Background Voice

What up, white people? How y'all doing? Yeah, y'all having fun? Have your fun now while there's still no black pickleball players. Because, I mean, I saw Jackie Robinson. I saw Tiger Woods. You guys are gonna be pissed when you see a black guy dunk a pickleball. And while we're on the topic of dunking, the WNBA. All those girls are, they can cross me over.

KILL TONY

#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON

5188.957

That doesn't mean I wanna watch them make a layup. I just think they'd have a lot more viewers if they started playing shirts versus skins. Like one rule, Brittany Griner's always gonna be on shirts. Tell that kid to put his titties away. I was thinking about this the other day.

KILL TONY

#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON

5221.348

All right, I was thinking about... Don't ask me why I was thinking about this. I might ask you why.

KILL TONY

#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON

5234.57

I mean, why are all dildos circumcised? It's...

KILL TONY

#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON

5257.024

I just finished jacking off. And I was looking and I was like, man, why is it circumcised? I was like, who owns Big Dildo? Like, is it the Jews?

KILL TONY

#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON

5281.51

Yeah, I've been on before.

KILL TONY

#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON

5285.652

I'm a mechanical designer. I make desks and shit. Okay. How long have you been doing stand-up? Probably about like a year and a half. Year and a half.

KILL TONY

#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON

5320.154

Yeah, white people just keep making new sports until black people get good at it. Right.

KILL TONY

#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON

5344.892

Yeah. You just started doing like fucking four square with a net and shit and like spike ball. You guys like spike ball? Yeah. You're Mexican, my bad.

KILL TONY

#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON

5374.057

Man, I've been going to baseball games. This dude recognized me from the show at the baseball game. Wow. He's just like, I'm getting a beer, and he's like, yo, hammock. I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? That was one of your jokes. No, it's, all right. Why would he call you hammock? We found out in the interview that I sleep in a hammock. That's right.

KILL TONY

#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON

5397.603

Yeah. Wow, you love it. Yeah. You love it. Yeah, I love it. I can't sleep any other way.

KILL TONY

#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON

5417.108

At this point, yeah. It's been too long. How long has it been? It's been like two years, I think. It's been... It's been like two years, still in there.

KILL TONY

#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON

5436.279

Yeah, actually, believe it or not, I go to the gym. And when I go to the gym, I lay down and, like, stretch my back. And every single time, I just lay flat. And I'm like, wow, this feels good.