Booth Crew
Appearances
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
This episode of your mom's house podcast was brought to you by Rogue. Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
We're almost into the new year and I'll be bringing my come together tour to a bunch of more cities in 2025. January 18th, I'll be in Philadelphia. Haven't been there in a while. January 24th, San Francisco. The 25th of January, I'm in Reno. January 30th, I'm in Athens, Georgia. And January 31st, Savannah. February 1st, I'll be in North Charleston. I can't wait to hit all these cities.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
What's going on? It's Charles. There he is. Oh, Charles. Oh, say around 8 o'clock. Oh, it's the greatest.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
So I'm going to start going, what's up, everybody?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I wish you'd never choked. I was really worried about you. I was super concerned.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I have one for you too. Ready? Oh, shut up. It's a video.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
It's a puke video. Why are you always trying to fight somebody, bro?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I don't care. Like, I am from the streets and gang gang, bitch. Yeah. Because I am from the same streets. You are not from the streets. Yes, I am. Because I ain't about to lie to you all. Shut the fuck up.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Fighting.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Swinging a bat. Look what you fucking did. And they go, yeah, sorry.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
And the cool thing is, it is not in fashion.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yes, I know.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I think I'll just let the rest of the face come together. So much to mention. I don't even know where to start. I guess we should start by pointing out that we have finally, after a lot of back and forth, a lot of really emotional chats, we have welcomed back our, um, original, uh, booth crew.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Coffee time. Strong black coffee. Best drink of the day. And today is a special coffee time, Tom. It's coffee time just for you. And I've got it on good authority. I have. Christina tells me you like a little bit of milk in your coffee. Well, I think I could do that for you, Tom. I'm sure I've got some milk somewhere for your coffee. A little splash. Oh, make it, yeah, make it just right for you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
A hot, strong, black coffee with a splash of milk. You'll enjoy it, I'm sure. I'm turning red. I love it. Hey, Tom, enjoy your coffee. And Christina sends a love. And so do I. Have a great day.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Thank you. I love how you're blushing. Well, for people that don't know, every morning Christina sends me a video of this lady.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Every morning I open my phone and it's this lady going coffee time, strong black coffee.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Best drink of the day.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
And then it's just that. And it's, there's a thousand variations of it. And every day I'm like, right. Good morning. It's every day.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah, that's very, very nice of you, Catherine. And this is a perfect segue. Perfect segue. We actually have to tell everybody.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
This is a YMH exclusive. YMH exclusive. YMH exclusive.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
This is as fucking big as it gets.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah. It doesn't get any bigger than this.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
In just a few days, there's going to be a new resident of Austin, Texas.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I don't think the audience knows.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Well, I guess it's official. Charo is moving to Austin. Yeah, so... Now, we have been talking to her, of course, about coming in here more and getting involved in podcasts and whatnot. But, you know, she's 80 years old. She is a retiree. And she's always telling me, she's like, you know, I don't have your income. I need help. Like, she's always just like, can you pay for my gas today?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Like, it's just insane. So I'm like, look, why don't you fucking do something? Like do something that generate a little extra revenue in your life. And she's like, what? And so over Thanksgiving, we introduced the idea of her getting an OnlyFans going. It was the best conversation we've ever had.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I laughed so hard.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
$5.99, $6.99?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
What's the monthly? It's whatever you want it to be. Okay. So I was like, yeah. I said something like $5. And people, I go, will subscribe to you. And then you put out things like this where you say, like, good morning. Yeah. And I say, you have a great day. Yeah. I said, people will watch you just like if you just want to set up a camera and go about your your morning routine in the kitchen.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
So they're here today, but, uh, they said that they wanted to say something before we moved on.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah. And I go. And then maybe every once in a while you let a little fart go, you know.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Oopsie.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
And she goes, I don't want to do it. I go, no, no, you don't have to make like very. I go just like, yeah, just like, oh, there's one there. Yeah. And you don't even have to look at the camera. You just let it go and you go about your morning. And she's like, what?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
And then I was like, you know, and the people will like message you and you can message people like just, you know, you don't have to be like, it doesn't have to be like super.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
No. Which, by the way, was how that platform started. It was just supposed to be. Oh, really? For people that just wanted to engage with fans. And it morphed into this thing. And then they did this, I guess, second play where they've, as a platform, they've been like, no, this is, you know, DJ Khaled has one of these of like, hey, I'm grilling in my, it's supposed to be access to people, right?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah. You know, we all just wanted to extend our apologies. Um, I wanted to say I, uh, I extend my sincerest apologies for my inappropriate reaction during your moment of peril. Laughing while you were choking was not my finest hour, and I promise it wasn't because I was enjoying your distress. I'd like to formally ask for my job back.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
And they just had allowed for the sexually graphic stuff to happen. Point being, I've been encouraging her to do this.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
And what I would love to ask you, the viewers and the listeners of this show, please, please, please record a short 5-10 second video. Tag at YMH Studios on Instagram or on Twitter. Or you can email in yourmomspodcast at gmail.com. And just say like, because we want to put together a montage for her of like showing her the potential of doing this. Just a video being like, hey, I'm so-and-so.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I'm Jim. I'm James. I'm Melissa. And Charles, I heard you're considering OnlyFans. I would love to sign up for a monthly OnlyFans account with you. And say how much you would pay. Yeah, and then be like, I would pay $5, $10 a month for that. And I'd love to see a good morning from Charlotte. And let us build this mega montage where it becomes undeniable.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Where she goes, she's like, shit, is that like 100 people saying that they want to sign up for it? And then we'll get her to... To say her good mornings and to greet you and have a little... And then we'll gradually just try to ease in some fart content in there. But I need your help. I need your help. So please, this is what YMH is all about. Please, let's work together on making this happen.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Just a short... It just has to be a few seconds. Say your name and say, Charo, I'd love to sign up for your OnlyFans and spend... $10, $5 a month, and tag at YMH Studios on Instagram or send it in, Twitter, or even email it, yourmomspodcast at gmail.com. Thank you so much.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
She does.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
black coffee and it is the best drink of the day and it's so simple yeah and it's so inviting and you know there's a lot of people out there would love to have a good morning speaking of christmas why i have been pretty relentless i would say without overdoing it speaking of my love of rogues you know and i made a call i told them i was like i love these fucking things
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I introduce them to people all the time, wherever I go. I'm like, if you had a rope, I'd just do it. And it's a genuine thing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I get people into rogues everywhere I go. And so I said on this podcast, I love it. I love it. They sent me a present.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Thanks, Rogue. I got the present. It says flavors that pack a punch. Wow. Let's see. It's a cool little box. Oh, shit. Hey there. Thank you. Take a punch of spearmint. I love spearmint.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Oh, shit. Wow. And it has its flavors that pack a punch.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I promise to show the utmost respect for your health and well-being moving forward.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I like when companies do cool shit for their promotion.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
That's what your mom's house is all about.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
It's showing stuff you don't want to see and hearing things you don't want to hear.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Welcome to your mom's house. That's so true. That's our slogan.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Okay, so they sent me Spearmint, which I've had.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Mango. I've never had mango. Okay, mango. I'm going to try that. Peppermint, I've definitely had. I have peppermint in my pocket. What else do I have? Citrus. This looks like a new bold citrus. What else? Wintergreen. I've had those. They're delicious. I love wintergreen flavors. And apple.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Stupid.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Wow. This is super exciting. Thank you, Rogue. These are flavors that indeed pack a punch. Wow. So let me get this off.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Okay, what should I start? I've never tried citrus. Try citrus. Would you like to try one?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I will also learn the Heimlich maneuver and have it on standby at all times and refrain from laughing at any other life-threatening situations.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yo, you mind if I try one? Hell yeah. Oh, yeah. Which one do you want to try? Which one do you want? What you doing, the mango? Well, I just tried citrus. Oh, citrus. Do you want to try citrus? I'll try citrus. All right, come try it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
This is awesome. Rogies all day.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Rogues are the way to go.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Tom, is it okay if any grabs me one? Yeah, of course.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
And there's other flavors if you want to try.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
That's very nice of them. Thank, by the way, thank you. I, um, tried not to overdo my desire for more rogues, but this is very, very appreciated. I really do enjoy it. Okay.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah. You should identify. I identify with her too.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Coffee time.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Well, this is, I don't even know where to go. There's so many fucking crazy updates.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I think because.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
There's so much happening. I want to, I'm going to put these here so I can grab rogues whenever I want. Yeah, you should. This is part of our set deck now. I love that. Okay. So.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Very well.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I just wanted to hear the rest before I commented.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
This is, I think, last week we all fucking lost our goddamn minds when for the first time in, I don't know, whatever, but in years we actually heard something from Tony Johns, right? And we got this crazy update from him. And what we learned, Gene, is that this guy has... completely changed his life.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Thank you for your understanding, if you have any left for me, and for considering my request to return. If nothing else, I hope this apology serves as proof that I do, in fact, take you and your life very seriously.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Once you're cool, it's pretty much for life.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah. And?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I think he's earned it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Take him off. Take him off. Let's see.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I think you should.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
He's done. Yeah, he's off. He's off. And I also have a Tony John update here. Okay. Here it is. This is the update that we got. This came in later in the day after we recorded. So here you go.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Just want to let everybody know, you know, I've got a lot of anxiety tonight. My balls are smoking. Fuck, man. Lost my job, dude. There's just a lot going on, man. Fuck. You know what? It's just wild, man. Because you know what? When I get anxiety, I get very, very horny. And I get very, very anxious. And I get a lot of anxiety. And I'm just being straight up. My balls, they are smoking tonight.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
That's a good apology. Thank you, Josh.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Fuck, man.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
He lost his job the day that we talked to him. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Don't do it, it's bad.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
All right. And then he talked to Josh Potter on Behind the Scenes. Oh, he did? Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
You mentioned you're working at Lowe's now, and I saw some of your Instagram. That's cool. I mean, hey, dude, what are you doing out at Lowe's?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Man, dude, they canned me Friday. No! Why did they do that? What happened?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Breaking news here on Behind the Jeans. What happened?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Tell us. Man, well, they claimed it was for attendance, but, like, it's iffy, man. I don't think, you know, I just, I don't know, man. It's just real iffy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Thank you, Chad.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Heather wants to know, should we start beef with Lowe's? Do we got to get on the anti-Lowe's train?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Oh, no. No, man. No, no.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
We'll make Lowe's regret this. We can do that. Oh, no.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
We stand with Tony Johns.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah, what a bummer though, man. I think it's... Yeah, I know what to do.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I think it's probably best. No, I can't see the thing. you can't even get a girl to fucking hang something up right well now that he's back i think it deserves another you know well i hope i hope tony um finds a another gig i think it's important you know i think it's really important yeah he needs a job asap he's in upstate new york is that right
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
They didn't mention anything about that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I've never heard that before. When I get anxiety, I get very, very horny.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Well, it's familiar. It's a trauma you know.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I know.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah, well, he said it's very iffy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
He's like, they said it's a tardiness or attendance, but it's real iffy right now. Like, I'm not really sure what that means. It sounds like a fucking, you know, something that, you know, somebody cool would say. What happened to your job? I asked some iffy shit. I'm not quite sure. Fuck. Okay. Yeah, well, I hope it gets... Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
So, by the way, we haven't really discussed it, but, you know, it's really crazy the way the UnitedHealthcare shooter story has evolved and how a lot of the Internet isn't just, you know, ideologically developed.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
kind of siding with this guy but like the man that he murdered you know represented the health care industry which is obviously it's a horrific reality in this country that health care is just it's it's it's so set up seemingly to not take care of people and oh yeah you know people get denied coverage and they're spending so much money it's a shit show right mm-hmm
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
That stuff aside, saying let's just take out his reason on that side, the internet has flipped for this guy as being a hottie.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Have you done a dive on this?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Well, I just wanted your opinion on his level of attractiveness.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I mean, it's the story. It's the big story.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I mean, look at those abs in that photo.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
And also a hot killer who people... It's interesting because it's kind of doubled up. If he was objectively unattractive, he would still have people going, you know, cheering for him because they hate the healthcare industry and they're like, this had to happen. But the fact that it happened... And he's viewed as an attractive person.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
It's just everything kind of morphs and changes where they go, yeah, I side with you. Also, I like you even more because they find him attractive. The gays lost their mind for him.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Oh, yeah. Gay Twitter was on fire when they caught this guy. Yeah. A lot of women, a lot of young women are just being like, yeah, this guy's, he's it, you know, which has always been a thing. Killers always get the chicks.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
He doesn't. I heard rumors, and I don't know if this is true, that he was openly bi.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
So maybe that got people even more fired up.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Does it say anything? Where, okay. Oh, this is great about the internet. You just right away. One of the, McRib. Can you make that bigger? One of the related terms that comes up in Google when searching the name of the UHC shooter is, is Luigi Mangione bisexual? It might seem like a pretty strange thing to focus on, but obviously things went viral.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Oh, my God. It was a rough year for me.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
A 26-year-old was arrested last week, spent a wild seven days that he was killed in a premeditated, preplanned, targeted attack outside an NYC hotel. He was on his way to speak, blah, blah, blah. Where does it get to that part? Ex-users in particular were positively tripping over each other to see who could post the horniest response to the photos.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
It was, at its core, an outlet for people's intense frustration about the U.S. health care crisis, as well as a distraction. Okay.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
This is basically why he got caught. Hmm. This is like, well, I'm sure there was other physical evidence that could have led to him being caught. He did have prints there, you know, the shell casings, footage elsewhere. But this was the first time he lowered his mask. It was reported to flirt with, like to smile at one of the, like the sales lady at Starbucks or something.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
He was like, hey, or like at the hostel or something. So that's what gave, you know, the image of his face. Um, so still, we're still not seeing why, where this came from the buy stuff. Um, I don't know. This is still not it. A small but vocal minority of LGBTQ plus people started at that point to claim him as one of their own.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Despite any evidence other than his love of artists beloved by the queer community. At that point, several users began to call Mangione gay and shared unconfirmed photos of his, quote, boyfriends.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
However, the Luigi Mangione is bisexual rumor really took flight at 745 UK time when the ex-account, which covers University of Pennsylvania campus culture, treated breaking by confirmed, along with unverified screenshot of what it looked like a text message that read, a friend of mine made out with him when he was a student. For those curious, he is bi. Thank God that's confirmed. I know. So fun.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
That's just somebody's tweet, right? Yeah. And then it led to an immediate spike in Google searches. Anyway, I don't know if it goes on from there. There is no evidence that he is bisexual.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Well, I don't... I mean, I don't have really much to read on other than like the case and like a mugshot. I don't really know... I know that he was valedictorian of his extremely elite prep school. I saw the clip.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
No, I'm saying I saw him speak briefly in that. Nothing in that would prompt that. The fact that he has great abs is pretty gay.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
No, 26, it's easier to have a great physique. But I mean, nothing about that, obviously. Now, then there was a photo of him holding his dick. But when that came out, I was on set when that was like being passed around. And one of our directors was like, that's a Photoshop. Like he was like, here's the blur line or whatever. I don't know if that's true or not.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I was trying to tell everybody, thank you for digging out those details.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I would say I saw a pose of him with like hand over like this. I was like, that's a gay pose. That's a gay pose. If you see that pose, you'd be like, I don't know that straight. Like, can you pull up his nude photo and tell me if you think a straight guy does this pose? Because I think it's the only thing where I go, that's kind of gay. This one?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
This one.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah, that pose. Okay. Does a straight guy ever? Would you guys ever pose like that? No. I feel like that's the gayest evidence I've ever seen.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I also don't like how bro kept the underwear on. That's kind of crazy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
If you're going to do all that, just.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Oh, there's the big.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
That's what was considered the. I don't know if that's him.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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That feels gay.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I'd like our gays and straights to weigh in.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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That arm behind the shoulder. It feels to me very gay.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
If you ask the guy for a photo and he sent you that
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
The only thing I'm wondering, though, is if the fact that he's holding... Because it's always weird when you're holding a phone to make a pose, so maybe that's making it weird. Right. No, that's a good point.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
And I've got violated.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Here's the thing. If you didn't know who Burt Reynolds was... That doesn't scream necessarily masculine. That's a famous pose.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I know, but I'm saying that it's a hardcore masculine guy. And you know that that's Burt Reynolds.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Thank you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
But that pose itself is not.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah, there's the wider one if you scroll up.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
But see, you know that's Bert who was slanging dick into ladies forever.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
But if you were just like, this is some guy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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I don't think so.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Is there anyone else in there? Oh, yeah. I'm in here. Yeah, so I wrote... Wrote a little something... So, I mean, I wrote that. I mean, I'm not going to lie. I didn't really do shit, to be honest. But at the same time, like, I ain't trying to put my man down. You know what I'm saying? So, like, if an apology is going to be what you need to feel right, like, we could go there. Okay.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Well, here's the thing. I've always said this. We tackle the real issues on this show. And I was dying to get your take on this. Well, hold on.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
We did it. We did the research. Yeah, he did. Wait, there's another woman in the booth now.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Is that a gay pose?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
It feels like, right?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Is your take that he is gay or are you undecided?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah, I'd say he's pretty gay. I'd say so.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
You know, we also have never had a... Hold on.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Well, that's got him got arrested. That's his arrest photo.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
No, but that's not style is my point. Looks good, but he still looks good.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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That's years of maintenance and proper product, conditioners, all that shit.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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Yeah. And what does that tell you? Gay.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
No, I just, it was just, you know, we're really. Oh, also the fact that this is, here's another thing that's pretty gay. Yeah. Ready? Yeah. He's very smart.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
They are the smartest. But I mean, when you have somebody who's really fit, really well read, I mean, this valedictorian, he got, he went to an Ivy league. So we went to a university, Pennsylvania. He got a, I think a degree in mechanical engineering.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I mean, these are some of the gayest things I've ever listed.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Loves Britney Spears and Sabrina fucking whatever, Carpenter. Yeah. These are, I mean, these are just gay building blocks.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
He 3D printed his gun. I mean, that's a thought.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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Pretty much.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
don't know pew pew pew like that pew pew pew pew yeah these are just so many so now he's now the little gay details but then yeah you throw in a curveball like why are you shooting i don't know how are you shooting yeah it's all very fascinating gosh um anyway
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
We will revisit this topic, obviously, as we learn more.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I think more people are sympathetic to this guy than... A lot of people would be sympathetic because of the healthcare world, but it brings even more people over when they find the person attractive.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
But, like, at the same time, like, I straight up, you know, I didn't really do shit like that. Like, I already told you what it was. So, like, you know, we could talk. But, yeah, that's, I stopped writing. Okay.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
You finally watched American Nightmare.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Tell me your true opinion.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
You think an FBI guy?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I don't know about that. I mean, it's an interesting, uh, what I really thought was the real lesson here is there are tells in behavior that we all register as normal, uh, Normal is a term that people think of as relative. But the reality is there are objective normals. So like, in other words, you know, something horrible happens to a family member.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Thank you. I appreciate your choice of words, and I feel what you're saying. It's a very unique way of doing it, and it's very any.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
There's a there's a normal way that people react.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
When they pulled... When you watch this doc, and we are spoiling it if you want to skip ahead, but the first episode focuses on the boyfriend at the time. The way he is in the interrogation room is so peculiar. It's so outside of the range of normal behavior for an interrogation that you're like, this is not... Something's up with this dude, right? And it ends, and then episode two...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
focuses on the woman that was kidnapped and her behavior in the interrogation is also outside of the norm, of normal behavior, which again, you go, oh, now we're gonna get to how this is like what really happened. And to learn that they were actually telling the truth and that their behavior was in fact genuine was to me the biggest surprise of the entire story. The way that they behaved
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
in their interrogations after going through something traumatic was so outside of the realm and the spectrum of normal behavior that I couldn't believe. I was like, I would have bet... I mean, I know, obviously, when you make a documentary, you can produce moments, but you're not producing the moment of them answering the questions in the interrogation room.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
He's like, yeah, came in, put goggles on us, and then was like, drink this, and then they... You're like, this is... There's no, like...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Well, it was, it was any, it was, I know where he's coming from. I said the word apology. You didn't hear it? No, I heard it. You said, yeah, you said, if you need one, I will be there.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Well, he has that in his mind because that is how police investigators are trained. They're trained to go into a crime like that. And if there's somebody there who is present, that is close to the person that is missing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
They have to do that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
they really let those people down especially when they pivot to like fucking burn that bitch to the ground i know so why would but i'm saying why would that police department not look for they ended up having to pay them quite a sum of money for being shitty but it's a fascinating story and we just ruin it for everybody but just fast forward all right let's take a quick break yeah we'll be right back and once again merry christmas
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Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Get your tickets now at tomscrow.com slash tour, and I will see you there. Welcome. Welcome to your moment. Buongiorno. Welcome to your mom's house. This is very exciting. This is actually going to count as our Christmas episode because we don't have an episode Christmas day. We're taking the day off. Everybody's having the day off. So this is our Merry Christmas episode.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Ready in five, four, three, in five, four, three, two, one.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
And we are back, and joining us is a comedian whose latest special, The Last Cowboy in L.A., is available now on YouTube. You can get tickets at jeffdye.com. It's Jeff Dye, everybody. What's up, you guys?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Thanks for having me. Welcome to Texas.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Love what you've done with the plays. Thank you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Congratulations on the special.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Thank you very much. Where'd you shoot?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
um in nashville at a place called the electric jane which is like a music venue nashville's a great comedy town it was awesome yeah uh i i don't know a lot about nashville and every time i go there i kind of have a different experience than i'm like i like this place every time people always like have it as like the sister city to this city oh really yeah they think i think it's there's there's some similarities to it but yeah it's a big city but it's got that country thing
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
It's got a country feel to it. Accessible city. There's more people there than the city is built for, just like Austin. It's cool.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
It's growing. If you have a cool town, we will ruin it. We will all move there and ruin it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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No, I get it. I've been around you enough to know exactly how it works.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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I would hate to start the podcast on a negative note, but I don't hate anything more than that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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You'll see it here. It's popular here. I hate it so much. So much. Because also, if you want to drink and have fun, just go do it. I know. Why do we have to be part of it? Like, why is a guy working? I have to hear you shouting, fall out, boy. And they're like, the guy's working. Like, why did the bar come to me out here?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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It is a bummer. And I always, every time I'm down, because you always see it downtown, when you see that, I always think about a truck hitting them. I would love that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
What was that noise? It was a phlegmy cough.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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I know it sounds terrible, but I hate it so much. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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Well, you don't even have to pedal. That's the big coup about it. They're not even part of the system. Oh, really? There's a main guy who's in charge. He's the one. That's the whole thing. Well, he's got gray legs. Yeah. Those other people pedaling, it's like paying taxes. Like they're doing a lot of work, but it ain't going. It's not doing anything. Yeah. That's good.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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It was what's called a productive, productive cough. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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I don't want to drink and do any exercise.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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I don't do it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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That's ridiculous. Right? No, I want to sit down.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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Saw the greatest thing ever with one of those pedal carts in Detroit. One of the black Israelites were out on a Saturday. You know these guys? Yes. You don't know who they are. Look them up. They just yell at people. Yeah. They're just trying to invoke any sort of thing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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They usually stand at a corner and they just like...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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But it was Detroit, so it's really cold. So they're wearing their Muslim garb, but then he had like a Detroit Lions like starter jacket like over it because it's cold. But they're like, you white devil bitch, like just yelling at people, right? And I'm just kind of got my headphones in and kind of like, I'm scared if I'm honest. And I'm waiting to cross the light or the street.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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But then coming down the same street is one of these pedal carts full of just bachelorettes singing to music. And I was like, wait, they might have to be on the same street. Yeah. So I waded through my walk sign to just see if those two worlds would collide. Collide, yeah. And it did. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I thought it would be this masterpiece of whatever, but instead just both groups were uncomfortable and didn't know what to do. So they both just silently stopped their bullshit. Yeah, yeah. That's kind of it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
It is such a thing, too, because I would have done the same thing. Like, I'm going to stand here and look like I'm doing something. Oh, it was amazing to watch this.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I had to wait like a few minutes, too. I was like, okay, they're coming. The cart's coming. Oh, I forgot to check something on my phone. Yeah, exactly.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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They're the same everywhere.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
A drunk girl in her 20s is the same in every city.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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I'm terrified of drunk women now.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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You'd be lucky if she talked to you. Like, they're always... Defending their ugly friends. Oh, yeah, for sure.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
You're like, no, she's talking to me. What do you mean you have to go?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I mean, that's an Austin look and a Nashville look for sure. Yeah, it's adorable. I like it. It's always the white boots. You see it a lot, obviously, on game day here, like when UT's playing. You just see 80,000 chicks like this.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
It seems like women copy these looks. Like, what is the playbook? Do you guys go, is it a celebrity, or is it just a thing you see, and you go, I want to dress like this?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
it's usually it could be celebrity based I think a lot of people and my friends do what we want yeah do her do her she's like she's just awful though it's awful because it's because she's drunk you know she's drunk and then she's just like mean yeah and entitled but I like that she thinks she's a rugged individualist she's like
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Can I tell you something? I know what you mean, because it was a young, fresh.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Well, they always, I swear, like, you can be, like, passing by, like, minding your own business. And that girl has, like, somehow goes, like, fuck, are you looking at? I know. Yeah, they'll reject you from, like, six feet. Yeah, you're like, I'm not talking to you. I'm not looking at you. Well, you should be looking at us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We did talk to you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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You're like, fuck, are you looking at us?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
and then you notice her like 230 pound friend and then they're like what was that yeah i just saw the fucking starting linebacker for the horns here yeah they're just so entitled and it's so embarrassing because i was a 20 year old girl obviously a million years ago and i had a friend like that yeah every girl does the instigator yeah that's right why do they think they're so tough it's not it's it's booze babe it's just like but
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
It's booze riddled with insecurity, which is what usually fuels a booze binge. You're insecure, and you do it for a different reason.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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It felt so fresh and young and vibrant.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
But I get sad when I'm drunk and insecure. I don't get overly confident.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
This is what you see. Booze affects people. I've never been a confrontational drunk. Me neither. But that's just wiring. It's not in me. I had a friend in high school, college, who was like, Super cool guy. And then you get a few and he would come and headbutt you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Oh, my God.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Fuck, man. But then what happens is you're like, yeah, I don't want to be around. Yeah, it's not fun in this situation.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I don't know if they're experienced, though. I think after a couple weeks, you'd be like, oh, fuck, what's going on? Because these guys, this is like the varsity team. But it is fun when you bring your kids to school. You know what I mean? Bring your kids to work day. Is that what you think they were? They were cute. It was a much younger vibe.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
You know, like I was I'm like a nice drunk. I was with a bunch of comics at a nice dinner recently. And we were they were describing one of their celebrity friends that I was like, I'd love to meet that guy. I'm not going to say his name just because it's not my story to tell. But they were like, oh, he's real fun till he's not.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
They go, he's the best, the best, the best. And then at a certain point, with the drugs and drinking, it's just a nightmare. And I was like, oh, that sounds not as exciting as I'd hoped.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Please tell the story. It's already a good setting for this. It's one of my favorite.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Saddle Ranch. I was an intern at Copelson Entertainment.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
what is it for the record like a management or like no copelson was a production company that they made um the fugitive you know the harrison ford movie oh yeah yeah uh murder at 1600 arnold copelson's a big-time producer and because i was like i'm going to la and i want to make movies so that i started interning there and i ended up doing script coverage and i moved on to do more coverage for other producers but when i was interning there
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
some of the assistants, so I'm an unpaid intern. And the assistants are like, you want to come out with us tonight? And I was like, sure. And I know I want to be performing, so I think I, I don't even know if I had done stand-up. If I had done stand-up, I'd done it like once.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
and we go out and like what age were you 21 okay so um start at one bar and i have a few and i just just keep drinking yeah to the point where i i mean i definitely black out so i only remember bits of people but it was retold to me that we we made it to was it saddle ranch or was it miyagi miyagi sunset boulevard like i think it's still there whatever sushi is
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
bad sushi, you know, it's like a party place. So now this is like our second or third location, and I am completely shit-faced. And I am holding court, I'm telling the story. And we're all standing in the circle, and there's like six assistants from work. And I'm just like, telling the story. And then I only learned this later because I don't recall it much.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
But they told me, they're like, you're telling the story. And, you know, people are laughing, but they're also looking at you because you're so clearly completely fucked up. And they go, and then you just start throwing up, right?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
And you puke everywhere. You know, like, post-puke, you spit. So you're like, it's like, they're like, you're spitting. You're like, pfft, pfft. And then you stand up and you just go right back in your story. That's the best. And they're all like, ah. And the only reason I blacked out when I got home. And I had a friend who I was living with at the time. He was like, yeah, you were fucking...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
That's the king of storytelling, though. Like, you're the storytelling guy. Storyteller. And they're like, where was I? Hold on, where was I? That's amazing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
But I remember that I got into... Like, he told me he was like, you were fucking... And I still was like, eh. And then I get into work on Monday, and all of them were like... Changed your rep. Oh, yeah. They were like, this guy. You're a fucking mess, dude. Like, just puking in front of people. It's cool, though.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
That, I don't know. I'm sure.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Oh, any story could have been that good.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
When you're in it. When you're in it. You know, like.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
But I have to pivot away from this because I actually feel like after a lot of thought, these guys weren't the worst when I nearly choked to death. The worst person was definitely you. And And it's not lost on me, and it's not lost on anybody that watched me basically hang on for my life and have my spouse mock me as I was on death's door. It's so funny.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
And you don't lose focus, too. You're like, oh. Hold on.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Like I was saying.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
So I come around the corner. And they're like, uh-huh.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
And it could be a legend at a workplace, too. They carried me home.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
They carried me home. Charlie and Jack carried me back to my place. And then in the morning, I had no clothes. And there was a towel on the ground because I had also puked when I got back to the place. What happened to your clothes? I don't fucking know. I don't know.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
They took it off of me? I don't know. I don't know if this is interesting or not, but I'm always fascinated when people are surprised when people get drunk. Like I said, I don't know if this is interesting, but so many times we'd go to a bar in San Diego, me and my buddy Josh Nelson, great comedian, and we would just get hammered. The bartenders were our friends. They would get us hammered.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
We would flirt with them. Obviously, it's never going to happen. We'd try to do whatever. We'd look at girls too young for us, and then we would go home. And then the next day, we'd get lunch at the same bar, and they'd be like,
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
last night you're like yeah you got us drunk yeah we're at a bar what are you talking about and i go did i do anything embarrassing i go no i go did i like try to fight someone or get on the bar or puke they go no i go then why are you telling me that i was drunk last night like it drives me crazy just to shame you yeah or like streakers will run on a baseball field and they'd be like that fucking drunk guy you're like yeah dude you've been selling him 30 bud lights all night like yeah like he's gonna do drunk guy shit
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Oh, we want names. This is a podcast.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah. I was like, I got to go.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah, I get to drink a few.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
You can also do whatever the fuck you want. Do whatever I want. I mean, it's not a crime to get hammered. On your vacation. Well, so anytime. It's not a crime to get hammered at all. I mean, when you drive, you can get in a little bit of trouble.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Everybody who drinks has had at least... 10 incidents in their life where they were like, I should have gotten a DUI.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah, you reflect the next day. Oh, my God.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I've had two that are so traumatizing. You need them. If you don't get one, you need the incidents to scare the fuck out of you. One time where I was... in L.A.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
and I got pulled over on Sunset I'd been drinking my buddy's in the passenger seat and I was like and I just go what do I do and he just goes I don't know because he knows we've been drinking yeah he knows the deal yeah and the guy comes up and he's like you're driving kind of erratically and I go it's a rental
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
that was i was like i just oh that makes sense because that part was true i was like i don't even know how it all works it is a pg cruiser maybe that's why it's and he was like you know license and i was you know your heart rate is just and then it's like a movie a fucking call comes out he's like he goes it's your lucky day i gotta go oh It is your lucky day. I just got out of the car.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I was like, let's just fucking walk. Yes. Seriously. Oh, that's so traumatizing. And then another time where I was annihilated. Yeah. Like fully fucking.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Well, to be driving erratic is, you know. Which I was doing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I really was doing because he was right. It was a rental. And I was like, this is fun. I'm like fucking with the gears. But the one time I was in college and I had drank a bunch and then smoked. So I was like blasted. And I insisted in getting in my car and driving back to my place. And as I pulled onto this main street to go to my place...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
cop comes and what he does is he rides my blind spot for probably you know I don't know half a mile but when you're that up yeah it feels like 10 miles and you're just all in the mirror just kind of you're just like all I was doing was like I go the speed was like 35 and like stay in the lines and I was just like You just turn your brain on to focus so hard.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
And I was like, just don't fucking do anything. Just stay in these lines. Stay going 35. And I was just waiting, and then he just broke off. But it was clearly, it was one of those where I was like, I pulled over. I was like, oh, my God. Like, it was, you see your life, like, because if that one, he wouldn't have been like, it's your lucky day. He'd be like, we need to call extra units over here.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah, like, what is this guy? Yeah, this guy's fucking heavy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
A funny drinking thing I think of with you is, you know when you do college gigs, the kid, for whatever reason, I don't know why this was a thing, maybe it's not anymore, but if there was a thing where they're like, all right, it's going to be this amount of money, you're going to get picked up at this time, do 60 minutes, and then the students want to take you out to dinner. Oh.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
And for whatever reason, you're like, why is this part of it? And they're all younger than me and stuff. And then sometimes I say, I don't want to do the dinner or whatever. But then I'm so lonely and I'm in whatever town that they'll be like, we're going to go to a bar if you want. But you know it's a college bar and you're still like, I don't know.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
And then you know what? I wasn't really remembering this, but then somebody pointed something out.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
And I was also like, last time I did college was like 10 years ago. But... I remember one time they were like, Tom Segura came with us once and he drank with us. And I remember being like, are you sure? And I felt like I should do it. Cause I was like, well, if Tom did it, he's a better comic than me. If he's drinking with these fucking young kids.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
He had so much fun with us. Like, no, he didn't. It was in Colorado somewhere. Oh, I know where that was. Really? Was that the School of Mining? Yeah, Golden, the town of Golden. That was in the School of Mining. I remember doing that. You know what the craziest thing was at that show? I remember that it was Obama was either president or being elected. That's how long ago that was.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
And the reason I'll never forget, first of all, they had me perform in the cafeteria.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
that's jor yeah i was so uh we got this email i recently introduced my husband to the full ymh experience episode 788 where tom nearly dies uh choking please right after finishing this episode i wanted to show him more and i clicked on the episode with charo and blanca in this episode we noticed a moment where christina chokes on water and tom shows genuine love and concern Not laughter.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
yeah I did this exact show in the cafeteria outside of Lance Armstrong statue why is it always in the cafeteria they don't have anywhere else they don't care so there's like let's say 200 people in there and I'm getting into like I have you know a bit about I just can't remember whether it's he's being he's running or he's elected something Obama joke it's my Obama bit and I go and I say something like
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
What do you think? And some guy goes, oh, he's an N-word. Oh, my God. And I just go, what? Like, what did you say? And then he repeats it. And I look around the room and everyone's like, so what's your bit? And I'm like...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I was like this is insane Corey told you do your bit is your bit similar to that no that's wild it was wild and I just went back and I walked off and I remember I forget who I had with me but I was like did you and they were like yeah that happened to me too I feel like you took my story and just made it yours
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
It's another place that that could happen.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I had a story, no N-word story, but at the School of Mines in Colorado, I was doing my liberal bullshit. I'm from Seattle. I'm a pretty liberal guy. Not by today's standards. And I was doing some bit about like, that was like an anti-oil bit. Because I was like, you know, like if we have a problem with oil and gas, you know, the Bush administration is always talking about that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Like then let's cancel NASCAR. Like they're wasting, they're just going in circles. And I was doing well until this bit. And then they all just got weird on me, like crying. And I was like, no. And then afterwards they're like, oh, you know why? This is like a big oil place. Oh, like people work on that. It's a school of minds. I don't know why I didn't think of that. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I did my dumb liberal anti-oil bit.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
We're going to shift gears on how we like you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Exactly. And it happened right away. So fast. But I got them back with some, you know, frivolous cats and Mario Brothers bullshit.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
You don't have a good comeback?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
That's the one I'm talking about. The one running for president.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah, same guy, same guy. You got it. Or I would just shame them. I'd be like, Jesus Christ, what is my Uncle Al here? You know, just playfully shame them as like, that's not how we speak. Or double down and agree with them. Like say, yeah, that's the guy. Wait, why are you interrupting? You know who I'm talking about.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
The crazier thing to me when this happened was A, there's the nerve, right? Sure. But the fact that the whole room was like... Same as Shreveport.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Well, this isn't a popular take. I'm risking something to say this. I think a lot of that kind of thing is this, aren't I being naughty? Yeah, yeah. Sure. Like, they don't really, I mean, some people really do think that, obviously. Yeah. But I'm saying, like, I think a lot of times it's very, like, aren't I, I'm being a shocking guy. Sure.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I mean, there's a lot of comedians that live in that world of, like, what's taboo?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I'll say it. Right, right.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Howard Stern made a whole career off of it. If you say the thing, but it's also a good joke, then it's like, that's art. But if you're just like, here's something that I shouldn't say and I'll say it, then you're just... But I did it when I was a kid.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I'll admit that I used to like... Because I grew up in this white bread area of Washington that's south of Seattle. And me and all my friends, we'd play video games. We're smelly little boys. It's very classic kind of whatever. We had two black kids at our school. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
And I remember like the bad kids, the rebellious, the naughty kids, they got to get in, like they would get in fights or they would steal or they would blow up mailboxes or they would do these things. Well, that all has risks. Yeah. You know, like, like you can get arrested or you can get suspended or in trouble. You could get in a fight hurts.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Whereas like, if I just said the N word while we're playing video games, everyone would be like, Jeff is nuts.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
And so I learned like, oh, just, you're just saying a forbidden word for you. What's that? We should show them the merch.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Oh, sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure. Yeah. What is the thing? Yeah, this is a real thing here.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Now, the question is, does it fall into the same category that we're discussing, which I think it does. The person who really buys this isn't like, God, this is my favorite fisherman.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I felt like I needed to have Tom's back here and wanted to provide the evidence to help redeem him after the way he was treated. I tune in weekly and have never wanted to write into the show more until this evidence presented itself. However I do, you'd ask Tom, please forgive the staff and your beautiful co-host. Everyone deserves another chance. Keep them high and tight. Love, Keely from Oregon.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yes, they think it's naughty and hilarious.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
It's fun to be naughty. In this instance, you get away with it. Somebody goes, what the fuck? You go, this is a fucking fisherman. 100%.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Well, my favorite way to phrase it is Beth Stelling. We'll talk about how it's sometimes fun, and I'm very guilty of it in my act all the time, to be a little piggy in the mud. Yeah, sure. It's fun to be naughty, and that's all it is. That's what every comedian loves. There's no hatred in our hearts. It's just kind of fun to be the mischievous.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Or there's a college football player named Noah Kaniga.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
can you pull him up this one's not even spelled too aggressive that fisherman it's not spelled that aggressive what we're about to see is spelled pretty aggressive and it's his name this is a linebacker the K is not silent it is the K is silent for sure he's gotten famous just because of his name but he's also pretty good I think I think you changed that last name there he is
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
And it's like, do you need a linebacker?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
When also you've got a Noah, it's kind of good, too.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Well, yeah, I think the recruiting thing was like, we need a linebacker. I think a Noah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Right. It's perfect.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
And that has no K for that. I love it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah. Yeah, you know that, what is it called? The broadcasters are always like, whoa.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Oh, dude, I wouldn't do it. There's a guy named, look up Seattle Mariners Mitch. Han, H-A-N, H-A-N. And the rest will come up. And when I cheer for him in Seattle, I call him Mitch H. And sometimes people will look back because I'm going, come on, Mitch H. And they'll turn around and I'll go, well, I'm not going to say his whole name.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
And I'll get a little laugh from the person like, I see what you did there.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
There was a, I remember because I always followed FSU football, that they had a wide receiver named Dakota. And there's just no way around that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
There's no way around that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
They would just be like, the guys calling the game would be like, you know, first down by fact.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
What do you do? Yeah, you got to do it. Also, is he straight or gay? This guy. Because it would be great if he was also gay. What a treat. There he is. You know what I mean?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
There he is. There's Dakota Fagg.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Oh, yeah. He looks pretty straight, actually. If I had to profile, I think that's a straight guy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
There is no doubt that what fueled this guy to be a Division I football player was being called a fag his entire life.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
This is the pro-athlete version of Boy Named Sue, for sure. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Also, at this point, don't you think if you're in this family, you're like, I think we can petition to do the name change?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Or you're like, no, we're devoted fags. No.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
We love our back. Like, come on.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
For my podcast, we basically play a game where it's like, how much? We just ask you a thing. And then we crowdsource the money. So you actually have to do whatever the thing is you said you'll do.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
and we were like one of them was how much to change your name for a year yeah and so like to change my name to Jeff Farts for a whole year and I've got to commit to it I've got to like everywhere you go yeah we put a caveat for like comedy because you spend so long building your brand as far as like tour posters and stuff sure so you can Whatever.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
But for your everyday life, your male, your IG, I'd do it for five grand.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Five grand.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
That's it? And I think it's kind of funny also. It's very funny.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
That one is a good example. And they'll never believe you. So you'd have to do like a P-H-A-R-T-Z or something, you know? Because I feel like it's F-A-R-T-S. It's like, what?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Well, if they don't believe me, I can just show them my ID. Oh, your ID will say it. And be like, gosh, it's my real name. I'm not trying to be silly here.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Well, let's talk about it. Let's see what she was talking about. Yeah, Keely.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
A table for farts is ready.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
That's great.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah. See, I think this guy's name fuels either if you're an athlete, you become a high-level athlete, or this would be the perfect fuel to make a comedian.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah, that'd be fine. I mean, I always do a fake name at Starbucks anyway.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I do, but it's not for humor. I just can't believe they're going to take any name I tell them. What names have you gone with? I usually do Mortal Kombat names, but the most preposterous ones I can think of, like Cyrax. And they'll be like, Cyrax? And I'm like, yeah. And they're like, they don't push back much. They just write it on the cup.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
In their defense, they're doing a lot of writing in there.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Here's the difference. Here's me hanging on for dear life.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
In their defense, they are, you know.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Teenagers who hate their jobs. I've done it. Wait, just a second ago you said, that makes a good comedian. Yeah. You're a therapy person. Have you guys kind of gotten to the thing that makes you believe why you're a comedian? I mean, definitely. So much.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
thought about it. I think the most simple, broad thing for me is, well, two things. One, I think moving a lot as a kid plays a role in the fact that you're just always new and wanting to be accepted by a new group. That's how you get friends, by just being humorous. I went to eight or nine different schools. That's a lot. That's a lot of being new.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Okay. Here's me just trying to live. Hey, guys. I was listening to the Adrienne Appaloochee episode. By the way, she has a great new special out on Netflix. You guys are, of course, what? Are you okay? I just choked for a second. I can't choke. Hey, fuck you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
And I think I have a good bit of middle child syndrome of where you just are kind of ignored because you have your first kid who's taking all the attention and then your baby. And so they're just like, well, we're glad that you don't need anything. So I think those things play into the psyche of how you become a comedian.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Full of rage, too.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Well, that helps for comedy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
It's a great one.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I'm just, it's very simple, short and sweet. Like, my parents just were like, I was not like a victim of abuse, but we were like victims, me and my sisters, of neglect. And neglect makes you go, like, you know, I'll get in trouble. Yeah. I'll draw something. Look what I drew. I'm, you know, like that family guy thing where he's like, mom, mom, mom.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
That's a version of like middle kid, right? You just feel, you feel lost.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
We just, they're never around.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
And when they were around, they weren't around. So it was just like, constantly needing validation, which is a comic.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
No, I've never been able to really... No people are like my parents. I've never met any people like my parents. Now, what I'm about to tell you, you won't believe. Okay. They have no friends. They have no hobbies. They have no favorite movies. They don't have a favorite food. There's no interests. They don't connect with anyone else in the family.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
They're just these two people that work, and then when they get done with work, they just sit home. They don't want to be parents. They don't want to be married, I don't think. They don't want to cheat. There's no interests. So the reason I want to do everything, and I want everyone to be my friend, and I need so much, is because they did nothing, I want to do everything.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
So they're uninspiring people.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
They don't want to do anything.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Really?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I'll go watch the show, and they'll say, yeah, put it on. I'll put a show on, I'll look over, and they're getting up, and then go into their room, napping.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I think this is my least, the thing, I had a good relationship with my father, and one thing that always made me crazy is I'd be like, I know you like this topic, So, like, check this out. And I'd put on, like, a movie or a show about something that I know interests him. And I'd be like, what do you think? He'd be like, what's that? Are you watching this?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I just showed you this for you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
no i i already know this i'm like no you don't you don't know this and he's like i gave him a book one time and i was like this book is like exactly what we were discussing and i you know it's aliens and then he would be like oh thanks buddy and then the next day i was like you're reading that but he goes yeah i finished it i go 600 pages he goes well i knew most of it and i was like
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
On Netflix. It was scary.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
So would you just kind of like skim through it? He's like, yeah, yeah, interesting. I'm like, it makes me crazy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
It drives me nuts. I'm actually the worst. This is like whoever my future partner will end up being is going to be so annoyed with how much I need someone to see what I'm seeing or watch what I'm watching. I'm the best consumer, because if you gave me a product and I liked it, I wouldn't shut the fuck up about it. I'm the best for everything I have. I've got to share and tell.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
But I'll show my buddy a movie or a YouTube clip, and if I look over and they're texting, I go crazy. I'm like, dude, I'm showing you something.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Everyone's fired. Okay, first of all, I'm being re-traumatized. I'm just trying to show you something. I don't like this at all. I don't like where this is going.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
It also makes me crazy when somebody goes, this is really funny, and they send it to me, and I go... This made you laugh?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Oh, no. Yeah, that would drive me crazy. Stop being my friend. But you're honest. I think that's the good part of that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
A lot of this is in your head.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I don't think so. I know so.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
If I said something... Give him an example of something that... Here's my point.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
If you say something once for her, she goes, that is... That's an always thing. You're like, no, I said something one time.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Right. What was the one thing he said that he hated that was on Netflix? Some gay shit she was watching. I don't know. Well, do you watch like some girl, like girls like shows that men don't like. She loves period pieces. And it's tough for us to understand.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I love that she finds a show that she loves, because I think it's a great feeling when you find... But sometimes he'll like my dumb girl stuff. She got me into Downton Abbey, and I think it's a period piece. Never saw it. It looks like some gay shit. Here's the thing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
It's the best. It is phenomenal.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
The writing is top tier. The acting's incredible. I'm out, then.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
It's so gay. It's really gay. Well, me and Burt were talking about this recently on his thing. It was like... I am pretty easy to convince, too. I'm like, I'm not watching this shit. And then they just go, just watch like an episode. And then I'm like, all right, I'm in. That one's fantastic.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
No, it's just about to be, seriously, I'm about to shut the studio down. Okay, so that's how you react to your spouse literally having a life-threatening moment. And then here's how this is the other way.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
And then I'll watch the whole thing. That one's fantastic.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
But I'm like, I'm a judge at first, and then I'm an easy sell after.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
And you probably, look, if I sat down and watched it, I don't know if I'd like it. But if it's good, if it's quality, like the thing about television and movies is there can be genres that you're drawn to and ones that you're not. But if something actually is great. Yeah. It's the same with sports, right? There's sports that I'm like, yeah, I'm not really into this.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
If you show me, I don't know, a World Cup game, the drama, the stakes, the best players, I'm like, oh, I'm into this because it's the highest level. So, yeah, it's just, you know.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I don't hate your music.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
What is goth music?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
It's really incredible. I've never heard of any of this. I've never met somebody quite like her, too.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
People have a favorite band sometimes, and you're like, okay.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I just learned about a genre of music. I didn't even know goth. I thought goth was like some teenagers I picked on in school.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
It's so funny to me how devoted she is. It's kind of amusing because, like I said, I like some different genres of music. I don't think I have a favorite one group, but But, like, you know, I'll listen to different things. With her, she's like, oh, I love Bauhaus, right? Yeah, I've never heard of that either.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I can't tell you how many times I walk by her closet and I just hear her go, hey, Siri, or hey, Alexa, whatever, play Bauhaus. It's like hundreds of times. I'm like, god damn, you really want to hear this every day. Is that a band or is it a genre?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
That's them. Oh, Bauhaus is the band. That's the band.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
You told Siri to play it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
It's not mine. That's my phone.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah, Tom, it's yours because you said, hey, Siri. Oh, you said, hey, Siri.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Oh. But Ed Sheeran came on.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
What's the song name? Maybe it's that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Stop the Rain?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I'll tell you this. I like Ed Sheeran. Stop. I like Ed Sheeran.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
This is the only thing I want to tell you. It's because she's a teacher. It's the most annoying thing in the world that you don't prove to Blanca.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Well, I don't think he said he doesn't criticize anything. He's not even listening to us right now. I am. I'm just seeing what the hell happened.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I do feel like women watch and like things that are... And it always is a great balance when a man likes sports. Do you like sports? Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Because then you go, see how you don't like this and I'm really into this? I get that that's what your shit is. That's what I'm saying. His Downton Abbey. Her being really into a show. I go, that's great. Right. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah, 100%. For her, football, she's like, is it still on? I'm like, yeah, it's the fucking second quarter.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah, they're long, yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Shorter than Marvel movies, I'll tell you that. What happens on the show?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I know.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
This always amuses me because I've never heard it through this lens. And it actually is very funny. The funniest one is like, you know, the shows where they recap games. She's like, are they talking about the game you just watched? And I'm like, yeah. And it's just like five guys who are like, they should have held on to the bulb.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
It can be three days with the same coughing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah, that's true. That is true. But I tell you what, every message, anything I ever send to Maria, I send it to Maria. So why?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
And they laugh at their dumb... I was like, until you pointed that out, I just thought this was totally normal. It is normal to us. I was like, no, it's super lame.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
You cared about the game, right? So you have to have an emotional investment, some. Otherwise, if you don't give a shit... It also reminds me what happened.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah, it reminds you what happened. It sounds really lazy, but I'm like, oh yeah, that happened in the first quarter. Because there's a lot going on. It's a four-hour game. And then if you lost...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
You're like, why did we fucking lose? And then these guys are talking about why.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
And we like to believe that they know more than us. Like, oh, he played for the Steelers in the 70s. He must have a better idea of what happened. Also, Tom might not admit this. I don't know if I really will admit it, but I think maybe... Some people like to then regurgitate what those old athletes said later, like the next day at work.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
It becomes your point of view.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Right. Because I agree with that. I will now absorb that. And then I will say that like I thought of it. Yeah, yeah. Because I don't know a lot about sports as much as I love sports. My heart for sports is bigger than my brain for sports. Right.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
But why the game of... If you can't convert third downs, I mean, how are we going to fucking win?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Exactly. I'll say stuff like, I mean, are you going to... That was more of a great defensive play than it was a bad interception.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Someone's like, that's your thought? You're like, yeah. Yeah, that's what I thought.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
It's not to shame. First of all, they're contractually obligated to do it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I am the mother. Don't you think I know what I'm doing with my daughter? You're right. I'm just joking. Hold on. You keep moving your chair, by the way. Sorry, go ahead.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Which I think is dog shit. Terrible. I agree with you on this one. Sad. Let's stop interviewing athletes and coaches who have had media training. They give them training to teach them to not say anything. Then we interview them. And I'm friends with some journalists who won't like this take, but...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
The only time an athlete is interesting and it goes like viral is if the player screws up and then the player gets fined for saying something he shouldn't.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
It's the best.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
They're like capitalizing on like, look, he screwed up. He said a thing he shouldn't have.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
It's why the UFC is amazing. Oh, I love that. They're allowed to say anything. They say anything. And Dana White is amazing. He encourages it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
And he also is like, fuck that shit.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Right. And you're like.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Because all the other commissioners are like, you own this league? You run this. The other guys are terrible. They're literally like talking to the, like the, Roger Goodell is like the CEO of Coca-Cola.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Like he's not going to say anything interesting ever. It's just like, and as an organization, we are committed to making their communities better. And you're like, okay. Like Dana is just like, You want to see that fucking fight?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah, he's the best. Cool. Well, that's why I used to say, before Donald Trump, I used to always talk about how, like, why would you even want a politician on your podcast? Because, like, when Obama did WTF, I was like, Barack Obama went into Marc Maron's cat-infested garage in Silver Lake or wherever. I couldn't believe it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
And then you listen to the episode, you're like, oh, yeah, he's the president. He can't just get on there and be like, you know...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Shlobodan Milosevic is a psycho listen to this story he can't he's the president now he does better interviews I've seen clips of him like he did what is it like Ryan Clark and Channing Crowder's podcast and those clips the way he was speaking you're like oh this is a guy who's not in office anymore right and those that's great
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
And he was funny on that and interesting because he's an ex-president, right?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
So, yeah, most of the time, no one's like Trump.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Well, that's why he kind of broke the mold of that. He totally did. Which I don't even think we'll see again. I don't think we'll see that again.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I don't think the next few presidents will be like that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
If Barack Obama would have called a woman fat, it would have been the worst thing for his life ever. He would have tailspin. But if I told you, Donald Trump called some lady fat, you guys would go, yeah, yeah. He does that all the time. And it's Tuesday. That's what he does, dude. I think we're going to see more of it, not less.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I don't think...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I think people will try there's something that he has like a it's just like a mix of qualities that allows him look you can find a hundred things he's said that would have ended people's careers anyone else I think part of it is the source people are just like this is I think the only reason Trump won and like won the popular vote and all this stuff is because he wasn't a politician now if any other person was running that wasn't a politician they would have won instead right that's why I think we'll see more of it
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Maybe if it's another non-politician.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
That's what we need.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Because you can't get into politics with that. You have to come from the outside.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
And politics used to be, they'd come to your town, right? Before the internet. They'd come to your town and go, you guys like guns? Oh, hey, guns are good. We're going to help you. And they'd go to the next town and they'd say, what do you got? They'd go, we hate guns. They'd go, we're going to get rid of guns. But now with the internet.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah, you can't.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
You can see that a politician will say a thing and then you'll go, but they just said a different thing in this. And now we can compare it. We have reels. We have social media. And so like the age of being a politician where you just kind of say what works is it's over.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Just look at us. You have to look at us and you'll know where sisters are. Now, this is...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
That's a good point. You got to be authentic. Yeah. Authentically yourself. That's the other thing is that he's not. I don't think he's like.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
putting one on when he does that that's who he is i think so too and i think that like that not to confuse that with being honest but it is he's not telling different stories in different places is all yeah he's he's coming with his flaws and his things right there and you go all right i do like we know what we're getting i like that he lost weight and i like that he's not as orange and i like and like my crazy neighbor oh yeah you want to talk politics i like that he lost weight and he's orange
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
He did, he did.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
He does.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
After they tried to murder him, after the FBI tried to kill him, now he's like, all right, I'll lay low a little ways.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Of course. Good for him.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
He looks great. He eats McDonald's like three times a day. So yeah, maybe he did take some Ozempic.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
He likes KFC.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I don't know much about Ozempic. Everyone talks about it. It's in everyone's act. Oh, it's great.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I know nothing about it. You're on it? Back on it. Are you? Oh, yeah. Are there any negatives?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
What are we, splitting hairs here? You want to lose the weight, right?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah, and it's easy to get.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Everyone talks about it. Oh, yeah. I'll be with someone, and they'll say, I think your friend took Ozemp because I don't even know what that means.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
But most people don't take that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah, he was pre-diabetic. He was like 285, and he took it and lost some weight. Interesting, yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I want to show you something. You tell me whether this is horrible or hilarious to you. Okay, it's probably going to be both. Those overlap. Sometimes. Here we go. I've got an interest in humor.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Well, okay, first of all, it was annoying to listen to.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
That's amazing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah, I really like it. That's pretty good.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I like these kind of Darwinistic, like, well, what'd you expect kind of stuff. Like, did you guys see Chimp Crazy on HBO?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
no it's this it's the people the guy who made tiger king made a movie or made a doc series about the same kind of thing instead of with cat people it's people that have monkeys and chimps wow it's you'll love it what's it called it's called chimp crazy oh wow it's just as good as tiger king but now we're not in a pandemic so everyone's not chimps when they feel the need to be aggressive
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
will do almost always the same things first to a male because they identify that you're male. They'll bite your fingers off because they know that these are your kind of weapons. And they'll rip your testicles off. And then they usually will pull your jaw out and they can pull strips of skin off of your back
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
My thing was just like, you're about to die. And then I was like, you're good. And you told me you're good. I did not mock you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
like it's just pieces the only reason I know all this is because of Chimp Crazy they go through everything Travis the Chimp who fucked up that lady like they go through all this it made me hate monkeys too they're kind of gross to me now or hey made me hate chimps but I'm trying to think why I brought that up oh because of the guy that bombed his hand off right there so for this it's like listen
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
if this dumb lady needs to keep a bunch of gross chimps locked up to be happy, good for her. I don't give a shit. Lock up these ugly, non-working Hollywood monkeys, right? But if those monkeys rip her fucking face off and she looks like some ghoul on the Oprah Winfrey show, I'm fine with that too. I don't care about either. I don't give a fuck about these monkeys or this dumb lady.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
And so I feel like that's kind of like the bomb in the hand. You want to go shoot a bomb up?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
at the lake then go for it do it but also when your hand blows off I go that's hilarious to me that's what you get stupid you set this up that was 200 grams of ammonium nitrate and nitro is it methane it has a Detonation velocity of, what is it? 58 kilometers a second. The person basically made a bomb, leading to his hand being blown straight off.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
The ammonium nitrate was used in World War I to make low-cost explosive dynamite. His hand is gone, and it took seven weeks to recover. Jeebus.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Also, go back to the beginning of the video.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Look how happy he is. And when he's looking back, like he's like, look at him looking back. He's really trying to impress everybody. Like, check this out.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Oh, God.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I like the scream. The screams are always good.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Everybody hated it. Everybody hated it because it was prolonged. If you're going to choke, make it quick. Don't fucking make it a whole show. That was really long. It was really horrible.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Also, maybe just try to get, like, a super long wick on something.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
That's the kind of thing, though, part of me, I go, that's hilarious. And then I always just think about our boys.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
They're going to have a thing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I've learned that with my sisters. Sisters will have bickering between mom. They'll go through these wars where one girl will be mean to mom, mom will be mean back. It's this weird female battle. But with boys, it's always some big one thing. They get arrested or they knock up a girl or they beat up a kid in school who's gay. Some weird thing. Some big thing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Just for being alive and gay.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Tie him to a fence and now you can't go to Colorado anymore or Wyoming or whatever. What was I going to say about that? What country was this in?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
It feels Russian.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah, it does. Let's see if it's... Because it says normal if it's Russian.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
It was Slovakia. Of course. On the way. Nearby. Here's another one. Let's see if this makes you laugh.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Oh, God.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I didn't even know that was possible. A new fear unlocked.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Oh, yeah. Have you ever seen pectairs?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
That made me... I didn't like that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah, that was... He didn't ask for that. That counts as horrible.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah, he didn't ask for that. No, he didn't ask for it. He's just weightlifting. Yeah. He's not some jackass. He's just a cute guy trying to... Just some super hot guy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Oh, but see, look at... I don't know. He's got four plates on there. Maybe he was exceeding... You know what I mean? Barking up the wrong tree. Yeah, he was like, hey, dude, if you try to flex for the camera, sometimes it can go.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Sounds like you were looking for attention. It didn't seem like you were.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Maybe that could be it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I know. I don't like that. Okay. Oh, I've seen that. I love that one.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Oh, the aftermath video is great.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
You got to have the aftermath.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I love that. This one's a mix of the two. She wasn't asking for it, but I still like it. I know.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
She had a great sense of humor because she put out the aftermath video, I think, in the same exact area.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
What could be the aftermath? Like, how bad could it be?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Just, oh, it's bad, dude. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Her face hit that platform right.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
really fucking hard it seems like it'd be kind of a just an embarrassing one with a couple bruises or something but she was trying to be like an influencer and say something come to Fiji you know like hey check this out and she hit that shit so hard face first yeah you know that was a tough one let's go check it out oh that's pretty good you guys don't have it
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah, it was like, oh, is this moment not about me?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Bad work. Something about beautiful women getting hurt makes me happier.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Because it happens to them too? They're so like, we're so beautiful. And so to like see it makes it that much more funny to me.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I don't know what it is about it. Because there used to be an Instagram account that I followed. It got banned. But it was called Girls Getting Hurt. And I'd send it to my buddy. He'd get so mad at me. Because he'd be like, stop. Do you hate women? Why are you sending me this? I was like, it's just funny.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I think it's amusing, too. Because you know that somebody has an easier life just by being attractive. Right.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Well, they're protected. We protect women. Yeah, we protect them. And there are like these, you know, like... I don't know, it's like squishing a flower or something. There's something kind of rebellious about it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah, there is. There is. All right, well, here's the next one. Sorry, I keep talking too much during these.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
That's a drunk. That's a drunk, yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
That's a good one.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
The good thing is she won't feel that. Yeah. She had to check her ring camera and go, that's why my butt hurts. Oh, God.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Everything that she owns, though, made it on the patio.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Cigarettes, keys, wallet. It all fell perfectly. Perfectly, yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Although she's got some cushion. She does have a guy shave. Yeah, big butt. That's a good one.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Fuck, I could see myself doing that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
That was hilarious.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
That's all we got today. That's it? That's it, man. Those are the four of the day. Sometimes they're great. Do you ever show like deaths?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I think you put on a bit of a show. But I just want to thank Keely for pointing that out. There's two different types of people.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I mean, it's happened. Try not to go like, here's 10 people dying. Your guest is like, what the fuck? I feel like the face plant stuff is kind of about this lady. Yeah. Harmless fun. Harmless fun. Sometimes we're like, hey, here's a workplace accident. And then you're like, uh.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Here's a shooting at a volleyball game.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
You're like, what the fuck? Oh, shit. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Like what, like a forklift dropped in, like nine million bottles of Coke?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah, those are brutal, too. I always wonder about those. Like, how do we know which ones are alive still? Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
especially when they're like like the china ones and the russia ones they're just always like that machinery yeah they're just posting the video like look at this they don't have the fucking osha like standard it's like when a robot dies here they just go that's one of our employees we've seen some china workplace ones where like there's a pressure valve and a guy just explodes like his body just explodes and they're in china they're just like
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
And that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I know this guy. He answered it so... I'll remove that if you have one in. Because I got to remove all the stuff from the inside. All of that comes out.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Don't do that with your hands.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
So there's a tampon in there. That comes out too. I'll remove it. You're welcome. I don't want you to spend eternity with one of those in there. Don't you get, like, sick or something if one stays in too long? We don't want that to happen.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I know. Let's put choking past us, hopefully, for the rest of the day.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
We don't want that to happen.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I got you. I'll remove everything. Everything gets removed. Got it. I'll throw that away. All your pieces will get put in a bag, and then the bag will be put in your belly. So you'll get to keep everything except for that tampon. I'll throw it away. I'll put it in the red bin. We'll get rid of it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah, he's got him. He keeps them. Jesus.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
But I like that he has a sense of humor about this.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Is there any sort of, because you said you like to talk about the underrepresented on these things. Yeah, marginalized. Is there like a channel that you watch or anything on YouTube where you're like, I wish more people knew about this? Do you? Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
no because I watch some stuff where people come over and they go you watch this and I go yeah this guy rules or this person oh no what are you into like there's a channel called Decoy Voice which is like a great political channel but then there's one called Muck Bang Mermaid oh well those are on the talk you know Muck Bang of course I know Muck Bang do you know Muck Bang Mermaid I do not
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
This is a person doing mukbang, which I just learned what that is. I thought this was just the name of this character, Mukbang Mermaid. I thought that was like a funny name she put before mermaid. But she wears like this terrifying mask and eats foods. But she's doing this great character. And the mask is so... That's her, Mukbang Mermaid. But she's comedically brilliant.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Baby Yezushka was born and then he takes over the world real soon.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Whoever's in that costume is crushing it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Because it's very funny.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I love it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Oh, nice. See, this is my shit right here. Look at this guy. Oh, my God.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Why an index finger for that? I think he just can't show you what he wants to show you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
But it's just an index finger, and he's bragging about being a 300-pound caveman?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Well, he's giving you the POV for sure. Yeah. That is terrifying. Maybe the index finger is the perfect. Yeah, maybe that is. Yeah. He's being honest.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Ready for the show? I'm ready. Let's do it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
You look at you guys. You got this great, you know, you shoot a thing. If you want to shoot an opinion about something, you might walk around. Why is everyone in their goddamn car?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Most people really don't have a space.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Anywhere they could do this?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I think that a lot of people are like, where can I go that I can sit and talk and they can be quiet?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
That's true. It's good for sound.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
It's my car.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Really? I think so. It drives me nuts. You're right. I can't hear to anyone's opinion if you're sitting in a toilet. No, you're totally right. It's always a car. It is. It drives me nuts. I saw it because now my algorithm is insane. I got the best curated algorithm for what I like. But you'll see a girl being like, I'm going to eat this whole pizza. And you're like, in your car?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah, you have to do that in the car. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Maybe a picnic table. You do? You film ones in your car?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Well, also, as a COVID-conscious queer.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah, exactly.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
A COVID-conscious queer.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Can you believe that's not an insult? That sounds like something I'd yell at her. I know. COVID conscious queer. But now it's her identity.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
At least she was like, well, anybody really. Yeah, she went back. If you're a conscious human.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
She thinks she's helping. We're definitely filming the ass. Pan down. Oh, and the person didn't? Yeah, that's cool.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
She's a world-class marathon runner. I saw this story. She's like, yeah, top tier. She finished in the top three on this one. And yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
which correct me if I'm wrong that's a common thing to shit yourself especially if you're the best in the world but you think the best in the world would evacuate their bowels before the race I think they have to it still could happen because don't forget she's running at least 26 miles do you know why it's called a marathon I just learned this no no
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
No idea.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
That's a good one to know.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I love learning things like that. I think that history is the best thing to know for comedy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
It helps a lot. It wasn't funny right now, but you know. I liked it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
No, I think it actually does inform. Yeah. Yeah, it gives you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Knowing things. People like, you'll reference a war and they go, what are you talking about? You go, you don't know this? Yeah. It makes you look smart. It makes you feel smart. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
And then you can weave in the dumbest shit because you said something smart.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
That's true.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Who knew that was in there so good, huh? This is like a. Oh, shit. This is like a DIY talk.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
It's very funny.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Also, why is he doing his own demo? Save a few bucks. He's like, I can do this myself.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Hopefully I just got his pants. I wish women knew the feeling of getting nut tapped. That's okay. There's no way. You can never explain it. You really can't. All right. You'd feel that. And there's a delay. I mean, of course, you'd feel it. It would hurt you is what I'm saying. That fragile would hurt you. I believe it. Those are fragile bits. Those are carrying.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Also, when I was young, I got hit in the nuts a lot.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
That's insane.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah, that's why we got the tube at the top part for like at Wild Wings. That would never pass here. That's scary.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
That would be like week one. Somebody would fly off of that and be like, it's shut down. They've seen us.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
So I know Burt would do this bullshit, but would you do this? No. This? A slide like that? No, I don't think so. I mean, I couldn't do it. Well, actually, I could if you had me. Oh, my God.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I just feel like my luck, too, I would go right off of it. I would just go right to the right. I would, too.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Vicky had such a good career, you know. I would die. Ruined it all with a stupid water slide.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
With a stupid Greek slide. I would die.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
That is insane, though.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Getting work done.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
He's a helper under the desk. You up for it?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Who wants to suck me off?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I know what it means, but I mean like why would he think that's going to help
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
because the armpit you're right and this babe apropos the earlier discussion the armpit is like you guys like that really some guys like yeah I fucking love smelling armpits gross oh what the fuck yeah it's such a gay pose isn't that a gay we're talking about there's no way that's him right is it him that's him I think that's him
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
No wonder everyone's so into this guy Yeah But also isn't that pose The arm up to me And the panties down Also this is a strong move By whoever censored the cock Yeah Because they make the bar super long Yeah Yeah It's smart Yeah It is smart Wait what were you guys Oh the arm thing
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Welcome.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Welcome to your mom's house. Welcome to your mom's house.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Well, we're just talking about they're a community that deserves representation.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
It's true.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Holy shit.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
This can't be America. It is. It is? Yes. It is. Chicken? Next is the 30 second tight hug from this big latex sheet and a few wild rooms completed later. You move into the party room where you begin to celebrate making it before being buried above the head deep in balls. I wasn't the only one that made it out though as I found this little guy in my pocket way after finishing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
That is an experience. I can see how this could be some people's favorite fucking thing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
You know, the people that just love- I love Horror Nights and Halloween things. They made a great documentary about these type of places. Yes.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Do you like haunted houses and stuff?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I love haunted houses. I don't like this kind of stuff. But also the reason like McManny Manor, I think it's called. It was one of the most extreme haunted houses. I think it's still going. Is that right? Did I say the name right? McManny Manor? McCamey Manor. McCamey Manor, yeah. Anyways, the reason his was so controversial is because there's no safe word.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Like this one, at any point they can leave. He said, I made it out, meaning like some people were able to go, ah, let me out.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
uh that's the most extreme one and they waterboard you and like there's no out you can't there's no safe word that's why they think this guy should be locked up he also films it which is because he's a creep and he wants to like watch all these people yeah uh yeah that guy in the middle is the guy who runs it and also to get in you have to like do this waiting list it takes years it's a huge contract that's two dog food cans you have to donate which is strange
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Really?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
That's part of it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Cool. I don't know why.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I mean, it's cool that like, you're totally crazy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah, you have to be a psycho.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
The person doing that is completely insane.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Sexual kinks for sure. Fuck. I also, this is a TikTok thing when he was doing, when he was explaining it. I don't like the cadence in which he's, why is it so, like so. Some of those narration voices. I went into the things and then once you go through the 13 chickens, then you have to go to the electric thing that's being those. And then like, why is that how he's explaining it?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
It's very weird.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah, I hate the way he was explaining that on and off. Oh, shit. Oh, I saw this. Yeah, yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
New Zealand's youngest MP started by... Look at his face. This is so silly.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
It's like... It's so ridiculous.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
In parliament? Doing their battle song? It's ridiculous. And we're all supposed to think, isn't it great?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
So we look virtuous. It's ridiculous.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah. I hope you beat the USC. It's fine on a football field. What are we doing it in parliament for?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
The white guy faces are the best part.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Oh, yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
All right, you guys did your little song. It's so ridiculous.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
And I know people are going to hear, like, oh, he's being a dickhead about it. No, it's like, knock it off. Yeah, that's what you do, like, before the rugby game. We've also evolved. It is. I don't bring my gun into that parliament and go, it's my culture. This is what we used to do. We're all cowboys.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
This form of protest.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
We've evolved past you shouting some tribal thing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
And then 2,000 years later, everyone's like, that was the guy. That was our homie. He was the best. Yeah. We have so much fun stuff planned for today. Number one, I'll let me just tell you, you've noticed that my facial hair is different yet again. So everyone's going to be like, what's going on? Why?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
But that's why I'm against it. I'm not against them doing the haka. Is that what it's called? Yeah, I think so. I'm just against them doing it in Parliament. The guy was dressed like Papa Shango, and it's supposed to be like this civilized thing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I would love to hear this guy on the bottom summary when he got home. Oh, yeah. Telling his wife. Well, you know how they get. Hey, man. They started screaming, hollering, doing their dance.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah, you know. They did the whole thing. She goes, did they do the eyes thing? Oh, yeah, that was part of it. The handshaking. I tried to get order, and they kept popping in with some new ones. What'd you do? Oh, I just said, we're just calling it a day. We're just not going to do this. You should have seen Gary. He was fucking terrified.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
He was like, all right.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
This needs to be cleared.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Come on. The next day, he's like, are we going to do a fucking show again today?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah, I know. I hated it. I saw that video like four times and every time I was like, this is ridiculous. And read the comments. The comments are like so supportive. Like, isn't this beautiful? It's not beautiful. It's ridiculous. Also, if they were going to stick to the tradition, they wouldn't be wearing female pantsuits. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah, that's not part of it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
It went worldwide, like globally viral.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Pretty cool. Yeah. All right.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Excuse me. The special, The Last Cowboy in L.A. Yes. Is available on YouTube right now. Please check it out. And people can get tickets at jeffdye.com. Yeah. I'm going to be all over.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
And welcome to Texas soon. I'm always touring. Yeah, I'm moving here. Yeah, dog. I'm very excited. It's very exciting. I love it here. Awesome. I love you guys' show. We'll come back.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Thanks for having me on. My mom's moving here too, so maybe you guys can become good friends. I'd like that. Yeah, is she cool? Very cool. She's fast. You'll be into it then. All right. Thank you for coming. Thank you guys for watching. Thank you. We'll see you next week.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I'm pissed the fuck off right now, man. This letter was not orange when I bought it. It was not orange when I bought this motherfucker. If this was the real lighter thing,
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
So if you're into Bass Pro Shop, fish style fishing and all that, he's one of the big stars.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
This episode of your mom's house podcast was brought to you by Rogue. Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
He's super legit, yeah. He's got some new merch. I'm just trying to help him plug his merch.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah. He's a pro, man. I didn't know that. That guy can really fish.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah, if you like fishing, watching fishing, that's your guy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Yeah. And it's still the holiday season. If you want to rush, you can, you know.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
What's up, everybody? It's Tom Segura.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Get your merch. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Merry Jeansmas to you. It's my favorite time of year.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I love Christmas. It's my favorite one.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
I don't want to do this.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Okay. Well, thanks for that. You got it. There's a... Yeah, there's Tom with his little Christmas cheer.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
That's totally what you look like.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
A sad dog. I'm a sad dog, everybody.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
There's a new controversy. I don't know if you're aware of this.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
What's that? I guess I did a bumper that played on a bunch of episodes. Yeah. And everybody is saying that I misspoke in this. And they're really coming down on me hard. Would you like to see it?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Of course. What's up, everybody?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
What's everybody? No.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
It's what's up, everybody. What's up, everybody?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
If you're retarded.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
do you look like a latin mechanic and the reason is that i just finished finally wrapping up that television show it's the reason i had a shaved face and it's the reason i have this goddamn goatee um it looks so good on you i like it it reminds me of the 90s the 90s yeah the 90s were a good era you look good with it yeah i'm just letting everything else come back so
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
What's up, everybody?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
What's up, everybody?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
What's up, everybody?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Okay. Well, everybody is saying this. Okay. Forgot the up. What an RTD.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
That's maybe closer to what it was.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
The ghost of Larry King.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
You need to go to a doctor.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790
Mark Wahlberg. Yeah, that's where this is headed.