Alan Martin
Appearances
This American Life
851: Try a Little Tenderness
And then, the next morning, Alan stepped out of his house and... There was this crow sitting in the front lawn at a close distance to the steps, and it's just staring right at me.
This American Life
851: Try a Little Tenderness
It was a bit off-putting. I couldn't quite figure it out, but I walked down my path and as soon as the crow was out of my sight, that's when I got this thump on the back of my head.
This American Life
851: Try a Little Tenderness
And then I did a few little experiments. I would turn away purposely and walk away and I It would leave the power line attending another hit, and I would turn around just in time, and it would swoop away. And I did this a couple of times. It was just clearly waiting for me to turn away so that it could hit me in the back of the head.
This American Life
851: Try a Little Tenderness
And so, a short while later, when he walked out of his house... I came out, and there was a crow sitting on the line, but it was a different crow.
This American Life
851: Try a Little Tenderness
It was smaller. It was a bit smaller, and it wasn't as bulky.
This American Life
851: Try a Little Tenderness
This crow, when I came outside, it caught at me. It was as if it almost recognized me as if, oh, that's the guy. It caught, and then it left. It flew down the block, and there's a green space at the end of the street. And about a minute later, it came back with the enforcer crow.
This American Life
851: Try a Little Tenderness
Yeah, that was initially. But as the harassment persisted over the coming days, it became a source of anxiety just going outside. So the compassion for the crow, I would say, waned. over time a little bit because of that. And my next questions were, how long is this going to go on for?
This American Life
851: Try a Little Tenderness
I put on a wig and a beard. and the crow was looking hard. You know, it was kind of turning its head a bit side to side. You can tell it was trying to figure out who this was, but it didn't recognize me.
This American Life
851: Try a Little Tenderness
And then I ripped off the beard and the wig and the crow flipped. It flipped out.
This American Life
851: Try a Little Tenderness
It just literally kind of flipped back up into the air a little bit, but it was completely in shock and extremely pissed off. Like, how dare you?
This American Life
851: Try a Little Tenderness
Yeah, it's a relationship of antagonism, and it's not a rewarding one.
This American Life
851: Try a Little Tenderness
If you could have just sat down with them and I could have apologized. And maybe they could have explained why those trees were so important and I could have shown some understanding for them. And maybe we could have worked things out that way. But because we were unable to do that, I just thought food is maybe the next best thing.
This American Life
851: Try a Little Tenderness
And so I found this kind of brass gold-colored plate. It was shiny. And so I put some almonds on it, and I walked outside with it above my head, kind of holding my arm straight above my head. And I laid it out on the lawn.
This American Life
851: Try a Little Tenderness
I did that for another three days. And then, it was on the fourth day, I came outside with the plate, but they weren't calling this time. They seemed more subdued, less aggressive. And I put the plate out, I went back inside, and... That was the last time I saw them.