Catt Sadler
Appearances
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
Mm hmm. Yeah. Well, and to your point, luckily for me, the procedural formalities of divorce, that was the easy part. Like that was really clean. And I know a lot of people who aren't as lucky who, I mean, I hear some stories and I'm sure, you know, some stories that can be really, really, really harrowing for people.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
So, so the whole thing was emotional, really, you know, I had mostly, it was my kids, my kids, my kids, I, they were six and two at the time. And again, I I think I had had a rocky experience personally as a child. My parents, my biological mother and father, just, you know, they were angry at each other for years. And so... I just didn't want them to have a similar experience growing up.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
I wanted their birthday parties to be fun. I didn't want there to be animosity or bitterness. So at first I had to make that kind of decision. And luckily with Kyle, right away, that was the one thing we agreed on. Listen, we had some things we had to work through and there was some therapy involved and that kind of thing. But the one thing we definitely agreed on was
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
We're going to do this differently. And eventually we're going to have to figure out our co-parenting situation. We're going to have to figure out how that looks. But no matter what, it's a kid's first approach.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
And so even though, of course, the unsettled feeling, those emotions of the uncertainty of your future and what your family is going to look like and worrying about kids and worrying how they're going to adapt to the back and forth and all of these things that play into parenting.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
the transition you know there wasn't a day that went by that didn't invoke some kind of emotion so that's going on as the mother you're just really wanting to protect your kids and make sure that they will be okay through something like this and mine were quite young i mean that really stung looking back it's still just it's like oh he was two orion was two i was two when my parents divorced so it's like oh man are we repeating a a cycle here is this a pattern and so
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
Again, you have to really forgive yourself, I think, for maybe not meeting a certain kind of standard that you think that you're supposed to set for yourself. And then the other difficult part of my divorce was that I was on TV every single day. I was on set every single day and you're interviewing people and you're on.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
I mean, as if you're on stage on Broadway, you're presenting yourself to the world and And I always think back about that time. In many ways, that's what saved me because I didn't really have the option to like not leave my house and stay in bed all day and drink a bottle of wine or whatever to just get through those hard times. I had to keep going.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
But at the same time, that can often delay your grieving process, you know, because you're kind of just going through these motions. And that's what I was doing at the time. Yeah. But still, I think it served me in a good way. I mean, I was able to soldier on through the pain, through the divorce, through all the nitty gritty, because I had a job that I loved that I didn't get to just eject from.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
And I have the love of my kids that were nearby and that I do everything for. So yeah, you know what? I got through it. You live through it. Hard times, they come and they go. And time is a great healer. And we got to the other side of it.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
Without question, the thing that stands out that completely has allowed for a letting go and a healing and becoming whole again after that really difficult time was not just saying that we were gonna co-parent, but really walking the walk in a beautiful way. I mean, Kyle and I, to this day, now our kids are just turned 20 and turning 24 next week.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
And we're not only good friends who respect each other, but now his wife, who he married only a couple of years after we divorced. So she's been step-mom to my boys for decades. I like to say that we consciously uncoupled before Gwyneth and Chris Martin made it a thing because it was about the same time and it was very much the same approach. It's like...
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
God, we've seen how this can go and we know how it can be. And who does it hurt? It's, it hurts the kids. It's poisonous to hold onto that anger and be contentious. And it's just, it serves no one. And so it wasn't the flip of a switch, but it was definitely baby steps in that first year where it's, you know, it's still a little awkward.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
It's still, of course, like the, the pain is still new and it's difficult, but we were always, always communicating the best we could. We were kind as much as we could be. When other partners came into the mix, there was a real respect level there. And I'll give you an example of that because we had been divorced about a year and Kyle had met Sarah, his now wife, and there was a birthday party.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
And I remember he called me again, the respect. I mean, God, I feel so fortunate because I know a lot of women don't have this and or men, but it's like, He called me and he said, I have met someone we've been dating for six months or whatever it was. And I'd really like to bring her to Austin's party. Are you okay with that?
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
And, you know, you can imagine it's like the first, you know, anybody that's not you. And mind you, we'd been together for 12 years. We were college sweethearts. We'd had, you know, we were so close and yeah. And I just was immediately like, thanks for asking. And sure, that's fine. Bring her to the party. And of course, all my girlfriends are like, oh, what? Oh my gosh, who is she?
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
What's her name? All these things. But I was like, we're moving forward. I mean, I think I luckily had enough emotional intelligence even back then to be like, if we're moving on, what's the past is the past. We're all moving towards our futures. And she could not have been happier better at that party. She came up to me during the cake cutting and literally said, is there anything you need?
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
Can I help? And I said, yeah, I'm going to cut the cake and you can scoop the ice cream. And it literally started like that. And we're friends to this day. We even have a working relationship. And so I think the healing was possible because there really was still aversion of love there.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
I mean, it wasn't romantic love anymore and that had ended, but there was love and respect for the mother and father of our kids. And we just set a precedent with anybody who was going to come into our lives that if you can't get on this same page, then you're probably not going to be a part of this family. And it's worked. It's really, really worked.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
And again, I know that it's rare, but I feel so, so fortunate. I am just here to tell the story that it is possible. It really, really is possible.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
I mean, I keep coming back to the children, but it really was, it was about them. You know, I was afraid that they would feel like they were part of something broken and I definitely had some fear when I started dating again also. I think I had work to do on finally putting to bed some of my own childhood wounds and then having a failed marriage, which I hate to even call it that.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
I keep trying to call it something else, a marriage that ended. Because it was a lesson. I mean, it really was. Let's bring it back to the first story. It's like, Kyle came into my life. All of this is just part of my own learning that I'm going to continue to do throughout my lifetime. I'm an eternal student. And that was, that was a major, major lesson for me to learn.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
But of course those fears were real. And so when I was dating Kyle, I don't think I had a lot of faith in men there for a while. You know, I've had to kind of learn that a few times since probably. I hear that. Yeah. I think we carry that as women often, if you've ever been burnt at all. And not even burn. I'm not even saying, like, I'll burn me.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
But, like, when things don't go as you planned or how you dreamed or you're ever disappointed in any kind of way or let down by someone, that can be really, really hard to put your heart out there again and believe in love again, as cliche as that sounds. Yeah. I think I had that fear for a while also.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
Well, I learned that I would still know how to kiss another man other than my husband. That was the first thing, because I don't, I've heard other women say this. Like if you're with someone for so long, my first fear was like, am I, it's, is it my pride in the body? I don't even know. These lips haven't touched anybody else's lips for like a decade plus. I hope I know how to do that. But I did.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
That came right back. But man, you know, I don't really think I allowed myself any real like journey of self. Until my kids got older, honestly, I was so busy with my career. I mean, that is really the truth of it is that that was the season. And I look back now and I'm like, how did I do that? I was a single mom. It was like 50 hours a week of work.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
It's high pressure and traveling the world, being on red carpets, like everything. interviewing these A-list celebrities, like the pressure, immense pressure work-wise and crazy hours and weekends and all these things. And then two kids at home and juggling that and figuring out how you're gonna get them to school and how you're gonna make it to your interview on time.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
And I mean, and then missing things and missing doctor's appointments and occasions at school and these kinds of things. So I was just in a real season of pulling it all off. I mean, really, I wasn't even, working out. I wasn't consistently, I mean, I am night and day different today than I was then.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
And I understand why I hear from a lot of women who I talk with on my podcast about just like, where's the time? You know, we're always like, you see the jokes now on social media and people are like, there's so much to do and so much to think about and what you're eating and what you're putting in your body and how you're choosing and what you're shopping for and how, you know,
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
getting your kids all exposed to all the things and then you know all the emails from the school like it was literally all of that so i wasn't like going on retreats around the world and like trying anything new i was just staying above water my big philosophy at the time i actually have a tattoo on my wrist my big philosophy through that really demanding time in my life was be in the moment.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
That's how I justified being away from my kids when I had to work and being with my kids when I was, was I was really practicing being present. And when I was with my kids, I was like on the floor, eye to eye with my kids. And when I was at work, I had a job to do and I had to not feel guilty about that. And so I was able to navigate that with just the practice of trying to always be in the moment.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
And that did serve me. It really got me through those wild, wild moments. years and now that I am an empty nester bar I have four kids step they're not I'm not married to my partner but it's like we are and we he has four kids so now I'm back to little kids in my life but until just recently I was an empty nester and so in these past couple years I've
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
That's really when I've been able to do that kind of exploration of self and go on these adventures or go on these retreats around the world and trying my hot yoga and working out consistently. And I'm just so turned on by becoming the best version of myself and experiencing life at an optimal level. And so, you know, I think that's the nature of life for all of us.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
You know, you can't be all the things all the time and there are different seasons that come your way. And I'm really enjoying this time in my life to actually go in a little bit and be more introspective and do those kinds of things for myself. It's a really great feeling. It's one of the best things about getting older. I tell everybody that I'm like, it's actually kind of awesome.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
Yes, and it's especially hard for mothers, women with kids your age. I know it's so, so hard. So much is asked of us all of the time. And the thing is, we're so good at doing it. We're so capable of multitasking and doing all the things and being in all the places. But yes, I just think if you can really ground yourself and train your mind and have that mindset to just...
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
be in that moment, turn on all your senses. Like you're, you, you're, you're getting your diaper. Like, you know, they smell so good. Not the diapers, but the babies. Um, but like really leaning into those moments. I mean, all we really have, I mean, that's the name of my podcast for God's sakes. I mean, cat Sadler. Now it's really about the moment and it's all that is promised.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
It's all that there really ever is. Even the past, we were in the now then. So it's, So get comfortable there.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
Not that I can remember. You know what? It probably is, Pam, as it was so long ago that I'm like, the old brain fog is here and I can't really remember what everybody was thinking at the time. Again, I also think that part of that is because, again, so much is required from us to just get through our days, especially if you have...
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
people, humans that are depending on you, like that's where my focus was. And maybe that was a great thing because I wasn't distracted by opinions or, I mean, listen, I mean, I suppose that now thinking back, because I was on TV and a public person to some degree, it was newsworthy even, I guess, you know, that... Oh, now she's divorced.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
Like it's always a hyphenate or it's always something that like follows me now. And, but look, I'm here talking with you about it in a, in a way that I hope is positive. So it's not all bad, but I guess that is the difference when there's a Wikipedia page or whatever that lists your whole life and your partners and all the things that's like going to follow you around forever, which it does.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
And, and, and now I've got that cemented in history forever that I have been divorced. I remember posting, I was talking with one of my guests on my show and And we posted a clip on TikTok and it was about, we were talking about exes.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
And I had said something like, well, with my second husband and like the comments, like people who, you know, didn't know me or whatever, like, can you imagine my second husband? Like they were all just like, you know, trolling me forever. And I was like, that's okay. I mean, I think honestly, again, when I was in my twenties starting out in television and people started saying,
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
having opinions long before social media and they would write an email to my television station and say horrible things about how bad my hair was or what an ugly shirt I had on or whatever. Like, you know, they hated my voice or whatever it was. Don't get me wrong. It crushed me. I mean, I was young. I was impressionable.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
I was just starting out in my career and those kinds of things would totally devastate me. But the great thing about having a broadcasting career or having people who know who you are or whatever, I'm so used to people just talking shit for lack of a better way to say it, that it's, I, you grow a thick skin and it's actually great because you learn to just deflect all that.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
And you realize how it's like none of your business, what other people say about you. And so I'm sure that that was in there somewhere where with even the divorce and people's thoughts or opinions, it's like, And I knew that at the core, my intention was still all love, even in a divorce to stay friends with my ex and pour into my kids. And so nobody can take that away from me.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
I have a wonderful family. My mom and I have always been very close. She was really comforting during those times. My sister as well is one of my dearest friends. So when I was going through divorce, she was definitely on speed dial and I did have a close knit group of friends. So that was invaluable for sure. Talking about my feelings and,
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
And I will say for anyone who's been through divorce knows this, you actually do have some time because your kids for most traditionally are spending some times with their mom or sometimes with their dad. So I did have periods of time where I was able to just be social and let my hair down. I mean, I remember doing that.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
I wasn't spending my time when the kids were at Kyle's doing anything really deeply cool, but I was having fun. I remember I was trying to have fun because I wanted joy in my life. So I would travel or I'd go on trips with my friend, my girlfriends or whatever. A weekend in Vegas, like literally. So that was for me to feel alive and feel okay and feel like myself.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
Those were really important times. And I think that people should feel okay doing that.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
The way that I think about relationships has changed over time for sure. I don't know that it was divorce that really contributed to that. I mean, I've been married twice and I have had a handful of other serious relationships since. And those relationships actually have the biggest significance on how I now approach relationships because I had some really bad ones.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
And it's odd that my marriages ended in like, you know, nothing absolutely catastrophic happened. It was just like, it was like letting go in love and like, we can be friends. There's still respect there. This has run its course. We really did try, but it just wasn't going to work out. And then I had some, some relationships after that in my forties that were the worst relationships of my life.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
And so I, We'd be here all day if I told you the psychology of all that and all the reasons why I think that happened. But it was my worst relationship. And by worst, I mean just unhealthy, really, really unhealthy. That... profoundly changed the way that I regard love and healthy love and romantic adult love and how it's supposed to be.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
It took me a long time to get there because like I said, you know, my mom was married multiple times. I had then had a couple marriages. I just don't think I ever really had this healthy love model to me. The kind of love that's safe, the kind of love that's secure, the kind of love where you can trust someone, the kind of love where there's open communication.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
A lot of those pieces were missing in my more recent relationships. And it took me being very, very mistreated, betrayed, deceit, the whole thing. A very toxic relationship that basically just cued my rock bottom ever. And... I had to just go on a real journey and it was during the pandemic and I couldn't go meet my friends out. I couldn't go travel it away.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
I couldn't go to the bars, you know, whatever it was that would make me like numb out and not feel the pain. And so I had to. I had to figure out what my part in that really bad relationship was and why I was allowing that kind of treatment and why I kept signing back up again and again for that kind of treatment and re-examine my own self-worth.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
And so when I decided that to go on that journey and then do some intensive therapy and and be alone and not date at all, finally, I had, that's when I had a real transformation and my real healing journey began.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
So it took me decades of trying to navigate relationships, not really knowing what it was that I had to work on for myself to summon in the kind of partner that I would really want for my life. And whoo, We finally got there. We finally got there. So I, it's a, it's a, it's work. It's being honest with yourself. It's choosing your... It's self-love.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
It's consistently showing up for yourself and being the person that you deserve to be for yourself. And then it's funny how when you get that right, then you attract a like person as your partner. And that's the situation I'm in today with Greg.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
It was a lot of things. And I'm so grateful that I had support. I had really good friends that I could, would talk me off the ledge. Often the people that love us see it so clearly. And if you're in that kind of really unhealthy situation, there is a type of emotional abuse and brainwashing that happens where you are a shell of your former self.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
I mean, it's like you were just talking, you see these types of cases all the time and everybody else is like, well, why wouldn't she leave? Like, what is she sticking around for? And you don't operate like who you used to. And so that's the whole grooming process is to make you off off kilter and to stop trusting yourself.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
And so when you lose the trust of yourself, you're not making the kind of decisions that the healthy whole you would be making. And so it's a really slippery slope and a dangerous place to be in. But luckily I had friends who would tell me, tell it like it is. And yeah, not let me call back or not let me text back and hold me accountable. And if I thought I was gonna, they'd help me out.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
And it is like an addiction where you're addicted to this kind of love or this kind of cycle. And so that was very helpful in those critical moments. And then again, I finally, thankfully, through another friend was referred to the first therapist in my life that I stayed with, that I was honest with.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
I kind of call him the crisis therapist because there was some pretty dicey situations that I found myself in. And he was, again, also on speed dial. And it's crazy to talk about now to even think that I was in that kind of situation because it still kind of sounds crazy. unbelievable to me. I kept showing up when I didn't want to talk. Even if I didn't want to go to therapy, I'd still show up.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
And I, I just, and I, you can't lie to your therapist. I think a lot of us like even go to therapy, but then are you really telling all the things and are you really like being that vulnerable? And so I, I think when you're in so much pain, eventually you just surrender and that's when the healing can begin.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
So between the therapy and my friends, and then putting that into practice was really interesting too, because if you really decide and declare the kind of love you want, I took at least a year off. I was just completely not dating at all. But when I decided to get back out there again, it was really important to me to act as if I meant what I believe.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
It's like one thing to say, I want this kind of partner. And I, you know, but it's like a different thing after you've literally behaved one way for so long to try to enact these new, new ways of loving or these new boundaries you have for yourself or these new. virtues that matter most to you. And if you don't get those, are you going to stay or are you going to leave?
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
And remembering that you have the power. It's not a pick me, I want to be loved. It's a, I hope you're good enough. And You check all these boxes because this is what I want for my life. Not that I'm going to settle for, but this is what I will accept and I hope is additive to my life. And if not, I'd rather just be with myself and love myself and keep it moving.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
It's a really, really good place to get. It's hard. I remember when I did start dating, I definitely had some tests and I was so proud of myself when I would just like cut it off. And then I remember like this one, the one guy in particular, I was like, oh, this is the same kind of guy. The chemistry, the sex appeal. There's too many reasons that this looks like really attractive.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
But I know that that's not the formula anymore. I know where that's going to end up. I know about sex. the liars. I know about the cheaters. I know what that looks like. And what I use to gravitate to that and to have the love of self, to be able to go, yeah, you can stop calling me. And then you hear what, what, why, what? And I'm like, no, it's just not working out for me.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
Cause I just knew where it was going to go. And that was, that was a real breakthrough for me. Cause I'd never been able to do that in the past. And yeah, that's when I knew I was I was healed. Feels great. I love that.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
That there's no such thing. And there's no such thing as being behind when it comes to starting over. There's no timetable. It is a very, very personal thing. And so don't compare yourself to others and how they did it or they've done it. I think your biggest guide is that instinct you have inside. I call it my just my compass instinct. It's there for a reason. I like to say it's my sixth sense.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
Pay attention, get intimately familiar with how it feels. You just said something interesting like, oh, I thought love is like love. Like love isn't, isn't a feeling in my opinion. Love is doing, love is being, love is action. Love speaks volumes, but it's much, much more than a feeling. There is a knowing, I think, that we all have within ourselves.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
And it's very easy and very human of all of us to lie to ourselves. I mean, and, oh, it's fine. Or, oh, if I just call him back that one time. Or, oh, if I just don't stick to my plan to go to the gym. Or all these little teases that we have that take us away from what it is we really, really want for ourselves and deserve to have in our lives. And
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
So I think if you can really tune in, let that be your guide. If you're going through a divorce and just sit with it. Sometimes it can feel like just the void, you're in the void and there is so much uncertainty, but the quieter you get, the longer you stay with it, I think it's better. I think that is your healing process.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
If you rush that, it's gonna bubble up in some way later down the line, and then you're gonna have to start all over again. So don't we only wanna go through this once? Probably. So just stay with it as hard as it is. And it's hard, you know, it is hard, but just allow that for yourself would be my advice.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
Absolutely. Absolutely. You know, I feel so fortunate. I swim around in gratitude all the time that I just like... I am forever practicing gratitude. I love being in a state of just... appreciating, again, all those little moments and the now and all these things, but I definitely have had adversity. I mean, I'm writing my book right now, Pam. I've got stories, okay? It wasn't a perfect anything.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
My life has not been, you know, it sounds rosy and sometimes when I'm like, oh, I'm friends with my exes. It sounds so nice. And I know that's not like the norm for people. But what I do wanna say is I have had adversity and I've had some really dark times and I've been exposed to some very dysfunctional things.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
And looking back, again, I think that has allowed me to have conversations with people from all walks of life, from all backgrounds, through all different kinds of experiences, because I've lived a pretty colorful life myself, and it allows me to connect with people and have these conversations. So I'm grateful for the adversity I've had.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
I do believe that suffering is a teacher, and it doesn't mean it's easy, but it is there for us. That is the nature of life. It is this river and it flows and it's constantly changing and it's fluid and there will be highs and there will be lows. And if you can just remember that and kind of find your peace within all of that, regardless of what the weather is doing, it's a beautiful place to be.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
Well, thank you so much, Kat. Thank you for having me. Great questions.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
Oh, sure. Wow. It's interesting because I hadn't really thought about that story for many, many years. And it wasn't until a recent Golden Globes that I kind of jogged my memory. It was such a seismic moment in my life. So yes, I'm happy to share the story. I was back in 2007. And I was working for the E channel, E entertainment at the time.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
And I was heading off to cover the golden gloves for the first time in my career, which for a girl from Indiana who had dreamt of going to Hollywood and had, you know, engineered this broadcasting career, that was like, the epitome of like the creme de la creme kind of opportunity for me.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
What people didn't know at the time was that I was in the middle of a split with my husband, the father of my kids, Kyle, I'm sure we'll refer to him a couple of times. So I'll just give him a name, Kyle, but I was heartbroken, you know, professionally, all these wonderful things were happening in my life and being realized for the first time. But at the same time, my family was, was crumbling.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
And what was really going on inside of me was just like, feeling like a failure and feeling just so depleted and exhausted and devastated really with what was unraveling in my personal life and what was happening to my family.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
And so I get into this car with my driver because, you know, on the national level, one of the perks is, you know, they send you a car to get you to the big, you know, award show. And I had my sweats on, I had my coffee in my hand, and I was heading off to go do my job.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
And as glamorous and exciting and thrilling as that day seemed to be or appeared to be or I had anticipated it to be, I really didn't know if I could pull it off. I was the shell of a person. I felt like I was dying on the inside. And so I get in this car to go to work, and I'm kind of... feeling quite weak. And this man, the driver, and for the life of me, I can't remember his name.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
I think it might be Monroe. He just bestowed upon me like this kind of wisdom for the moment I was in that felt really ordained. Actually, it felt really like this divine energetic moment where I felt like he was sent to me in that moment, on that day, during that drive for 45 minutes where he, he kind of reframed my idea about my divorce in a new way. You know, he was asking me questions.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
I was a complete stranger. He was a complete stranger. I started telling him my story because it was so raw and it was so of the moment that I just kind of unloaded on this guy. And he was, he was, You know, like now Morgan Freeman is popping in my mind because he like he was like playing God. And then what came out of his mouth was even more beautiful.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
And he just spoke to me in a way which essentially was, you know, did you ever consider that all of this? happened for a reason and that Kyle came into your life for a reason to have these two remarkable children. And then maybe that job was done. Maybe that's where your story would end with Kyle.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
And while you have this idea that a family looks a certain kind of way with these four people until the end of time, that maybe that wasn't meant to be your story. And if you can make a kind of peace with that and let go in a freeing way, Then, you know, this other story that's unwritten for you has all the potential in the world.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
And I wish for the life of me I could replay that day, but it completely comforted me. And a lot of my pain melted away in that moment. And it gave me the strength to literally go forward into my day and do what I needed to do. So I reflect back.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
on that is just a really poignant, profound life experience that really led me on my way on this new path to how we would dissolve our lives together and all of the many choices that we all have in those moments as we move forward and create the next story.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
Hmm. Well, anyone who's been a child of divorce, I mean, divorce is such like a dirty word or it used to be. And it's, you know, no one ever gets married hoping to be divorced. You know, that's not what you go into it thinking about. And I had watched my parents divorce and there had been a lot of remarriages in my life. And so had Kyle, by the way, his parents had divorced also.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
And so I think the reality of one end, it was definitely an end. an ending can be really challenging. I just, maybe I hadn't considered a more hopeful narrative following all of that. I was still so raw. Like I said, it was still so new. Maybe I would have gotten to that, you know, down the line after grieving and doing work on myself and all those things.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
But, you know, I think he's circumvented a lot of my own work and just at least planted that seed for me that made me realize that, that I really did have a choice and I had some power in the situation to create however that was going to look like the reality is over here. But we always in our suffering still have an opportunity to to shape things how we want to.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Catt Sadler and Law Mother: Saving Your Wealth and Health During Divorce
We are the co-creators of our lives. I always say that all the time. I didn't know it then. I was only like this was like almost 20 years ago. I just turned 30. And yeah, it was it was really beautiful.