Chad Goller-Sojourner
Appearances
Nobody Should Believe Me
S05 Ep01: Sophie Saves Zambia
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Nobody Should Believe Me
S05 Ep01: Sophie Saves Zambia
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Nobody Should Believe Me
S05 Ep01: Sophie Saves Zambia
So I think one of the misconceptions is that the white parent knows more. Think about that way. We have this weird way about adoption, especially transracial adoptees, is this narrative that the adoptee should be grateful. Some home is better than no home. How dare you not be grateful? You know, in this, you know, I remember the whole, what was it?
Nobody Should Believe Me
S05 Ep01: Sophie Saves Zambia
The Sally Struthers ads with the kids and the flies and all that. Even that mentality. And the fact is, that's not right. And the fact is that you have to put in more energy and time. So one thing I did when I did consulting is that somebody's going to be uncomfortable. It's just how life is. And if the parent is not feeling comfortable, you can assume that the child is uncomfortable.
Nobody Should Believe Me
S05 Ep01: Sophie Saves Zambia
For transracial adoptees, especially with adopting black kids, is you have to prepare them to enter into the world they're going to live in.
Nobody Should Believe Me
S05 Ep01: Sophie Saves Zambia
I think one reason that people benefit from international adoption is because it's harder for you to cut the kid away. So there's no three days. You can't take him back. It's less likely this kid's going to be taken from you.
Nobody Should Believe Me
S05 Ep01: Sophie Saves Zambia
So first of all, as somebody who's been running with Jesus since the Carter administration, I would tell you that God will never tell an 18-year-old to go 6,000 miles to get a child. He might say, go down to the soup kitchen, go mow the guy's lawn. So I think the problem with international adoption, for a couple reasons, is you have no idea. First of all, you don't know what you're going to get.
Nobody Should Believe Me
S05 Ep01: Sophie Saves Zambia
I don't mean that, you know. You're going to a place where you don't know local currency, you can't spell, you can't find it on a map. I can't imply, I'm not saying I'm, but I'm not going to Zambia to get a kid. There's all these different things, you know, nothing with history, and you want to take a kid and remove them. Just erase that part, which is very bold and brash.
Nobody Should Believe Me
S05 Ep01: Sophie Saves Zambia
It just seems like, who, like, where, like, where is that biblical? You know, the Bible talks about God helping widows and orphans. He doesn't, like, talk about just removing them.
Nobody Should Believe Me
S05 Ep01: Sophie Saves Zambia
I mean, the playing fairs, all the money, all the stuff that goes into these. Of course, it's like, why? It goes back to why. My other concern about transracial international adoptions, I just have this theme that kids should be able to put their feet on the soil. So my thing is, are you taking the kid back? When are they going back? Because it's always interesting, oh, we can't afford it.
Nobody Should Believe Me
S05 Ep01: Sophie Saves Zambia
Well, you afforded it the first time. You know, you went to Ethiopia to get the kid, but now you can never afford to go back. So I think, I mean, I don't want to speak just totally disparaging about it, but I think there's, you know, a lot of stuff there that is still doesn't make sense.
Nobody Should Believe Me
S05 Ep01: Sophie Saves Zambia
I think when you're looking at, you know, this whole concept of, I don't want to use the word white nationalism the way, you know, we all think, but there is this white savior complex.