Bobbi Althoff

Oh. Weil es war die Tochter des Pastors. Oh, die Tochter des Pastors. Also sie waren beide jung.

Also mein Vater lebte sein ganzes Leben, denkend, er warte, um Kinder zu haben, aber wirklich, er hatte ein Kind, als er jünger war.

Wie alt war der Kind? 40 Jahre alt, als er meinen Vater kennengelernt hat. But he has kids. So my dad was taking all of the kids to Disneyland.

Yeah, now he is. My dad is 76.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He got the whole thing. He loves it too, because he became like, it was right before I had my first kid. So he became a grandpa to three kids. I mean, two kids really quickly. And I was like, so he took that title from my dad before I got to.

Oh yeah, my dad is so close with these, this whole thing. Over the last five years. Yeah, we go there. I went this last year, I took my kids to Hawaii and we all were in Hawaii for their birthdays.

No, they're like 10 years older.

It's amazing though.

Ja, und dann habe ich noch einen bekommen.

Ich und meine kleine Schwester, die auf dem Tor war. Und du bist hier geboren? Ja, wir lebten in Claremont, was ziemlich nahe hier ist.

geboren? Ja, meine Großmutter lebte in Pasadena ihr ganzes Leben. Und nach der Hochschule habe ich viel Zeit in ihrem Haus verbracht.

Ja.

Ja, das mache ich.

Now I am.

It's not too late.

I'm the same person.

No, you know what? You're right. I kind of stopped for a second. I think the thing is about comedy is I started more trying to be... in Comedy, and then I started to read way too many comments, read way too much about how much people hated this character of mine, and I tried to become too likable, I think, but that doesn't do as well as the character.

So I've recently gone back to the same character. So in the next season that's coming out the next year, we need to completely bring back the character and just have it be the old days, because that's how it does best. It's more fun doing it like that. So yeah, I'm going back to it.

My plan, I don't know. I think I had a crazy childhood as in I wanted to grow up so bad. I wanted to be... Crazy how? Just chaotic, never at peace.

Sie haben sich verabredet, als ich zehn war, aber sie lebten in demselben Haus, bis ich 16 war. Und sie haben sich immer verabredet. Und es war wirklich... Und es waren fünf Kinder da? Es waren nur ich und meine kleine Schwester damals. Meine älteren Brüder waren älter als ich. Also, als wir... Sind Sie familiar mit Paris, Kalifornien?

Okay. Okay. So, du wolltest ein guter Vater sein mit einer Wunsch? Ja, das ist, wie es mir aussehen würde, wenn ihr gute Eltern hättet. Wie geht es dir? Ich denke, ich bin eine gute Mutter. Das ist alles, was ich tue. Ich bin meistens eine Mutter und manchmal arbeite ich. Also, du wirst in diesem Chaos wachsen, aber du magst deine Eltern. I love them. They're different now than they were then.

They didn't know how to raise kids. My dad lacks patience very much. So he, like if we were bad and stuff, he didn't know how to handle things. So he wasn't gonna... I would beg my dad to ground me. Because I was like, can you have some just regular parenting rules? I want you to ground me. I want you to like... Ja. Ja. Ja. Ja. Ja. Es wurde immer aus seinem Printer geprintet.

Er kriegt einen für einen von den Autos, zahlt für einen oder er kriegt einen Freund, um einen zu bezahlen. Und dann kopiert er es auf Fotos und legt es einfach auf die Autos.

Ja, ja, weil wir es nicht bezahlen konnten, also wollte er nicht überholt werden. Also würde er das einfach machen. Und ich erinnere mich immer an das Fahrrad, wie mein, das ist illegal. Ich werde in Angst kommen. Oh, so, ich hatte so eine schlechte Angst. Mein ganzer, ich kann es nicht erinnern, keine Angst zu haben.

Yeah.

Yeah, and I'm a control freak. And a weirdo, but I'm very much a control freak.

Vigilantly. Yeah, I look around and I'm like, I want to be just in control of every little thing around me.

Yeah, a lot of anxiety. But you knew it. I always knew that he was, because my mom would always tell us, like, your dad just does this and this and this. And I would always be like, oh my gosh, he's going to, she'd be like, your dad could go to jail. And I'd be like, my dad's going to go to jail. Oh mein Gott. Ich bin drei Jahre älter als sie, ja.

Ja, weil du all den Gewicht genommen hast.

14?

Ja.

Yeah, I remember it. I had kind of like toyed with the idea for a little while before, but as in I would sit there and cry in my bathtub and be like, I'm going to do it. But I would never actually take steps to do it. I would just kind of think about it until I remember one day coming home from school and everything was just chaos. My parents were fighting.

Kids at school were just, they were high school students. I didn't fit in at my school at all. Why? Weil meine Mutter wollte nicht, dass wir in die Schulen gehen, also hat sie mich in die, wir haben einen Anruf von einem Mann benutzt, der in einer schöneren Nachbarschaft war.

Oh, ja.

Sieh, du hattest einen guten Grund. Meiner war so, dass ich eigentlich... Manchmal wünschte ich mir, dass ich in die andere Schule gehe, weil vielleicht würde ich mehr fit werden. Aber dann würde es auch wahrscheinlich nicht so gut aussehen, weil ich es wahrscheinlich hätte gemacht. Ich weiß nicht.

Ja, ich würde es wahrscheinlich machen. Also bin ich so, dankbar, glaube ich, dass meine Eltern mich in die... Aber ich... Weil alle Kinder middle class waren und ich nicht middle class war und ich... Sie haben dich für das verletzt? Ich denke, es war meistens in meinem Kopf. Ich wollte nicht, dass Leute zu meinem Haus kommen, weil es verarschend war.

I didn't... It was just embarrassing. Like, my house was falling apart. And it was really nice. My dad built our house. It was a very beautiful house at its prime. What did he do, your dad?

So he built our house.

No. Because it was falling apart.

No, because we couldn't afford to. He took out so many loans to build this house that he was just bad with money. It was like we had times with having money, but he was so bad with it that like it would go away. And we would, sometimes we'd have Disney passes and then sometimes we wouldn't because it was like he wouldn't pay that month and then we couldn't go.

He had this idea of us being this perfect middle class family, but it just never, yeah.

Yeah, I mean, I ended up just, like, I remember taking a lot of Tylenol. I took, like, one of the Costco ones and just kept taking them and taking them and taking them.

So I just ended up in the frickin' ER for two weeks. My mom woke me up, like, came in and was like, what? She saw the note, obviously. I had locked the door. She, like, broke into the room or something. Yeah. And then was like, what did you do? What did you do? And then dragged me to the hospital where they, like, I was in ICU for a week. It was

Nein, mein Blut war ziemlich verdammt. Aber was auch immer sie da gemacht haben, war alles in Ordnung. War dein Blut wieder zurückgekommen? Ja, das war immer ein großer Angst vor dem Weiterkommen. Ich musste mich limitieren. Okay, trink nicht zu viel. Aber es war wieder zurückgekommen. Also war alles in Ordnung. Deine Zahlen sind gut?

I was so angry and they made you feel so stupid in the hospital. Like, see, with what you tried, people don't end up dying. They just end up like quadriplegic. And I was like, you dumb bitches. I wanted to go and now you're making me feel like more bad that I didn't succeed. Like, you're just making me come back with a vengeance. I'm going to do it right next time.

I know, I was like, that sucks. But then because of that, my parents separated. They forced my parents to go not live together anymore.

The state? Yeah, yeah. No shit.

Something. Someone stepped in and I couldn't go.

Yeah, and I would have to go have meetings with CPS where my mom would be over my shoulder like, you tell them anything, they'll take them away. And I was like, okay. Also, wenn sie entschieden haben, es klingt, als ob sie bereit waren, sich sowieso zu brechen. Yeah, they didn't live. They were on separate sides. They were divorced. They were on completely separate sides of my dad's house.

No, she left. So she got an apartment. And you went with her? No, I went with her here. My mom only had a one-bedroom apartment.

Ja, aber das war, als ich 14 war und dann, als ich 18 war, bin ich rausgegangen. Also es waren vier Jahre, es war nicht zu lang.

It's always been there. Really? It's always there. It's not anymore.

I'm not grounded at all. Right. And the feelings that caused it never left. It just changed. Like to this day, the feelings are still there. I just get therapy to work through them more. But the feelings of... You're never going to be what you want to be, or you're never going to be the best at what you do, or you're never, like, you don't fit in here.

I've never really even looked into it. I just kind of lived this way. But you know what I mean? It makes sense, right? It does.

Yeah, like you'll never be as good as anybody else that does what you... So when you turn 18, where do you go? I got a job as a nanny. And then I... How did you... I used care.com to get a job as a nanny. And then I got... Well, first I was working at... I worked a bunch of jobs. I started working when I was 16. But when I was around 18, I knew I wanted to leave.

And my dad was like... At one point, he got really mad at me one day and was like, get out of my house. And I said, okay, bye. And that was it. And I left and I never looked back. I never moved back. I was gone. But you never got fucked up on drugs or anything. No, I've always just been aspiring to get rich. Instead I got fucked up on this need for success in life.

That's my advice, trying to succeed.

I try to. That's what I'm trying to do still. I'm still just trying to make it so that I can be proud of myself one day.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah. It made me... I was never jealous. I was just looking at them like, this is what I know is out there now. Like, I know you can be a happy family and have a nanny one day and do all of these things. And I wanted it so bad.

Yeah, I keep in touch with all of them. I worked for three families and I still keep in touch with them. I check in on their kids randomly because it was so nice going into somebody's house and seeing things that... Ja, genau. Yeah, and I loved it. They had three kids. One was a baby. I think I started when he was three months old. And then one was two and one was four.

And I did everything with those kids. I worked 70 hours a week at points because the parents were both working. It was amazing. And then one day they looked at me and they were like, we're moving to LA. And I said, they were like, so I'm so sorry. And I was like, I'll move with you. So I... Did you live in their house? No, I never lived in their house.

I went and found an apartment by them because I was like, I'm not losing this job.

That's how I got back to LA.

I haven't talked, I haven't seen the kids. I'll talk to their parents. The kids were so young, they don't remember. Ja, ja, ja. Sie ist mein, sie war der Beste. Ich trage ihr Kross, den sie jeden Tag hatte, um ihr eine Bilder von meiner Mama zu geben, als sie das draus war. Sie war das Stück in meinem Leben, das ich gehen würde. Und sie hat immer ihre Türen für mich geöffnet, wenn ich...

Whenever I wanted to. So when I was 18, I would kind of stay with her here and there. And for months, I would always have my own place, but I would come back to her. My last job before I got married, I lived with my grandma. So the job was in Marina del Rey, but her house is in Pasadena. So she would wake up with me every morning at 6 a.m., make breakfast with me. I'd make her eggs on toast.

She'd make me coffee. And we'd sit there at 6 a.m. every morning, have that. Then I would go. And then I got married.

Yes.

Yeah. And she was just, she always believed in me. And she, I was going to community college. And I thought that I would, I've always known, and my siblings all say this, that if anybody was going to be really successful, it would have been me. Because I had the one, like I was the only one who had the ambition for it. Yeah. Aber ich wusste nicht, dass ich erfolgreich sein würde.

Hattest du andere Pläne? Ich meine, hattest du Pläne? I was supposed to start and then I didn't.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It would have been.

I wish I finished it.

It's a little, yeah, it's out there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

I just, I applied to several UCs. That was the one that I got into. And I was like, all right, I'm going to go there.

No.

Yeah, I was so, having a kid was an attempt at stability, I thought.

No, before.

Yeah, well, we got pregnant before, but I wanted a baby.

Yeah, he's an incredible dad. My kids are on their way there right now. And he, to this day, is just, he's always, he didn't necessarily want to have kids when we got pregnant. Like, he was more of like, let's just... I was like, let's just try one time. He was like, okay. And then I got pregnant. And he was like, oh, fuck. Like, that was too fast. But you knew what you wanted.

Oh, I was like, I'm happy. He was like, oh, my God. And I was like, thank God, I'm having a baby.

I was 20. Yeah, yeah, 22 when I got pregnant.

No, COVID started during my pregnancy.

No, I started my podcast.

I started that right after I had my baby.

Yeah, yeah.

Being home and starting to do that. Definitely. I think also, like I said, I've always been searching for what I would... I was never gonna be just a stay-at-home mom. I think as much as I wanted to want that, because it was like I needed... You know what? It also comes back to being insecure, because I was insecure about my... A lot of the moms I would meet were working moms.

And I was like, I can't just be the only one that has no college degree, no anything. I felt so inferior. Even the moms who were stay-at-home moms, they had college degrees. They were all just dudes. They had...

Ja, ja. Und ich war so überrascht, Moms zu treffen, die in der Schule studiert waren.

Ja, sie waren immer mindestens zehn Jahre älter als ich. Und ich habe einfach... Hatten sie dich wie ein Kind behandelt? Ja, ich habe mich nie mit ihnen befasst. Und das geht zurück zu dem, wie ich mein ganzes Leben gefühlt habe. Aber ich fühlte mich nicht... Ja. Ja. Yeah, I've always had like a plan.

Yeah, so I, first before TikTok, when COVID started, I was like, they made a mask mandate. And my mom had just gifted me a sewing machine. And I was so pregnant, like I was eight months pregnant, I believe, somewhere around that.

Yes, and I was like... People are going to need masks. I'm going to make them. So I was like, I'm going to start a mask making company. So I started selling on Etsy masks. I learned how to make them and would go to Target and buy bed sheets.

No, I learned for this. And I got pretty good. My mom, the sewing machine she got me, would embroider pretty shitty embroidery, but it was there. So I would embroider... People's names. I sold them for like $22. I made $3,000 on masks, though. That's pretty good. It was so good. But I was going to turn that into something. An empire? But I was always doing little things.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, that was where I won. Because of COVID, I feel like everybody got very... They were just drowning in it. And I had always been so angry that I didn't catch the YouTube wave of success. So I was like...

Ja, ich kaufte, ich weiß nicht, ob du es weißt, aber jetzt wird es überall verkauft, aber die Canon G7X. Kamera? Ja. Also damals, als ich 16 war, kaufte ich diese Kamera. Und ich dachte, ich werde ein Vlogger werden.

Und ich würde versuchen, Videos zu drehen, aber ich würde nie, ich hätte nie, ich wäre immer zu Angst, Videos zu posten, weil ich dachte, oh, meine Kinder in der Schule werden das sehen und so.

Das selbe, was alle anderen machen, kleine Vlogs. Aber es funktionierte nicht. Als TikTok begann und ich sah, dass Leute geblasen wurden, dachte ich mir, du wirst das nicht verpassen. Ich habe mir gesagt, du kannst das nicht verpassen. Also postete ich so viel wie eine verrückte Person. Nach den Masken? Ja, ja, ja.

Yeah, because after the mask, I stopped the masks as soon as I gave birth because I was like, this is insane. Like, it hurts to freaking sew. And you're pregnant as well. Yeah, and I'm pregnant and I'm like, I was pulling all-nighters because these people were crazy about when they wanted their masks. They were like, I want, but I was also, I'm such a...

Und du hast wahrscheinlich ein bisschen Geld verdient, um das zu machen. No, just sleep. I was just going fast. Yeah, because they paid for their own shipping. So I was just losing sleep.

No, no, no. I think it was just under my name at the time. I don't know.

I would look at viral videos and be like, how do I get on a trend? What do I do? I watched a lot of, I had a kid, so I watched a lot of mommy vloggers. The first thing I tried was to get my sister to help do something. I said, Lexi... Oh, she's part of your team?

Yeah.

Yeah, just people would post how much money they would make on social media.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I knew that I needed to get followers to get brand deals. So I was like, how do I... I knew what I needed to do was become one of the people who's known on there. Not just have viral videos, but have people who follow you and who want more from you.

Ja, das hat nicht funktioniert. Dann habe ich... Ich weiß nicht, ich versuche mich zurückzudenken. Ich weiß nicht, ob ich immer sarkastisch war oder ob das so war. Ich musste es sein, weil mein erstes Video, das ich gemacht habe, war, ich hatte diesen viralen Trend gesehen, wo du sagst, dein Kindesnamen ist wie dein Name überspricht. Und dann war ich so, guck mal, meine Tochter, es ist iBob.

Und ich war so, aber dann habe ich wirklich hineingelegt, weil ich, ich habe immer sehr bewusst gewesen, wie dumm Menschen manchmal aussehen. Ja. So when people would believe things like that, I was like, they believe anything. So I was like, let me just believe things like what? Like my kid's name is eyeball. I was like, there's no way people could see this and think that it's real. But they did.

So I was like, oh, then I said her name was Richard.

And people were like, you would name your daughter Richard. And I was like, like I doubled down. And that's when the character was born. I was now. Mit deinen Kindern? Ja, so I was like, I'm taking Richard to get braces today because their two front teeth grew in and they're not straight and that pisses me off.

So, and people believed anything I put out there and it would go so viral, but what I was really gaining was the people who knew that I was kidding and were like in on it. Those were the people that followed me and have supported me through then.

Yeah, yeah. Of like, fuck her. It was going viral on like on the random little, you know, the little news things that were picking up stupid stories. It'd be like, mom names her daughter Richard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Und dann habe ich Parodien gemacht. Ich wurde nicht nur eine verdammte Mutter, ich war auch eine verdammte Frau. Also habe ich meinen Ex-Vorsitzenden, den ich damals hatte.

Er würde eine Part von diesem Verbrecher spielen. Und dann würde ich mir vorstellen, dass ich eine verdammte Hausfrau bin, die keine Ahnung hat. Es wurde auf TikTok viel Aufmerksamkeit, weil ich 40 Millionen Views auf ein paar Videos hatte.

Ja. Yeah, it was right when people started to grow on there, when it became really popular. Because it was right when COVID started.

In the beginning, I wasn't making crazy... I signed to an agency probably pretty quickly into it. And then I started to get brand deals.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like a management team. No, yeah, it was just around... TikTok und all that.

Yeah, just around TikTokers even.

Of course there is. Yeah, I was so blown away when I saw just how much money you could make from just TikTok. And then I was able to transfer my, I was like strategic in transferring followers over to Instagram.

Oh, right. No, we did some of those. Like when we started the podcast, we had like Adam and Eve sex toys and stuff. Was it a subscription?

Okay, ja, wo sie dir Boxen geben.

Ja.

Ja, ja, ja.

Ja, ja, ja.

So also you're making money on the TikTok Creator Fund and I've always made a lot of money on that because I've always had viral videos. How does that work? Per view you get. After a certain amount? No, once you get I think 10,000 followers you can apply to be in it and then it's like as long as back then it used to be any video, now it's over a minute.

So if you notice all of my videos are over a minute.

No, it's because you don't get paid unless the video is over a minute.

Yeah, so if I want to get paid, I have to make it over a minute. So all of my clips are always over a minute.

Yeah.

Just from that, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was, I remember... Und mein Vater auch, das ist so lustig. Ich erinnere mich an ihn, als er zu Beginn sagte, dass er meine Follower tracken würde. Ich erinnere mich, er würde sagen, du wirst einen Millionen bei dem Ende dieses Monats. Und ich war so, nein, Vater, das ist nicht so, wie es funktioniert. Ich werde nicht so schnell da sein.

Und ich habe es gemacht. Und er war so, sieh, ich habe es dir gesagt. Und er würde mich senden, jedes Mal, wenn ich 0.1, 0.2, 0.3, er würde mir einen Screenshot senden. Ich wäre so, du hast es gemacht, du hast es gemacht. Er hat endlich aufgeben, mir meine Stats zu senden. Ja, aber er ist stolz auf dich. Er war so stolz auf alles. Er ist es immer noch.

Er ist so stolz auf alles, was ich online mache. He loves to tell literally everyone that I'm his kid.

Yes. And your mom? Yeah, she's equally... I think no one's as proud of me as my sister.

The one out on the porch. Yeah. So she lives in, I have an ADU.

And she lives in it.

And in her house, she has like a shrine of all of my achievements. And every time I go somewhere or get invited to something, she keeps something from it and puts it to it. Oh, that's sweet. And she's just so, she's such a proud little sister. She's never cared to be in the spotlight. She just likes to like see me.

So, it's really hard to come up with content every day when you don't have someone else to do it with, you know, like if it's just me every day. And you have to do it every day. Yeah, you lose relevance fast. My goal was that every day I needed to post a video that hit a million views. And if I didn't, I'd fall so shitty. So I would try to... What, you'd just beat yourself up?

Oh, nein, ich würde nur weiter posten. Ich würde sagen, ich kann nicht schlafen, bis ich ein Video mit einem Millionen-Sendern bekommen muss. Und ich habe fast immer das Ziel erreicht. Ich musste einfach sagen, okay, das Video ist ein Flop. Versuche es wieder. Versuche es wieder.

Ich war so entscheidend jeden Tag für fast drei Jahre, dass ich ein Video bekommen musste, das jeden Tag einen Millionen-Sendern hat. Ich musste relevant bleiben. Auf TikTok? Ja. Also hast du es gemacht? Ja, ja, ich habe es gemacht.

I mean, it was just figuring out. You really don't know. It's like, even to this day, I don't know what's going to actually take off and get really, like, get a lot. Sometimes you can have an idea, but for the most part, you really never know. Some things can just, some things you can think are going to hit, and it just doesn't. But...

It could be so random. What is that?

Yeah, that'll happen to me too, where I'm like, okay, that's interesting. But then I'll post something that I'm like, this is definitely going to and it doesn't. And I'm like, okay, that's what. But there's like some science to it. Like there is some, like I know clickbaity things to do or ragey things to do to get people to pay attention. Yeah, yeah.

Wenn du etwas sagst in den ersten drei Sekunden, das sie bis zum Ende sehen lässt, wird das Video besser werden. Wenn ich sage, ich kann nicht glauben, dass meine Schwester das am Ende gemacht hat, oder wenn du eine kleine Vorstellung zeigst in den Anfang, dass etwas verrücktes passiert, sitzen sie durch und sehen das ganze Ding.

Yeah. And I kind of do that. I have to do it every time.

Yeah. And just get really.

Es war einfach so, dass ich größer werden musste. Und ich habe immer, also es gibt verschiedene Teile der Online-Fame, würde ich sagen, richtig? Es gibt, oh, sie ist ein TikToker. Dann gibt es ein paar Leute, die das durchbrechen und dann überall bekannt werden. Und dann sind sie jetzt, würde ich sagen, in die Celebrität. Wie?

So right before I ever took off was, there's Alex Earl, I don't know if you've heard of her. I remember watching her and being like, oh my god, she's like, she did it, she broke that threshold of like, now she's invited to like fashion shows and she's like, right, she gets into like, now you get into the next level.

Yeah, now you're really up there.

Yeah.

If that's what you're doing, right? Right. Because it's like she could have also, if she was like into acting and stuff, she could have broken out. Or like, you know, like Addison Rae, she broke out into acting. Yeah. Or Charli D'Amelio, I think she was on Broadway recently. Really? Yeah. So it's like there's different levels of like breaking out and then doing... Another thing.

Becoming bigger than just your TikTok platform.

Yeah, you're gonna just have to figure it out. You need to start trending. I knew, I was always getting views, but I wasn't the most popular thing and I knew I needed, I wanted so badly. I remember being like, I need to have my moment where I become so popular that I transform that.

No, I had no idea. I had no idea. And Ich wusste, dass es passieren würde, weil ich wusste, dass jedes Mal, wenn ich auf etwas aufstehe, es passieren wird. Aber ich wusste nicht, was mich dazu drücken würde. Ich wusste nur, dass es passieren würde. Ich würde nicht jemand sein, der einfach ein Mama-Vlogger online ist, weil das nicht, was ich wollte. Und das ist nicht, wofür ich mich befinden würde.

So I was getting very burnt out by just making videos every day that were kind of the same.

I would post like 20 times in a day and just delete them into one. Yeah. So I was just it was exhausting. I wanted a way to collaborate with people because anytime I would collaborate with other influencers, it would. Aber das ist der Zeitpunkt, nicht ein Videopodcast. Es ist eine Unterschied. Ja, ja.

Ja, sicher. Das ist, warum ich geboren wurde. Es war eine Parodie eines Podcasts. Und so begann es. Ich habe Leute gefreut, die einen Podcast hatten, weil ich dachte, das ist das dummste Ding. Für einen Moment. Meiner war wirklich eine Parodie. Ich hatte es nicht mal auf. Ich habe versucht, es nicht aufzunehmen. Ich wollte es nur Video sein.

Ich wollte es eine volle Parodie sein, weshalb es der wirklich gute Podcast war. Es war einfach ein verdammt dummer Name, den ich mir vorstellen konnte. Es war einfach eine Parodie eines Podcasts. Ich dachte, jeder hat einen Podcast. So I had listened a lot.

No, I didn't. I didn't want it to be. It became one. And it became like, I became, and I would say too, I've recently said like, I feel like when my podcast started to get less views, it was when it became into like, it started to turn into a real podcast. And it became so like, I was starting to do so many ad reads. So I was like, I remember having a talk with my team maybe a week ago where

I was like, I don't want this to be a real podcast anymore. I want to go back to when it's not a real podcast, because that's when I do best. And I don't do well as just a regular podcast host, because I'm not good at it.

I am. Well, I can do a conversation, but I need to be in a character. I also just don't... I don't know, it's like, you have to be, if you want your podcast to be what sustains you, you gotta be like in that, you gotta be doing all those ad reads, you gotta be like, I don't, I'm not, I don't have the, I wouldn't say work ethic, I guess I'm just not focused enough on it or I don't have enough...

Yeah. You do bits. How often do you put out an episode?

See, I couldn't do that. And that's where I was losing them. I was like, guys, I'm not doing this once a week. I'm doing it when it feels right to me. I want to do it when it's like, that's how it started. I do one whenever I found someone I wanted to do one with.

Yeah, and I don't have that in me.

Because it seems like you had the motivation, but you just... I think because I have... What I've learned from my podcast is that really where my goal is. I like comedy. And I think that when you start to become too... I don't know if it's palatable, but I was becoming too... Real.

Yeah, it was just becoming me talking like this in the episodes.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's when I, yeah. So, to take it back a little bit, I, throughout my whole pregnancy, throughout, however long the podcast has been out, I listened to, you know, Guy Raz's How I Built This. I listened to that religiously. I listened to that because I was like, you know, I've said, I want money, I want success. So I listened to this and I've always wanted to start a company.

I've always wanted to start something. But so when I started my podcast, I was like, I'm going to make it a parody of How I Built This.

weil Guy Raz eine tolle Unternehmerin ist, die ich nicht bin. Also habe ich angeschaut, wie er Leute interviewt. Und ich dachte, er macht viel Forschung. Ich gehe in das mit keinem Forschung. Ich gehe in das mit nichts. Und ursprünglich war es eigentlich so, dass du reich bist. Und ich werde einfach reiche Leute interviewen und herausfinden, wie sie da sind.

Aber ich dachte, das ist ein bisschen schwer, Guy Raz zu sein. Also lass mich einfach, wie die erste Agentur, mit der ich damals war, oder das war die zweite Agentur, aber sie waren wie, They accidentally sent me an e-mail thread of internal e-mails about my pilot episode that I had sent them, where they were like, she thinks this is going to do well. It was so mean.

And I was like, I'm not going to post this. This podcast is stupid. It was like, I was like, this is not going to work out. This sucks. And I wasn't going to, I think I sat on it for like a minute. I sat on my first episode for a minute. Then I was like, everyone in my life was like, post this. My ex-husband was like, I believe in this. It's

Rick Glassman war einer meiner ersten.

Ja, er war einer meiner ersten. Es war immer eine Stunde lang.

YouTube. Ich postete meistens Clips des langen.

So random. Well, my very first guest was someone named Colleen Ballinger. She was big on social media. And she had a Netflix special and stuff. But I had just DM'd her because I was friends with her. Then I want to say Rick was my second guest. And I had posted basically a thing where I was like...

Hey, I figured out that I couldn't pay for celebrities to come on, but I could guilt trip them in with money. And at the time, all I had to spare was $300. So I was like, if you comment on this video and you tag a celebrity and it leads to me successfully interviewing them, I'll pay you $300. So I think someone tagged Rick or something. Yeah. He was like, alright, I'll do it.

And I paid that person 300 bucks. Rick came in and did it with me. That one was only a 20-minute episode, but the clips did great. And then I kept doing that strategy until... $300 strategy? Yeah. And then I landed Funny Marco using the same strategy. Who's that guy? He's a comedian. He does social media. He blew up with pranks online and stuff. So I did his...

I interviewed him and that was the one right before I blew up. And that one definitely set me over. That one got so many views, our interview together. And then from that interview, I interviewed Drake. It was like Drake was mutuals with Marco.

And he got a kick out of it and he thought, I'll do it. Yeah, because he saw it's a fun way for people to figure out how they would react in that situation, I guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, then that one, obviously, that was my life changed.

Well, as soon as it filmed nothing, but it took a month probably to actually get it out from when we filmed it to when it actually saw.

No, because it just, it was the problem. Like I was working with, you know, Drake is Drake. And I was working with his team to make his team filmed it and everything. So between waiting for it to actually be ready to go and our first clip going live. I remember just, you know, you're sitting on something that's going to be seen by everyone. And you're like, oh, my God.

I remember just being like, this is crazy. I have this video.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

60 seconds, two minutes sometimes.

Yeah, because to this day, I don't mean like... You never show the whole hour? No, I do. I always do, but... Mein Team, mein Podcasting-Studio. Wer ist dein Team? Studio 71. Ich fokussiere mich nicht so sehr auf die ganze Stunde. Ich fokussiere mich immer noch auf meine Clips. Das ist mein Social-Media-Clip.

Yeah, as soon as the Drake episode, I signed with WME. As soon as the first clip went out, WME, I got a DM from someone there. So I signed to that agency. They helped me put it out. I was actually like, yeah, it's just a YouTube video. I don't really put it out as a podcast. And they were like, no, you have to put it out as a podcast. This is huge. This is your chart.

Yeah, you'll be up there. And it did for a second. I was like, okay, so I... Sie haben mir alles geholfen und es war wirklich großartig, wie sie alle zusammengekommen sind, um das Dreadi so schnell wie möglich zu bekommen, weil es nicht wirklich ein... Also sie haben sich einfach total adaptiert zu dem neuen Modell der Show-Business, welches du bist. Ja.

Das war im letzten Juli, also seit über einem Jahr.

Ich habe noch kein Haus gekauft. Ich rentiere ein Haus.

Yeah, I think I kept on it for a while. I kept doing the character for a long time.

It was probably recent that I stopped.

Aber ja, sie wurden auf YouTube gepostet und die YouTube-Videos funktionieren wirklich gut. Mit diesen Leuten? Ja, ich glaube, ich habe etwa 1,7 Millionen Follower auf YouTube und sie funktionieren gut. Sie werden immer noch ungefähr 300.000 bis 1.000.000 Views pro Episode erreichen.

Through YouTube?

It's pretty great.

I would say that I didn't so much try not to, I just started to care too much about, you know, because I told you that I built my career off of needing those comments that are like believing this, like, oh my gosh. Sure. Du gehst viral, wenn Leute denken, du bist einfach so. Und es war lustig. Es ist lustig, mit Leuten zu wackeln. Ja, es ist lustig, Leute zu wackeln. Es ist lustig, sie zu wackeln.

Aber dann werden Leute manchmal sagen, oh, guck, so und so kommt auf ihre Episode und wackelt sie. Ich weiß, als ich ein Episode mit Offset machte, hat er mich die ganze Zeit wackelt. Und ich liebte es. Und es war so toll. Und wir waren Freunde danach. Ja. Und alles war toll. Die Internet war so, sieh, er setzt sie und sie. Sie haben es so ernst genommen.

Und sie waren so, sieh, diese Leute sagen was. Und es ist so, als ob ich dieses Episode nicht selbst posten würde. Und ich würde nicht wählen, um diesen Gast zu haben. Und ich würde nicht da sitzen und dann, wie ich gesagt habe, das nehmen und dann posten. Warum würde ich es posten, wenn du mir wirklich dumm bist?

Wenn ich es wirklich, aber die Leute glauben, sie sind einfach online, sie sind so dumm. Sie glauben nichts. Yeah, and they believe things without even doing one second of thinking.

It really is. They can't think about things for more than two seconds. They have no, it's just like they see something, they react, they don't have any sort of deep thought process.

Because nobody listens to it.

For sure. It's just so stupid. It ruins... My mental health has always been bad because of social media. So it's funny that I came into a career where it's all on social media.

First of all, I was like, where did I even know what? So I get a lot of comments now being like, leave the fucking country, bitch. Like you said you were going to leave the country.

I was like, I've never said I was going to leave the country. I was like, I posted a Kamala thing and I guess he decided that I was going to leave the country because of that. But I was like, now I get people saying I'm going to, because he has the most... Lovely, die hard people online that will come for you. They come with a vengeance. I was like, guys, chill. It's okay.

Why do you care if I said that even?

Not at all. I don't understand how you can... I'm so careful about what I put online and what it'll result in. And I feel like a lot of people kind of just... Well, I think they want that result.

Oh, they do. Yeah.

Yes.

They're waiting for something to piss them off.

Yeah.

I don't know. I'm handling it. I mean, I think that I don't really care about that stuff too much. I think what I start to... So after the offset interview, I had a hard time staying in the character because I felt like I want people to know I'm nice. I want people to know I'm this real person. I want people to like me. Yeah.

Yeah, I'm like, just like me because I'm not... Like, this is a character. So I think that I started to lose the character because I was like... trying to become likable again. Like I wanted to show people like, oh, I'm a real person. I have feelings. And that didn't work. And it does well, but it's not doing what I need it to do.

It's not doing the crazy numbers it was doing because it's like I've lost that uniqueness. Now I've become like every other podcast that just has... Ja, und ich mache noch keine Forschung. Es ist kein guter Podcast. Es ist ein dreckiger Podcast, aber jetzt versuche ich es so hart. Es ist wirklich dreckig. Ja, jetzt ist es zu viel. Es ist zu real geworden.

Ich will zurückgehen zu dem, was lustig war, was Leute roastet und roastet. Ich will roastet werden. Es ist einfach so lustig. Wie lange hast du experimentiert, dich selbst zu sein? I experimented with pain myself for probably, I don't know, like maybe two seasons. Okay, what's a season in this world? Whenever I decide, I don't even know.

Just whenever I get bored of filming and I say that's enough.

Yeah, I don't know. But now I'm, and this one I kind of have done a little bit more. And now this next one I'm being very like mindful to keep into that. Even though it's sometimes hard.

Ja, ja, ja. Das ist die sehr... Ich hasse die verletzte Frau, die einfach sitzt da.

Ist es... Was meinst du? Ich habe es noch nicht angefangen.

Ich habe einen Episode gemacht und es war wirklich gut. Und ich war fürchtet, dass... People would think I was mean. And again, I need to stop reading comments. Everybody tells me this. Everyone who has a platform is like, stop reading comments. It's so bad for you.

Yeah, I need to separate myself and know like if they hate her, then it's not me. So it's fine. And it is what it is.

The pressure, no.

I think there's always going to be pressure unless I somehow magically cure all of my mental problems.

Yeah. No, it's never... I... I think a lot of people would look at me and be like, oh, you're doing well. And I don't look at myself like that at all. Like, I see myself as the same, like, slightly better than I was. Not at all where I need to be. I see myself still, I think...

Was lustig ist, ist, dass die Leute, viele der Dinge, die die Leute sagen, und ich denke, das ist der Grund, warum es mich hart schlägt, und das ist das, was ich über mich selbst glaube, wo sie einfach so sind. Und die Trolls sind gut daran. Ja, weil es ist so, ich glaube das.

Es ist so, sie ist was, ihre 15 Minuten sind auf und es ist so, ich bin so, sie werden zurückkommen, aber ich weiß es nicht, weil ich es nicht lasse. Es ist so, ich habe es erfolgreich, ich arbeite erfolgreich viele Leute. Ich weiß, dass ich weiß, was ich tue, ist gut zu tun. Und ich

And I do, yeah. And I've become good at my job. But there's so many bigger goals that I have. I really want to get into acting. And I know that when I set my mind onto that, it's something that I'm going to succeed at.

And how's that going? It's going well. I got to be a very tiny, tiny role in a movie. And it was really, that experience was so cool. It was such a small role and it was literally over. Like I was a Zoom character. But it was so much fun working with the director and having them tell me what to do. And just that experience of acting, I was like, I love this so much.

Oh, for sure. That was like my lowest paid day in all of my life. So much less. That I would, I love, I mean, I've really like come to love acting and I really, I would love to make that my next thing. So the podcast and then on the same note of the podcast, I would love to have like a talk show, like a...

Well, I'm now with UTA. But yeah, they're definitely working on a lot of different things. They know my goals and they know what I want to do.

I would love to. I hate being... I want someone to be my boss. I loved working in a house for parents. I like that. I don't have to... As much of a control freak I am, I like having a boss. I like having... Jemand, der sagt, vielleicht sollten wir es so machen.

Ja, wenn ich es hätte. Ja, ich bin sicher. Aber, weißt du, ich habe es gedacht, wie... Und ich bin sicher, das ist das, was passiert, wenn du anfängst, sogar in der Aktivität, richtig? Ich bin offensichtlich am niedrigsten. Du hast Leute, die sagen, ich meine, ich glaube, ich habe keinen Punkt, dass ich das nicht mache, aber ich habe den Direktor gesagt, mach das, mach das, mach das, mach das.

Ich liebe das Gefühl, dass ich gesagt habe, was ich tun soll und wie ich mich verbessern soll.

Yeah, right now I'm trying to, we're in the process of hiring a producer for myself. For what? For my podcast.

And I'm so excited to get one. I'm like, please, somebody help me.

Yeah, like even hiring a booker, we're going to hire like a... You're going to do live shows? Oh, you mean booking guests? No, but yeah, for booking guests, I really want... It's so hard to come up with that all on my own.

That's amazing, yeah. So much easier. Even Andrew Santino and Rick Lawson, I would have never known them if I hadn't... Comments hadn't connected me to them. I have a booker who's just... It's just him working on his own. But... I want a team that's actually going to be able to know what's trending or what's, you know.

Yeah, there's a lot going to change in this next year and I'm very ready for it to change.

It was great talking to you. Are you going to come on my podcast?

Oh, you changed your mind. Are you sponsored by Liquid Death or do you buy it?

Now you're just drinking them all.

Yeah, they're a lot. I'll tell Morgan.

No, I just, they asked me today, they were like, we should, but they were like, we're going to talk to him about it. I was like, oh, that would be great. I would love to have him on.

If you roast me, I'm going to do it. If you promise to roast me.

Yeah, just do that. Andrew Santino and Bobby Lee were amazing.

He is. He really is. I was like, oh my God. Was that my first time meeting him? I was like, oh my God. He's really good at it. He's so good. He's quick. He's quick with it.

Yeah, it's amazing. I love that for them.

He really is. I know, I felt bad, because I was beating up on Bobby during my episode with him. Everyone beats up on Bobby. I was like, that's what sometimes happens to me, too, is if I get a, like, sometimes I feel bad, because I have a guest that's so nice, that I'm like, oh my God.

And with Bobby, I was like, I had a hard time at points, like, being mean to him, because I was like, he's not, he's so nice.

Ja.

I know some people are, I think with, I have a lot of guests that are so excited to come in and get to roast me, because like we've done, we've watched all your episodes, we were like, we're gonna do such a good job, and it's just like funny, but yeah, it's also just like whatever happens, kind of happens. Okay, I'm game.

Alright, good talking to you. Thank you very much.

Nein, nein, nein. Es fühlt sich so cool an.

Ja.

Ich habe es nie.

Ich habe nie die Headphones.

Ja, ich mag es aber.

Nein.

Ja.

Let me tell you.

No! Okay, you know what? So many parts of this. I fucked up. I really thought that it was at 3. So I planned my whole day around it being at 3. And I was like, so my kid goes to her dad, both of my kids go to their dad on Wednesdays. Ja. Ja. Und dann gehen wir zurück nach Hause. Meine Assistent schickt einen Text zu meiner Schwester und fragt, ob wir auf dem Weg sind.

Sie fragt, ob wir auf dem Weg sind. Und sie sagt, Bobby, es beginnt um zwei Uhr. Wir gehen nicht nach Hause um zwei Uhr. Ich war so, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein. Ich war so, tschüss, Kinder, wir müssen gehen. Ich bin aus dem Haus gegangen. Ich konnte 11 Minuten schlafen. Also war ich so, okay, wir werden nicht so spät sein.

Ich habe die ganze 11 Minuten erneuert, weil ich die Tür verpasst habe. Ist es die 2, die du weg bist? Ja.

It does. High maintenance. They're so high maintenance. And they get very sad if the days that they go to their dads, because they go at five, they don't get to see me between school and then their dad. So I try to sneak in. So I got her out of school early to make it and I still messed up.

Yeah.

Das ist das schwerste Ding im ganzen Welt. Aber es schmerzt, wie viel ich meine Kinder liebe.

Das wäre es.

Ich hatte sie, als ich 22 war, als ich 24 war, als ich die zweite hatte.

Honestly, yes, but I was a nanny before and I've loved kids my whole life.

You can. You know what, though? I would dream about the parents letting me have overnights with them. I'd be like, if you guys want to go on a vacation, just let me take care of them. You can leave. Don't even charge me. Yeah. Das ist nie passiert. Ich habe mit meinem Kindesvater getreut, als ich 21 war. Und bei 22 bin ich verheiratet. Du hattest Kinder? Ja. Das war alles auf Grundlage.

Sie waren beide auf Grundlage.

Ich liebe es, eine Mutter zu sein. Es ist das Erstaunlichste. Ich denke, mein Leben wäre ein bisschen einfacher ohne sie. Aber ich liebe es. Ich möchte 20 mehr Kinder, wenn ich sie haben könnte.

I am one of six, but we have different dads, different moms spread through there, you know. No, I don't know. No? Never heard of that.

Oh, okay.

No, no, no. But my mom had a daycare in my house growing up for my first seven years of my life. And I think that really made me love babies.

Aber einige meiner Brüder verletzten ihre Kinder, aber einige von uns, es war nicht ein oder zwei Wege. Sie lieben es oder sie verletzten es.

Also, dein Vater hatte... Also, meine Mutter hatte drei Kinder, bevor sie meinen Vater kennengelernt hat.

Und dann hat mein Vater, letztlich, also in den letzten zehn Jahren, das Gefühl gefunden, dass er es tatsächlich hatte. Also, er dachte, als er meine Mutter kennengelernt hat, dachte sie, er hätte keine mehr Kinder.

We found out in the last 10 years through ancestry that he had a son 40 years, at the time it was 40 years ago.

Yeah, no kids.

Yeah, it was the pastor's, so I'll tell you, my aunt one day calls my dad and says, hey, does the last name blank ring a bell? And my dad goes, yeah, that was the daughter of the pastor that I used to, I mean, like it was the pastor's family of the church that I used to go to. And she said, okay, well, through ancestry, it's saying that he has, like he's been looking for his dad his whole life.

And it's saying he has a close relative in our family. And my dad goes, Oh, because he knew he slept with his mom.

She never told him or anything though. So once he turned in his adulthood, tried to look for his father and used ancestry, connected to my aunt and found my dad. And now I'm going to take my kids in December to go spend two weeks near his house.

Five years ago.

Es war total seltsam. Zuerst dachte ich, wer ist dieser Kerl? Jetzt mein Bruder. Ich war ziemlich verrückt zu Beginn, weil ich dachte, mein Vater... Also dein Vater hatte ein Verhältnis mit jemandem und hatte diese Kinder? Nein, das war vor meiner Mutter.