Ashley Smith
Appearances
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
And so, like I said, law enforcement is a tough group to talk to about different situations, but I'm just very fortunate to have the opportunity to share my specific story so they can get the other side and see someone who's now in recovery.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
Most definitely, yes. My recovery experience has been very empowering for me and for other people learning about my situation with the pickup truck. And it actually wasn't an ordinary pickup truck I took from the airport. It was a military pickup truck. So I was facing felony charges. But fortunately, I was able to get those charges reduced to misdemeanors with time.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
So because I learned about my diagnosis and had no criminal record whatsoever before this situation occurred.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
Yes, I am. Yes. I've been blogging since 2008, and I just had a thing for writing.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
Yes, I had a great experience with a jail worker and a few of the nurses in the psych ward of the jail. I remember this social worker, her name was Elaine, and she referred me to a few different programs. And being 20 years old at the time, I really wanted to be more independent. And so she guided me to a personal care home, as well as a program for youth with mental illness and substance abuse.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
And in that program, I learned more about my diagnosis, especially through the program WRAP, the Wellness Recovery Action Plan by Mary Ellen Copeland. And ever since then, I've been inspired to be a mentor, to be a peer counselor. And that's what I'm doing today when I'm not writing books, when I'm not taking care of my family and my pets.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
I'm actually a peer counselor called a certified peer specialist here in Georgia. And what that means is the main criteria to be a CPS is to have a diagnosis. have a mental health diagnosis. I've been at CPS since 2012, even though I've been working with NAMI since 2009. I was doing work before I was actually doing the work.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
And so I support people and their goals, going back to work, going back to going into group home, taking care of their families, whatever it is that they're working on, just get on medication. And so I really love what I do. Back in grade school, I wanted to be an actress, but then when I graduated, I wanted to be a social worker.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
And so this is another form of social work, being a CPS, a certified peer specialist.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
I'm not sure. Self-expression, creativity. As a child growing up, I had a journal and teachers gave me compliments on my writing, on my essays growing up in grade school. So I just have a joy for words and putting them together, making them sound lively and passionate and good.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
I think that being a CPS or doing any type of work, it's important to build rapport with the individuals, whoever you're working with. And so I love talking to people. I love supporting people. And so just sharing my story and them knowing that, hey, I have a diagnosis similar to theirs or exactly like theirs, that gives them a lot of hope.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
And I've actually seen firsthand how my blog books, sharing my story vocally through my blog has helped other people and empowered them to be authors. to share their memoir or to share their blog stories.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
Yes, yes. I've worked with quite a few individuals and two become at the forefront where the communication was really soft and really hard in the early on because it was an icebreaker. It takes time to develop these relationships. And so now that in the beginning, this individual wasn't talking as much or they'll give short, brief answers or responses.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
Now their face lights up and now they're looking forward to our sessions and the opening up about different things I would never thought was going on or just noticed because it's just more vocal now. And so that has been really empowering and motivating for me to continue doing this work.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
Yes. And on top of my blog books, I've developed some other books. I've actually self-published seven books today. As of today, I have seven books out on my Amazon author page, amazon.com slash author slash Smith Ashley. And so I've inspired other people to write books and I want to do more book coaching.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
I've done some book coaching in the past before COVID and guided people on different aspects of book writing. And so I want to get back strongly involved in that. where I could kind of step back a little bit from being the CPS and be more of the book coach. And so that's one of my major goals in the next few years is to facilitate more writing classes.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
Two, NAMI, Georgia, and Curious Foundation.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
I might. I might explore being a board member again. I might apply down the road in the next few years. But right now, I'm just continuing to facilitate training and to participate in other workshops and things like that to share my story with law enforcement. And so I'm content with the capacity that I'm in now. But I also really want to see people's response.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
After they hear my story, like, have the conversations that I've had with some people, been very fortunate to have with some people, like, oh, I would never have thought of this X, Y, Z. Or you've encouraged me to write a book. You've encouraged me. I feel like I can do this, you know. I hear that a lot now through the Cures Foundation when I give advice sometimes to the caregivers and family.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
Yes, I wrote my own blog book on my experiences living with schizophrenia. I'm in recovery now.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
They really appreciate the insight, as well as the other individuals on the board. sharing their recovery experiences. And so I love those moments of giving back and seeing the reactions and having a dialogue about it.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
Yes, most definitely. That's a very good angle to look at things. Because sometimes people assume that I didn't have it as bad or that I appear superhuman. And that simply is not the case. My last hospitalization was actually 2003. And that took me out of work for several months. I mean, what, four to six months? And so...
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
I had to really focus on my recuperation and my building myself up again to get to where I am today. And so I just share my story and experience and just building that relationship. It helps in the long run. And it's very motivating to both sides, to me and to the peer.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
I can't think of any questions right now, but I have thought of statements that were very bizarre and cold. I've done many talking and speaking engagements where I share my recovery experience in different groups, shelters, nonprofits, law enforcement, different groups of people. And sometimes someone actually got up and said, hey, you're demonic.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
And so I, me and my co-facilitator took control of that conversation, which was a great opportunity to break the stigma and debunk those myths and be like, no, this is not what you think it is. This is a medical condition. It has nothing to do with our faith and religion.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
I've been wanting to share my story in recovery for a very long time. I actually had the opportunity to meet up with a peer who is also a self-published author, and she guided me through the steps of self-publishing. It was actually her idea just to put my blog articles together to get my story out there. And so she walked me through the process, and then I have these blog books.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
And this is characterized by, you know, different aspects and symptoms of mental health, but it's a medical condition and I am not demonic. And I am just like you, you know. So that was, I've been called demonic a couple of times in my experience, which was very hurtful. But again, it opened the door for that conversation, which is what I want, to debunk the mess and to reduce the stigma.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
I think that question sounded so simple, but it's so complex to me. When we're dealing with recovery, when it comes to schizophrenia, I would say that schizophrenia requires a lot of support from loved ones, from your treatment team. self-awareness and acceptance, but it's not a one way to recovery. There's several different paths.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
So even if an individual does not accept the diagnosis, they can still be in recovery and have a quality life, taking medication, staying involved with family and friends and in the community and things like that. What point I really want to drive home is that recovery is possible. It's possible through several avenues, different avenues.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
Everyone doesn't have to fit the same box, the same hat, the same shoe. And that I think that the top things that helped me in my recovery was therapy, my support system, my family and everybody, as well as organizations such as NAMI, having the peer support to show me an example of what recovery could look like.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
If your community would take a look at my blog, Overcoming Schizophrenia, or at my books on Amazon, amazon.com slash author slash Smith Ashley, or if you want to talk to me directly, ashleysmith6082 at gmail.com. Again, my email is ashleysmith6082 at gmail.com.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
Thank you so much for having me, Tony.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
My first blog book came out back in 2014, What's on My Mind?,
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
Yes, I'm in recovery living with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder and depression. It's a lot going on, but it's very manageable, and I'm grateful that I'm in recovery, and I'm grateful that I'm doing well today.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
I got diagnosed through a legal situation. It was really out of character. It was a family crisis. It was just a mess. When I was 20 years old, I took a break from college and I relocated to spend some time with family. I had wide range of symptoms. I heard voices. I saw spirits and ghosts. I thought people were gossiping about me.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
I even thought people were trying to kill me and poison people in my family. And so I didn't recognize the signs of mental illness. I didn't know that I was hallucinating or having these illusions. Even when I thought I was Jesus Christ, I didn't know something was wrong. And so one day I just decided I want to go back home. I want to make things right again. I want to fix things.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
So I got up and went to the airport. I cashed my last check. Went to the airport by public transportation in San Diego. And I tried to get a flight back home to Atlanta, but I felt very uneasy and uncomfortable. And it was quite a journey to get there. I was familiar with the public transit system, but this day I was confused. I didn't know what was happening.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
And I was afraid of everybody, even the taxi driver, when I took the taxi from downtown. And so I ended up walking aimlessly around the grounds of the airport. And I saw this pickup truck. And I'm thinking to myself, oh my God, this is my blessing because I thought everyone was against me. I thought everyone was trying to kill me, including family.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
And so I got in this pickup truck and started driving. As I'm driving this pickup truck, I hear this hip-hop song on the radio. And the lyrics, the hook is, girls, girls, girls, don't be suicidal. Now, this is the second time I thought the devil was trying to communicate with me through the television and now through the radio.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
And so I'm thinking that I'm dealing with a spiritual war and that he's trying to get me to kill myself. And I'm highly spiritual and religious at this time. I'm so spiritual today. But to make a long story short, I went on high street chase with the police. I was arrested and jailed and hospitalized for five months.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
During the course of those months, I learned about my diagnosis of paranoid schizophrenia. It wasn't fearful or frightening to have the diagnosis because I had a very good doctor. Dr. Wu, he told me I can go back to school as long as I take my medication and manage my stress. And so that's been my foundation of recovery, that legal intervention.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
Dr. Wu told me I can go back and do what I want to do as long as I just take my medication. And so that was the beginning of my recovery back in 2007.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
It was a process. And reflecting on what I know today, looking back, I had some symptoms in high school, but it didn't affect my ability to function until my third year at the university. And so I had a lot of symptoms. I mean, I thought that everyone in the jail was trying to poison me. I thought everyone was in on the cafeteria staff was putting stuff and poisoning my food and things like that.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
So I dumped the train intentionally to not get in trouble for it. And then the phones weren't working after hours. And then I would go to seclusion. And it was just, I was just a mess. But fortunately, I was forced to medicate. And I'm really grateful for that intervention because I was not going to take the medication. I didn't understand what was happening to me or that I was not well.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
Everyone else thought but me. I've been on medication since then. I've been doing very, very well with my recovery. I'm just very fortunate to find medication that works well for me.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
Yes, yes. And as I mentioned, this was a family crisis because my family put a missing persons report on me. No one knew where I went or what happened or why I left just all of a sudden. And so in my recovery, my mom told me that she saw me telling people how I made it through. And this was in jail in the hospital, in the state hospital, when she used to visit me daily. And we would do exercises.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
We'd read the Bible. We'd talk about my plans when I got out of jail and things like that. And so it was just very, it's been a process. And ever since then, I've been wanting to not only help myself, but help other people. And so we were introduced to NAMU, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, through Dr. Wu and my treatment team at that hospital. And I've been a member of NAMI since 2009.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
Me and my family went to an educational meeting. And they met once a month back then. And we got to mingle with other individuals who had diagnosis and family members and caregivers. And it was quite an experience because it left a lasting impression on me because it gave me the desire to want to volunteer for the organization. So I got heavily involved in NAMI Georgia.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
And I've worked in several capacities. And I am a state trainer today. I've been a board member. I've been a facilitator, mentor. I worked on the non-emergency helpline, resource line. And so I've done quite a lot with the organization. It's been quite a journey, and I'm enjoying it. I'm enjoying giving back.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
I'm enjoying learning more about myself and about my diagnosis, not only through my blogging, but also through my volunteer work and meeting other people in these trainings and things like that.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
It's kind of both. I'm not expecting anyone to really comment. I just share. I reflect on my experiences. And so I write a lot. And I try to write about once a week. And sometimes people leave me a gift and leave a comment and I respond. Sometimes I have guest bloggers on my blog, Overcoming Schizophrenia. And that's been a nice experience for both of us.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
Yes, yes. And through my blog, it's interesting. I've learned so much more about the mental health community. Now I'm also on the Advisory Council Curious Foundation. And so I share my experience on the meetings and also give advice to other individuals who are in crisis or who need more support, family members, caregivers, individuals like myself who are also in recovery.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
The Cures Foundation is an awareness organization, and we promote medication for people living with a diagnosis. And we encourage them to consider it when all else fails, try medication, and just learn more about the diagnosis and to seek help. We have bi-monthly meetings. The Cures Foundation, which I sit on the advisory council of.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
And so we talk to different families and individuals who may be going through situations like myself when they had to file a missing persons report or other crises where the individuals living in recovery or who are now on medication or become homeless or something like that. And so we talk situations and stories through so that people feel supported.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
The first thing I learned was that mental illness is not what people seem it seems to be. There are so many myths out there. The stigma is so strong. I didn't know what schizophrenia was until I was diagnosed with it. When the doctors told me about hallucinations, I didn't know what they were talking about. And so that's the major milestone for me is understanding what am I really dealing with?
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
What is schizophrenia? And what does it mean for me and my family? And I really go back to saying how it impacts me and my family because even though this is an individual medical diagnosis, it impacts all of the person and their family, their loved ones. And so... Another thing that I've learned is that recovery is possible.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
Medication is one way, and there's several other possibilities as to how to reach recovery. I don't define recovery by medication. I define it by how we manage our coping skills to get through trying times, daily struggles, and stressors.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
And the things that I've learned through the Darius Foundation is that how do you provide support and care to someone that doesn't understand they have a diagnosis that's gone through some of those poor symptoms dealing with schizophrenia where they're not aware that they even have a medical condition.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
Even though everyone is telling them, their doctor, their family, their friends, hey, you have schizophrenia, take your medication and everything will be okay. It's not a sense of denial. It's a symptom of the condition. I was very fortunate to overcome that part of my condition through the medication, the forced medication for me in my situation. But those are just a few things that I've learned.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
And also that we're a strong community. A lot of people don't know what schizophrenia is or what NAMI is. And the thing is, it's a strong subgroup. There are a lot of individuals like myself who are living in recovery, who are working, who have families, who are giving back to the community and to their churches. And so the world and society in Hollywood doesn't see this.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
They have no idea about this movement that we have going on, about some of us coming up and sharing our recovery experiences. I've shared my story with law enforcement in the past through the crisis intervention team training. For those of us that don't know what that means,
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
It's educating law enforcement how to de-escalate crisis situations of persons who are going through a situation with either substance abuse or mental health. So that instead of using excessive force or taking us to jail, the police officer, the CIT officer will take us to the hospital.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
Yes, exactly. And so I've been involved in quite a few projects. One, for example, is a genetic pharmaceutical company made an educational video called Living with Schizophrenia, A Call for Hope and Recovery. I was one of three stories featured in that documentary. And I've known...
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
Some people reach out to me to get my approval for them using that clip from the documentary to share to their training and classes and support groups and things like that. So that's one avenue. Another way that I've advocated for myself and for others is by not only sharing my story, but like I said, working with law enforcement and so forth.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
I'm going to do a refresher and continue working with law enforcement. I took a break from that program, but I'm getting back involved in that specific program. And so I'm educating law enforcement on how I was handled through this situation, things that could have been handled differently, and my perception when I was being arrested and jailed.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
And also the aftermath, the after effect, because like early on I said, I'm appreciative and fortunate to have a legal intervention and forced medication. that got me out of that symptom of not being aware that I even have a diagnosis. So that was, that was a huge, um,
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
That was a huge success for me in my recovery, is just getting past that initial phase of understanding, hey, I have a diagnosis, which is big, and then, hey, I got to take my medication to control.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
It's interesting. This is a tough group to talk to. As you can imagine, I mean, they're thrown in curveballs, crises all the time. Sometimes it opens up conversations that I really appreciate. Most of the time, there's not going to be a lot of conversation back and forth.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Ashley Smith: from crisis to advocacy
But through this specific program, Enter On Voice, when I shared it in the past, I've learned that they'll pull me aside after the presentation to ask questions. And they'll tell me about someone they may have known, who they've interacted with while they're on their job or even in their families.