Bek Lover
Appearances
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
They're with us.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
The way I've done it. I think it's just more organic and it's not forced, man.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
so i started going out when i was 17 and the first nightclub i ever went into that i remember was exit this place was Today it's called Terminal 5. They do concerts in there. This place was massive. And this is when you had like, you know, the New York DJs were like local celebrities, man. You had people like Jonathan Peters, you know. You had, there's just so many of them.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
My brain's a little fried right now. I'm trying to wake up. No, you're good. What's his face? I want to give him a shout out because I know he follows me too. He's huge. You had all these amazing DJs, right? And in those days, people would walk into a nightclub. What year is this? We're talking the mid to late 90s. But I started going out in the late 90s.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
I caught the end of the megaclub era in New York City.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
Exactly. I caught that end. So I got to see these places. Sound Factory was crazy. So you would walk in Friday and literally come out Monday. It was insane. And people would just dance. It was all about dancing. And it was very organic. It was, you know, brother to be the Italians, the Albanians, the Russians, the Jew, everyone was in there, man.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
You know, you had, you know, alternate lifestyle people, right? You had the LGBT, if that's what they called them back then. They were in there. You had the club kids. And it was like, what I loved about it, man, it was like, it was the only environment at that time where everyone got along.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
yeah right that was the progressive trance day you'd have straight people dancing next to gabe like everyone just was there for the music for the art it was very organic man and it was addictive you know to you just felt like you were a part of this special family and the only thing that would change throughout the week you would pretty much see the same people it would just be the venue so you were just going out or were you promoting dorg what were you doing i didn't really promote in the beginning i was more of a socialite man my brother was the king man nikki god rest his soul
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
You look at my first episodes, you're like, but see, people don't understand that. You've got to take risks in life.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
So, you know, we went out and then I start college in the city. I went to Pace university. I'm a college kid, New York city. I don't have a campus, but New York city is my campus.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
So I started going out. He takes me to a very famous lounge called lot 61 and, And Lot 61 was on 21st Street in the West Side Highway. Terminal now? No, that was exit. Exit. This is now when the lounge era begins. Okay. So Amy Sacco, who's a legend, she actually had a place, I think, out here too. In Colorado, she had a place too.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
But she was the queen of nightlife, and she opens up this lounge called Lot 61. And then she also opened a very famous place called Bungalow 8, which was mentioned in many songs of hip-hop, if you listen to... the infamous Diddy. Monday night, we go to Bungalow 8. That's in one of his songs when they're singing about New York and nightlife. And I actually met Diddy at Lot 61.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
He had released an album called We Invented the Remix. And it was also Busta Rhymes' birthday. And this is when Busta Rhymes had his ponytail from his head all the way down to his ankles. And actually, coincidentally, the reason I ended up meeting him was this girl I knew was working for Jacob DeJeweler before he was like really famous. Like really, really famous.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
Like where he was like a household name. And she was like, hey, it's Tuesday. Like I heard you have juice at Last 61 because it was impossible to get in that place. And the manager was Albanian. Shout out Ben Noka. Shout out Ben. And shout out Mateus.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
I feel a little discriminated against.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
They do. Believe me, they give them preference. So we get to the front of this club, brother, and she's like, please, you got to get me in. I work for this guy named Jacob, and I got to hand out his cards. And So we go, I get to the door. You can't see the door, bro. Like I'd never seen a place like that. It was like completely, like every rapper on earth at that time.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
And this is like, in my opinion, the heyday of hip hop. Like when it became like real mainstream, right? And I walk in there. I'm the only white boy in there with a suit. And every rapper I ever, and this is before like Google. I couldn't like Google how someone looked or didn't look or whatever, you know? And I'm sitting next to Black Rob, God rest his soul. The guy that had the song, like, whoa.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
Like, remember that song?
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
I went through a very difficult time. I lost what I call my brother. Some people like to troll. It's sad. It's usually people that actually know me and know what I call my brother. It was my mom's brother. It was my uncle. He was 10 years older than me. If I was the prince of nightlife, he was the king of nightlife. And I lost him in 2013.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
I don't have a lot of money. I'm a college student. I just got a credit card. I max the credit card out. I buy champagne. Of course. Champagne was only $80 a bottle for Moet. Today, I cannot believe some clubs in New York charge $800 for a regular, not a Magnum, a regular bottle of Moet. I mean, that was Cristal pricing back in the day. And that's what they were drinking back then.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
You never even hear Cristal anymore, right? It's Don Cristal. I don't drink. I haven't drank in over a decade, but... It switched to tequila now, which is because in our day it was vodka, right? Everyone was pushing the vodka and hypnotic and all those crazy weird drinks. Make the story short, brother, because we have a lot to talk about. Puffy's dancing on the table. Everyone's in there.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
Every one of them are there. And I see this guy, Black Rob. I didn't know how he looked. I knew his song because it wasn't like I could just Google. This is before smartphones. And Puffy's dancing and he's like, you see that mother effer? I'm like, yeah. He's like, I hate that mother effer. I'm like, what do you mean? He's like, I can't make no money because of that mother.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
Those were his exact words, bro. And he just passed away, I think, like a year and a half ago. Irv Gotti just died. I used to play basketball with Irv Gotti. I think it was on Thursdays. They would go to Chelsea Piers. This is when Murder, Inc. was huge, with Ashante and Ja Rule. And I used to go there with a guy named Murder Murphy, who's now down in Miami.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
He seems to be friends with a lot of these big streamers now. He was briefly managing Tekashi. I haven't seen him in over 20-something years. He was actually shot... in front of me. That was when I was like, you know what? I think I'm done hanging out with the hip hop crowd. Us Albanians, we need to stay away from that type of stuff. So yeah, man, nightlife. Dude, I want to tell my story.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
Unfortunately, that genre, it does. It's because of the music, man. You don't see that type of violence in house music. You really don't.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
As soon as they got outside, yeah.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
Oh, that couldn't get in.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
They were like unicorn.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
I saw a lot of people go by the wayside in nightlife, right? So they let the excesses, you know, I lost friends who did heavy drugs, who drank. A lot of people died drunk driving. So for me, what really brought me in and what I loved about the nightlife as I started to get juice, right? You know, the power to get into these places. And I'm underage, brother.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
And even though I'd been through many horrible things in my life, right? Like I'm a first generation Albanian American, right? So I was born in the US. My family, you know, fought against communism in Albania. And it was the most isolated country in all of, not just Europe, the world at one point. Worse than North Korea today. No one was ever allowed in or out.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
I wasn't even of legal age when I was a socialite. But I looked older and I wore suits always. I wore suits since... literally high school, and they made fun of me in high school. I wore a three-piece suit. Why do you always dress up so well? I said, because I might meet the president and I don't want to look like you. You don't know who you're going to meet today. And I was always dressed.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
I literally best dressed in the yearbook and voted most likely to have his own talk show. Well, I guess it came true.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
If this was out back then, my God.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
It was all talking, man. It was all business cards. You know, back then you couldn't even text really either. It was just trying to get someone's cell phone number and talking. Yeah. So, you know, there's a couple parts to this. I think it's important. I want to teach your audience something they need to do. If you're young, you don't realize it.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
Because in their minds, they think like, well, what can I offer? I have nothing to offer these people. How do I go talk to this big shot? You know, I don't know how to network. Because networking is everything. You know that. It can change everything. And the problem is when you're young, you might be meeting some of these people and you don't know what to offer them.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
You don't know how to entice them. You don't know how to even start a conversation with these people. And remember, these people at that level are being bombarded every five seconds. So the first thing is to not ask them for something, right? What can you offer them? And very quickly, right?
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
Or leveraging other connections you have because maybe you don't have something that's of interest to them, but you can figure out someone you know has something of interest to them. So the first thing is this. You should be talking to everybody. When you're under the age of 25, you are building your network. This device, your phone, has a place where you can write notes.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
I met Billy Bob at a bar at the Rich Carlton Hotel in Las Vegas, Nevada. Bill has two kids named John and Gene or whatever. He's in computer chips. You're not even in that industry. But 10 years from now, you might be. And now someone goes, hey man, I really need computer chips. 10 years from now, I need computer chips, man, I don't know.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
Let me see, you type in the word computer chip on your contacts, it'll pop up everyone in that industry. Now you can call them and say, hey man, do you make these type of chips? Now this is 10 years later. If you can store the data and have intention with what you're doing, because every second counts. And we don't learn this until we hit our 40s and we're like, oh my God, what did I do?
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
My greatest regret in life is how much time I wasted and not having intention. But if you can't figure out what you want to do, at least you can start building your network. It doesn't mean you have to use it now. That's always going to be there if you know how to build it and cater to it. So you type in those notes. Now you're taking 10% off of a deal of someone you met 10 years ago.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
That is your wealth. Your network can change your life in seconds. One move, one connection. So what I would always do is try to do some homework on who I'm trying to meet or target. And this is a lot easier to do today. You can Google someone in five seconds.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
You would have never had Dennis Rodman playing basketball. Like he went to North Korea or my friend, Wally Green, who went to play ping pong on an exhibition tour. Fascinating person. No one was allowed in or out for 50 years. My grandfather and my great grandfather, God rest his soul, fought to the last bullet. They didn't have no reinforcements, no nothing.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
You can literally read a whole synopsis of their life in seconds and then approach them and say, hey, man, you know how many times I've done that? Someone high profile. I never watched any of their crap. I Google, hey, man, I'm a big fan of boom, boom, boom. And by the way, I know you come to New York. And if you ever need anything in New York, I got this venue. They do this.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
He's like, actually, yeah, we throw parties once in a while. Brother, even if you don't, you just want to send someone from your entourage. It just depends who you're talking to and what might be of interest. to show him, wow, this guy's cool. He's not bothering me. He's not asking me for a picture. He's offering me something, you know? And then you deliver.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
I used to go out with Tracy Morgan a lot.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
The club's happy that they're there. Yeah. The bottles are put on the table. I delivered, they have a good time. That's like if we're talking about nightlife, but it doesn't have to be just nightlife, right?
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
Or if you want to be in nightlife, make a lot of friends that are girls. And take them out and you'll be paid to hang out with them. Which I think is a joke. I don't consider that promoting. And unfortunately, that's how a lot of New York operates and Vegas and Miami. To me, that's not promoting. You're not a promoter. When I used to throw an event, 2,000, 3,000 people would show up.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
I had no sub-promoters. That's promoting. There's videos online. You can go look at them all day. That, to me, is a promoter. Someone that brings money, my friend. Okay? Clubs paying to create image tables. I'm not saying that you did this and yours. I'm saying I know for a fact that this is how the system works. They pay, you know how you know you're a promoter table?
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
Atmosphere models or whatever? It's Frank Sinatra syndrome, man. Create the whole environment because you're creating an environment to lure in the whales because you know you're going to make it up on the whales. So if I give out $300 worth of bottles to get 100, 200 people to drink there, now I'm going to try to, I'm putting bait.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
I'm chumming the water to try to bing in the whales so I can bang them out for five bottles, 10 bottles.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
Image table.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
If you can... And I'm not using the word to control them, but if you can bring the women to your venue, that's all you need. Men will go to the same place every single night if they know they have a chance to meet a beautiful woman. That's what they're out for. They're out to drink and meet a woman and hopefully have a good ending to their night.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
You know, the communists were supplied by the Soviets and, you know, the, you know. The Iron Curtain. And unfortunately, my people were isolated from the world for a very long time. We have a very tragic history, our people. And I think some of that's embedded in our DNA as Albanian Americans. We're very pro-American. And that's before communism took over because America actually saved Albania.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
It was like a reverse.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
I agree. It doesn't matter. And a lot of these venues during that time weren't that nice. It was because all the beautiful women were going there. And then the celebrities want to go there. And then the rich people want to go there because they have the money to spend to get in there and they don't care. They want to be in the environment. And then Page Six writes about it.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
And that's all it really took. But as the real estate prices have increased in New York City, it's become extremely difficult to operate a successful nightclub in New York City. I don't know how you can. It's ridiculous, actually. And this generation, the bottle world, I think it's finally over. Is it going over? It's all because of the festivals.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
The other generation will go pound two cases of White Claws. Papa hit a Molly and then go to a festival at the Brooklyn Mirage.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
A lot of lives.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
Not my thing. He's not losing nothing. But I don't think he's unique. That doesn't mean you still can't go out and have fun. I know. And it doesn't mean you still can't go to these venues. I'm always sober. And I actually have more fun now. I'm like, man, these people. You sit there and watch the show, if you know what I mean.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
Okay, yeah, yeah, that. Cava, kratom tea is nice. You know, if you get not this powder crap, you get the actual leaf and you make a tea, it has a very calming effect. Blue lotus tea is awesome. And these things actually make you feel nice, but you don't lose cognition. You don't lose control of yourself. A lot of people can't handle alcohol and make fools of themselves, or they...
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
They hurt people. They hurt themselves, man. Alcoholism, like, listen, you've seen it. You're a nightlife. I don't have to tell you. Fights, women, they're sloppy. They're man. They, you know, they wouldn't have done it if they were sober. They were entertaining another man. Then a fight breaks out, you know, stuff like that happens.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
Like they're out of their mind. I'm out of my mind right now, bro. Trust me. I start, I relapsed into cigarette smoking after 12 years.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
We're going through a very stressful time. I lost 70 pounds. Good for you. I'm done. God willing, I'm getting very close. It's a hard habit. It is. Dude, nightlife, I'm with you. I used to do the same thing. And I love cigars. I should just go back to cigars. Yeah.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
Love cigars, man.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
Well, I don't drink alcohol, right? It's very hard to quit smoking cigarettes if you drink. Because they go together.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
Albanians, man, we're born in smoke.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
I've seen them smoking while they're pregnant over there, man. Not all of them, but in the villages, you know, they don't light a cigarette pregnant. Just going. Just going. That's the reason we got these big heads, you know.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
There's no quicker way, I think, in business, in relationships. If you can make some, well, there's two ways, right? I don't recommend this to amateurs. Make them laugh or make them cry. Either way, they will buy. It's learning how to use emotion and to pull it out of people also. I'm not saying to manipulate, but to just be real, man.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
If you can make someone laugh or feel your raw emotion, I'm just very straightforward. This is who I am. I've been through some hard things in my life. I'm not a piece of crap. I am a man of my word. And I have references. After a while, when you're building your network, and what's amazing, they can see who's connected to who. I can go to someone, and it starts to snowball.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
Why does this person follow? And it just starts snowballing, man. And then they're like, hey, you need a reference? Go talk to this person. You need a reference? Go ask them. Social proofing. Yeah, go ask them what kind of man I am. Do I keep my word or not? And I think it's so hard to find people like that, man, that actually keep their word, bro.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
It's so... Okay, to me, those people, you don't trade them for nothing. That's why I don't understand all the people that lost me in their life. not even because they didn't keep their word, but backstabbing for no reason. And that's when you start to understand that there's no logic to jealousy and envy. It's a very evil emotion, that there's no logic to it.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
People can be jealous of you, man, and you don't even know it. You know the thing that I kind of came to realize?
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
No, I'm talking about people you know, people you've helped, people that are part of your life when they ram a knife in your back. Dude, I look at it the same way. I could get it. I look at it the same way. I could get it if there was five or 10. Listen, I could understand- And I'm not saying it's right, but at least there's some logic to, hey, if I screw over Beck, I'm making $10 million on this.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
Let's just say, right? Okay, the greed got to them. Maybe they've never seen that kind of money. It changes their life. Okay, cool. But to the people that all you did was help and you never hurt them. But that's your perception. And you never betrayed them. Right. Dude, I'm with you. What I'm saying is, and then they burned the bridge.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
Ever since things have popped off, my phone, people have been trying to get in touch with me, haven't spoken to me in years. Why all of a sudden? Now you want to know me? Why? Because when you scroll left and right, you're seeing me everywhere. Hey, bud, I miss you. No, you don't miss me. You weren't there when my brother died. You didn't call to see if I was even alive.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
Okay, there's people I want. When their brothers died, I spent, I almost lost my job. One of my long-distance cousins lost his brother tragically. I almost got fired because I saw how bad he was hurting. And I was never even close with him like that. I was like, you know what? He needs someone. So I call out of work. I was working for Chase Bank at the time. This is 20-something years ago.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
Four days in a row I called out. I said, listen, you're about to lose your job. I said, well, fire me then. I don't care. It's a tragedy. I don't care. I was willing to lose my job to give emotional support to someone that's blood, distant, but still blood. Yeah. Same thing happens to me, he never even called me, man. He never even called to see how I'm doing or if I'm okay.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
And you know who you are if you watch this. So, but now they all wanna come and hang out, bro. You know, everything has a blessing, even the most tragic events in our life, once the dust settles. Because your heart's swollen, man, and you go through these dark times in your life, right? And they will come, I don't care who you are.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
It's only a matter of time before you lose something that you can't replace. Well, here's the thing.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
You can keep score. Sometimes it's hard when you're traumatized. I get it. You lose someone in a car accident, unexpected, brother. You weren't expecting the blow, right? It's a lot more dangerous in a fight when you're not looking and you get sucker punched. You can get killed like that. So when you know something bad might happen, it's different.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
But when it comes unexpected, sometimes these things happen to us. I believe the game board of life is rigged by the creator. You couldn't control to who you were born. No. Or when you were born. So to say, well, I have control of everything. No, you were inserted into this simulation that God created to test us on his terms. If I lived in Iraq or Syria, could I control the wars that broke out?
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
I could have been the most positive person in the world. That's why I don't believe in the law of attraction. I believe in positive thinking. I believe in trying to find some hope always. I love that train of thought. But to sit here and say that we always attract everything, some of that can be true, but not to the point where it's a universal law. You got to be careful and use the word law.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
If I was in Syria, I could have been the most positive person in the world. And the war starts and I lose everything. Or I'm in LA. My house, everything burned to the ground. My family died. I didn't start that fire. I didn't attract that fire. So what I'm saying is I believe the game board is rigged. How we respond...
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
See, these events that we have no control over is our salvation, is our free will.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
If someone's out there hurting, man, I just want them to know, like, listen, When you get hit, and I didn't think things would ever get better. When I lost Nikki, I didn't think I could ever live again, man. I really didn't. It took me years, brother, years. Everywhere was a memory. Everywhere was a place. Every song, every thing. It got so bad, I tried to move to Texas.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
I thought I could run away from the pain. I said, well, if I get out of New York, because he was the king of this city, I was just his sidekick. maybe it won't be as bad. I almost moved to Summerlin 10 years ago, 12 years ago, because he only died 13 years ago. And then I did go to San Antonio for three months and I realized I have to face my demons. I can't, I'm not going to get better.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
It doesn't matter where I am. And it held me back, man. Now that I'm through all that, I'm looking backwards and I'm going, my greatest regret besides losing him is the amount of time I lost not living and making my family's life better and my life better and people's lives better. And that's why I started my podcast. And the name of my podcast started as thecomebackteam.com.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
I do want to revamp it. Right now it's the Beck Lover Podcast because I do daily about news. A lot changed. But I'm relaunching that brand because I love it. And every show, I interviewed amazing people. Shout out to Tyler Sherman. He sent me some great guests. I've shared some great guests with him. Tyler's the best. And, you know, he called me one day.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
We got Rachel Ray on the show, and now I'm friends with Rachel Ray, man. I mean, if you would have told this to the Beck that thought life could never get better, sitting in a room crying myself to sleep every night, bro, for years. For years, brother. People talk about bad days. I had years of darkness. But the first thing I did when I lost my brother was never drink again.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
Because I knew from the nightlife, if I drank with a broken heart, I'm a dead man. So if you got trauma in your life and you keep numbing yourself, you need to face your demons. The reason you're drinking that bottle of alcohol, the reason you're taking that drug is because you don't have the courage to turn around and face those demons. You need help. Maybe I should have gone into therapy.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
I'm very spiritual. I pray, brother. I prayed five times a day. I'm a Muslim, you know, by choice. And I got through that darkness because I do believe that God has designed us to overcome these things. You know, we don't need anything. He designed us to be able to handle these things. And a lot of us, because we don't have that spiritual knowledge, that's why even the 12 steps in AA, right?
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
They talk about a higher power. It's actually a part of it, right? So... That spiritual guidance is really what got me through the darkest times in my life. I don't think I'd be here if I didn't be with God.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
I don't give a shit. When I started the podcast... Okay, I never went to school. I wish I would. You never know what you want to do when you're in college, right? I majored in finance and did the whole banking thing. I never liked it. And my whole life, everyone's telling me, what are you doing, man? You belong in front of a camera. People love you. You uplift people just on the street, strangers.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
Like I always have done this my whole life is try to inspire people literally to not give up. And it was crazy for me. I guess I had to go through the point where I felt like giving up, man. Because once you go through that, man, that darkness, you're a different person on the other side, man. It's crazy. So taking that pain and channeling it into the comeback team, there was no money coming in.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
If you look at the first few episodes, horrible, okay? And here we are five years later, billions of views. And I'm not saying it to be arrogant because even the people closest to me made fun of me. You're an old man now. What do you do? You have a midlife crisis. You're in your stupid podcast. Right? You look like an idiot. Right? And here I am now, brother.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
Just on the last day, over 10 million views, bro. It's crazy. And I'm talking across all platforms. I'm getting stopped. There's Jules. You can ask. I'm getting stopped everywhere I go. It's crazy. Like, it's insane, bro. Like, on planes. Already three times on planes. The Valley Park are freaking. I can't go anywhere. I can't walk out of a mosque anymore without being. And it's just crazy.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
And no one believed. Man, no one. No one. Even some of my people closest to me. No one believed in me, man. My girl did. You know, my son. He was going back and forth. He's like, no, dad, dad, no. He's like, dad, no, dad. He's like, dad, you're actually going to make it. I'm like, I can't believe you. I believe in you now. So it's like, I never did it for that.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
When I started the comeback team, every show would end with, and no matter what you've been through, no matter how bad it is, no matter how hopeless you may feel in this moment, as long as you still have air in your lungs, you can always make it. I'll come back.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
You know what kept me going? That was like a magical pipe. Shout out to Al, my producer, Al Pepich. You know what kept him going? Kept us going? What's that? After a couple of months, somehow, I'm talking about 100 views, bro. Like, no views, okay? Also, I mean, I did have some cosmic inspiration because I got to start my podcast with Arthur Nascarella. Shout out Arthur Nascarella.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
Played Carlo on The Sopranos. Famous actor. Yeah, I know he is. Tons of shows. He was on Billions. He was on Copland, right? And Arthur, I went from begging Arthur to just come on my show. So he co-hosted like 20 of my first episodes. So it just gave me such a boost of morale. I had no following, no nothing. I was like, I've already made it, man. And...
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
What really made me go was when I get my first email, first message. There was a woman who was about to lose her eyesight and she had like six more months to see. And she's like, I heard your episode. I had an amazing woman on my show named Silk. Silk is a survivor of domestic violence. She was beaten to the point where she's blind.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
So I was interviewing her about her life and how she's reinvented life and all that. She's an amazing human being, bro. Like you got to get her on your show. And Silk, I'm coming for you. I promise you when I get this next bag, I'm coming for you still. Because that's my dream, man. People go, what's your dream? Drive Ferrari. No, I want to walk into a refugee camp.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
Second, third, fourth, fifth generation Americans. do not realize the gift and the opportunity that they have. More importantly, they're falling into these traps of division, which have galvanized both the left and the right. And if we take the people out of it and just focus on the leaders of both sides in our country here in America, both have harmed this nation.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
somewhere in the world and say, you guys lost everything. And not for the cameras, brother, because that's not authentic. Sometimes you need the cameras to inspire others, though. You know what I mean? It's a fine line. To do the same. You want to make sure your intention is for God and not for your own arrogance. So you know what kept me going, brother? What's that?
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
She's like, I found out I'm going to be blind and I didn't want to live like that. So I got everything ready and I was going to take my own life. I heard your show. I heard your episode. I decided not to take my life because of you. And that just- Dude, if two people listen to that play. I said if I save one life.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
I was like, I'm not going. I'm not giving up. And then now it's thousands of people, bro. And then it evolved where instead of being the host, I go on a few shows, man, and then it just went crazy, bro. Like billions and billions, like literally billions of views. And I was at a very low point also at that time. I was being tried in my personal life. Everything was kind of going rough.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
And it's like so easy to give up at this point. It's so easy. Like, I don't got time for this podcast anymore. My whole world's on fire. But then there's that voice inside like, I'm not quitting, man. Like, I've already lost too much. Or as Eric Thomas would say, you're already going through pain. E.T., man. Get a reward for it, right? Shout out to Eric Thomas, man.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
I'll be on the stage with you soon, brother, because I have a story to tell the world. Brother, all of a sudden I'm at one of my lowest points. The phone starts like this. I'm like, what the hell's going on? Bro, you're everywhere, bro. I was like, what do you mean? Tyrese Gibson just posted you. Bella Hadid. Like, everybody, bro. Kevin Dainey, this one, that. I'm like, what the?
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
Five years of darkness, and in two seconds, it changed. That's how quickly it can. Just like that. And now they all want me on their show, and this one's following me. That one, and Tim Dillon's just fine. God, it's just crazy, man. And I went now like more of being a host. So like now I was like, no, we just want you on the show, man. But I miss the work, man.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
I miss having these inspirational stories. Like what you're kind of doing, right? To inspire other people, man. Because nothing helps you more than hearing people that have it worse than you. Okay, Eric Patrick Thomas, man, please one day, I'm gonna get him to Vegas, God willing, man. He can't move from the neck down, okay? He lives in Flint, Michigan, doesn't even have clean drinking water.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
He doesn't even have water to take a bath, bro. And I gave him my word, I'm gonna get him out of that place, bro. I'm gonna get him out of there, bro. I met him through the work I do, but I have never met a more positive human being. I am ashamed of myself when I'm ungrateful. When I think about what this man goes through every day of his life, I have all these blessings, bro.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
So that's what I'm saying. Like, you get inspired not only from the guests, but people, man, they need hope, man. And this guy, man, this guy's amazing, bro. He's in front of his house for no reason. A straight bullet hits him. He doesn't even have problems with anybody. He was no gangbanger, none of that stuff. Can't move from his neck down. And I got problems, bro. You got problems?
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
We don't have those problems. But I'm saying these stories inspire. He's the most positive human being you will ever meet in your life. And we got to help this guy, man. So that's why I want to relaunch. I still have my daily show. I want to relaunch that work now. Now that things are moving, I love doing it.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
Funny thing is I was born in Texas, but that's another story.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
Cause I make a promise. Sometimes I'm late.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
And as an Albanian, we keep our word no matter what, but for a real Albanian, bro, it's embedded in our, in our culture, brother. It's called Bessa. It means when an Albanian gives you their word, they will lose their life before they break it. And I was brought up with that ideology.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
And so when I give someone my word, the reason I'm emotional when I talk about Eric is I'm like, man, it's already been two years since I made this promise. I want to help this guy, man. And I'm going to. Because I love him. He's an amazing human being. Damon Johns helped him out a few times from Shark Tank. Shout out to Damon. I don't know him personally. But So you start this journey, right?
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
One side started war after war after war, The other ones continued. They didn't stop it either. They continued financing these conflicts all around the world that were not beneficial to the American people at all.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
I'm here today because of a decision I decided to make five years ago with no experience. No one believed it. I knew I had a gift, but I didn't know how to harness it yet, you know, to do it publicly. I have a little ADHD. I'm a little hyper at times, right? Which is good because I never heard my client selling me no. Because you need five no's before you get a yes.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
And, you know, just going through all of that, man. Look, I got to meet you, right? So that one decision... where I could have listened to everyone else around me, the critics out and in. Sometimes you're your own worst enemy. Instead, I said, no, man, no matter what, I'm going to do it.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
And I had just lost a lot of money in a construction company, and I took the little money I had left and threw it all into equipment, and I was like, we're going to do this. We're going to make it happen. Here we are.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
You're not. It's just, you know, some people get lucky their first shot around, but... So, yeah, man, I mean, so... Do you want to talk some sales stuff? Yeah, let's talk sales. So I started in the industry that you're in, 18 years old, cut my teeth in sales in commercial leasing in midtown Manhattan. One of the most competitive markets in the world.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
And I'm working for a boutique firm on 8th Avenue, which is not a desirable location on your business card. And I'm in what's considered the Garmin district, which used to be the epicenter of New York manufacturing. So we sold our country out and everything went overseas. It's at Bangladesh and India and all over the world. And I'm working for Al, who's my mom's first cousin.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
And he's older than me and I'm only 18 years old. What behind the ears don't know much about life or sales or anything. I have courage, but I don't have much more than that. And he's like, here's your job. I'm like, what's my job? He's like, you see all these buildings? He's like, yeah, you're gonna walk into that building today. You're gonna go to the top floor. You're gonna knock on the door.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
You're gonna walk in and say, hi, my name is Beck. I'm from Castle Rock Realty. We work with a lot of tenants, not only in the building, but in the area. You know, we can help you possibly find some space if you need to move. Basically, my objective was to try to find out when the release expires so we could build a database. Sure. And then try to follow up. I was terrified.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
As someone that walked out of underneath the World Trade Center Plaza on the day it was attacked and saw those buildings collapse in front of his eyes and then told by George Bush Jr., we're going to take out the Taliban. Here we are 24 years later. They're back in power. armed more than ever. We've been paying them. With our guns. Paying them billions of dollars.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
I'm going to walk into a building. I don't know anyone. I'm going to just go and try to meet the owner. I'm like, how am I going to do this? This is terrifying. He's like, kid, in those windows, you're not seeing GLAAD. There's money in there, man. Go get the money. It's in there.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
I go in, man, I got thrown out in five seconds the first time. I had no idea how to talk fast and have a personality and open up the conversation. I had no experience. That's what I want people to understand. I didn't wake up and become a world-class speaker who has viral videos overnight. I didn't know what I was doing. I was scared.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
So the problem you have, if you are where you are in your life, is not because you don't know something. None of us knew. You didn't know what you know about real estate. 30 years ago what you do today? Can you compare yourself to that guy? No. So when are you going to have what you're lacking, my friend? You're lacking courage. You have to have some courage in your life.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
You got to sit there and say, I think it's more scary to not try than try, bro. I'd rather be the guy that tried everything and failed a million times than be a corporate serf the rest of my life, barely getting by, not living life on my terms.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
And I learned that lesson the hard way, getting to the top of the corporate world, making the money that people dream of making and being completely miserable to the point where I was going with ambulances once a week thinking I'm having heart attacks. It was panic attacks because I was miserable in the environment I was in. Because you weren't aligned with your true values.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
Because I was not living my purpose. Yeah. So I think the secret to all of this to young people is if you could figure out truly how The hardest thing in life is not to make it because you can make it financially and still not be happy, right? The key, in my opinion, is to figure out what you really want to do. So what does happiness mean for you? To be able to produce a living
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
doing something that you really love and are good at. And I think people don't take the cues that God gives them. I ignored my cues for a very long time, brother. Every single human being on earth has a gift that God gave them. Your gift might be that you make the best apple pie in the world, but you're thinking, I got to go onto Wall Street and learn all this stuff, and you idiot.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
Everyone keeps telling you, man, Jimmy, I really love your apple pie, Jimmy. Jimmy, can you make us one for the holidays? And everyone's begging you to make, hello, McFly. That's God telling you that's your gift. Listen to him. Everyone always told me, man, you have such a way of speaking. You inspire me. I knew this for years. I ignored my gift, man.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
I answered your prayer, but that's the way you thought.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
You didn't even try.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
So I think a lot of young people, they're scared. They're worried about too much what people think. They live in a world now where everything's under a microscope. They're living in a world where I call it the Easter bunny generation, the Easter bunny generation. So they feel a lot of FOMO and they feel insignificant because they're looking at everyone, you know, cropping their life perfectly.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
Forget just the arms that we have. The billions of dollars. So people on the right could say, well, what was the right that started that side? And again, I lean towards the right. Yeah. And then the left pushing ideology that's just against simple common sense, focusing on one microscope of this entire nation, which is that community that has like 50 different letters.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
So they feel like I'm behind my, you know, I'm not doing what my peers are doing. I'm a loser, you know, and subconsciously, right? These thoughts creep into their mind. And they don't realize that even those people, there's been times, brother, I've posted I'm in Aruba and everything's gorgeous and I'm in the room crying, brother. Like, you're not seeing everything that's going on in our lives.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
You need to remember this young generation. This is why they're the Easter Bunny generation. They are so beautiful because during Easter, right, you guys have the chocolates that are like hollow. You know, you grab the, you know, they sell them during that time. The eggs, they're hollow. That's why I call them the Easter Bunny generation. They're absolutely beautiful on the outside.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
But they're hollow on the inside. But they're empty on the inside. Hmm. And because they're watching their other friends and everyone doing that, they always feel empty themselves. because we weren't made to see everything that's going on all the time. You need to focus on what you're doing day by day, man. Don't worry about the noise. Your time will come, man. But you got to make a choice.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
You got to have some courage in your life and you got to be willing to take a little bit of pain. Otherwise, nothing's going to change in your life.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
And I'm guilty of it at times. I'm not going to lie. I'm guilty of it. So how do you reconcile with that? That's why I have a good woman next to me. She yells at me, you idiot, you moron. What are you doing? Are you going to wake up? Grab your phone. Go ahead, scroll. No, but do you feel that I have a safety mechanism? Because listen, it's addictive.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
Yes and no. How do you reconcile it? You know, at least I'm posting content that inspires, maybe teaches a lesson, gives a good message, where a lot of the other stuff is like ridiculous stuff, bro, that, you know, can be very negative, fights, all these things. There's a lot of garbage on there that's very harmful for you. And, you know, people looking at women and this and that.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
I don't like the exploitation, in my opinion, of... You know, stuff like Kanye West just did. Dude, that was so ridiculous. Ridiculous is not the word. It's like a mockery, man. And it's just disgusting. Like, you're that bad. You're one of the most famous people in the world. You need that much clout, bro? Like, really? Like, this is your wife. You love her.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
Like, you're letting everyone see what only your eyes should be seeing, man? Yeah. She loves it too. Don't worry. She's a cloud chaser too.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
And they don't realize it. They don't realize it. They really do not realize what they're allowing into everything.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
You can follow all the handles at B-E-K. That's B like boy, E like Edward, K like Kimberly. Beck, there's no C. Beck Lover, NYC on IG, TikTok, X, or becklover.com. Or you could watch the Beck Lover podcast anywhere podcasts are received.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
I got you. You're going to come back, man. Yeah, we'll come knock on another one. There's a lot we didn't talk about. All right, dude.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
I know, man. I got to get to the next one, too. Let's rock brother.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
And putting everyone into echo chambers and then saying this side is going to destroy this side and that side is going to destroy this side and divided our nation in half. Both sides are guilty for that. And we are sitting here on the precipice of one of the most critical issues
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
most dangerous times literally in American history where I've sensed that literally this nation could have erupted into open conflict like what you saw in Yugoslavia, which you've seen in other places where society collapses. People don't realize how fragile society is until it's not anymore.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
And that's what's scary as a first-generation American, as someone, I swear to God, was so proud to be American, man. Like when I would go to Europe, I would hold my head up high. And now I'm ashamed, bro.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
I'm embarrassed, not because of my fellow brothers and sisters, but because of these leaders that have used our name, have used our goodwill, have used our sweat to do things that not only hurt the world, but have hurt us as Americans. And we need to wake up, man. It's like every four years we have the choice between Coke or Pepsi and we're diabetic.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
Listen, I like a lot of what they're doing. I like a lot of what they're doing. I'm just talking in general up until this point. where we are today.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
I fully agree, number one. And number two, until we pay off our debt on top of that. But I have family that served in Iraq. Shout out to Brian, okay? He's like my brother. Brian from Dallas, two tours in Fallujah, Albanian-American, born and raised, right? We're very proud to be a part of American society, but we're not proud of the last 20 years, man. I'm ashamed, bro.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
We're worried about some of the most ridiculous things right now. You know? Why are we worried about half of... I'm not saying that a minority should not be heard or have rights. I'm not even... Like, I believe because we guarantee everyone the right to pursue happiness or whatever, that's great.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
And private matters, like your private parts and what you want to do with them should be a private matter. Why are you pushing this on children? People like Gavin Newsom. I'll call him out all day. You're worried about children in California chopping off their wee-wee. Why don't you worry about Skid Row? Why don't you worry about all the homeless? Why don't you worry about the fires?
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
Why don't you worry about having water in your hydrants? There's no excuse for that. The most taxed state. California is the most beautiful state in our nation. It's run like garbage. My heart aches for these people, but if they're going to keep electing that, I don't feel bad for them. I got to sit there and say, I really don't feel bad for you guys at all.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
But this is a person who shut your businesses down in 2019, who sat there and looked in the cameras and said, we were outdoors. While he kept people out of business while big box stores could stay in business, they ravaged our lives. The truth is out of the bag. Even the CIA is confirmed. Yes.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
So all of us crazy people that wear tinfoil hats, we're not looking so crazy, but you're looking really stupid right now. Those of you that just can't wake up, wake up.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
That's exactly what they do. They're hitting an emotional point, which is a sales tactic, right? Sure. Because emotion will override logic. Nine out of ten times.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
A lot. But the key is when you can find that emotional bond. Because when you're with a client who shows no emotion, the master will find. Because everyone has a bond, brother. Yeah. Everyone has a button. Whether you have a driver in the seat that you're trying to pitch or whatever, you got to find that. And that's always been my strategy. I always believe the sales made in the warm-up, bro.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
It's not in the presentation. It's not the product at all. It's never the product, in my opinion. It's never the product. It's finding what makes this person tick and how can I attach that to this product.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
And if you do it wrong, you're going to have a very, very angry customer.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
You're going to have a very angry customer.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
And the price you're asking is absurd.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
I'm in the process of liquidating a property in a very, very high desirable area. And I think my price is very fair, but it's not moving. So where am I going to have to drop the price, man?
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
What about if you get three offers, but they fall through an attorney review because either A, they didn't get financing. Should you stay at that price? Yeah, yeah. So if I got three offers at, let's say, 1.5. Stay where you are. and it's only been publicly on the market for a week. Be patient. Yeah, stay where you are. Don't move it. Because he dropped and you look desperate.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
No, no, don't move it. Leave where you are. So two offers were made privately, but they fell through. One, the attorney spooked them. I mean, it was full disclosure, but you said yes, and now you're worried about what your attorney says. It was a rent control property. It was nothing hidden from the prospective client. It was like, hey-
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
This is rent control, but there's some ways you can maneuver and do what you got to do. The right landlord is what to do. I did the same thing when I brought the property.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
My rents were $800 for a two bedroom in North New Jersey. You understand?
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
And I got them out. I got them all out legally. I got them out. And then guess what? I renovated and increased the rent by 50%. The new owner can do the same thing. These people don't have vision. Or they're trying to lowball. It's an investment property. It's not a place I live in or would live in.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
I think we're underpriced. But I think because of mortgage rates and how high they went, I should be getting much more, in my opinion. It's a four-family, brother, with two bonus units in the back. Yeah. That are not legal, but there's ways you can do things.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
You've been in real estate? No, it's for 20 years. I got in and out when I was young. That's how I actually started my career in sales. You know what's funny, man? In commercial leasing in midtown Manhattan, I had no idea what I was doing. I was terrified.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
Yeah.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
Yeah?
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
Yeah, that's right, when it took off. Because even in New York City, it changed. It was massive nightclubs like Sound Factory, Limelight Tunnel. And then they all went down when Giuliani did his crackdown and cleaned up New York. Yeah. And Peter Gation was exiled to Canada. No, came to Atlanta and opened Limelight in Atlanta. I know, but he was forced out of America at one point completely.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
What's going on, brother? It's good to be out here in Vegas, Super Bowl weekend. Yeah, man. Nice to meet you. Beautiful office, man. Thank you. I appreciate that. Nice operation. Nice studio, man. I can tell you, you're serious about this. You're not some rinky-dink podcast or how I started. No. In the back of a room somewhere.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
He wasn't allowed to come back in. And then it went to the lounge era, which was instead of having 2,000 people in a club, you had 200, 300 people. But they got to pay their rent, right? So that's when bottle service. And also the drugs changed, right? People were doing ecstasy where you wouldn't mix it with alcohol.
Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Resilience and Networking: Bek Lover's Journey from Finance to Podcasting Success
So if you go look at the videos of nightlife back then, that's why they charged you $100 to get in. Yep. and you'd pop your pill and stay up for three days dancing and drinking water and hopefully don't fall into a K-hole. I thank God never got involved in narcotics. That's why I lasted as long as I did in nightlife. I did used to drink and I was a pretty heavy drinker.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
What I regret the most about losing my brother, for example, wasn't just the loss of him. When I look back now, it's like, oh my God, I lost three years. Three years of my life in sorrow. Yeah.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
And I couldn't picture a life without this guy anymore because he was so important to me. Yeah. And helped me shape a lot of my identity. He gave me a lot. He's the one that always told me, what are you doing, man? People love you. You're wasting your talent. Why are you working? Go into Hollywood. I said, I only want to be an actor. He's like, dude, you belong in front of a camera. Yeah.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
What are you doing? People love you. You inspire people. You make them laugh. People love you, man. Yeah. And then, you know, losing him in, it just, it was devastating, brother. You know? So walk us through the steps of moving. So I was at work. Yeah. So, you know, I'm going to work in the morning. I take the ferry into the city. There's traffic in my town. There's never traffic like that.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
I'm like, what's going on? Somebody died on River Road. I'm like, who the hell dies on River Road? Make the story short. I'm going around my own brother, not even realizing it's him. That's him. Damn. I get to work. And at this time, I worked for Hilton in the biggest hotel in New York, the Hilton on 54th or whatever it is, right here on 6th Avenue.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
That's where Trump, the first time he won, he held his acceptance speech there. So I get up to the penthouse because that's where they would sell the units. And I get up there and then I see all my family calling me. At the same time, I'm like, this is not good. Something bad is happening. The fact that my aunts are all calling me, they never even call me, something's wrong.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
So I pick up, they're like, get to your uncle's house right now. I'm like, what do you mean? Like, just get to his house now. I'm like, can you tell me why? They're like, I don't want to tell you over the phone. I'm like, okay, so I already know someone's dead. I'm praying at the time, it's my grandmother maybe, you know? But in my heart, I'm like, it's probably him, man. It can't be him.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
Make the story short, man. I'm like... I don't know where I'm going. I get downstairs. I'm trying to hail a cab. This is like before Uber really took over. And I make it back. And I'm in the cab. And then my other cousin calls me and says, hey, man, Nicky's gone. I said, dude, I just went crazy. Punching the roof nuts. The poor cab guy, man. He's like, brother, are you okay?
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
I said, nah, man, I'm not. I said, I'm sorry, man. Just get me to the ferry, man. And I went back home. Years, Nicky. You know, people go through a hard time in life. And I understand sometimes it's weeks, sometimes it's months, sometimes it's years. Brother, for you, sister, for you, it might be decades. But you never give up, man. You can't.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
And to say that I didn't feel like I had in some ways, I did. I felt like I did. I'm inside of a man cave. I was never an introvert. During this time period, I became fully introverted. It's crazy. It's like the complete opposite of who I am. That's how you know something's wrong with Beck. This is a guy who will talk to anybody, anywhere, anytime, and now he doesn't even want to talk.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
And now, let alone, I got to go sell timeshare. And I used emotion as a weapon in sales.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
And now I'm like, I go from being one of the top sales reps to I'm about to lose my job. I'm literally 90 days in. Because you get three months in that. They give you three months to pick up. And everyone felt bad. Everyone knew what had happened. They're like, this rock star. It's like, you know.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
My manager just felt bad. Everyone felt bad for me. And they're like, shit, man. We're going to lose him. We're going to lose Cleo. We're going to lose him. And I'm on my last knees, man. And I remember that time, man. It was... It was rough, bro. Wow. It was rough. I couldn't control the emotion. Yeah. So where I would try to get it out of my clients, it was... Mind was coming out too much.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
I'm the one crying on the table. I would make them... Listen, in hard sales, I'm sorry. Make them laugh. Make them cry. Either way, they will buy. The problem was I was the one crying. So... It was crazy, man. And then, you know, something kind of came over me, man. I heard him, his voice. He's like, don't, he always told me, never give up. I, the tiger. He would always say that to me.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
I, the tiger, Nicky. I'm looking at my kids' pictures and I don't know what happens, brother, but I go on a freaking rampage, bro. I broke like a sick record that month. So I'm on like final warning about to be fired. So like I sold a half a million dollars that month. I made like 50 racks. I saved my job. And I came back out of the abyss. But I wasn't healed yet.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
But at least I had gotten back to the point where I could work. There was something therapeutic about work. I think a lot of times when people go through tragedy, they go into isolation. I think that's where you become devastated. It's okay to pull back for a little bit, but for not too long. Because if you do... you can go into a very dark hole and it might be very hard to come back up.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
And I know because I kind of did that. So I think having the routine after tragedy, you know, as hard as it is to go to work and, you know, friends, like let your friends talk to you, man. You know, you need people, man. We're social creatures. That isolation destroys us, man.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
You know, even these podcasts, you know, like what you're doing right now, there might be one person listening to this right now that changes their life, Mickey. And the impact, you know, and I'm sure you get messages all the time. To me, that's what kept me going throughout all of this. Always the thought of, I can't give up. So many people before me didn't give up.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
My family, I saw them after the war. They lost everything. People died. They didn't give up. How am I going to give up over this? How can I be the one that gives up? My grandfather, great-grandfather did 28 years in a communist prison. He didn't give up. How am I going to give up? Yeah. Like shame on me if I give up because we're going to die anyway. That's it.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
You listened to my episodes lately. You might turn it off and say this guy's out of his mind. But that's why I love you.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
And when you realize the great equalizer, like, hey, no matter what, we're all going to die.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
So wherever they are, I'm going and we might as well go out swinging. And then that kind of breath. You know, in faith, I do have faith in the creator. That breath is kind of what led to all of this, which is why we're here today.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
These things are going to happen, man. And you're not the only one going through them. And so many people have gone through them, are going through them, and will go through them. You're not here forever. You can't let this one or two events dictate the rest of your life. having a purpose for life, man, like really having a purpose.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
Like today when I, you know, came into the city, you could see it in people's faces, man. You know, there's two types of people that wake up in the morning. There's the ones that look miserable. They're like, man, you can see them at the bus stop. They're going to a job. that they don't want to go to. Then you have the ones that seem a little bit more alive, right?
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
You're talking about the comeback team? Absolutely. We're going to launch season two soon, man. I really miss that work. You know, speaking of podcasting, it's what brought me and you here. And when I started that show five years ago, almost six years ago,
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
And to me, I always said, those are the bosses, those are the workers. Having a purpose for your life. It's not just about money, Mick. For money, I would have stayed working in Timeshift the rest of my life. I made a great living there. I was not happy. So until you find a purpose for your life, and if you can't find it for yourself, then find a purpose for other people, man.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
Give some meaning to your life, man. So when I said earlier, like, my kids. So, yeah, I'm going through tragedy and trauma. So I put myself first. My kids need me. I got to get through this. You got to have a why, right?
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
Like the greats say, like Les Brown and Eric Thomas. Yeah. You got to have a why. What is your purpose, man? Is it just to make money and then that's it? Like, okay, maybe you don't have kids. Like whose life can you make better?
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
Because if you're not, you're being selfish and maybe that's part of the reason why you're having a hard time. That's it. Find a higher purpose, man. Life is so damn short. Fight for something, man. If you can't fight for yourself, fight for someone else. Exactly. It's kind of always been my approach with this type of stuff.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
So things have really transitioned in the last couple of years. So I never went into podcasting to really get political. It was actually the one subject matter that I was kind of avoiding. People would look at my content and I'm like, this guy's full of crap. No, go look at my first season of my podcast.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
Then something happened in 2019 where I kind of got galvanized because I didn't like what was going on. And I'm not, just for the record, not Republican or Democrat. I believe it's an illusion. If I was to be classified, yes, I'm someone that leads towards conservative values, family, and all that stuff, and business, and God, and blah, blah, blah.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
But I don't believe in ramming it down people's throats. Right. So I ended up going on the Danny Jones podcast, huge podcast. And I'm there to talk about just random stuff. And somehow religion came up. And I am Caucasian, but I'm of the Muslim faith. So I'm not stereotypically what you would classify and the ignorance that a lot of people have as what a Muslim would look like.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
They're usually someone with a huge beard and a turban around their head and they talk like this. So I've always, you know, I'm coming from an Albanian background and seeing what my family lived through during the occupation of Kosovo under the brutal Serbian regime, under Milosevic.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
at the age of 30 what am i minus seven so 37 years old i just walked away from a very lucrative career selling timeshare in new york city yeah and i wasn't happy in life i wasn't happy with the work i was doing i was happy with the money but i wasn't happy
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
And just knowing what it's like to see that and learning about it as an American, what happens to the African-American community here. I was always... like inspired by these people who would push back against that type of evil. You know, as a child, I watched the movie Gandhi like 20 times. You know, the movie Gandhi.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
And just these social injustices that have existed, I've always spoken out against, but just never really publicly like on the internet. I went to protest my whole life against the Bosnian war, what was going on with my people and stuff like that, right? Going on these shows, that came out of me. And it just broke the internet, brother. We're talking about billions of views. Yeah.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
And I was going through one of the darkest times of my life. Another personal thing that I won't get into. But it was another. Just because you went through one bad thing doesn't mean it's not going to come back again. Correct. Or something horrible is going to happen. Correct. Right? Because it's just a matter of time, right? Yep. And make the story short, my phone's vibrating one day.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
I'm at a really low point right now. This is like a few years ago. My phone's going like, I'm like, what the hell's going on? Bro, you're everywhere, bro. What do you mean? Tyrese Gibson just posted you. I'm like, Tyrese? There you go. Baby boy? Bella Hadid, this one, that one. I'm like, what the hell is going on? I couldn't believe it myself, man. This just went viral.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
Now it's at the point where I literally go outside and I swear to God I get stopped all the time. And I'm like, how? Mick Hunt got more followers than I do, man. Only got 130,000. There's people with my face and my name, I swear to God, online that have way more followers. Yeah. Just using my name, it's crazy. And I'm like, I got 30,000. This guy's got like 180, like on TikTok.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
I got 180,000 followers on TikTok. My name, all the content's mine. Why do I leave it up? Because he's clearly doing a better job of marketing me than I am. I swear to God. He's a better me than me. And he was respectful. He's like, sir, I am making money with your content. I said, good, you're doing better than I am. He goes, sir, I would like to give you half the money.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
I said, I don't want nothing. I said, the fact that you had respect and that you tagged my name, keep doing what you're doing. But there was one weirdo who was like literally trying to pretend like he's me. Like I gave him like, okay, you could post. But then I see him like, my friends were right on me, not knowing that it's not me. Same picture, just a Beck dot lover.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
Mine's Beck lover, his is Beck dot lover. They're like, I miss you. He's like, yeah, I miss you too. I said, listen, my man. I said, this is your first warning. I don't mind that you're doing what you're doing. But if you try to impersonate me or act like with people I know or even just people in general, we're going to have a problem. I'm going to strike the page. Okay, brother, I want this.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
Probably some guy from Pakistan or somewhere. I don't know. Of course. The way I'm picking on the Asians today. Mr. Humanist. But they know I love them. They know I love them. Beck loves all. Beck loves all. So, yeah, man. You know, that's the whole thing. Starting where we started from the beginning of this. Starting a podcast. Not realizing what was going to happen. Having no experience.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
personally yeah and uh when i started that show i really first of all i don't have any experience as a podcaster i had no experience in production i knew i could talk because to succeed in sales for 20 years you got to be able to talk right if you can't talk you're a starving salesperson yeah okay so i knew i had the ability to talk i knew i had the ability to connect with people and i said okay i know i have the skill that's important for podcasting the rest of the stuff
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
I had every reason not to. Family saying, you're stupid. What, are you going through a midlife crisis? Oh, you're making a fool of yourself. My mother, stop already. You're making a fool of us. Yeah. Okay? But you know what you want to do. There it is. I knew this 10 years ago.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
And what did I do? I'm living my life for everyone else except for me. I know the gift. God gives everyone a gift. Most of us either A, are too stupid to realize what it is. B, too scared to operate on it. Or C, don't believe, man. So basically... You know, there's someone out there that, you know, you're listening to this and you make the best apple pie on earth.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
And you don't realize that that was the game. It wasn't to be an amazing basketball player or a public speaker. It's that you literally make the best apple pie in the world. Babe, he's talking about you. Okay. My wife. And how does God tell you this? Everyone tells you, hey, you know, what's her name? Marcy. Marcy. Marcy, I love your apple pie. Please make us one.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
Marcy, for the holiday, can you make your pie? Hey, Marcy, my teacher is having a bake sale. Could you, you know, can we? And that's your clues, man. That's your gift. That if only you would realize that, hey, this is my gift. Everyone has a gift. Some people, they use their looks. It is a gift. I think it's a gift and a curse at the same time. But... I always knew I had a big mouth.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
Some of my teachers, if you look it up, it says in my yearbook, most likely to have his own talk show. I swear to God. They knew it in high school. Now imagine, they knew this in high school. And I didn't. Hell, we do.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
And so do a lot of you. You know what your gift is, but you're too scared to go after it. You don't have to quit your job. There's so many ways to get somewhere.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
You know? I can go with a plane. I can go with a boat. Right? It's the same thing in life. There's more than one way to get to the destination, but so many people just don't want to try, Mick. That's it. They don't want to try, brother. They don't want to try. They don't want to sacrifice watching soccer or football or whatever that's taking up Xbox. Yeah.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
And procrastination, man, is such a dream killer. That's my greatest regret now. Looking back at all of it, the tragedy, the success. What I regret the most about losing my brother, for example, wasn't just the loss of him. When I look back now, it's like, oh, my God. I lost three years. Three years of my life in sorrow. Someone gets divorced, it takes them five years to get back up.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
I get it, man. That heartache is serious to some people, man. Some people are just heartless. They don't feel sure. Okay, next. The greatest regret, if you're young and you're listening to Mick's show right now, the greatest regret you will have in this life, I promise you, two, three of them. One, it's not going after it. Taking that risk. Yep. Okay? I've failed so many times, man.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
I don't even care anymore. I'm like numb to it. I laugh now. I'm like, okay, next. I've lost construction. I've lost plenty of companies in my life. I've also succeeded. But what I'm saying is not taking the risk. not having the faith, because some of it you're going to have to go on faith.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
If I would have paid attention to what was happening in the beginning of my podcasting career, me and you would not be sitting here right now today. We would not have met this. Tyler in the other room wouldn't be here today. These relationships, I drove cross country. I met Rachel Ray. I'm going to her house in Italy. She's amazing.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
Just by knowing, hey, I think I have this gift, I'm going to take the risk. And everyone close to me It's telling me I'm stupid. You're making a fool of yourself. You're an idiot. You're this, you're that. Meanwhile, I have strangers from all over the world saying, you really changed my life. I mean, what you said to me caught me off guard.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
But I mean, those types of messages are what kept me going. Even though there was no recognition, no money, nothing. And that's why I never stopped. And I made a pact. I said, I will never stop. Because to save one life is as if you saved the whole world.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
I'm going to learn how to do it. And I launched the comeback team with nothing, man. Nothing. What gave me a little bit of morale in the beginning was the first season I went from it. This is where sales comes in. I'm telling anyone. I'm looking at the camera. I don't care if you don't want a career in sales. It is a skill you must learn in life. Absolutely.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
I got three myself too, man. And it's difficult, you know, because, I mean, I don't know. I mean, in most households, it's the, Daddy, I love you. Then the hormones start kicking in.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
Some bodily changes start happening. Yeah. Then it's the, I hate you, Dad. Yeah. We've all been there. And then it's the life is so busy. And then it's the, damn, what my dad went through. And, damn, what I put him through. You have the self-realization. And that, I think, only happens once you become a parent. Yep. I became very humble and mortal. I say I became mortal the day I became a father.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
I was never scared of anything. I was known as a nightlife guru, always out to four or five in the morning. I was always an amazing networker.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
And I think that's another thing that a lot of young people drop the ball on. Even though they have tools that we didn't have and maybe it's done more online now, but knowing how to store those resources, man. You meet these people. You get a business call. Okay, maybe you're nowhere near that industry. This is a little nugget for your audience.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
This is so important, okay, when it comes to networking. You've seen me. You see I know everybody. Absolutely. It's so important because you don't realize that you're 18, you're 19, you're 20, you're in college. You haven't figured out your life yet. Some people don't figure it out until their 40s, man. I mean, it is what it is. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
You have to learn because you're going to have a very mediocre life if you don't. And what do I mean by that? It's not about trying to sell someone and do a hard sale. And it's just really learning how to listen, which I struggle with at times, right? and how to connect with people. And that's really what sales is in essence, right?
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
Thank you. Thank you.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
Thank you. Thank you.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
Listening, understanding, looking for what they need might be on both sides. Like what do I need from this person? What do they need from me? And is there a way we can connect? I mean, that's sales in essence, right? To not learn this skill of how to ask the right questions, when to ask, when to speak. It's not like if me and you both got the same words in a word bank, right?
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
Let's say that we each got a hundred words and they're the same exact hundred words. It's like chess, we both get the same pieces, but how we play them can determine whether we're gonna succeed or not, or if you're gonna make the sale or not, or connect or not. Everybody's different. How they might react to words is different. Their humor is different, right?
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
So you could say one thing that 100 people find funny, but this one person takes offense to it. So, you know, when we're communicating, these are things that, you know, a salesperson, I think, with time, through baptism and fire, there's a lot of people I pissed off, brother.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
And not intentionally, you know? Especially in timeshifts, a very intimate... meeting where you're going back and forth and back and forth and and you know people can get angry man you know you're pushing them it's high pressure so you would be foolish not to learn how to know at least learn about the process of sales yeah it's life-changing wholeheartedly really is wholeheartedly
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
So I started the show and I convinced, I went from begging him to just come on the show to, he actually ended up co-hosting for the first season, was Arthur Nascarilla from The Sopranos. You've seen him in a lot of big movies. Copland with Stallone. He was in Billions, which I love that show, but I don't like how it fizzled out.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
You ever watch... I don't really watch a lot of TV. Yeah. But Billions was a show I loved because it kind of brought in the whole New York dynamic, politics, the corruption, the blurring of the lines. I thought it was a very, very well put together show.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
With Bobby Axwell and all that and then he disappears with the plane, right?
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
So Arthur was on a lot of these big shows and I met him smoking cigars and... Convinced him to come on and then he's like, okay, I kind of like this. And then 2019, everything closed. So nothing else was going on. So he stuck around for a while because they weren't shooting. So it was like, I truly believe this. Your destiny, yeah, there's free will. But some of it's written for you too.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
Meaning you got to take some steps, man. And then the rest, God opens the doors for you. There you go. But to hear what you told me, I can't even believe that you even... You got more followers than me, man. You know, how the hell did I inspire you?
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
I was a legend on there, so they threw me off.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
Well, Clubhouse, you know, I think they got theirs, though. You know, I got thrown off not because of what I was saying. Because I was allowing people to speak and have open conversation and push back what was happening in 2019, which I did not agree with the way they handled things.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
And I felt there was a lot of shady things going on, which I think time has, if anyone has half a brain, can see that something just wasn't right about the last five years of our lives. Whether it's New York. The fact that Governor Cuomo, no offense, I don't know if people support him. My best friend was just with him yesterday. would even entertain bringing this guy back.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
And I'm not here to get into politics. I hate it, but I also talk about it, but not on your show. I can't believe this guy's even running. Did we forget why he stepped down? Like, whatever. And did we forget about, whatever. Leave that on the side. So for me, you know, to hear that come out of your mouth, man, and that's actually what kept me going.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
And what's weird, Mick, is I went from being a host of my own show that was kind of like no one really knew. Yeah. to now I'm the guest that everybody wants on their show, man, which is crazy. And even my followers were like, bro, we don't care about your guests. And I've had some big guests, man. I've had Rachel Ray. I've had Carole Baskin of Tiger King. I'm talking about when the show popped.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
I was like one of the first interviews she ever did. I've had Havoc of Mob, Deep Legend of Hip Hop. I mean, I love the guy. And I go from... From doing these interviews till everyone's like, man, we don't care about the guests. We just want to hear you rant. I mean, you want to hear me?
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
They're like, yeah, we want to hear you, man. You inspire us. I'm like, and I start getting emails from people. Yeah. Because that, you know, my first podcast really was about trying to inspire people to never give up. Yeah. No matter what you've been through. I've been through a lot of, you know, listen, this is not a competition of who's had a more tragic life, right?
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
Eventually, I don't care who you are. that's coming knocking one day. You're gonna lose something that's irreplaceable. Someone you love, that's only a matter of time. A mom, a dad, a brother, God forbid, a friend, whatever it is. If you're going through a great time in your life, it's only a matter of time before the darkness comes, the sadness comes. And sometimes it catches us off guard.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
And a lot of people don't know how to handle it. And they don't know how to get back up. And what do they do? They turn towards ways of numbing the pain. It carries over into their work life. So speaking of time show, when I was doing it, it's a very intense job. You're doing two to three presentations a day. You got 90 minutes to convince some person who doesn't want to be there, okay?
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
We got the free room to go to the timeshare. The company has, in essence, bribed them to come and listen to you tell them why they need to spend between $30,000 and $120,000 in 90 minutes. Most people don't buy a car in that amount of time, okay? That they want and that they're willing to spend more money on to buy And what's the mindset of the customer in timeshare? Billboards on the way there.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
Do you own a timeshare? Are you looking to get rid of it? They put it on the radio. Do you own a timeshare? Are you trying to get out? Yeah, our timeshare sucked. And they had to be bribed, literally, made a really good offer to say, hey, you want to come spend two nights in New York City? We're only going to charge you $150 when the room rate's $700 or $500. Right.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
But you're going to have to come and listen to Beck for an hour and a half. Yeah. Okay. And they're coming in very standoffish, closed. Listen, I'm just going to tell you right now, whatever you say, whatever you do, we ain't buying. Those were the easiest ones. They were like shooting ducks in a barrel. Okay. Those clients would come in.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
I'm telling you, no matter what you say, no matter what you do, we're not buying nothing. I'm like, and I swear to God, Mick Hunt. I swear to God, I would say, sir. And about 90 minutes when you're signing the paperwork, you'd be like, damn, he was good.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
Now, there is a thin line, right? Pitching heat. Sizzling too much. Flat out line. And I've seen in the industry, and that's why the industry, it's really not the product's fault. The reason Timeshare has such a bad reputation out there is because of all the dishonest salespeople. Of misrepresenting what the product does just to get a sale.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
I'm happy in my entire career, and I worked for the big three, brother. I worked for Marriott, Hilton. Very short time period with Wyndham. And I'm happy that in my career that I did there, it wasn't long, about seven years in that world, never once did I have someone ever come back to me and say, you lied to us, or you did this, or a formal complaint.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
The only letter I ever got in my entire career in Timeshare was the guy wanted a two-bedroom And in New York City, the units operated like two bedrooms, but they weren't. They weren't, yeah. And I told them this, and they saw it, and they still purchased it, but he's like, no, I changed my mind. It's not Beck's fault. That was the worst letter I ever got in my career.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
And one of the most high-pressure environments you can be in.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
And as a salesperson in that world, the stress that a timeshare... This is what breaks a lot of them, brother. You're on a wheel, right? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And it's called value per guest. So... I see X amount of customers a month, I get a rank. And the higher my rank is, the more often I go out. The more often I go out, the more money I can make.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
So if I'm not closing, eventually I fall off the wheel. I'm dead. I'm done. I'm not earning a living. There's no salary. So it's a very intense process. So, you were considered good if you had like a value per guest. It means every time you shuck a hand, the company is making $3,000 to $4,000. That was considered good. Okay. I was averaging like $7,000 to $10,000, $12,000. Wow.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
$1,000 every time I shuck a hand. Wow. Okay. They didn't want me taking off. Right. But it came from being baptized out of fire also because what happened was I started with like 100 people. And within three months, there's only five of us left. Okay. That's how many people survive in that industry.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
Mick, nice to see you, brother.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
And... There's a lot of corruption in that game.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
The managers that control the industry because they have their team in there, their friends. They look at the new guys as expendable.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
So they would do a lot of feeding. So let's say a tour came in from Beverly Hills. And then one came in from Bangladesh. It's not the stereotype, but just the amount of money someone's going to have from Bangladesh or Albania where my family comes from compared to Beverly Hills is night and day. So Beverly Hills comes off the elevator.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
Welcome to the Big Apple. Long time coming. What's left of it. Long time coming, man. A couple of big bites got taken out of it the last four years, but we're trying to put it back together. We're going to put it back together.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
They would give it to the people that were already there long before me. Didn't matter how good I was. They were all boys. They were all in on it. And they were giving me tours that most people couldn't close. And I got angry. That's like the Albanian in me. I wanted revenge. I said, you think you guys are going to eliminate me? No, I'm going to outsell all of you. And that's what I did.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
I became unstoppable. Yes, sir. But the hardest part of my career wasn't that. It's that during that time period, I lost somebody.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
Having kids makes you a super person, I think. If you're not putting your kids first as a parent, there's something wrong with you. As down as I was, and I was down, man. So I lost what I call my brother. And there's sick people out there that tried to even attack me publicly saying, he wasn't your brother. He's not your brother. He's your mom's brother. Stupid. This guy raised me.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
My mom's brother was only 10 years older than me. He was like my older brother. He took me everywhere. He was like my mentor. He paid for everything. This guy took me everywhere. He gave me the name Beck Lover. I literally have this name because of him. May he rest in peace. He gave me this name making fun of me.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
Because I was into hip hop when I was younger and I was rocking the MC Hammer stuff, you know, the big pants. And he sees me and he's like, yo, yo, Beck Lover. And I like, I'm like, damn, I like, I swear to God, I was like 56 years old, I was like, I like the sound of that. So I was like, yeah, I saw some people call me Beck Lover. He literally gave me that name and then became a nickname.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
And now the world knows me by it. So I was very close to this person and I lost him suddenly in a car accident, right? At the age of, he was 42, I was only 31. Okay. And it was devastating. I had been through horrible things in my life. And I lost family in the Kosovo War in 1998. I lost about 28 people.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
Okay. Cousins and their cousins. And I spent every summer with them. And it was in the Republic of Kosovo, which at that time was a part of the former Yugoslavia, which erupted into war in the 90s. And you had Bosnia and Croatia and then Kosovo. And I lost a lot of people, man.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
So I know what it's like to get a phone call and find out 28 people that you love and care for, your family that you see every summer, is wiped out. And that's a devastating thing to go through. I was underneath the World Trade Center when it got hit, right, at the age of 19. I went to Pace University right here in downtown Manhattan.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
E train, last stop, World Trade Center. So I know what it's like to come out thinking the world's, you know, going into the subway and the world's normal. And you come out 15 minutes later and you're like, did I just go through a portal?
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
Like, did I just go through a time warp? Like, where the hell am I?
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
Because it's snowing outside, but it's September.
Mick Unplugged
Bek Lover: The Art of Never Giving Up and Inspiring a Generation
And it's not snow. And I'm looking up and I see people start jumping off buildings, right? So that's how my day started at the age of 19. So I've seen a few things in my life. But putting that all together... Losing Nicky for me was like an atomic bomb in my life. It was the most difficult thing I've had to deal with because of how close and how important he was to me.