Bob Wheeler
Appearances
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
Well, one of the traps is I'll deal with it next week. I'll deal with it later. And so for me, even if it's uncomfortable, spend five minutes looking at your bank account. Now, if it's really traumatic for you, have some fun with it. I love humor, right? So open up that bank account online and go, hey, money. are you working for me today?
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
Bring your friends in, get your big friends, get the Ben Franklin's coming in, right? Start talking to your money because you're in relationship with your money. So have some fun, but don't spend a lot of time initially. And like, if you're in relationship, if you have a partner, you live with your parents, Set up a money date and just agree to talk about money for 10 minutes initially.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
15 minutes just to get it. Oh, this didn't kill me. This isn't so bad. So those are the first couple of things. Just dip your toes in. Look at the statement. I think a real big... piece of advice that's really super helpful. Pull out your credit card statements and your bank statements and go through and look for charges to see what you're charging on a monthly basis that you don't even use.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
And your phone bill.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
Listen, it's so crazy. I looked at my phone bill and I was paying for a free iPad. They told me it was free and I didn't look at my bill because it's the phone bill. And then I started looking. I'm like, why do I have six phone lines on my phone bill? Yeah. I had something tied to my car, you know, like it was crazy. Just because we like and that's for me, too. Right. Double checking. Wait.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
And I was also doing my own personal work on myself through Core Energetics and Radical Aliveness, which is a body-based somatic therapy, really like, where do we hold stuff? And For me, the money nerve sort of came out of, you know, if you win the lottery, you're like, ah, and you feel that excitement.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
Is everything going on? The other thing is don't let it sit. Looking at the bank statements, especially if you have a business, I had a client. She checks her books like every six months. There had been fraud. About $30,000 was taken out of her bank account.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
But because she waited five, six months after the fact, the bank's like, if you had said something within the first 60 days, we would have gotten you all that money back. But you waited a half a year.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
Look, credit's part of the system. You don't have to like the system. One of the reasons it's good to know the rules is so you can play the system. But credit's part of the system. And if you want to be able to get a house, unless you've got cash, which most people don't, if you want to be able to get a car, we're talking...
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
The difference of paying 5% or 9% potentially on a car or some item or on your house. And so now I would say personally that personal credit is a little more important than business credit.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
Because a lot of businesses, you personally have to guarantee it anyway. And so they're going to come and look at your personal credit. I used to work for a company that's incredibly, it went public and it's big now. But back in the day, they had like 12 employees. And the owner had to sign personally guaranteed for every one of them, even though they were making $10 million a year.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
And so I would say focus on your personal credit because that is the most important. Now, if you can avoid signing personal guarantees, I would also say avoid signing personal guarantees. Cause you're personally guaranteeing it. Um, you know, but credit, it is important to maintain it. Is it the end of the world?
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
If you don't have great credit, it's not, but you're going to, your money's going to go a little further when you've got that credit, when you're maintaining that, because it's sort of silly. You have to have money and good credit to be able to get more debt, right? Cause they want to know that you're responsible with it.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
Well, it plays a big part because most of us are real defensive when somebody's asking us questions about our money and about our choices. So for me, when I can tell a funny story, And the client sitting across from me goes, you're talking about me. Oh, was I? No, no, no. I was just, I was talking about this. They're like, ha ha ha. Right. But it, it lets our guard down.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
And if your check bounced, you're like, oh, your credit card is declined and you really feel it. And so it hits a nerve. And so to me, money nerve was the embodiment of how we hold our finances together. Within ourselves. And a lot of people are surprised that I tie money to emotions. They're like two plus two is four. But how do you feel about that? Right.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
And I also think we got to be able to laugh at ourselves. We can't take life so serious. Yeah, that was really dumb of me. What was I thinking? I wouldn't do it again. We got to be able to laugh at it instead of like, that's who I am for the rest of my life. It's defined me. One incident from 20 years ago never gets to... No, we're not going to get marked with the scarlet letter.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
We get to move on from it. And so you got to be able to laugh. And I just find it's a way to disarm and get people to really... not take everything so serious.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
So, you know, my bread and butter has always been accounting. Um, And ironically, I was I went to school to be a lawyer. I was just taking accounting to help my grade point because it was an easy class. Never thought I was going to be an accountant.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
And then I became an accountant and thought, well, I'm just going to do this until I can figure out what business to start and not realizing that I had already started my business. So that's that's been my bread and butter. I'm the CFO and COO of the Comedy Store in Los Angeles and in La Jolla. Um, so I get to work with a lot of amazing people.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
And that again was, I was doing comedy and Mitzi Shore called me up and she's like, you gotta help us out. I'm like, no, thank you. And 27 years later, uh, here I am. So that's been amazing, which also helped me to build my other businesses because they didn't have money at the time when I, when I jumped into help. Um, and then last year I launched a hero basics apparel brand.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
And for me, the concept is the world needs more heroes. How are you going to show up? And really promoting kindness and paying it forward and service. So Hero Basics was the newest thing. And I've written a couple of books. I'm writing, working on a couple more. And then I do workshops when people are feeling so inclined to explore their money nerve.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
And I do money coaching and counseling with individuals and couples.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
Yeah, the best way to find out about the workshops is going to themoneynerve.com. Not nerd, I'm a nerd, but it's themoneynerve.com. And And I've traveled internationally. I've done stuff in other states. And so sometimes people reach out and say, hey, I've got 10 people. We'd love to do a workshop and I'm off to Portland. And what we do in those, the workshops are more experiential.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
We touch on a whole lot of money stuff, but we actually go in and actually have experiences around it so that we can actually embody the stuff that we've been holding. And it's pretty profound experience.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
for people to discover that they've had a dream that they've suppressed or that they've been blaming their parents for something or they've been punishing themselves just to not let their parents praise them, right? It's amazing what we uncover when we're ready to Do the work, feel a little uncomfortable, and then learn to stay.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
Because one of the things that I think in this day and age, we're not taught how to stay in uncomfortable situations. We run the minute we hear something we don't like or a word triggers us. We have to learn to stay and say, you know what? I'm staying. I don't like this, but I'm going to work through it instead of avoid it.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
And really getting into the meat and potatoes about what's the underlying emotion. drive or decision making that's going on when we're dealing with our finances. I don't deserve. Other people deserve it better. I'm ashamed. I'm scared. And really starting to just welcome all that in without shame, without judgment, saying, oh, that's so interesting.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
I perform there on Monday nights in L.A. I go down to La Jolla Tuesdays and Thursdays. And then I do other clubs here and there just to have my creative outlet. All right. So I am in L.A.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
I'm one of the little people. I'm 5'4".
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
You have a right to have your voice. You have a right to have your financial security. And take the chance. Take the chance. Push through it. It's waiting for you. We all have a right to have our voice and have the opportunity to have the life we want. So go for it.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
Reach out. We love, we just love helping people find the resources to have the life they want.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
I really get shut down when I have to start talking about money.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
Absolutely. You know, a great example, when you split the bill with a group of friends. Do you pay? Do you split it evenly? I had the water. You had a salad. Let me pay for everything. I'm benevolent. We go through a whole series of internal questions when it's time to split the bill. You're so right, Bob.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
Yeah. So one of the biggest things, imposter syndrome, I don't deserve this. If people knew the truth about me, negating our experience, negating our education, like I don't, like I just got really lucky. It shouldn't be happening to me. There's, There's a lot of shame around our past financial choices. I should have known better if people knew the truth.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
You know, I was working with a couple of the other day and he's like, you must think I'm so stupid. And because I was asking questions, I don't know the answers. And so there's this, this embarrassment, like that we all should have learned everything when in fact, none, most of us weren't taught. by the schools, by our parents.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
It wasn't modeled that it's okay to talk about money and it's okay to set boundaries as to when and where you want to talk about money. That's amazing, dude.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. And, you know, that's the thing. Yeah. I remember when I had just was getting ready to sit for the CPA exam. I was staying with a friend. We went out to dinner. I wanted to appreciate him. So I I used the credit card to pay for dinner, declined. Second credit card, declined. Third credit card, declined. I'm like, let me write you a check. He's like, let me cover dinner.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
I'm like, no, let me write you a check. Bounce the check, right? I was just financially so tight thinking, oh, it'll just work out. but I'm not going to plan for it. And I didn't have a lot of financial literacy education. I'm not blaming anybody right here. It's just, that's the reality. And yes, I've had a couple of homes a few times.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
Every time I go through it, I'm like, they're going to deny me. I go through all these crazy, even though I've got the credit, I've got more than enough down payment. I've done all the right things. They're going to personally take me out. Right. Yeah. I go through the same drama and trauma that a lot of other people go through.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
I'm doing so great. I so appreciate you having me.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
So for me, money is just a doorway, right? To relationships, to beliefs about our parents, to the way we parent, to the way we, whatever we do. For me, money is one of those doorways where we think it's just about money, but it's really about a whole lot of other stuff.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
And for me, I was, for a very long period of my life, people used to say, when I started doing the work, you look like you're trapped in a box. I couldn't, I didn't have a voice. I was afraid to have my voice. I wanted to have a voice. I wanted to have impact. I wanted to let people know they mattered. I wanted to know that I mattered. And...
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
but i was paralyzed there's flight and there's fright and flight there's also freezes in the middle and i was frozen most of the time my life was fear-based everything that was going to happen was going to kill me and i literally thought this will kill me and as i started
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
doing my own work and realizing how many other people out there couldn't find their voice, didn't feel they were entitled to have their voice, didn't know how to get there.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
For me, money was one of those pieces that if I could start to have a healthier relationship with my money, not be a multi-billionaire, but to just be comfortable within my means and starting to appreciate, then I could start to actually show up fully and authentically and say, this is me. This is how I show up.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
You don't have to love it, but I'm not going to apologize for it as long as I'm coming out of kindness and service. This is me. This is how I'm going to show up and I'm going to have my voice. And even if it's shaking and even if I don't know all the answers, I'm still going to show up. because that's what I'm here to do. And that's what we're all here to do.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
Well, one of the interesting things that I've found is many people just go out and start a business. I'm going to start doing this thing. But they haven't checked in with anybody, and it may not have been their field. So if you're jumping into something, I want to open a coffee house and you've never worked in the coffee business, get some people around you that have.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
I was at this entrepreneur pitch down in Orange County and I was just talking to all these different entrepreneurs. One of the guys, he's like, I've been an engineer for 30 years. I know this inside and out. So when I moved into it, it was a no-brainer. It wasn't beyond his reach because it was his industry.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
Well, I appreciate that. It's been crazy, but L.A. has really come together and we will rebuild.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
So make sure if you don't know the industry that you've got people around you that can give you good, solid advice. And I think the other piece in business, when you're starting your own business, learning how to pivot, learning that... No, I got to go all the way. Yes. You want to show up and give it all your energy.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
But sometimes if the building's on fire, you need to turn left and, and, and go in a different direction. And I think so many entrepreneurs feel like, well, I've put so much money in and so much time in, I've got these sunk costs, uh, I can't let it go. And being able to just emotionally detach and say, yeah, that's not working. Yeah. Let me move a couple inches over this way or this way.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
Yeah. And for a couple of examples, I had a client who had started his own business. It was failing. He was given an opportunity to take a job with six figures, good six figures. And I said, man, if you take this job, you'll get vacations, you'll be able to pay off your debt and you'll have control of your life. And he said, I can't do that.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
My parents will be so ashamed of me if I don't make this business go. He ultimately lost the business and It was really about his parents' approval, which in the end, I'm sure they would have said, preserve yourself. Like, take care of yourself, right? And so I think we sometimes, whether it's shame or embarrassment or what will people say?
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
You know, I had another client started this whole business, education, got into it and said, this is too much work. I'm stopping. I don't know what I'm going to do, but I'm stopping. And then they just took a couple of years off and then relaunched in a different direction that served them much better and was a lot more authentic for them and a whole lot less stress.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
Well, the first thing that I, you know, there's a couple of things that I do before even jumping that. The first thing I do is sit down because I know I'm getting ready to do some thinking about how I want to move forward. And then I take a deep breath and just go. Let me arrive with myself for a minute.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
And then for me, and for some people, this will sound crazy, but I got to tell you, it's so important, is just start journaling. What do I want? Do I need to learn more? Do I need more education? Do I need an expert? Do I want to have retirement? What do I want? How do I want to show up financially? Because if I don't know that, I don't know, do I need to get more classes?
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
Do I need to find an expert? Do I need to find an accountability buddy that we can go through our numbers together? Do I need to create a budget? So for me, taking a breath and just getting to know myself for a minute and stopping all the distractions that are coming at me and just, what does Bob need in this moment? What's not, what do I feel is not working or what could be better?
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
What would I like to change? And all right. OK, great. So, oh, I probably need an expert for that. I might need to get some counseling. I might need to go to a credit bureau and have some conversations. And because there's a lot of great resources out there. So for me, that's where we start. And the other part.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
Yeah, absolutely. Well, you know, so I started a tax practice. I have about a thousand clients. And what I realized was a lot of my tax meetings turned into therapy sessions. And people were breaking down, crying, telling me, you're going to be so ashamed of me. And I realized... it's a common denominator, right? Money, fear, belief systems, stories, and things we learned as kids.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
The other thing that I really recommend to people, and this works in so many different situations, including diet, lifestyle, everything else. What, why, why, what? What, why, why, what? What do I want? Why do I want it? Why don't I have it? What am I willing to do to invite that into my life?
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
Because if I want a fancy car and the reason I want it is because it's shallow and it's flashy, I'm not going to judge that because that's the truth.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
Right. And if I know that that's the reason I want to look cool. Great. Now I'm going to there was a guy I knew that he wanted to look really cool, have fancy cars. So he used to go out and find half a million dollar cars for one hundred thousand dollars. Right. He would look for the deals.
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
Because that was important to him. And I'm not making a judgment here about what should or shouldn't be important to you. And it's important to say, why do I want it? And why don't I have it? Now, what am I willing to do? For some people, it's give up their integrity. I'm not willing to do that. But am I willing to work harder? Am I willing to change my mindset? Am I willing to ask for help?
Mick Unplugged
Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights
Am I willing to say, I don't know? Wow. That to me is a magic recipe for change. whether it's weight loss, whether it's medical situation, why am I not taking care of myself? What do I really want?