Alicia Kenworthy
Appearances
The Moth
The Moth Podcast: Family Matters
Like, not in any kind of dramatic sense. We talk. He's a retired Air Force veteran. He's done three tours in Vietnam. And if you put in the movie Top Gun, he can tell you all about which scenes are the most realistic and why. And from his stories, I've kind of gleaned the grand outlines of our family history.
The Moth
The Moth Podcast: Family Matters
I know that he raised my three older half-siblings as a single father, that he met my mother in a bar, and that I obviously am the best thing that ever happened to him. But other than that, he's very business-like and direct and to the point, and we just don't really do, you know, conversation. So I decided I would just forward the email with minimal commentary.
The Moth
The Moth Podcast: Family Matters
So just sent it along and said, hey, Dad, looks like this is meant for you. And he replied about 15 minutes later, and he said, hi, Alicia, I will follow up on this. And so I waited for him to follow up.
The Moth
The Moth Podcast: Family Matters
And as I was waiting for my dad to kind of process the idea that this German gentleman with almost impeccable grammar was most likely his long-lost son, I just started thinking about what the guy had written in his email. He claimed he didn't really want anything much from my dad, maybe a photo and some information about our family history.
The Moth
The Moth Podcast: Family Matters
And I had lived 35 years up to this point without knowing this guy even existed. But in all of five minutes, I found myself wanting everything from him. I wanted to book a plane ticket to Bavaria and buy a dirndl and exchange stories in a beer garden. But from my father's end, there was radio silence. And my 82-year-old dad seemed to be taking his sweet time. One day went by and nothing.
The Moth
The Moth Podcast: Family Matters
Second day went by and nothing. And finally, after like a week, I get a call and it's my dad. And he asked me if I would like to go down to the waterfront to have a father-daughter talk. No reason at all. And we don't live anywhere near a waterfront. So he came and picked me up.
The Moth
The Moth Podcast: Family Matters
And this being COVID, we both donned our N95 masks and we rolled down the windows and we didn't say a word to each other for the entire half hour drive in the car. And we drove down to Haynes Point and got out of the car and we walked around until we found an empty bench that seemed suitable for conversation.
The Moth
The Moth Podcast: Family Matters
And there my dad launched into the most convoluted story about airplanes I think I have ever heard. He explained all the different fighter jets they were developing in 1968 and what his personal training had been and why he was selected to train on one of these planes and sent to Germany and how he did a 4G inverted dive on a MiG-28.
The Moth
The Moth Podcast: Family Matters
So one morning about a year ago now, I was lying in bed and staring at my phone when I received a message via the contact form on my personal website. And now to be honest, I'm not sure why I even keep a contact me form available for the world wide web. Mostly what I get is spam.
The Moth
The Moth Podcast: Family Matters
That's actually a line from Top Gun, for those of you who know the movie. Eventually, after about 20 minutes, I interrupted him and I said, Dad, do I have a brother? Two weeks ago, this German gentleman with impeccable grammar landed via a Boeing 787 at Dulles International Airport, and my dad and I were there to welcome him at the arrivals gate with a sign that said, welcome home.
The Moth
The Moth Podcast: Family Matters
He was accompanied by his wife, Melanie, and the most beautiful 13-year-old little girl named Louisa, who is my father's only known grandchild. And we took them back to the house where Louisa's promoted to grandpa mug that she gave my father sits on the mantle. And after dinner, we sat around and watched Top Gun as a family.
The Moth
The Moth Podcast: Family Matters
And then I got an email notification from 23andMe that said, this guy is a total scammer and he's not your brother. No. The truth is I don't really know how to end a happy story. I've been waiting for some sort of like twist the past few weeks to make it more interesting. But the truth is that Lutz is my brother and he fits into our family like a puzzle piece that we didn't even know was missing.
The Moth
The Moth Podcast: Family Matters
And my dad and I are still searching for the exact expression to encapsulate that feeling. But I'm sure there's a German word for it out there somewhere.
The Moth
The Moth Podcast: Family Matters
It's been five years since I woke up to that unexpected email. Since then, we've been to Munich, Barcelona, and even Disney World as a family. We still talk every week in the family group chat, and my mom loves to brag that Lutz is a younger, even handsomer version of her husband. My dad turns 86 this fall, and we're hoping to celebrate all together in person here in D.C.
The Moth
The Moth Podcast: Family Matters
Although one time a lady from Vancouver, Canada wrote to let me know she shares my name and also receives my Papa John's delivery notifications. to her inbox. She just wanted to let me know the pepperoni pizza I ordered was on its way. So it has its uses. This message that I got, though, was different.
The Moth
The Moth Podcast: Family Matters
It was well-written and with almost impeccable grammar, so clearly not spam, and it hailed all the way from Munich, Germany. Dear Alicia, it read, I do some family research and I would really like to drop Ken Kenworthy a line. Ken Kenworthy may have known my biological mother. Ken Kenworthy is my father.
The Moth
The Moth Podcast: Family Matters
So I googled this German gentleman with almost impeccable grammar and I came across his LinkedIn and there was a photo of a man who is the spitting image of my father staring right back at me. And I took a deep breath and I thought how exactly to tell my father he too had missed a delivery notification for a son. The thing is, my dad and I don't really talk.