Carolina
👤 PersonPodcast Appearances
It was, like, essays on, like, books that were, like, interesting. Like, it was, like... It was just... It was, like, for freshmen only. And it was a lot of, like... Oh, yeah.
But he... my dad went to like orientation weekend like it was like they would split up like the kids would go do stuff and then the parents would go like find out about bc and stuff um and he was like we met up after orientation he was like dude this i went to this like seminar that a senior was giving at bc and the one thing he kept saying was make sure you take this guy kurt schnell
Like, you're going to love Kurt Schnell. Make sure you take... And I was like, I couldn't find him anywhere on the things. I was looking everywhere. Anyway, it turns out it was this class, Courage to Know.
Sorry, we had to... Jack and I are... Fuck, Rusty, fuck.
Some people are always like, they've said his name. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but I was going to say that you and I are going to Nashville and we'll be there Monday, so we're having to pre-record this.
Oh, yeah. I got to give you all my recs. I don't know if I have good ones, honestly.
Yeah, but I lived in a small town outside of the city. I didn't really do a lot of the tours.
I think Granada is really worth going to.
I have been to Granada. I've never been to Sevilla. Yeah. But I've never been to New York, so I don't know.
Well, you know what I love is that it's now available in stores in South Carolina, my homeland, the Mecca.
I'm going back to Charleston in a few weeks, and I'm very excited because I'm going there for a race, and the night before, now I can get triples, and I can have some triples and still wake up the next morning, feel great, go for a run, not have to worry about feeling hungover or grimpy or anything like that.
Oh, yeah, I did. When I shot 20 under in golf, I immediately cracked a triple and cheers with all my viewers. Had two of them, honestly. You're crazy for that.
Ooh. Sorry. What? Look at the channel from 79. What's that? Chance the Rapper. He grew up on 79th Street, so he references a lot in his lyrics.
Wait, what were we...
Oh, no. I was going to tell you why I'm so excited for next week. Oh, yeah. We didn't even get to it.
It's going to be a great week. I'm excited.
But I'm going to MJ Lenderman on Friday night. Who's that?
I like his vibe.
And he has a song with Waxahachie. And he might... I think he might bring Waxahachie out. Oh.
Okay. Well, anyway... mj lenderman chester's going dylan's going angus is going oh he's already gonna be back all my all five of my friends are going yeah it's gonna be awesome it's on valentine's day so it's like all of our lonely single dudes are all gonna go to mj lenderman which is gonna be fun um you say all five of my friends
The guys that we talked about on the last episode, do you remember? It was, like, your Teach Me Something, or You Have This Guy Rocks. It was, like, them singing, and then... We all said, like, oh, that was great, and then progressed to maybe, like, something about those kind of people can be insufferable.
That's good for going like this. Put your clothes back on.
I got a sick fit. One of his older songs is called Dan Marino. Yep. And I got a Dan Marino jersey on eBay that I'm going to wear.
No, but I just felt like big groups were, like, they just all get together and, like, sing and, like, I don't know. But it was honestly probably I was jealous. But then I got a text from my friend, Carolina, that was, like, that was my friend from high school. And she sent me his... He had posted on his Instagram story and been, like, yeah, I guess we're insufferable. Yeah.
Does that make sense? When everyone was trying it and getting way too high and freaking out, I was like, I'm not doing it. By the time I started doing weed, everyone... If you're smoking for the first time around people who are all chill and not freaking out, you're not going to...
Yes, that is when at the end of the night.
Yeah, but when I came back, I was like, what?
It was a glass bottle.
And then it wasn't... Nothing was happening. We were like, all right, maybe it isn't. And you and Brett walked over and, like, my buddy Brett and Rusty, like, walked over and, like, peeked at it and then stepped back. And, like, right after they stepped back, it actually exploded. I picked up the glass the next morning. There was glass, like, six feet from the fire pit.
What else is going on?
He was, he had a good, but it made me, I forgot it. Sometimes I forget it that this is going out to all these people.
I was Kyle Rittenhouse in this viral sketch. It fit very well. Jerry, my own roommate, edits the videos. Spelled my name wrong.
And now he never responds to your texts.
Sometimes I just say like off the cuff stuff. Like I'm off the cuff. I'm a, I'm a boundary pushing comedian. And sometimes I, you know, cross the line.
We're guys, man. We're pervs.
Parents had a really nice friend named Merv back in the day, and we used to always... Me and my brother would call him Merv the Perv. But he was just a very sweet man, and he didn't deserve that. But it was just... If your name's Merv...
Oh, Gooey Tip? I had already sent that. I had already seen that. I have a group chat just for names. I'll do a name of the week. Name of the week. Look up New York Jets special teams coordinator.
Chris Banjo. That's a good one. Or look up
Did you guys? Wait, we have to hear their pitches. Ah, I'm excited. Do you want mine since you didn't do a pitch?
Write that down for next sayings.
All right, let's hear their pitches. All right, we're skipping the permitting in the building. Skipping the permitting. Not for good, but for a little bit.
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Oh, the Mets got Pete Alonzo, by the way. Jesus.
Scissors. Scissors. Scissors. Scissors. I might kill myself.
did you say there's no end date like no did i say that well just i just mean like towards the end of like the vacation you're like i feel like i'm kind of like i need to get out of this person's hair a little bit yeah i can be a lot i don't know i feel like going for staying for it's gonna be funny if my buddy ben listens to this but staying for a week is a lot
Apparently my sister does.
Our first follower?
I still haven't finished Peaky Blinders, which is what I've been watching for six months now. Like last night, I had the apartment to myself. Jerry and Scott were both gone. I didn't watch anything. I didn't even turn the TV on.
Where are you going the 15th? I think I'm going to the Channel Islands.
It's always something.
But that might actually be Sunday. All right, well, get back to me.
I'm almost like you can't travel. You couldn't travel.
My friend Peter... You cannot drive with a half-drank bottle of alcohol.
uh it could or it could be its own company it's a proposed merger between h and r block and spirit halloween yep think about it tax season and halloween are completely inverted they're opposites on the calendar right so h and r block is probably popping this time of year spirit halloween's dead spirit halloween's popping in october no one's filing their taxes they should just share the same brick and mortar shops and uh make twice as much money
No. Someone else does it? I don't know. I mean, I think some people file quarterly. All right. I do yearly.
Genius. I haven't really cracked how that makes sense, but I like the idea. I think you actually might be onto something. Yeah. That was pretty good. Thank you. All right. Teach me something, Willie.
I was reading about Slovenia. My parents were supposed to go to Slovenia, but they had to cancel their trip. But I was reading about Slovenia. And do you know how big the capital of Ljubljana is? No. 280,000 people. Okay. Which is about the size of Plano, Texas or Lincoln, Nebraska. I just thought that was just an interesting perspective.
Yeah. Anchorage, Alaska.
Ljubljana. Ljubljana. L-U-B-J. That's where Luka Doncic is from. Oh, this is real.
Patrick Crash, probably. Maybe that's perspective for how big America is. Right. Also, Luka Doncic, small town kid.
Here's something fun. Ready? Who wants something fun? jack does all right uh now i'm gonna ask you to name the list of u.s cities by population are you doing daily tens no i'm just on wikipedia all right ready you're gonna ask me this is this by the way i believe is not metro area this is like the actual city okay you want me to guess top 10 in the u.s new york city yes los angeles yes chicago yes
Yep, blue collar, blue collar.
Where the hell did you read this?
Did you just make it up?
She was found dead.
Where did you get this?
And you made fun of my TP something. People at home are probably like, wow, I didn't know Ljubljana is the same as Lincoln, Nebraska. And then yours is false. One guy slams on the bricks. He's like, what?
I know. My parents, they had a whole trip planned for next week. And then my uncle got sick. So now they got to push it. But we'll see.
This guy rocks today.
Oh, my gosh. What? Wait, this is my area. Glenview, Northbrook, Evanston, Wilmette. This is my home town.
Wait, this is like 10 minutes from where I grew up.
My brother just DM'd me that the Mets posted a listing for careers, one of which is mascot handler. He just sent that to me and said, mascot handler, how do you do, Mrs. Met?
Yeah, that doesn't sound bad at all.
Like, I know that you're out tonight looking for an answer. Well, your heart might break from loving, but those boots won't break from dancing. Um...
He's, like, trying to rationalize the ocean in terms of, like, what he understands. It's, like, overwhelming if he doesn't. He's, like, freaking the fuck out.
I'm picturing him riding a dolphin like a cowboy.
Well, there's only so much hay that a horse can eat, and there's only so much pain that a man can see. That's all I wrote.
Yeah, it's true.
I've got tied to my trailer hitch. She let me down in the dirt, stuck in the darkest ditch. Only way she would have stayed is if I tied her to my trailer hitch.
Well, the working life just ain't for a boy like me. So I'll take my fishing rod and I'll clock in at the creek.
And you in my arms making sweet love all night long. Is that pervy?
It's sweet love.
I don't know how to say flies down. These are ways to tell your buddy his fly is down. Wait, these are ways to tell your friend their fly is down. Make it more gender neutral.
Kind of makes it sound like it might be hard.
I gotta tell you guys, because I had the absolute worst thing in the history of the universe. Most embarrassing thing ever that's happened in the history of the universe happened to me. I stepped in a puddle yesterday.
I feel like the way you said this implied she was going to get a lot of money out of this.
I'm stealing MJ Lenderman's personality.
I also might. Because I'm also going to Henway this weekend.
Another band? What's a henway?
Yeah, it was almost like, am I like a little kid?
Everyone comment airplane dub Lauren. What else? I have a big announcement. Please. I had the best thing ever happen to me. It's not really an announcement. You guys know. I finally broke 18 under in Wii Golf.
I've been streaming it, playing it in my spare time for years now. Has it been a year? Well, streaming from the last, yeah, it's been over a year. since I first did it, but then I got into regularly doing it this year. But I've been playing it since freshman year of college. I finally was able to achieve not only 18 under, but I smashed my record and I shot 20 under. That's insane.
If anyone can shoot 20 under Open the picture of your face right here.
If there's a definitive... There's been definitive evidence. We've had multiple sources, online sources, in-person sources. We've asked Motts. We've asked Edge. We looked it up online. There's absolutely no way you're right. And you still think you're right. That's exactly my point.
Yeah. Was that it's the dumbest. This is the dumbest. This is the kind of shit we get in arguments about.
um i was raining yesterday yeah it was pouring i had to but we had this shoot for aftv and uh it ended and i had to bike home and it was dark out it was like eight o'clock and it was pouring rain and it was soaking i got so soaked it was the soak it was the most soak fest man the most soaked i've ever been it's just like it's so like
You take... Like, I don't even look at the weather here, really. Yeah.
I like it if you're not in it and cold.
Well, you know, Malfoy.
Karen and Jill. That was good.