Brian Phillips

Ralph might not have been interested in aiding and abetting laziness, but he was more than happy to send an unqualified technician into the IT department of one of the driving engines of the global economy if it meant helping Mero get laid.

Ralph might not have been interested in aiding and abetting laziness, but he was more than happy to send an unqualified technician into the IT department of one of the driving engines of the global economy if it meant helping Mero get laid.

That's right, the Minotaur. the original cowboy. So long story short, a hero called Theseus comes along, solves the maze, kills the Minotaur. The king's upset and he gets suspicious. Did Daedalus tell Theseus how to get through the labyrinth? Daedalus didn't, but the king doesn't believe him. So he takes Daedalus and Daedalus's son, who is 0% cow, and locks them both in a tower.

That's right, the Minotaur. the original cowboy. So long story short, a hero called Theseus comes along, solves the maze, kills the Minotaur. The king's upset and he gets suspicious. Did Daedalus tell Theseus how to get through the labyrinth? Daedalus didn't, but the king doesn't believe him. So he takes Daedalus and Daedalus's son, who is 0% cow, and locks them both in a tower.

And as Mero tells it, Ralph very much understood the assignment.

And as Mero tells it, Ralph very much understood the assignment.

Prong number three for surviving the application process, brazenly lie about knowing computers. Mero lied. Mero got the job.

Prong number three for surviving the application process, brazenly lie about knowing computers. Mero lied. Mero got the job.

Up next, Mero does his first job as an IT specialist who knows nothing about IT. And we have a serious talk about the importance of honesty in capitalism. After several commercials. The kid Marrow was moving up in the world.

Up next, Mero does his first job as an IT specialist who knows nothing about IT. And we have a serious talk about the importance of honesty in capitalism. After several commercials. The kid Marrow was moving up in the world.

Lehman Brothers was one of the highest-flying corporations in finance, and Marrow had lied his way out of the mailroom and gotten a new job in IT, a subject he knew practically nothing about.

Lehman Brothers was one of the highest-flying corporations in finance, and Marrow had lied his way out of the mailroom and gotten a new job in IT, a subject he knew practically nothing about.

Marrow made his way up to the 38th floor. His heart was pounding, or at least mine would have been. Everything at Lehman Brothers went through computers, and a significant part of the world economy went through Lehman Brothers. This was more than a simple hard drive swap. For all Marrow knew, if he screwed this up, there'd be a coup in Japan the next morning.

Marrow made his way up to the 38th floor. His heart was pounding, or at least mine would have been. Everything at Lehman Brothers went through computers, and a significant part of the world economy went through Lehman Brothers. This was more than a simple hard drive swap. For all Marrow knew, if he screwed this up, there'd be a coup in Japan the next morning.

Like, is this the right number of pins on this thing? Yeah.

Like, is this the right number of pins on this thing? Yeah.

You're like knocking the top of it. Like she's going to hold like Scotty on Star Trek.

You're like knocking the top of it. Like she's going to hold like Scotty on Star Trek.

Marrow had gone up for the IT job mostly because it wouldn't be all that much work compared to the mailroom under its new leadership. Now he realized that he had to avoid even the small amount of work that was expected of him at all costs.

Marrow had gone up for the IT job mostly because it wouldn't be all that much work compared to the mailroom under its new leadership. Now he realized that he had to avoid even the small amount of work that was expected of him at all costs.

Daedalus is like, well, this sucks. I don't want to live in a tower. Fortunately, Daedalus is a genius, so he figures out a way to escape. What he does is he invents wings, just casually builds some wings. He and his kid, a boy called Icarus, are going to fly right out of the tower. So Daedalus straps the wings on Icarus and he's like, okay, flying is easy.

Daedalus is like, well, this sucks. I don't want to live in a tower. Fortunately, Daedalus is a genius, so he figures out a way to escape. What he does is he invents wings, just casually builds some wings. He and his kid, a boy called Icarus, are going to fly right out of the tower. So Daedalus straps the wings on Icarus and he's like, okay, flying is easy.

He told his coworkers, hey, you know what? You go up and take care of this operating system crash. Which, he'd add, I could totally do, by the way. But because I'm so nice, I'll stay here and fill out all the paperwork so you don't have to do it.

He told his coworkers, hey, you know what? You go up and take care of this operating system crash. Which, he'd add, I could totally do, by the way. But because I'm so nice, I'll stay here and fill out all the paperwork so you don't have to do it.

If his coworkers complained, he'd just point out that at the time, he was smoking a lot of weed at work, and he probably shouldn't be wandering through the hallways on his own.

If his coworkers complained, he'd just point out that at the time, he was smoking a lot of weed at work, and he probably shouldn't be wandering through the hallways on his own.

Marrow, like Icarus himself, had gotten way too high.

Marrow, like Icarus himself, had gotten way too high.

I bet all the other tech guys loved you because, like, nobody wants to do the paperwork. Nobody, bro.

I bet all the other tech guys loved you because, like, nobody wants to do the paperwork. Nobody, bro.

Yeah, fuck that. You're like, yeah, we changed out the warp crystals on the dilithium drive. Yeah. Yeah, yo. Got some new photon torpedoes in the modem. Man, wait.

Yeah, fuck that. You're like, yeah, we changed out the warp crystals on the dilithium drive. Yeah. Yeah, yo. Got some new photon torpedoes in the modem. Man, wait.

They could still be there. They could, you know, under a different name. Well, maybe not at Lehman Brothers, but somewhere.

They could still be there. They could, you know, under a different name. Well, maybe not at Lehman Brothers, but somewhere.

This is also how I keep my job as a podcaster. So how long would you think a person could keep a tech support job at a massive global investment bank while being stoned most of the time and not knowing how to do any tech support? If I tried that at my job, I think I'd get caught in like four days max.

This is also how I keep my job as a podcaster. So how long would you think a person could keep a tech support job at a massive global investment bank while being stoned most of the time and not knowing how to do any tech support? If I tried that at my job, I think I'd get caught in like four days max.

This is two years. For half of an entire presidential term, for someone's whole junior and senior years of college, Marrow kept walking this tightrope. The 90s rolled over into the 2000s. The stack of incorrectly filled out paperwork kept getting taller. The pressure kept mounting. Mero kept lying at work.

This is two years. For half of an entire presidential term, for someone's whole junior and senior years of college, Marrow kept walking this tightrope. The 90s rolled over into the 2000s. The stack of incorrectly filled out paperwork kept getting taller. The pressure kept mounting. Mero kept lying at work.

And this was not as chill a thing to do as it maybe sounds, because the truth is, a lot of things about Lehman Brothers were just pretty terrifying. The atmosphere was incredibly high stakes, but under the surface, also incredibly feral and chaotic.

And this was not as chill a thing to do as it maybe sounds, because the truth is, a lot of things about Lehman Brothers were just pretty terrifying. The atmosphere was incredibly high stakes, but under the surface, also incredibly feral and chaotic.

And it's just a briefcase full of gold.

And it's just a briefcase full of gold.

You've just got to remember this one weird trick. Don't go too high because if you get too close to the sun, it'll melt the wax on your wings and you will fall. So Icarus takes off and it's so fun. He's got puffy white clothes. clouds all around him, and the blue sea down below, and he's just so happy. He's so happy, in fact, that he keeps flying higher. And, well, you know how this goes.

You've just got to remember this one weird trick. Don't go too high because if you get too close to the sun, it'll melt the wax on your wings and you will fall. So Icarus takes off and it's so fun. He's got puffy white clothes. clouds all around him, and the blue sea down below, and he's just so happy. He's so happy, in fact, that he keeps flying higher. And, well, you know how this goes.

What finally saved Mero from getting caught, what came to his rescue in a way, was maybe not exactly the thing you'd expect. He was saved by a world historic event.

What finally saved Mero from getting caught, what came to his rescue in a way, was maybe not exactly the thing you'd expect. He was saved by a world historic event.

Before 9-11, Lehman Brothers' global headquarters was at Three World Financial. So you can picture the building, maybe, if you've seen 9-11 footage. There's Tower One and Tower Two, the two big World Trade Center towers. And then nearby, there's the smaller skyscraper with the green roof. That's where Mero worked. Thankfully, he wasn't there when the planes hit.

Before 9-11, Lehman Brothers' global headquarters was at Three World Financial. So you can picture the building, maybe, if you've seen 9-11 footage. There's Tower One and Tower Two, the two big World Trade Center towers. And then nearby, there's the smaller skyscraper with the green roof. That's where Mero worked. Thankfully, he wasn't there when the planes hit.

He'd been off work visiting his family in the Dominican Republic. He got back from his vacation on September 9th, but he hadn't gone back into work yet for one very good reason.

He'd been off work visiting his family in the Dominican Republic. He got back from his vacation on September 9th, but he hadn't gone back into work yet for one very good reason.

So the very good reason Mero didn't go into work on 9-11 is... I was too lazy.

So the very good reason Mero didn't go into work on 9-11 is... I was too lazy.

Mero and his cousin stayed on the phone, though really, what could they say?

Mero and his cousin stayed on the phone, though really, what could they say?

Three World Financial, where Lehman Brothers was headquartered, became uninhabitable after the Twin Towers fell. So the company reassigned Merrow to Jersey City and moved him back to the mailroom with a raise. So he was making the same money he was making in IT, but now no one would ever find out he'd been bluffing around computers for two straight years.

Three World Financial, where Lehman Brothers was headquartered, became uninhabitable after the Twin Towers fell. So the company reassigned Merrow to Jersey City and moved him back to the mailroom with a raise. So he was making the same money he was making in IT, but now no one would ever find out he'd been bluffing around computers for two straight years.

Mero quit Lehman Brothers pretty soon after that, though, because the commute was annoying. And the Lehman Brothers bros, the Lehman bros, bros, kept wanting him to go out with them after work.

Mero quit Lehman Brothers pretty soon after that, though, because the commute was annoying. And the Lehman Brothers bros, the Lehman bros, bros, kept wanting him to go out with them after work.

He gets way too high. And just like his dad warned him, the sun melts the wax on his wings, and his story ends with a little cartoon slide whistle like...

He gets way too high. And just like his dad warned him, the sun melts the wax on his wings, and his story ends with a little cartoon slide whistle like...

And so, after two years, a major terrorist attack, and a transfer to Jersey, Merrow never got caught for lying his way into the IT department. And he'd end up quitting the bank a few years before the financial crisis burned off Lehman Brothers' wings and dropped it into the sea.

And so, after two years, a major terrorist attack, and a transfer to Jersey, Merrow never got caught for lying his way into the IT department. And he'd end up quitting the bank a few years before the financial crisis burned off Lehman Brothers' wings and dropped it into the sea.

But he'd seen enough waste and entitlement and magical thinking and dudes barricading themselves behind multiple rows of monitors and acting like masters of the universe during his time there that when the crash did hit, he wasn't exactly surprised.

But he'd seen enough waste and entitlement and magical thinking and dudes barricading themselves behind multiple rows of monitors and acting like masters of the universe during his time there that when the crash did hit, he wasn't exactly surprised.

Hey, Conspiracy Theories listeners, if you missed my holiday break update, this is the first week of our four-week hiatus, but we're still bringing you something I am sure you'll love. Today, I'm sharing an episode from one of my favorite podcasts, Truthless. On our show, sometimes we discover the official story isn't always the truth.

Hey, Conspiracy Theories listeners, if you missed my holiday break update, this is the first week of our four-week hiatus, but we're still bringing you something I am sure you'll love. Today, I'm sharing an episode from one of my favorite podcasts, Truthless. On our show, sometimes we discover the official story isn't always the truth.

Yeah. And it's it's so wild because it was like so much of it wasn't even like real money. I mean, yes, it was it was like idea money. I used to call it idea money. Yeah. If you're selling an eight ball, like you've got a product.

Yeah. And it's it's so wild because it was like so much of it wasn't even like real money. I mean, yes, it was it was like idea money. I used to call it idea money. Yeah. If you're selling an eight ball, like you've got a product.

To an extent, that has to be like you have to kind of stand behind that. Right. Like that has to be good. You have to be giving people what they're paying. Like this was like some guys buying a Mickey Mantle baseball based on guessing in advance what group of old people weren't going to be able to pay off their mortgages in time. Exactly. That was the bet.

To an extent, that has to be like you have to kind of stand behind that. Right. Like that has to be good. You have to be giving people what they're paying. Like this was like some guys buying a Mickey Mantle baseball based on guessing in advance what group of old people weren't going to be able to pay off their mortgages in time. Exactly. That was the bet.

It's one of those things that like if you just explained it to a normal person, even even pre 2008, if you just explain to a normal person how this worked, they'd be like, no way that is. What is that fake? And that is never going to work. You explain it to like a finance genius and they're like, of course, and I can make it even more complicated and fake.

It's one of those things that like if you just explained it to a normal person, even even pre 2008, if you just explain to a normal person how this worked, they'd be like, no way that is. What is that fake? And that is never going to work. You explain it to like a finance genius and they're like, of course, and I can make it even more complicated and fake.

I think we can open source kicking like 5000 people out of their houses.

I think we can open source kicking like 5000 people out of their houses.

Yeah, in the end, you were like the most honest guy at Lehman Brothers.

Yeah, in the end, you were like the most honest guy at Lehman Brothers.

It used to be that whenever I thought about the Icarus story, I thought there were two ways to look at it. You could either concentrate on the flying or you could concentrate on the falling. And whichever one you focused on probably told you something about yourself. And I think that's probably true when we're talking about, you know, world finance.

It used to be that whenever I thought about the Icarus story, I thought there were two ways to look at it. You could either concentrate on the flying or you could concentrate on the falling. And whichever one you focused on probably told you something about yourself. And I think that's probably true when we're talking about, you know, world finance.

There are a lot of people for whom it doesn't really matter. It just doesn't really factor in that the industry screwed up the world and kind of pile-drived itself into the sea in 2008. Because all those people are focused on is the cars and the yachts and the cocaine on the table and the unrestrained excess that came before the crash. And frankly, also after the crash. Music

There are a lot of people for whom it doesn't really matter. It just doesn't really factor in that the industry screwed up the world and kind of pile-drived itself into the sea in 2008. Because all those people are focused on is the cars and the yachts and the cocaine on the table and the unrestrained excess that came before the crash. And frankly, also after the crash. Music

Anyway, these days, when I think about the Icarus story, what strikes me is that he really didn't have that much to do with it. He didn't invent the labyrinth. He didn't kill the Minotaur. He was just in the mythological mailroom, got swept up in events that were bigger than he was, and tried to have a good time.

Anyway, these days, when I think about the Icarus story, what strikes me is that he really didn't have that much to do with it. He didn't invent the labyrinth. He didn't kill the Minotaur. He was just in the mythological mailroom, got swept up in events that were bigger than he was, and tried to have a good time.

And when I think about it that way, I think, wow, I might like that story better if he escaped. You know, regular people get caught up in history, and we try to make our way as best we can. We get caught in mazes and locked in towers, and we don't know what we're doing, and we make some dumb choices, sure. But I'm writing this in front of one monitor,

And when I think about it that way, I think, wow, I might like that story better if he escaped. You know, regular people get caught up in history, and we try to make our way as best we can. We get caught in mazes and locked in towers, and we don't know what we're doing, and we make some dumb choices, sure. But I'm writing this in front of one monitor,

And I think I speak for all of us who are not masters of the universe when I say that sometimes it's nice to hear a story where at least one of us walks away from the crash unscathed. Truthless was written and reported by me, Brian Phillips. The executive producers are Juliette Littman and Sean Fennessy. Our story editor is Connor Nevins. The show was produced by Mike Wargon and Vikram Patel.

And I think I speak for all of us who are not masters of the universe when I say that sometimes it's nice to hear a story where at least one of us walks away from the crash unscathed. Truthless was written and reported by me, Brian Phillips. The executive producers are Juliette Littman and Sean Fennessy. Our story editor is Connor Nevins. The show was produced by Mike Wargon and Vikram Patel.

Fact-checking by Juliana Ress. Copy editing by Anna Doan. Talent booking by Kat Spillane. Sound design by Kaia McMullen. Mixing and mastering by Scott Somerville. The music in Truthless comes from Blue Dot Sessions and Epidemic Sound. Art direction and illustration by David Shoemaker.

Fact-checking by Juliana Ress. Copy editing by Anna Doan. Talent booking by Kat Spillane. Sound design by Kaia McMullen. Mixing and mastering by Scott Somerville. The music in Truthless comes from Blue Dot Sessions and Epidemic Sound. Art direction and illustration by David Shoemaker.

If you have a great story about a lie and you might like to appear on a future episode of Truthless, shoot us an email at truthless at spotify.com. Thanks for listening.

If you have a great story about a lie and you might like to appear on a future episode of Truthless, shoot us an email at truthless at spotify.com. Thanks for listening.

And on Truthless, bestselling author Brian Phillips interviews fascinating people about the outlandish lies they've told. Be sure to subscribe to Truthless wherever you listen to podcasts. We'll share a link in the show notes. New episodes of Conspiracy Theories will resume December 25th.

And on Truthless, bestselling author Brian Phillips interviews fascinating people about the outlandish lies they've told. Be sure to subscribe to Truthless wherever you listen to podcasts. We'll share a link in the show notes. New episodes of Conspiracy Theories will resume December 25th.

I'm Brian Phillips. This is Truthless, Episode 2, Flying High.

I'm Brian Phillips. This is Truthless, Episode 2, Flying High.

Hi there, this is Steve Fishman from Orbit Media. Our new series, Season 4 in the Burden Feed, is Get the Money and Run.

Hi there, this is Steve Fishman from Orbit Media. Our new series, Season 4 in the Burden Feed, is Get the Money and Run.

The first time Marrow told me about where he grew up, this is what he said. I grew up in a neighborhood so rough, if you look it up on Google Maps, you'll get shot through the screen. This was in the Bronx in the 80s and 90s. Safe to say, Marrow never expected to get a job at one of the world's glitziest investment banks. But that's exactly what happened.

The first time Marrow told me about where he grew up, this is what he said. I grew up in a neighborhood so rough, if you look it up on Google Maps, you'll get shot through the screen. This was in the Bronx in the 80s and 90s. Safe to say, Marrow never expected to get a job at one of the world's glitziest investment banks. But that's exactly what happened.

Can you just like tell our younger audience, like what was Lehman Brothers?

Can you just like tell our younger audience, like what was Lehman Brothers?

Before filing for bankruptcy amid the wreckage of the 2008 financial crash, Lehman Brothers had about 25,000 employees and $640 billion in assets. That's a lot of eggnog. I mean, it's one of the biggest investment banks in New York, like before the financial crash, right? Yes, it was one of the biggest. I looked it up after talking to Mero.

Before filing for bankruptcy amid the wreckage of the 2008 financial crash, Lehman Brothers had about 25,000 employees and $640 billion in assets. That's a lot of eggnog. I mean, it's one of the biggest investment banks in New York, like before the financial crash, right? Yes, it was one of the biggest. I looked it up after talking to Mero.

Lehman Brothers was the fourth biggest, actually, behind Goldman Sachs, Morgan Stanley, and Merrill Lynch. Lehman Brothers was in operation for more than 150 years before it got obliterated by the subprime mortgage crisis.

Lehman Brothers was the fourth biggest, actually, behind Goldman Sachs, Morgan Stanley, and Merrill Lynch. Lehman Brothers was in operation for more than 150 years before it got obliterated by the subprime mortgage crisis.

And somehow, like, everybody else got bailed out, but Lehman Brothers just got, like, the tsunami just, like, took them down. Like, they're just gone. It was a wrap. Of course, it's worth noting that Lehman Brothers was also substantially to blame for causing the subprime mortgage crisis.

And somehow, like, everybody else got bailed out, but Lehman Brothers just got, like, the tsunami just, like, took them down. Like, they're just gone. It was a wrap. Of course, it's worth noting that Lehman Brothers was also substantially to blame for causing the subprime mortgage crisis.

When you first told me about this story, I was like, okay, the 2008 financial crash, did he press the wrong button on a keyboard and bring down the world economy?

When you first told me about this story, I was like, okay, the 2008 financial crash, did he press the wrong button on a keyboard and bring down the world economy?

When Mero applied for the job at Lehman Brothers, though, it was way before 2008, more like 98, 99. His mom had this friend, and the friend had a son called Jose, and Jose ran the mailroom at Lehman Brothers. And thanks to the family connection, Jose said he'd give Mero a job as long as Mero had the right experience.

When Mero applied for the job at Lehman Brothers, though, it was way before 2008, more like 98, 99. His mom had this friend, and the friend had a son called Jose, and Jose ran the mailroom at Lehman Brothers. And thanks to the family connection, Jose said he'd give Mero a job as long as Mero had the right experience.

All right, let me tell you a story. So a long time ago on the island of Crete, there was this guy called Daedalus. Daedalus was an inventor. If he lived today, he'd have one of those social media bios that just says like, I make things, you know, the kind that, like, web designers love to have. I make things.

All right, let me tell you a story. So a long time ago on the island of Crete, there was this guy called Daedalus. Daedalus was an inventor. If he lived today, he'd have one of those social media bios that just says like, I make things, you know, the kind that, like, web designers love to have. I make things.

Merrow was a teenager at this point. He told Jose he'd been working at FedEx for years.

Merrow was a teenager at this point. He told Jose he'd been working at FedEx for years.

You were like a chimney sweep for FedEx.

You were like a chimney sweep for FedEx.

The mailroom at Lehman Brothers ran on this thing called the Pitney Bowes machine. I had to look this up. The Pitney Bowes machine was this mail processing device. Looked like a couple of like big printers stacked together.

The mailroom at Lehman Brothers ran on this thing called the Pitney Bowes machine. I had to look this up. The Pitney Bowes machine was this mail processing device. Looked like a couple of like big printers stacked together.

Every morning, Marrow would ride in from the Bronx to this gleaming corporate office tower right across the street from the World Trade Center, with its lobby polished to a high sheen, its security guys with wands, its screens with stock prices whizzing by like Matrix Code confetti, and its unbelievably lavish cafeteria, and all the rest. And Mero had no idea what anyone there was actually doing.

Every morning, Marrow would ride in from the Bronx to this gleaming corporate office tower right across the street from the World Trade Center, with its lobby polished to a high sheen, its security guys with wands, its screens with stock prices whizzing by like Matrix Code confetti, and its unbelievably lavish cafeteria, and all the rest. And Mero had no idea what anyone there was actually doing.

Jose showed Marrow the ropes. He walked him through the complicated landscape of the mailroom, where a single misstep could torch the economy of Kansas.

Jose showed Marrow the ropes. He walked him through the complicated landscape of the mailroom, where a single misstep could torch the economy of Kansas.

Daedalus actually did make things, and one of the things he made was this unbelievable maze, this labyrinth so complicated no one could find their way through it. He made this labyrinth for the king of Crete who needed a way to imprison his own stepson. This stepson, you see, well, not a bad kid, but he had a complicated medical condition that unfortunately made him about 50% malevolent bovine.

Daedalus actually did make things, and one of the things he made was this unbelievable maze, this labyrinth so complicated no one could find their way through it. He made this labyrinth for the king of Crete who needed a way to imprison his own stepson. This stepson, you see, well, not a bad kid, but he had a complicated medical condition that unfortunately made him about 50% malevolent bovine.

The mail room was somewhere in the bowels of the building. And of course, it was way less fancy. In my imagination, it smelled like envelope glue and cardboard and ink. And there were manila envelopes everywhere and a million packages flying in and out. And it was super confusing. It was like navigating a maze.

The mail room was somewhere in the bowels of the building. And of course, it was way less fancy. In my imagination, it smelled like envelope glue and cardboard and ink. And there were manila envelopes everywhere and a million packages flying in and out. And it was super confusing. It was like navigating a maze.

But Merrill was okay because he was in good with Martin, the friendly cokehead who taught him the ropes. And most importantly, he was in good with his boss, Jose.

But Merrill was okay because he was in good with Martin, the friendly cokehead who taught him the ropes. And most importantly, he was in good with his boss, Jose.

I wasn't surprised to hear that Marrow landed on his feet in the Lehman Brothers mailroom, because Marrow happens to be the Kid Marrow, the comedian, writer, Showtime host, and all-around entertaining dude. He's currently a host of the 7 p.m. in Brooklyn podcast alongside NBA legend Carmelo Anthony. Check it out wherever you get your podcasts.

I wasn't surprised to hear that Marrow landed on his feet in the Lehman Brothers mailroom, because Marrow happens to be the Kid Marrow, the comedian, writer, Showtime host, and all-around entertaining dude. He's currently a host of the 7 p.m. in Brooklyn podcast alongside NBA legend Carmelo Anthony. Check it out wherever you get your podcasts.

Mero's a Dominican-American guy with a smile that lights up the room and a completely infectious laugh. The first time he told me his Lehman Brothers story, I was talking to him while he was at a Mercedes dealership, literally in the middle of buying a new car for his wife, and he kept getting interrupted to fill out forms and select his infotainment trim level.

Mero's a Dominican-American guy with a smile that lights up the room and a completely infectious laugh. The first time he told me his Lehman Brothers story, I was talking to him while he was at a Mercedes dealership, literally in the middle of buying a new car for his wife, and he kept getting interrupted to fill out forms and select his infotainment trim level.

Did you know Mercedes these days come with both AM and FM radio? And he kept me laughing the whole time. And I just remember thinking anyone who can be this charming while filling out auto dealership paperwork would not have trouble finding friends in any mailroom or parcel dispatch situation on the planet Earth.

Did you know Mercedes these days come with both AM and FM radio? And he kept me laughing the whole time. And I just remember thinking anyone who can be this charming while filling out auto dealership paperwork would not have trouble finding friends in any mailroom or parcel dispatch situation on the planet Earth.

So despite having invented all that FedEx experience to get the job, Merrill was doing okay. But then he got some really bad news. Jose had decided to leave Lehman Brothers. And Jose's replacement was going to be this guy, Ralph, who was not a family friend and who was not nearly as warm and forgiving.

So despite having invented all that FedEx experience to get the job, Merrill was doing okay. But then he got some really bad news. Jose had decided to leave Lehman Brothers. And Jose's replacement was going to be this guy, Ralph, who was not a family friend and who was not nearly as warm and forgiving.

Mero wanted to fly a little higher. He wanted to move up. And so when a promising job opening came along, he decided to go for it, even though it wasn't exactly the job he might have chosen.

Mero wanted to fly a little higher. He wanted to move up. And so when a promising job opening came along, he decided to go for it, even though it wasn't exactly the job he might have chosen.

Did he know how to fix a router or a hard drive or computer tech stuff in general? No knowledge of this shit whatsoever. To get the job in IT, Merrow first had to survive the application process. He devised a three-pronged plan to get through it. Prong number one, get Jose to vouch for him.

Did he know how to fix a router or a hard drive or computer tech stuff in general? No knowledge of this shit whatsoever. To get the job in IT, Merrow first had to survive the application process. He devised a three-pronged plan to get through it. Prong number one, get Jose to vouch for him.

He explained to Jose that the IT job was a way to further his career goals of making a lot more money while not, eh, overtaxing himself. And I was just like, yo, listen, motherfucker.

He explained to Jose that the IT job was a way to further his career goals of making a lot more money while not, eh, overtaxing himself. And I was just like, yo, listen, motherfucker.

Prong number two, get his new boss, Ralph, to vouch for him. This one's trickier. He'd won over Jose by invoking his laziness. To win Ralph over, he needed a different strategy.

Prong number two, get his new boss, Ralph, to vouch for him. This one's trickier. He'd won over Jose by invoking his laziness. To win Ralph over, he needed a different strategy.

Ralph might not have been interested in aiding and abetting laziness, but he was more than happy to send an unqualified technician into the IT department of one of the driving engines of the global economy if it meant helping Mero get laid.

That's right, the Minotaur. the original cowboy. So long story short, a hero called Theseus comes along, solves the maze, kills the Minotaur. The king's upset and he gets suspicious. Did Daedalus tell Theseus how to get through the labyrinth? Daedalus didn't, but the king doesn't believe him. So he takes Daedalus and Daedalus's son, who is 0% cow, and locks them both in a tower.

And as Mero tells it, Ralph very much understood the assignment.

Prong number three for surviving the application process, brazenly lie about knowing computers. Mero lied. Mero got the job.

Up next, Mero does his first job as an IT specialist who knows nothing about IT. And we have a serious talk about the importance of honesty in capitalism. After several commercials. The kid Marrow was moving up in the world.

Lehman Brothers was one of the highest-flying corporations in finance, and Marrow had lied his way out of the mailroom and gotten a new job in IT, a subject he knew practically nothing about.

Marrow made his way up to the 38th floor. His heart was pounding, or at least mine would have been. Everything at Lehman Brothers went through computers, and a significant part of the world economy went through Lehman Brothers. This was more than a simple hard drive swap. For all Marrow knew, if he screwed this up, there'd be a coup in Japan the next morning.

Like, is this the right number of pins on this thing? Yeah.

You're like knocking the top of it. Like she's going to hold like Scotty on Star Trek.

Marrow had gone up for the IT job mostly because it wouldn't be all that much work compared to the mailroom under its new leadership. Now he realized that he had to avoid even the small amount of work that was expected of him at all costs.

Daedalus is like, well, this sucks. I don't want to live in a tower. Fortunately, Daedalus is a genius, so he figures out a way to escape. What he does is he invents wings, just casually builds some wings. He and his kid, a boy called Icarus, are going to fly right out of the tower. So Daedalus straps the wings on Icarus and he's like, okay, flying is easy.

He told his coworkers, hey, you know what? You go up and take care of this operating system crash. Which, he'd add, I could totally do, by the way. But because I'm so nice, I'll stay here and fill out all the paperwork so you don't have to do it.

If his coworkers complained, he'd just point out that at the time, he was smoking a lot of weed at work, and he probably shouldn't be wandering through the hallways on his own.

Marrow, like Icarus himself, had gotten way too high.

I bet all the other tech guys loved you because, like, nobody wants to do the paperwork. Nobody, bro.

Yeah, fuck that. You're like, yeah, we changed out the warp crystals on the dilithium drive. Yeah. Yeah, yo. Got some new photon torpedoes in the modem. Man, wait.

They could still be there. They could, you know, under a different name. Well, maybe not at Lehman Brothers, but somewhere.

This is also how I keep my job as a podcaster. So how long would you think a person could keep a tech support job at a massive global investment bank while being stoned most of the time and not knowing how to do any tech support? If I tried that at my job, I think I'd get caught in like four days max.

This is two years. For half of an entire presidential term, for someone's whole junior and senior years of college, Marrow kept walking this tightrope. The 90s rolled over into the 2000s. The stack of incorrectly filled out paperwork kept getting taller. The pressure kept mounting. Mero kept lying at work.

And this was not as chill a thing to do as it maybe sounds, because the truth is, a lot of things about Lehman Brothers were just pretty terrifying. The atmosphere was incredibly high stakes, but under the surface, also incredibly feral and chaotic.

And it's just a briefcase full of gold.

You've just got to remember this one weird trick. Don't go too high because if you get too close to the sun, it'll melt the wax on your wings and you will fall. So Icarus takes off and it's so fun. He's got puffy white clothes. clouds all around him, and the blue sea down below, and he's just so happy. He's so happy, in fact, that he keeps flying higher. And, well, you know how this goes.

What finally saved Mero from getting caught, what came to his rescue in a way, was maybe not exactly the thing you'd expect. He was saved by a world historic event.

Before 9-11, Lehman Brothers' global headquarters was at Three World Financial. So you can picture the building, maybe, if you've seen 9-11 footage. There's Tower One and Tower Two, the two big World Trade Center towers. And then nearby, there's the smaller skyscraper with the green roof. That's where Mero worked. Thankfully, he wasn't there when the planes hit.

He'd been off work visiting his family in the Dominican Republic. He got back from his vacation on September 9th, but he hadn't gone back into work yet for one very good reason.

So the very good reason Mero didn't go into work on 9-11 is... I was too lazy.

Mero and his cousin stayed on the phone, though really, what could they say?

Three World Financial, where Lehman Brothers was headquartered, became uninhabitable after the Twin Towers fell. So the company reassigned Merrow to Jersey City and moved him back to the mailroom with a raise. So he was making the same money he was making in IT, but now no one would ever find out he'd been bluffing around computers for two straight years.

Mero quit Lehman Brothers pretty soon after that, though, because the commute was annoying. And the Lehman Brothers bros, the Lehman bros, bros, kept wanting him to go out with them after work.

He gets way too high. And just like his dad warned him, the sun melts the wax on his wings, and his story ends with a little cartoon slide whistle like...

And so, after two years, a major terrorist attack, and a transfer to Jersey, Merrow never got caught for lying his way into the IT department. And he'd end up quitting the bank a few years before the financial crisis burned off Lehman Brothers' wings and dropped it into the sea.

But he'd seen enough waste and entitlement and magical thinking and dudes barricading themselves behind multiple rows of monitors and acting like masters of the universe during his time there that when the crash did hit, he wasn't exactly surprised.

Hey, Conspiracy Theories listeners, if you missed my holiday break update, this is the first week of our four-week hiatus, but we're still bringing you something I am sure you'll love. Today, I'm sharing an episode from one of my favorite podcasts, Truthless. On our show, sometimes we discover the official story isn't always the truth.

Yeah. And it's it's so wild because it was like so much of it wasn't even like real money. I mean, yes, it was it was like idea money. I used to call it idea money. Yeah. If you're selling an eight ball, like you've got a product.

To an extent, that has to be like you have to kind of stand behind that. Right. Like that has to be good. You have to be giving people what they're paying. Like this was like some guys buying a Mickey Mantle baseball based on guessing in advance what group of old people weren't going to be able to pay off their mortgages in time. Exactly. That was the bet.

It's one of those things that like if you just explained it to a normal person, even even pre 2008, if you just explain to a normal person how this worked, they'd be like, no way that is. What is that fake? And that is never going to work. You explain it to like a finance genius and they're like, of course, and I can make it even more complicated and fake.

I think we can open source kicking like 5000 people out of their houses.

Yeah, in the end, you were like the most honest guy at Lehman Brothers.

It used to be that whenever I thought about the Icarus story, I thought there were two ways to look at it. You could either concentrate on the flying or you could concentrate on the falling. And whichever one you focused on probably told you something about yourself. And I think that's probably true when we're talking about, you know, world finance.

There are a lot of people for whom it doesn't really matter. It just doesn't really factor in that the industry screwed up the world and kind of pile-drived itself into the sea in 2008. Because all those people are focused on is the cars and the yachts and the cocaine on the table and the unrestrained excess that came before the crash. And frankly, also after the crash. Music

Anyway, these days, when I think about the Icarus story, what strikes me is that he really didn't have that much to do with it. He didn't invent the labyrinth. He didn't kill the Minotaur. He was just in the mythological mailroom, got swept up in events that were bigger than he was, and tried to have a good time.

And when I think about it that way, I think, wow, I might like that story better if he escaped. You know, regular people get caught up in history, and we try to make our way as best we can. We get caught in mazes and locked in towers, and we don't know what we're doing, and we make some dumb choices, sure. But I'm writing this in front of one monitor,

And I think I speak for all of us who are not masters of the universe when I say that sometimes it's nice to hear a story where at least one of us walks away from the crash unscathed. Truthless was written and reported by me, Brian Phillips. The executive producers are Juliette Littman and Sean Fennessy. Our story editor is Connor Nevins. The show was produced by Mike Wargon and Vikram Patel.

Fact-checking by Juliana Ress. Copy editing by Anna Doan. Talent booking by Kat Spillane. Sound design by Kaia McMullen. Mixing and mastering by Scott Somerville. The music in Truthless comes from Blue Dot Sessions and Epidemic Sound. Art direction and illustration by David Shoemaker.

If you have a great story about a lie and you might like to appear on a future episode of Truthless, shoot us an email at truthless at spotify.com. Thanks for listening.

And on Truthless, bestselling author Brian Phillips interviews fascinating people about the outlandish lies they've told. Be sure to subscribe to Truthless wherever you listen to podcasts. We'll share a link in the show notes. New episodes of Conspiracy Theories will resume December 25th.

I'm Brian Phillips. This is Truthless, Episode 2, Flying High.

Hi there, this is Steve Fishman from Orbit Media. Our new series, Season 4 in the Burden Feed, is Get the Money and Run.

The first time Marrow told me about where he grew up, this is what he said. I grew up in a neighborhood so rough, if you look it up on Google Maps, you'll get shot through the screen. This was in the Bronx in the 80s and 90s. Safe to say, Marrow never expected to get a job at one of the world's glitziest investment banks. But that's exactly what happened.

Can you just like tell our younger audience, like what was Lehman Brothers?

Before filing for bankruptcy amid the wreckage of the 2008 financial crash, Lehman Brothers had about 25,000 employees and $640 billion in assets. That's a lot of eggnog. I mean, it's one of the biggest investment banks in New York, like before the financial crash, right? Yes, it was one of the biggest. I looked it up after talking to Mero.

Lehman Brothers was the fourth biggest, actually, behind Goldman Sachs, Morgan Stanley, and Merrill Lynch. Lehman Brothers was in operation for more than 150 years before it got obliterated by the subprime mortgage crisis.

And somehow, like, everybody else got bailed out, but Lehman Brothers just got, like, the tsunami just, like, took them down. Like, they're just gone. It was a wrap. Of course, it's worth noting that Lehman Brothers was also substantially to blame for causing the subprime mortgage crisis.

When you first told me about this story, I was like, okay, the 2008 financial crash, did he press the wrong button on a keyboard and bring down the world economy?

When Mero applied for the job at Lehman Brothers, though, it was way before 2008, more like 98, 99. His mom had this friend, and the friend had a son called Jose, and Jose ran the mailroom at Lehman Brothers. And thanks to the family connection, Jose said he'd give Mero a job as long as Mero had the right experience.

All right, let me tell you a story. So a long time ago on the island of Crete, there was this guy called Daedalus. Daedalus was an inventor. If he lived today, he'd have one of those social media bios that just says like, I make things, you know, the kind that, like, web designers love to have. I make things.

Merrow was a teenager at this point. He told Jose he'd been working at FedEx for years.

You were like a chimney sweep for FedEx.

The mailroom at Lehman Brothers ran on this thing called the Pitney Bowes machine. I had to look this up. The Pitney Bowes machine was this mail processing device. Looked like a couple of like big printers stacked together.

Every morning, Marrow would ride in from the Bronx to this gleaming corporate office tower right across the street from the World Trade Center, with its lobby polished to a high sheen, its security guys with wands, its screens with stock prices whizzing by like Matrix Code confetti, and its unbelievably lavish cafeteria, and all the rest. And Mero had no idea what anyone there was actually doing.

Jose showed Marrow the ropes. He walked him through the complicated landscape of the mailroom, where a single misstep could torch the economy of Kansas.

Daedalus actually did make things, and one of the things he made was this unbelievable maze, this labyrinth so complicated no one could find their way through it. He made this labyrinth for the king of Crete who needed a way to imprison his own stepson. This stepson, you see, well, not a bad kid, but he had a complicated medical condition that unfortunately made him about 50% malevolent bovine.

The mail room was somewhere in the bowels of the building. And of course, it was way less fancy. In my imagination, it smelled like envelope glue and cardboard and ink. And there were manila envelopes everywhere and a million packages flying in and out. And it was super confusing. It was like navigating a maze.

But Merrill was okay because he was in good with Martin, the friendly cokehead who taught him the ropes. And most importantly, he was in good with his boss, Jose.

I wasn't surprised to hear that Marrow landed on his feet in the Lehman Brothers mailroom, because Marrow happens to be the Kid Marrow, the comedian, writer, Showtime host, and all-around entertaining dude. He's currently a host of the 7 p.m. in Brooklyn podcast alongside NBA legend Carmelo Anthony. Check it out wherever you get your podcasts.

Mero's a Dominican-American guy with a smile that lights up the room and a completely infectious laugh. The first time he told me his Lehman Brothers story, I was talking to him while he was at a Mercedes dealership, literally in the middle of buying a new car for his wife, and he kept getting interrupted to fill out forms and select his infotainment trim level.

Did you know Mercedes these days come with both AM and FM radio? And he kept me laughing the whole time. And I just remember thinking anyone who can be this charming while filling out auto dealership paperwork would not have trouble finding friends in any mailroom or parcel dispatch situation on the planet Earth.

So despite having invented all that FedEx experience to get the job, Merrill was doing okay. But then he got some really bad news. Jose had decided to leave Lehman Brothers. And Jose's replacement was going to be this guy, Ralph, who was not a family friend and who was not nearly as warm and forgiving.

Mero wanted to fly a little higher. He wanted to move up. And so when a promising job opening came along, he decided to go for it, even though it wasn't exactly the job he might have chosen.

Did he know how to fix a router or a hard drive or computer tech stuff in general? No knowledge of this shit whatsoever. To get the job in IT, Merrow first had to survive the application process. He devised a three-pronged plan to get through it. Prong number one, get Jose to vouch for him.

He explained to Jose that the IT job was a way to further his career goals of making a lot more money while not, eh, overtaxing himself. And I was just like, yo, listen, motherfucker.

Prong number two, get his new boss, Ralph, to vouch for him. This one's trickier. He'd won over Jose by invoking his laziness. To win Ralph over, he needed a different strategy.

Okay, this is a true story. I have a friend who once faked his own death so he could have more time to watch his favorite TV show. In my new podcast, Truthless, I'm talking to people about the lies they tell, from forging new identities to taking their love of Game of Thrones a little too far. From Spotify and the Ringer Podcast Network, I'm Brian Phillips.

Okay, this is a true story. I have a friend who once faked his own death so he could have more time to watch his favorite TV show. In my new podcast, Truthless, I'm talking to people about the lies they tell, from forging new identities to taking their love of Game of Thrones a little too far. From Spotify and the Ringer Podcast Network, I'm Brian Phillips.

Listen to Truthless on Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.

Listen to Truthless on Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.

Okay, this is a true story. I have a friend who once faked his own death so he could have more time to watch his favorite TV show. In my new podcast, Truthless, I'm talking to people about the lies they tell, from forging new identities to taking their love of Game of Thrones a little too far. From Spotify and the Ringer Podcast Network, I'm Brian Phillips.

Listen to Truthless on Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.