my girlfriend, you know?

this is i gotta go yeah then it is kind of on you when i started hooking up with women i realized how easy it is actually thank you i realized how easy it is to eat a girl out and how this whole time i thought it was your neck hurts so bad oh it's like hard my jaw hurts you know what's hard sucking dick

this is i gotta go yeah then it is kind of on you when i started hooking up with women i realized how easy it is actually thank you i realized how easy it is to eat a girl out and how this whole time i thought it was your neck hurts so bad oh it's like hard my jaw hurts you know what's hard sucking dick

And I'm like, what the fuck, bitch? You've been here for almost 10 years. Like, what are you talking about? It's never been under $4. I am one of the bitches that are like, well, we got here at the right time. We got at this restaurant right at the right time. Look at the line. I don't even care. Like, as if I've ever given a fuck. But I still say it. I'm like, stop.

And I'm like, what the fuck, bitch? You've been here for almost 10 years. Like, what are you talking about? It's never been under $4. I am one of the bitches that are like, well, we got here at the right time. We got at this restaurant right at the right time. Look at the line. I don't even care. Like, as if I've ever given a fuck. But I still say it. I'm like, stop.

eating a girl out you can lay down it's it's actually i was fooled i was foolish to think that of course it wasn't as hard as what i was doing for them of course it wasn't that's why i would never do anal because i was like then let me peg you they would be like, no way. Why not? We just try. Let me peg you. And then we can, maybe we'll try.

eating a girl out you can lay down it's it's actually i was fooled i was foolish to think that of course it wasn't as hard as what i was doing for them of course it wasn't that's why i would never do anal because i was like then let me peg you they would be like, no way. Why not? We just try. Let me peg you. And then we can, maybe we'll try.

That's one thing that we both have. We both have that type. We both have that hole. Figure it out. But when I started hooking up with women, I was like, fuck you guys. This is one thing.

That's one thing that we both have. We both have that type. We both have that hole. Figure it out. But when I started hooking up with women, I was like, fuck you guys. This is one thing.

enjoyable first of all finally second of all way way easier it's actually fucking crazy it's actually fucking crazy so what you can't find the clip work harder it may take 10 minutes longer that's fine i was always confused why my boyfriends didn't want to go down like

enjoyable first of all finally second of all way way easier it's actually fucking crazy it's actually fucking crazy so what you can't find the clip work harder it may take 10 minutes longer that's fine i was always confused why my boyfriends didn't want to go down like

Sucking dick. You only do one thing.

Sucking dick. You only do one thing.

sometimes you can get crazy but really it's only one one type of motion vulvas are so different so intricate that it's hard it's harder it's harder to find a clitoris and do exactly what a someone with a clitoris likes than sucking a dick that's completely fair because it's like you have to also stay at the certain pace if they're gonna like it's a yeah like it's it is a lot more complicated but like

sometimes you can get crazy but really it's only one one type of motion vulvas are so different so intricate that it's hard it's harder it's harder to find a clitoris and do exactly what a someone with a clitoris likes than sucking a dick that's completely fair because it's like you have to also stay at the certain pace if they're gonna like it's a yeah like it's it is a lot more complicated but like

I am just confused why like... I'm just confused. You know what? I'm confused by myself for staying and settling.

I am just confused why like... I'm just confused. You know what? I'm confused by myself for staying and settling.

PDA or keep it private? Don't fucking do that. Don't. Actually, legit, don't. I just got like really stressed out. FaceTimes or phone calls?

PDA or keep it private? Don't fucking do that. Don't. Actually, legit, don't. I just got like really stressed out. FaceTimes or phone calls?

I get called out for saying roof instead of roof. But I was like, Cement is how most people say it, but I was raised cement. Like semen, but cement. Yeah, cement. Ooh. And I say insurance, like different. So there's like those things, but also it's like, I don't know. I wish it was more acceptable to like be barefoot. I wish that like, like, I don't know.

I get called out for saying roof instead of roof. But I was like, Cement is how most people say it, but I was raised cement. Like semen, but cement. Yeah, cement. Ooh. And I say insurance, like different. So there's like those things, but also it's like, I don't know. I wish it was more acceptable to like be barefoot. I wish that like, like, I don't know.

uh god both are awesome but i probably high sex now yeah agree wand or rabbit i do not fuck with rabbits i don't fuck with like a lot of them honestly what is your favorite I guess wand. Or like the little, the rose thing, but it's not the rose.

uh god both are awesome but i probably high sex now yeah agree wand or rabbit i do not fuck with rabbits i don't fuck with like a lot of them honestly what is your favorite I guess wand. Or like the little, the rose thing, but it's not the rose.

Work. That is like what is also so different about... For me, it's like, for some reason, a lot of men that I've been with have been really uncomfortable with me using toys. But like, I think it's like a given with a lot of like gay sex. So it's kind of awesome that that's not even like an issue.

Work. That is like what is also so different about... For me, it's like, for some reason, a lot of men that I've been with have been really uncomfortable with me using toys. But like, I think it's like a given with a lot of like gay sex. So it's kind of awesome that that's not even like an issue.

Just that it feels like puberty. It's like everything is going to change and everything is going to hurt and everything is going to be uncomfortable now. And that there is a way to make life bearable again. And just like... Katy Perry literally was so straight up. She was like, just don't read the comments. Good night.

Just that it feels like puberty. It's like everything is going to change and everything is going to hurt and everything is going to be uncomfortable now. And that there is a way to make life bearable again. And just like... Katy Perry literally was so straight up. She was like, just don't read the comments. Good night.

And she like, when she came up to me at Brat, at Sweat Tour, she's like, just don't, don't read the comments, honey. Bye bye. It's just like hopped off. And I was like, actually, yeah. Like, why am I doing this to myself? And she is so like, these women have fucking done it. Like, and are still doing it. And the way they're still doing it is by ultimate protection.

And she like, when she came up to me at Brat, at Sweat Tour, she's like, just don't, don't read the comments, honey. Bye bye. It's just like hopped off. And I was like, actually, yeah. Like, why am I doing this to myself? And she is so like, these women have fucking done it. Like, and are still doing it. And the way they're still doing it is by ultimate protection.

and another i mean the best piece of advice was spend more than you're comfortable with on security that's the thing you don't realize you don't realize how many people are watching you when you don't realize they are like Everyone wants, some people want me dead. Like it's crazy. People know everything about me. People know my flight numbers. People know everything. That was the crazy part.

and another i mean the best piece of advice was spend more than you're comfortable with on security that's the thing you don't realize you don't realize how many people are watching you when you don't realize they are like Everyone wants, some people want me dead. Like it's crazy. People know everything about me. People know my flight numbers. People know everything. That was the crazy part.

It happened literally overnight. Like I landed, like everything was normal. Did GovBall. It was fine. I was walking around New York. I was getting stopped, you know, like, oh my God, I love you, la la. And I was like, oh, thank you, hee hee hee.

It happened literally overnight. Like I landed, like everything was normal. Did GovBall. It was fine. I was walking around New York. I was getting stopped, you know, like, oh my God, I love you, la la. And I was like, oh, thank you, hee hee hee.

then i do fallon fly back the next day from fallon land at the airport there is someone waiting for me at my gate and this has never happened before and i was like oh what i was like how did you get in here and like they had like my album and stuff and they had bought a ticket to get through tsa just to get to my gate and then like When I got to baggage claim, there were five people waiting.

then i do fallon fly back the next day from fallon land at the airport there is someone waiting for me at my gate and this has never happened before and i was like oh what i was like how did you get in here and like they had like my album and stuff and they had bought a ticket to get through tsa just to get to my gate and then like When I got to baggage claim, there were five people waiting.

So literally overnight. And then it happened so much after that. And stuff has been happening like that since.

So literally overnight. And then it happened so much after that. And stuff has been happening like that since.

I get why it's addictive though. It's addictive to walk in and know that everyone's looking at you. And that everyone's saying... That's addictive. Fame is so addictive. I get it. I get why people want this forever.

I get why it's addictive though. It's addictive to walk in and know that everyone's looking at you. And that everyone's saying... That's addictive. Fame is so addictive. I get it. I get why people want this forever.

I guess that's like more country, but I'll eat food off the ground.

I guess that's like more country, but I'll eat food off the ground.

Well, that's why I do stuff like this because it's fun. Doing stuff that's soul-sucking is actually where I lose myself. So if I'm like, I can do my job, but as long as it's fun, then I feel like I haven't lost myself.

Well, that's why I do stuff like this because it's fun. Doing stuff that's soul-sucking is actually where I lose myself. So if I'm like, I can do my job, but as long as it's fun, then I feel like I haven't lost myself.

But what feels like I'm too in it is when I start caring about numbers, when I start caring about charts, when I start caring about checks, when I start caring about like, well, what is she doing? Oh, she's doing that much touring? Okay, let's add some more. It's like,

But what feels like I'm too in it is when I start caring about numbers, when I start caring about charts, when I start caring about checks, when I start caring about like, well, what is she doing? Oh, she's doing that much touring? Okay, let's add some more. It's like,

I like... My car is so fucked up. What kind of car do you drive? Well, a beater. It's not a beater. That's actually really dramatic. It's my mom's old car. But it's just like, I'm not going to fix it. Like, I'm just not going to fix it. Wait, you drive your mom's old car? I've never bought my own car. Why not? I'm kind of embarrassed of cars in general.

I like... My car is so fucked up. What kind of car do you drive? Well, a beater. It's not a beater. That's actually really dramatic. It's my mom's old car. But it's just like, I'm not going to fix it. Like, I'm just not going to fix it. Wait, you drive your mom's old car? I've never bought my own car. Why not? I'm kind of embarrassed of cars in general.

That's when I'm not in reality anymore because like actually the only thing that matters is like I go out on stage and like make like me smile and then some other people smile and then I get off stage and pay my rent and that's it.

That's when I'm not in reality anymore because like actually the only thing that matters is like I go out on stage and like make like me smile and then some other people smile and then I get off stage and pay my rent and that's it.

I mean the VMAs were so awesome. I had a great time. I had a great time at the Grammys. Like, I think I'm real, what I'm really, what I'm actually most proud of myself for is like, dang, I didn't, I didn't bend at the knee. I did not kiss the ring. That's actually what I think I'm the most proud. I did not do like, I did not jump through the hoops that I

I mean the VMAs were so awesome. I had a great time. I had a great time at the Grammys. Like, I think I'm real, what I'm really, what I'm actually most proud of myself for is like, dang, I didn't, I didn't bend at the knee. I did not kiss the ring. That's actually what I think I'm the most proud. I did not do like, I did not jump through the hoops that I

was told I had to to get a fucking Grammy or like I did not have to kiss the ring of what whoever like I just you either like me as I am or don't invite me to a party or don't invite me to an award show or don't expect me to like I don't know I I'm very I'm most proud of myself for doing what makes me feel like a good person over what is the most, how can I get the most money, you know?

was told I had to to get a fucking Grammy or like I did not have to kiss the ring of what whoever like I just you either like me as I am or don't invite me to a party or don't invite me to an award show or don't expect me to like I don't know I I'm very I'm most proud of myself for doing what makes me feel like a good person over what is the most, how can I get the most money, you know?

I just want to feel like a good person. I don't care about anything else in this world. That's my deepest fear of all time. In my heart of hearts, my deepest fear is feeling a bad person and doing everything I can to be a good person and then still realizing I'm actually bad. But that's some Christian guilt there.

I just want to feel like a good person. I don't care about anything else in this world. That's my deepest fear of all time. In my heart of hearts, my deepest fear is feeling a bad person and doing everything I can to be a good person and then still realizing I'm actually bad. But that's some Christian guilt there.

I will say that. And girl, you know I'm going to be coming out with looks for the festivals.

I will say that. And girl, you know I'm going to be coming out with looks for the festivals.

Thank you for having me.

Thank you for having me.

I like your questions.

I like your questions.

Well, I'm styled by Genesis Webb, but I'm wearing Tom Brown and some of this is archival, which is amazing, but it's like a little... white and red striped outfit vibe. All of it's Tom Brown. It's just the best. He's the best.

Well, I'm styled by Genesis Webb, but I'm wearing Tom Brown and some of this is archival, which is amazing, but it's like a little... white and red striped outfit vibe. All of it's Tom Brown. It's just the best. He's the best.

If someone has a really nice car, I'm like, it's too much. Too much. Too much. And also, I know I'm going to fuck it up.

If someone has a really nice car, I'm like, it's too much. Too much. Too much. And also, I know I'm going to fuck it up.

I couldn't afford it. Yeah, yeah. It's like I couldn't. I've never been a bitch with a car. I just don't think it means anything. But to me, I guess it does because I'm always like...

I couldn't afford it. Yeah, yeah. It's like I couldn't. I've never been a bitch with a car. I just don't think it means anything. But to me, I guess it does because I'm always like...

Who's driving that?

Who's driving that?

You know who the only person I know who had it? Who? Who signed up for it. I'm not even kidding. Because you could sign up for it in like 2019, 2020. My ex-boyfriend is the only person I've ever known. And you know what? He has hentai tattoos. White, white, white boy. Hentai tattoos of just girls tied up. He has... I actually probably shouldn't say everything.

You know who the only person I know who had it? Who? Who signed up for it. I'm not even kidding. Because you could sign up for it in like 2019, 2020. My ex-boyfriend is the only person I've ever known. And you know what? He has hentai tattoos. White, white, white boy. Hentai tattoos of just girls tied up. He has... I actually probably shouldn't say everything.

Actually, he probably... But that's like the vibe. I'm like... His vibe.

Actually, he probably... But that's like the vibe. I'm like... His vibe.

I'm just like... I don't know anyone who I'd hang out with that has a Cybertruck.

I'm just like... I don't know anyone who I'd hang out with that has a Cybertruck.

I'm going to guess a...

I'm going to guess a...

When I was a nanny, the family had the nanny car was a Porsche Cayenne. So I've actually driven that before.

When I was a nanny, the family had the nanny car was a Porsche Cayenne. So I've actually driven that before.

That's the vibe.

That's the vibe.

Yeah, I am. They're really awesome. We have such different lives. They are, a lot of them are married with children and like they have their own houses and like And to me, I'm like, I don't know when that's gonna happen for me. Like, I don't know when that is realistic, if ever. So- Do you want that? Like get married and- Yeah. I don't know.

Yeah, I am. They're really awesome. We have such different lives. They are, a lot of them are married with children and like they have their own houses and like And to me, I'm like, I don't know when that's gonna happen for me. Like, I don't know when that is realistic, if ever. So- Do you want that? Like get married and- Yeah. I don't know.

I like, part of me is like, is it even gonna be legal to marry like my wife one day, you know? I don't know. So, but kids, all of my friends who have kids are in hell. I don't know anyone. I actually don't know anyone who's happy and has children at this age. I have a one-year-old, three-year-old, four and under, five and under.

I like, part of me is like, is it even gonna be legal to marry like my wife one day, you know? I don't know. So, but kids, all of my friends who have kids are in hell. I don't know anyone. I actually don't know anyone who's happy and has children at this age. I have a one-year-old, three-year-old, four and under, five and under.

I literally have not met anyone who's happy, anyone who has light in their eyes, anyone who has slept. These are not looking too good. I'm like, why did my parents do that? I'm the oldest of four.

I literally have not met anyone who's happy, anyone who has light in their eyes, anyone who has slept. These are not looking too good. I'm like, why did my parents do that? I'm the oldest of four.

Yeah, like, they're just like, they're mothers. Like, they're fucking busy and they have jobs and lives. Yeah.

Yeah, like, they're just like, they're mothers. Like, they're fucking busy and they have jobs and lives. Yeah.

i am i am just their friend you know what i mean like they are so sweet and so supportive and come out to shows and like they have to get fucking babysitters to come to my shows like i don't ever expect like when i go home i love reminiscing about like destroying public property with them and like doing some illegal shit and like literally hating the same bitches for 15 years.

i am i am just their friend you know what i mean like they are so sweet and so supportive and come out to shows and like they have to get fucking babysitters to come to my shows like i don't ever expect like when i go home i love reminiscing about like destroying public property with them and like doing some illegal shit and like literally hating the same bitches for 15 years.

I wore one for Bonnaroo that was club kid themed and it was latex, medical latex, sexy, kinky girl. And it is kind of like disturbing in a way, but I felt so awesome.

I wore one for Bonnaroo that was club kid themed and it was latex, medical latex, sexy, kinky girl. And it is kind of like disturbing in a way, but I felt so awesome.

Like we just can't get over stuff. We can't get, I will never get over.

Like we just can't get over stuff. We can't get, I will never get over.

That's the thing. I still hate those bitches from high school. There was one girl. Who said. I like. Whatever. Beat her in the fucking talent show. Like whatever. Who cares. Like I won. And she was like. You did so good. Like I can't wait till your voice fully matures. Like I can't wait to actually hear it. Whenever you get like some lessons. And some maturity in your voice. And I was like.

That's the thing. I still hate those bitches from high school. There was one girl. Who said. I like. Whatever. Beat her in the fucking talent show. Like whatever. Who cares. Like I won. And she was like. You did so good. Like I can't wait till your voice fully matures. Like I can't wait to actually hear it. Whenever you get like some lessons. And some maturity in your voice. And I was like.

We're the same age. And to like. I will show you. And I think I did, but also I'm trying to think there's so many things. Oh, here's one like hot to go was there was a line in hot to go. I will never forget this. I was standing in line at lunch and there were two girls in front of me, like a few people up in front of me and they couldn't, they didn't know I was standing back there, but they were

We're the same age. And to like. I will show you. And I think I did, but also I'm trying to think there's so many things. Oh, here's one like hot to go was there was a line in hot to go. I will never forget this. I was standing in line at lunch and there were two girls in front of me, like a few people up in front of me and they couldn't, they didn't know I was standing back there, but they were

like talking about me and they were like, oh, do you know who's dating, we'll say, What's the, what's the Western, Mr. John. Okay. Carolyn. Johnny Carolyn. Let's say that's the boy's name. Okay. Johnny Carolyn. Do you know who's dating Johnny Carolyn? They're like, oh no, no, no. Who? Oh, it's Kaylee Amstutz. Well, who is she? Oh, you know, she's like, she's not hot, but she's pretty.

like talking about me and they were like, oh, do you know who's dating, we'll say, What's the, what's the Western, Mr. John. Okay. Carolyn. Johnny Carolyn. Let's say that's the boy's name. Okay. Johnny Carolyn. Do you know who's dating Johnny Carolyn? They're like, oh no, no, no. Who? Oh, it's Kaylee Amstutz. Well, who is she? Oh, you know, she's like, she's not hot, but she's pretty.

She's like, she's like pretty, but she's not like hot. And so when I wrote hot to go, that's why I'm like, Call me hot, not pretty. Because, like, that was so ingrained in my heart of, like, I want to be the hot girl. I want to be the hot girl. I don't want to be called pretty. You know? But I wasn't hot in high school.

She's like, she's like pretty, but she's not like hot. And so when I wrote hot to go, that's why I'm like, Call me hot, not pretty. Because, like, that was so ingrained in my heart of, like, I want to be the hot girl. I want to be the hot girl. I don't want to be called pretty. You know? But I wasn't hot in high school.

That's so true. And all the hot guys at my school. I don't know. I don't really know any hot guys at my school. I don't think I grew up with hot guys. There was no one that I was really attracted to.

I look scary, but like I love looking like kind of crazy and scary. But I love that. I mean, the Lollapalooza one was so fucking awesome because I got to wear tennis shoes.

That is what's awesome about being a songwriter. My breakup, when I wrote like my kink is karma vibes, was the worst thing that's ever happened. Like genuinely, I don't think it could have been worse but I got to like fuel an entire video and a song and a look a character just based off of horrible week of my life.

When I do the festivals and I look in the camera and I say, I dedicate this, whatever, la la la, I am actually thinking about them or whoever I'm dedicating, but I do think about it. And I'm like, at Lollapalooza, I was like, fuck you so hard for talking about you dating me. Like, how could you talk about Why are you bragging that you dated me? You broke up with me. That's the craziest part.

gov ball when you literally like were all green okay i don't think people know this i had to spread my cheeks you're lying to me no i just spread my cheeks and get sprayed with green and like it didn't come off the way i got that off was i took three baths not soap dish soap

When I'm at work, Chapel. But, like, none of my friends, like, call me Chapel. Okay.

Hannah Montana.

I remember when the first episode came out.

Nick or Joe?

I'm sorry.

No. I always hated the Jonas Brothers. But here's the thing. Joe's so fucking nice to me now. I've grown up to love them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When I was young, I was like you. I was like, I don't care about the boys. I just want Hannah. Hannah. And when they came out, I was like, oh, fucking God. Shut up. I was nine.

And I literally said, when they came out, I was like, oh, my fucking God, I don't care. I believed in God at that time.

And all of this to say, I love the Joes. When I was nine, I think it was just the lesbian in me that just had no interest in... seeing them as an idol as a child, but now I'm like work.

This is the part when I break free. Cause I don't want a day in my life. Go-to song when you need a good cry. All along it was a fever. Cold sweat, hot-headed believer. Stay by Rihanna, which I auditioned to with the... Yeah, I auditioned with it for The Voice. I didn't make it on the show, obviously. Thank God.

I literally poured a dish soap in and scrubbed, rubbed my whole body with coconut oil, jumped in, scrubbed with a literal like kitchen sponge and every, all of it came off except there was a green tint to my skin so I literally looked moldy for four days.

My favorite song of all time. When you see me in the club, you better think about, or you better think about us.

I'm going to scream and shout with Britney Spears.

hate karaoke moving on i because i don't want to try yeah i don't i don't like feeling like i have to try to sing well if i'm not doing it for work because then it feels like a like look at me i love karaoke is for people who never get to sing yes to sing and then we sing your songs and i'm like like i hate singing it but i did i don't know one time i pretended i put in like

I was at a seafood boil in the middle of Apalachicola, Florida. We were an off day on tour and we went to this seafood place and there was just a dad playing guitar. And it was like, does anybody out there want to sing a song? Does anybody want to sing a duet with me? And my whole touring crew was like, go, go, go. And I was like, please stop, please stop. And then I was like, fine, I will.

And he was like, come on up. What's your name? And I think I was like, Madeline, and he's like, Madeline, what do you want to sing? Here are my lists. And I look down and I see Shallow. And I was like, Shallow? And he was like, really? You want to do Shallow? And I was like, mm-hmm. And like, I did it and I went, I'm on the deep end, like up there. It was all old people and families.

It was literally, like, old people and then, like, moms with four kids who were, like, tired. And, like, people just, like, turned around. Because I was ripping it. And afterwards, like, I just sat down. Literally, old people just started standing up. And they were like, you have to try out for American Idol. You have to try out. And I was like, oh, my God, stop. I'm not that good. No.

And then I went to Orlando and opened for Olivia Rodrigo the next day.

I think people are scared of me. Really? I think I made a big enough deal about not talking to me that people do not talk to me. That's I think the truth of it all. And I've been with people like friends who are like artists and they're like, when they're with me, they're like, it's a force field around us. People don't come up to me if I'm with you. And I think I'm just like,

Damn, baby, you say it too. You say, don't touch me. Don't touch me. Don't look at me. Don't talk to me. I don't know who you are. And they won't come out to bother you. What a concept.

And I'm not just by one person, by like three. Three or four. Do you love it that you said it? It hurts that I have to... It hurts. I know it really hurts people because they take it really... They feel like it's me disrespecting them, that I owe it to them, and that how dare I call it abuse. Or complaining about success. I get that a lot. But I'm not complaining about success.

I'm just complaining about creepy behavior. Yeah. I love admiration. Everyone loves admiration. I just don't want you to interrupt me when I'm having a fight with my girlfriend. Don't fucking be like, can I get a photo? When I'm crying, talking to my girlfriend, that's fucking crazy.

I was like scrubbing my like bikini lines and like my pubes are pulling out from at all. I don't have, I'm not even like lasered or anything.

You know, it's like I can't. Of course, of course, it's going to take a second to.

for people to like really look at themselves and like i have to have grace for that like i didn't how would i know any better if i already see hannah montana i would have to tell her that i i love her music so much and that like she means a lot to me but in reality it's like no i don't because that's not hannah right there that's not hannah that's destiny oh cyrus cyrus

Have you had your phone stolen there?

I've never gone to the Abbey because apparently, well... Because you get your phone stolen. Wait, what? It's crazy. I have had three friends whose phone got stolen.

Okay, well, obviously when I went, the night was fucking awesome because I was like... It's like, it was amazing. And I just couldn't stop dancing. And I was obsessed with the go-go dancers. And the music was so loud and everyone was so hot and making out. And I had never seen anything like it. And I wanted to be like a go-go dancer, exotic dancer after that. And so I was like looking into it.

And I just was like, I felt like, like really embarrassed if someone from like a record label were to see me dancing, I would just feel really embarrassed because I don't know, like I just felt really self-conscious. And so instead I wrote a song about me being the dancer. So that's what Pink Pony is about. It's like me being the dancer at the Abbey and like, I'm scared to go to the Abbey.

I just can't, yeah.

I get really uncomfortable, but I am the bitch that makes all the dance floors. I just like, I'm like a hypocrite when it comes to PDA. I'm like, what the fuck? And then I will like be drunk making out. I've done it with so many different people. It's fun though. It's so fun. If I'm fucked up, like I don't care. But I don't really drink anymore. So when I see people making out, I just laugh.

I can't stop laughing.

In WeHo, it's like at brunch. It's not even a dance floor.

Probably the night.

Sometimes I love having an outfit, but usually not with glam like this. Like I'm not wearing a lash or, you know, anything like that or nails really. But I'm not in a lot of color. That's the thing. Like I'm in a lot of blacks and a lot of like taupes and whites and creams, like nothing. Yeah.

One night. One night I thought my bus driver of the tour bus driver was going to leave without us. I was going to just drive away. And I called my tour manager, and I was like, hey, something's going on. The bus driver's being kind of weird. And I think he's really mad. He's just stomping around. And I thought he was leaving. It looked like he was driving away, but then he backed up.

I think he's really pissed off at us, and I think we should get on the bus. She thought I was kidding. And so she was like, oh, yeah, he's going crazy. I heard he I heard he hit someone. And then that, you know, we don't worry about it. Like the cops are on the way. And I was like. Holy fuck. And then I got up, I got on the bus, bus driver was nowhere to be found.

And I was like, everybody on the bus, get your cat, get your passports and let's get off. Come on. It's literally like the sound team. Like I'm about to start crying. Everyone's drunk. Like, it's so bad. It's like after a show. It's the night before we go to Coachella. And I'm like, the cops are coming. Everyone get it. Get out. Get out. The cops are coming. Get your passports.

Get something that's important to you and get off the bus. I didn't know my tour manager was kidding. And so then I like, I was so fucked up and I was just crying. I was like, something's really wrong.

And my tour manager was like, I was kidding. And I was like, then what's going on? Like, then what's even going on? But the bus driver's being weird. What do we do? And she's like, I literally don't... Like, no one knew what to do. And I was like, I'm just confused. We have to make it to Coachella. We have to...

this poor man like walks out of peeing and he's like why is everyone acting weird that is what fucking happened he's holding your cats and your passports and you're like he's gonna attack that's literally what happened he's like i'm not gonna attack anything nothing's wrong guys and i was just so drunk i was like he's on a rampage everyone get off the bus

really sorry sir we love you drive dude alcohol can do some weird fucking shit i don't drink anymore i shouldn't i the only time i drink actually the only time i drink is my birthday night i had my birthday we how did you celebrate i went to jumbo's clown room how was that no oh tell me everything it's a strip club but it's not like a it's very gay it's like a lot of lesbian vibes

They gave me a lap dance and it was fun. Usually those things really make me uncomfortable, but I was drunk so I didn't care. And yeah, I rented the whole place out. It was a dream birthday. It was a dream come true. And those girls fucking know how to work a pole. The pole does not spin. Like, it's not... They do it. Like, it's real.

They're iconic athletes.

Obviously, I've come into being more Comfortable with saying I'm queer, with dating women. But I don't know, something like fucked up my sexuality. I think like my nervous system is so fried that I can't even feel like flirtatious. Like it's just too intense to even like be sexual at all. I'm just too sensitive.

Yeah, sometimes. But I'm in like, I wear a lot of skirts. I'm very modest when it comes to my day to day. And I think it's just because one, I feel like I'm in LA and I can dress like more masculine and not get like dirty looks. But I feel like in other parts of the country, it's like I just dress more feminine, so I don't want to deal with it.

No, I do. I want to be because I think that was a part of myself that was fun. I feel like that part of me exists on stage but off stage it's like it's this kind of I kind of reverted back to a very shameful part of myself and how I relate to sex. Just because it's like, when there's so much of you in the world that is exposed,

then like being sexual with someone is so vulnerable because the rest of your life is so vulnerable that it's like, it almost is too, I want to save something. Like, I just don't want to be that vulnerable with so many fucking people.

Because I can no longer... Yes, sexuality has like... It's just different now. And like... But... Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

blend in for you all i don't want to but i don't have the time of day yeah fuck off i used to dress fucking crazy though before like all of this happened and i had energy and like light in my eyes i would literally just wear my thong out mini skirt bottom ass cheeks out nipples see-through in this fucking trash i i dress like really, really bimbo-y.

Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

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And like I had, I wore like silicone, like breast, like boob inserts to make my boobs come up to my fucking, like up to my clavicle or whatever. And so I just like lost my shine. Why? Cause it became my job. And then I was like, I'm fucking tired. And glam takes, I mean, at that time I wasn't like,

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I was just in my room high as fuck doing my makeup on TikTok live for three hours every night and then I would go out in like this like insane drag makeup and like all these thrifted like 70s disco always in fucking heels just a maximalist and that was so amazing and then it just got to be like there was no separation. Like I would be out as Kaylee in that. And then I would be on stage as that.

No, like three plus times, it's not casual. Yeah, three plus. Two times is like fine, what the fuck ever. Like a Friday and like a booty call on like a Tuesday, fine.

Yeah. Yes, because I've been in the past desperate for companionship, so I will go along with what they want.

And will give up, like, basically my values and... Yeah, I would just throw away my personality. Because I don't want to be lonely. And then I get mad at them for being like, this is casual, whatever. And I'm like, but I threw away my entire personality for this. I gave up my weekends for this. You know what I mean? And that's why I'm bitter about it.

But honestly, yeah, it's like... Next question. No.

And it's never worth it. Never. And the thing is, like all the people that I threw my entire life away, my self-respect, like I disregarded all my friends. I disregarded all like my gut feelings. I disregarded. You know what? It never fucking works out. It never works out. Anyone you have to throw anything away for, it never works out. Or you get married and then you get divorced.

And you think that'll get better when you get married, but it never does. It only gets worse.

I like both. I have insomnia.

no i'm hard i'm hard what oh wait yes oh my god yeah i dated someone for a year because my friend set me up bad or good decision i mean the whole thing was casual but we dated for a year that's why i'm saying all this stupid shit

It's serious. I'm very in love. But I am pro-single. Everyone should be single. I'm serious. Be single. Stop dating. Be single. Have a great time alone. Find out for yourself if you can 100% be okay alone before you date. That's what I found out. I had a great time when I was single. And I know that I will be okay. And now I have an awesome time that I'm with someone. Like, how did you meet?

And then there was like no separation. It just got, I would look at myself in the mirror and be like, what's the difference between chapel and like,

I haven't dated someone since this all really, really blew up. I'm dating the same person that I was dating before it blew up. I'm not sure how I would date now. I think it would actually be a nightmare. I think I would be so fucking single right now. Because you're terrified about their intentions. I'm scared. I don't trust anyone.

I just think in my head, I'm like, any new person that I am texting, I'm like, I'm assuming they will screenshot this and, like, send it to someone else.

How would you describe your type? I really don't have one. I know everyone said that, but... Like... I don't know. I love, I just love, as far as, like, looks and stuff, I don't, like, really have a type, but I love art girls, like, weird art girls, girls who love to read and love to, like, who are, like, very niche girls.

So really it's like I'm an all day, all night person until I take my pills.

I probably like a girl that collects things and is okay with an exotic pet, owned a hamster one time and would own one again, or doesn't give a fuck about their car, will pick up a worm, is not scared of bugs and snakes. Yeah. Can get down watching a foreign film. Would be okay like having zero plan. So like have you ever taken the Enneagram test?

And you're an eight?

okay good to know what is the boldest thing you've ever done to shoot your shot with someone send a nude i guess i don't know just like we'll be talking like regular and i'll be like that was one time um another time oh this was so fucked this was so fucking stupid I do not think I'm actually not proud of this. Ex-boyfriends at the club. I'm at the club. I see him hitting on this girl.

And I'm like, why the fuck is he doing this in front of me? This is evil. Like we're both single at this point. So whatever. He goes to the bathroom. I go up to this girl and I'm like, I think you're so pretty. And then I steal her. And then at the end of the night, we were just making out and he's just standing there. That's weaponizing gay. No. Actually. No.

triple that is that's called being evil and it's like i was so fucked up i was on multiple drugs so was that girl he i don't even know what he's on like and that girl like her name was something crazy

I will never do that again.

I don't... What the fuck? Something happened to me. Jesus. Bad breath. Chewing with their mouth open is cray-cray. People who are... Who, like, don't tip...

I don't like when they talk about their exes badly or the women in their family badly. I don't date men anymore, but that was like a common thing. Isn't it crazy? It was like talking shit about their mom, about their sister. Yeah, dude. It's like I'm sensitive to smells. So... But I'm thinking about immediate deal breakers. I don't know, dude. Like, I think their music taste says a lot.

What would turn you off? Like, if someone doesn't like Beyonce, I'm like, that says a lot more than what I need.

Well, I was just, God, I'm so annoyed with literally just the boys where I grew up, just literally talking about having sex with these girls and how the girls loved it so much. And I think about me and how performative I was and how actually like, When I started having sex with women, I didn't really even know what to do because I was so used to performing, like, everything.

Just, like, so performative. And... And I think about hooking up with women compared to men and, like, how much women give... to their partner instead of like with men I just obviously I was dating some not awesome people but what the common denominator was like they could not get it through their head like what they're doing like

wasn't right and even if i was being like i don't think that feels good they were still doing it but at that point it's on me it's like bitch just break up what is wrong with you but the fact that i have dated so many guys who do it wrong and don't really they haven't figured out that they need to do better that they need to give more the giver what i'm saying in the song is these country boys are not going to give you what you need

if you want to have an orgasm which a lot of ladies don't apparently no no i didn't i didn't care about it my whole life obviously until i met women and so it was like such a like holy fuck i'm gonna write the giver about showing that actually sex should be a giving experience.

And it's, of course we love the kinky girls, of course we love the doms, we love the subs, like love, but there's still a giving whatever. So I wrote The Giver about that, just about like, I think specifically in femme relationships, it's such an understanding that it is so a giving give, you know? It's mutual. It's yeah. And I just feel like when I was with men, it wasn't mutual.

I'm like, how did you date me for four years and you weren't concerned that I did an orgasm? Not once. Again, it's on me. Like, boo-boo, you decided to stay in that relationship. But it's like, if I could not get my girlfriend there, I would do everything. I would do anything, however long. I don't care. I would do anything. Why did they not do anything? Why didn't they want to do anything?

Why didn't they want to do everything for me? We just start crying. I do everything for my girlfriend, you know?

this is i gotta go yeah then it is kind of on you when i started hooking up with women i realized how easy it is actually thank you i realized how easy it is to eat a girl out and how this whole time i thought it was your neck hurts so bad oh it's like hard my jaw hurts you know what's hard sucking dick

And I'm like, what the fuck, bitch? You've been here for almost 10 years. Like, what are you talking about? It's never been under $4. I am one of the bitches that are like, well, we got here at the right time. We got at this restaurant right at the right time. Look at the line. I don't even care. Like, as if I've ever given a fuck. But I still say it. I'm like, stop.

eating a girl out you can lay down it's it's actually i was fooled i was foolish to think that of course it wasn't as hard as what i was doing for them of course it wasn't that's why i would never do anal because i was like then let me peg you they would be like, no way. Why not? We just try. Let me peg you. And then we can, maybe we'll try.

That's one thing that we both have. We both have that type. We both have that hole. Figure it out. But when I started hooking up with women, I was like, fuck you guys. This is one thing.

enjoyable first of all finally second of all way way easier it's actually fucking crazy it's actually fucking crazy so what you can't find the clip work harder it may take 10 minutes longer that's fine i was always confused why my boyfriends didn't want to go down like

Sucking dick. You only do one thing.

sometimes you can get crazy but really it's only one one type of motion vulvas are so different so intricate that it's hard it's harder it's harder to find a clitoris and do exactly what a someone with a clitoris likes than sucking a dick that's completely fair because it's like you have to also stay at the certain pace if they're gonna like it's a yeah like it's it is a lot more complicated but like

I am just confused why like... I'm just confused. You know what? I'm confused by myself for staying and settling.

PDA or keep it private? Don't fucking do that. Don't. Actually, legit, don't. I just got like really stressed out. FaceTimes or phone calls?

I get called out for saying roof instead of roof. But I was like, Cement is how most people say it, but I was raised cement. Like semen, but cement. Yeah, cement. Ooh. And I say insurance, like different. So there's like those things, but also it's like, I don't know. I wish it was more acceptable to like be barefoot. I wish that like, like, I don't know.

uh god both are awesome but i probably high sex now yeah agree wand or rabbit i do not fuck with rabbits i don't fuck with like a lot of them honestly what is your favorite I guess wand. Or like the little, the rose thing, but it's not the rose.

Work. That is like what is also so different about... For me, it's like, for some reason, a lot of men that I've been with have been really uncomfortable with me using toys. But like, I think it's like a given with a lot of like gay sex. So it's kind of awesome that that's not even like an issue.

Just that it feels like puberty. It's like everything is going to change and everything is going to hurt and everything is going to be uncomfortable now. And that there is a way to make life bearable again. And just like... Katy Perry literally was so straight up. She was like, just don't read the comments. Good night.

And she like, when she came up to me at Brat, at Sweat Tour, she's like, just don't, don't read the comments, honey. Bye bye. It's just like hopped off. And I was like, actually, yeah. Like, why am I doing this to myself? And she is so like, these women have fucking done it. Like, and are still doing it. And the way they're still doing it is by ultimate protection.

and another i mean the best piece of advice was spend more than you're comfortable with on security that's the thing you don't realize you don't realize how many people are watching you when you don't realize they are like Everyone wants, some people want me dead. Like it's crazy. People know everything about me. People know my flight numbers. People know everything. That was the crazy part.

It happened literally overnight. Like I landed, like everything was normal. Did GovBall. It was fine. I was walking around New York. I was getting stopped, you know, like, oh my God, I love you, la la. And I was like, oh, thank you, hee hee hee.

then i do fallon fly back the next day from fallon land at the airport there is someone waiting for me at my gate and this has never happened before and i was like oh what i was like how did you get in here and like they had like my album and stuff and they had bought a ticket to get through tsa just to get to my gate and then like When I got to baggage claim, there were five people waiting.

So literally overnight. And then it happened so much after that. And stuff has been happening like that since.

I get why it's addictive though. It's addictive to walk in and know that everyone's looking at you. And that everyone's saying... That's addictive. Fame is so addictive. I get it. I get why people want this forever.

I guess that's like more country, but I'll eat food off the ground.

Well, that's why I do stuff like this because it's fun. Doing stuff that's soul-sucking is actually where I lose myself. So if I'm like, I can do my job, but as long as it's fun, then I feel like I haven't lost myself.

But what feels like I'm too in it is when I start caring about numbers, when I start caring about charts, when I start caring about checks, when I start caring about like, well, what is she doing? Oh, she's doing that much touring? Okay, let's add some more. It's like,

I like... My car is so fucked up. What kind of car do you drive? Well, a beater. It's not a beater. That's actually really dramatic. It's my mom's old car. But it's just like, I'm not going to fix it. Like, I'm just not going to fix it. Wait, you drive your mom's old car? I've never bought my own car. Why not? I'm kind of embarrassed of cars in general.

That's when I'm not in reality anymore because like actually the only thing that matters is like I go out on stage and like make like me smile and then some other people smile and then I get off stage and pay my rent and that's it.

I mean the VMAs were so awesome. I had a great time. I had a great time at the Grammys. Like, I think I'm real, what I'm really, what I'm actually most proud of myself for is like, dang, I didn't, I didn't bend at the knee. I did not kiss the ring. That's actually what I think I'm the most proud. I did not do like, I did not jump through the hoops that I

was told I had to to get a fucking Grammy or like I did not have to kiss the ring of what whoever like I just you either like me as I am or don't invite me to a party or don't invite me to an award show or don't expect me to like I don't know I I'm very I'm most proud of myself for doing what makes me feel like a good person over what is the most, how can I get the most money, you know?

I just want to feel like a good person. I don't care about anything else in this world. That's my deepest fear of all time. In my heart of hearts, my deepest fear is feeling a bad person and doing everything I can to be a good person and then still realizing I'm actually bad. But that's some Christian guilt there.

I will say that. And girl, you know I'm going to be coming out with looks for the festivals.

Thank you for having me.

I like your questions.

Well, I'm styled by Genesis Webb, but I'm wearing Tom Brown and some of this is archival, which is amazing, but it's like a little... white and red striped outfit vibe. All of it's Tom Brown. It's just the best. He's the best.

If someone has a really nice car, I'm like, it's too much. Too much. Too much. And also, I know I'm going to fuck it up.

I couldn't afford it. Yeah, yeah. It's like I couldn't. I've never been a bitch with a car. I just don't think it means anything. But to me, I guess it does because I'm always like...

Who's driving that?

You know who the only person I know who had it? Who? Who signed up for it. I'm not even kidding. Because you could sign up for it in like 2019, 2020. My ex-boyfriend is the only person I've ever known. And you know what? He has hentai tattoos. White, white, white boy. Hentai tattoos of just girls tied up. He has... I actually probably shouldn't say everything.

Actually, he probably... But that's like the vibe. I'm like... His vibe.

I'm just like... I don't know anyone who I'd hang out with that has a Cybertruck.

I'm going to guess a...

When I was a nanny, the family had the nanny car was a Porsche Cayenne. So I've actually driven that before.

That's the vibe.

Yeah, I am. They're really awesome. We have such different lives. They are, a lot of them are married with children and like they have their own houses and like And to me, I'm like, I don't know when that's gonna happen for me. Like, I don't know when that is realistic, if ever. So- Do you want that? Like get married and- Yeah. I don't know.

I like, part of me is like, is it even gonna be legal to marry like my wife one day, you know? I don't know. So, but kids, all of my friends who have kids are in hell. I don't know anyone. I actually don't know anyone who's happy and has children at this age. I have a one-year-old, three-year-old, four and under, five and under.

I literally have not met anyone who's happy, anyone who has light in their eyes, anyone who has slept. These are not looking too good. I'm like, why did my parents do that? I'm the oldest of four.

Yeah, like, they're just like, they're mothers. Like, they're fucking busy and they have jobs and lives. Yeah.

i am i am just their friend you know what i mean like they are so sweet and so supportive and come out to shows and like they have to get fucking babysitters to come to my shows like i don't ever expect like when i go home i love reminiscing about like destroying public property with them and like doing some illegal shit and like literally hating the same bitches for 15 years.

I wore one for Bonnaroo that was club kid themed and it was latex, medical latex, sexy, kinky girl. And it is kind of like disturbing in a way, but I felt so awesome.

Like we just can't get over stuff. We can't get, I will never get over.

That's the thing. I still hate those bitches from high school. There was one girl. Who said. I like. Whatever. Beat her in the fucking talent show. Like whatever. Who cares. Like I won. And she was like. You did so good. Like I can't wait till your voice fully matures. Like I can't wait to actually hear it. Whenever you get like some lessons. And some maturity in your voice. And I was like.

We're the same age. And to like. I will show you. And I think I did, but also I'm trying to think there's so many things. Oh, here's one like hot to go was there was a line in hot to go. I will never forget this. I was standing in line at lunch and there were two girls in front of me, like a few people up in front of me and they couldn't, they didn't know I was standing back there, but they were

like talking about me and they were like, oh, do you know who's dating, we'll say, What's the, what's the Western, Mr. John. Okay. Carolyn. Johnny Carolyn. Let's say that's the boy's name. Okay. Johnny Carolyn. Do you know who's dating Johnny Carolyn? They're like, oh no, no, no. Who? Oh, it's Kaylee Amstutz. Well, who is she? Oh, you know, she's like, she's not hot, but she's pretty.

She's like, she's like pretty, but she's not like hot. And so when I wrote hot to go, that's why I'm like, Call me hot, not pretty. Because, like, that was so ingrained in my heart of, like, I want to be the hot girl. I want to be the hot girl. I don't want to be called pretty. You know? But I wasn't hot in high school.

I don't do that in the recorded version. It doesn't fucking work. Same with The Giver. It did not work. Like, first of all, I said the wrong thing on SNL. I was supposed to say something else. Like, I got nervous and said some... Like, fucked up the wording. It kind of, like, makes sense 80%.

I don't do that in the recorded version. It doesn't fucking work. Same with The Giver. It did not work. Like, first of all, I said the wrong thing on SNL. I was supposed to say something else. Like, I got nervous and said some... Like, fucked up the wording. It kind of, like, makes sense 80%.

Yeah, only... It was, like, only...

Yeah, only... It was, like, only...

Yeah, it was just, it just didn't, it was like almost made sense. But also I was like, SNL, it was so insane. Like it was just so scary. Your whole career, your whole career, everyone says nothing is harder than SNL.

Yeah, it was just, it just didn't, it was like almost made sense. But also I was like, SNL, it was so insane. Like it was just so scary. Your whole career, your whole career, everyone says nothing is harder than SNL.

It's like, but also like that it is so live and there is no like your band is live. That's like the scariest part. It's like the movie magic. Like, girl, it's rare that you see anyone fucking playing like anything for real on TV. Like it is not most of the time for real.

It's like, but also like that it is so live and there is no like your band is live. That's like the scariest part. It's like the movie magic. Like, girl, it's rare that you see anyone fucking playing like anything for real on TV. Like it is not most of the time for real.

Because it just doesn't work like that. It works live, but not like on TV, televised. It just, the sound doesn't work that way.

Because it just doesn't work like that. It works live, but not like on TV, televised. It just, the sound doesn't work that way.

So like I was just, I was so fucking stressed. So I'm like the fact that I even performed The Giver and like made it through is amazing. No, it was so great. But I know that like it is so awesome to see like

So like I was just, I was so fucking stressed. So I'm like the fact that I even performed The Giver and like made it through is amazing. No, it was so great. But I know that like it is so awesome to see like

everyone be like where the fuck is the bridge and I'm like do you not think I tried yeah do you not think I do you not think I tried over and over and tried different sayings and tried different what the bridge was the hardest thing to figure out and like now I have like an even better idea for it live like that's the other thing is like the live shows matter just as much as the songs themselves to me yeah because that is actually like

everyone be like where the fuck is the bridge and I'm like do you not think I tried yeah do you not think I do you not think I tried over and over and tried different sayings and tried different what the bridge was the hardest thing to figure out and like now I have like an even better idea for it live like that's the other thing is like the live shows matter just as much as the songs themselves to me yeah because that is actually like

And it like... It just becomes a character in itself. Just like the live performance. Like everyone can kind of like wait for that character of the song to come out.

And it like... It just becomes a character in itself. Just like the live performance. Like everyone can kind of like wait for that character of the song to come out.

Do you know why?

Do you know why?

It's called demo-itis.

It's called demo-itis.

Demo-itis. Demo-itis.

Demo-itis. Demo-itis.

The demos. So like what happens? And this is like, this is to my detriment too. This is to every person's detriment of like, I get a demo. I hear it. I play it for my friend. And then I go back in and like work on it, play it to them again. And they're like, I just liked the other one better. And because you have demoitis, because you've like attached so much to this thing,

The demos. So like what happens? And this is like, this is to my detriment too. This is to every person's detriment of like, I get a demo. I hear it. I play it for my friend. And then I go back in and like work on it, play it to them again. And they're like, I just liked the other one better. And because you have demoitis, because you've like attached so much to this thing,

like to you attach memories like you attach all of these things to this one version of the song it's actually not as good like as the actually recorded version like straight up because the song wasn't done there was like pitchiness all over the map and like sometimes that's magic, but it's not what I want in my life. Yeah.

like to you attach memories like you attach all of these things to this one version of the song it's actually not as good like as the actually recorded version like straight up because the song wasn't done there was like pitchiness all over the map and like sometimes that's magic, but it's not what I want in my life. Yeah.

Tracks, but, or sorry, my recorded tracks, but you fall in love with what you hear first.

Tracks, but, or sorry, my recorded tracks, but you fall in love with what you hear first.

Because you hear a different version and you're just going to hate it because it's different.

Because you hear a different version and you're just going to hate it because it's different.

That's the thing. I just go into new things. I'm like expecting to hate it. It's like, hey, Kaylee, like you are going to hate this. Get past it and like look at it for what it really is. And that is how I get past to releasing how I even release music. Yeah, because it's like I'm going to hate it. Just live with it, like feel it and take a step away.

That's the thing. I just go into new things. I'm like expecting to hate it. It's like, hey, Kaylee, like you are going to hate this. Get past it and like look at it for what it really is. And that is how I get past to releasing how I even release music. Yeah, because it's like I'm going to hate it. Just live with it, like feel it and take a step away.

Yeah, because like all the people who have been living with the giver on SoundCloud or whatever, they're Of course, they're going to hate it. That is like... They're attached. They're attached. And like, just because it's different, you'll hate it. Because that's like human nature. Of course. You know? So I was not surprised.

Yeah, because like all the people who have been living with the giver on SoundCloud or whatever, they're Of course, they're going to hate it. That is like... They're attached. They're attached. And like, just because it's different, you'll hate it. Because that's like human nature. Of course. You know? So I was not surprised.

at all and people were like this doesn't sound this is losing the magic and it's like I think it has the magic I think and that's really all that matters and also like people will just get over it yeah they will because it's like it just sounds better and like for the subway you know it's just gonna feel different and different doesn't always mean bad you just have to like really take yourself out of it and be like

at all and people were like this doesn't sound this is losing the magic and it's like I think it has the magic I think and that's really all that matters and also like people will just get over it yeah they will because it's like it just sounds better and like for the subway you know it's just gonna feel different and different doesn't always mean bad you just have to like really take yourself out of it and be like

This is different and it's okay.

This is different and it's okay.

And now you have two versions.

And now you have two versions.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Or you have to perform it at all these festivals coming up. Yeah. So it's like, it's demo-itis. Just remind yourself. It's like, like I, I, there's so many TikTok songs that I've like, oh my God, this is so fun. And I didn't realize it was either a cover sped up or like something. And then I hear the original version. I'm like, oh.

Or you have to perform it at all these festivals coming up. Yeah. So it's like, it's demo-itis. Just remind yourself. It's like, like I, I, there's so many TikTok songs that I've like, oh my God, this is so fun. And I didn't realize it was either a cover sped up or like something. And then I hear the original version. I'm like, oh.

I like, yeah. And I'm like, oh, I like the TikTok one. And then I like go back and I'm like, actually, the artist put that out on purpose because it actually fits the art better.

I like, yeah. And I'm like, oh, I like the TikTok one. And then I like go back and I'm like, actually, the artist put that out on purpose because it actually fits the art better.

So I understand people were like, where is the bridge? Yeah, of course. It was probably a man who decided that. Oh, God. No, baby. I did decide that.

So I understand people were like, where is the bridge? Yeah, of course. It was probably a man who decided that. Oh, God. No, baby. I did decide that.

And also, do not forget, this is a lesbian country song. Like, this is like a big deal. Yeah. Like, this is, for me, what I've always wanted to do. So it may not be what you want.

And also, do not forget, this is a lesbian country song. Like, this is like a big deal. Yeah. Like, this is, for me, what I've always wanted to do. So it may not be what you want.

I had to stop reading.

I had to stop reading.

It's probably just chatter. No, I deleted Instagram and TikTok off my phone on Sunday because I was like… I actually like… If I want to protect my creative psyche like… Because I'm writing right now.

It's probably just chatter. No, I deleted Instagram and TikTok off my phone on Sunday because I was like… I actually like… If I want to protect my creative psyche like… Because I'm writing right now.

Nothing… I have to build a force field around it. And the things… If I want to for sure have…

Nothing… I have to build a force field around it. And the things… If I want to for sure have…

a bad day like 100% guarantee I read the comments like and I just have to remind myself you know the stove is hot let's go touch it yeah it's like okay if you want to open these you're not gonna feel good yeah so now it's just like never it's never gonna be worth it it's never worth it and like it just hurts my feelings I thought I would grow out of it hurting my feelings build a thicker skin or something yeah I thought I would become callous to it

a bad day like 100% guarantee I read the comments like and I just have to remind myself you know the stove is hot let's go touch it yeah it's like okay if you want to open these you're not gonna feel good yeah so now it's just like never it's never gonna be worth it it's never worth it and like it just hurts my feelings I thought I would grow out of it hurting my feelings build a thicker skin or something yeah I thought I would become callous to it

And sometimes I hate that I'm not callous. And then other times I'm like, actually, thank God I have feelings about people hurting my feelings. Absolutely. Because that is like sad. I don't know. Maybe I'll get there one day. Maybe I can find a healthy medium. But... I don't know. People like saying it's not about like my art anymore all of a sudden.

And sometimes I hate that I'm not callous. And then other times I'm like, actually, thank God I have feelings about people hurting my feelings. Absolutely. Because that is like sad. I don't know. Maybe I'll get there one day. Maybe I can find a healthy medium. But... I don't know. People like saying it's not about like my art anymore all of a sudden.

It's about me and how I look or how I talk or my humor. It's like that is the insufferable part all of a sudden and not like the art. And so that's what hurts my feelings. It's like when my art even... you know, like with The Giver, you are 100% allowed to judge it, hate it, love it, rip it apart, critique it. Like that is the point. Fair game. That is fair game. It's art.

It's about me and how I look or how I talk or my humor. It's like that is the insufferable part all of a sudden and not like the art. And so that's what hurts my feelings. It's like when my art even... you know, like with The Giver, you are 100% allowed to judge it, hate it, love it, rip it apart, critique it. Like that is the point. Fair game. That is fair game. It's art.

I think like everything else, I'm like, that's outside of my art and performance. Same with performance. Critique it. Like that is visual art. visually, like, critique my fashion. That's fine. It's just when it comes to... Your personality. My personality and, like, my mistakes that I make in public, it's, like, it is ruthless. They're not mistakes.

I think like everything else, I'm like, that's outside of my art and performance. Same with performance. Critique it. Like that is visual art. visually, like, critique my fashion. That's fine. It's just when it comes to... Your personality. My personality and, like, my mistakes that I make in public, it's, like, it is ruthless. They're not mistakes.

Oh, it's different now.

Oh, it's different now.

Do you feel that? Do you guys feel that way?

Do you feel that? Do you guys feel that way?

No, but every level.

No, but every level.

Is a level. Every level is a level.

Is a level. Every level is a level.

Creatively, The Artist's Way, I don't know if you've heard of that. That book taught me how to protect my creativity and like how to be really treat myself really well and be really gentle with myself. I'm really good at respecting my artistry. What I am not good at is respecting like my feelings outside of artistry.

Creatively, The Artist's Way, I don't know if you've heard of that. That book taught me how to protect my creativity and like how to be really treat myself really well and be really gentle with myself. I'm really good at respecting my artistry. What I am not good at is respecting like my feelings outside of artistry.

like it's so interesting i'm like very good at being gentle with like my critiques on myself and like letting things you know it's not going to be great the first time you may have to like water it and watch it grow um but when it comes to like me making a mistake in life it's like that's when i'm not good at like giving myself some grace or just like whatever so my creativity is very um

like it's so interesting i'm like very good at being gentle with like my critiques on myself and like letting things you know it's not going to be great the first time you may have to like water it and watch it grow um but when it comes to like me making a mistake in life it's like that's when i'm not good at like giving myself some grace or just like whatever so my creativity is very um

She's sacred and healthy. Like I just spent the whole last week doing writing and I wrote some songs I really love. And like, that's, that is magic. The fact that I could do that amidst like the past year and the fact that I can't like do a lot of things like I used to normally and like feel normal. Yeah. That's great. That's awesome. It worked.

She's sacred and healthy. Like I just spent the whole last week doing writing and I wrote some songs I really love. And like, that's, that is magic. The fact that I could do that amidst like the past year and the fact that I can't like do a lot of things like I used to normally and like feel normal. Yeah. That's great. That's awesome. It worked.

Like, it's just when it comes to like my self-confidence or comments or like, you know, just saying something I didn't mean or whatever, how that's how like when I'm really hard on myself. Right.

Like, it's just when it comes to like my self-confidence or comments or like, you know, just saying something I didn't mean or whatever, how that's how like when I'm really hard on myself. Right.

Yeah. You know? And art is like, for me, I'm such, I do have a thick skin around like my art. It's really hard to see something you see online and be like, oh, maybe that's supposed to be funny.

Yeah. You know? And art is like, for me, I'm such, I do have a thick skin around like my art. It's really hard to see something you see online and be like, oh, maybe that's supposed to be funny.

right but everyone's like that's serious yeah that's actually fucked up and it's like huh maybe um it's just not one about you or two serious like well can we talk about also like when people were dragging you for doing your mudang thing and then i was like i was like i bet she thinks it's funny i did yeah i didn't feel anything sasha and i sasha colby and i were talking you know and i was just like i mean yeah everyone's mad i was like

right but everyone's like that's serious yeah that's actually fucked up and it's like huh maybe um it's just not one about you or two serious like well can we talk about also like when people were dragging you for doing your mudang thing and then i was like i was like i bet she thinks it's funny i did yeah i didn't feel anything sasha and i sasha colby and i were talking you know and i was just like i mean yeah everyone's mad i was like

I'm like, people don't have to get mad on my behalf.

I'm like, people don't have to get mad on my behalf.

But we're fine.

But we're fine.

So what is there to be mad about? Also, this is what happens. Like, that is SNL. It's comedy. Yeah. Like, it is so lighthearted. It was like, to me, harmless. Oh my God. And for people to, even if you were to push it further, harmless. Yeah. It's like, it's comedy. I don't understand. Like, I just don't know the line anymore.

So what is there to be mad about? Also, this is what happens. Like, that is SNL. It's comedy. Yeah. Like, it is so lighthearted. It was like, to me, harmless. Oh my God. And for people to, even if you were to push it further, harmless. Yeah. It's like, it's comedy. I don't understand. Like, I just don't know the line anymore.

Nothing's funny.

Nothing's funny.

Even if like, even if you didn't like think the mooding sketch was funny or anything, you don't have to say anything.

Even if like, even if you didn't like think the mooding sketch was funny or anything, you don't have to say anything.

Like you don't, you can always not say something.

Like you don't, you can always not say something.

And you know what? People sticking up for me in that situation or not sticking up for me made me feel no different. So I didn't feel protected and I didn't feel unprotected. So because I didn't need it either way.

And you know what? People sticking up for me in that situation or not sticking up for me made me feel no different. So I didn't feel protected and I didn't feel unprotected. So because I didn't need it either way.

Because I was not offended.

Because I was not offended.

Okay, I didn't know what service topping was.

Okay, I didn't know what service topping was.

I read an article. You read an article. And to me, is it like stone top?

I read an article. You read an article. And to me, is it like stone top?

I don't understand. Okay. I mean, I... That's why I ask if it's kinky. Because it's like... This may not make me like I may not understand this pleasure thing for you, but I'm going to do it anyway. Because like you like to be dominated or something or like whatever. But to me, like I just thought that's how sex work.

I don't understand. Okay. I mean, I... That's why I ask if it's kinky. Because it's like... This may not make me like I may not understand this pleasure thing for you, but I'm going to do it anyway. Because like you like to be dominated or something or like whatever. But to me, like I just thought that's how sex work.

That just means I want to do things that make you feel good. I will do things. I will just give my time.

That just means I want to do things that make you feel good. I will do things. I will just give my time.

We're lost. Maybe I'm lost too.

We're lost. Maybe I'm lost too.

Okay, good.

Okay, good.

I think maybe I just like, so take it like a taker. I wasn't really like actually thinking about anything. That's amazing. I was just like, oh, that's fun.

I think maybe I just like, so take it like a taker. I wasn't really like actually thinking about anything. That's amazing. I was just like, oh, that's fun.

Cause a giver and a taker. Yeah. Take it like a taker. Like that's literally where my mind went. But when I saw the article about like service tops and whatever, um, I was just like, cool. Did not know that existed. Wasn't the intention. Like, I just liked... I do love that about pop culture is that they will make something out of nothing. You know what I mean?

Cause a giver and a taker. Yeah. Take it like a taker. Like that's literally where my mind went. But when I saw the article about like service tops and whatever, um, I was just like, cool. Did not know that existed. Wasn't the intention. Like, I just liked... I do love that about pop culture is that they will make something out of nothing. You know what I mean?

Like, they made this... People will make, like, this entire outline of, like, what each...

Like, they made this... People will make, like, this entire outline of, like, what each...

Yeah, like what each character I played means in like the lesbian community. And I literally was like, don't know what you're talking about. I just wanted to wear a blazer. I wanted to hold a plunger.

Yeah, like what each character I played means in like the lesbian community. And I literally was like, don't know what you're talking about. I just wanted to wear a blazer. I wanted to hold a plunger.

I thought that was like the point of sex. It is. Like for me, I give you pleasure and that gives me pleasure.

I thought that was like the point of sex. It is. Like for me, I give you pleasure and that gives me pleasure.

But it, you know.

But it, you know.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, that is why, that is my experience when I hooked up with men.

I mean, that is why, that is my experience when I hooked up with men.

That's how I knew I was gay.

That's how I knew I was gay.

No, I just felt so performative.

No, I just felt so performative.

And like, so, like, I just did what I thought they wanted, even if it didn't feel good. And maybe that's what, to me, when I'm like, okay, service top, is that... It's like another role. Do you want to do service even if you don't want to?

And like, so, like, I just did what I thought they wanted, even if it didn't feel good. And maybe that's what, to me, when I'm like, okay, service top, is that... It's like another role. Do you want to do service even if you don't want to?

I don't know. Like, I just want to do what my partner makes them feel good. And when I make them feel good, that makes me feel good.

I don't know. Like, I just want to do what my partner makes them feel good. And when I make them feel good, that makes me feel good.

So I think I would not really know what to do if someone I was hooking up with was only stone top. I don't think I would really know what to do because I would want to do something for them.

So I think I would not really know what to do if someone I was hooking up with was only stone top. I don't think I would really know what to do because I would want to do something for them.

You have something in your ass. You're going to feel that.

You have something in your ass. You're going to feel that.

Yeah. That is so real. It's so nice when there's a label that fits you perfectly.

Yeah. That is so real. It's so nice when there's a label that fits you perfectly.

Because that makes you be like… Like when I... What is the one that is where you only are sexually attracted to people that you're friends with? It's like... I don't know that. It's like you have to have a really strong relationship to feel like you want to hook up with them.

Because that makes you be like… Like when I... What is the one that is where you only are sexually attracted to people that you're friends with? It's like... I don't know that. It's like you have to have a really strong relationship to feel like you want to hook up with them.

It's also friendship. Is it demisexual? What is it? I don't know.

It's also friendship. Is it demisexual? What is it? I don't know.

But when I heard about that, I was like, oh, that makes sense to me. Like, I can't, I don't want to just hook up with people I just met. Like, that is why I'm so uncomfortable when I'm hit on.

But when I heard about that, I was like, oh, that makes sense to me. Like, I can't, I don't want to just hook up with people I just met. Like, that is why I'm so uncomfortable when I'm hit on.

Like, because I'm like, I don't know you.

Like, because I'm like, I don't know you.

And that is why I get myself in trouble and date my friends. And then, like, you know what I mean? That is always what happens. And so, like, that's why I'm so, it's such a turnoff when people, like, are so bold at the beginning. Yeah. Because I'm like, I don't know.

And that is why I get myself in trouble and date my friends. And then, like, you know what I mean? That is always what happens. And so, like, that's why I'm so, it's such a turnoff when people, like, are so bold at the beginning. Yeah. Because I'm like, I don't know.

Motherfucker. Where'd you read that? Next. Think of something smarter.

Motherfucker. Where'd you read that? Next. Think of something smarter.

Oh, you're talking about, like, people that research things about you.

Oh, you're talking about, like, people that research things about you.

That, no, I was thinking of, like,

That, no, I was thinking of, like,

people that can't you can't just google like whatever i guess like for me that's like gone and probably like for you like get people it's harder it's gone like people can like kind of guess what you might like and like like manipulate a sentence that maybe would work best for you because they know you yeah yeah but like a regular bar i'm always you know before i guess

people that can't you can't just google like whatever i guess like for me that's like gone and probably like for you like get people it's harder it's gone like people can like kind of guess what you might like and like like manipulate a sentence that maybe would work best for you because they know you yeah yeah but like a regular bar i'm always you know before i guess

Before last year. If I like had a pickup line, I'd be like, that's, I can only laugh.

Before last year. If I like had a pickup line, I'd be like, that's, I can only laugh.

Because I'm just like, but they had to try. You know what?

Because I'm just like, but they had to try. You know what?

Do you feel like if people know who you are, it's like a turn-off, turn-on, or... Just be honest.

Do you feel like if people know who you are, it's like a turn-off, turn-on, or... Just be honest.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It just depends. It does depend. But I'm very weary if someone knows who... If someone is a fan and... I like... Have hit on them or something. And like... Started like a relationship with them. And I did not know they were a fan. That is scary to me. Yeah. Because I'm... Because I feel embarrassed. And also I'm like... I don't trust you. And like... Are you screenshotting everything we're saying?

It just depends. It does depend. But I'm very weary if someone knows who... If someone is a fan and... I like... Have hit on them or something. And like... Started like a relationship with them. And I did not know they were a fan. That is scary to me. Yeah. Because I'm... Because I feel embarrassed. And also I'm like... I don't trust you. And like... Are you screenshotting everything we're saying?

Are you... I just get really... I've become so paranoid about that stuff. Like... Girl, I'll just talk like this all the time because those freaking lip readers.

Are you... I just get really... I've become so paranoid about that stuff. Like... Girl, I'll just talk like this all the time because those freaking lip readers.

It's like... Which, God bless the lip readers. We need those girls.

It's like... Which, God bless the lip readers. We need those girls.

But like... They ain't right all the time.

But like... They ain't right all the time.

Because they want so bad to catch you. That's the only reason. They just want to fucking catch you.

Because they want so bad to catch you. That's the only reason. They just want to fucking catch you.

That's what I'm thinking about always. I'm just like, yeah, I have to think about all the time. I won't win. It's not that I can or can't win. I won't.

That's what I'm thinking about always. I'm just like, yeah, I have to think about all the time. I won't win. It's not that I can or can't win. I won't.

Like no matter what.

Like no matter what.

I will not win this.

I will not win this.

But also it's like, I'm not customer service and it's everyone else's expectation, like against my entire humanity. Like it's so crazy.

But also it's like, I'm not customer service and it's everyone else's expectation, like against my entire humanity. Like it's so crazy.

But it's not their fault. It's like, that's how celebrity culture is where we find our happiness, our like depths of hell. And for the first time, your comment matters.

But it's not their fault. It's like, that's how celebrity culture is where we find our happiness, our like depths of hell. And for the first time, your comment matters.

For the first time, something you say, people notice. And that's why the big comments are all mean. Because for the first time, your voice matters in a country where you've been told that you never will matter. So that's why I think the psychology, just my personal psychology around why people hate celebrities online.

For the first time, something you say, people notice. And that's why the big comments are all mean. Because for the first time, your voice matters in a country where you've been told that you never will matter. So that's why I think the psychology, just my personal psychology around why people hate celebrities online.

That's like why the biggest, all you look at the comments, the biggest ones are the meanest.

That's like why the biggest, all you look at the comments, the biggest ones are the meanest.

Because finally, finally, finally, finally, something you say is validated.

Because finally, finally, finally, finally, something you say is validated.

After all this time, after you feeling so helpless, after everyone turning you down and saying that you don't matter, the mean parts of you do online. And so like, I don't blame people. Of course they're going to hate. It's like all that there is left.

After all this time, after you feeling so helpless, after everyone turning you down and saying that you don't matter, the mean parts of you do online. And so like, I don't blame people. Of course they're going to hate. It's like all that there is left.

And… the meaner you are, like, the more attention you get. Right.

And… the meaner you are, like, the more attention you get. Right.

A comment section.

A comment section.

That's the other thing. It doesn't get you past the comics. Like, it's not like it's giving you a fucking job. It's not like it's getting you respect. It's not like it's getting you, like, friends.

That's the other thing. It doesn't get you past the comics. Like, it's not like it's giving you a fucking job. It's not like it's getting you respect. It's not like it's getting you, like, friends.

It is.

It is.

I'm really glad that guinea pigs have their own culture online because I'm a guinea pig girl.

I'm really glad that guinea pigs have their own culture online because I'm a guinea pig girl.

Yeah, no, a lot of people don't know that about them.

Yeah, no, a lot of people don't know that about them.

Oh, yeah, in the background, yes. Oh, we noticed. Yes, the guinea pigs were back there.

Oh, yeah, in the background, yes. Oh, we noticed. Yes, the guinea pigs were back there.

Well, I'm just obsessed with them. I had four at a time, but they passed away. They do that. But I am obsessed with them. I think they're the cutest animals on earth. They're good. I worked at a guinea. I volunteered at a guinea pig rescue for a year. I love rodents in general. And I love the guinea pig community online is awesome. I love that community.

Well, I'm just obsessed with them. I had four at a time, but they passed away. They do that. But I am obsessed with them. I think they're the cutest animals on earth. They're good. I worked at a guinea. I volunteered at a guinea pig rescue for a year. I love rodents in general. And I love the guinea pig community online is awesome. I love that community.

I think the culture in like all seriousness that made me feel like me was drag. Yes. At first, I was very freaked out by drag. I was like... I was like the Clutch the Pearls girl.

I think the culture in like all seriousness that made me feel like me was drag. Yes. At first, I was very freaked out by drag. I was like... I was like the Clutch the Pearls girl.

I've never... The first time I went to a drag show, I was... 17 or 18. And it was Hamburger Mary's. And I was like, oh my God, why do they keep saying anus? That's disgusting.

I've never... The first time I went to a drag show, I was... 17 or 18. And it was Hamburger Mary's. And I was like, oh my God, why do they keep saying anus? That's disgusting.

I was laughing really, really hard. I was like, that is... That makes sense. Like that is so funny.

I was laughing really, really hard. I was like, that is... That makes sense. Like that is so funny.

And I was like, I just went, I was like... That was so fun, but why did they have to just make everything so dirty?

And I was like, I just went, I was like... That was so fun, but why did they have to just make everything so dirty?

Yeah, yes. And I was like, what the hell? And then I just got addicted to it. So, and that has taken like a long time.

Yeah, yes. And I was like, what the hell? And then I just got addicted to it. So, and that has taken like a long time.

Like that is in my, actually in my blood now. And like to realize all of that, how it freaked me out at first was really just me not having any gay culture at all expressed in my life whatsoever. So like, and there was no sarcasm like that. There was no, like, I had no idea who John Waters was.

Like that is in my, actually in my blood now. And like to realize all of that, how it freaked me out at first was really just me not having any gay culture at all expressed in my life whatsoever. So like, and there was no sarcasm like that. There was no, like, I had no idea who John Waters was.

Like, and like, it was so cool to like see a whole community of people being gross on purpose for the sake of being, for the sake of pearl clutching. Yes, yes, yes. Like, that is amazing to me. I love tackiness. I fucking love bad hair. I love bad style. I love camel toe. I love... I love, love, love a bad dye job. I love roots.

Like, and like, it was so cool to like see a whole community of people being gross on purpose for the sake of being, for the sake of pearl clutching. Yes, yes, yes. Like, that is amazing to me. I love tackiness. I fucking love bad hair. I love bad style. I love camel toe. I love... I love, love, love a bad dye job. I love roots.

I love, like... I fucking love when people get their teeth knocked out. I love, like... I love that shit. One nip slip. Yeah. Give me a nip slip. That's the least you could do. Like, so that culture of like trashy on purpose is so freeing to me.

I love, like... I fucking love when people get their teeth knocked out. I love, like... I love that shit. One nip slip. Yeah. Give me a nip slip. That's the least you could do. Like, so that culture of like trashy on purpose is so freeing to me.

I love that and the guinea pig culture. And I also really appreciate the two girls, don't remember the names, who also believed in fairies with me. Oh. I love the fairy culture. I think that they're real maybe. I don't, I'm just going to say that. And I really appreciate the fairy culture because fairies make me happy. And I lied to everyone that I saw them.

I love that and the guinea pig culture. And I also really appreciate the two girls, don't remember the names, who also believed in fairies with me. Oh. I love the fairy culture. I think that they're real maybe. I don't, I'm just going to say that. And I really appreciate the fairy culture because fairies make me happy. And I lied to everyone that I saw them.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I like, you know, I love that. I love that. Also, there's been a real awakening, which I grew up on the Barbie movies, like the crazy animated ones.

I like, you know, I love that. I love that. Also, there's been a real awakening, which I grew up on the Barbie movies, like the crazy animated ones.

I saw a compilation the other day of the Barbie animals of the, how fucking crazy it was. And like Barbie raised me.

I saw a compilation the other day of the Barbie animals of the, how fucking crazy it was. And like Barbie raised me.

Barbie fairytopia. And that is where Bibble came from. And Bibble is basically a flying guinea pig.

Barbie fairytopia. And that is where Bibble came from. And Bibble is basically a flying guinea pig.

I usually, I would say yes. Fairies visit me. But I think like the way I write now is from like, I take things that are really fucked up and then make it really like, I don't know. Like it's the same with like the subway. The lyrics are usually always darker. Right. And they become like very, very dark. And then they become like light.

I usually, I would say yes. Fairies visit me. But I think like the way I write now is from like, I take things that are really fucked up and then make it really like, I don't know. Like it's the same with like the subway. The lyrics are usually always darker. Right. And they become like very, very dark. And then they become like light.

I didn't expect that. I like literally casual was the biggest bitch to get done.