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Brian Simpson

Appearances

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

1015.601

She's not going to embarrass him.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

1019.203

And he's playing.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

1023.245

Oh.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

1145.204

I don't even know what you're talking about.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

1147.987

I don't follow any of the political stuff.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

1210.352

He rented it. Okay.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

1270.45

I mean, did he leave some kind of manifesto? I don't know if he left a note. Did he leave a note?

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

1566.844

Oh, so you're suggesting someone else wrote that? Yes.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

1573.669

Yeah, you're right.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

16.579

Imagine having to be that measured in everything you say all the time. Just stick to the talking points.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

1608.142

Yeah, you're not going to forget what your first car was.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

1620.72

I mean, I've never seen anybody get that wrong.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

164.872

Yeah, but I think I think they every president to get in there. They do. They do little shit different than the other side. But at the end of the day, the big major shit that would help out the average people, that shit, it always falls short a couple of votes.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

1776.284

That is weird.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

1778.846

Bro, this is how shocked that I am.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

1956.382

But what's the rest of the conspiracy?

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

1982.9

Well, show us the public records.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

1999.582

Yeah, but what about that 1998 is a full Mustang?

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

2020.292

Because, you see, the thing is, whenever weird shit happens, the first people to talk be full of shit. They the worst people.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

2047.278

2018, he got a Ford Mustang GT.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

2095.356

My homie, when I was in the service, he had this fucking blue Corvette. I forget what year it was, but it was old. But he was obsessed with this motherfucking car. And it was so fucking loud. Yeah. It was definitely like a 70-something. You know what I mean? Or a 60-something. It was like an old. Oh, the cool ones. Yeah, but it was like no modern technology in this motherfucker.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

2116.178

It was loud as shit.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

2166.204

Corvette Z1.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

2237.83

Oh, we were talking about how you remember your first car.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

2246.998

Everybody should drive a stick shift Miata. But you can't buy your... Because some people get crazy and they buy their kids shit like that.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

2269.346

Bro, have I told you how many in my... how many of my friends or family that I've had to talk out of getting a motorcycle. Like it's like that midlife crisis part where it's like, hey bro, you never rode a motorcycle. Like you 40, you can't start now. I got real close and then the universe gave me a whole bunch of signs. Because even the best riders in the world will lay that bike down. Yep.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

2292.582

So it's like, you out here, you haven't ridden a bike ever or in 25 years, you're going to get fucked up out there.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

23.641

That's stressful.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

2319.542

and there were girls in the street and this guy, a bunch of motorcycles went by but only one girl got hit. But it was like. Vehicles.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

2421.663

And I don't think it was some kind of malfunction. It probably was bad communication. Somebody got wrong information. Yeah, maybe. Maybe.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

2445.684

This is why I checked out, bro. Because it's so hard to take everything serious because we live in such a ridiculous time. The chances are more than zero that what you said is the case just now. Right, more than zero. It's like, we live in a ridiculous, we don't trust anything. Right. I don't.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

2466.614

So it's like, that could be somebody, because my next thought shouldn't be, I wonder if somebody important was on that jet.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

2481.261

No, bullshit, no way.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

2505.632

Yeah, but they gonna fuck some... I mean, listen, because all I have to judge... This is the tinfoil.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

2511.757

Yeah, but all I have to judge my artificial intelligence is the Google Gemini and ChatGVT, and they be fucking shit up. Yeah, but this is just consumer-grade.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

255.237

That's the thing. It's like if you bring in the tariffs, you have to make them so high that the American guns were cheaper by comparison.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

2587.448

They probably do have them. So why didn't it work? We're going to find out pretty soon. Or we'll never find out.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

2618.866

Oh, yeah. Because that's the thing. I was like, it would have to be a group of people. Because if they just wanted to take out one person, why waste a helicopter? There's better ways to kill one person.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

2660.402

And that shit was ripe for comedy for like five years. Yeah. People get vicious about shit, man. People get vicious. But here's the other thing. It might just be incompetence. Most likely it's incompetence.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

2700.735

Oh, like this was a test run?

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

2703.396

See, I think a better conspiracy would be if we found out that it was like Delta was behind it. You know what I mean? Delta tried to take out American Airlines? Or like Alaska was like, yo, we're going to fucking ruin their reputation.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

2845.12

Almost everything we have.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

2847.062

I think that it probably is the case, but it's definitely our government doing it.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

295.439

Everybody gets their shit from somewhere. Yeah. I mean, like I said, the problem with American manufacturing is you can't do it for as cheap because you have to pay people enough to live.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

3000.974

But it can be done. That's why people... It's going to be a couple generations before people will...

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

3009.232

be down with it being fully autonomous cars like you know we see all these driverless cars around this motherfucker but it's like i ain't getting one of them motherfuckers yeah get the fuck out of here no way but but because if they wanted to kill you i mean we saw that in the old the new total recall they did that where it's like all the cars drive themselves but when they want to find you they fucking stop your car pull you over yeah well everybody's terrified about that you know and um

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

3098.44

They just shut your car off. Right. But imagine being a drug runner and getting all the features.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

3123.213

One of my favorite online lawyers, he always goes, his name's Bruce Rivers. But he always saying, never commit a misdemeanor while you committing a felony. If you're moving cocaine, don't break the speed limit. Put on your seatbelt.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

3191.044

A bit of it, for sure. Because who stops selling drugs when they get away with it? Nobody. Right. Why would they stop doing that? Right. Now they just know how to not get caught. Well, maybe they probably work with people. Because please believe, if we really, really wanted to stop drugs, it would be extreme, but we could.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

3243.463

I rarely see anybody drunk.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

3270.919

Yeah, I mean, you're definitely just not thinking. You're just doing. But what is Adderall?

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

3277.56

It's an amphetamine, for sure.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

3293.084

I think the biggest problem is most people's lives suck so bad that drugs is their only... You know what I mean? That's true too. That's true too. That's instant happiness. That's true. You know what's so funny is I think a lot of people assume that most of the homeless people on the street are homeless because they had a drug problem. But it's usually the other way around.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

3318.729

They usually are fine when they hit the street and they start using drugs. Because what else the fuck are you going to do? Where else are you going to get happiness from? You're not warm. You're not safe.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

3346.482

And I don't know what the solution is. Oh, just legalize everything. I don't know that either. I would have said that five years ago, but... Maybe that is the ultimate solution, but the way it's implemented – because I think they tried that in Seattle or Portland or somewhere. Yeah, they had to stop it.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

3363.39

Yeah, and so it's like – but they also just went from what we're doing now to just everything's legal.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

3375.802

No.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

3382.697

Yeah, it was Oregon.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

3486.349

See, that's how I feel about health care.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

3489.21

That's a good way to look at it. It's like, imagine if a fire department could deny you when your house was burning.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

3516.386

Some shit just can't be for profit. If we want it to be for the best, some stuff can't be for profit.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

3555.19

You know how I reacted the same way when they got Osama bin Laden. I was like, it's the same to me.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

3566.019

No, but I mean, they both are indirectly responsible for the deaths of how many Americans? Except he was doing it for profit. Osama was doing it for the love of the game or whatever.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

3592.043

You can't let people's grandmas die and let them stay in pain and shit and then expect them to have empathy for you.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

361.232

They need to bring back the Nokia phones. Remember those brick phones? Yes. Well, don't do that. Indestructible. Make it dope. Make it a dope phone. But, you know. I don't know, man. I think those days are long gone. The days of American manufacturing? Yeah.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

3656.709

And you also got to...

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

3685.212

They're impressed by the shit you're doing too.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

3709.277

No, I don't think they feel guilty. I mean, some people might feel guilty afterwards.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

3722.898

But it's like the easiest person to lie to is yourself. So it's like you probably feel like shit. You get that first paycheck and you start twisting shit so you could justify it.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

3741.671

Standard is a word they use a lot when they're trying to fuck you.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

3751.114

And it wasn't bipartisan, that's what I mean. That was the wildest thing about the whole thing. It was like you couldn't tell by any other information from anybody how they felt about it.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

3802.899

Because for me, it just depends on who got murdered. I'm not rooting for a murderer.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

3819.705

And they haven't said specifically. I mean, there's a lot of speculation about was it a family member or like he'd had a back surgery that screwed him up and... But like I said, I only I only get the news that like rises. That's like forced in my face because I don't I don't watch any of the.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

3876.459

I think that's something that you can partisanize. Partisanize a word? I think it's something you can make partisan. But like I said, that's what's special. That's what's special about this is... Everybody got fucked over by Trump. Everybody got fucked over. So there's people that love Dick Cheney or there's people that still hold those politics from back then.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

3894.025

I don't know if anybody loved Dick Cheney.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

3901.69

What? You forgot? Yeah, but I just mean, I don't think he is as hated as... I mean, the truth is, nobody knew that CEO's name before this. But the whole business is hated. So he became the face of that. And it's definitely apolitical. It's like, I don't know a single person that hasn't had an issue with health insurance.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

393.431

See, you know what I realize is like why – because sometimes politics comes up in the green room and I just – I always separate myself from the conversation because I realize – what everybody has, regardless of what size of issues they on, is they, y'all have hope. I'm cynical, I'm cynical than a motherfucker.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

4002.203

Stay private. Stay private. Yeah, but don't you think the type of person that would even want to make an insurance company, like I think you would have to be a certain type. Yeah, you have to be a certain type. I should profit from suffering somehow.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

4021.073

Because I think if you start heading in that direction of like ethical health care, eventually you're going to arrive at, oh, there shouldn't be health insurance. It should just cost what it costs.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

4098.511

Using AI to deny.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

412.111

I'm like, this shit was over, this shit been, you know, it's like, for me, I'm like, I see, I see the asteroid coming. Yeah. And I'm like, ain't nothing we gonna be able to do about that.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

4300.749

Or they tell you all of that and then they go, oh, actually, you not covered. Because you didn't tell us about this thing from, yeah. Okay, well, I still need the surgery and I don't have, you know, $50,000. Right. Like that's the shitty part. Yeah, because there's some people that like they are healthy and they take care of themselves and they pay their insurance.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

4324.897

And they're completely fucked. They're completely fucked. And it's like that shouldn't be possible.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

4342.833

Oh, bro, did you also know there's fucking, there's fires, the same thing's happening in South America and Africa. Really? Yeah, just whole places burning the fuck down. I'm shocked that I'm not hearing more about that.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

4373.289

There's satellite footage of all the three fires starting at the same time.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

4405.746

Yeah, and I remember there being a big one probably like 2007 or 2008.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

4439.914

That's actually hilarious.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

4445.015

He's an arsonist with a fire truck.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

4457.418

But it's wild that you, I feel like if you go to prison for arson, like you purposely burn a shit, if they let you out, they should at least track you like they track pedos. Well, you've killed a lot of people.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

4482.052

25 burned alive.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

4547.148

Yeah, I think we're going to see more and more of this. It's getting hotter and drier. Well, they have to fix it.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

4582.606

But don't they do all that shit every year?

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

4640.906

Yeah, but he might have been telling the truth.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

4649.716

That don't mean he was lying.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

4663.833

Yeah, that's wild. I mean, it's wild to just carry a blowtorch around. How much is a lighter?

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

4670.298

Yeah, like a dollar. Maybe it's probably $1.20 something.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

4681.277

Who makes Bix? Am I guessing? See, in my head, I was thinking, like, you in the house, you can't find a lighter. So you're like, I got a torch. I'm going to just use that. But you're saying he was, like, walking around outside.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

4696.025

He said, Google, it's empty. It's like, even if you're telling the truth, like, your stupid ass deserve just the inconvenience.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

4762.34

Man, it's the best one ever. Yeah. Easy. I know, I need to sit down and watch it. Everybody tells me it's awesome. It's the best monologue I've ever seen on SNL.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

4772.964

He compares Palestine to the Palestinians. Yeah, he pretty much went through all the major things that's going on.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

4793.628

I want to see it. Because like I said, I never see shit like this.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

4798.03

Good.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

4800.812

No, I don't mind people sending me the news, but I just don't actively go seek it out. This is so depressing. Because I'm like, if it's something I need to know, somebody will tell me about it.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

4863.256

Motherfucker.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

4957.93

See, man, this is why I avoid the news. It's because all the stupidest people I know are happy as shit. So I'm like, I just need to know less. And I can enjoy it.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

4976.093

I think things are getting real weird, real weird. Because you know what it is? It's the death of truth. It's hard to know what's true. You hear something, it sounds true, and then you hear something else, you go, that's not true. And then both can point to the links and studies, and you're like, it's just stressful trying to figure out what's correct and what isn't. Yeah, that's on purpose.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

5042.442

Did you see the scientific discovery yesterday?

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

5045.703

They fucking, they had a, they found an asteroid. Oh. I did see this. And it had like most of the ingredients for life on it.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

5056.407

Like all the amino acids. Not all of them, but like all but three. And then all of the, I forget what the big ass word this lady used. But I think this was a theory before, but it's becoming more and more likely that life was seeded by an asteroid or something.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

5077.636

Panspermia.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

513.619

Yeah, but, you know, the problem with that is we live in a society where, like, none of that shit's going to happen unless they make more money than what we're already doing.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

5135.095

Did you find it? Osiris Rex mission. So they found amino acids, nucleotide bases, minerals from saltwater and more.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

5159.363

That's one of the theories. Isn't that an asteroid?

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

5182.66

Yeah, I've heard, I think I heard Neil deGrasse Tyson talk about that recently. All of it is like, what are you even saying? Or that gravity is different in different places, something like that?

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

5206.241

That's what I'm saying, bro.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

5233.995

Like what happened? Yeah. I mean, science has been kind of killing it.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

5243.457

Remember when I first told you about it hadn't launched yet? And I was like, that's going to change everything.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

5278.662

But then didn't somebody recently – well, not recently, but didn't someone say that like it's still within the margin of error? Yeah.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

53.253

Yeah, but, you know, he's kind of always been known for the gaffes. Like, because I remember when Obama was picked him, that was the number one concern was like, oh, but sometimes he be saying shit.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

5345.035

Or maybe infant. The next time you come on here, I want to be here the next time you have one of these motherfuckers. These Lawrence Krauss. You want to be in here with that? Michio Kaku. Yeah!

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

5565.896

Well, if you were like abducted by a UFO, you're going to sound crazy. What are you going to do? Like you walk in the green room and you see me changing heads. I turn around like, oh.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

5580.11

Yeah, it's like no one will believe you. The new Alien Romulus. Have you seen the new one? Oh yeah, it was great. Actually, I saw it. That was the first time I actually enjoyed one of those, I don't know, they call them 4D or D-Box. They got the smoke and the Oh, you went to one of those places? I saw that movie, yeah. Oh, that's a good move.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

5603.433

Yeah, and the thing is, it's not a consistent experience yet, but that was the best one I've had so far. Especially when I realized you could turn the water off. Because when the aliens spray, some of the shit get on you and shit. It's like a spray from the ceiling. And I was like, you know, I'm having a good time. But I don't want to get wet. But can I turn this fucking water off? But you can't.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

5624.126

I just didn't realize it for way too long.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

5654.045

I don't know, Prometheus was kind of the same kind of spirit.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

5663.591

I didn't like Prometheus until the second time I watched it.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

5666.733

Yeah, because it just wasn't what I was expecting. But once I saw it on its own merit... I think Covenant's better.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

5681.862

Oh, no, no.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

5685.684

Yeah. Okay, yeah, that was great.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

5699.132

That's Prometheus. I forget what they called them.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

5706.733

They didn't have a war. They were seeding other planets.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

5734.155

It's fucking good. Well, you know what was dope about Aliens 1 and what was the one? Prometheus? No, no. Aliens 2? The latest one. Oh, God, what did I call it? Romulus. So what they had in common was, like, the protagonist didn't know what they were dealing with. Right. So that's what made it more exciting.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

575.125

You're going to fucking kill our profits. Fuck this healthy shit. Because that's the other thing. But what's different now than what's happening back then is we're so divided. If somebody in the government suggested anything was the best, the healthiest thing, at least half the country would be like, I'm not fucking with it for that very reason. You're so right.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

5759.187

Yeah, and all the other aliens after that was like... Yeah. Sigourney Weaver's like, I know exactly how to deal with these motherfuckers.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

5768.05

Please believe me.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

5774.233

And then wasn't there one where she gave birth to one?

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

5793.744

Bro, speaking of which, yo, Charlize Theron, it's a movie on Netflix. I have no idea why it wasn't bigger, but it's called, like, she's immortal. Can you look that up? She's immortal? Yeah, she leads this team of immortals, and they're like mercenaries or whatever. So it's like a superhero movie? Kind of. Old Guard. Old Guard. It's good as shit. Really? Yeah. Really?

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

5818.78

She's real good at playing like a badass. You know, she played Furiosa. She killed that shit. Well, she also played Eileen Wuornos, that serial killer bitch.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

5826.668

Yeah.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

5846.285

Let me see it. I didn't see it.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

5849.787

I've seen Monsters.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

5871.512

And she looks just like that lady. No, but I didn't see this. I was mixing this up with another movie called I Pissed On Your Grave or something. Yeah, there's a revenge movie called I Pissed On Your Grave.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

5919.364

So Blade's a vampire movie the way that Die Hard's a Christmas movie.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

5941.342

So what about the teenage heartthrobby one that kind of ruined it?

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

595.207

It's like they attached Obama to Obamacare, even though it was not a bad thing. And if Trump was like, hey, every American, jumping jacks is the best exercise. People are like, you don't know Trump jacks. That's your president's exercise. So it's like, we're so divided, nothing's going to stick.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

5962.574

But you know, I'm not one of those people that's like, it doesn't have to be good for me to like it. Because there's a lot of people that like bad movies. Right. I can't get with it.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

6078.322

And you're like, oh my God. And this isn't my take. I've heard other people talk about it like this, but that's the other thing that made Alien great. It's like you don't always show the monster. Exactly. Exactly. horror is like seeing the monster and how much it's gonna definitely kill you. But like terror is like... knowing that there's some shit in here and I don't know what the fuck it is.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

6104.206

You need a little foreplay. Yeah, yeah. It's like I walk in. You need a little foreplay before you get horrified. Why is Johnson dead? Yes. I was just in here with him. What the fuck? Why the wall built it? You know, that's the shit that makes it good. Exactly.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

6119.689

That's why Jaws was such a hit.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

6123.33

It still holds up. Predator still holds up. You ever seen Predator?

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

6126.11

That still holds up. The first Predator.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

6130.547

No, no, my favorite line is when... Jesse Vendura? No, no, when they walk into the woods and the old boy keeps making noise, he goes, he goes, you fucking this motherfucker. Like, he tell him, like, if you keep making noise, I'm going to bleed you. I'm going to, like, leave you out here. I forget what the word is he used, but he was like, you telling everybody where the fuck we at.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

6151.766

By the way, you moving, talking, tripping, sliding. Yeah, there's something about that, the idea that a sporting alien would come down and hunt people that's uniquely scary. So many iconic scenes in there, too. Oh, yeah. The joint with a native dude is like, fuck it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to take off my shit. I'm going to cut my chest. What's up? That's a fucking dope one.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

6173.694

The one where Arnold and Apollo Creed, where they do this right here. Yeah. So this was wild. That's a meme now. Yeah. Right? But just their arms. Uh-huh. And a lot of people don't even know that it's from Predator. They just see it as like, that's the meme. Right, right, right. Yeah, I've tried to show that to one of my nephews.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

6197.248

He was like, oh, that's like the cooperation meme or whatever the fuck they call it.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

6206.573

There it is. I'm here for that.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

6214.316

They're like, this is how two badasses say hello.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

6218.094

It's so stupid. It's so dumb. No, this movie was, the dialogue is crazy. That's back when Carl Weathers was jacked.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

6231.223

You didn't know when to quit, huh?

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

6248.59

Yeah.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

6255.837

Bro, the run that Arnold had. Oh, he did a gang of great movies. Like, just action. Like, he's the action star. Conan, bro.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

6263.484

Conan the Barbarian.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

6303.89

Super nerd. There was like a comic book before?

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

6333.63

You know what Conan was for me as a kid? It was my first John Wick. Right. It was like, oh, this dude going to fuck everything up.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

6342.08

Yeah.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

6463.338

It's not the best one ever. It's actually dark as hell.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

6494.419

So the same guy that did Nosferatu did Northman?

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

6497.941

Yes.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

6531.122

I'm here for monsters, action, revenge. That's my kind of movies.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

6550.617

Maybe the guy they want to lead it.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

6557.382

Oh, wait a minute. So it's a new character. He did The Lighthouse 2?

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

6592.086

They were like, ah, it looked just like a person. I went and saw that. My family went and saw that, and I went and saw a different movie. It was the first time that, because it was like a thing we did. We'd go to the movies like every other week. But my father, my stepfather didn't give a fuck about no age limit. They're like, you're going to see what we see here.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

6612.304

This was the first time I was like, I don't want to see that shit. And I still end up going in there after because my movie was over before this. I think I went and saw Short Circuit 2 or something. Look, he's going and chasing after this deer.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

6733.607

I can just feel everybody in this room about to die. Everybody's going to die. It's great. Oh, this is awesome.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

677.876

I'm talking about how much we're divided, but it's weird. That's the one thing they couldn't divide people on. I remember after the CEO got popped... on CNN and MSNBC and Fox, the narrative was the like, how dare people be excited? Because at first they tried to do what they do with everything and they say, oh, look at these liberals fucking laughing at death.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

6796.925

Dr. Hunnigan?

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

6907.503

It's a great fucking scene. See, my only problem with it is it's not a scary enough wolf.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

6983.275

I do remember there's a scene with a subway scene, right?

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

70.669

I never heard that.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

700.919

And then they realize like, oh, the insurance industry is fucked over everybody. Everybody. They don't give a fuck who you voted for.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

7012.353

I guess maybe scary ain't the right word. But it was the sequel to X. The sequel to X? And I'm forgetting the name of it. Yeah, not Malcolm X, but the same girl played in both movies. You know what I'm talking about? It was called... Okay, yeah, so the sequel to this movie... So what is X? It's about... It's a slasher film? Yeah, it's a slasher film, yeah.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

7037.41

But the sequel to it... Because I never saw that when I saw this. Okay. I still haven't seen X.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

7052.857

No, that's not it.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

7055.26

No. It's on there? It's got that same girl in it. Who's the star of this? Pearl. That's what I mean. Oh, so Pearl was a prequel. Oh, okay. I didn't realize. Okay, so Pearl came out. I saw Pearl before. I haven't seen any of the rest of these. This shit is crazy. I liked it. And she's a serial killer? She's insane.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

7077.146

But it's like, you kind of know she's the monster the whole time, but she doesn't become monstrous. It's kind of the same thing. And she's cute? Yeah, she's cute. She's adorable at first glance.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

7162.976

Jesus Christ. Yeah, bro. You want to talk about like a... This looks psychotic. Like this bitch is just slipping into insanity further and deeper and deeper and deeper.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

7184.696

It wasn't a rampage. In fact, that's the thing. That's the thing I respect more is that the people that shoot up a place, it's like if you mad at somebody, go after them. Why you killing people that got nothing to do with your beef? Right? At least he was specific. He didn't build in.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

7247.62

He just hit you with so many though. So many in a row. I can't even – that's like his – Oh, you didn't know? His entertainment. Oh, yeah. It's his life. And I'm on the complete opposite end of the spectrum. Exactly. I like to hear people that's into it talk about it, but I'm never going to go look it up.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

7291.99

This is probably true a lot of the time. But where you run into logical trouble is just because they lie and don't mean that the first alternative that people give you is the truth. Right, like some kooky YouTube video. Yeah. That's got it broken down. So it's like, they don't want you to know. I saw, bro, did you see this shit? You know Godfrey? The comic?

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

7315.483

So he had, I forget the name of the scientist, but he had a scientist come on and debate Lord Jamar. Lord Jamar's a flat earther. And it didn't go well. Of course it didn't.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

7338.902

Yeah, but bro, imagine that being your whole life is just opposition.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

7353.191

You know Christopher Hitchens, right? Sure. He made his whole career debating Christians and Muslims. He would go to their churches and debate their leaders. And somebody asked him one time, like, hey, if you could snap your fingers— and make all religion just go away. Like, would you do that? And he was like, honestly, no, because I just like arguing with them too much.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

736.875

If Trump actually fixed health care, he would go down as one of the greatest presidents. It would be... I think it would be a whole different, like if he actually did like viable, real change to the healthcare system that like made it work for everybody.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

7376.673

Or something to that effect. Those weren't his exact words, but it was like... Something to that effect. I think you got to be a special kind of person to be like, no, I want all the smoke. I want to argue directly with people that I don't think.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

7462.847

But also it's like we're puzzle-solving creatures. It's like the need to have an answer to the puzzles. Oh, yeah.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

7484.898

Wait until your God gets home, young man.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

7489.5

Oh, man. That fucked me up for a little while when I was like, you know. That God was watching all the time? Because we used to go, when I was little, I would get, there was a church that was also a school. They were a Christian school, but on Sunday, they used the school buses to go pick up kids, just like school, but it was for church. And we got sent to that.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

7511.296

It wasn't even the church my grandmother went to. She just sent us to this one.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

7567.309

You don't know about that?

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

76.584

But he got out of all of it.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

7649.406

They don't fuck around.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

7655.168

They don't have religious freedom. I bet you the Mormons got an app.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

7729.915

Wow. How'd she know they were screaming? Was she there? I don't know, man.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

7749.724

And they weren't connected to that dope shit? They got to be.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

7757.912

Because this is why that don't make sense to me.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

7766.901

You don't accidentally shoot the wrong caravan. I mean, what's the chances that another caravan looked just like yours?

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

7793.14

Yeah. I feel pretty safe where I'm at.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

7802.591

But hasn't the Mexican government like started cracking down on the cartel? I don't know. They did that shit somewhere. I mean, I'm pretty sure the dude is a dictator. Yeah. But he just locked everybody up.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

7847.974

That depends on who you give a fuck about.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

7855.819

Probably a little bit of that going on, too. In that type of situation where it's like a drastic change and they're rounding up hundreds of thousands of people, there's going to be a couple of revenge joints slipped in there. Oh, damn. Sorry, Jorge. I accidentally put.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

7872.808

It's not Venezuela.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

7893.302

I don't know.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

7912.212

What do you do? How do you sustain that too?

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

7932.136

You know my stance.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

7936.318

We're cooked.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

7946.984

Because I think people are less intelligent when they're in large groups. The larger the group, the dumber the average IQ, I bet, in terms of how people behave. Well, I think also in large groups, you don't have to think as much because things are set up for you. And it's just because, you know how I know we're doomed? Okay. Online gaming.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

7967.657

When you go play a team, I'm playing this Marvel rival shit everybody playing now, but it's like try to get matched up randomly with five other people and get everybody to cooperate. And how often you come across people that are just completely selfish to the point where they'll lose on purpose. And they take the penalty for losing too, but just to ruin your day.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

7988.763

Well, that's just randoms that you're meeting online, though. Right, but I mean— You've got to cultivate. You see how people communicate. And obviously gaming is a certain demographic, but I just mean— Incels. It just reminds me. No, it's not incels. It's regular people out there that just act like assholes when they're anonymous. Yeah, of course, because they can. So people will do selfish—100%.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

8007.893

You see these game shows where it's like, you know, it's that whole, what's it called, the prisoner's dilemma or whatever.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

8014.976

We can all win or I can win. And how often do you see people just go, fuck all of y'all? And they probably encourage you to do it because it makes for good TV. And I know, look, there's good people out there. I meet extraordinary people all the time, especially now that I live here. I meet people all the time that's like, wow, if it was more people like you, we would be good.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

8032.621

But it's so little people like you.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

8065.874

Yeah, everything you've got to make do. I'm not with that either. Some friends are worth making.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

8074.173

But I know what you're saying. I know what you're saying. It's hard. You know what it is? I can make a new friend. I'm very emotionally unavailable. So I just need friends that don't need that. You know what I mean?

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

8102.769

Maybe emotionally unavailable is not the right word, but I'm very... I feel very much burdened by unexpected obligations.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

8110.2

So, like, if you hit me with some last-minute shit or you constantly need me, because I'll be there for you. But if you're constantly needing stuff and it gets to that, I just.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

8137.249

Bro, you know what? I love being by myself. I love going to a restaurant alone. I love company, too, but I go to the movies alone. I like being alone. I like shopping alone. Well, you have a balance. You spend enough time in front of thousands of people. Because you know what I don't like? I don't like variables.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

8155.32

It's like the more people that come, the more shit can switch up, the more people go wrong.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

8164.464

How many times have we eaten dinner? What would you say is the perfect amount of people to bring to dinner?

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

8180.224

Oh, right, right, right.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

8204.574

But I say, but six is for me. Six is a good number. If I hear that it's going to be more than six, now it's like it's going to be separate conversations. And what if Bob can't drink?

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

8225.505

But, yeah, I just don't like being in big groups. Right.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

8241.591

My middle name could be who all going to be there. Right. You invite me to something? Because even now, like Derek and them, they'll invite me to stuff even though they know I'm not coming.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

8268.496

It's a gift of the curse. Oh, it's a gift. That's why I say ignorance is bliss. When you notice too much, you can't be happy. You can't possibly be happy. Or you've got to distract yourself. You can be happy for a second when you're on a drug or having a good time, but eventually you go, how did that fucking helicopter crash into a plane?

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

8309.874

Of course it's martial arts, but my dumb ass, my mind went to like, you teaching in a classroom like a professor? Oh, and they would fight?

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

8392.356

Yeah. But you can still be world champion and be that person.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

8405.85

You're not going to speak well in like 20 years. At the end. Yeah, yeah, yeah. At the end, it's going to be rough. Because it's amazing to me. That's another thing. We talk about legacy and stuff like that, but – MMA-wise, Jon Jones is equivalent to Floyd Mayweather in terms of how little damage he's taken over.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

8428.744

The first Gustafson fight.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

8443.035

He said that was the hardest he ever got hit, Rashad.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

8462.559

I think Shogun stopped him.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

8530.219

Just that bitch, though. Rampage used to— Yeah.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

8571.195

Look how tiny that referee is.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

8589.983

I saw a video of somebody talking shit to him. Like one of the young fighters now talking shit to him. Oh, it was Kevin Holland.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

8603.926

Young guys are, you know how they are. Because that's like if Randy Couture would say something out of pocket. Right, right, right.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

8619.038

Yeah, because also like it doesn't look good. No. You arguing with him.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

8628.705

Yeah.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

8654.602

So then they fought again in 2007.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

8776.201

You see how tiny that motherfucker was? What you gonna do? What are you stopping in there?

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

8801.854

There's no way that Herb Dean is stronger than Francis Ngannou. Impossible. But you've got to be strong enough that they feel you.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

8817.934

I don't think I've ever seen him in person.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

8852.08

He's just like, that dude is never going to work again. Like, that's a wild shit to say and mean it. Yeah. People make mistakes. You know?

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

8886.322

Yeah, and the ref, they can only see from one angle.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

9056.638

I started that pay-per-view at that third round. So I hadn't seen the previous two rounds.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

9112.217

It's like Michael Chandler.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

9116.699

I never see Michael Chandler get tired. Incredible. Remember his last fight when he lost? With Oliveira, yeah. Yeah, but he's sitting there standing up with a motherfucker on his back in the last round.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

9200.9

It was clean. I think I was there. You might have been there. Yeah, man, we had some good-ass fights this year. And now Crawford's about to fight. Yes, he's going to fight Canelo. Oh, man. I just hope he's big enough. I hope he's big enough to keep that dude off him because Canelo hits so hard, man. That's one dude that I believe all the shit he be talking. Crawford? Yeah. Oh, he's good.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

9226.785

He don't just be saying shit.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

9267.369

He's a strategist that's also entertaining.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

9271.872

You know what I mean? He's an artist. Remember like a young B-hop?

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

9276.095

It was just so sharp and made it look almost entertaining. You know what I mean?

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

9303.398

Thank you. Oh, you know what? One thing we forgot to talk about. What? I wanted to thank you for sending people to go watch that clip of WAP on YouTube.

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2266 - Brian Simpson

979.058

If the government wanted everybody to do anything, they have to pay them. You know another problem with my theory? I'll give you a tax break if you lose 40 pounds.