Anele Mdoda
Appearances
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
sizing you up yeah sizing yeah constantly sizing me up and I suppose that's the relationship that he has with his parents you know where he's constantly pushing the boundaries the boundaries of the envelope how old was he?
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
same ages they're actually 7 days apart wow they discovered this oh we're best friends you know 7 days apart I'm born this day he's born that day so I'm like oh okay so wait you said get out of the pool
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
yeah he then looked at you yeah like and then what did you say I said booty I said get out of the pool you know and he kind of like waddled around a little bit as well yeah because I'm trying to picture it's pretty gangster for somebody to be waiting and challenging you looking you in the eyes so he doesn't respond no he doesn't maintaining eye contact that's a G that's a G right there
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
But you see, this is what I'm saying is that come out and say we're fighting so I know which arsenal to, you know, to activate type of thing. So now when you're doing this.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
And then, so now I take like a few, because I was also in the pool. Oh, were you in the pool? No, I was swimming with him. Oh, you were in the pool. And then I got out.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
So it's also a case of, kid, please understand, I'm not too lazy to jump back in here. I will come and fetch you type of thing, right? And now, now I'm looking at like, and he's almost like, he's at the step of the pool. His friend is inside the water and his mother's outside swimming. So it was a moment where he was deciding.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
Yes. Does he want to be good or does he want to be cool? Exactly. You know? So now, that's how I was like, okay. So it was a few of those things. Maybe we're in the room. We're like, okay, we're going for dinner now. Everybody's ready. This kid. I'm like, hey, let's go. You know? 10 minutes. Now we're standing outside. Even my partner's like, wait, wait. But now our child is standing with us.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
Now we're waiting for a stranger's child, you know, because we just met you.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
Everything. Guys, when I say everything was identical.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
That's why I was saying that, you know, the job now is to make him so confident and have high self-esteem and understand who he is, that he doesn't have to be taken by those things. But the truth of the matter is, at that age, because remember, we're preteen now, we're going into teen. At that age, you are questioning a lot of things.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
Yes, you know what you were taught, but there are other lessons coming from the outside and they're not always going to be good.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
Who just like, they're the ones who now… Captain of the football team.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
The numbers are actually 0 to 7 is mom, 7 to 14 is dad or uncle, and then 14 to 21 is external. But because… But who's external?
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
No, but you must remember that… Because kids are growing up at a rapid pace as well.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
For me, and this is not scientific or whatever, I just think that at 10 now, we are already external.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
Because also, he is going out a lot more than a normal child would have gone out as a 10-year-old 20, 30 years ago.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
Yeah, there is. The fact that he questions it. Because you must remember, some people just will go along with it immediately. Hey, let's do this. We go. I can see the thought process in Alaka's mind when he goes, and then like, you know, I can see it. I can see it. But also, you know, I've been very careful in, because I don't want my child to be scared of me at all. I don't want that.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
Oh, wow. Yes, carry on. I'm so glad that entertained you both. You're such a mom, you know. You're such a funny line. I don't want my child to be scared of me, but I do want him to to know that this is the line and this is the line, right? And to respect, and you know, to respect me and just to respect other people.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
And also to respect somebody's decision that they're not going to go, like, you know what, I respect that you want to do this, but I am not going to do that. And that's frankly really all I want.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
Yes, he did. Oh, so he saw this happening. Yes. And as we're walking back to our room, he was walking so far ahead because he knew, he knew that we want to have, you know, the chat with him. But then I did the most gangster thing, right? Yeah. I didn't say anything because I could see he was like, it was chewing him. I didn't say anything.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
And I just asked and I said, your guy's behavior at the restaurant was really not what we like about you and what we've taught you. He's like, no, I understand. And then he quickly named exactly what he'd done. This is child X. No, this is, I like it. Oh, this is I like it.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
And he quickly like, but then because we're asking him because there were a point where they weren't within us seeing what they were doing. But then they came back and they just like disheveled and went like,
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
they were playing with water some type of thing yeah but he so he explains what happened i'm not buying the story but he explains that what happened to my partner my partner's buying this i don't know if he was buying it whatever guy to guy as well they had like a little mano a mano and i was like actually you handle it leave me out of it fine go to bed three in the morning i wake up because i want him to tell me the story again as he's just woken up go into go into his room
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
Going to his room. This is on a holiday, bro. Put the lights on, everything. The lights aren't even. No, but he doesn't wake up because the lights are on. But I just want that when I do wake him up.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
Yeah, the lights are on so I can see his immediate reaction. I asked him, just give me that story again. Run it by me again because I didn't quite catch it.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
I switch on the lights. And then I get into bed with him. And then I nudge him. I'm like, hey, Baba, wake up. If you wake up, he's like, ooh, is it time for us to go already? I'm like, no, no. Just quickly. I didn't quite hear that story.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
Run it by me again. And then... He ran, he said it and I was comfortable with the answer. And then I was like, but you do understand that this is not behavior that we are accustomed. He's like, no, I get it. And I know that it was wrong. And this is why I was apologizing. And I'm like, okay, cool.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
I just wanted to know that the story was the story and there wasn't anything else that I need to address. And I said to him, because you know that. Some kids don't come, kids don't come from the same backgrounds and from the same homes.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
You know, so yeah. But also when I did that, because then I got back and then my partner's like, oh, is everything fine? I'm like, yeah, it's fine. And then like, then when I woke up in the morning and I told you, he was like, no, no ways. And I'm like, yeah. And I said to him, you know what? I've never been a mother to a 10 year old before. So I'm also winging it type of thing. Yeah, that's true.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
I'm also winging it. Much like he's never been a 10 year old before and with all these emotions and everything that's going on with him. So we're just going to have to figure each other out.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
Definitely. But the thing that we parents are doing now is we're very willing to question the school that he's at because there's too much writing and the kids aren't writing anymore. Let's take him to a school that just does robotics and everything is computerized. It's all sporting, right? Oh, my child is so good at this.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
Maybe I should take him out of the school because he's going to play for the Springboks. He's going to play for the Proteas and all of that. But I think when it comes to, you know, just discipline and emotion and all of that, as parents, we're very much holding on to discipline. you know, what you believe at that moment in time. It's very difficult.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
And I tried very hard with my son where I'm like, okay, level with me, talk to me, you know, explain to me what was your thinking when you were doing that, right? So that I can understand, because like you said, I'm 40 and he's 10 and we really, we different times, right? You know, different times, different ways of parenting as well. And I didn't have that with my mom or my dad.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
It was what they say, sure, you know, That's the rule. That was the rule. It's also because it's like, I'm paying for the house. I'm paying for this. So, you know, as long as you live under this household, under this roof, you are going to, you know, type of thing. And I don't want that with the house. You know, simple things as well.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
Like people ask me, why do you knock when you go into your son's room? You know, it's your house. I'm like, yes, but it's his room.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
He gave me keys to the city. So, why do you knock? And I'm like, because I want him to knock when he's coming into my room.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
And here's the thing is that I want to show you that I respect your privacy because everybody else in the world must also respect your privacy. Because if I, how can I say I'm allowed to not to respect your privacy, but everybody else must respect your privacy type of thing. So I basically treat him the way
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
I want the world to treat him so that he can know, he's like, no, back at home, this is how I'm treated. And you're not treating me the way that I'm treated at home, where I'm loved. So this is not going to fly. And actually, that's all you want your kids to be about.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
One, two, three, four. I declare a thumb war. One, two, three.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
You even put sound thingies. Yeah. You, your face went, bitch, who do you think I am? Oh, man. You look at me like, yeah, this is who I am.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
As in opening it like you want to see what's inside.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
The thing about a child being inquisitive as well is that it could be on the bad side of things.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
Because people always treat being inquisitive like, oh, it's such a wonderful thing. It's a great trait. He's so inquisitive. But if he's inquisitive as to what's going to happen if at age nine he takes the car, right? That's not a good thing.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
I didn't think the sentence would end like that. Me too. I didn't think the sentence would end like that. Yeah. Wow. I thought grounded, like grounded or get a, I didn't think.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
Okay, but now we mustn't stick on this one because everybody's got a worry. Now we're going to spend the next hour discussing only my worries.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
People you're close to, you should have said Happy New Year on the 1st of Jan.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
Then the y-axis is... But remember, Cesar didn't have friends. He's got cousins. We are the first friends in Cesar's life. Please, let's remember this.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
The thing that came into my mind wasn't that. I was like, oh.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
Ooh, that is a very, very risky thing. Because what does encapsulate the human race?
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
Maybe each country should send something.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
Oh, you came back with that on, didn't you?
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
But I think you've got a global view because you are a global person, right? We can scale this down and realize that it's always been like that. It's just that now we are aware that it's happening everywhere else as well. Let me take it back to South Africa. A person who was raised in the hood and a person who was raised in the rural areas They are aliens to each other.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
Versus the village. There we go. But then even in America, somebody was raised in the South, and I'm a Southern male. Do you know what I'm saying? As opposed to somebody who was raised in New York, those people are also quite alien to each other.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
Right? And now that is a country. I just feel that because you've been everywhere in the world, it is a lot more heightened for you that you think that.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
You want to miss the revolution? No. You want to be here for it?
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
Trevor doesn't want to be... Do you want to be here for a revolution? I mean, I think in many parts we... You want to be here for the revolution. No, I don't want to be here for a revolution.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
Wasn't COVID a revolution? Oh, it wasn't.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
When I said that, you know, maybe I think we've lived through revolutions. I think you guys think I'm assuming like the violent ones, you know. No, no, no, no, no. I just mean... You mean a reset. Okay. So you're saying I'm talking about a reset and not a revolution. Yes. You're going to have to then give me the difference between those.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
Then give me an example of a revolution.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
I think it's good to have a conversation with your friends because we can say, ah, don't say that one in public. Keep that one here.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
Even when we are, like you're saying, the Trump party, not the Republicans, even when we're all for one thing and we have one ideal, we're still going to disagree within that. But not fundamentally. Right. I think so.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
Where we were all about one thing. Even when we get along, guys, even in a group of friends, you know that WhatsApp group where there was nine of you and the next thing in that nine, six of you slipped to the side. Do you know what I'm saying? That is human nature.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
I think the attempt to cancel is still there. And the fact that there could be an attempt to cancel you means that you could still be cancelled because you could be ducking and diving and catch one stray that does cancel you. So cancelling is still a thing. This is why it is important to ask your friends first. They call them WhatsApp conversations.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
It was supposed to happen that way. But you guys also did that with me. It's supposed to happen that way.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
Yeah. And then you go, actually... Maybe you shouldn't die at all. Remember the guy you interviewed?
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
You know, sometimes you'll tweet something, you'll put it on X or you'll put it on Instagram and someone will be like, hey, hey, hey, first start with your friends with that one. Test that out. I think it's definitely still a thing. I don't know. Because if you lose 10% of your income, it's still 10% of your income that you've lost.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
And how they crumble when someone does say something.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
Because you were literally throwing the mud on the playground. Yeah.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
I think your brother's right. But I think there's very few of them that are like that. The rest of them. And if you had to look at the stats around, you know, mental wellness and anxiety and all of that, a lot of them are not thinking like that. So for me, your brother is the hippie.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
The thing around touching is... So that I can assess your strength. Because when you are bullying me and you touch me, I can assess, okay, maybe I can fight you one day. But digitally, I don't know what your strength is. Yeah, that is one thing I think is worse. That's the only reason I'll agree with you with the bully touching you.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
But that's because with digital, everything is just fleeting and passing. Yeah, and fake. Yeah, but I'll raise you that people that I have like squared up with on digital, there are people that have become my friends because every day we're going to have a go at each other. Right.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
Yes. And then after a while, you're like, you know, you're not half bad because you must remember something. Somebody who's wrong can't be wrong all the time. And somebody who's right can't be right all the time.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
So even with people that I've disagreed with, you know, like aggressively on eggs, sooner or later, because you still get retweeted by other people, I'm like, you know, I usually speak nonsense. But today I can agree with what you're saying. So we are agreeing with each other. It's just that with digital, there's this thing of, I've said it, it's done, my phone is off, I'm gone.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
But now with your bully, they were coming back to you every day. There was a chance of you seeing them again and again and again. So back to what you were saying about community, Think of the first days on Twitter. That was a community.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
And I think right now it's just that you're dealing with, you wouldn't allow anyone to just touch you like that, even in your physical sense when you're a child, because you're like, I don't know you.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
I have a bullying. Who are you? Who are you? Right. And I think that what you're going back to is that wherever you are, be it at work, within your family, whatever, just find your sense of community.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
You know, when Cesar almost quoted President Joe Biden, let me quote President Obama at his first inauguration where he said, I will listen to you, especially when we disagree.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
you must listen to people that you disagree with and that's the problem with I would say the Trump party is that there's just a notion that I don't have to listen to you because I disagree with you but what if in the two minutes of me talking you agree with 30 seconds of what I'm saying Now you're doing yourself an injustice of just totally disregarding me because I'm not a Trump party.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
I saw a white guy coming up for her and he wrote a thread about what could have gone wrong and we must understand.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
And you believe that if I pick one, I can't like certain elements of the other one.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
And that's what made it work because you know what you find then? You find accountability. And me constantly having to behave in a way that proves that my theory is the one that we should go with, right? Now, when we're all thinking the same, right? When we're all thinking the same, isn't that a dictatorship?
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
Yeah, at least one of your friends. In the event that you die in a dodgy place, one of us must be like, yeah, well. I knew they went there.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
As a parent, you just have to be the eternal optimist. And that's true. But then it's so difficult to be the eternal optimist, but then finding hard places to be hard inside of that because you have to be hard at times because discipline has to happen. Damn. You know? So you know what it is? It's a yo-yo. Yeah.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
We separate, but we're going to come together because somebody has to drive you to school.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
Things that are appropriate to in public and things that are inappropriate. Yes.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
So I have two. Do you want me to give you the two now or is it one round around?
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
The first one is my son's turning 10 this year and he's reaching the part of his life where he no longer looks inside the home for role models and who to mimic himself on. He's going to look externally. And this wasn't something that was, you know, on top of my mind until we went on holiday and he made a friend. A friend with a discipline problem.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
That by the end of the holiday, I had to say to him, give me your phone. Did you add this boy's number? I said, delete him, block him. We are not going to be friends with him type of thing. And then it had me thinking that, you know, we had a point now where I just have to make sure that his self-esteem is so high and his confidence is so unshakable that things like that don't impress him.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
He has to remember how he was raised at home.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
Last year, we had a Christmas party, right? And everybody had to stand up and say what they're grateful for.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
Obviously, people are grateful for, you know, work and, you know, good relationships and, you know, being financially sound. Yeah. Somebody...
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
stood up and said that he is grateful for how he out of 60 people he's the only one who said that and it got a lot of us thinking that you know we're at a place where anything could be something like right now i have an issue with my shoulder and i'm so scared to go and check it out because i'm so scared they're gonna say it's something like oh you've got six months i'm like no i've got
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
things to do I can't have six months and I promise you my health is something that is just starting to appear in my list of things that I worry about a lot more than it did because sooner or later you know you have to come to terms that you're not immortal you're not going to be around here for long you know damn these are very okay these are existential worries in different ways Cease what are you worried about
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
Oh, because I... There already have been external influences, right? Just even you two as an example to the relationship that you guys have with... I like it. It is bordering on uncle, on father figure and all of that, right? And so I... I think it's the older people because I get to choose them. You must remember that. Oh, curation. For a very long time, I get to choose who is around him.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
I thought I was just like defaulted in, but I'm glad you chose me.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
And now with that is that he, you know, also he can't control who he's going to meet type of thing. Yeah. So granted, yes, somebody may spark his interest and it'll be in a good way. But along the line, it's going to be in a bad way. And I just want that he's to know that he's able to decipher and decide for himself that, ooh, you know, this one is not the one.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Wringing in the New Year [VIDEO]
I prefer a kid who's outright rude. Then I'm like, oh, okay. Is that it? You know? I'm like, okay, kid, let's square up. But this one, it was just like slight discipline issues where if we say, hey guys, let's all go. We're going now. He'll stay in the pool. Almost like looking at me to see, are you going to come in the pool type of thing.