Alonzo Bodden
Appearances
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Moe Wagner
Since he didn't play college ball, even at age 21, Matt had his full eligibility and is now a full-time scholarship as cornerback at Alcorn State University.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Moe Wagner
Mo, good night. Can I ask you something about a story I heard? Oh, please. So I heard that you guys obviously speak German and that you talk some smack while you're playing in German and that Luka Doncic understood what you were saying about him. What were you guys saying and what did he pick up?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Moe Wagner
When we say they didn't complain, I think we didn't hear them complain.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Moe Wagner
I suspect there was somebody at NASA who heard a lot of, what the hell are you doing?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Moe Wagner
Alonzo Bowden. They'll be stuck 199 miles away from the dealership in a 200-mile range Tesla. And Paula Poundstone.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Moe Wagner
We were all sitting back like, oh, this will be the one moment in black history they don't erase.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Moe Wagner
Yeah, but you had that written down on your past. Oh yeah, I had that written down. My question would be, is the expert who wrote this, have they ever been on a date?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Moe Wagner
I mean, why would you say you're saying these stories like on TV when somebody's 108 or 115? Exactly that. So, if somebody just comes to you and says they're 108, you're actually going to go to a company to verify it? Well, that's what they do. Like, who the hell cares?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Moe Wagner
If somebody's really old and maybe they missed a couple of years, I'd let that go. Once you hit 95, just call it what you want. Yeah. It's not like you're going to get even more of a senior discount. I mean, that's pretty much it. You know what? If you're 105 and you're sharp enough to lie and say 115, I'm going to give it to you. I'm going to be like, wow, okay. Boy, are we different.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Moe Wagner
I have a friend, and recently he turned 65. And he said, that's it. There's nothing left. Like, there's no age benefit after that. That's true. So, again, so if you say you're 90 or if you say you're 115, what do you win? You can carry the torch at an Olympics? Please, you were at the first one.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Moe Wagner
Matt Collins worked for Amazon. Everyone thought Amazon Prime one day delivery was fast. Then they saw Matt run. KCAB obtained this video from a neighbor's ring camera. Matt was dropping a package when Thor, a notorious neighborhood German shepherd, got loose.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Moe Wagner
In the video, Matt ran past his truck, leaped a small garden hedge, and increased the distance between himself and Thor until Thor simply gave up. Thor wasn't the only one to see Matt run. Pete Walker, who once coached Deion Primetime Sanders, said Matt was the fastest man he's seen since he saw Deion run a 4.240 in college. Pete had to find and time Matt. Matt ran a 4.3540.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Moe Wagner
Now, it's rumored Thor's 40 time was about 4.5, but no one's been brave enough to verify that. It turned out Matt had been a high school player, but he didn't get recruited for college and was working at Amazon to help pay for his education. Well, Matt won't have that problem anymore.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Lewis Black
The church elders, while impressed with the young women's efforts, asked that perhaps next year they could give up fruit or chocolate instead.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Lewis Black
That broke. Lou, I don't know if I ever told you this, and to everyone, Louis Black is a friend and one of my comedy heroes. I had to stop watching you so I didn't do you. Because the rants just come out, and then you realize, like, wow, I'm as mad as Louis Black. I'm doing really good here. I got to calm down a notch. Love you, man. Love you from day one. You're the same.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Lewis Black
I'm just wondering, how big would your house have to be to be able to build up speed doing chores? I mean, if you could afford a house that big, you could get a personal trainer. That's true. And also someone to do the chores for you.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Lewis Black
Were you guys surprised to see Harvard taking this stance? I don't know if I was surprised, considering $2 billion to Harvard is like, what, 20 bucks?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Lewis Black
Like, yeah, we'll go through the couches, we'll get the spare change, we'll cover the $2 billion.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Lewis Black
I have to say, Peter, as a comic, when we do shows, the worst thing is when a bachelorette party walks in. And this, now the whole country gets to see why we don't like bachelorette parties. This was just a giant bachelorette party. Look how rich we are. We're going to fly to space for 11 minutes. Then we're going to come back and get drunk. And they...
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Lewis Black
While Leah Windley of York, Iowa loved clothes, she also loved Jesus. So this year, she and her friends Andrea and Debbie all gave up buying clothes for Lent. Well, new clothes, that is. Vintage is fine. Now, as Easter nears, Leah's Lent fashion has started a huge craze. Everybody's wearing the new Easter vintage look around York. And it's not just regular vintage. They've gone Victorian.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Lewis Black
But apparently the local Cineplex hasn't shown a Christmas Carol for a while, so they're guessing how to wear the different items. When Andrea arrived at church in a corset, she was told by the very agitated minister that a corset isn't actually a shirt. Debbie thought her bustle skirt was quite elegant when she put it on, but it was also huge and she lost half of it climbing out of her Uber.