Barry Sonnenfeld
👤 PersonAppearances Over Time
Podcast Appearances
Barry Sonnenfeld, call your mother.
Now, I know the only reason I'm being paged is because my father has died.
He hasn't.
My father has died, and I will spend the rest of my life living as an aging virgin with my mother.
OK.
Mom already threatened to commit suicide if I attended sleepaway school.
You guys call that college.
OK.
So I find a pay phone.
I call mom.
Who died?
I thought you did.
You were supposed to be home at 2, and it's 2.20.
But, Mom, didn't they tell you the concert was still going on?
Well, they did, but they couldn't confirm you were there.
Okay, so Jimmy, a tad annoyed by the PA announcement, walks off stage, never to return.
Eight months later, he was dead, and I blame my mother.
So let's talk about punctuality.
As far as I'm concerned, being early is being on time, being on time is actually late, and late gets you paged at Madison Square Garden.
OK, let's go to the next one, which is number four, which is don't work your way up the ladder.