Carrot Top
👤 PersonPodcast Appearances
Wait, I need to do something. Hold on.
Wait, I need to do something. Hold on.
Wait, I need to do something. Hold on.
No, because he works at a... What were you working in? Chewy something?
No, because he works at a... What were you working in? Chewy something?
No, because he works at a... What were you working in? Chewy something?
Chewy's Tex-Mex. I don't have a... See, I don't have a... I only have a joke for sushi. When you eat sushi, you do this, so you look like you're really... Wow, look at that guy going with his chopsticks. But I was hoping it was gonna be a... Now I can't turn it off. The kids in the sweatshop make this shit for me. I don't know. I don't know how to operate them. I just... They build them.
Chewy's Tex-Mex. I don't have a... See, I don't have a... I only have a joke for sushi. When you eat sushi, you do this, so you look like you're really... Wow, look at that guy going with his chopsticks. But I was hoping it was gonna be a... Now I can't turn it off. The kids in the sweatshop make this shit for me. I don't know. I don't know how to operate them. I just... They build them.
Chewy's Tex-Mex. I don't have a... See, I don't have a... I only have a joke for sushi. When you eat sushi, you do this, so you look like you're really... Wow, look at that guy going with his chopsticks. But I was hoping it was gonna be a... Now I can't turn it off. The kids in the sweatshop make this shit for me. I don't know. I don't know how to operate them. I just... They build them.
I come up with them, and they build them. But look at that. That took engineering, fucker. Look at that shit. That is unbelievable. My dad worked at NASA.
I come up with them, and they build them. But look at that. That took engineering, fucker. Look at that shit. That is unbelievable. My dad worked at NASA.
I come up with them, and they build them. But look at that. That took engineering, fucker. Look at that shit. That is unbelievable. My dad worked at NASA.
I got to find something Mexican. I might. Wait, I do have something. Hold on. Oh, I love this. All right, people misspell... People misspell... This is so old, I forgot the joke. People misspell graffiti on walls all the time, right? So they should have... Hold on, can I do this? Yeah, yeah. So this is a spray paint can that has a dictionary, so they get it right. And they do it, man.
I got to find something Mexican. I might. Wait, I do have something. Hold on. Oh, I love this. All right, people misspell... People misspell... This is so old, I forgot the joke. People misspell graffiti on walls all the time, right? So they should have... Hold on, can I do this? Yeah, yeah. So this is a spray paint can that has a dictionary, so they get it right. And they do it, man.
I got to find something Mexican. I might. Wait, I do have something. Hold on. Oh, I love this. All right, people misspell... People misspell... This is so old, I forgot the joke. People misspell graffiti on walls all the time, right? So they should have... Hold on, can I do this? Yeah, yeah. So this is a spray paint can that has a dictionary, so they get it right. And they do it, man.
When they get done, you're like, what the fuck? Here, look. Oh, yes. Eat more posse? Wait the fuck, wait. No, that's not... No, that's stupid. Well, they're all stupid. That's fucking... Oh, fuck yes.
When they get done, you're like, what the fuck? Here, look. Oh, yes. Eat more posse? Wait the fuck, wait. No, that's not... No, that's stupid. Well, they're all stupid. That's fucking... Oh, fuck yes.
When they get done, you're like, what the fuck? Here, look. Oh, yes. Eat more posse? Wait the fuck, wait. No, that's not... No, that's stupid. Well, they're all stupid. That's fucking... Oh, fuck yes.
Fuck. That is... By the... That was a... It was a spray pink hand with a dictionary. No, sorry, I had to, I had to, I had to. Do you have the braille version? Yeah, yeah, I might actually. No, we'll wait, we'll wait.
Fuck. That is... By the... That was a... It was a spray pink hand with a dictionary. No, sorry, I had to, I had to, I had to. Do you have the braille version? Yeah, yeah, I might actually. No, we'll wait, we'll wait.
Fuck. That is... By the... That was a... It was a spray pink hand with a dictionary. No, sorry, I had to, I had to, I had to. Do you have the braille version? Yeah, yeah, I might actually. No, we'll wait, we'll wait.
We've been looking for a dog. There's a cat. Now we're looking for a dog. I have a cat. No, I don't. Oh, hell no.
We've been looking for a dog. There's a cat. Now we're looking for a dog. I have a cat. No, I don't. Oh, hell no.
We've been looking for a dog. There's a cat. Now we're looking for a dog. I have a cat. No, I don't. Oh, hell no.
Fuck. He probably... He's a sound effect guy. He needs you in the room when he's... What would it be? What would the big right before you cum...
Fuck. He probably... He's a sound effect guy. He needs you in the room when he's... What would it be? What would the big right before you cum...
Fuck. He probably... He's a sound effect guy. He needs you in the room when he's... What would it be? What would the big right before you cum...
Did you do that same set? That's hilarious. It killed, dude. A 13-year-old or a 12-year-old. People are like, this is the worst Mother's Day restaurant meal I've ever had. Yeah, it's great. I'll be back on Father's Day.
Did you do that same set? That's hilarious. It killed, dude. A 13-year-old or a 12-year-old. People are like, this is the worst Mother's Day restaurant meal I've ever had. Yeah, it's great. I'll be back on Father's Day.
Did you do that same set? That's hilarious. It killed, dude. A 13-year-old or a 12-year-old. People are like, this is the worst Mother's Day restaurant meal I've ever had. Yeah, it's great. I'll be back on Father's Day.
It's like a, what's the old, what's the old comment? It's just a, it's a tendency, it's a tendency. It's not gay, it's just tendency. It's not a gay, once you're, no, it's not my joke. It's not my joke, it's Louis CK's joke. Once you suck, it's sucking a cock. He's like, it's like, something about that, and then he says, once you've got your hand on it, you're committed.
It's like a, what's the old, what's the old comment? It's just a, it's a tendency, it's a tendency. It's not gay, it's just tendency. It's not a gay, once you're, no, it's not my joke. It's not my joke, it's Louis CK's joke. Once you suck, it's sucking a cock. He's like, it's like, something about that, and then he says, once you've got your hand on it, you're committed.
It's like a, what's the old, what's the old comment? It's just a, it's a tendency, it's a tendency. It's not gay, it's just tendency. It's not a gay, once you're, no, it's not my joke. It's not my joke, it's Louis CK's joke. Once you suck, it's sucking a cock. He's like, it's like, something about that, and then he says, once you've got your hand on it, you're committed.
It's a fucking, it's a cock in your mouth.
It's a fucking, it's a cock in your mouth.
It's a fucking, it's a cock in your mouth.
After review of the play. Can I do my... I have a prop. I have a prop. I have a prop. Oh, let's go. It's a mousetrap to get gay mice, see? It's a classic. It's a classic. That's a classic. You're awesome. I have no fucking life.
After review of the play. Can I do my... I have a prop. I have a prop. I have a prop. Oh, let's go. It's a mousetrap to get gay mice, see? It's a classic. It's a classic. That's a classic. You're awesome. I have no fucking life.
After review of the play. Can I do my... I have a prop. I have a prop. I have a prop. Oh, let's go. It's a mousetrap to get gay mice, see? It's a classic. It's a classic. That's a classic. You're awesome. I have no fucking life.
What an art form it is. You are a master. I found a mousetrap at Home Depot and then I found a mirror ball and I was like, there's got to be a fucking joke. And the lady ringing me up was like, is this going to be one of your jokes? I said, yeah, it's a gay mousetrap. And she's like, it's great. I was just gonna fucking kill. It's going to be great. It's going to be great.
What an art form it is. You are a master. I found a mousetrap at Home Depot and then I found a mirror ball and I was like, there's got to be a fucking joke. And the lady ringing me up was like, is this going to be one of your jokes? I said, yeah, it's a gay mousetrap. And she's like, it's great. I was just gonna fucking kill. It's going to be great. It's going to be great.
What an art form it is. You are a master. I found a mousetrap at Home Depot and then I found a mirror ball and I was like, there's got to be a fucking joke. And the lady ringing me up was like, is this going to be one of your jokes? I said, yeah, it's a gay mousetrap. And she's like, it's great. I was just gonna fucking kill. It's going to be great. It's going to be great.
It set me up, though. I had a good one. I was like, yeah. I love it. That's true.
It set me up, though. I had a good one. I was like, yeah. I love it. That's true.
It set me up, though. I had a good one. I was like, yeah. I love it. That's true.
And this is the iconic carrot. Are you saying hi to me? I thought you were saying hi to Tony. Is it Tony, right?
And this is the iconic carrot. Are you saying hi to me? I thought you were saying hi to Tony. Is it Tony, right?
And this is the iconic carrot. Are you saying hi to me? I thought you were saying hi to Tony. Is it Tony, right?
I'm looking for another. I have another gay joke somewhere in here. Molly, how long have you been doing stand-up?
I'm looking for another. I have another gay joke somewhere in here. Molly, how long have you been doing stand-up?
I'm looking for another. I have another gay joke somewhere in here. Molly, how long have you been doing stand-up?
When you go to a bar, right? When you go to a bar, you can't see who you're hitting on, right? Because it's dark, so it's a beer that has a light built into it. You kind of scope it out before you... And look, it's a... And there's two jokes. Look, it's a Bud Light. Ah, fuck! Look at that shit. That wrote itself. Bud Light. Maybe there's another one. This is amazing.
When you go to a bar, right? When you go to a bar, you can't see who you're hitting on, right? Because it's dark, so it's a beer that has a light built into it. You kind of scope it out before you... And look, it's a... And there's two jokes. Look, it's a Bud Light. Ah, fuck! Look at that shit. That wrote itself. Bud Light. Maybe there's another one. This is amazing.
When you go to a bar, right? When you go to a bar, you can't see who you're hitting on, right? Because it's dark, so it's a beer that has a light built into it. You kind of scope it out before you... And look, it's a... And there's two jokes. Look, it's a Bud Light. Ah, fuck! Look at that shit. That wrote itself. Bud Light. Maybe there's another one. This is amazing.
I don't know if you guys all smoke the same pot that I did tonight. This is a dumb one. This is a pacifier for ugly babies. But it's dumb. I mean, they're not all clever. It'll be done. Polish shit. You know how much it costs to fly this shit here, too, by the way? Seriously. They had to go through it. Like, what the fuck is a dildo on a thing? I'm like, it's... Oh, it's carrot top. That's okay.
I don't know if you guys all smoke the same pot that I did tonight. This is a dumb one. This is a pacifier for ugly babies. But it's dumb. I mean, they're not all clever. It'll be done. Polish shit. You know how much it costs to fly this shit here, too, by the way? Seriously. They had to go through it. Like, what the fuck is a dildo on a thing? I'm like, it's... Oh, it's carrot top. That's okay.
I don't know if you guys all smoke the same pot that I did tonight. This is a dumb one. This is a pacifier for ugly babies. But it's dumb. I mean, they're not all clever. It'll be done. Polish shit. You know how much it costs to fly this shit here, too, by the way? Seriously. They had to go through it. Like, what the fuck is a dildo on a thing? I'm like, it's... Oh, it's carrot top. That's okay.
They really go through it. I'm like, it's a gay mousetrap.
They really go through it. I'm like, it's a gay mousetrap.
They really go through it. I'm like, it's a gay mousetrap.
Yeah, I was going with people too young to remember Regis and Kathy Lee. And I was doing the show, and I was on a flight. And this is great, the same exact trunk. It has flowers all over it. And I'm on this trunk, and I'm playing. I said to the woman, I'm doing this live show. Could you make sure the trunk gets it on? Because I'm going to go live tonight. And they said, oh, no, we got it.
Yeah, I was going with people too young to remember Regis and Kathy Lee. And I was doing the show, and I was on a flight. And this is great, the same exact trunk. It has flowers all over it. And I'm on this trunk, and I'm playing. I said to the woman, I'm doing this live show. Could you make sure the trunk gets it on? Because I'm going to go live tonight. And they said, oh, no, we got it.
Yeah, I was going with people too young to remember Regis and Kathy Lee. And I was doing the show, and I was on a flight. And this is great, the same exact trunk. It has flowers all over it. And I'm on this trunk, and I'm playing. I said to the woman, I'm doing this live show. Could you make sure the trunk gets it on? Because I'm going to go live tonight. And they said, oh, no, we got it.
We got it. We got it. We got it. We got it. We do it. And we get on the plane. I look out the window. It's like 4 in the morning. And I see this trunk going on the bed of another airplane. Oh, no. And I'm like, oh, fuck. And I said, that's my shit. And they go, no. I said, well, unless Donny and Marie are on the other fucking flight. There's like a box full of fucking shit.
We got it. We got it. We got it. We got it. We do it. And we get on the plane. I look out the window. It's like 4 in the morning. And I see this trunk going on the bed of another airplane. Oh, no. And I'm like, oh, fuck. And I said, that's my shit. And they go, no. I said, well, unless Donny and Marie are on the other fucking flight. There's like a box full of fucking shit.
We got it. We got it. We got it. We got it. We do it. And we get on the plane. I look out the window. It's like 4 in the morning. And I see this trunk going on the bed of another airplane. Oh, no. And I'm like, oh, fuck. And I said, that's my shit. And they go, no. I said, well, unless Donny and Marie are on the other fucking flight. There's like a box full of fucking shit.
So they got it for me just in time. Oh, awesome. Just in time to do, you know, on Regis and Kathie Lee, you know, a plate for bulimics. I mean, you know. Oh, my God. You can eat and... A plate for bulimics. You said be politically incorrect tonight, so I'm bringing all my... I love it. I'm bringing all my dark carrot top shoes. I love it. I love it. You guys are, by the way, the best.
So they got it for me just in time. Oh, awesome. Just in time to do, you know, on Regis and Kathie Lee, you know, a plate for bulimics. I mean, you know. Oh, my God. You can eat and... A plate for bulimics. You said be politically incorrect tonight, so I'm bringing all my... I love it. I'm bringing all my dark carrot top shoes. I love it. I love it. You guys are, by the way, the best.
So they got it for me just in time. Oh, awesome. Just in time to do, you know, on Regis and Kathie Lee, you know, a plate for bulimics. I mean, you know. Oh, my God. You can eat and... A plate for bulimics. You said be politically incorrect tonight, so I'm bringing all my... I love it. I'm bringing all my dark carrot top shoes. I love it. I love it. You guys are, by the way, the best.
You're the best. This is fun. This is fucking awesome. This is so fun. Man, everybody that's on here is so fun. Yeah.
You're the best. This is fun. This is fucking awesome. This is so fun. Man, everybody that's on here is so fun. Yeah.
You're the best. This is fun. This is fucking awesome. This is so fun. Man, everybody that's on here is so fun. Yeah.
I like that one guy, one guy, throuple!
I like that one guy, one guy, throuple!
I like that one guy, one guy, throuple!
I like that first joke, but I would have said, would you say 25% gay? And you pause and say, okay, 90. You know, something like, because, I mean, Gilligan, come on. Yeah. Yeah. This is an incredible getup. No, but that was funny. Fucking love it. I have those same shorts. Yeah. I feel bad. I really have the same legs. We have the same legs. Look at that.
I like that first joke, but I would have said, would you say 25% gay? And you pause and say, okay, 90. You know, something like, because, I mean, Gilligan, come on. Yeah. Yeah. This is an incredible getup. No, but that was funny. Fucking love it. I have those same shorts. Yeah. I feel bad. I really have the same legs. We have the same legs. Look at that.
I like that first joke, but I would have said, would you say 25% gay? And you pause and say, okay, 90. You know, something like, because, I mean, Gilligan, come on. Yeah. Yeah. This is an incredible getup. No, but that was funny. Fucking love it. I have those same shorts. Yeah. I feel bad. I really have the same legs. We have the same legs. Look at that.
Except I shaved mine, so it makes my dick look leaner.
Except I shaved mine, so it makes my dick look leaner.
Except I shaved mine, so it makes my dick look leaner.
Wow. You know, OJ got that job, by the way.
Wow. You know, OJ got that job, by the way.
Wow. You know, OJ got that job, by the way.
It's a business. You know, when we were comics, we'd order Domino's, right? And then we'd order Pizza Hut. We'd make both people eat their other thing. We'd film Pizza Hut eating Domino's and Domino's eating pizza. And they were like, no, we can't do that. And then we'd videotape them and they got fired from eating. Literally. They wouldn't eat the competition. I eat the competition. Incredible.
It's a business. You know, when we were comics, we'd order Domino's, right? And then we'd order Pizza Hut. We'd make both people eat their other thing. We'd film Pizza Hut eating Domino's and Domino's eating pizza. And they were like, no, we can't do that. And then we'd videotape them and they got fired from eating. Literally. They wouldn't eat the competition. I eat the competition. Incredible.
It's a business. You know, when we were comics, we'd order Domino's, right? And then we'd order Pizza Hut. We'd make both people eat their other thing. We'd film Pizza Hut eating Domino's and Domino's eating pizza. And they were like, no, we can't do that. And then we'd videotape them and they got fired from eating. Literally. They wouldn't eat the competition. I eat the competition. Incredible.
Wait, I have something for this. Hold on. Oh, okay. I love this. Carrot top, going into the... These are good. I gotta stand up for this one, dude. Only because you're wearing those goddamn things. Well, you know, it was hot today in Austin, so I had to be prepared to swim. They're skinny jeans for fat guys. So that way, when you wear them, you're like, you look so lean! Fucking retard, isn't it?
Wait, I have something for this. Hold on. Oh, okay. I love this. Carrot top, going into the... These are good. I gotta stand up for this one, dude. Only because you're wearing those goddamn things. Well, you know, it was hot today in Austin, so I had to be prepared to swim. They're skinny jeans for fat guys. So that way, when you wear them, you're like, you look so lean! Fucking retard, isn't it?
Wait, I have something for this. Hold on. Oh, okay. I love this. Carrot top, going into the... These are good. I gotta stand up for this one, dude. Only because you're wearing those goddamn things. Well, you know, it was hot today in Austin, so I had to be prepared to swim. They're skinny jeans for fat guys. So that way, when you wear them, you're like, you look so lean! Fucking retard, isn't it?
I mean, I'm retired. You can't say that word anymore. This is the best. Show and tell with liquor. I love it.
I mean, I'm retired. You can't say that word anymore. This is the best. Show and tell with liquor. I love it.
I mean, I'm retired. You can't say that word anymore. This is the best. Show and tell with liquor. I love it.
You can almost... There's nothing worse than an intro. This is the best guy in the world! Then you eat shit. But we'll see. Thanks for having me, man. This is so beautiful. We're going to have... Is this mine? I have two mics. That's how important I am. Absolutely. They don't want to miss one word. I've got two. One man, two mics. One lighter. Absolutely. What a hot crowd. You look good.
You can almost... There's nothing worse than an intro. This is the best guy in the world! Then you eat shit. But we'll see. Thanks for having me, man. This is so beautiful. We're going to have... Is this mine? I have two mics. That's how important I am. Absolutely. They don't want to miss one word. I've got two. One man, two mics. One lighter. Absolutely. What a hot crowd. You look good.
You can almost... There's nothing worse than an intro. This is the best guy in the world! Then you eat shit. But we'll see. Thanks for having me, man. This is so beautiful. We're going to have... Is this mine? I have two mics. That's how important I am. Absolutely. They don't want to miss one word. I've got two. One man, two mics. One lighter. Absolutely. What a hot crowd. You look good.
And there it is. Another new minute. Now, you've been doing comedy for a long... Sorry to take your time. You've been doing comedy for a long time, right? Oh, four years. No, because you're good. Thank you, man. I really appreciate that, bro. Solid, solid, solid.
And there it is. Another new minute. Now, you've been doing comedy for a long... Sorry to take your time. You've been doing comedy for a long time, right? Oh, four years. No, because you're good. Thank you, man. I really appreciate that, bro. Solid, solid, solid.
And there it is. Another new minute. Now, you've been doing comedy for a long... Sorry to take your time. You've been doing comedy for a long time, right? Oh, four years. No, because you're good. Thank you, man. I really appreciate that, bro. Solid, solid, solid.
Solid. Thanks a lot. Sorry about my stupid dreads. Sorry about that. No, I just... Listen, I... He'll stop me like, what the fuck? I'm trying. I fuck with them, nigga. They nice. Hell yeah, I like them. Hell yeah. There's a lot going on, but I like it. Hell yeah.
Solid. Thanks a lot. Sorry about my stupid dreads. Sorry about that. No, I just... Listen, I... He'll stop me like, what the fuck? I'm trying. I fuck with them, nigga. They nice. Hell yeah, I like them. Hell yeah. There's a lot going on, but I like it. Hell yeah.
Solid. Thanks a lot. Sorry about my stupid dreads. Sorry about that. No, I just... Listen, I... He'll stop me like, what the fuck? I'm trying. I fuck with them, nigga. They nice. Hell yeah, I like them. Hell yeah. There's a lot going on, but I like it. Hell yeah.
It's a great joke, though, isn't it? It's a fucking great joke. It was.
It's a great joke, though, isn't it? It's a fucking great joke. It was.
It's a great joke, though, isn't it? It's a fucking great joke. It was.
It's incredible. But it wasn't a joke. It really fucking happened? Yeah, no. See, that's what I'm thinking.
It's incredible. But it wasn't a joke. It really fucking happened? Yeah, no. See, that's what I'm thinking.
It's incredible. But it wasn't a joke. It really fucking happened? Yeah, no. See, that's what I'm thinking.
It's dark. I can't see anybody, but you look good. You look fantastic. I look fucking great, actually. I know. We were talking before the show.
It's dark. I can't see anybody, but you look good. You look fantastic. I look fucking great, actually. I know. We were talking before the show.
It's dark. I can't see anybody, but you look good. You look fantastic. I look fucking great, actually. I know. We were talking before the show.
Show me some goddamn papers, you dirty bitch. Fucking great. Ah, shit. Oh, man. That was brilliant.
Show me some goddamn papers, you dirty bitch. Fucking great. Ah, shit. Oh, man. That was brilliant.
Show me some goddamn papers, you dirty bitch. Fucking great. Ah, shit. Oh, man. That was brilliant.
I have another gay joke. Hold on. Oh, we love that. This one's in memory of Tyrone Jones. It's a... Hold on. Fuck. It's a piggy bank for gay guys. He goes... Hey, that gave a fuck, dog. That's you with him playing basketball. I love it.
I have another gay joke. Hold on. Oh, we love that. This one's in memory of Tyrone Jones. It's a... Hold on. Fuck. It's a piggy bank for gay guys. He goes... Hey, that gave a fuck, dog. That's you with him playing basketball. I love it.
I have another gay joke. Hold on. Oh, we love that. This one's in memory of Tyrone Jones. It's a... Hold on. Fuck. It's a piggy bank for gay guys. He goes... Hey, that gave a fuck, dog. That's you with him playing basketball. I love it.
Do you remember Tony? Oh, yes, for sure.
Do you remember Tony? Oh, yes, for sure.
Do you remember Tony? Oh, yes, for sure.
Incredible, Jake. Okay. If you did both, we might have a prize for you.
Incredible, Jake. Okay. If you did both, we might have a prize for you.
Incredible, Jake. Okay. If you did both, we might have a prize for you.
I'm going to let this... It's like Rip Taylor's act right there.
I'm going to let this... It's like Rip Taylor's act right there.
I'm going to let this... It's like Rip Taylor's act right there.
I love it. Very good. You lose that fucking thing. Seriously Yeah, the other guy earlier could lose a dog. It was probably that big. Yeah How long is he here?
I love it. Very good. You lose that fucking thing. Seriously Yeah, the other guy earlier could lose a dog. It was probably that big. Yeah How long is he here?
I love it. Very good. You lose that fucking thing. Seriously Yeah, the other guy earlier could lose a dog. It was probably that big. Yeah How long is he here?
I've got something for you. Hold on. Oh, yes. So this is fun. When you go to someone's house for a house party, you bring this and you leave it on their table. And the next morning they're like, what the fuck was doing below at our house? That's for you. That's for you. That is awesome. I love it. I was going to give it to you, but I got to fly this shit back to Vegas.
I've got something for you. Hold on. Oh, yes. So this is fun. When you go to someone's house for a house party, you bring this and you leave it on their table. And the next morning they're like, what the fuck was doing below at our house? That's for you. That's for you. That is awesome. I love it. I was going to give it to you, but I got to fly this shit back to Vegas.
I've got something for you. Hold on. Oh, yes. So this is fun. When you go to someone's house for a house party, you bring this and you leave it on their table. And the next morning they're like, what the fuck was doing below at our house? That's for you. That's for you. That is awesome. I love it. I was going to give it to you, but I got to fly this shit back to Vegas.
Yeah, absolutely. We gotta do a better prop. So this is all for the women here. When you go to the bar at night, you bring your purse, you can decide what guy to bring home at the end of the night. Oh, my goodness.
Yeah, absolutely. We gotta do a better prop. So this is all for the women here. When you go to the bar at night, you bring your purse, you can decide what guy to bring home at the end of the night. Oh, my goodness.
Yeah, absolutely. We gotta do a better prop. So this is all for the women here. When you go to the bar at night, you bring your purse, you can decide what guy to bring home at the end of the night. Oh, my goodness.
What up, bro? He's on the crew? Yeah, here at the Mothership. My crew fucking is not funny. Seriously, you're fucking funny. My crew, I don't let them look at me. You let them look at you. Yeah, yeah, there are a lot that look at me.
What up, bro? He's on the crew? Yeah, here at the Mothership. My crew fucking is not funny. Seriously, you're fucking funny. My crew, I don't let them look at me. You let them look at you. Yeah, yeah, there are a lot that look at me.
What up, bro? He's on the crew? Yeah, here at the Mothership. My crew fucking is not funny. Seriously, you're fucking funny. My crew, I don't let them look at me. You let them look at you. Yeah, yeah, there are a lot that look at me.
Yeah. Appreciate it. Now, as a prop guy, sorry. The first thing you walked out, I'm thinking, oh, fuck. I'm surprised you didn't. When you had the mic stand, you said, look, I know. I'm exactly almost the same height as the mic stand. That would be a funny opening joke. No, no, no, no, leave it where it was, where you're just, you're right about the same height.
Yeah. Appreciate it. Now, as a prop guy, sorry. The first thing you walked out, I'm thinking, oh, fuck. I'm surprised you didn't. When you had the mic stand, you said, look, I know. I'm exactly almost the same height as the mic stand. That would be a funny opening joke. No, no, no, no, leave it where it was, where you're just, you're right about the same height.
Yeah. Appreciate it. Now, as a prop guy, sorry. The first thing you walked out, I'm thinking, oh, fuck. I'm surprised you didn't. When you had the mic stand, you said, look, I know. I'm exactly almost the same height as the mic stand. That would be a funny opening joke. No, no, no, no, leave it where it was, where you're just, you're right about the same height.
When it was up right there, you say, huh? I'm fucking him with his thighs. I'll stick with props the other time. I'll stick with my props. I just saw a mic and you were the same height as the mic, and I said, that's a good joke. Yeah, I try to shy away from the hype shit. Yeah. But you open with something like world record something, so it made me think you were going to say that.
When it was up right there, you say, huh? I'm fucking him with his thighs. I'll stick with props the other time. I'll stick with my props. I just saw a mic and you were the same height as the mic, and I said, that's a good joke. Yeah, I try to shy away from the hype shit. Yeah. But you open with something like world record something, so it made me think you were going to say that.
When it was up right there, you say, huh? I'm fucking him with his thighs. I'll stick with props the other time. I'll stick with my props. I just saw a mic and you were the same height as the mic, and I said, that's a good joke. Yeah, I try to shy away from the hype shit. Yeah. But you open with something like world record something, so it made me think you were going to say that.
No, no, you're not the shortest man alive. No, no, no, no, you're not the shortest man alive.
No, no, you're not the shortest man alive. No, no, no, no, you're not the shortest man alive.
No, no, you're not the shortest man alive. No, no, no, no, you're not the shortest man alive.
Oh, shit. Yeah, really. Okay. You're sweet. Just what they want advice from me. Yeah.
Oh, shit. Yeah, really. Okay. You're sweet. Just what they want advice from me. Yeah.
Oh, shit. Yeah, really. Okay. You're sweet. Just what they want advice from me. Yeah.
Which one is it, though? Which one is it? I'm not asking your girth. I'm saying that prop was about girth, not the length. It was about big ol' fuckin' dick. Big ol'... Okay, okay. Which... Which two ladies said fuck? They loved earlier. Hell yeah. Now that you're here, they're like, well, he probably has a big dick.
Which one is it, though? Which one is it? I'm not asking your girth. I'm saying that prop was about girth, not the length. It was about big ol' fuckin' dick. Big ol'... Okay, okay. Which... Which two ladies said fuck? They loved earlier. Hell yeah. Now that you're here, they're like, well, he probably has a big dick.
Which one is it, though? Which one is it? I'm not asking your girth. I'm saying that prop was about girth, not the length. It was about big ol' fuckin' dick. Big ol'... Okay, okay. Which... Which two ladies said fuck? They loved earlier. Hell yeah. Now that you're here, they're like, well, he probably has a big dick.
Yeah. You ever heard of... You know, white people, white redheads, fucking white people. You sound like me. Yeah, redheads have huge cocks. Is that true? Yes. That's why my hair is purple and green and blue and green. I'm not redhead.
Yeah. You ever heard of... You know, white people, white redheads, fucking white people. You sound like me. Yeah, redheads have huge cocks. Is that true? Yes. That's why my hair is purple and green and blue and green. I'm not redhead.
Yeah. You ever heard of... You know, white people, white redheads, fucking white people. You sound like me. Yeah, redheads have huge cocks. Is that true? Yes. That's why my hair is purple and green and blue and green. I'm not redhead.
Yeah. I like Bookstore. I just like the Bookstore.
Yeah. I like Bookstore. I just like the Bookstore.
Yeah. I like Bookstore. I just like the Bookstore.
To her, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I mean to her. No, not you, to her, you're history. To her, I'm history? No, you're not history. To her, you're, she's, right? She's, he's history to her. You got it, you got it. And she's history. I don't know. Fuck. We got off on a bad thing. I liked the height joke. I thought it was funny. Wait, I got one. Hold on. Fuck. Oh, no. Oh, yes. Oh, no, I really do.
To her, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I mean to her. No, not you, to her, you're history. To her, I'm history? No, you're not history. To her, you're, she's, right? She's, he's history to her. You got it, you got it. And she's history. I don't know. Fuck. We got off on a bad thing. I liked the height joke. I thought it was funny. Wait, I got one. Hold on. Fuck. Oh, no. Oh, yes. Oh, no, I really do.
To her, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I mean to her. No, not you, to her, you're history. To her, I'm history? No, you're not history. To her, you're, she's, right? She's, he's history to her. You got it, you got it. And she's history. I don't know. Fuck. We got off on a bad thing. I liked the height joke. I thought it was funny. Wait, I got one. Hold on. Fuck. Oh, no. Oh, yes. Oh, no, I really do.
This is great. Fuck. It's a hanger for a midget. LAUGHTER I mean, that is fucking timing, right? Is that, you're going to give that to me? You said if I had something in the middle of the interview that I could cut him off. Fucking I had it. It was in Comedy Gold. It was just sitting there like, pull me out of the truck! You made that yourself? No, I make all this shit myself. Oh yeah, bro.
This is great. Fuck. It's a hanger for a midget. LAUGHTER I mean, that is fucking timing, right? Is that, you're going to give that to me? You said if I had something in the middle of the interview that I could cut him off. Fucking I had it. It was in Comedy Gold. It was just sitting there like, pull me out of the truck! You made that yourself? No, I make all this shit myself. Oh yeah, bro.
This is great. Fuck. It's a hanger for a midget. LAUGHTER I mean, that is fucking timing, right? Is that, you're going to give that to me? You said if I had something in the middle of the interview that I could cut him off. Fucking I had it. It was in Comedy Gold. It was just sitting there like, pull me out of the truck! You made that yourself? No, I make all this shit myself. Oh yeah, bro.
I've got nothing else to do. I literally, everything has duct tape and yeah. I can't believe you have a hanger for a short person. You can't say midget, you're a short person.
I've got nothing else to do. I literally, everything has duct tape and yeah. I can't believe you have a hanger for a short person. You can't say midget, you're a short person.
I've got nothing else to do. I literally, everything has duct tape and yeah. I can't believe you have a hanger for a short person. You can't say midget, you're a short person.
Damn. Law, you need one of these. Went to Radio Shack and got a fucking thing. Oh my God. That's how old that joke was, right? When they had an aerial. Absolutely incredible.
Damn. Law, you need one of these. Went to Radio Shack and got a fucking thing. Oh my God. That's how old that joke was, right? When they had an aerial. Absolutely incredible.
Damn. Law, you need one of these. Went to Radio Shack and got a fucking thing. Oh my God. That's how old that joke was, right? When they had an aerial. Absolutely incredible.
Yeah. You got it. I'm not holding nothing back. Fuck, we're gonna go a month without coming.
Yeah. You got it. I'm not holding nothing back. Fuck, we're gonna go a month without coming.
Yeah. You got it. I'm not holding nothing back. Fuck, we're gonna go a month without coming.
Yeah. 97 days. Well, we're all proud of you. No, thank you. All right? We're all, like, thinking that's a good thing. Maybe I'll try that. Starting tonight. Starting tonight. Yeah, totally. I'm telling you. Yeah.
Yeah. 97 days. Well, we're all proud of you. No, thank you. All right? We're all, like, thinking that's a good thing. Maybe I'll try that. Starting tonight. Starting tonight. Yeah, totally. I'm telling you. Yeah.
Yeah. 97 days. Well, we're all proud of you. No, thank you. All right? We're all, like, thinking that's a good thing. Maybe I'll try that. Starting tonight. Starting tonight. Yeah, totally. I'm telling you. Yeah.
I'm done with it all. I'm jerking off in the hotel. You got me tonight, by the way. No doubt about it. Hell, yeah. Mini bar, I'm going in there. Yep. I'm not going to come in the minibar. I'm going to drink the minibar.
I'm done with it all. I'm jerking off in the hotel. You got me tonight, by the way. No doubt about it. Hell, yeah. Mini bar, I'm going in there. Yep. I'm not going to come in the minibar. I'm going to drink the minibar.
I'm done with it all. I'm jerking off in the hotel. You got me tonight, by the way. No doubt about it. Hell, yeah. Mini bar, I'm going in there. Yep. I'm not going to come in the minibar. I'm going to drink the minibar.
Yeah. That'd be weird, wouldn't it? Someone came in the minibar. Yeah. Like, well, fucking carrot tops and kill Tony. Fucking came in the minibar. He left a fucking mousetrap. Yeah.
Yeah. That'd be weird, wouldn't it? Someone came in the minibar. Yeah. Like, well, fucking carrot tops and kill Tony. Fucking came in the minibar. He left a fucking mousetrap. Yeah.
Yeah. That'd be weird, wouldn't it? Someone came in the minibar. Yeah. Like, well, fucking carrot tops and kill Tony. Fucking came in the minibar. He left a fucking mousetrap. Yeah.
It's good, it's good. I had great hair until you showed up. Fuck, it's good hair.
It's good, it's good. I had great hair until you showed up. Fuck, it's good hair.
It's good, it's good. I had great hair until you showed up. Fuck, it's good hair.
I love the reveal when the comedians find... It's me, Reba McIntyre, good to see you. She's let herself go. Oh, my God. She looks like shit. She should hydrate.
I love the reveal when the comedians find... It's me, Reba McIntyre, good to see you. She's let herself go. Oh, my God. She looks like shit. She should hydrate.
I love the reveal when the comedians find... It's me, Reba McIntyre, good to see you. She's let herself go. Oh, my God. She looks like shit. She should hydrate.
I'm going to give you a joke you can do. So when you go out, you have a, fuck, let's find a good one, shit. There's not been a good one yet. So when you go out, you say, so this is for redneck women so they can still feed their babies and still smoke. We're gonna watch the, I don't know. We're gonna watch The Price is Right. See the kids, the kids, ah fuck. If it's not working with him, oh shit.
I'm going to give you a joke you can do. So when you go out, you have a, fuck, let's find a good one, shit. There's not been a good one yet. So when you go out, you say, so this is for redneck women so they can still feed their babies and still smoke. We're gonna watch the, I don't know. We're gonna watch The Price is Right. See the kids, the kids, ah fuck. If it's not working with him, oh shit.
I'm going to give you a joke you can do. So when you go out, you have a, fuck, let's find a good one, shit. There's not been a good one yet. So when you go out, you say, so this is for redneck women so they can still feed their babies and still smoke. We're gonna watch the, I don't know. We're gonna watch The Price is Right. See the kids, the kids, ah fuck. If it's not working with him, oh shit.
This is a thermometer holder, so you get the right one. Oh, what the fuck? You don't want your mom to give you the wrong one.
This is a thermometer holder, so you get the right one. Oh, what the fuck? You don't want your mom to give you the wrong one.
This is a thermometer holder, so you get the right one. Oh, what the fuck? You don't want your mom to give you the wrong one.
It's getting real scary at the bottom of this truck. You know, the sad thing is I had to make, I'm just drilling a fucking hole in this. Seriously, I'm backstage. What are you doing? I'm just drilling a hole in this fucking baby's asshole. But it's going to be great on Kilt Tony.
It's getting real scary at the bottom of this truck. You know, the sad thing is I had to make, I'm just drilling a fucking hole in this. Seriously, I'm backstage. What are you doing? I'm just drilling a hole in this fucking baby's asshole. But it's going to be great on Kilt Tony.
It's getting real scary at the bottom of this truck. You know, the sad thing is I had to make, I'm just drilling a fucking hole in this. Seriously, I'm backstage. What are you doing? I'm just drilling a hole in this fucking baby's asshole. But it's going to be great on Kilt Tony.
Carrot Top. Brilliant. Everything you said was brilliant. Funny.
Carrot Top. Brilliant. Everything you said was brilliant. Funny.
Carrot Top. Brilliant. Everything you said was brilliant. Funny.
That was the best part. Like, you know, comedians that get drunk.
That was the best part. Like, you know, comedians that get drunk.
That was the best part. Like, you know, comedians that get drunk.
You know, Cosby put something in my drink.
You know, Cosby put something in my drink.
You know, Cosby put something in my drink.
That was funny. That line was so goddamn funny. You drive like a giant.
That was funny. That line was so goddamn funny. You drive like a giant.
That was funny. That line was so goddamn funny. You drive like a giant.
Did you meet the guy early that didn't come for a year and a half? I missed that. What did you say? The guy that earlier said he didn't come for like two years.
Did you meet the guy early that didn't come for a year and a half? I missed that. What did you say? The guy that earlier said he didn't come for like two years.
Did you meet the guy early that didn't come for a year and a half? I missed that. What did you say? The guy that earlier said he didn't come for like two years.
They always sing that fucking thing, don't they? Love Shack. Love Shack. With the love Shack. Sorry, I don't know what the fuck happened. You're in the zone. I love it. I was Fred Schneider for about two seconds there. Yeah.
They always sing that fucking thing, don't they? Love Shack. Love Shack. With the love Shack. Sorry, I don't know what the fuck happened. You're in the zone. I love it. I was Fred Schneider for about two seconds there. Yeah.
They always sing that fucking thing, don't they? Love Shack. Love Shack. With the love Shack. Sorry, I don't know what the fuck happened. You're in the zone. I love it. I was Fred Schneider for about two seconds there. Yeah.
And I'm about to set sail! Sorry, sorry, I'll stop.
And I'm about to set sail! Sorry, sorry, I'll stop.
And I'm about to set sail! Sorry, sorry, I'll stop.
Oh, yeah, there is a hard copy. I got the original.
Oh, yeah, there is a hard copy. I got the original.
Oh, yeah, there is a hard copy. I got the original.
You know, I was the one that was going to wear a Texas shirt to suck up to the crowd, but now someone else will wear a Texas shirt.
You know, I was the one that was going to wear a Texas shirt to suck up to the crowd, but now someone else will wear a Texas shirt.
You know, I was the one that was going to wear a Texas shirt to suck up to the crowd, but now someone else will wear a Texas shirt.
You can pick one out and guess. That'd be fun. Oh, yeah. There you go.
You can pick one out and guess. That'd be fun. Oh, yeah. There you go.
You can pick one out and guess. That'd be fun. Oh, yeah. There you go.
No, that's a great game. Now, what is that? I don't remember what it is either. What do you think that is, Carrot Top? That's a good baby. Oh, shh. Don't shake the baby. No. So it's close, though. Well, here, I think... That would have been better than what I would have done.
No, that's a great game. Now, what is that? I don't remember what it is either. What do you think that is, Carrot Top? That's a good baby. Oh, shh. Don't shake the baby. No. So it's close, though. Well, here, I think... That would have been better than what I would have done.
No, that's a great game. Now, what is that? I don't remember what it is either. What do you think that is, Carrot Top? That's a good baby. Oh, shh. Don't shake the baby. No. So it's close, though. Well, here, I think... That would have been better than what I would have done.
No, I just say, this is the way you can also make a drink and shut your kid up. Like, fucking shut the fuck up. If you want to make a drink. Hold on, one more. I made a shake weight that has a piece of plexiglass in case it shoots off when you're doing it. Wait, it's got a better ending. Hold on. Then I made one for Asian guys. I want to offend everybody. That's the whole key. This is so awesome.
No, I just say, this is the way you can also make a drink and shut your kid up. Like, fucking shut the fuck up. If you want to make a drink. Hold on, one more. I made a shake weight that has a piece of plexiglass in case it shoots off when you're doing it. Wait, it's got a better ending. Hold on. Then I made one for Asian guys. I want to offend everybody. That's the whole key. This is so awesome.
No, I just say, this is the way you can also make a drink and shut your kid up. Like, fucking shut the fuck up. If you want to make a drink. Hold on, one more. I made a shake weight that has a piece of plexiglass in case it shoots off when you're doing it. Wait, it's got a better ending. Hold on. Then I made one for Asian guys. I want to offend everybody. That's the whole key. This is so awesome.
Oh, my God. Right? Look at that shit. And I'm making... Oh, fuck. I've been canceled.
Oh, my God. Right? Look at that shit. And I'm making... Oh, fuck. I've been canceled.
Oh, my God. Right? Look at that shit. And I'm making... Oh, fuck. I've been canceled.
No, this is the fucking... I've just been time out. I'm in time out.
No, this is the fucking... I've just been time out. I'm in time out.
No, this is the fucking... I've just been time out. I'm in time out.
So I should hope we should be canceled. I should be done. I should be finished.
So I should hope we should be canceled. I should be done. I should be finished.
So I should hope we should be canceled. I should be done. I should be finished.
I like the bottom more. So... So when you run out of gas, right, you look like a dick when you're walking down the street, like, hey, can you help me get gas? You fucking dumb shit, right? No one's going to pick you up, so I made this. So you put the gas can inside here, and then you hold that, and you're like, hey, you want to help me? And then... Genius.
I like the bottom more. So... So when you run out of gas, right, you look like a dick when you're walking down the street, like, hey, can you help me get gas? You fucking dumb shit, right? No one's going to pick you up, so I made this. So you put the gas can inside here, and then you hold that, and you're like, hey, you want to help me? And then... Genius.
I like the bottom more. So... So when you run out of gas, right, you look like a dick when you're walking down the street, like, hey, can you help me get gas? You fucking dumb shit, right? No one's going to pick you up, so I made this. So you put the gas can inside here, and then you hold that, and you're like, hey, you want to help me? And then... Genius.
I'm just trying to get Budweiser to be a sponsor. Yeah, that's brilliant. That was the only reason. Brilliant. Well, I already have Budweiser. That's amazing. You guys, honestly, and I'm not just saying this shit, you guys are a fucking awesome crowd, man. We had so much fun with you.
I'm just trying to get Budweiser to be a sponsor. Yeah, that's brilliant. That was the only reason. Brilliant. Well, I already have Budweiser. That's amazing. You guys, honestly, and I'm not just saying this shit, you guys are a fucking awesome crowd, man. We had so much fun with you.
I'm just trying to get Budweiser to be a sponsor. Yeah, that's brilliant. That was the only reason. Brilliant. Well, I already have Budweiser. That's amazing. You guys, honestly, and I'm not just saying this shit, you guys are a fucking awesome crowd, man. We had so much fun with you.
Some kind of boxing or UFC event or something.
What's going to be the Vegas A's?
That's going to be weird.
That's the problem with having editorial access to someone's act when they're doing a Tonight Show set.
It should be like, look, if you want fucking the Black Crows to play, they sing their song.
You know what the song is.
You know what the lyrics are.
You can't tell them they can't do something.
It's not like you're even swearing.
Like, what are you doing?
Is that what they call themselves?
That's a normal reference for a comic.
Hey, brother, this was a lot of fun.
It was a lot of fun, and I'm looking forward to seeing you on Kill Tony, and anybody who wants to check him out, Carrot Top is at the Luxor in Las Vegas, Nevada, on a regular basis.
What's the best way to find out when you're there?
Yeah, but then there's dolphins in captivity.
It's kind of gross that you're capitalizing on dolphins in captivity.
There was a lot of people that were upset about the Notre Dame using the Fighting Irish, using that little leprechaun guy.
Minor, just a bunch of people like mad about something.
Yeah, it's such a weird thing.
It's always a small group of people because it's actually organized by actual humans versus these crowdfunded ones where they show up on tour buses and they all have professionally made signs.
We get a lot of that, right?
They're all getting paid to protest.
That's a weird thing that they're doing today.
That didn't exist when I was a kid, like paid protesters.
Well, we talked about that the last time.
I was watching a documentary on it on YouTube the other day.
They followed this woman who is a professional paid protester, and she goes from free Palestine to this to that.
She's been doing it for years.
She goes from one protest to the next.
I think you took way too much shit from comedians, and I never understood it.
And she makes X amount, $100 a day, and they fly around.
I think that kind of should be illegal.
Yeah, because it's kind of a lie.
It's usually NGOs, non-government organizations that get taxpayer money, unfortunately.
But it's a weird thing where you're pretending that these people are outraged when they really just want a sandwich.
The weird thing that comedians do or they hate on other comedians, like, good Lord, we live in a world that is filled with war and famine and disease and pollution and garbage and chaos and corruption.
Unless it got hit by micrometeorites.
Because there's no atmosphere on the moon, or a very, very thin atmosphere, so it gets pelted all the time.
One of the satellites that they had hovering the moon took appropriately blurry, ambiguous photos of what they claim was the landing site, like where the lunar module was and where the buggy is.
I think the soundstage is probably in Vegas.
I think it was out in the desert.
I think it's out where they do UFO back engineering.
And you want to concentrate on a prop comic?
That's another weird thing.
You're right where the Luxor is, is right across the street from where those guys take off to go work at Area 51.
Is that really what the problem is in this world?
Everybody literally knows where they are.
You could see them from Mandalay Bay.
Yeah, when Bob Lazar was working on back-engineering UFOs, allegedly, that's where he used to fly out of.
They'd pick him up there, and he'd fly over to Area S4.
Quick little flight out into the middle of Groom Lake.
And they'd get out and they'd say, figure this thing out.
Supposedly looks like that.
It looks a little bit like that.
No, that's the sport model.
That's what Bob supposedly was working on in Area 51.
I love all that space stuff, yeah.
But when you're looking at those actual planes, I'd like to talk to one of those guys.
They tell you, though, then they're fucked.
People always ask me, does anybody ever tell you top secret information?
I'm like, no, I have a big fucking mouth.
They told me that UFOs are real.
I'd be like, look, I'm sorry.
Let's just go headsetless.
You can take your pants off.
This is a pants-free zone.
Do you structure your show, or do you just reach in and start grabbing stuff?
Do you ever do guest sets at a comedy club?
Next time let's plan on that.
You brought a box of your stuff, and one of them immediately started going off like it's an alarm.
I've smoked weed with him and then done a set and be like, oh, my God, what am I talking about?
He's one of the main reasons why I moved here.
He moved here in 2000, I think, 17 or 18, I think 18.
And I was like, where are you, man?
He's like, I moved back to Austin.
It's in the middle of the country.
I can fly here from everywhere.
It's like three hours no matter where you go.
Three hours in New York, three hours in L.A., perfectly centrally located.
He got me thinking about Austin.
And then when the pandemic hit, I was like, well, if I move to Austin, at the very least, Ron's going to be there.
I'm like, there's a good comedy club there.
But the comedy club had already closed.
I'm like, but at least Ron's there.
You know, I'll have a friend.
I just had to get out of L.A.
And he was just raving about how good.
Austin's fucking awesome.
He's also the one who talked me into opening up a club.
Yeah, it was totally Ron.
It's a really funny story.
He hadn't done stand-up in like eight months.
He goes, I'm fucking retired.
Because it was the pandemic and all the chaos.
I'm just going to enjoy life.
I'm like, you're so funny.
I just can't believe that.
And so then Tony put on a show at the Vulcan.
Tony had done like one or two shows indoors, which was crazy.
Like, oh, my God, we're doing shows indoors in 2020?
And in L.A., people were freaking out.
And so Ron was like, oh, fuck it.
I don't even know if I'm going to do a set.
And then he decided to go on stage.
The audience went fucking bananas.
He got a huge standing ovation.
The moment he went on stage, murdered.
I mean, murdered for 15 minutes.
And then he came off stage and he grabbed me by my shoulders.
And he goes, whatever the fuck we have to do, we're going to keep doing this.
You got to open that club.
That was the beginning of the comedy mothership.
Yeah, he was the original.
He was the Christopher Columbus, but that's a bad example because that guy was a real piece of shit.
He was the original pioneer that came here.
The Next Show is like strippers?
It was called Crazy Girls.
It was like comedians would host it.
It's for people that want an excuse to see strippers, but they don't want to go to a strip club.
Vegas is just such an odd place.
There's nothing like that place.
It's just got such a history.
First of all, the beginning of it, right?
They literally want a place where they can get gambling.
And then in order to have legal gambling, there's probably some sort of a deal where they let the government blow nukes off in the way.
In the middle of the mountains.
So there's spots out there where you really can't even visit because they detonated 50, 60 nukes.
That's what killed John Wayne, you know.
John Wayne was doing a movie in Nevada about Genghis Khan.
And he did that movie and a giant percentage of the people that worked on the movie got cancer from it.
Because they were literally like right down the road from one of the test sites.
But I always thought that's probably one of the reasons why they allowed them to do the gambling thing there.
They probably made some sort of a deal.
Like, yeah, you can have gambling, but this is what we want to do.
We want to blow off nukes.
Luxor was built in, like, what, the early 2000s?
Because when we filmed Fear Factor, there was like 2,003 or 4 or something like that.
So I don't think they use asbestos.
But it's just such a weird place.
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Well, they don't really know like where they're getting the bodies, but they do know that a lot of them are political prisoners.
So it's basically like people that ran afoul of the Chinese government.
So they whack them and turn them into statues.
Well, a lot of them, they call like unidentified bodies.
But the real problem is like to be an unidentified body, you have to be unidentified for 30 days.
But then in order to do the plastination process where they turn you into a statue, it has to take place within 48 hours of death.
What a wild time where people would just get on a fucking boat and travel across the ocean with no YouTube, no GPS, hope they didn't hit an iceberg.
And that was like super fancy high tech travel.
Imagine the people that traveled 30, 40 years before that.
Just going on a promise that you had a job waiting on the other side of the fucking ocean.
That's how my grandparents got here.
Probably terrible comics on those cruise ships.
That's the worst job in comedy.
It's one of those things where a guy – there's some guys that like it.
I know Alonzo Bowden does jazz cruises.
Alonzo Bowden is a – he's a great comic, but he's also a giant jazz fan.
So he'll go on jazz cruises, and it's probably perfect for him because it's like if I went on an MMA cruise.
I can talk about – it's like –
You could talk about subjects that most people in a regular crowd would be like, what the fuck is he talking about?
If you're talking about obscure jazz music, you know?
Have you heard what they're doing with AI music, speaking of jazz?
I sent it to Jamie today.
They took 50 Cent's Many Men album.
and made it like a soulful song that seems like it's from the 50s or 60s.
No, but I've heard a few other ones, not the 50 Cent one.
I sent it to Brian Simpson and he said, that is the best fucking thing you've ever sent me.
It's not even a real human being's voice.
And it's fucking good, dude.
It's good where you're like, whoa!
It seems weird hearing these lyrics with this kind of singing, you know, because it's like hardcore gangster rap music.
But with, listen to this though.
It's kind of crazy that they're doing.
Nobody sings lyrics like that with those kind of lyrics.
It's gangsta rap lyrics with an incredible voice.
AI is fucking scary, man.
If that was a dude who sang that, I was like, who's this guy?
I'd be like, this guy is fire.
But the difference is, like, this is not a real person's voice.
It's probably a conglomeration of multiple different singers' voices.
Oh, yeah, but they do that stuff.
They did that with the Chris Rock thing.
When Chris Rock got slapped by Will Smith, they tried to pretend that it was an old television show, and they did an AI version of this old television show where a guy goes on stage and slaps the comedian.
They're probably just trying to make money.
But the Randy Travis one, you're saying- It's his voice.
So what they do is like, it's my voice too.
They use AI with my... There's a whole podcast with me and Steve Jobs.
There's a whole podcast that somebody made with AI.
AI because you have Steve Jobs' voice and you have my voice.
Thousands and thousands of hours.
Every sound that I can make with my voice has already been made.
So all the computer has to do.
But all the computer has to do is just take a giant amount of your noises.
And then apply it differently.
Emotionally, slowly, somberly, angrily.
And you can just put it all together.
They just had one with me.
Do they do ransom phone calls where people call people and say, I've been kidnapped, I need money?
Yeah, it's real weird because it's super good now.
In the beginning, when we first started hearing it, it was kind of obvious because the inflections were off, like the way you would say something.
Like the inflections in that song was insane, you know?
That I'll take your life.
Watch how you're talking about me.
So that means that we associate with a soulful, incredibly creative person with an amazing God-given talent of a voice.
Even though I know it's fake, I love it.
This is great, but we know it's fake.
The Randy Travis thing is different because what they just did is he wrote it and then he can't sing anymore, but they have thousands of hours of him singing.
They take that and then just turn it into him singing.
It's just not coming out of his mouth.
It's coming out of technology, but it is his voice.
right so it's like it really is a randy travis album it's just randy tra like you can enjoy someone that can't do it anymore but it's still alive right sure you know like that guy had so many great songs oh man oh my god that guy i could go on forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever well you have to have no he's got so many i love that was my first uh big country says kenny rogers and my dad would go to see kenny rogers every goddamn
Yeah, act weird in front of celebrities.
That song, The Gambler, how many people did that turn into gambling junkies?
It made it seem so, you got to know when to hold them.
Did they make a TV movie about that?
Wasn't there like a TV movie?
Wasn't it called The Gambler?
I think there was a TV movie called The Gambler.
We'll find out in seconds.
There's something about music that was created before the Internet.
There's something about stuff that was created before the Internet that's so fascinating.
It's like an archaeological dig, you know?
Because it's like an archaeological dig.
Like you're looking at the way people used to behave and talk before the internet.
You know, it's like oddly.
Yeah, like I'm being I'm an amateur archaeologist here.
This is a different time.
Human beings from 1980 were like a different thing.
Everybody would just leave the house.
Nobody knew where anybody was at any given time.
You left the house, you were gone.
People were basically wild animals who lived in houses.
And they only knew how to behave from movies and TV.
Playing the song on the Game Boy.
It's just kind of amazing.
You know, we just people just kind of accepted.
People in 1980 were essentially wild animals.
They were wild animals who had children.
No one knew what was going on in the world.
Everybody was completely uninformed.
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I heard that Russia was going to blow us up.
Everybody's worried about Russia blowing us up.
And no one knew what was going on.
And everybody lived in bliss.
And you only knew the people in your neighborhood.
Didn't know anybody else.
There wasn't even one one-hundredth of the amount of famous people back then.
There was a tiny amount of famous people.
There was Elvis and a few other folks.
There's like Richard Pryor.
These are wild animals that have just been introduced to technology, and they're aping what it's like to be a grown-up.
Like, they're just figuring it out.
We're like the teenagers.
We're the adolescents of civilization.
So we realize that's kind of silly.
But there's stuff from then that's better than stuff that's today for whatever weird reason.
There's some music back then that hits you because, like—
you realize how special this really... Like Prince, for instance.
I remember the first time I listened to Prince, I listened to... I was delivering newspapers at the time, and I listened to I Wanna Be Your Lover.
And I was like, who the fuck is this guy, man?
This guy was coming out of nowhere.
He was a beautiful man, with his long flowing hair, and the first album is him with his shirt off, just staring at you like, what the fuck is going on?
And then, I Wanna Be Your Lover, I heard that, I was like, oh my god, this guy's talented.
But he was, like, out of nowhere talented.
Like, who the fuck was like that guy before him?
He was completely different than anybody that came before him.
That disgusting fucking thing where if you were on one person's side, you're the enemy.
Let me hear some of this.
I bet women were so confused why they wanted to fuck him.
Like, why do I want to fuck that woman?
Like, he cracked the code.
He figured something out.
Like, when you're a 5'3 dude with an insane amount of talent, and you're wearing stiletto heels on stage, and everybody wants to fuck you.
Because he was that fucking talented.
And then also, his music was so wild.
That was like, what year was Head?
Was it like 86 or something like that?
Like, what year was that?
So this was before I was in high school, son.
This is before I was in high school.
We had a song about blowjobs.
Morning, noon, and night, I'll give you Head.
Till you burn it up, head.
That's what I was, I guess.
Do you love his red head?
Love you till you're dead.
Well, it was such famine thinking back then because there was only a certain amount of shows.
How much power do I have?
Oh, he became a devoted Jehovah's Witness and as a result stopped using profanity.
Even implementing a cash swear jar at his Paisley Park studio to enforce his no swearing policy.
Witnesses believe that using blasphemous or foul language is a sin and Prince adhered to this tenet by removing swear words from his music and charging people for any foul language spoken at his compound.
Now you know it's not a wig.
Well, I'm already down like 200.
As much as I love that guy, I would not visit him.
I would be like, I can't do that.
I never thought it was a wig.
Maybe I'd talk to him once.
I would just like, like if I'm going to go talk to a priest, I'm not going to go swear.
I'm going to try to be nice.
Is that thing on straight?
But like at a certain point in time, like I don't want to perpetuate this really stupid idea that different sounds that you make with your mouth are uniquely offensive.
It's supposed to be a sound that I make so you know what I'm thinking.
And if you have words that you could substitute for these thoughts that are – if you have a thought that is only expressed through fuck you.
Isn't it weird that women can wear wigs?
Like we know what fuck you means and everybody says fuck you.
For you to say that you can't say that anymore –
You're manipulating language to make it have less nuance.
Like it's already not nuanced enough.
Like it still doesn't quite grasp exactly what you're thinking or what you're saying.
And the worst case scenario of it is when someone writes down what you're saying instead of like hearing you say it in context with the conversation that you're having.
anybody who says don't use certain words like, stop being a baby.
These are just noises you make so that we can understand.
All that shit is nonsense.
It's stupid and it was mostly created
I think, first of all, on television, right?
Television, you had advertising.
And that was the only place where there was advertising.
And so that was the only place that had a proven audience.
But to keep that proven audience on NBC and CBS, you had to institute laws where you literally would get fined like a serious amount of money if you swore on TV.
And then cable came along and everybody, you know, Sam Kinison was like HBO.
Like, why can't we just talk?
But again, this is cave people.
No one knew what the fuck was going on, dude.
No one knew what the fuck was going on back then.
When I was a kid, I was at my friend Jimmy Lawless's house and we watched Eddie Murphy Delirious.
I think we were all like...
I want to say I was 15, maybe.
I want to say I was like 15 or 16.
I couldn't believe how funny it was.
I was like, this is insane.
He's talking about the honeymooners fucking each other in the ass.
Jackie Gleason is fucking Ed Norton in the ass?
Norton, I've been looking at you.
It was like all of a sudden you're hearing someone just swearing on TV.
How am I even watching this?
Well, cable and then VHS tapes where you can go and like you could rent Delirious.
Wasn't it, too, when we had to write?
Yeah, you'd go home and put it in.
Yeah, we were cave people.
We were telling stories by the fire.
That was our form of entertainment.
I think we are the perfect people to really understand the change that society has gone through and how spectacular that change is because we were there when there was none, when there was nothing.
That was huge to have a walkie-talkie.
Bro, what's going on over there?
It was the craziest thing in the world.
You could talk at a walkie-talkie.
Or I knew a dude who had a CB in his car.
He would just have random conversations with people.
Bro, they would just start talking about stuff.
If you had a CB in your truck, you were cool.
Didn't Burt Reynolds have a CB in his Trans Am?
He's got a wonky talkie in his Trans Am with a cowboy hat on.
Bro, it is another archaeological site.
They've dug down to another time of human beings where this is the coolest guy in the world.
A guy runs from the cops in a Trans Am with a firebird on the fucking hood.
And he's talking on a CB with a cowboy hat on.
Oh, Burt Reynolds had so much charisma.
yeah his kids on the car dude jackie gleason was amazing in that that's an attention getter yeah he was so good that's called an intention getter do you remember um burt reynolds and deliverance oh yeah absolutely that was that was an insane crazy crazy that was an insane that was when you get to see him as an actual actor you're like oh this guy was good
It wasn't just Smokey and the Bandit.
The guy having a good time, super charming, great mustache, smiling at the camera.
He was fun, man, in Deliverance, man.
It was right out of him, right when he was done playing football.
That's right, he kills a guy with a bow, doesn't he?
Yeah, man, it was a good movie.
That's a very intense movie.
You had a pie fight with Burt Reynolds?
Look at the torque he got in that right hand.
I want you to watch this again.
Bro, he got hip into that?
Look at that freeze frame.
That guy should be ashamed of that look for the rest of his life.
If I was friends with that dude, I'd be like, no, you're not going to do that.
Bro, look at that twerk he got into that.
Oh, yeah, well, let's say he's a football player.
Actually, I just want to say that guy's got a great chin.
He just got bitch slapped.
But he took a great shot, I want to say.
That was salt and pepper, Jay.
Another guy that took way too much shit.
They gave him so much of a hard time.
It's just like when Larry Holmes became the heavyweight champ of the world after Muhammad Ali.
Everybody hated Larry Holmes.
I always had a good time talking to him.
He's a nice guy, and what he should have been doing all along is really what he's doing now, is his car shows.
Because that guy, if you talk to him about cars, he's so entertaining.
I mean, he knows more about cars probably than anybody I've ever met in my life.
He's got an insane collection, and he likes—
He's just a genuine fan of automobiles.
And the way he talks about it is so entertaining.
Because that's really what he wants to do.
Yeah, what happened to him?
He told this insane show – insane story, rather, of a show that he had to do with a priest and a mob guy where the mob guy was yelling at the priest and swearing.
Assuming that someone has implants is pretty wild, but I don't have that big of, I mean, this guy thought, you know, that's how girls LA,
And Jay's, like, yelling and swearing, like, doing the same – like, saying what the mob guy said.
Seeing Jay Leno talk like that was like, what?
Yeah, you can't even see him say, dang.
What are you going to do?
He was doing this super hyper violent Italian mob guy screaming obscenities at this priest.
And Jay Leno's yelling it out.
It's a fucking amazing story.
Yeah, it was a show that he was doing before he made it.
It was like back in the day.
He did some sort of a show where, you know, I think it was like a benefit or something like that where there was a priest involved and then the mob guy got mad at the priest and was yelling at him.
It's a fucking hilarious story.
But that guy doesn't spend any of his Tonight Show money.
He lives all entirely off his stand-up money, which is crazy.
So he's just stockpiling it all at the La Quinta Inn.
Someone needs to tell him.
That's like the default assumption is that everything's fake.
Where'd you get your nose done?
Yeah, it's always something.
But people that started out poor, which is like basically most comics, once you start making money, it's hard to believe that you're ever going to keep making money.
You know, they're going, oh, my God, I got to save this.
And then if you carry that into your 70s and 80s, somebody should sit you down and have a talk with you.
I'm your financial advisor, and now's the time to go crazy.
You should be looking into cocaine.
You should probably buy more cars.
Like, let's spend some of this shit.
Yeah, no one wants to believe that you're natural.
You need to start buying stuff.
You should have way more cars.
What are you saving up for, bro?
Because even them, like, giving kids a ton of money.
Giving kids a ton of money is not necessarily good for them.
Like if you look historically at people that got trust funds, it's a weird road to go down and not have any ambition or not have to have any ambition.
Maybe you do have it like inherently.
But for a lot of them, it's like they don't have to make it.
And I think that's unfortunately in this society that we live in, that doesn't seem to work.
Like in this society, it's very difficult to not be self-sustainable, not be able to take care of yourself.
And if you can't take care of yourself, you've got to kind of learn how to do it.
You can't just be constantly relying on other people because I think it hinders your growth as a person.
I think it like fucks with you.
Like every guy that I've ever met that comes from a family that like gives them, not every guy, but a lot of guys that I've met that come, I've met some cool ones.
They come from a family with a lot of money and they've never had to worry and they have trust funds and they never really have had a job.
It's like cement that didn't get the amount of water that it needs when you're mixing it.
Yeah, but it's not mutually exclusive.
There are people that have come from great families and great backgrounds that just haven't been funny.
Like, talent is an odd thing.
There's certain universal truths, like you're going to find more talent probably in harder communities.
You're going to have better rock and roll in the dingy fucking outskirts of town.
Those guys are going to be nirvana.
We were just talking about you the other night at the comedy club.
Gosh, I didn't know that.
He's a guy whose music changed radically.
If you go back and listen to Captain Jack, from Captain Jack to Uptown Girls, it's great music.
It was a huge hit, but it's a different vibe.
It's like a guy who's in love now, and he's got a supermodel for a wife, and he's worth a billion dollars.
Captain Jack was his gritty Long Island story.
I was like, fuck, that's a good song.
My parents had that album on vinyl when I was a kid.
I listened to that, and I was like, again, this is an archaeological dig.
Going to the beginnings of certain genres of music and certain kinds of music.
And back then, that's how you got it.
You heard it on the radio and you went out and bought an album and he sat there.
Look, the guy became huge after that stupid.
He's got some great... Just the piano man.
How about Scenes from an Italian Restaurant?
That is a fantastic song.
It's a story of people's lives.
Again, it's like a window into a different time.
No, that is a great fucking song.
It's just bottle of whites.
I knew it was something odd.
That's a weird way to write.
Because I used to sing it and go, why is he saying that?
Isn't that funny that some people don't like their grapes mixed?
Don't you dare serve me a blend.
Some people don't want a blend.
Is that a blend of a Cabernet and a Merlot?
Serve me a goddamn blend.
People that get super down with wine.
I got a buddy who's a wine, a legit wine connoisseur.
So I could call him up out of nowhere.
Like I'd be at a restaurant and I'd send him a picture of the wine list.
And he would like look at it for like three seconds.
And he'd be like, this is great.
What are you guys eating?
And he would tell you how to do it.
Well, he didn't get scammed.
But there was a guy that he was friends with that was a gigantic scammer.
And I don't think this guy ever got him.
But what this guy was doing was they were all these wine connoisseurs and this guy was selling really rare wine that was counterfeit.
So he had infiltrated this thing, this like wine group, and he was a con man.
And what he was doing was taking a bunch of different wines and mixing them and then trying to sell it as this like 1970 impossible bottle from Bordeaux.
And so he would age the paper on the bottles and shit.
And they raided his house.
They found empty bottles everywhere.
And he was taking labels off of things and copying them and printing them.
We were like, he owns props.
But this documentary highlighted in my eyes, at least for some of those people, that it's kind of bullshit.
You think you know the difference between really good old wine.
But this guy just tricked you.
And he tricked a lot of them.
A couple guys he didn't trick.
There was one guy in particular.
This guy was like, this is trash.
But the other guy was just raving about it.
All of a sudden, his opinion, he questioned.
I just thought this was great.
He's like, no, that's just terrible.
Oh, he's great in succession.
There's a lot of people that just don't know what to say.
You know, they meet someone famous like you and they don't know what to say.
Merlot got a bad name after that movie.
If I was in the Merlot business, I would have been furious.
These motherfuckers, they're downplaying Merlot.
I always liked Merlot, and then all of a sudden I had a shady opinion of it.
And then afterwards, they probably leave and go, why the fuck did I say that?
It's just amazing how long.
South Park has been around longer than anything ever that's still good.
It's just weird that they're still so on top of it.
They're so driven to still push the boundaries and make it really funny.
And it's been going on since shit.
The first video, I think, was 95 or 96 or something like that.
Jesus Christ, I feel so stupid.
The one that they were passing around.
The VHS one with Brian Boitano.
Because I remember people on news radio were passing it around.
And we were like, what the fuck is this?
Everybody was passing around.
We were like, this is insanity.
And I don't think it had a home yet.
I don't think it was on Comedy Central yet.
Which is the Brian Boitano?
Which would Brian Boitano do?
Meet famous people, act like an idiot, and you're like, what?
That's what everybody would say.
We'd be walking around the news radio set going, what would Brian Boitano do?
It's fucking Jesus is there.
So what was the 95 one or the 94 one?
That was like the last year of news radio.
I don't even know if I have a false memory now.
So I try to give people a little grace.
There's no Brian Boitano in that one?
It's just hilarious still.
I thought I had a fake memory.
Like, you can't do props now.
You had me thinking I was crazy.
The song was way bigger than... Right, but the show, where he says it, it was on the show.
I was like, am I losing my fucking mind?
Like, no, I know it was on the first one.
But it was just so groundbreaking.
And the brilliance of it was that you don't have to have it look realistic.
So you can get away with so much more.
Like when he stuffs, what's her face, up his ass?
When he had a slut off and stuffs Paris Hilton up his ass.
It's like, you can do that if it doesn't look real.
Like if it was like super realistic and 3D, you can't do that.
It has to look like South Park.
They can get away with so much.
They kill Kenny every week.
Poor fucker dies every week.
It's like, imagine if this is like a graphic 3D video, you know, that looks hyper-realistic.
It has to look like complete nonsense, and then we'll let you get away with almost anything.
There's like levels of realism that will allow you to get away with more if it's like less realistic, right?
Like that's why we used to allow like Roadrunner.
And Wile E. Coyote and Roadrunner would like drop dynamite on him.
Shit was always happening.
He was always getting fucked up.
That was okay because it was cartoons, right?
But you couldn't have blood.
like blood all over the place.
But if you make them look so goofy that their head's just a big circle and they have like a little stick on, then you can have blood all over the place and nobody complains.
It's like the less realistic, but we know what it is.
You killed a kid, you bastards.
And no one has a problem with it.
Which is, because it's unrealistic.
It's kind of weird, right?
It makes everything more funny because you never feel guilty laughing.
When Cartman was in bed with Saddam Hussein, or when Satan, rather, was in bed.
There's just so many scenes where you're like, there's no way to do this unless you have cartoons.
Because you would never be able to get away with it.
Like the one when they skirted around drawing Muhammad.
They kind of skirted around.
There's a truck and he's inside the truck in a bear suit.
You can do things in cartoons that you just can't do in any other realm.
It's a perfect medium for comedy.
And you can keep the kids young forever.
They're always going to be in high school.
Nobody questions the fact they've been in high school for 40 years.
It's just they're in high school.
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That'll be a fucking loser in a trailer park.
It's fun when he's the way he is now and he's like a little kid.
I like throwing hissy fits.
Because he's still a little kid, you know?
You don't want to, there's certain people you don't want to see him when they get full grown.
When I was a kid, when I first started doing stand-up, and I'm sure you too, there were prop comics.
Or when they're over the other side of it.
When things, the wheels start falling off.
The hiring process can be absurdly time consuming.
What they should do is do a 3D, like hyper-realistic version of the show.
Like just do it all through AI for the last episode and just have it the most violent, most ridiculous.
And see how people deal with it.
Like, bro, this is exactly what we've been showing you for 40 years.
Like when you're looking for a new doctor, you spend hours searching.
They wouldn't be allowed to.
I'm looking forward to seeing you on Kill Tony, too.
That's going to be really fun.
You know, last time I did it once.
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Did you do it at the club or did you do it at a big place?
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There's a lot of funny people out there.
And there's also, because of Kill Tony, people realize that if they can put together a minute, it can change their whole fucking life.
Look at Cam Patterson just got on Saturday Night Live.
I mean, look at these guys.
William Montgomery's killing it.
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There's a lot of these guys that do that show.
They do one minute and then they go, we'd love to have you back.
The crowd remembers them from the old show.
All of a sudden they have like 25,000 Instagram followers, then it's 100, then it's 150.
Like things start rolling.
It's like, oh, you have a real pathway.
If you work hard, if you really fucking focus and really just really dial it in, really work on your material, really work and do as many sets around town as you can, you might be able to do this for a living.
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It used to be it was like there was a bunch of like bad people and every now and then someone would come on with promise.
Now it seems to me to be more slanted towards people that are good.
It's like a high level or high percentage rather of people.
A lot of them are really good.
And it's – again, there's a pathway.
They can easily connect you with qualified candidates in minutes.
Yeah, don't say, set the microphone really high for my first joke.
They also have a wide pool of talent to choose from and it's continuously growing.
Well, I think for some people, they don't know how to start, you know, and they're doing something like that.
It's like this overwhelming anxiety.
And you can't believe you're on a stage in front of this audience.
A lot of them, it's their first show.
Some of them, first show, Madison Square Garden.
Imagine first time on stage.
People have tried to get people on, and Tony won't do it.
He's like, no, no, no, that's not how it works.
No, what we do is everybody just signs up, and I reach into that bucket, and I pull out names, and you can't rig it.
Well, I knew that part of it, but I didn't know they did it in Madison Square Garden.
They do it that way everywhere.
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Well, one thing they do in Madison Square Garden is they have like a legends bucket.
So they have a bunch of people backstage like Jim Norton, Big Jay Oakerson.
A lot of people did it when I was there.
And then they pull it out and then David Tell come up and do a minute of stand up and everybody goes crazy.
Or do five minutes or whatever.
But he makes it so that even if someone is terrible for the first time, it's only a minute.
And then you have Shane Gillis and whoever else is next to him making fun of it for the next 15, 20 minutes.
It's going to be fucking hilarious.
It's also you get to see like, oh, this is a crazy thing to do.
Like this idea, you're just going to stand up in front of people and talk.
And hopefully it'll be entertaining.
And sometimes it just goes horribly wrong.
And everybody's like, boo.
Bro, those New Yorkers don't fuck around, man.
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It's pretty easy to bomb in front of eight people.
That was one of the great things about the store is that you would get those eight people crowd sometimes.
The early days of the store, you would go up, you know, if you got like an 1130 spot on a Tuesday night, you might go up in front of eight people.
Because you probably won't really get on at 1130 because a bunch of people stop in and do sets.
So by the time you get up, it's probably like closer to one.
Yeah, but those shows show you what's bullshit.
They show you there's something about a small crowd shows you what you're saying is nonsense.
Sometimes you have to figure it out.
The brutal thing about comedy is you kind of really have to figure it out in front of people with the openness of failing, right?
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One of the things about jiu-jitsu, when you learn jiu-jitsu, it's really important to not be afraid to tap.
Because if you can just open your game up and not be afraid to tap and tap, you can learn more.
Because you don't do it tense, you do it more playfully, and it doesn't mean as much to you when you get tapped.
There was quite a few guys that were really good.
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It sounds totally counterintuitive, but...
But if you can just relax and not use your ego, not try to win every session, just try to figure out why you're getting caught and figure out how to avoid it.
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Tap whenever you get caught.
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But you have to experience that.
You have to get dominated.
You have to figure out what's good and what's bad.
And I think that's the same thing kind of there's a element of that in comedy too.
Possibly fail with this idea.
Yeah, like I'm gonna throw this out.
I have this is half-cooked This is how this is a weird idea that I have Mike.
Like do you think is this where we're going as a society?
Is this where we're going as human beings and there's something there and I'm trying to find it Yeah, but I got a risk not finding it That's the only way you find it because there's writing on stage That you only get
There are certain lines that only come to you when you're willing to step out on stage.
But you might fucking bomb.
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Do you say it the same way?
I've fucked up before what I didn't realize I fucked up and I said something wrong and I didn't realize I said it wrong until I listened to the recording.
I'm like, oh, I couldn't because I'll fuck words up sometimes.
So my brain is just like on autopilot talking sometimes.
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Yeah, but I mean that's what I'm saying is like you got to listen to it.
You got to listen to it to really hear because there's a lot of times where you'll say something just slightly different and that slightly different makes all the fucking.
Maybe it was like you were doing better before that, so you had more momentum.
Your show in Luxor was really fun.
God, it's been a few years.
I've got to check it out now.
But I've had a bunch of my friends come to Vegas and see your show.
Tom Segura, who looks totally white, speaks fluent Spanish and does stand-up in Spanish.
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How many dates did he do where he did, you're going to do your mom's house?
You're going to do his podcast?
Burt's a great example of what we were talking about.
One time we were at the improv, and Burt did this joke, this new joke.
The first set, it fucking killed.
And the second set, it didn't do nearly as well, and he was confused.
And I had seen both sets, and I said, oh, no, it's because in the first set, he was at the supermarket,
I know this is already on a special or something.
It was like he was at the supermarket and he was standing there talking to his wife.
He's like, God, it's so cold in here.
And she looks at him and she goes, you are so fat.
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She goes, your dick is hanging out.
Like he didn't realize that his fly was open.
He goes raw dog everywhere.
He's got no underwear on and his zipper's undone.
But the joke was, the way it was, like, she had said it that way.
The first show, he nailed it.
But in the second show, like, something was off and he forgot to say one part of it.
And I had remembered it from the first show.
You know, you got to listen.
You got to listen because it's painful.
You hate listening to your own voice.
You already know the jokes.
You're like, shut up already.
I'm so tired of listening to you talk.
But you have to listen to it because if you don't, you're not going to figure out how to do it the best way you can.
Everybody's got their own process.
I know some guys who are really funny that don't record any of their shows, and they don't write at all.
They just go up a lot, and they have ideas, and they work them out on stage.
And they're really, really funny.
You've been at the Luxor for how long now?
When you do prop stuff, how do you even come up with ideas?
Do you sit down with a whiteboard and go, what can we do?
So how do the gags come to you?
You probably have the longest residency of anybody in Vegas.
If you have to hesitate, you can fuck your hand up.
It would be funny if you tried to say those things today.
People would be like, what?
I remember I saw them there in 94.
Don't people still have ice trays?
Yeah, if you don't want an ice machine in your refreezer thing, you can just... So maybe that joke's still relevant.
I saw them there in 98 at the Rio, back when the Rio was nice.
I think it's... I have fucking ice trays.
But there's certain things that people just like pagers, make a pager joke today.
Yeah, I mean, I remember when I—technological jokes, like if you think about jokes about technology, when you date them, it's so weird.
I used to have a joke about texting.
I'm like, why are you making me read?
It's the best way to communicate.
I'm like, why are you making me fucking read?
It was the most annoying people that would want to text.
And I would just call them back.
You couldn't text Joey Diaz.
But dude, for like seven, eight years, Joey would fucking yell at you.
Joey was the last one to get a cell phone.
Now it's like you've got to wear a bulletproof vest to watch this.
Joey had a pager until like the year 2000.
He fucking kept that pager forever, man.
And you'd have to call his fucking pager.
He was just such a fun dude.
But if you did not call him, he would get angry.
I want to hear your fucking voice, cocksucker.
Why are you fucking leaving text messages?
They should just light it up.
Making me fucking text you like a little girl.
Him and Red Band would get into it because Red Band loves texting.
So Red Band was like one of the first guys to text.
He would text you back in the days, you know, when you had to press it four times to get an S. It's crazy.
And then I remember people got those sidekicks.
And some of their sidekicks got hacked, right?
Didn't like Paris Hilton, again, didn't some cooter pictures pop up because her sidekick got hacked?
It's weird how some of those places, they just fall off.
Something along those lines?
or something happened where people like stole their sidekicks and got, something happened.
Wasn't there something about that?
Some sort of a privacy concern with the sidekicks back in the day?
There was strategic releases of stuff back then, like when they would accidentally have a photographer looking at their vagina as they got out of a car.
They just get tired and no one wants to go there anymore.
Nobody has a camera pointing up.
That guy would go to jail.
Illegal and meanwhile you you don't have any underwear on that seems crazy Like why why do they have pictures of your pussy on the internet on purpose?
But it's really it's smart.
Yeah, I mean if you want to market yourself and just get more popular So more people know your name it works, right?
We're talking about them right now.
But that was like a brief moment.
But then if they last long enough, then they become like Circus Circus where they're fun.
People don't remember Pussygate.
Because there was a time where these high-level celebrity-type people were accidentally showing their pussy.
Just nothing but a curtain over raw pussy.
People that don't want you to swear, that always makes me... That was like the Bill Cosby thing.
He was always angry at people swearing.
That's one of the greatest bits.
Tell Bill to have a coconut smile and shut the fuck up.
Because you can hear it in Pryor's voice.
Well, I'm obsessed by Egypt.
My parents took me to see him live in the Sunset Strip when he was in the movie theater.
I was like 15, 16 years old.
I couldn't believe how funny it was.
I will never forget this.
It was the first moment where I realized what stand-up can do.
Because this guy was on stage and just talking.
So for me, it's like I wish the Luxor was the best hotel.
It was the funniest thing I'd ever heard in my life.
I thought about all the movies that I had seen that were really funny movies.
And I was like, there's nothing that's this funny.
And this guy is just talking.
I was looking around the theater.
I'll never forget this, man.
And there was people just going like this, just throwing their body up and down while they're laughing, holding their body like, oh, my God.
It's incredible how funny this is.
Yeah, when you're 15, you're like, no way, this is insane.
I'd stay there every time because it's a fucking giant pyramid.
Dying, like they couldn't handle it.
I mean, it is the best hotel.
We did a Fear Factor stunt where people had to slide down the Luxor once.
They had to, like, grab flags on the way down.
Sometimes you see someone performing, it's like, whoa.
There's some dudes that just know how to hit it just right.
I mean, that whole era tour, it's kind of interesting that no one's done that since, right?
There's been like the Kings of Comedy and then there's Blue Collar.
There haven't been really a lot of those movie tours like that.
Because there were tours and then they made films.
How many films did they make?
They made at least one, right?
Comedy specials did Kings of Comedy make?
So then Blue Collar did a couple, right?
Two or, how many did they do?
Oh, you mean actual specials, yeah, but they toured like crazy.
Yeah, they toured like crazy.
But they did specials, and they all went on to tour, too.
But there hasn't been one like that.
There hasn't been, you're right.
Pretty ridiculous back in the day.
But it's also like everybody's already touring.
This is like there's more people doing arenas now than I think ever.
I mean, it's unbelievable.
But it's what we're talking about.
Yeah, 20 fucking years, man.
That's a long-ass time to be doing a residency.
Nate Bargatze is another one like that.
He's doing arenas everywhere.
He's just super normal, casual.
Which one's doing the football stadium?
Oh, that's a great one-two combination.
Yeah, you can't go wrong.
Doesn't he do the Dodger Stadium by himself?
So before that, you were doing colleges and you were touring.
Yeah, Fluffy is a giant following.
I remember when we were at the Ice House, he had the record for the most amount of shows sold out in a row.
And they had a plaque on the wall.
Shane Gillis is killing it like that.
Tony's killing it like that.
Bert's doing giant places.
Segura's doing giant places.
He's like 187 pounds now.
Dude, he was at the club.
We can just tell from the photos he looks so skinny.
He was at the club the other night.
I'm like, dude, you look fucking great.
He hasn't been 187 since he was like in high school.
Yeah, but he's like healthy.
He's not like Ozempic 187.
The only time you're going to find people that are happy when you're doing good is if they're doing good.
So if they're doing good, then they get to say, hey, Carrot Top, you're looking great, man.
You're looking great because they don't feel threatened.
They feel threatened by other people doing well.
So they don't – they want –
There's no fucking way that that guy has the willpower to lose that weight.
They feel better about themselves.
Yeah, and that's a lot of people.
That's a giant chunk of the population.
Also, some people, it's really going to help them.
You know, if you're 600 pounds, that's probably a good idea.
And what my friend was telling me, my friend Brigham was telling me, who actually runs a pharmacy, he's like, the issue is the dosage, first of all, that people are getting these enormous doses and, you know, variable by body weight.
They should probably be getting a much lower dose.
And he's saying they're showing now that if you mix it with certain peptides, I think it was IGF-1.
Like you said, IGF-1, that if you mix it with certain peptides, it eliminates the muscle loss and the bone loss.
And so what you do is if you get on one of these things, if you're overweight, you're really struggling, and you just need something to just get you back on track, the idea is...
That you could get on this and then use it as like a kickstart to a healthy lifestyle.
Okay, now you've dropped 30 pounds.
You feel much better, right?
Okay, you've been eating really good, right?
Now let's get off this fucking nonsense that you're on that's making you lose your appetite and let's now just maintain your body weight.
Just keep eating healthy, and it'll go off.
Like, if you just do it the right way, you'll continue to progress.
You know, you don't have to stay on that stuff.
Because long-term is kind of sketchy.
Like, I don't know, what are you doing?
It's like, what is the actual GLP-1 chemical?
whatever you want to call it, medication, what does it actually do?
What does this peptide actually do that makes you lose your appetite?
Because that's essentially what it's doing.
It's supposed to just curb your appetite, right?
Which is the last thing I ever want to hear about.
Yeah, dude, I don't want to hear, I'm going to lose my appetite.
You can go fuck yourself.
Um, so regulates appetite by acting on the brain's hypothalamus to promote feelings of fullness and satiety.
And by slowing down the rate of which food leaves the stomach, gastric emptying.
It also influences the brain's reward system, reduces cravings for high calorie food and dampening the motivation to eat.
These combined effects contribute to a reduced overall energy intake and a longer lasting feeling of fullness after meals.
I think it's like everything else, man.
Like you could probably use it responsibly and it can probably help you if you're really obese.
But I think there's way too many people that are hopping on it that just need a little discipline.
Just get a little discipline.
But that doesn't mean that some people shouldn't use it, right?
And if they can figure out how to do it right with like peptides, then okay.
Maybe it's a healthy way for you to get into a good lifestyle.
But the real thing is get healthy.
Making some money off that stuff.
That's one that I don't have a problem with people making money off of.
I don't have a problem with them making money off of any of them.
But this one, maybe overall benefit, if done correctly, there's so many people out there that are fucked, man.
They're 500 fucking pounds and they don't know how to stop.
and they they go to counseling you see the shows they have they think about getting their stomach stapled and it is an addiction just like gambling just like anything else you need some help sometimes yeah and maybe that's what they need a little boost just something something to get you out of this terrible state and move you into a place of healthy
And then you'll feel better.
This is a problem with like you'll think better.
You'll have a better life.
You'll have more energy to do the things you like to do.
There's no downsides to being healthy.
You know, the only downside is it sucks.
But once you get there, once you get there, the feeling of satisfaction of having accomplished something, like getting your body into a condition where it's, like, healthy and you can do stuff.
You can, you know, take a fucking yoga class.
There was this one guy who got, like, the most implants.
Someone needed to talk to him a long time ago.
Mike, whatever you're doing, slow down, Mike.
I don't know if you got a mirror in your fucking house.
But that's the thing with people.
When they start doing that kind of stuff, they don't know when to stop.
And it becomes addictive.
Just like eating becomes addictive or gambling.
You could get addicted to just fucking with your face.
$21,000 to do a back implant?
It does look like he's got crazy lats.
I'd be like, that guy must be a rock climber.
If you saw that, that guy's jacked.
All the way down to his wrists.
And you're like, hey, why are those wrists on that body?
He looks great for whatever it is.
But there's some part of your brain is like, what is going on?
Does he have fake abs too?
Those are great fake abs.
If those are fake abs, let me see that again.
There it looks real that looks normal, but one of the ones that you just showed earlier look like okay Are those his real abs because if you if you could get those abs if those are real?
Yeah, you could have done the whole thing You could have done the whole thing fella Oh, no, he totally admits to it, right?
No, I think that's his whole thing.
Yeah, he's letting everybody know it's not like he's like nope.
Well, that seems totally sane.
Just how many... What is it like... What kind of damage are you doing to your body just going under 190 times?
190 times you went under?
As soon as he got out of the house.
Well, if that's true, and it may be true, they might not be able to do abs back then.
I know they do that sculpting thing where they sculpt the fat away and it makes it look like they have more abs.
Here's what the fake abs look like.
That guy's had a lot of those things too.
But like I'm saying, if somebody just talked that dude into lifting weights, hooked on the look, I think those are his real abs.
Like, he could have got a tight swimmer's body instead of what he did.
Yeah, they expose, they cut all the fat away, so it exposes more of the abdominal area.
Abdominal sculpting keratosis.
You know, carrot top, blooming one.
You're going to have to get drained, though.
You're going to have these...
Yeah, tubes coming out of the sides.
Because you just had a wound.
They cut your fat away because you want to look better in a bikini.
All you have to do is just work out.
Your body is who you are, right?
If you have a little bit of a gut, it's because you've been fucking off.
If you don't like it, lose weight.
I just don't know if you need Ozempic.
Dude, we're just about four or five years away from there being able to genetically engineer you anyway.
They're going to be able to like eliminate all obesity.
Obesity is going to be out the window probably.
At least with people who have the money for the procedure.
They'll probably just fucking lay paste around your body.
The fat will burn away and you'll fucking come out look like Chris Evans in Captain America.
The one thing that's good about not touring, though, because I mostly just work my club now, is I never feel tired.
That's going to happen, dude.
They're already doing weird stuff that's beneficial to people.
They're already figuring out how to splice genes and turn off gene expressions that cause certain diseases.
They're getting involved in some really wild research when it comes to manipulating your genome.
And once it really gets good, once they really start...
you know, curing certain diseases and figuring stuff out and they ratchet up and they can start, they'll start going.
Who wants to be good looking?
Who wants the biggest ass?
It's just going to 100% people are going to all look like cartoons.
We're all going to be cartoony.
We're all going to look like Thor, and the woman will look like Prime, Jennifer Lopez, and that's it.
How much it must suck to just unfortunately be born really unattractive.
There's people that got a terrible roll of the dice in life.
You know, they got weird shit heads.
The traveling tiredness is horrible.
You're a normal looking guy who's done some stuff.
But there's normal looking people like you and I, like Elephant Titus, man.
Imagine something like that where you could just completely change it and all of a sudden he looks like Ken.
Why wouldn't you do that?
Why wouldn't everybody get a chance to be hot?
What's it gonna be like if everybody's hot?
And what if they figure out what's wrong with people's brains?
Like, oh, we thought that you just had to let people experience life and figure out their issues and make mistakes and maybe go to jail and then get out.
We can just rewire brains.
Rewire everybody's brain so everybody's like really calm and peaceful and kind and compassionate.
And you have to sign up for it.
It's the Compassionate Program.
And everybody has to get the updated software.
And we'll all be super sweet to each other.
We're going to have to do it.
Everyone's going to be hot and everyone's going to be nice.
It's going to be a human orgy.
And then all inventions will cease.
We'll never invent a single thing after that.
There will be no more music.
Everyone's gonna be hot there's no no motivation whatsoever for you to ever like be like Prince right you know like Prince became Prince because he was five foot three and that was the way to get women to love him to be so fucking talented like that people just are blown away and you're acting like a woman they don't even understand it when they're so hot for you like he hacked the system and
You're not going to get that if everybody's hot.
You didn't talk to him at all after that?
That follows along with my theory about that kind of talent.
I always think you have to be at least somewhat insane or have a relationship.
There's pluses and minuses.
You have to have a relationship with insanity, which is probably why he joined Jehovah's Witness and decided to stop swearing.
It's like he wanted some structure, right?
He's probably had a relationship with insanity.
But for me, I mean, this is the first time in my life where I haven't toured in the last few years, the last three, four years.
man it's nice well I guess three years ago I was touring still like two years the last two years I've just since the club opened I just stopped and it's been amazing I love it perfect you know all my friends are doing arenas they send me pictures I'm like have fun I don't want to do it I fucking want to get out there I probably will once I make a new hour because right now I'm at like 40 something minutes
I don't think anybody gets that good without being really out of their mind.
You got to be out there, man.
Remember when he had to use a symbol because he didn't have the rights to use his name?
You go back to Billy Joel's song, I Am the Entertainer.
fucking with one of the all-time greats.
Captain Jack is a great fucking song.
Have you ever seen him do it live?
See if you can find an old version of that.
Can we play it and cut it out?
Yeah, let's play it and cut it out.
Find an old version of him doing it live from the 1970s, if you can, if it's possible.
1976, Captain Jack from Connecticut, live, 1976.
You've got to find the artists, man.
You've got to find the artists.
Yeah, but there's great guys right now, man.
You know, there's Jelly Roll right now.
Do you know who that guy is?
Play the Door by Teddy Swims.
Just like, we'll cut it out.
Once I get a full new hour, I'll probably do some some tour dates just for the fuck of it.
See, they're out there, man.
No, I'll give you some shit to listen to.
I'll give you some shit to listen to.
There's some great shit out there.
I love Zac Brown, too, but Zac Brian.
He's the guy that was at the arena with Shane Gillis.
And another one of those guys is just like super, super talented and incredible voice.
He was in the military, man.
He was making songs on like TikTok in the military.
One of those things, like Vine or something like that.
But yeah, but being at home has giant advantages.
And that's how he popped.
Just like right out of nowhere.
The army, like you're going to be a fucking star.
How many people is in that?
Is there a picture of them on stage?
I want to see a picture of them on stage.
Those numbers are so surreal.
It's you don't realize like how much you're destroying your body until you stop doing it.
Like, look at the size of that.
It's like the Luxor every night.
What's the biggest show you've ever done?
I can't wait to talk to him.
Well, how could you not be?
I remember when I used to work at Great Woods Center for the Performing Arts.
It was like a concert venue.
And I was there when Bill Cosby was there.
And the problem with comedy in that place is that it was outdoors.
So the inside of it was all covered.
Like there was like an inside space.
It was open air, but there was a roof over it and it was all covered.
And then there was a lawn area in the back.
And they sold tickets for the lawn.
But you could only hear the show inside the roofed area because once it got out, all the echo fucked it up so bad when it made it out into the lawn.
Do you feel weird living in Vegas?
You couldn't understand what the fuck anybody said.
You had to be in there where the speakers were.
And so everybody was furious.
They were all complaining like, oh, they never checked.
Like no one checked to see if you could hear someone talk out here.
No one knew what they were saying.
So backstage, when Dangerfield would do shows, he would get high as fuck, he would take off all of his clothes, and he would put a robe on.
That's where you go on stage with a bathrobe on, just raw dick and a bathrobe, and with slippers on.
And dude, he fucking murdered.
I guess I was like 19 years old when I was working there.
And he went up there, and I was not even thinking about doing stand-up comedy yet.
So I was just loving it just as a pure fan.
I was like, I can't believe Rodney Chaserville's just hanging out with a bathrobe on naked.
I didn't see his dick, but I saw him in a bathrobe, and I saw him go on stage in a bathrobe.
In our dressing room at the club, his wife donated his notes from an appearance on this night show.
So it's his handwritten notes and they're all framed.
One of the things I loved about him, man, is that he introduced the world to a lot of other great comics.
He introduced the world to Kinison, Hicks, Robert Schimmel, Dom Irera, Jerry Seinfeld, like a lot of comics did.
A lot of comics did those HBO young comedian specials.
No, a lot of the late shows don't.
But comics that have podcasts all do this.
Listen, I think people were going to have podcasts whether I did or not.
But also, they're just so hampered anyway.
You have to have a book to promote.
The whole show was, not to knock late night shows, because some of them are fun to watch, but it's basically, it's publicity for a bunch of stuff, right?
It's like someone's coming on to promote an album, someone's coming on to promote a movie.
Nothing wrong with that, right?
But the problem is it's not what the host is interested in.
And I think the way that those shows are, you're handicapped in a way, where you have to get on the famous people, you have to get on the rock star.
You can't just have weird people come on.
You can't have some guy who worked for the CIA come on and tell you about aliens.
First of all, you only have 10 minutes.
Each guest is in and out real quick.
You have barely enough time to scratch the surface of one or two stories.
You don't get any kind of deep dive.
The one time you wanted to help.
My buddy Sam Tripoli went there.
Well, it seems like Vegas has become more of a community now, right?
They have the Raiders now.
The gay piggy bank is what set her off?
It was a crazy person pretending to be one of the daughters.
Dick Cheney's daughter Liz are both staunchly against Donald Trump despite being Republicans, but why are Liz and Mary once feuding over same-sex marriage?
How are they feuding over that?
I was just trying to add.
I know you're trying to add, but now I'm curious.
This article is from a year ago.
A year ago someone's upset about same-sex marriage?
Right, well, what is the same-sex marriage dispute between... I don't know.
They've got a hockey team now.
Some people are still arguing about that in 2025.
Okay, and they believe in same-sex marriage, the other one doesn't?
It'd be funny if it was the other way around.
Maybe it's just like two daughters just hating on each other.
Well, I don't think you should get married.
They work on it hard.
Shannon was on the podcast.
He was telling me about it.
Oh, yeah?
He's like, champ, every time he hit me, champ.
I was like, oh, don't let him kick me again.
I've got to quit.
How did that go?
He knocked him out.
Shannon knocked him out because Shannon hit him with a jab to the body.
Here's Ray Mercer and Tim Silver.
So what happened was Tim was not supposed to kick.
They only had this authorized as a fight, but since it was like an MMA fight, they were supposed to be a boxing match.
One shot.
So what it was was it was supposed to be a boxing match.
They couldn't get authorized for it to be a boxing match because Tim Sylvia did not have a boxing record.
And so you can't fight a former world champion and you've had no boxing record.
But you could fight him in MMA.
It's a world champion versus a world champion.
They have, you can get ricotta gnocchis.
He knows that boxing is a sport that's in MMA.
You could do that.
And so they made an agreement.
Okay, don't kick me.
and I'll fight you in the cage.
And then Tim opens up with an inside low kick.
That's why Ray Mercy, you see, like, he drops his hands.
That makes a lot of sense.
Because the original fight they were contracted for was a boxing match.
And Tim's like, once I got you in here, I'm going to kick your fucking legs.
And then Ray rocks him.
Jamie, play it again.
So they're made with ricotta cheese and, you know, it's like maybe five grams of carbs in a thing of gnocchi.
Because when you see when Ray gets that inside low kick, he drops his hands.
He's got this look in his face like, what the fuck is this?
So watch.
He steps out.
Watch this.
Throws the kick.
Yeah, like, oh, I can't believe this.
Timber.
Timber.
Out cold.
Ray Mercer.
Good for him.
I mean, Ray Mercer could punch, son.
It's kind of amazing how few boxers have actually entered into MMA.
Not, you know, this was like, he got tricked into this one, but...
It's only like James Toney.
Well, I guess not if you see those Usyk paychecks.
What do you think Spence and Crawford made?
That was like a big fight.
I mean, I'm guessing in the single-digit millions, though, not fucking hundreds of millions.
Yeah, you could cheat it out, but if you really want to get fucking blasted with some carbs, lasagna will do you in.
I bet it's disclosed.
See if you can find out what the purse was, Jamie.
I was digging through a boxing forum.
They didn't believe the Usyk payout numbers.
Oh, they didn't believe it?
You mean about the Usyk numbers?
Yeah, the payout.
Oh, really?
They do not want marijuana becoming legalized in the whole nation.
No one believes it.
Oh, yeah, but that's just because they're haters.
I mean, no one proved it.
You let that money on fire.
This is the thing.
Those Saudis are known to do that.
I mean, look what they did with that live golf tournament.
Lasagna will do you in.
They just bought the tournament.
And if they did that with basketball or with anything else, they have enough money to do that with basically all sports.
Supposedly they did it with the Jon Jones fight.
So John Jones asked the UFC for $30 million to fight Tom Aspinall, then pulled out two days after they agreed.
He didn't think it would come up with the number, and they did.
Saudi Arabia was involved.
He was hoping they wouldn't meet the number.
That's what Ariel said, yeah.
Interesting.
I wonder where he's getting his information.
There's something about Italian food.
And then John, a couple days later, did the retirement thing and said he wasn't going to fight.
Why the fuck would he want to do that then?
Yeah, I'm with you.
Listen, it's a dangerous fight.
I mean, for sure, especially at this point in John's career.
When I'm really hungry, I just can't help it.
I'll take the L for 30 million.
The real thing is John's rich right now, right?
He's already a millionaire.
So what's that extra?
It's going to be nice to have an extra 30, but the reality is he's rich right now.
He probably doesn't have to work for the rest of his life if he doesn't do anything crazy.
I don't care about my diet.
And he still makes money doing his appearances and whatever else he's into.
And he doesn't have to take that ass kicking.
Not saying that he would, but if you wanted to look at it from that perspective, like if it's a tough fight, he's been through wars.
The sauces and all that stuff.
The Gustafson fights, they all take something out of you.
And you've got to know when you don't want to do that anymore.
And if that's where he's at right now, I hope he stays retired.
But then he jumped right back in and said he wants to fight at the White House.
So it's like it's so hard for those guys to let it go.
When they do let it go, it's difficult to figure out who you are.
Yeah, it gets you.
Man, we got to see where that train's going to go off the tracks when he's not found.
Train kept on rolling all night long.
You know, Joe DeRosa, the comedian, he's got a place called Joey Rose's.
It's like an Aerosmith song, son.
I mean, guy's an all-time great, though.
I mean, if not the all-time great.
That's a real good one.
Olberg's interesting.
Olberg's fast.
I'll tell you what, man.
I re-watched Dominic Reyes, John Jones, and I could see Dominic Reyes winning that decision.
That was a tough call.
It's a close fight.
I'm not saying I sat down and scored it, but I'm like, okay.
I could see the argument.
I could see the argument.
I want to know John's story.
How much coke did he do the week of the fight?
You know what I mean?
It's a sandwich shop.
How about when he told DC that?
And Joey Rose's, they import all their flour.
You know, they say there's nine years that a fighter can fight at his very best.
For most athletes, and I think they did this.
Someone was explaining this to me.
They think they did this based on tennis.
Because tennis is all about, like, fast twitch and movement and the ability to explode back and forth.
And they're not taking any damage.
And you could kind of keep your level going at the highest level for about nine years.
And then everything just slows down a little bit.
It's just too many micro injuries.
That's the thing.
And it's the same thing.
They make their bread fresh every day, and they throw it out at the end of the day.
Yeah, and when guys get to be like 37, 38, 39.
It's so hard to predict them to show up to fight.
I know.
I'll tell you what, dude, I'm not counting out Cannoneer anymore.
After he beat Gregory Rodriguez, I was like, God damn.
Put it on him, too.
And Gregory tried to take him out in that first round, man.
He went all gas.
His striking's terrifying.
They never use stale bread, and they never use any preservatives.
De Ritter's got that knee to the body that is so interesting, the way he fucking forces you to clinch and then blasts that knee to the body.
It's tricky.
So good in the entrance with that knee to the body.
And when he did that over and over and over again, I was like, wow.
That's true.
And he's like, that's the difference.
Locked on his jaw.
But perfect nickname for him too.
I know.
Robocop.
He looks like him.
Like, you can eat these sandwiches, and you feel good.
He does look like him.
That's a fight, right?
DeRidder and RoboCop's a fight.
That's a good one.
That's a real good one.
Everything goes back to comics.
Oh, he's so big.
He's so big for 85.
But so is RoboCop.
The way he handled Bo Nickel, he made the Bo Nickel look small.
I thought that was a horrible matchup for Bo Nickel.
But it was a lot of those knees to the body.
Those knees to the body were nasty, man.
He was so good at it.
It's crazy that that's rare.
He was so good at throwing that knee to the body.
He's very calm, too.
Oh, yeah.
Well, he's been through it, man.
I mean, we haven't seen him, but over in 1FC, there it is.
That knee to the body is so nasty.
It's so nice.
It's so nice.
And he took a punch for it, too.
It doesn't matter.
Oh, my.
That sucks.
Isn't that weird?
And on the ground, he's a monster.
What he did to Kevin Holland, I was like, whoa.
So that's another 85er.
I mean, think about that division.
You got Fluffy, who just, like, has this breakout performance last weekend.
You got, you know, the whole division.
Oh, my God.
It's like Ngannou at 185.
But he's fast.
Does anybody know the African dude's name?
Atier something like that.
You know what I'm saying?
Is it Gouthier?
Gouthier.
It's like a word for you.
Atabi Gouthier.
Yeah, that sounds more like it.
Like, you should be feeling good after you eat all the time.
Am I saying that right, Jamie?
She's looking for verification.
He's from Cameroon as well, right?
He's scary.
He's real scary.
There's dudes that just, God just gave him an extra little, extra little, extra little.
He gave him more than an extra little, because I was, you know, Kate's side, man, we watching these dudes, and he's punching this guy, like, in the back, and the guy's, like, going, there he is.
Yeah, we're fucking poisoning ourselves.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And he's, like, 6'4", 185, doesn't have an ounce of body fat on him.
I mean, look at that photo of him.
Just look at that photo.
That's crazy.
You know...
And the fact that it's illegal in China and all these other places, like, how is...
That's like one of those, the guy your girlfriend tells you not to worry about photos.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's a few of those guys that just, they don't even look real.
Rodolfo Vieira, he's another one.
You see him, you're like, how is that a real dude?
So here he is, man.
And this is in his last fight.
I mean, vicious power, dude.
Vicious power.
I've been watching boardwalk.
I was upset by Barada.
Yeah, he looked bad.
How about they fucking got rid of the other dude?
Let him go.
Like, you fucked up.
We're more corrupt than them?
That doesn't make any sense.
If the guy's on, like, a win streak.
So it's just like they didn't sign in time?
So it's like... Oh, so they let guys go so they don't have to promise them fights?
That's crazy.
I know, but I mean, imagine you just fought your ass off, you beat Buchecha, and then they cut you.
I was disappointed in how bad shape he was in, cardio-wise.
I think he banked on that single leg, which was getting taken away.
Let me ask you this.
What kind of drug testing do you think they're doing over there?
What kind of drug testing?
This is a problem with a lot of guys we got from Pride.
They come over with different physiques.
They look different.
Oh, yeah.
Muday signs with Octagon MMA.
Faces off with heavyweight champ.
You know, the guy's good, and we need good guys in the heavyweight division.
There's just not a lot of people.
I mean, the thing about it is it's like you've got to be exciting in that division in particular.
I know, but isn't there like something to a guy who looks like shit and fucks everybody up?
Look, when Fedor was in his prime, that was part of his charm.
Part of his charm.
Roll around his waist.
Dead behind the eyes.
That power that Roy had was crazy.
He came over from jiu-jitsu.
Everybody knew he was a black belt in jiu-jitsu.
Always competed in Abu Dhabi and the circuit.
Then all of a sudden he's throwing hammers.
Take a shot better than any living human being that's ever lived.
Who took a shot better than Roy?
He took some bombs, dude.
That guy took some bombs and absorbed them.
It's fucked up that we're feeding that to our kids.
And people loved watching him fight with that big belly.
They loved it.
That's me.
Yeah, he'd rub his belly.
Yeah, so I don't buy that.
It looked like shit.
It's just the performance was, it wasn't exciting.
If you watch that fight, that fight wasn't a good fight.
You know, Buchecha didn't wrestle.
At a high level.
If you're going to be a jiu-jitsu guy and everybody knows you as a multiple world champion in jiu-jitsu and you're fighting in MMA, son, you better have some.
And these regulators knew about it.
Take downs.
Because ain't nobody going to want to be fucking grappling with you.
An age-old conversation, but...
They knew about it for a long time.
How many times have you watched a high-level jiu-jitsu match between two black belts, and it starts in a standing position, and no one goes down at all for like 10 minutes?
They're just tying up.
There's no good shots.
There's no one threatens to take someone down.
And if you're in that business, if that's your business, you fucking know what's going on.
Everyone's afraid to commit.
Oh, when you start on your ass in class, then you never practice your takedown.
Start on your knees.
But it's also that no one wants to take a chance and open themselves up to getting caught, right?
So you don't want to dive in for a double and then get caught in a guillotine.
And you guys let them just do that to people for profit because they can make more money this way.
It's like, hey, fuck sitting on your ass.
Take me down, bitch.
You want me on the ground?
You got to take me to the ground.
I get that, too, because that's correct.
And that's one of the things that you see that's very humbling for a real good jiu-jitsu guy when there's no way he can take a guy down.
And then the guy starts beating him up standing up.
And you're just rushing forward, trying to grab him.
You can't get the fight to your expertise level, your area of expertise.
What about Don Fry and Omri Batech?
And that's a small Don Fry back then, too.
But also, there's a problem with feeding fucking 300 million people.
Pride Don Fry is a superhero.
You know?
Yeah, he got gigantic.
Even his mustache got bigger.
I saw a picture of him visiting him.
Yeah, Don was not big.
You know, look at Don.
I mean, he wasn't a big muscular guy.
I mean, obviously, super athletic.
This is crazy.
But not the Don from Pride.
The giant, roided-up Don Fry from Pride was a different guy.
This poor Amari was just trying to get him down the whole time.
He just grabbed the fence.
He grabbed the fence.
Full-on grabbing the fence.
Look, he's hanging onto the fence with shoes on.
That's the other thing.
He's got wrestling shoes, which is also kind of crazy.
This sucks.
Poor Amari.
I mean, he didn't have any fun.
It was a long fight.
What do you think Omri Butech weighed in this fight?
I'm going to say he looks around $170 or something.
That's crazy.
He looks small.
I mean, look at the size.
There's different weight classes.
Big difference.
Look how young he is.
Big difference.
No gloves.
Well, the real big problem is who's selling if it's illegal?
Any disruptions to the food source is a fucking dangerous thing because no one's growing shit.
Yeah, shit.
It was 30 years ago.
It was so crazy.
30 years ago?
It was 96.
Did it say Omri Patek's weight?
I'm looking up a different spot.
He looks like a welterweight.
There was a lot of those fights back then.
Oh, my God.
Tons of them.
Catchweights?
No, just crazy fights.
Fighting someone way smaller than them.
I thought Murillo won that fight.
We're all relying on someone else to do the growing work.
You know?
Yeah, man.
A lot of those guys from that Carlson Gracie team, they had a real solid MMA, jiu-jitsu game.
Including Vitor.
And then what are we doing?
We're fucking going to these farms and catching all the people that are doing the work and then deporting them.
Yeah, he's still got a school and like a whole network.
He's not involved in MMA anymore?
What a sweetheart guy that guy is.
Yeah, he was.
When did he leave Top Team?
That makes sense.
What's the other fight that I want to talk about that's coming up?
Oh, Joe Pfeiffer.
Oh, yeah, Joe Pfeiffer, yeah.
I like Joe, man.
He's fucking... He's got a piston in that fucking... Joe Piper thought that I was too hard on him in the commentary of the last fight.
It's just because of his potential.
That's all it is.
I just knew that he was looking for the big shot instead of just letting it come.
He was so good in the first round that unfortunately he had so much success and almost took him out that he started looking to take him out.
And if you load up with Kelvin...
What the hell's going on?
Nobody's got a chin like that guy.
A little chubby, though, Kelvin.
Yeah, he's a 70.
He's a 70.
He shouldn't be 85.
Yeah, but you know what, man?
It's just like if that guy was at the UFC PI and they gave him all his meals and he had someone babysit him and make sure you don't – just don't fuck off.
We're just like, whoa!
Don't eat anything other than this.
It's like too many guys just want to feel comfortable.
It's like, okay, but you're not going to feel comfortable losing, right?
So you're fighting a giant and this guy is coming down from an extreme weight.
First 210.
He's also a late replacement.
We need that.
I got to go back again.
I'm sorry.
Well, let's wrap it up.
We've been doing this for three hours.
Oh, yeah, we've been?
We've been doing it three hours.
Okay, guys.
Bro, we can't do anything right.
I feel you guys are going to fucking curse me after this.
I'm sorry.
No, no, no, no.
We understand.
Me and my ass.
You've got a legitimate issue.
I have a lot of issues.
There's nothing wrong with it.
Ground Control, Baltimore, Maryland.
We can't do anything right.
I always got a new one.
Dean Thomas Fight Court.
At BeMoreMMA on Instagram, too.
I'll see you this weekend in Chicago, right?
Yeah, I'll be there.
Matt Serra channel.
Be a little fair about the Bromate stuff.
It's been used since 1923 and the FDA has been telling people to stop using it since 1991.
Nice, nice.
And the website has all the addresses and everything listed?
Yes, sir.
All right.
So much fun.
Thank you, Joe.
Appreciate you guys.
Thank you.
Bye, everybody.
They would tell people to stop using it, but they didn't tell them they have to stop using it.
Well, it's up to people to do whatever they want in America.
But in America, is it the only place they use it?
I don't know about only.
I think they say Canada.
Of course Canada does.
The cartel.
This is part of the show where I talk about AG1, which I've done for years, and usually I like to talk about routine.
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That's right.
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They're our little cousin that we gotta hang out with at fucking family weddings.
And he texts you later and you're like, Jesus Christ.
He wrote a book called Hidden Wars.
Come on.
He's just like, yo, man.
He wants to talk to you about communist theory.
Like, come on, you fuck.
Yeah, relax.
Shut up.
They're fining people for walking in the woods.
You hear about that?
In Saskatchewan.
Is that where it is, Jamie?
Walking in the woods?
Yeah, this guy got fined.
He was a game warden in California, just a guy who checks fishing licenses and shit.
They told you that if you get caught in the woods, because it's so hot out, they're worried about wildfires.
There's no wildfires, but they're worried about wildfires.
Every year you worry about wildfires.
So to combat this, they fine people-
$28,000 to walk into the woods.
That's a lot of money.
One guy did it.
One guy's like, fuck you, I'm going to the woods.
And then he went viral, of course.
Which is a good move.
What's going on in the UK?
Good $28,000 move.
They're putting thousands of people in jail for social media posts.
Oh, yeah.
No, banana stuff.
Everybody's going communist.
Yeah, one person put this Facebook post or something like that critical of immigrants and saying they come over here and rape and murder our women.
He loves the woods, loves being outdoors.
And because of putting that up on Facebook, this person got 20 months in jail.
Absolutely.
20 months in jail in the UK.
In the UK.
It's fucking crazy, dude.
Bunch of sensitive pussies now.
They've arrested my friend Konstantin Kissin from Trigonometry, the podcast.
He's the one who first told me about all this because he had this conversation with this guy where he said, how many people do you think get arrested for social media posts in Russia?
And, you know, he tells them what the number is.
It's like about 400.
I'm like, oh, wow.
He goes, how many people do you think get arrested for social media posts in the U.K.
And he came upon a fucking cartel grow-op in the middle of the national forest.
And the guy was like, what?
It was like, it's 4,000.
It's true.
They don't have freedom of speech like we do.
Dude, I actually saw a police cam video where the cop was telling them that, yeah, but your post offended.
It's like, what the fuck do you mean?
I'm going to jail because my post offended someone?
Get the fuck out of here.
What is this, Jamie?
A man has been jailed?
And then they realized, oh, no, this is what they do.
for Facebook post encouraging violence.
He's been jailed for 20 months for encouraging people on social media to attack a hotel in Leeds housing more than 200 migrants.
So is this the same guy, Jamie?
I Googled man jailed in the UK for Facebook post 20 months.
This is what came up.
Interesting.
That's Google funneling you to what they want you to see.
Oh, he was talking about violence.
No, but I'm not sure.
They go deep into the woods in public land, and they set up a grow-op, and they got fucking ate.
I mean, maybe he was talking about violence.
I mean, this guy obviously was.
I'm willing to wager there were more.
Whatever the guy with the wig is.
What are they called over there?
Yeah, right.
If you can find the video, Jimmy, the guy's full on wearing the wig.
A wig, like a George Washington wig.
And so he reads the Facebook post that this guy made, you know, which wasn't nice.
But then, you know, then he says, like, for this egregious crime.
I sentence you to 20 months of detention.
And even the wording they use is weird.
It wasn't like detention.
It was like a weird euphemism for fucking jail.
It was weird listening to him talk.
It's super dystopian.
He's got a custodial sentence and he only has to serve half of it.
Oh, so the only way is to serve 10 months in a prison for doing that.
For making a post on Facebook.
Can you find the video, Jeremy?
Well, I'm not sure.
And they got, you know, the Virgin Mary photos that they pray to at night.
Find the video because it's kind of funny when you see the guy's wig.
Like, they have to wear the wig.
That's like the move over there.
The old school powdered wigs.
Wasn't it back in the day that they used to wear them to hide shit?
No, it was syphilis.
Yeah, that's where the term big wig comes from.
Because the richest people got the biggest wigs.
They all got syphilis.
So this is what happened.
They came over to America, right, in the 1492 days?
When they came back, they brought syphilis.
And syphilis just going rampant through these European cultures.
And these people have holes in their faces.
So syphilis came from here and then went back there?
This is the thought.
So there's different types of syphilis, but they're pretty sure there's some evidence that indicates that one type of syphilis was transferred from Native American populations to Europeans.
Native Americans who had already had a resistance to it, just like we had a resistance to smallpox and the flu when the Europeans came over here, and that's what the Indians did, and that's why they got wiped out.
It's crazy.
Well, they didn't have resistance to this kind of syphilis.
This is like hole in your face.
Your fucking your hair falls out.
This is the guy.
Listen to this motherfucker.
Like, full-on campsites filled with cartel dudes.
They started turning into a tactical team.
This guy said he didn't want his money going to immigrants and went to jail.
This wasn't somebody threatening violence.
They edited the post, so we don't know what else.
Right, there was an edit.
I was going to point that out.
There's something there.
Here's the thing, too.
Whenever it's possible for something like this to exist...
Whatever it's possible, there's going to be a bunch of people from other countries that edit stuff to make you more mad at the people in the UK.
So this guy had to get Belgian Malmois and bulletproof vests.
China does that in America.
There's a lot going on with social media and these kind of clips and posts and stuff.
There's a lot more going on than makes sense.
You can't bitch about America in comparison.
The whole rest of the world is way worse in terms of how you're able to express yourself, the consequences of expressing yourself.
This is a pretty good spot.
And they're getting shootouts with the cartels in the middle of the woods.
It's just not perfect.
America's everything.
It's all the things.
You know, it's just...
we're so tribalized and we have to get over that.
That's the number one problem is people decide that those people that they hate and they hate everything about them and then, okay, now you got 50% of the country that you can't associate with that's not on your team.
Like, what did you do?
And so, well, now you have to justify everything your team believes in, including shit that doesn't make any sense and shit that is probably immoral, you know, especially when you get into, like, trans kid surgeries and shit like that.
You have to sign off
on that, because if you don't, then you're signing off on these right-wing bigots that want to fucking put the Bible in every... You're a Nazi.
It's bad.
Both fucking versions are bad, of both sides, when you're looking at it from the other side, because it's all cartoonish, because most people live in the middle of shit.
We're back!
Yeah, yeah.
Hear people's fish stories.
Like, how'd you get this one?
So it just drives that wedge deeper and deeper, I think, because they're just inundated 24-7.
Like, sometimes you just got to stop and get outside or watch a TV show to decompress.
You know, no.
He's fucking getting shootouts.
That's the fucking problem, though.
You can't even enjoy... Man...
What's The Electric State?
Because it's illegal.
Damn, with the cartels.
So when California made their laws where you could have legalized recreational marijuana, what they also did was if you grow it illegally, it's only a misdemeanor.
I feel like we have political fatigue, though.
I feel like most people are tired of talking about it.
Most people are like, just stop.
That's where I'm at.
I don't want to talk about this shit ever.
It's also, it's like pretending that one side is beyond reproach is fucking ridiculous.
And if you're one of those tribal people, you have to do that.
You have to support your side.
And that just gets nuts.
You can't do that.
There's too many people.
There's too many financial interests.
There's too much money.
There's too much shit going on.
There's too much...
Why is there bromate in my bread, bitch?
Exactly.
You motherfuckers have been doing a terrible job of taking care of us.
You're not really taking care of us.
We want to think you're like a cool counselor or something like that.
It's like looking out for the rest of the kids that are on this camp together.
You know, like our councilman is going to take care of us.
They got it.
They're going to teach us how to get through the woods.
Meanwhile, they're just stealing money.
Now you can't go to the woods.
It's a twenty eight thousand.
But that's Canada.
I mean, but this is the problem with places that don't have the freedoms that we have.
Like the Constitution, our founding fathers, they nailed.
They really did.
It's crazy that they nailed that so well.
They knew human nature so well that it applies like it's important.
Three hundred years later.
They gave them that perspective.
They were so smart.
But I wonder how many of them were there, right?
So the cartel could just grow illegally.
Like how many like really well-educated people were around back then?
Think about the age.
Couldn't have been that many.
It ain't even that many now.
A lot of young kids that were writing this thing.
It's just like getting pulled over by the cops, the window rolls down.
Yeah, some of them are like in their early 20s.
Yeah, but that's middle age back then.
That's a good point.
Yeah, that's true.
You get an infection back then, catch staph.
Done by 35 over there.
Yeah, bro, the syphilis thing is really nuts, though.
But that is why that stupid fucking thing that that guy was wearing on his head, that's what that is.
So that's the tradition based off of syphilis, and they still do this shit today.
Yeah, and the guys with the most money had the biggest wigs.
That's why they call them big wigs.
And if they catch people that are illegals up there, they don't do shit.
It all started with these two brothers that were royals.
Was it brother or a guy and his cousin?
I forget.
But these guys were royals in France, and these guys were like the socialites.
They were the celebrated people, and they started losing their hair because they're freaks.
They're probably fucking up a storm over there, and they're catching syphilis.
And they got holes in their face and shit, and they smell awful, and their fucking hair is falling out.
So they just get a wig.
And then other dudes say, I want to be like him, so they got wigs.
And then a bunch of people started getting syphilis, and they covered it up with wigs.
So it's the perfect spawning ground.
But that's crazy to me that you're almost celebrating having syphilis by getting a bigger wig.
Well, you know what it is?
It's like you're not celebrating syphilis, but since everybody's wearing a wig, your wig is the dopest wig.
That's right.
You've got to have the dopest one, right?
Isn't it crazy that it's all because of sexually transmitted diseases?
It's crazy that's our first export, syphilis.
I think it was smallpox, man.
Smallpox wiped out the whole country.
The whole country.
for cartel grow-ups.
All of North America was filled with people.
They all got killed.
It was like 90% of the people got killed.
Hold on.
What year was that?
This was between the times of the first settlers to the 1800s.
And what he was saying at the time he was here, which was a couple of years back, but he was saying that it was as much as 80% of the marijuana, I think that was the number, in the country, in places where it's illegal, is coming from these dudes.
It was 90%.
For a long time, they were trying to figure out, what happened to the Mayans?
I'll tell you what happened to the Mayans.
Disease.
Obviously, Europeans, they had this spectacular civilization in Mexico.
If you ever go down and-
You ever seen any of the ruins?
Yeah, I went there, too, a couple months ago.
It's amazing.
Fucking dope.
It's dope.
Like, what drugs were these motherfuckers?
And even like the, remember the ball court they had where you could stand at one end or the other and you could hear each other talking and shit because of the acoustics?
And just the sheer size of it.
The size of it.
It's like, wow.
And then just wiped out by a cough.
Like dirty, stinky Europeans right off the boat breathing on everybody.
Swept through the people.
No immunity to it.
It's crazy.
That is pretty wild, man.
It's exactly what happened to all the Amazon, too, man.
They're finding that out now.
The Amazon was all just disease.
They had millions of people who were living in the Amazon.
And some Europeans went to visit.
I forget what year it was.
But they came back and had these stories about these beautiful cities filled with gold and all this crazy shit.
And then people went back 100 years later and it was all gone.
And they said, oh, this guy was lying.
Some white tourist.
But it wasn't, yeah.
It wasn't lies.
So now they use LIDAR and they scan over the top of the forest and they see where these cities used to be.
There's so much shit over there that they haven't even uncovered.
It's just nuts that it's just dirty diseases.
Those first people, they're fucking, hey, coming over.
They were hard-ass enough to make it here.
You know they were bringing some shit with them.
Oh, bro, you know how hard people must have been back then?
Just to even say, okay, I'm going to try it.
When someone says, hey, we've got a wood boat and we're going to go out there.
We have no idea if a storm is coming.
We don't know where the fuck we're going.
The crazy thing is we give him credit for landing here and he didn't even make it here.
And they're using all these crazy pesticides and herbs that are totally illegal, fucking super toxic shit, shit that's outlawed on farms in America.
He landed like the Indies, right?
Like the West Indies.
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purchase of a website or domain where did Columbus actually land it was like near the Bahamas he wasn't even in America I'm gonna fuck where he landed that motherfucker went out into the ocean 500 years ago on a boat we give him Christopher Columbus day I mean I'm looking at the Vikings these motherfuckers sit you know just conquered nations what going everywhere so what does it say here
The cops are like, what the fuck are you doing?
San Salvador in the Bahamas.
His first land on an island in the Bahamas.
That is not America, bitch.
You don't get credit for discovering America.
The Italians were taking credit anyway.
But that's probably when them diseases started hitting them areas.
Smallpox does?
Interesting.
So the 6th century.
And then was it mostly smallpox that killed off the Native Americans?
Or was it a bunch of different diseases that we brought with us?
17th century European settlers bring smallpox.
But it's effective.
There's an amazing guy named...
What is that, Jamie?
And so they're using it.
European settlers were here with Christopher Columbus.
That's in the 16th century, not 17th, right?
If he landed in 1492.
So you're getting this weed that's infected with these pesticides and herbs.
Right, but it's probably like how many people came, you know what I mean?
Like when Christopher Columbus came, that was, so this is 1492, he lands in the Bahamas.
100 years.
Yeah, how many people were interacting with them?
You know what I mean?
Once they started coming over here regularly, when did folks start hopping in boats and coming over regularly?
Like the early settlers.
I wouldn't have did it.
No fucking way.
No fucking way.
Those people were animals, man.
You're going to take a chance.
This dude knows how to get across the ocean in a wooden boat using a thing.
Like a sextant where you stare at the stars and try to figure out where you are.
There's no rules, man.
And he's drunk all the time.
Jamestown was 1607 when that started.
That's when it started, huh?
Interesting.
Well, that would be...
So that probably makes sense.
So like 100 fucking years they talked about it.
It's illegal weed.
Isn't that kind of crazy?
I like in Vikings.
They talked about America for 100 years before they came over.
Oh, no shit.
Yeah, so it's like he lands in the Bahamas, and then 100 years later.
Oh, right.
And then they start the first colony.
I wonder how long it took them just...
If they had it legal, you could have inspectors who could check the farms and the factories.
to get across.
Can you imagine what it would be like setting up a colony in a new country and you know there's people with bows and arrows waiting in the bushes.
Did you know that, though?
They knew that there's fucking Indians waiting for them?
Oh yeah, everybody knew.
They knew that this was inhabited and they knew the type of people.
They'd come back, whether it was Columbus' people or whoever was here came back and they had all these crazy stories about
you know, interacting with also the craziest stories were from there was a
One of the guys was a priest or something, some holy man that was traveling with Columbus who had detailed descriptions of the horrific shit Columbus and his men did to whoever the indigenous people were.
Oh, horrible shit.
They were saying, if you don't bring back your weight in gold, we'll chop off your arms.
They were chopping arms off, dashing babies' heads on rocks.
Jesus Christ.
They were forcing these people to bring them gold.
It's like, do you remember that guy's name?
Father something or another.
So he had his memoirs of his time over there with Christopher Columbus's people.
And it was horrific.
So these people that we celebrate.
I mean, this is one thing that the wokesters got right.
It'd be just like alcohol.
You know, if you want to celebrate Christopher Columbus.
Like, Christopher Columbus, we have Columbus Day.
Be careful who you're celebrating.
If that father, that priest, was telling the truth, you're celebrating a monster.
You're celebrating literally like a mass murderer who would go to another country.
I mean, but it's believable when you think about history.
If alcohol was illegal, we'd all be fucked.
Bro, that's all they did back then.
I mean, everybody conquered everybody at one point or another.
Yeah, and when there was no internet, you could get away with a lot.
A whole lot.
No one knew you were coming.
You're coming with boats.
You're fucking people up.
You're taking all their shit.
And when you land places, you're, like, it was, this is probably the only time in history where a boat can land in a place and it's not hostile.
We'd be drinking moonshine.
In America, when boats come here, it's like, oh, we're good.
But for the most part, most boat travel's not hostile.
It's like, oh, look, a big boat full of people.
They're going to come eat at our restaurants.
And strange people from a different land are going to come and enjoy what we have to offer here in Portugal or wherever you are.
You know what I mean?
Some people are counting on that.
Bro, it used to be a boat showed up.
You didn't know it was on it.
The war horns.
You hear a fucking shell.
Fuck a nice glass of wine.
You got to wake up, put your armor on.
I can't believe I got to do this.
Bro, that's how they live forever.
That's how people live for thousands of years.
It's nuts.
It's amazing we made it as far as we did.
I don't know if we'll do another thousand.
You're drinking fucking straight-up alcohol, nasty shit, because that's all that's available.
Not with these TikTok little motherfuckers here.
No, there's a lot of that.
And there's an encouragement of men to not be strong, which is always weird.
That's always weird.
It's always weird.
There's that encouragement.
And it comes from people that aren't strong.
They want more people like them.
People that don't want more like us.
And when they're in control of social media, that's where things get weird.
The fucking acolyte.
Well, I mean, they made the Jedi.
Yeah, they gave him glasses and now he can talk.
Like, now it doesn't make any sense that you would go back and forth between being the Hulk and being Bruce Banner.
Yeah, yeah, because he's all in the same.
And that's what people are doing right now.
That is a weird choice to give a guy role to a girl.
It's a weird choice because there's so many girl roles in superhero comic books.
There was tons of chick superheroes.
Especially in the X-Men.
It's dumb.
It empowers the people that are criminals.
The X-Men had plenty of badass women.
They got to do that over right now.
It's like you've got Superwoman.
There's plenty of different characters you could play.
I don't know why.
Unless you're trying to prove a point.
Unless, like Matt Serra says, I know who you voted for.
Well, you said it before.
Bro, I used to love the Silver Surfer.
Did anybody ever do a Silver Surfer, like a flat-out movie that's any good?
It's the money.
Why wouldn't they have a Silver Surfer movie?
I mean, especially a cosmic character.
Yeah, he's zen as fuck, never gets upset.
I mean, he basically sacrificed himself to save his planet and his girl.
Bro, the Silver Surfer is literally the coolest comic book guy.
They're going to affect the big pharma.
He made him look cool in this.
They did a version, a whole episode of the Avengers, or a whole movie of the Avengers on the Silver Surfer.
I forgot about that.
This was Fantastic Four.
This was pre-The Avengers.
This was when Jessica Alba was the Invisible Woman.
And we all have seen from COVID what the hell kind of power big pharma has.
And Captain America was the Human Torch.
Yeah, he was good.
I don't remember.
It might have been all CGI.
I thought they nailed it, I thought, in this.
They nailed it.
The voice was Laurence Fishburne.
Yeah, they're worried about it, but I think the alcohol people are worried more.
I want to see it, though.
Yeah, they were good.
The alcohol people got us twice.
Isn't it kind of weird that we still want to see the same fucking characters over and over and over again in different versions of the same movie?
Isn't it kind of weird?
I understand, but it's like there's a little thing of it that it's like seeking comfort in this thing.
They were fighting.
Remember, they fought MMA hard, too, Budweiser.
Oh, it's Superman again.
Because, like, try coming up with a new Superman today.
People are going to be like, fuck you.
Like, some new kind of comic book guy.
Like, no background at all in comic books.
So you come up with a superhero-type character now in a movie.
No one's going to watch it.
I don't want a new one.
No one wants a new one.
Everyone wants the Hulk.
Everybody wants Spider-Man.
You want to see Spider-Man.
How many different dudes have been the Hulk?
Oh, yeah.
Four or five dudes have been the Hulk.
They got rid of him because he wanted to keep the Hulk.
like the hulk you know what i mean they didn't like it yeah that was my favorite version of the hulk ed norton and he's running through the favelas in brazil yeah yeah that was awesome when when the hulk starts running through that factory and he's smashing through everything right hell yeah that's when it was like see you kind of knew it was you're looking at it like the cgi it's a comic but as long as you keep it kind of darkly lit
Because of boxing, you know?
You know, don't show me too much.
They got better with that.
They got better with the... That wasn't too long ago for Hancock.
Kind of crazy that Bud Light became a sponsor years later.
That was a superhero that was just out of nowhere.
I can't watch anything with this fucking guy anymore.
How long did the prohibition last for?
You saw what the hell, his wife has humiliated that poor guy.
Yeah, publicly.
yeah that was weird it's uh and he was universally loved and now he's pretty well almost universally reviled well you know sometimes chris and then everybody loves that chris rock his music shitty i was about to say his rap is so trash garbage sometimes you hit your horse to the wrong wagon yeah and that that'll take you on a bad journey son
Prohibition on alcohol, that's a good point.
Taking a bad journey.
And you might hang in there for a while and keep your sanity for a while.
But eventually, if you're living with someone who's not right for you and there's a lot of tension, which there seems to be with them, a lot of weird shit.
I think it was 10 years.
At least the son.
Imagine if you had to camp out with your best friend for the rest of your life.
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For 13 fucking years, alcohol was illegal in this country.
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You would have to really be careful.
I have to pick one dude, and I'm going to be able to camp out with him for the rest of my life.
Just me and him in a tent for the rest of my life.
And you get to fuck him.
You're saying personality.
Yeah, but now you add in sex and the fact that you're not even the same gender.
You know how crazy that is?
Well, you know, you just got to be picky, and some people aren't.
Some people just settle for hot.
That's the problem.
Settling for hot is a real problem.
A grown man telling you you can't have a drink.
With the chart, with the hot and the crazy chart.
Fucking bunch of sad it's hard for everybody out there.
Yeah, it's a it's a weird time and now everybody's on dating apps Everybody has cultures Every swipe of the finger today, it's like socially acceptable to be a hoe.
Same thing with a smoke.
I think it's also it's there's real
concerns that intelligent people have about population decline.
That sounds kind of crazy.
Like, well, we're not going to population decline.
There's plenty of people.
But the problem is people are not having nearly as many people, like replacement people.
It's like not enough.
Like in order for a society to exist at the same numbers is essentially everyone has to have kids.
What's the problem with that?
But a giant percentage of people like in our generation and younger generations are not having kids.
They're deciding to opt out of it and just focus on their career.
Exactly the same thing.
It's weird.
And you add into that microplastics.
That are killing everybody's balls.
It's good for you.
Exactly the same thing.
It's like a thing that we don't see coming.
You know, we don't see it coming, like a real population.
But places like Japan are freaking out, man.
They're really worried about it.
South Korea, same thing.
We're just delusional about it.
Yeah, it could be a real problem.
Well, it just makes sense, man.
If you've got everybody just wants to have a career, and if you can't focus on your career because you have kids, you put your kids off until you're in your late 40s.
What's the number, like the 2.1 or something?
You have to have 2.1 kids in order to maintain just the current level of population.
Someone was telling me that in vitro fertilization, which a lot of women use, that those hormones that they have to give you are linked to cancer.
And we put it under the label drug, which is alcohol.
Is that true, Jamie?
Can you look that up?
Because someone brought it up to me and I was like, I don't know if that's really.
He had a lady that went deep into that stuff.
There's no strong evidence to say this is AI.
AI is working for the government, man.
Alcohol is a drug, dummy.
Okay, let's see.
National Institute of Health says transient increase in the risk of having breast or uterine cancer.
So as soon as you start admitting things like that to me, and this says no conclusive evidence that fertility.
Everything's a drug.
Six years old.
What does it say?
It says doesn't.
Why am I skeptical?
I don't know.
Opens your mind.
Maybe I'm skeptical because you're using Google.
Well, I mean... I know, but you know what I'm saying?
That's the place to use.
But I would wonder how much of that would be available.
Like if someone's some sort of an alternative doctor or someone who's stepping outside of the lines and saying I'm treating a bunch of cases of cancer, like where would you even find that guy's work?
We're drinking espresso.
I don't know.
No idea.
Twitter?
Yeah, that's the problem, right?
You see a thing on Twitter.
You're like, is this guy a quack?
Is this guy real?
But a person told it to me that I trust.
And I was like, really?
That stuff causes cancer?
Because you've got to dose yourself up with a bunch of hormones when ladies do that in vitro fertilization thing.
We just stop it.
It's just knowing how to use each drug.
Back in the day, we would just find it on the street.
Well, I don't think you'd ever be.
And the only way you know how to use it is if people are honest.
You had a different neighborhood.
But those guys were right.
That's what's crazy.
It's like old juice heads were right.
In a lot of ways.
There's a lot of old juice heads in the gym that were looking jacked in their 50s and 60s.
What are you doing?
Bobby just stays on D-ball.
Bobby's on a cruise.
He's got D-ball.
You'd meet people in the gym that would tell you what they do and how they did it.
And then you had to take advice from those folks.
And a lot of fighters got their... You would think by the time a fighter gets to the UFC...
It's the right stuff.
And if they do studies, you have actual scientists who aren't being paid off to come up with some sort of negative or positive result.
You know, like, wow, he's probably got a professional team behind him, a bunch of like really organized folks.
Like, no, no, no.
These dudes come with sketchy characters.
Like super sketchy connections to the streets.
I used to just read as much as I could, you know, if you were going to try to get as much information as you could about what you're putting in yourself.
The best guy is online is Derek.
I know, but he's like the best version of a pro scientist.
You know?
Smart motherfucker.
I heard that before, but I don't have that problem for some reason.
I go donate the blood.
No, I get nervous.
I got checked a bunch of times.
Like, make sure I'm okay.
Yeah, I do the same.
You know, that's what it's supposed to be.
Do you have unvaccinated blood?
Do you have pure blood?
They pay me double.
Three times.
Because you had to work.
I had to work.
They didn't make me.
I don't fucking do no shit.
You gotta travel, though.
For all of us.
It's all just fucking co-opted by money.
If you're traveling all over the place.
Fuck's sake.
Some of these countries weren't letting him without it.
Yeah, they weren't letting him without it.
When you fucking make someone take something because the only way they can use your service is if they take because you think that this thing is going to work and it doesn't work.
Shouldn't you be able to go, fuck you, you made me take this and this thing didn't even work.
It didn't even do any of the things you said.
I feel bad for the people.
It's crazy what you can get away with in the world, especially during something like a pandemic, you know, where everybody just agrees to different rules.
Did you know Maryland doesn't enforce it?
Because that's what happened during the pandemic.
Like, what happened today?
There's people that are dying with COVID.
So there's people that are dying and they also have COVID.
But they're dying.
And that's the difference.
And that's why the numbers for the deaths were elevated so high.
Never heard that.
Maryland didn't inform.
Oh, a shark attack.
Check the fetus.
He's got COVID.
Yeah, like everybody died of COVID.
Because they were financially incentivized in people to treat deaths as COVID deaths.
Same with the ventilators.
They were getting more money if they had somebody put on a ventilator.
Well, that's good.
Yeah, imagine that.
There was so much craziness.
Like, you know, when we were saying we hope that someone is in charge that knows exactly what to do.
No, there's a lot of times in history.
You have no idea what the fuck they're doing.
And then financial interests get involved.
And then they come up with, we're going to just make everybody take this.
Yeah, there's some talk about Trump legalizing marijuana now.
This is going to be amazing.
By the way, just take it once.
Two, three times.
They can't take it to court.
Something fucks up, no liability.
Because they called it a vaccine when it's not even really a vaccine.
It's a gene therapy.
It's a totally novel, new thing that you're giving to 300 million people just in this country alone.
By the way, how crazy is that?
Bro, that's so nuts.
You know how many people have stories where they let their kid take it and then the kid has a stroke?
They're all over online.
Yeah, there's undiagnosed myocarditis out there too, I bet, where people just feel tired all the time, feel a little fatigued.
Definitely not.
Jamie got COVID real early.
Also home of ground control.
Jamie survived it early, so I knew it was not that big a deal.
Good job, Jamie.
Took one for the team, Jamie.
Jamie toughed it through.
I was like, Jamie seems okay.
All right.
And then Tony Hinchcliffe got it.
He got it worse than Jamie.
He had it a little longer than you, right?
I don't know.
You don't remember?
Yeah, man.
The creepy thing is these motherfuckers, they meet and then they say, there will be another pandemic.
And you're like, what?
Well, what about Biden and friends were trying to sign one with the WHO where they had control over being able to shut the U.S.
In all this nonsense.
Thank God we pulled right the fuck out of that.
What a dumb idea.
Hey, guys, I guess I missed the memo.
What's wrong with you, Matt Serra?
Let some giant global health organization.
Have say over our country.
That's fully corrupt.
Let these motherfuckers run the country because Bill Gates is the number one donator to it.
Just nuts, man.
It's just nuts.
Crazy shit.
I missed the fucking memo.
I've known you for 30 years.
We didn't talk about this at all.
Well, I saw Matt wore his last time, and I said, well, that's it.
Everybody's just so used to him fucking throwing his bombs and his kicks.
Well, you know I'm on your side with this.
We had that talk last night.
He's a monster.
And there's guys, and you know this because you work with Merab, there's guys that reach this level of discipline and they achieve a level of cardiovascular performance that's just above everybody else's, and then they maintain it.
The green light.
I'm shamelessly self-promoting.
Like, they get that advantage, and then they keep pushing it, and they slowly keep adding on to it.
Like, you're seeing Murab now.
Oh, my God.
Particularly in the second O'Malley fight.
You're seeing just, like, a totally different beast.
He's super confident.
Non-stop, and you can't keep up with that.
You know, he's like, it's just hard work.
It's just hard work.
I believe that, but, man.
And then Dean came down.
Yeah, but state of mind, too.
But it's the mind.
Amount of hard work is extraordinary to get to that level.
And I think Drikus is kind of a similar thing.
I go, motherfucker.
I think that dude works so hard that he can go out there and fight full blast, which is what's weird to what you watch him fight.
Like sometimes it doesn't look as clean.
That was the earlier fights before he got his nose fixed.
So he got his nose fixed so he could breathe out of his nose.
He goes, I got to represent.
Changed everything.
And then went on a tear after that.
That's when he crushed Whitaker.
The Whitaker one was shocking.
And then you came in with it.
The Yoel Romero fights.
That guy's durable as fuck.
To watch him just flatten him like that, you're like, what?
Whoa, hang on.
The only thing is that we didn't talk about it.
It's interesting, the Izzy fight.
I went and watched that again, and it seemed like Izzy had an advantage up to a point, but then the pressure got to him, and then he got hit with a couple of those long shots.
That's crazy.
It just looked like he just didn't have enough in him to fight his way out of it.
That's crazy.
When he went down, he got submitted pretty quickly afterwards, but
I would wonder what is he in his prime, how that fight would have looked.
Because that would have been a lot different.
I feel like I'm left out of that.
the loop here.
You know, is he in his prime when he was, you know.
Also, just hadn't been damaged.
And there's the damage of training.
But, like, is he Paulo Costa?
That's prime.
That's prime.
That's also motivated Izzy.
I wish we had some extras.
Like, fuck you, Izzy.
He was sitting down on his shots, Izzy, yeah.
I mean, put him away quick and then dry humped him.
You know?
That was terrible.
Don't do that, kids.
But that Izzy, that would have been very interesting to see him versus Drekus because he could have handled that pressure.
Because that pressure is bananas.
You know, like the Anthony Hernandez fight last weekend.
Shit, I had an extra one, too.
He looks like a world champion.
Spoiled it for you guys.
Sorry about that.
No worries, no worries, no worries.
No, I was out.
That would be amazing.
I didn't see it yet, but I watched it as soon as I got home.
I was super impressed, man.
And that whole division is like, Jesus, there's so many different contenders in that division, you know?
You know what's so funny?
You got Bohalio.
This whole fight card this weekend is sick.
Strickland, like, what's going to happen with Strickland?
I had one that was still in the package, and I was like, should I bring this?
They suspended him indefinitely for punching some dude?
Yeah, but you can't jump into a cage and punch somebody.
That's what I'm saying.
I'm like, no, I don't need this.
It's like, oh, boy, here we go.
Yeah, he got his two seconds.
I think you should have.
But Sean is crazy.
He's really late, man.
He is what he sells.
You know what I mean?
It's definitely not an act.
You ever see when that guy tried to, well, the guy who's like running from the cops and he was sneaking around his house.
The dude had like crashed DUI and then jumped out of the car and was running into the wrong fucking yard right into Sean Strickland.
He's sitting in the house waiting to shoot somebody.
He's so excited.
I mean, it kind of feels like it is legal right now.
That was like the universe telling me that you needed one of these shirts, and I ignored it.
The world was a better place.
Or teach everybody martial arts.
I mean, that would help.
It just sucks when a guy who is into martial arts like Strickland does something like that.
That's great.
We're talking about stuff.
This episode is brought to you by the farmer's dog.
I want to fucking.
So they're laughing at the kid's blindside?
Oh, they're like, in other words, they want a response.
So my first thought was directed towards the father, who might have taught this kid no manners.
I wanted to do a whole kid to fucking Loki and that motherfucker.
He even says on the video, oh, you're going to get some clicks on this?
Hey, you want some clicks, you little fuck?
And he, you know...
Oh, you see my daughter.
No mercy for the 12-year-old.
Fuck that little fuck.
You know?
Joe, that's not right.
As you think about, like, the industry of, like, trying to keep bodies together, what industry, what sport provides more patience than jujitsu?
Well, it should be.
Oh, goodness.
It's a superpower.
If you think about it, when you get to a certain point and you've been training for a certain amount of time, you're going to get fucking banged up.
What sport benefits more from guys in their 40s and 50s with peptides and stem cells?
Oh, yeah, for sure.
Jiu-jitsu brings a lot of patience because everybody's hurt.
Regular 40-year-old dudes aren't hurt all the time.
You know what I mean?
They usually work.
They go into an office.
They don't rarely get knee injuries.
I'll tell you.
40-year-old jiu-jitsu guys, everybody's knees are fucked up.
Everybody's fucked up.
Everybody's fucked up.
Everybody's got a hurt shoulder.
Everybody.
Everybody's fucked up.
And what does it look like?
Real meat and vegetables that are gently cooked to retain vital nutrients and help avoid any of the bad stuff that comes with ultra processing.
It's so stupid.
And it's not just random ingredients thrown together.
Their food is formulated by on staff board certified vet nutritionists.
I can't believe we're still dealing with this.
terms at DraftKings.com slash promotions.
These people are experts on dog nutrition, and they're all in on fresh food.
You can't do that.
I haven't rolled at all in a year.
No kidding.
I've had a reoccurring knee issue and a reoccurring lower back issue that I'm trying to get right before I do anything stupid again.
You know what I mean?
Oh, that place is great.
A lot of positive results from that place.
I know a lot of people went down there.
I'm able to throw my right hand again, which I used to wave like fucking this.
And now I'm just, I'm so happy I'm able to do it again.
Bring it back to the Camaro fight with Shamayev.
Camaro's been down there too.
Yeah, it's a lot of UFC guys going down there.
The Farmer's Dog also does something unique.
And now that CPI in Tijuana is a closer trek.
That place is really good, and the UFC is affiliated with them now.
Okay, very interesting.
Yeah, they're really good.
I know a lot of people.
Eddie Bravo's been down there multiple times, but I know a lot of UFC fighters that have been down there.
They portion out the food to your dog's nutritional needs.
South America knows how to do that.
This ensures that you don't overfeed them, making weight management easy.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Oh, yeah.
You got me addicted to these fucking things.
I took my whole vacation off of them.
And like I said, I was wondering what it was going to feel like.
I was like, oh, my word.
Nothing.
It was fine.
It was nothing.
I just think it might be a biological thing.
Some people, cigarettes just get them, and they just want to smoke cigarettes every day.
And some people, nicotine gets them.
I think some people could just stop taking nicotine, and they seem to be all right.
And thankfully, I seem to be one of them.
I feel so great.
Research shows that dogs kept at a healthy weight can live up to two and a half years longer.
It's terrible for playing pool.
If you take too many of them, you're shaky.
You don't have a good connection between your movement.
You feel weird when you're shooting.
You don't notice it when you're talking because it is a stimulant.
So it's stimulating your brain.
It actually helps brain function.
Nicotine itself is a nootropic.
It's a nutrient that helps brain function.
It'll help you pass tests.
I think it helps my ADD a little.
It probably does.
Terrible for pool, though.
Oh, do you?
Yeah, I'll take some, too.
I'll give you guys a jar of them when we get out of here.
How many do you take?
I take three.
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I could see either one of these guys win this fight.
I mean, I would have thought by the time I just turned 58, I would have thought by the time I'm 58, we would have figured this out.
This offer is for new customers only.
Well, it's going to be interesting to see if it gets into deep water.
That's what's going to be interesting because I know he started training with Kalavita.
Yeah, for his conditioning.
Yeah, he went to Sam Calavita, who trained T.J.
Dillashaw.
He works with Aaron Pico.
Armand Saroukian's doing it with him, too.
And that guy's a legend, man.
This episode is brought to you by Squarespace.
Arman Saroukian, who also just pulled out of a fight.
But Arman said the problem was Hamzat over-trained for every fight.
And he would always come into fights worn out.
Fun fact, JoeRogan.com runs on Squarespace.
And that was the difference between work with Calavita, that they're monitoring his actual recovery.
They're making sure they're doing everything scientifically.
Calavita, I think his background is in cycling.
Like it was in, you know, endurance sports.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm familiar with him.
I know who he's I know he was TJ's guy.
Nobody knows more about cardio than cyclers because it's all cardio, the whole thing.
It's all cardio.
Cardio and EPO.
Yeah, they know that, too.
Well, they know how to recover, and they know, like, what's your threshold, like where you should be.
So he's using real science to do it, and he's like, this is the first time he's ever been through a camp like this where he's coming in fresh, where he's not overtrained.
Well, we're going to see.
Yeah, we're going to see.
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He was saying that for both guys.
Kamaru was coming on strong in that third fight.
Big T was coming on.
That was a five-round fight.
I bet the betting would shift.
He started coming on at the end of the second.
Yeah, I mean, but it is impressive the way that motherfucker can shoot from halfway across the octagon.
Do you know Pat Downey?
All right.
Well, he's, I've known him since he's a little kid and he was in Kamzat's camp and said, like, cause he said his wrestling, he goes, wrestling is like real good.
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He said, but, uh,
He said, like, he said the guy's a beast.
He said he's strong, and he said he's a high-level wrestler.
Schaub was down there watching him train.
And, you know, they asked Schaub to spar with him.
He's like, fuck you.
I'm not doing this anymore.
And he said Hamzat was just lighting people up.
He said he looks really good.
The thing about Hamzat is...
All these guys were 170s, right?
You're right about that.
But with 170 comes speed, right?
And Hamzat's speed is a factor.
It's a big factor with his hand speed.
People forget what he did to Kevin Holland, the way he could ragdoll guys on the ground.
But what he did to Gerald Merchardt is pretty fucking spooky, too.
That's a really good punch.
He's a very well-rounded guy.
He's fucking good standing up, man.
He's good standing up.
And that's where it's going to be weird.
That's where I want to see.
Because Duplicy makes everybody look stupid.
He finds a way to get... He makes every mistake.
But they're not mistakes.
For sure, he has a lot of power.
But someone did a great breakdown of what he did with Robert Whitaker, where he set up that right hook.
And the way he was recognizing that Whitaker had this certain pattern.
It's not like it looks weird because he just moves different than everybody else.
He's stiff.
Whatever it is, it works.
And when he hits you, it's like he can't hit by a car.
He's got to have power to make guys so nervous about getting hit by him.
Bro, that cat is so big.
He looks like a fucking heavyweight when you're next to him.
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How are you a middleweight?
How are you 185 ever?
I'm so slippery as fuck.
If you don't want to cheat, you can bend the rules.
Because it's not cheating.
Well, when you've got a guy who's got, I mean, that actually might not be a bad idea.
Give him those tracksuit things.
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Might not be a bad idea.
Because you totally can do that.
No one can stop you from doing that.
Yeah, likely he would have survived because Camaro survived it too, right?
It's possible to survive.
Unless he just, like, what he did to Kevin Holland was kind of crazy.
He just went one to the other.
World class.
Yeah, Gilbert's dangerous as fuck everywhere.
You know, it was interesting watching him roll with Rockhold.
Because I know that, you know, it's not like Rockhold was in camp and prepared for this.
And this is Rockhold at its best.
I don't even know how much he had been training.
But Hamza just...
handled him.
Just handled him.
And we know how good Rockhold is.
Does he have the confidence to go for it and possibly empty the gas tank and get the finish?
And if he doesn't, how fucked is he?
You can't adjust now in the world championship fight.
You've got to just hit the gas.
You know what I mean?
That's the question.
Can he sprint for five rounds?
Because we know DDP can.
Him and John Strickland, they were ready to have heart attacks at the end of that fight.
They were ready to have heart attacks.
This is probably the most elevated heart level we've ever seen in a world championship fight.
Getting his nose busted like that.
Uh-oh, here it comes.
And fighting with staff.
He had staff?
He had staff to the second fight.
That's why he was listless.
He was on antibiotics and everything.
He was all fucked up.
It fucking is terrible, man.
That happens all the time.
All the time.
Meanwhile, that happened with Marab.
He fucking- Marab is too tough for staff, too.
Here it comes.
He's so different on antibiotics.
He's outworking everybody.
That's crazy.
That was the- Which fight was that?
The Sarah Slice.
With the staff?
Was it the Umar fight?
It was the Umar fight, which is crazy, because that was Pace that melted Umar, and he's doing it while he's on the NFL.
His back was hurt, too, for that, wasn't it?
Yeah, yeah.
There was times he wasn't sleeping through the night.
He couldn't.
That is nuts, man.
Oh, I don't know.
I don't know about running through them.
You guys are goofing on me.
You've got to be real careful with hubris.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's not Marab saying that.
I can see it in Midtown right now.
John Wood said that?
Well, he, I mean...
Marab could have had leg amputated.
Jesus, dude.
That's Marab, though.
I don't need leg.
They could have taken my leg.
I only need one leg.
He said, oh, he was just taping it up and going back to practice.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Someone close to Murab told me that regular people would have probably had their leg amputated if they had to deal with the staph infection that he had on his leg.
He was just like taping it up and going, I don't believe that.
Whoever told you that, that's not true.
They would put antibiotics on that.
That's not true.
They don't just randomly amputate people's legs, I hope.
You're fucking goofing on me.
It said he had broken his hand early in the fight.
Oh, Nurmagomedov did.
He said, I broke my back in training camp, but some days I couldn't get up from the bed.
Can I tell you right now that I'm so proud of this.
I just laid down.
I don't have a training camp.
I don't have a Khabib Nurmagomedov to help me train.
Some days at the PI was closed.
It was Christmas.
It was New Year's and weekends, and it happened a couple of times.
Umar was there, and the security goes, I'm sorry, we can't let you go in.
I don't know.
Yeah, Merab's different.
But there's also something about dudes that are from that part of the world.
That is a war-torn part of the world, and it makes a different kind of man.
I don't like to brag.
And then he found his way to Longo's.
That's a problem, right?
If you don't know where to go and you wind up at a real bad camp and then they claim you forever.
Just like a bad wife.
Yeah, oh, you guys are so good.
You and Longo, without a doubt, need a reality show.
You need some sort of reality show with you two guys coaching people and then going to dinner and just talking shit.
It would be a great show.
I fucking love it when you guys, I would really love it when you guys were, you know, in the corners when you get mic'd up.
we have a good time it's great the two of you guys together it's a fun team everybody says that everybody wants to see a show i told him last night when he's on your podcast he's the best i have my you know what's so cool now man i have my 16 year old over there he's holding for us it just makes me say that gets me emotional oh my god that's awesome it's so cool man you know he's that's so cool 67 he's still fucking going man long he's the best he's such a raise awesome
But you two in the corner are so uniquely fun.
It's so fun to watch.
If I was a television producer, I'm like, that is a no-brainer.
We took our guy down to the flagpole.
Maybe Paramount Plus.
This new merger, whatever was happening.
We've got some content here.
We'll be a Paramount Plus show.
You and Ray Longo, Paramount Plus, going to pizza places, talking shit.
I'm not against it.
Going to the fights.
Going to the fights, like talking about your fight.
See, it's like a built-in show.
You have fighters that you're training.
You talk about how he's doing.
Talk about how he came to you.
You two guys just talk about the world.
Is that me?
It's not me, is it?
It might be me.
I don't think it's me.
I'm pretty sure I've airplaned it.
I think it's me.
Yeah, it's totally a built-in show that you can't miss.
Ah, we have a good time.
You know what I mean?
Like, you should do it.
You know, I... If you have the time.
They react in real time?
Oh, that's great.
What a sweetheart Tate is.
I believe you.
Yeah, he's Jardine.
Jardine's awesome.
Yeah, that was a good movie.
This was a good fucking movie.
And Keith Jardine is in this.
Was Keith a bounty hunter?
No, he was in this.
No, but was he an actual bounty hunter at one point in his life?
See if that's true.
I went over his whole fucking story.
I hope I'm not imagining this.
He was more of a grappler than he was even a striker.
Yeah, he was a bounty hunter.
He was a fucking bounty hunter.
Jardim worked as a personal trainer, firefighter, football coach, miner, and bounty hunter.
Miner and bounty hunter.
That's two of the hardest fucking human beings that have ever lived connected.
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He's a great guy.
He looks like a fucking pike.
Had some awesome fights.
Pointed out that that might have been staged really Jamie does not like the wool being pulled over his eyes.
So he thinks that everything is staged.
I mean, we do have a point there.
We got a point.
Give this guy a bottle of water.
Let's go.
Yeah, so there he goes.
He's all mollied up.
He's ready to go.
Oh, yeah.
Mollied.
That guy's a boss.
He's probably got one of them cruising doses in his system.
He's got his minions behind him carrying his water.
Probably legit Viking genes, too, man.
Got his Thor's hammer around his neck.
Well, he looks like the 21st century version of it.
Come on, man.
The original Vikings probably looked like those strongmen dudes you see coming out of Iceland.
I bet that's what showed up on the books.
Imagine that.
A bunch of half-Thor Bjornsons showed up.
Bro, who's that guy, that Viking dude that fights in Welterweight?
He just fought Chaos Williams.
Oh, the one who looks like a fucking caveman.
And he brought up his name.
He got famous for being ugly.
Is it Andreas?
What is his name?
It looks just like Keith Jardine.
That's crazy.
It is Andreas.
Jamie, could you go to Chaos Williams' Wikipedia and look up his MMA career?
Because Chaos is fucking good, man.
He's a dangerous guy.
He got worn the fuck out by this dude.
This is another one of those dudes.
Me and DC have been talking about this.
Extreme physicality is a tool.
And Coleman used to say this.
Coleman used to say that strength is a skill.
And I was like, it kind of is a skill.
Andreas Gustafson.
Yeah, this guy's fucking terrifying, man.
He's a different dude.
And what you should see, go to Andreas Gustafson workout.
Just Google workout, and this dude is a hardcore power lifter.
Like, when you see some of the shit he's doing, the amount of strength that this guy has, you're like, oh, Jesus.
Like, there's guys that are not that big, right?
Like, you know, see that janitor who pulls pranks on Instagram, who walks up to these...
These big meatheads and lifts up the stuff.
He's not that big, though.
But these super strong dudes who practice powerlifting, you can be incredibly strong and not look like a bodybuilder.
And that's this guy.
He's a 185.
No, he's a 70.
No, excuse me, 170.
Oh, man.
But this motherfucker is so strong, man.
When he gets a hold of guys, he's just rag-dolling people.
You know, Chaos has been very consistent in his career with good takedown defense.
He knows how to fight guys off, dangerous striker, and he couldn't do shit to this guy.
It was like a one-sided ass-whooping, like a real one-sided ass-whooping that I didn't expect.
I was like, that is, I thought it would be a good fight.
And it was just a mauling, man.
He could easily have.
The power that Chaos has, he puts guys out with one shot.
But this dude just tucks his chin down and wades bombs at you until he gets a grip on you.
And then just starts throwing you around.
Yeah, it's 170.
I'll tell you who's the dark horse in that division.
Who's that?
Sean Brady.
I don't even think he's the dark horse.
After that Leon Edwards fight.
People aren't talking about him enough, though.
That's what I'm saying.
Bro, that Leon Edwards fight was crazy.
Come on, man.
It's funny.
He's got that turtle muscle on his back.
He's trying to get a crush your head muscle.
He's trying to get that Ian Gary fight.
Well, you know, I would love to see him fight for the title.
I mean, I think that's a reasonable fight.
Like with Jack Della like who's next after if Jack Della in Islam fight Which seems to be the exact what's gonna happen who's next after that like who's who's in number one position right now?
It's it's Sean or Bilal Well right Ian Gary has one loss right and
Shopkot, right, real close fight, but that one loss set him back a little bit.
So Bilal's number one, but you know,
I bet they're going to want Bilal to fight somebody else.
They seem to have a hard-on for Bilal.
Nice fucking guy.
The numbers don't mean that's the fight that gets made.
Not always.
Can you put that back up, Jamie, so I can see who else is in there?
So it's like if you look at that division, that division has gone through so many different changes.
So you've got Shavkat, who just had some kind of surgery that's undisclosed, right?
We don't know what injury he's recovered from, but he had a pretty significant injury, apparently.
And then you've got Leon, Kamaru.
He fucked Gilbert Burns up.
He fucked him up.
That looked like Gilbert just didn't belong in there.
Sure did.
And that's weird to see, right?
A lot of miles, a lot of fights.
I'll tell you what, man.
I was blown away by Kamaru versus Joaquin Buckley.
I was blown away.
He looked great.
He looked like if Joaquin was challenging Kamaru for the title, that's the Kamaru that you would expect to see.
That's what he looked like.
He showed a good IQ.
But also, the ability to move, right?
Like, you didn't seem hampered by his knees or the things that people talk about.
We thought it was just an old-ass man with them bad knees.
Didn't look bad at all.
And I think, you know, a lot of it is mental strength, of sure.
But it's also, like, he hasn't really taken a lot of damage other than the big high kick from Leon.
And, you know, if you go and you watch his fights, it's...
He had a pretty good war with Colby before he won.
I mean, they exchanged a lot of blows.
You know, Gilbert dropped him.
Remember that?
But overall, not a lot of damage in his career.
Tell him where the dough comes from, Matt.
Mostly he's been the dominator.
So even though he's 37, I think, he's still pretty fresh.
Yeah, he's all right.
I thought it was good to see him.
go back to his wrestling roots a little bit a lot of times the wrestlers get good with their hands and all of a sudden they forget about what got him to the show and he just straight manhandled he did but he also looked good on the feet man he looked good everywhere in that fight disciplined good straight punches Sean Brady looked great in his last fight with his hands too
He's going to see.
And to do that to Leon, where you know Leon knows he can't lose again, he lost the title, and he wants to come back and get it back, and now all of a sudden you've got this turtle shell motherfucker in front of you.
Caputo flour from Italy.
It just seems insanely strong.
How's Colby still in these rankings?
I wonder how much of that would be because he's still super valuable.
Yeah, because if you're a guy, why kick him out if you're a guy like Shovkat and they offer you Colby in the main event of a fight night or something like that?
That's a great fight.
For both guys, they'll probably make way more money.
So how does that work with Paramount now?
Here's the question.
I thought you'd have the insights.
Yeah, man.
I don't talk to Dana about business.
You know?
I heard they're raising the... I'm almost a socialist when it comes to that shit.
I would be the worst.
They'd fucking fire me for sure.
I would change the pay structure immediately.
You know, but I wonder if there's no pay-per-view.
Yeah, you want a mint?
That's mine mints.
That's NeuroGum, the NeuroMints.
I have the gum.
Take the last one.
Oh, thank you.
Dane, you want some of that, Dane?
It's tasty.
Yeah, I'm always giving myself mind mints and all that shit, and I'm still stupid.
What were we just talking about?
The pay structure.
So they used to get the money from pay-per-view, right?
So if you're a guy like Conor McGregor that's going to get two million pay-per-views, you get a percentage of that, and you're set for life, right?
You get one big one like that, and whoo!
How does that work now?
So how does that work now?
How does it work now if it's for free?
There's no more pay-per-view.
The low-hanging fruit that's easiest to answer.
Bonuses are obviously going up.
That's great.
That'll be big.
And forget about the tide rising with all the other fighters.
Just the number the bonuses bring to a fighter, it's millions of dollars.
Well, that's great.
So then there's a bonus structure like if that many people watch your thing, you get millions of dollars.
That would be cool.
That sounds great.
Paramount's got a ton of loot.
And this is a great move for them.
And good content, too.
People are going to sign up for Paramount Plus if you get free UFCs forever.
That's crazy.
And South Park, right?
And South Park.
And a bunch of other shows, too.
This is a shitload of shows.
All of Taylor Sheridan's shows are all Paramount.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Bro, I'm tight with Dana.
We were talking about the problems with this and the problems with that, but I need to ask him this weekend in Chicago if it's true that the Netflix people wanted to stop the fights in the Apex.
They didn't want any fights in the Apex.
They wanted fights with big crowds.
They wanted it to be big.
We wanted it to be big, big, big.
Like all the fights, big, big, big, yeah.
One of the best heavyweight fights of all time in terms of the result was Francis Ngannou versus Stipe Miocic with no crowd at all in the Apex in the small ring.
It was one of the best experiences.
You want to watch a guy in his prime who's fucking terrified, who's figured it all out, versus a guy who's a legend, he's a champion, but he's got a lot of miles on him and there's a lot of wars.
And you see it with no one there.
You're hearing the huff and huff of each breath.
Every time Francis hits him, you fucking feel that thud in your cells.
Hey, you don't got to sell me, man.
I love watching fights at the Apex.
I love it.
It's my favorite.
I mean, I really believe that the smaller cage just forces more action.
I was wondering if they would downsize the arena cage because of the quality of the fights that was in the smaller cage.
The problem with that is, like, when you got a guy that is just very footwork-based and has developed his style based on a large... Yeah, you're fucking him.
You're fucking him.
That's a fact.
He's developed his style based on his ability to move around a full-size cage.
This is one of the best advertisements for carbs I've ever seen.
The Netflix thing is from a troll account, I think.
Oh, trolls did it?
I think so.
Oh, that's good.
Well, who knows why they decided to not do it, but, man, whoever gets the UFC and does the no-pay-per-view model, you just gained millions of subscribers instantaneously.
Because everybody's going to get every pay-per-view now for free.
Everybody's scrolling through the channels like, oh, let's see who's fighting.
I wonder how much money I'll save a year now.
Save me 80 a month or two.
You tune it in and you watch one Alex Pereira high kick knockout.
You're like, oh, shit.
Then you're hooked.
And then the next time it's on, you're like, oh, the UFC's on.
And then boom, you've got more fans.
I mean, it's the most exciting to the average spectator because you don't have to know anything.
You don't have to know shit to watch guys just go to war.
No blow rain.
No bleach.
No doubt.
Well, Paramount's giving them a billion dollars a year for seven years.
I mean, that's wild.
That's a lot of loot.
Oh, yeah.
I think it's the right time.
Ron Murphy's no joke.
I got Aaron Pico, man.
UFC jitters is a real thing, and Murphy is no joke.
He is super solid.
Super technical everywhere.
And if Aaron wants to be a boxer, this kid is really explosive on his feet, Murphy.
He's got the wrestling too.
He does, but he don't use it enough, I don't believe.
Murphy, to me, is very much like Leon Edwards in his prime at 145.
For sure.
Very similar.
Very similar.
Strong everywhere.
Super technical.
Doesn't make any mistakes.
He's good, man.
He's world championship potential.
He's certainly world championship potential.
He is coming on short notice, too.
Yeah, but he's a consummate professional.
They said straight up he's ready.
They said three weeks might be too much time because he's ready all the time.
Well, this is the word out of that part, that camp, is that that guy's always training, which is what you want to see from a guy like that who's undefeated and also not getting the shine that a lot of other guys in that division are getting.
Props to him for taking the fight, too.
There's so many good guys in that division.
You know, and Ilya was such a star with Volkanovski in there, Yair, and everybody kind of got lost.
Oh, you're sure?
oh that could change it on the website as the co-main but i thought it was it's in there but it's still three rounds i read that today that's cool well that changes things it's interesting because pico is really good man but i would have liked to see him against someone you know to establish a name for himself i thought he had a really good shot at beating mozar
Let's fucking go, Rob!
Well, Mozart is crazy because the grappling for Mozart is just off the charts, but you're not dealing with the kind of kicks that you're dealing with with Murphy.
With Murphy, he's going to chop you up on the outside, and if you're heavy on that front leg because you like boxing, like, ooh, a couple of those calf kicks change everything.
The pesto.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But it was close.
But I thought Aljo won, as well.
Mozart's very, very, very good.
But that's a good fight for Pico, because Pico's an elite grappler, and he's got real dangerous hands.
Guys, I'm so proud.
Real dangerous hands.
It would have been a great fight for him.
It would have been an interesting fight for him.
This is a different fight.
This is a different fight and I think a more dangerous fight in a lot of ways just because of his style.
He's tough, man.
Murphy's tough.
And again, he's one of those guys that is way better than his public persona.
People know about him.
There's so many guys in that division, man.
The division's crazy.
It's filled with killers.
Filled with killers.
This card's a good one.
Killers and stars, too.
Jeff Neal.
John Silva.
John Silva, yeah.
Bro, that fight is going to be crazy.
Are you going to that?
It was in San Antonio.
It's in Texas.
I might go to that.
That John Silva guy looks like a world champion.
That's another one.
looks like a world fucking champion for sure he's a character too yeah oh yeah the barking and shit i like bro what he did to bryce mitchell was just well he sent him down you made yourself lightheaded barking out at the at the wolf earlier yeah i got a little lightheaded the fact that he was like so relaxed and laughing and like it's just he just knew it was a matter of time and then submitted him this is
and put him to sleep.
What's funny about that is Bryce Mitchell, who just went down in weight, looked great.
So that's the right division for him.
That's the right division for him.
I mean, he's got two choices.
Bulk way up and cut down, which is what most of these guys are doing.
Or go to 135, which he looked great.
Just got to live a better life.
Right, because he was never, like, real ripped at 45.
Thank you, Rob.
He's eating cornbread on the farm and shit.
I don't know what he eats.
I'm sure he eats healthy.
I mean, he's a very good grappler.
That's the first time you'll ever see Matt's mouth shut.
I'll tell you that.
That guy's dangerous.
Really, really good jiu-jitsu.
Really smart.
I've seen a lot of his tutorials online.
Very, very good stuff.
But, you know, John Silva's just a different thing, man.
There's guys that are just better everywhere.
I think so, too.
Yeah, both have one-punch knockout power, and John Silva's a very good kicker.
It's different.
Ilya does not throw a whole lot of kicks, and most of them are to the legs.
Ilya's not throwing any head kicks.
I'm sure he can.
I mean, he might do that just because we're talking shit right now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But what Ilya does do is he touches you, and that's what Farasa Habi calls the touch of death.
He's got that touch of death, man.
When he did that shit to Charles, I was like, I can't even believe I'm seeing this.
You gotta go.
Folded him.
Folded him.
Remember we talked about that?
I think we were in a back talk.
We were like, yo, this is crazy, man.
No one should be doing this.
And he goes out there and does it.
It's like Arnold on Pump and Iron.
Remember he was telling Lou Fragno at breakfast?
I called my parents.
I won already.
That's a big difference, though.
All he has to do is flex in his underwear.
Ilya had to go out there and knock out Charles Oliveira with one punch.
That was wild, man.
That dude has power.
He looked good on the floor, too.
He's at least on Murab's level, and Murab's a savage.
You know what he does?
It's really interesting.
He talked about it on the podcast.
He trains each sport individually, and then he puts them all together.
So he doesn't train MMA, jiu-jitsu.
He trains jiu-jitsu with jiu-jitsu guys.
So he trains with elite jiu-jitsu guys, elite wrestlers.
He wrestles with elite wrestlers, boxes with elite boxers.
Does everything and then puts it all together himself.
Interesting how some camps don't do that.
You go there and, you know, you have – everybody's doing MMA.
He's, like, entering into jiu-jitsu spaces, training there, entering into boxing spaces.
And because of that, like –
We all know that the boxing in boxing is at a higher level than the boxing in the UFC.
There's no way to be as good as David Benavidez if you're not boxing your whole fucking life and doing it every day and only doing that.
There's no way.
You're not going to be as good as him.
So we know that.
But if you can get more closer to that by training with them and only training with them, you get Elia Taboria.
I mean, that's what you get.
That's what you get.
You get a guy who's boxing with boxers.
You know what I mean?
But, man, the discipline you have to have to do all those things with the same kind of intensity and then put it all together.
Well, I mean, he's got a very – like he's –
And that's the benefit of not having like this big camp doing it all.
Like when you're just by yourself and everybody around you is helping you get to these places and do those things, it's a huge benefit.
And it's also like today we know what everybody else can do too.
Like if you're at a certain level like Illy is already, you know your abilities, like you don't necessarily have to be in a camp where there's a bunch of people.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
You don't need that.
Yeah, you know which guys you have to bring in for Spartan partners.
Concentrate everything on you.
That way you're not dealing with all these dudes in the locker room that maybe you got beef with and Colby's talking shit about your girlfriend and you're just trying to use the sauna.
Fuck off, Colby.
You know what I mean?
It's like there's something to be said for them really small camps.
Okay, you go, I go.
Exactly, with a blue belt in jujitsu class.
Yeah, exactly.
That's a good point.
Yeah, I mean, and most of those guys would take their camps outside.
You know, like Muhammad Ali did it.
Tyson did it.
A lot of these guys, they would go somewhere.
Go to Big Bear.
Shoot, what about Crawford and Canelo?
What do you think of that?
Personally, I'm a big Crawford fan, so I'm going to lean his way.
My only concern is just the size.
It didn't look like Terrence's power transferred in the last fight, so now he's coming up some more.
Part of the problem with that is Majumah was really good.
He's really fucking good.
But I just think Crawford is...
It's weird to say against Canelo, but I think he's the better boxer, and I think he's the guy who can make the better in-fight adjustments if Canelo doesn't kill him.
It's going to be interesting, I'll tell you that.
What do you think?
I don't know.
It's a big jump to go from 54, which was a step up from 47.
So it goes to 54, and now he's going to 68.
That's so much weight.
A lot of weight.
But Terrence, I think he's the best switch hitter since Hagler.
Hagler was my favorite.
And you do know he's a wrestler.
He also built up slowly.
He took his time.
It's been a long time training for this fight.
He came on this podcast more than a year ago, and he was talking about that's the fight he wants.
And that was a long time ago.
Yeah, I remember.
So he's been trying to get that fight for a long time.
So knowing after he beat Errol Spence that he wasn't ever going to fight at that weight again, and then going up fighting Madrimov, and then knowing he's got at least a year before he fights Alvarez, he got pretty big.
He's slick, man.
He's slick.
He's super intelligent.
Like, he sets traps.
He does stuff.
And then, you know, there's a bunch of great breakdown videos of particularly the Errol Spence fight, like him setting traps.
It's just... He's a very high-level guy, but...
Canelo is dangerous.
He broke Billy Joe Saunders' whole face.
Broke his whole face.
What he did to Amir Khan.
Remember that shit?
Embarrassed him.
And never been down.
That is the number one problem with any of that carnivore diet bullshit.
Never been dropped.
Canelo's a stud.
Kids running around all on the mat.
I was like, yo, get these bad-ass kids out of here.
How many times did he use it?
He was there for a while.
They was training at the Apex.
Interesting.
And this was getting ready for this fight?
Yeah, getting ready for this fight.
Well, that makes sense because the UFC is co-promoted.
And then I was like, oh, yeah, Dana's involved with this.
That's something you never thought you'd see.
It's interesting because it's like I wonder how that's going to affect combat sports.
That's the number one problem is pizza.
Like what's going to happen?
I mean if the UFC model gets – if they start making fights that people want.
Like there's a lot of fights that people just want that just don't get –
If David Benavidez and Canelo Alvarez were in the UFC, that would be the fight to make.
The UFC would have to figure out.
Hey, guys.
No, no, no, no.
These are the guys.
You guys have to fight.
This is the fight.
It can't be I'm going to do something else.
I'm going to fight Jake Paul.
No, it's got to be this is the fight.
The MMA fans are more accepting, especially if the fight was good, where in boxing, their whole role is to build you to 20 so they can get you title fights, and they're finding people for you along the way, so...
Pizza and Italian subs.
Well, Canelo lost to Bival, and he lost to Floyd, and I don't think it really damaged him that much.
He's still a superstar.
They can do that.
And they're trying to do that, and that's one of the things that they're doing with those Riyadh series fights.
So like they're trying to create the league and I think that's where it gets all into the legislation and all that stuff is changing the Ali Act and all that stuff.
Pereira got knocked out by Izzy and he didn't lose any.
Nothing.
Exactly.
And then he came back and won the light heavyweight title and everybody's like, he's back.
He's shooting his arrows.
He's back.
Best walkout ever.
Best walkout ever.
No one's walkout is like his.
It's hysterical.
Callum Walsh and Fernando Vargas Jr.
Fernando Vargas Jr.
That's great.
Yeah, so these are two good fights.
There's two good fights underneath that as well.
But it's like they're going to have to do this consistently and build these people up and have real good video series like the UFC does with Embedded and what they do with the countdown shows and just really get everybody excited about it.
I mean, is that a bad thing, though?
I mean, because people are being critical of the idea of that.
To get a bunch of high-end fights on one card?
Well, it's all in how much money is getting distributed, right?
So the boxers that make a lot of money are the Canellos, the Floyds, the people that are the superstars.
They make a lot of money.
But dudes that fight on undercards that you're watching on TV- Don't make shit.
Don't make shit.
And that's where everybody gets confused.
You watch UFC fights, and there's people that are undercards that are making way more money than the undercard people in a boxing match.
Way more money.
So it depends on who's on the card.
You know, it really-
The majority of the money, I'm sure, is going to the top guys.
Whereas in the UFC, it's probably a more... Spread through a little bit more.
The bigger middle class.
Yeah, but they don't have a high end that's the same.
Like Usyk made $114 million, something like that, for his last fight with Dubois.
And Dubois made like $70-something million.
I might even be selling Usyk's number wrong.
I think it might have been like $130.
That's ridiculous.
No, crazy money.
Crazy money for that Dubois fight.
So that...
That's the difference.
So that's only possible with the boxing model.
You feel different if you eat that flour.
So the guys who eat the most are going to eat the most most with the boxing model.
But the people underneath that are not going to be doing nearly as well.
I don't know how many people watch them.
Bro, they got that black gold flowing out of their mouth, baby.
Or get the Saudis to pay everybody the same.
Those dudes don't give a fuck.
Let's go turkey.
That money for them is like me ordering a pizza.
I'll make a call.
I'll get a pizza delivered.
They don't give a fuck.
They're making insane amounts of money.
Like, we don't even know how much money they have because it's not public.
It's not like us.
Like, you know, like Bezos has to, like, disclose his wealth.
Like, the richest man in the world.
Like, are you sure?
Well, I think that's why Canelo was holding out with Benavidez, because the number that I heard was 200 million.
He wanted $200 million to fight Benavidez.
God bless him.
It seems like they're kind of close to that.
Well, you know, if they're getting in the 130s for Usyk, this is crazy.
That's so much money.
Yeah, two guys that want to bang it out.
I like that Dracar closed.
He has a, it's so good.
But, you know.
Vanille looked great in his last fight.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Potassium bromate, a flower additive used to strengthen dough, may have potential health risks.
He's a savage.
He did great in that McConnell fight.
Yeah, he's very good, man.
It's a great time for watching fights.
Who else is on the card this weekend?
Jeff Neal and Prates.
Oh, that's right.
Tim Elliott and Asakura.
Yeah, bro.
Prates and Jeff Neal.
That could be a banger.
And I think it all depends on which Jeff Neal shows up.
Oh, and then there's Jared Cannoneer and Michael Page.
That's the puzzle.
How about how that dude just goes from middleweight to welterweight, doesn't give a fuck.
Doesn't matter.
And no one even seems to talk about the fact that he's going up and down in weight.
While it's legal in the U.S., it's banned in many other countries due to concerns about its potential carcinogenic effects.
He's so good.
I'm crazy that he can make welterweight.
He's a super fighter, I think.
The only person who figured him out was Ian Gary.
You've got to drag him to the ground.
Yeah, man.
Brian Bano and Ruzaboyev, that's a good fight, too.
Yeah, that's a good fight.
That dude is gigantic.
He was a welterweight for a while, too, but he couldn't do it anymore.
He lost to Joaquin.
He was like a 6'5 welterweight.
He hits hard.
Dangerous.
Dangerous dude.
So he went up to 185.
I think he was out training with Hamzat a little bit, though.
Yeah, a little bit for this camp.
Was this his second or third middleweight?
Because he quit, I think that last Buckley fight, he was like, enough of this welterweight bullshit.
Brian Battle, I love when he fucking... Yeah, so that's his second fight.
In Paris?
Studies have linked it to kidney and thyroid cancers in animals.
And he's like, there's no way you think I'm going to lose a fist fight to a French dude.
There's no way the butcher...
To a French dude.
Oh, dude.
They're all booing him.
Oh, it was fucking great.
That's awesome.
Well, everybody's got to remember, that's what Colby did when he beat Brazil.
Damian Maia in Brazil.
But he was going full WWE heel.
Well, fucking duh.
Yeah, for sure.
Oh, it made him millions.
It made him millions.
Because they were cutting him.
Sell your soul if you want.
There's something to be said.
I agree.
But there's something to be said if you're purely business-minded.
Talk a lot of shit.
And it's been associated with genotoxic and nephrotoxic effects in both animal models and humans.
It got darker.
It got darker.
It's no fun.
Well, it's also you're dealing with people that are dealing with the pressures of being at the top of one of the most dangerous occupations in the world.
And every day when you go to bed, you know there's some dude out there that wants to kick you in the fucking dick.
he's out there right now yeah he's out there training and there's that pressure like sometimes wears on guys and over the course of time they get like neurological fatigue like like you're just fatigued from the just a strain you don't give a fuck no more you just start saying dumb shit angry and and then you got cte and you know so there's a lot of things going on i mean i
Acute symptoms from ingestion can include nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, and abdominal pain.
Also, the pockets get fatter under that microscope even more and then there's Take
It's crazy.
And he probably got some good stuff.
I might try Connor's Coke.
I've never tried Coke, but if I was gonna, I'd try it from Connor.
Man, it's not even like hiding it, man.
Yeah, bro, you gotta love that part of him.
He's a pure savage.
He's a pure savage.
That's also why he was so good at fighting, man.
In the middle of the Jose Aldo fight, I remember looking in his eyes and watching how calm, like genuinely calm he was.
I'm like, this guy just, and Dana said it best.
They put this in our flour.
He's like, he eats pressure.
He just eats it.
He likes it.
He wants it to be chaos.
It's got to guys say that, but they don't really believe it.
Was that when Sinead O'Connor.
Just so comfortable.
Dude, that's what I'm saying.
I don't think she came after this one.
It was one of them she did the walkout song for.
Yeah, my wife filmed it.
That's crazy.
Fucking going.
At least he's the Blade music.
The Soul Train.
Causes changes in DNA and potentially lead to mutations.
The Soul Train.
That opening scene in Blade.
I mean, going up to challenge for a second world title and hitting the Matrix.
Full Matrix in a fight with a killer.
Like, Eddie's a fucking killer, man.
What he did to Rafael Dos Anjos to win the title.
Wild performance.
Those fights that he had with Chandler that those guys took 10 years off each other's lives.
Sorry, my ass.
Go, go, go.
We got those toilets.
Here it is.
We love your toilets.
They're the best.
There it is.
Here she goes.
This was the Chad Mendes fight.
UFC 189.
And the best part about this is how he walks out with his giant fucking leprechaun smile on his face.
What the fuck?
Yeah, watch this.
Look at that fucking statement.
That dude just knew how to handle pressure.
That's crazy.
Dude, that's why, man.
All right, Jimmy.
That was a fight that he couldn't even grapple.
He couldn't even grapple in training camp.
He fucked his knee up.
And that's one of the reasons why Chad was able to take him down so easily.
He had a hard time training for that fight.
And he fucked Chad up, too.
Took it almost seven days or something.
Bro, Chad's second fight with Aldo, he got fucked.
I remember I reached out to him after the fight.
I'm like, damn, dude, because the first round after the bell, Aldo cracks him and rocks him.
Like for the first time in the fight, he got rocked.
And clearly after the bell, I'm like, damn, that's terrible.
After you got knocked out by the guy in the first fight, you come back in the second fight.
The first round's wildly entertaining.
And then you get hit with a shot after the bell.
I mean, it was still a great fight, though.
It was still a great fight, but it makes me wonder.
Like, if that shot doesn't land, that's a real shot, man.
That was a different, that was like a real, like, you're almost out shot.
And if you get hit with one of those in a fight, that significantly changes the fight.
Significantly changes it.
Give me some volume.
Way after the buzzer.
Way after the buzzer.
And that dropped him.
But Aldo was coming on strong, clearly.
Aldo was coming on strong.
That guy's a fucking monster.
It's amazing how good he still is when he fights a hobby, and I think he laid his gloves down.
I was like, damn, dude, he's still really fucking good and really fast.
And down a weight class instead of up as he got older.
Most guys don't go down weight class.
I know, but, I mean, when you look at how muscular he is at 45 and then you think about, like, what Max did to him, that muscle comes with a price, you know?
And when Max started to put that pace on him, like, Max was the first guy to really expose him and put that pace on him.
Jose was all fast twitch, you know what I mean?
Remember when he double-kneed fucking Cub Swine?
Oh, yeah.
How about this?
marab didn't take him down i know he couldn't take him down how crazy is that he does have great takedown 38 years into his career yeah right like and marab couldn't take that guy down couldn't take him down bro he his balance is crazy what he took down uh what's his name pewter yan like 10 times yeah couldn't take down couldn't take aldo down
Yeah, that's wild.
And Aldo's jiu-jitsu was good.
Here's that double knee.
What the fuck, man?
And Cub was a stud, too.
Oh, bro, he was a monster.
Aldo was a monster.
Look, he's trying to hit them even after the referees pulled him off.
WEC was great.
Double knee to the dome.
They had some talent.
Oh, yeah, for sure, man.
And this was when Aldo was in his book.
Remember he murdered Uriah's leg kicks?
Oh, my God.
Yeah, Uriah, like, that leg was fucked up, man.
Yeah, he told me two weeks he was on crutches.
Two weeks he was on crutches, he said.
Yeah, man.
He was, in his prime, he was something really special.
But, you know, it's like how long can you keep that up?
He's kept it up more than anybody, like really, because he's still at a world-class caliber at Bantamweight.
I mean, dude, for 10 years nobody touched him.
That's a long time to reign, especially in a weight division like that where the talent just keeps coming.
He just kind of gassed out in that last round because he was going for the finish.
He emptied out and Zahabi survived.
But, I mean, how good was he to himself to know that he's retiring probably because he feels like he can't do it at the level he knows he can.
Jamie, do you remember that video that I sent you about that dude breaking down exactly what's in flour and why it fucks us up?
That division, man.
Between 35 and 45.
It's interesting that 25 gets so little love.
Like, Pantoja's only 10 pounds lighter.
He loves him.
He's a straight-up killer.
But it's crazy that it's only 10 pounds.
How do you guys know?
You can't tell the difference.
How can you tell the difference?
People get real weird.
They get real weird with sizes.
It was going away, too.
They asked me to go back up to welterweight.
I didn't just go, all right.
Do you remember that video?
Well, the UFC just had a weird position.
I mean, before it really took off, they were just trying to figure out, like, we've got to figure out a way to make money doing this thing.
What do people not want to see?
And if someone has this idea, oh, the problem is the lighter weight divisions.
Yeah, yeah.
Those are the most exciting.
You'll find it.
It's usually where the most talent is, too.
It's one of the craziest fights we've seen.
35, 45, 55.
Pantoja's a great champ, man.
He defended it, what, three, four times?
What'd he do?
Well, he's so good, too.
The dude with the hat on who's the health expert is a young guy.
Takes torture well, too.
Yeah, he's an animal.
He's an animal.
He made Kaikar France look bad.
And the first fight was good.
They had a good fight like nine years ago or eight years ago when it was, but the difference between how much better Pantoja got was right away was obvious.
And he does an amazing job of breaking down the difference between our flour and their flour.
It's a guy you want to see do well.
Exactly.
But that's why I wish the guy got more love.
It's like, I don't understand...
You know, if he was 145, he'd be a superstar.
You know?
I don't get it.
It's weird.
It's weird, but it's always been that way.
Even Cejudo, you know, when he was a champ.
And, you know, when Mighty Mouse was a champ.
Like, kind of with everybody.
It would take the place of so many different pharmaceutical drugs, and that's a big part of the problem.
Figueiredo didn't get the love that he deserved.
Brandon Royval.
Rob's getting the love.
Definitely.
But it's always like, yeah, but they're flyweights.
I wonder what the biggest flyweight pay-per-view of all time was.
Like how many people.
You know what I mean?
And you see, you get so upset.
It would have to be.
It would have to be a Mighty Mouse one probably.
Wouldn't you think?
I saw him talk.
Pantoja, Erceg.
That was a good fight too.
But I bet it's like not high.
You're like, this is so crazy.
You guys let them do this to us.
Did you watch Usyk and Dubois?
Yes, it's banned in other countries, but legal here.
Especially Dubois when you see what he did to AJ in that last fight.
He's beat everybody twice.
In the heavyweight division, who do they have left for him?
Well, Tyson Fury was talking about coming back, but then it looks like he changed his mind.
He decided to get fucked up.
It's a young man's sport.
How's that possible?
He's not wrong.
He's not that old, though.
But if anybody could have beaten him, it could have been Tyson Fury in his prime.
Because particularly in moments in the first fight, especially in the early rounds, before he got dropped in the 9th,
He was doing really well.
He was lighting them up.
There's more damage than you've ever seen Usyk take in a fight, ever.
Why are we putting up with this shit?
And more clean shots that were landing.
Yeah, it's not just a jab.
He's got a slick uppercut.
He's got a crisp right hand.
His defense is slick.
He's an all-time great boxer.
All-time great.
It's because it's slow poison.
Is he going to do it again?
They were talking about setting up a Francis Deontay Wilder fight.
That would be interesting.
But boxing, you always get sucked in.
It's like there's these stories like, are they doing that?
Are they doing that?
Well, this is the Benavidez-Canelo situation.
Because if you ask the average, if you want a hardcore boxing fan's dream fight, it's not necessarily Canelo and Crawford, which is a great fight.
It's not like alcohol is like, whoa, you feel it the next day.
But you got this thing where Crawford's jumping up all this weight.
You're like, man, I don't know.
But the great fight is Canelo-Benavidez.
Everybody knows it.
Everybody knows it.
That's the fight.
Can't make it happen, though.
It's been going on forever.
Pacquiao should have fought Floyd a long time ago.
You can't never make the big fights happen.
That has to happen.
That fight has to.
If boxing is to be complete, if the circle of power is to be folded over onto whatever, the rocks you get for your ring, whatever Thanos gets.
Like, oh my God.
Infinity stones.
All right.
That's the only way it happens.
pizza is just a slow poison slow poison without poison dough it weighs you down but it would this is the cat it would be just as good just as good in terms of how you feel when you eat it just as good flavor wise just not fucking kill you explain to me why i can eat bread in spain and in i can in greece italy no problem why i was gluten free in 15 years i've been gluten free in uh
You have to have that fight.
That's the fight.
And if they fuck that up, and if he goes up, and now Benavidez is fighting light heavyweight more.
I don't think it happens.
Canelo's probably going to lose to-
He had it on his Instagram.
He said his back's been fucking with him for 10 years, and he finally got surgery.
Back surgery is always like... It's 50-50.
Which surgery?
I mean, I would get up in the morning and be fucking holding my wall to get to the bathroom.
And still rolling, you son of a bitch.
You feel better when you're feeling bad.
I had to get an epidural shot.
Yeah, I remember.
When I blew my back out.
I was trying those for the sciatica.
When you fought GSP the second time, your back was fucked.
Think about that and then knowing that you have a cage fight coming up against a guy who's the best wrestler in the division.
That's what I said.
The first one's way better.
Ah, shit.
There's stuff that you can do for your back, but, man, it takes a long-ass time to heal back injuries naturally.
What's going on with yours, you were saying?
Mine's a lot better now, man.
And one of the things that I made sure I did this year is I do—
Twice a week, I do lower back exercises, like core exercises with twists and lifting, like do back extensions with weights.
That changed everything.
I do that too, yeah.
It used to bother me when I'd play pool.
I'd be done.
I'd be like real stiff, and that completely went away.
And really what it all fucked up was from archery because, you know, you pull one way all the time, and this side started getting this –
You draw the other way now?
It's almost like a tendonitis.
No, no, no.
I just ignored it and beat it into the ground.
And even though I was in pain, I still kept shooting while I was in pain.
So I fucked it up for months.
Now I draw – I have a cable pulley system at my gym.
So I hold a 10-pound weight and then I draw 80 pounds like I'm pulling a bow.
And I pretend I'm shooting a bow.
So I do that for as many reps as I shoot arrows.
I do that with my left side.
I'm more balanced now.
And then the lower back exercises.
But fuck, it takes forever to not... If you want to really heal something and really get it better and not get surgery, it takes forever.
It's definitely harder.
Oh, that for sure.
It's more difficult for sure.
And it requires more concentration.
it's much easier to fuck up, and that's why I like it.
Oh, it's harder.
But is it more satisfying when it gets to the animals, too?
You can't compare.
I've shot a lot of animals with a rifle hunting, and it's great.
It's very effective.
It's real smart.
It's a good way to hunt.
If you're hunting for food, like if I had to provide food for my family, I would 100% be hunting with a rifle.
No questions asked if that's what I'm doing.
But what I'm doing is I'm trying to get meat with my hobby.
So my hobby is archery.
Calling it a hobby is a little disrespectful.
It sounds very corny, but it's almost like a spiritual journey.
Like you're going to the woods and you're sneaking up.
I'm doing it with a guide who's a good friend of mine, and we go together.
And we're sneaking up on these animals that are trying to avoid mountain lions and bears.
And you're getting within archery range of them and just –
launching a perfect arrow and that's how you're getting your food so every time you eat your food it's the best food in the world but you're also thinking how you got it like you worked hard for a whole year to prepare for it you train for it I do cardio for it I do weighted I carry a weighted backpack I put this fucking 45 pound plate on my back and I walk around for hours I do a bunch of shit with it these these different exercises just for hunting training well how how much is how close is archery range like how close you had to get to him
I'm comfortable anything inside 70 yards if I don't think the animal's moving a lot.
So if an animal's moving a lot, like in the rut, sometimes they're fighting other males, so they'll run at each other and they'll come back, and then you can't take a shot like that because they're not going to be there when you shoot the animal.
They're moving so fast.
It's not ethical.
With a rifle, you could.
With a rifle, you just need them to stop for a second.
Just stop for a second, ba-boom, and you got them.
No, I never had to do that.
You hit him with a second arrow.
Even if you hit him perfectly, and I've hit an elk perfectly before, if they don't go down, they're standing there.
As long as they're standing, you hit them with another arrow.
And that usually takes them out.
You got one, not enough.
Now you got to track them down and get them.
They're so tough.
You'll track them and you're like, this is so much blood.
There's no way this thing's not going to be dead five feet from here.
And then you'll find them 800 yards away dead.
It's crazy.
They're so tough because you're dealing with an animal that's like every day is mountain lion season.
Every day there's mountain lions just sneaking up on them everywhere.
You know, if they make it to be seven, eight years old, which is when I started hunting them, like these motherfuckers.
The other part of the problem is the alcohol industry.
They're gangsters.
They're wise.
Some of them have one eye because they got their eye poked out by another dude because they get those antlers jabbing each other's faces.
Oh, my God.
Have you had elk meat?
Have you had any?
I don't think so, no.
God, I wish you lived here.
I'd give you some.
I have frozen elk out there right now.
If I had a freezer box, I could give you one.
Shit, man.
Yeah, if you know how to make it.
It's all in taking proper care of it once you shoot it.
If you let the animal lay out in the heat or if the meat gets dirty or if you accidentally cut the glands, they have these tarsal glands on their legs that's a nasty smell that they're putting out so that the ladies hear it.
The ladies smell it rather and the other men know that they're there.
If that stuff gets on your meat, you're fucked.
Like there's a lot of it is like bad preparation, bad care.
But if you take care of venison and do it well, it's the best meat.
It's delicious.
So delicious, man.
I love that shit.
I don't have it often, but when I do, it's my favorite, man.
The UFC PI should be serving that shit.
I bet they serve, like, buffalo, though, which is also really good.
How's horse meat?
You ever try that?
I did try that.
How is it?
Yeah, remember that?
I tried it in Montreal.
In Montreal, there's a place called Joe Beef.
Shout out to Joe Beef.
Joe Beef.
One of my favorite restaurants in the world.
It's an incredible restaurant.
I went there.
It's fucking great.
Does it make you feel palatable?
Is it tasty?
Oh, well, I didn't ask for it.
Let me just say that.
They served it to us.
It was like the guys who run it are awesome.
We know them.
I met them through Bourdain.
And so they just served us whatever they wanted to serve us.
And one of the things they gave us was it was like a loin of horse.
And I was like, really?
This is like tenderloin, like horse tenderloin?
And it was really good.
It tasted like game meat.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, it was a good restaurant.
That's cool.
That's cool.
Fogo do Chow last night.
Just fucking wearing it out.
Yeah, man.
How's he doing?
He's doing good.
He's good.
He wasn't in a rash guard.
He was wearing a jersey.
When he walked up, I was like, what the hell?
And he's walking very nice.
He was fucked up for a while.
So did he get both of his hips replaced now?
He's teaching over at Gordon Ryan's place.
He looks good.
You wonder, like a guy who's that smart and that driven towards jiu-jitsu, like what would happen if he didn't have a crippled body?
Oh, I know.
You know what I mean?
Well, even with a crippled body, when he was rolling, he fucking destroyed it.
Yeah, he used to fuck people up.
Isn't that crazy?
Like, blown apart knee, you know, reconstructed to the point where it doesn't even, like, fully extend, right?
What has he gotten replaced so far?
I mean, I know both hips.
Did he get a knee, too?
He might have got his knee.
Because he said the hip damaged his knee so bad that he thought he was going to have to get the knee done, too.
Looked good.
It's always good to see him.
I would have done that early.
Is there anything you can do with weights?
I'm doing my regular squats.
I have to do more with the weights.
I'm thinking of single leg lunges, with that leg.
What do they call them, Bulgarian squats?
I'll hold a 100 pound kettlebell and do them one legers.
The running thing is weird, because it's like, how much time do you have on those knees?
And you gotta get them fixed again.
But I mean, can they do that?
Can they chop the fucking thing off and put a new one in and unscrew it?
I'm not looking to find out.
I'm holding off on my right one for as long as I can.
So I must have wore that shit down, man.
I'm sure.
Well, that's what Bisping says.
He's always running.
He ran a lot on the streets, too, which I'm sure is a lot of extra pounding.
Yeah, that's no good.
I can't do that.
He's fucking long distance running.
I think he's doing better now, luckily, because for a long time, his neck was fucking with him so bad, he could barely get out of bed.
His body...
He was right back on the on the call right back comment I like gotta be careful with your neck to like that's where the spinal cord is like it only I didn't I thought your spinal cord went all the way through your back till I had my back surgery, you know, but it doesn't it comes down like maybe halfway and so that's why when you have an your neck impingements cause a lot of those fucking problems and
that's why that ernesto hoose neck kick is so effective you know yeah oh who's kicked so many people in the neck just wow he was just he was always one of my favorite guys to watch mr perfect yeah yeah one of the most beautiful kickboxers of all time like just the combinations he would throw pop left hook to the body white low kick and they ruined them with bob sapp
No, not crazy.
Well, you know what it is?
Like, this is one of the reasons why Ernesto wasn't, like, the best candidate for kickboxing to enter into MMA.
Because he was, like, smooth and super technical and very fast, but not...
explosive right not like like just launch himself but Crow Cop was yeah when Crow Cop fought Bob Sapp Crow Cop fucked Bob Sapp up because Crow Cop would just blast on you yeah like full power full blast on you it's like it was a different kind of thing that he would do
And that's why he was so effective in MMA.
When he went over to MMA, all of a sudden he's this fast, powerful striker.
It's not like a boxer who's going to move around a little bit and pick you apart for a few rounds.
Right kick hospital, left kick cemetery.
He fought Heath Herring, and there's a shot of him throwing this low kick or this body kick.
deep into Heath Herring's cage.
Like, his whole rib cage is just collapsed.
And they've done studies.
And you just see Cro Cop's shin, like, basically touching his liver.
It's insane.
It's so deep that you just, it's one of the most painful pictures you see from an MMA fight.
Remember that dude kissed him before the fight?
He killed him.
Yeah, in pride.
It's the one in the upper left-hand side.
The second one, upper, that one right there.
Yeah, that one.
Look at that.
And when you know how powerful Crow Cops kicks are, and then you think about eating that on the ribs like that.
Oh, my God.
That is crazy.
It's like it's folding around his leg.
I mean, that's another one that he landed on.
That's Josh.
Josh Barnett.
Bro, the power that that dude had.
And how about the one that he landed on, Vanderlei?
When he flatlined Vanderlei?
Dude, he had some wheels on him.
His legs were big.
And power.
It's just the difference was when he was throwing kicks at you, it was 100% gas.
He was not feeling you out.
He was trying to let you know, motherfucker, there's some darkness behind these shoes.
You will see darkness, and then you have a flashlight in your face.
They'll be like, you okay?
Stay put, stay put.
You're going to be okay.
But then Gonzaga did that to him.
That's amazing.
He rolled over his ankle.
That's right.
That was crazy.
They know.
That was a big win, man.
He's a big fucking dude.
Big natural dude.
The heavyweight division right now is so shallow in the UFC.
It's so shallow.
I just think they're all playing football and basketball.
He's at the right time now, too, because people are starting to be made aware.
Looks good.
Yeah, I mean, we need more of that.
We need someone to, like, if Aspinall's going to have, he's got Cyril gone, right?
So that's an interesting fight.
And then who?
Jack Lewis, just on name.
Derek would be fine.
Yeah, and you can blame it on gluten all you want, but go eat pizza in Italy.
I do remember that.
It's dubbed in English, but it's a French film.
So how do you know if he's any good?
Well, I mean, I watched it.
Yeah, but I'm saying it's like it's not even his voice.
Well, you could see him.
You say his acting is really good, but he has some other dude's voice that's kind of crazy.
Well, I mean, it's called KO, but it's not bad.
There he is.
Listen you know it's not the best sign when a fighter starts starring in movies Yeah, that's what I'm saying you better better be training.
They lobby.
Yeah it that if there's a world that can soften you It's the world of acting it's a weird thing man.
Give it a shot.
I mean and music yeah kills fighters.
There's also a thing, like, once you become a movie star, like, I don't know, it just doesn't seem to go well.
Like, remember Tommy Morrison when he fought Ray Mercer?
You'd feel good.
Ray Mercer had him tangled in the ropes.
Punching him.
Blasting away.
It's like I'm doing that every day.
Didn't Ray Mercer knock out Tim Sylvia also?
One punch.
That was great.
One punch.
Ray Mercer, man.
And he did that, he was like 46.
Pasta there.
Yeah, pasta there's incredible.
Are you sure that was Mercer?
I'm pretty sure.
Can we find that?
I don't know.
I mean, shit.
I think one of the most interesting boxers that entered into MMA or entered into kickboxing was when Masato fought...
Cool Vince.
Vince Phillips did all right.
He couldn't deal with them leg kicks though.
Chopped apart with those leg kicks.
That's what's interesting when you watch a boxer who goes over there and is like, oh shit, what is this?