Amy Perry
Appearances
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
Not quite the same where she forgot to hit the button, but this time she told me the name of the driver. And again, there was like a conversation with this driver that I could hear through her. I didn't hear this person, but I heard the same car sounds. And she got to her appointment. She went right in.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
I manage a Facebook group for local birth workers called Placenta Squad.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
We had a lovely stillbirth delivery. Like, you know, as nice as it could be, she described to us what the baby looked like when she was holding her. She got that immediate skin to skin and she described what it was like to hold the baby and what she felt like.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
And then she started making noises like she was in pain again. She was making like, oh, like, oh, kind of noises, like, like something was being done to her body. And she explained to me that they were tugging at her placenta, that they were tugging at the cord and that it was painful. And she was having a hard time with that.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
And so I was just reminding her to breathe, you know, let her body do what it's supposed to do. You know, I'm here for you, whatever happens and just reminding her she's not alone.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
And so I'm on the phone with a 24-year-old girl who's just had a stillborn baby to a sexual assault. And now I have to process with her that she needs a hysterectomy after this.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
She's just acting very sad at this moment. To me, it was acting like she was a little bit dissociative, like she maybe wasn't really present in the moment. She started like whispering a lot of the bad news. So she would, she would like get really quiet and say they want to do a hysterectomy. And then you'd be like, okay, that really blows. Let's figure that out.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
But right now, you just need to know that you're safe. These are medical professionals. They're trying to do what's best for you. If you're bleeding this badly, then they're trying to save your life. And I'm here for you, right?
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
I'm coming up on eight years. Yeah, I've been a doula for a long time. I've attended over 100 births now, and it's been a ride.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
It sounded like she was fading, like it sounded like she was having difficulty talking, like she was having difficulty staying awake. She would talk about how scared she was.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
She would explain what the inside of the ambulance looked like. Honestly, she used a lot of tactics that I have been taught all my life in therapy. Things like focusing on one object in the room and describing that object in the room. or focusing on one feeling you're having instead of all the different feelings you're having. And so we spent time doing that.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
I would remind her, you know, it's 20 minutes up the road in an ambulance driving bad out of hell. You know, we're not going to be that long. We can do this. We counted down the minutes together.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
She described to me, and I listened to her speaking to somebody else and giving my contact information, and it being written down on a pink sticky note which was put on the front of her file that was being passed over. That if something happened to her during the surgery... that, like, her mom didn't know us, her family didn't know us, no one would know to call us.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
Katie and I were fully prepared to be searching obituaries for the next four days if we didn't hear from her.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
I am just standing in the shower, staring at the wall, scalding hot water, thinking, like, I'm two days in, and I have no idea what's coming.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
So she would say things like, oh, like this pain is building in my stomach. I'm starting to feel pain in my belly. I'm feeling bloated. And then she would look down or reach down and she would see blood. And I would have to say, is there someone there? Is there someone you can speak to? Have they left you the call button? And she'd say, I don't want to press the call button.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
And I'd say, girl, you've got to press the call button. Like, we don't have a choice right now. Press your call button. She'd go, okay, I pressed the call button. And then she would describe... A nurse coming and checking on her, lifting the sheets. And then basically she would say, my nurse looks concerned. Oh, my nurse is hitting the emergency button on the wall.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
And so I thought, like, this girl's still bleeding. She's still having a hard time. And this is not over.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
At this point, more than anything, I am exhausted. I am completely emotionally checked out. I am no longer taking care of myself.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
She starts hinting to us that this no longer seems like necessarily a gynecological issue, but maybe something more is going on here. We have another emergency hospital transfer, and this time it's in a helicopter. So she tells me that she's being helicoptered from McMaster and Hamilton to Toronto General.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
She says she's covering her mic when it's loud and so that I don't hear too much of what's going on. She makes a little quip about, oh, your pink sticky note's still on the front of the file, so everyone will know to contact you if they need to. And she tells me when she can see the CN Tower and...
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
She's using phrases like, I feel like I'm dying, it's so hard to live right now, I just want to give up. And all I can do is just encourage her to keep breathing and keep focusing on the environment she's in and know that she's getting somewhere where she's going to be safe.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
It just made sense for me. I could make my own hours. I could work around my health. I could have my own business. I could be here when my kids were little, and it made a lot of sense for us. I'm the child of two parents of chronic illness. I've grown up taking care of people, and this is very natural for me.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
She had told us that the blood clots were getting bigger, that one of them was weighed in at 5.7 pounds. She even explained how it ripped her as it came out. She would start sending us selfies, but they were all very close. So we couldn't necessarily see what was happening in the background. And the whole time she wore the same sports bra.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
We had like a half a thought, like why isn't she wearing a hospital gown?
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
At some point, there was a more major surgery that needed to happen or something that we couldn't be there for. And she's getting more weak-sounding, and she says that she can hear doctors yelling at each other, and people are disagreeing with treatment. It feels tense on her end. And we are hysterical. I mean, we are both crying. And...
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
We just listened basically like at some point she's just stopped talking and all we could hear was her breathing on the phone and we kind of assumed maybe she had been put under but we weren't really sure and then the call was still going but it just goes quiet. And we were even, like, we were both on the call, not speaking, texting each other, going, how long until we hang up?
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
Like, once in a while, we're just saying, you know, we love you, Caitlin. If you can hear us, like, you're going to be okay. We'll talk to you when you wake up. Everything's going to be okay. Like, you're going to see another day.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
And then she texted us that she was being diagnosed with stage 4a pelvic cancer.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
She told us that it was specifically in her vagina, in her pelvis, and in her rectum. We asked what they said the next steps were going to be, if there was a prognosis with this information. She told us that the next steps included a vaginectomy, radiation, and palliative care. So at this point, we are under the understanding that at some point, she is going to die. Um...
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
She told us that they gave her brochures of the different palliative care options. We had real conversations about when is it okay to give up. And just die. And just die.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
She was saying things like, we're all trauma bonded forever. I don't ever want to get rid of you. We're going to be in this together forever. We're never going to forget each other now. Also making it very clear that she was sorry that she was putting us through this. So she would say things like, I'm so sorry. You have to listen. Like, you don't have to stay here with me if you don't want to.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
You can go at any time, like almost pushing us away so that we would become even more solid in our like, no, we're here for you. We're going to be with you through this. We're not going anywhere.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
I got to a place of being so connected to her that I was saying, like, like, screw your mom. Like, I'm your mom now. You don't need her in your life.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
It's late at night. It's about 10 o'clock at night. And I'm on the phone with her by myself. And she starts getting very quiet. And she says to me, I'm not alone. And I'm like, what do you mean you're not alone? And she says that she's in the back of the ambulance and that there's a doctor here and he's scaring her.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
And I'm confused, but my body is, I mean, I'm physically reacting to this already. What do you mean you're alone? What do you mean you're uncomfortable? Can you see his name tag, Caitlin? Can you tell me what his name is? And it goes on, and she's sounding more and more scared. He's here. He's getting closer. I don't know what to do. She says, oh, my God, and the phone call cuts.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
And I am picturing her being raped in the back of an ambulance by a doctor.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
We were told that they were going to collect evidence and that they would be in touch with the police. But, like, we were a mess. I mean, I'm a sexual assault survivor. Like, after that ambulance call, I was even more checked out.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
I was a zombie. I mean, I am a smart, well-spoken, educated individual. And I had none of those abilities.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
I had a friend who I was, who's a doula, who I was, she made a comment on that Thursday kind of mid-afternoon to me. And all she said was, wow, I can't believe that all of this is happening to the same person.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
She's again being, you know, taken into the operating room. And we hear a dog bark. And I have spent a lot of time in ICUs, both for myself and with other people. And I have never and could not imagine a situation where someone would have a dog in an ICU. And then Amy's girlfriend has more questions. She calls me and she says, Amy, I need to tell you something.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
And I'm like preparing myself, like what could this be? And she says, if these doctors are getting arrested, it's not on the news.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
By this point, I'm out. I'm like, fuck this whole situation. I don't believe a word of it anymore. I don't know what's going on.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
We really spent most of that day on phone calls. She told me that she had earbuds in her ears so she could be hands free and that her phone was just in her pocket. And, you know, I was honestly in the same situation, just walking around the house, phone in my pocket, kind of puttering around, doing some cleaning while I was coaching through contractions.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
Well, coaching through a stillbirth really isn't much different than coaching through any other delivery. When the contractions start, you know, we remind them that she's safe, that she's in good hands, that there's people here to help her, that she's not alone, that she's going to get to hold her baby soon.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
We used the name Eden, both of us regularly. She would say things like, I'm going to get to hold you soon, Eden. You were brought into my life for a reason. We're going to get through this together. She would say things like, you're going to be so beautiful. I would remind her that, you know, she's a good mom, that she's doing the best thing that she can do.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
There was a moment where she questioned whether she could call herself a mom, and I reassured her that, of course, you can call yourself a mom. This is your baby.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
Well, it took us a little bit to actually figure out what actually happened. And to be honest, I still don't fully have those answers.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
We always were asking why. I mean, from the very first moment, I wanted to know why. So it's a long story. Settle in.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
Yeah, I mean, it sounded exactly like a contraction. It had a buildup. It had a high point. It had to come down. They were well spaced apart. You know, there are some very subtle signs as birth workers that we can see that made sense to us.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
The way her voice just got a little in her chest when she was feeling crampy or when she would tell me the different positions she would find herself just naturally going into through the contractions. She would tell me she was on her hands and knees or that she was squatting. That she was sitting on a yoga ball.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
But after quite a number of hours of this, I asked, like, do you specifically want to lean into this? Like, do you want the tips and tricks to like really get this rolled over into an actual active labor? I was really coaching on how to move her body through the contractions.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
I was really focused on things like making sure her mood stayed as positive as possible because we know that that negativity just works against us through the labor process. So we were making jokes. We were building a rapport. We sort of learned kind of quickly we have the same sense of dark humor. We
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
We're making comments about our families, and she was asking questions about me and getting to know me, and I was doing the same with her.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
The one thing that really stood out to me that I was tiptoeing very carefully around when talking about getting the labor started was some of these more like pseudo-sexual type ways that we can move labor along. I was very informed from the beginning that this was a pregnancy via assault.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
When we're dealing with a loving couple, it's not all that weird or awkward to talk about how things like nipple stimulation or masturbation or pumping can move people over into active labor. She asked me specifically if nipple stimulation and pumping or masturbation would help. And I never would have offered that information in the situation, but she asked the question.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
So I answered, I was honest and I said yes. And that was when she told me that she was doing some of those things through contractions And I'm a doula, like it's, this is normal for me in these situations. I was a little shocked that someone who had been through something like that would be okay with moving in this direction. But, you know, she had told me she was, so that was where we went.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
We were getting to a point where contractions were getting stronger, where they were getting closer together and longer, more powerful feeling through what I was listening to over the phone. And I said, you know, I'm starting to feel uncomfortable with the fact that you're at home. And I think we need to start getting you over to a hospital.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
But let's figure this out. I'd rather you be there alone than be at your house alone. And she right away was like, yep, I'll grab my keys. I'll get in the car. And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Like, you're not driving yourself to the hospital. I'll call a cab for you if you can't make the call. I'll help you set up an Uber.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
She'd say, OK, it's 11 minutes away. And I said, OK, great. We'll start counting them down. That's like in my mind, we have a contraction every like five minutes. So I was saying things like that's two contractions. We can do that. Right. That's two contractions till the till the Uber gets here. You know, I know it's going to take you some time to.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
I know you think you can get to the door in 10 minutes, but like you're in labor. This is going to take you time. Let's start getting our shoes on. Let's start getting the things we need. Let's make sure our stuff's at the door. We'll stop for contractions. But that 10 minutes would go by and there'd still be nobody. And she'd go, oh, he's still now he's 12 minutes away.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
Okay, well, maybe he's picking somebody up on the way. Like, I don't know. I'm not there. I can't see your phone. And I'm like, okay, did you do everything right? Yes. Another 10 minutes goes by. Once we get it 30 minutes, she tells me that she forgot to hit the confirm ride button. And so that's why the time had been dancing. And so she said, yep, it's for sure hit now.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
He's definitely on his way. I have a time he's going to be here. And I am honestly like freaking out at this point, like contractions are strong. And in my head, I'm picturing her having a stillborn baby in the doorway of her house when an Uber driver pulls up. And I, I'm losing it. So I ask if I can call an ambulance for her. And she said no. I don't know her address at this point either.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
So even if I was to call 911, I don't have an address to send the ambulance.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
So she gets in the Uber. I hear a car accelerating and decelerating. She's speaking to somebody else in the car. I can't hear them because I'm just in her earbuds. But she's speaking as if there's somebody else in the car. And we're even making jokes about how this will be the story of his Uber career.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
So we get to the hospital. I hear... You know, you hear when people are walking through different environments. So I could hear, you know, it sounded like a lobby. I could hear what sounded like more enclosed space, like an elevator. We did a contraction in the lobby. She was working her way up. She was excited that there was nobody in the elevator.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
And when she got to labor and delivery, she told me she was going to hang up so that she could deal with that. And she was going right in.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
I was fighting an RSV virus that was going around, so I was going to be home not doing anything.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
But oddly, Caitlin is being sent home. They wouldn't admit her until she was five centimeters, which sounds weird to me, but I'm not there. And that she was being sent home with the promise of Pitocin the next morning.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
The next day, I spent the entire Saturday alone at my house on the phone with her, continuing this labor. We started our conversation with me saying, okay, like, when are you going in for this Pitocin? Like, when's your appointment? And she told me 2 o'clock in the afternoon, which I right away was a little red flagged on because she had told me Pitocin in the morning. And like, a 2 p.m.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
Uncover Introduces | The Con: Kaitlyn’s Baby
afternoon appointment is like... far away from what was happening in my mind. But I don't know what's happening at the hospital. I don't know what's going on. So I really just hang out on the phone with her. Amy coaches Caitlin through more contractions. They all sounded really real to me. They do the car booking dance again.