Asil
Appearances
This American Life
861: Group Chat
Whenever something happens that upsets me, I blame him for not being here. I don't say that to him, but internally I blame him. You were not supposed to leave. You were supposed to stay here. It's like a psychological war between me and myself.
This American Life
861: Group Chat
I forgot to say happy new year I hope that next year no no this year yes this year we see you all I hope you'll be looking forward to seeing us and we'll be looking forward to seeing you and happy new year that's it
This American Life
861: Group Chat
I came back because I know I belong to this place. I wanted to come back. I want to fix up my place and live in it. I want to have my inner calm back.
This American Life
861: Group Chat
The house was blown out and there were no walls. There were only the support pillars, the ceiling and the floors. That's what was left. So I had to make a wall out of tarp. I covered the entire house with tarp and I'm trying to adapt.
This American Life
861: Group Chat
I still have a bit of a roof over my head, but my neighbors next door set up a tent on top of the rubble of their house. And it's the same with the neighbors all the way down the street. Those whose houses are still standing, they fixed them, and they live in them now.
This American Life
861: Group Chat
Yousef didn't know I was moving back. He only knew I was coming to check on the place and belongings and then go back south. But then I moved back and let him deal with my decision. I shocked him with that. He didn't approve of me going back north. Okay.
This American Life
861: Group Chat
He told me to wait a bit, take more time, be careful with my decision, and I told him no. I'm going to stay for a bit. I feel that I belong to this place and I need to stay here.
This American Life
861: Group Chat
What's available is rice, lentils, tuna, sardines, and other canned food. For food, there's no flour. I ran out of flour a while ago. The flour in the market was not good for consumption because it was mixed with plaster by the sellers. May God guide them. There's a bombed house next to us and there was flour under the rubble.
This American Life
861: Group Chat
Yes, that's correct. We were confident there was flour because our neighbor told us there was flour in his home. He also told us that if we could get it, we should eat it.
This American Life
861: Group Chat
We collaborated with the neighbors and got it out. I don't know if you can imagine it, but it used to be a five-story building and now it's only half a story. The whole situation was like a drowning person who's clutching at a straw. We all hoped that we could get the flower out. They didn't get all of it out. I think they got about two bags, and everyone ended up with a small bag.
This American Life
861: Group Chat
We took some of the flour and sifted it twice and ate it. There was sand and plaster in it, but we made it work. The flour lasted two days.
This American Life
861: Group Chat
I couldn't understand what was happening. I didn't know where to go. Suddenly, children appeared and they were covered in blood. People were running, carrying martyrs. It was very bizarre, to be honest. They were carrying the martyr on a donkey cart, but there was no donkey.
This American Life
861: Group Chat
And I said to myself, look at what we've become. What brought us to this life? I don't want to evacuate I don't want to leave I feel comfortable where I am and if I left I'd be anxious all the time it's better for me to stay in my house and maintain my dignity and that's it how long will you stay there? I don't want to leave, but if they bombed somewhere near me, that's when I would leave.
This American Life
861: Group Chat
I meant something closer. Today's bombing was close, but there was still a street between us.
This American Life
861: Group Chat
Yes, he wasn't convinced, but I'm doing what I want. What's in the news is not like what's on the ground. They exaggerate in the news. I tell them the situation where I live still allows me to wait a bit longer in my house. They should listen to me and be patient.
This American Life
861: Group Chat
Not yet. I will tell him he'd be pretty mad most probably. He won't be happy that I got out during this dangerous situation. He would tell me to not leave home in the first place or to go stay with my sisters. I've been telling him since yesterday that the situation where I am is good.
This American Life
861: Group Chat
Hadil, my sister, is feeling down. Come, ya Hadil, let's go out, let's go somewhere. I'm buying. I have Ahmed's money. My sister is feeling low, so let's do something fun.
This American Life
861: Group Chat
No, but it's just one thing that I'm hiding. Now, there's a new disease that has spread targeting children, which is, I don't know, an allergy. It's a skin rash or something like that. So I don't know how to treat her. And every time I use something, it spreads even more.
This American Life
861: Group Chat
Because he would be upset. In reality, they're not here, so he won't know what to do. He'll feel like it's his dereliction of duty, like he could have done something. I don't want him to feel that way. But couldn't Yousef help you get access to the medicines?
This American Life
861: Group Chat
Yes, but he'll send his friends to look and... In reality, I looked a lot and I couldn't find anything, so I don't know what the solution is. I don't want them to be worried over there because I can solve this. As long as I can solve this, there's no need to let them worry and no need to tell them.