Adam Devine
Appearances
This Is Important
Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
It was great. It was brutal. I saw like some. Well, I watched it, but also like the clips of it. It was not men who got bloody. It was the women's match. That was absolutely a bloodbath, dude. Yeah, that that was a bloodbath. Yes. But then the men in the cage match also they did some also.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
They were also attacking each other with a screwdriver. Yeah. Yeah. Which I'm like, how do you fake that? And then I'm like, oh, it's rubber. And then they stick it in the belt, the turnbuckle, and it just sticks into it. It's wild. And you're like, oh. So it was crazy. And it was really fun. Everybody was really nice. It was the same guy that owns it, Tony Khan.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
was the guy whose box i was in for the super bowl and who we took out that night and partied with and he's just like this totally nice guy uh who's our age who owns owns the aw so it was fun it was a blast he's the best what did he do before this or what's his what's his story did he invent well he comes from like family money his dad is one of the richest men in the world and he
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
But he's also like a genius. He created this analytic company that sold for hundreds of millions of dollars. There you go. Which get richer. And then from there brought – it was like baseball. It was like Moneyball stuff. Yeah. So then he did stuff like that. And then he was like – I think brought it to his dad and was like, hey, I did this. Now may I –
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
you know, have my true dream come true of owning my wrestling federation.
This Is Important
Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
It's so cool that like, yeah, the fact that like that's his gift to his son is just an entire wrestling federation. That's so freaking sick, dude. Well, he, I don't think he's, I think Tony is the only one hands on. So it started off pretty small and now it's like a multi-billion dollar thing.
This Is Important
Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
Oh, is that what happened? Is that what happened with the XFL? They got bought out? No, no, no, no, no.
This Is Important
Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
I think it depends on the person. I think... I agree. I think Tony... The Khan family has so much money that they... I don't think... a few billion dollars doesn't matter to them. I mean, it does, of course, but it's like, he's like one of the richest men in the world.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
So I don't think that it would, it's like if he, if Tony enjoys running the company and this is what he wants his life work to be, then I think he'll just hang on to it. It's really interesting. I mean, the pay-per-view was awesome. I mean, you've met Tony. He's truly like a savant. He's a really interesting guy. Yes. He has a beautiful mind. Yeah, he has a beautiful mind. Also loves Workaholics.
This Is Important
Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
He was crazy. Yeah. What makes you say that? He can recall, like, he loves Workaholics. He can recall, like, every detail of every episode. It's crazy. And he could do that with anything. He's just, like, one of those guys.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
Yeah. It's not fair. Isn't it crazy when someone is able to... I mean, he knew more about our show than I did. And I'm like... He was quoting it to me, and I'm like, uh-huh. Yeah. And he's like, that's from the show, episode whatever. I forgot, like, episode names. I'm like, that's from our show? And he's like, yeah. And it was the name of it. And I'm like, oh, yeah.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
Yeah, I'm just saying you have a tight butthole, dude. Like, it's from your show. You're like, what? My show? My show? Tight butthole. That doesn't seem like a thing Larry King would say. Yeah, that's from Larry King. That's Larry King live interview we did. What the hell?
This Is Important
Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
Today on This is Important. At 43 years old, I'm still discovering my body. So people think that I'm a psychopath. I can guarantee that I can get Isaac to fuck me up.
This Is Important
Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
But yeah, so I showed up and they were like, hey, how physical are you willing to get? Yeah, what was up with that part? They didn't hear about you? Yeah. Yeah, I was like, my hips might explode if I have any physicality at all. And I was like, you know, I'm not a professional wrestler. And they were like, no. Cat him?
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
Just exactly. They're like, cat him, is it? No, they get in there and just grab him by the throat. And don't worry, he can handle the rest. Oh, my God. That's so cool. That is like truly like one of the fucking coolest things. You were in the ring.
This Is Important
Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
or you knew i mean this is a lifestyle but maybe it was subconscious i'm just gassed on my boy how was the pop was the crowd hyped or were they going wild uh yeah i saw leslie jones was there going absolutely psychotic oh no shit oh she was losing her fucking yeah dude she but that was after that was after she came she came a little late did she wrestle no she's just there to scream sure
This Is Important
Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
Just there to scream, dude. To be a fan. And she likes it. Apparently. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw some footage of her. She was like cheering her ass off, dude. Yeah, she was. She was. And I was like, dude, Leslie, pace yourself. Like, pace yourself. It's a long... We're here for like another three hours. Oh, it's so long, dude.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
It's a long event. And she didn't and then never ran out of steam. I'm like, Could you imagine Leslie Jones in high school? Like, imagine that, like, teachers quit, right? What do you mean? Sure. Like, teacher, like, just, if she has, brings that same AEW energy into the classroom. No.
This Is Important
Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
What is the Pythagorean theorem? Can you pull it out? It is A squared plus B squared. That's for sure not how it's pronounced. Pythagorean. Pythagorean. Pythagorean theorem.
This Is Important
Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
Yeah. Oh, math. I mean, I can barely foil a math equation. I don't know.
This Is Important
Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
That's cool. When your kids ask for help, you're like, nah, nah. They just teach it different now, man. I don't know that. Yeah. Oh, okay. Thanks. No, no, no. It's different. Nah, your homework's way different now. It's way different. Go talk to your mom. She might be able to figure out the new different. Yeah, she knows. Dad, I need help. Oh, Ohio. Oh, I need help. Whippity toilet. Daddy.
This Is Important
Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
My parents would break it up. Like, my dad handled all math questions and math questions. I got you, bro.
This Is Important
Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
I got you. What do you need to know? Hey, you're in there now, right? I'll tell you what to stay away from. You're nine years old now. My dad hilariously would always say, well, I never did heroin. Anytime it brought up about drugs. And I'm like, so you did would do meth. And he was like, well, they didn't call it that. Then never did heroin. He's like, I never did meth.
This Is Important
Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
Why Oklahoma? I'm just reminiscing on Oklahoma when we went there. It was one of our best live shows.
This Is Important
Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
And I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. But it's because your mom's like, we got to leave Oklahoma. He's talking to his two year old like this.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
I didn't do it. I didn't do it. Never did it. No, I don't see that for him because, you know, needles and shit. He's an upper guy. Oh, yeah.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
I think I heard that. Life is a highway. Absolutely. I heard that D.A.R.E., you know, D.A.R.E. is still a program. I heard they took weed off the D.A.R.E. list. Like they don't teach you that weed is a bad drug anymore.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
Absolutely. Yeah, but that's kind of, that was like a major, what the hell did they teach you about?
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
Yeah, so now they don't, I don't know. I wonder if they're like really just kind of like weed's cool. Now, this is just a thing that someone said in passing to you and you didn't check into it at all. And they probably are teaching them. No. I read the news, dude. They give you weed. I read the news. Wait, you read the news? Yes, on X.com, dude. What are you talking about?
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
Hey, can you guys check my page? I got phished and was locked out of my X account months ago. And it has to just be a porno page now. Hey, fingers crossed. Could you guys check for me? I can't. Chloe also was fished months ago. Let me just brace myself for dog fights. Really? Yeah. Are they using it for nefarious purposes? I haven't noticed that.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
I feel like I would have noticed if you were posting a ton of porno. Dude, right off the bat. Right off the bat. I like this.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
yeah no if you're on this is crazy you don't you don't fuck you don't it's it's it just is like go join go join a fucking ultimate frisbee league or something go just get out just go oh well it says my last post was a tii promo yeah you're not you're not hacked you're not hacked well that's good if you are then well i was and and then i'm locked out and i cannot get back in
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
The last TII post was the history of Fuddruckers, which is a great episode. That's a great episode.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
fucking thing sucks that's all people are trying to do nowadays is just waste their time you're just trying to get through the day yeah no i get it yeah there ain't shit to do yeah nobody's playing ultimate frisbee anymore we gotta bring it back we gotta start a league bro we have to we have to uh i can't walk but yeah let's start let's the first sport back is bro i just saw
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
Yeah, that sucks. That sucks. Poor O.K. Yeah. O.K. State. The bar was cool. We got to eat some really good cheese. It was good. You know, I grew up in Oklahoma. I was there. I lived there for two years. You're in Oklahoma? For a half of a year to two and a half, I think I was in Oklahoma. Are you saying the year of the age?
This Is Important
Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
Hey, and by the way, I'm fucked since both of those things. The ripping and the tearing. I mean, I did multiple rehabs today. Today.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
No, it was a chiropractor who also does some like... low low grade body work stuff and he hooks me up to this like uh it's sort of like a tens unit but it's a what unit tens unit it's where they put these patches on you okay and a tens is like it makes your muscles twitch the stem stem pads stimulation yeah those are wild but then this i think it's called new gen x or something not new gen x
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
There you go. I got this. Yes, boys! But anyways, so instead of like 250 pulses a second, it's like 25,000. So I'm fully cranked up. And then I'm doing this functional patterns, which is a way to like help your posture.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
What age? Age. Yeah. What do you mean the year? Adam, do this to explain. What do you mean the year? He's shunting us. The year half a year to two and a half? What does that even mean? I thought you lived there for half a year to two. That's what I thought too. Yeah, you weren't wording it clearly. Okay, okay. And that's on me, dude. Don't shunt me with your swinging door. God damn.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
What's your little penguin flipper? My bee, dude. Wait, so you were six months old? Yeah, it was six months to two. My dad was driving for Frito-Lay. Frito-Lay chips. What a legend. Where were you before? Waterloo, Iowa. Where were you after? Iowa. They always come back, don't they? I'll eventually get back. Yeah, you never lived there.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
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This Is Important
Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
But my parents said that they had to move because I came out in the front yard and said that it looks like it's fixing to rain. Oh. And they were like, we can't. We can't have this accent. That shit's important. This is too thick for our northern blood. I mean, yeah, I think I was a little bit of a dunce at two and a half. And I also OD'd on what were the painkillers that everyone used to?
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
This wasn't a step and repeat. A full-fledged carpet, dude. They really spent... Well, they spent an amount of money. I was going to say they spared no expense, but there was an expense. Expense. Yes. Expense.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
No spoilers. It's fucking... really cool dude it's insane yes it's an insane first episode it is really cool Bradley Cooper is the spoiler spoiler spoiler I mean it's already out you should have watched it you should have watched it that's true well if that doesn't entice you yes that's all we'll say though right Adam we can't spoil further than that but B. Coops is in the building.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
And it's a prequel set in the Civil War. Okay, come on, bro. There it is. Okay. And how's it end? Oh, come on. He finds Christianity and he decides he's going to take this preaching thing serious. And that's how the Gemstones got into preaching. But it was done really, really well. And I think critics loved it. Mixed bag, I think, from some of the fans that were excited to see us.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
But I think the fans, the true Gemstone fans, they loved it.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
Leave them wanting less, right? It's really cool. That's what I always say. And that one is directed by Danny as well, right? Yeah, Danny is very smart. He chooses to direct the episodes that might actually win awards. Where none of us are in it, it's Bradley Cooper as the star. He's going for Emmy for sure. That was Emmy or bust.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
You got to watch it. This episode is rad. And at least we'll finally be nominated for something. But it's super cool. It's a great episode. And then next, next week we're back. Okay. Hell yeah. And you'd be proud of us. You saw us the next day, but you would be proud of us. We did not tie one on that night. I love it. We, we went, we had a good time.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
in bed by 1 a.m yeah sure a responsible 1 a.m the responsible 1 a.m-er yeah you know uh yeah i felt great about the whole ordeal yeah it was it was it was responsible i was a little worried i was a little worried by about blake because i left him at the after party i was like okay i'm leaving oh the star of the show's leaving i'm leaving the star of the show's leaving and blake's like
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
He's just spinning off in the corner trying to kiss Isaac. Isaac was not there.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
You're so closeted, you bitch. He kept saying that. Let's come out.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
You guys are such good storytellers. If I wanted Isaac to fuck me, it would happen tonight. I'm telling you.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
I couldn't make him, but I would get him to fuck me tonight if I really wanted him to.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
Blake, do you have an empty cup of coffee or something nearby? I'd love to.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
for you to try it for us i have a full cup yeah could you show an example of it because it's it's actually pretty interesting that you brought this up at first i was like oh god here we go and by the way at 43 years old i'm still discovering my body you're a lifelong learner i feel like isaac and you well he hasn't discovered mine all the way yet but if i wanted him to he would be discovering it as soon as we wrap up here he i could have him at my door it's just interesting
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
Oh, yes, yes. This was the... Ludes? This is a classic story. Ludes. Ludes, yeah. You told it live. Yeah, Quay Ludes. Quay Ludes. Yeah, your mom saw an angel. Did I tell that live in Oklahoma? Because that would have been a great place to tell it. You did. You did, for sure. Okay, good. Don't remember. Don't remember.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
You should. Bring it back. I've discovered the snot rocket. It is really a beautiful tool.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
You're going to want to get on YouTube for this, people. And it just drains. Really? Okay. You're going to want to get on YouTube. Bust out the plaque, by the way. This is how we get 100K, people. Yeah. You know what? We got the plaque.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
and i like it i like it i like the hardware i like the hardware boy here it goes but then i watch other other things and you see like like some podcasts you've never heard of before and it just kind of winds up in your feed with two girls you've never heard of or you know whatever and you're like girls yeah and you're just like i've never heard of them before and then you notice they've
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
It just makes me go like, maybe we should work harder on our YouTube. I know we won't. That's not happening.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
Whatever. At least I did it. If you notice, on the back, there's these two holes. I think I'm going to make it into a necklace and wear it around. I think I'm going to make this my chain. Is that kind of tight? Yeah, go for it.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
I think that'd be a huge flex to go to the Cha-Cha Lounge with that on. Hidden Chipotle. Yeah, dude. Panda Express. Don't act like you eat Panda Express by yourself, dude. I 100% do. Blake, there's one. I lived with you for years. I never saw you eat food alone.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
dude i never saw you eat food alone i actually was at panda express like two days ago and a girl asked me for a picture and i i said yes but i wanted to deny it because i was kind of like embarrassed that i was there is that weird no that is you have to lean in lean in why did i have shame about being at panic express i fucking love panic spread because you're a bitch i i don't know you have shame around eating food i don't know what it is
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
I don't know what it is. Well, I took the photo. That's why I lived with you for seven years and I never once saw you eating. I never came home and saw you eating. So that means you probably were just eating alone in a car. He heard your keys and he would hide the food. When we lived together, I was dead broke. I could not afford even Panda Express.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
The one thing I would eat was like a sleeve of saltine crackers with somersaults. Hey, we'll see. Blake, that's the crazy thing, dude, because we were also living in the same place, paying the same amount of rent. Neither of us had parents that were helping us out. How was I able to eat food? Is it real? I didn't eat summer sausage and saltine dinners. Here's the other thing.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
If you recall, I was a food delivery driver. I would eat at my work, okay?
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
No, but if the order was a mess up or whatever, definitely it is not coming back to the shop. And you mess up by spitting in it? Be like, oh, they're spitting this one. They're spitting this one.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
scumbag or just person what kind of food is it doesn't matter not theirs total scumbag total scumbag yeah i don't i don't like that i think if someone paid for the food uh they should have all all of their food yeah that's totally fucked up that that actually breaks code and as a delivery driver that is extremely frowned upon And against.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
Absolutely not. Death by Oonga Bunga. Like, steal fries, I think, would be the number one thing. Right. Okay. I might have done that. Wait, wait.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
Well, I mean, I'm saying, like, if it, like, fell out of the container... If it, like, shook loose, like... Well, dude, if it's... The container's closed.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
That's what I'm saying. But it's, like, the same as, like, if you go to a restaurant and you sit at a table that hasn't been bussed yet and there's fries there, you can't eat the fries.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
So wait. So you are going to a table that hasn't been bussed yet. Correct. And there's a whole basket of fries. They've coughed all over these fries. There's no like a child. The child had like stuck it up his nose, put it back in the fry basket. Then you go and eat those fries, dude. There's a reason that you have had this cold for weeks and weeks is you're disgusting, bro. Hold up.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
Yeah, I fell out of a tree once, but that's not as cool. I fell out of a tree and broke my arm, but that's not as cool as.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
No, no, no, no. And yes, I did do this recently, but it was before I had this cold. It might have been really around that time.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
What did I get at Panda? I actually got a responsible order.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
The power greens, the veggies. I get a bowl. That's my responsible order.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
Okay, I agree. I thought Blake didn't, and I was so ashamed. But also, even as shameful as getting orange chicken on, Lettuce?
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
No, no, no, no. It's actually kind of a healthy meal. Dude, this is, and not to keep harping on the low T, but this is such a low T move.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
As doing lewds and shit. Yeah, no, that's just a thing that happens to kids, but like getting hit by cement trucks and ODing on lewds, dude. Epic lewds.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
And the fact that you're shocked by it. Yeah. Why? What is wrong with eating greens, power greens? Well, not at Panda Express, dude.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
They're good, dude. They're delicious, and it's actually kind of healthy.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
It's too late, dude. You ate the orange chicken. That is a day's worth of calories right there.
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There's a big difference between 300 calories and 2,000 calories. Look at us when you talk to us.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
Don't you look away. Look at me. If we were in person, I would sit in your lap, okay? What?
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
That's not what I meant, all right? I said I'd look you directly in the eyes, all right?
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
There's a huge difference between getting a panda bowl with power greens and orange chicken and then getting the two entree plate, which is going to be Half chow mein, half rice, orange chicken, broccoli beef. That's when daddy's really hungry, okay? Which, by the way, you've never... You've never gotten that order. I've gotten that several times in my life. Not by yourself, dude.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
Not by yourself. You don't know what I do by myself. Dude, I know what you do.
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I go to Pan Express. Dude, I know what you do. I know what you do by yourself, and that is eat Power Greens or nothing. Or you just swallow a bunch of air and then go to the bar.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
That's what my mom says. Yeah. Well, I'll quickly retell the story. It's been a while. Okay.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
Because they don't use beef anymore and they fucked it up. Yeah, yeah. They fucked it up, man. Fries are trash. Fuck!
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
Burger She Wrote guy, but there are very, a lot of delicious options.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
I mean, it sounds like your mom was on the loose. I don't have to. You guys tell me. Should I tell the story or should I not tell the story? Okay. We're taking... Wind it up. We're taking the boat and... And it's been a while. Go ahead, man. Wind it up. Okay. All right. So my mom's friend and neighbor, she was having problems with her boyfriend. Okay. Well, act interested.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
And I like them sometimes, but also I like a big, plump, juicy, give me all that meat. A big kahuna burger. Cheeseburger. So you like a big patty now. A beefy patty. I do. I like all cheeseburgers, but there's so many smash burgers. I'm like, well, where... What about the classic backyard barbecue? Here's what I'll say about smash burgers, okay? You can't really have a bad one.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
They're all, like, equally delicious. But when you get, like, a burger burger that's very good, it's set apart from the rest. But I feel like that is correct. Smash burgers are all kind of the same deliciousness.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
Isaac says, I thought Blake likes Hamburger Mary's, which is the gay burger place in West Hollywood. Yeah, Isaac has a lot of really funny jokes. You know what? Just for that, we're going to lunch there, Isaac. Okay? Really funny stuff. I will say Hamburger Mary's was when I first moved to L.A. I was driving around with my parents.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
And we were driving through West Hollywood because I didn't know where they should stay. And I just picked the Ramada Inn in West Hollywood, which is the gayest hotel.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
Yeah, it was painted pink and there's rainbow flags out front. The best. Yeah, Blake, I see... He wears a skirt and kind of walks in front of the hotel. Something along that. But we were stuck in traffic and we were right by the Hamburger Mary's. A hardcore gay porno was playing on the television screen. At Hamburger Mary's? At Hamburger Mary's. It was at night.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
Dude, West Hollywood is tight. It's a good time. And I'm a little pissed that we never have gone out there as a crew and just, like, tore up West Hollywood. I feel like we have. I think that'd be fun. You know what I've never done that I really would actually love to do is go to like the gay pride parade in West Hollywood. I've never done that as a law student in Torino.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
Yeah, I know, but I would like to at least go once. It seems like a good time. You and Isaac. I feel like you guys can sort it out. Hey, Blake, any take-backs?
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
I would love to do a double down. I would love to go to a... Gay Pride Parade in West Hollywood.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
I would love to double-down, man. Yeah, we should add double-downs. I feel like we're doubling down a lot lately. And if you guys want to come with me, I would love to go with you guys. I think that would be really fun. I would go if we could ride a float and be part of it. Fuck. Okay.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
Dude, when in Rome. Yeah! When in Rome. Have you met Rome? Oh, you know, you brought up Jean-Claude Van Damme. I just finished this audio book called The Last Action Heroes. And it's the triumphs, flops, and feuds of Hollywood's last action stars. And it follows, you know, obviously Arnold and Stallone. Mm-hmm.
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Steven Seagal, Jackie Chan, Chuck Norris, Dolph Lundgren, Bruce Willis, and all of those.
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Both of you looked down. Dirt's just like sipping on something. You're like picking your nose. You're off in the corner. Are you going to... What do you want us to do?
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No, it lasted through the 90s. What's the one where they're all in it together? Expendables. Yeah, I'm sorry. I thought you said 91. I would never do it. I think Expendables is kind of like the tip of the cap.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
Yeah. But it was really cool. That sounds awesome. Yeah, it was fucking awesome. I loved it, dude. The last action hero. So if you drive a lot, check that out.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
and here's my question though are is is fucking chris hemsworth and these marvel guys are they action heroes nope well i mean yes but it's aren't they filling that space he said yeah but you're going well yes well the way that they explained in the book and i agree with the guy you have to do a ton of cocaine is that nick d simelin uh yeah i'm sticking with that pronunciation
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
Good old Nick DeSimone. You're not going to see a Chris Hemsworth movie. You're going to go see Thor. I agree with that. And that is the difference. With an Arnold movie, you are there because it's Arnold. Right.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
You're not telling it for us. Okay, fine. If you guys want a quick bathroom break. Fine, I'll quickly tell the story. Here we go.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
So I was, my mom was having, her friend was having problems with her boyfriend. And so she took us over to their apartment. We lived in an apartment complex. Sat me down on the couch. Was talking to the mom, the other woman in the living room, or in the kitchen. My mom looks over at me and I have that little naughty little boy face on. They're like, ooh, ooh, doing something naughty.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
And she goes, what you got there? And I came over and there was like a baggie full of lewds. But there was only like a few left. And my mom goes, how many – were in here. And she was like, I think that was full of like, like a full, like inch thick all around the bottom. And so I had eaten like a solid, like 10 lids. Like it was like death. And then out of nowhere, Ding dong.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
A man with a white cowboy hat rings the doorbell. Obviously there to buy Quaaludes.
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It's popping, dude. So my mom was like, quick, you have to take my son to the hospital. And this guy's like, I guess so, little missy. And then took us the wrong direction from the hospital and took us to a pharmacy. Went in, bought EpiCac, came out. I puked all over his truck. When we got to the hospital, the doctor was like, he would have died if we would have drove straight to the hospital.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
He needed to get this out of his system. Just another example of Adam Devine cheating death. This man saved... his life, and then he was nowhere to be found. Wow.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, he was nice enough to save the kid's life. I feel like a lot of people would have been like, no peace. This is too much for me and my coiled brain.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
Stand for something's right. You're into kids, for sure. What? Saving kids. What? Saving kids. Okay. Yeah, so that's the story. That's a good one. Yeah, that was a... My mom still is convinced that it was an angel that was... And my dad's like, for sure he's there to buy drugs.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
I don't know if Blake knows this. And Durs actually has seen this couch too. It's the couch that I lived on for many years and moved out to California with. And then it made its way all the way to Hamlin. Not to Hamlin. It made its way to Packard Street. Wow, dude. We should have checked it in between.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
Wow, dude. And the reason we got that couch was because he felt so bad that that woman felt so bad that I almost died on the couch. She gave us the couch. How funny would it be if we found like way, way more drugs in the couch?
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
It's like... That's what I'm thinking. Did we check the cushions? There might have been a stash. Maybe she was trying to hook you up.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
Yeah, it was a very 1970s... Yeah. I mean, it was a used couch in a... I mean, maybe they had some money, though, because they were dealing drugs. Yeah, you never know. Usually people that deal drugs have, like, one nice piece of furniture, you know?
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
Yeah, usually, like, an armchair. Yeah, it was before you could buy a, like, giant TV. So I feel like the flex in the early 80s was you get, like, a lot of glassware.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
Chloe's into interior design just because she loves spending my money. It's cool.
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The cubes. I think they're ugly, but, you know, what do I know? Everything comes back around.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
You know what I mean? Do people have the boss over for dinner anymore? Not really, right? I don't think so.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
It's all Zoom. It ruined the dinner. Yeah. You Zoom in. That's cool. Have the missus cook up a nice hot meal for the boss. Dude, I would be so fucked. Or the mister. Who doesn't know how to cook shit. We would be so fucked. Yeah. Yeah. And I also don't know how to cook. Do you guys ever cook? Uh, no. I mean, I, I, I cook. I mean, I grill food. I grill salmon and chicken.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
Yeah, so I grill salmon and chicken every week as a meal prep. That's how I fucking maintain this, dog. Good for you. I'm a dude. This new jawline I got. Uh, a lot of, a lot, I was getting a lot of, uh, A lot of love from people saying, I love your new healthy lifestyle. Multiple people said that to me at the AEW wrestling event I went to the other night. Okay. I like this segue.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
It was a segue, but it was true. Multiple people. At the pro wrestling live event and saying, I love your new healthy lifestyle, Adam. More than one person. Were these wrestlers? Were these just ushers? One wrestler, one famous actor, Paul Walter Hauser, and then just a dude in the stands. Like, okay. Yeah, he said glow up. Paul said healthy lifestyle.
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And then the other wrestler also said healthy lifestyle. Okay. Because I think they don't drink. I think that was code.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
Yeah, I think that's code to not drink. But if they would have said that, I would have been, I hate it. Right, right, right. I wish I could gargle in booze every night, but...
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
I mean, aside from the compliments on your healthy lifestyle, I would like to compliment your excellent form when giving a choke slam. Holy smokes.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
Yeah, at AEW Revolution. Revolution. Revolution. I didn't know what an insane event. Those guys throw a real banger, dude. It feels just as insane. And in fact, I liked it more than the WWE events. Okay, okay.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
Yeah, different league. So it's like the WCW in the early 2000s or the late 90s. When was WCW? Late 90s. Yeah, early 90s. It was the younger years, but it spanned through all those. Wasn't that WWF? They were competing. Sting was in the 90s.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
WWE is WWE because WWF is World Wildlife Federation, which they ended up suing them way, way later. Yeah, it was way late, dude. Yeah, it was kind of crazy. That was lame.
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
and wcw and aew are not related in any way god they're not but it's but it's it's someone trying to go up against the book that is the wwe and it is a bit that is yeah it is gigantic but it was cool it was way more raw dude there was this cage match and there were People were bleeding all over the place. Real blood. I'm sitting ringside. That's how I roll. So blood is back. Blood's back.
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Blood is back, dude. It was crazy. AEW brings the blood for sure. They were pouring thumbtacks all over the ring. And then from the very top of the cage were backflipping guys into the thumbtacks.
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insane and then you run back you know because we're allowed to go behind the curtain right so i'm back there and i'm like oh hey man wow it's like and those are real thumbtacks he still was picking them out of himself he's like oh yeah yeah one stuck in my heel i can't get it out that one that one is painful give me a hell yeah i will admit that one is painful and you're like jesus christ dude this is they're maniacs and do you like the blood adam
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Ep 240: Weed Is Cool?
Okay. I will say that I didn't think I would have a thirst for it.
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And I'm like – and it's – I feel so bad for these people. And also in turn, I'm like, this is going to be me, dude. I'm going to like – My wife is just going to have to like wheel me into the living room as I watch my like little son walk for his first steps. I think it's going to go like that. But luckily it's not. So that's been – since I saw you last, dude. That's what you've been doing.
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That's what I've been doing. And that's so stressful. I can imagine, man. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.
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Well, a lot of Australian shepherds get it. My friend Scott has an Australian shepherd. People say I'm an Australian shepherd as a human. I could see that a little bit. Dysplasia refers to abnormal development of growth of cells or tissues, which can be mild, moderate, or severe and can sometimes be a precursor to cancer. Oh. Oh, I didn't know that. I didn't know that.
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I thought that was when your hips get all tight. Yeah, let's look up hip dysplasia. Yeah, that's what I was thinking, hip dysplasia. This guy's trying to upsell us. I thought that would always be like a kind of a cool name for like a 90s hip-hop group. Hip dysplasia.
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You got to stay limber for all the sitting we're doing. I'm getting at the age now where I can't sit for too long, dude.
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Hip dysplasia, a condition where the hip joint does not develop properly. Yeah.
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The exact cause of hip dysplasia is unknown, but it may be related to genetics, position during pregnancy, and history of hip dysplasia in the family. Don't have that. Thank God. God, dude. Yeah.
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Like, tell me some... I roll out every day. Dude, I have to roll out. Yeah. I carry around, like, the ball. The ball I really fuck with. I do... I do acupuncture once a week. I do body work at least once a week. I do a thing called functional patterns, which is – it teaches you like how to stand properly using weights and different kind of things.
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And then I do regular physical therapy and that's about it right now. But like – And then I do chiropractor that hooks me up with like this machine that zaps you, you know, like a tens unit, like a stem pads. Yeah. But like this is supposedly like the hot shit machine that zaps you even more. I don't know even what it does, but I'm like doing everything.
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Yeah, and that sucks. What do you mean? Yeah, just sitting. Just fucking bothers me.
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So like right now when I'm not currently working on a project, it's like five days a week, all week, physical therapy, every week, physical therapy type stuff. Yeah.
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It's almost like having another child. It's like having to take care of yourself like that is really extensive. It's so annoying. And then like I might do this movie and it shoots in South Africa. Yeah. And I'm like running around and it's like an action sort of move. And I'm like, oh, am I going to fuck myself up again?
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So now I'm like looking at projects with a little side eye going like, can I handle this shit? Yeah. What about a calm project?
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yeah i need a nice chill like but peeping tom type of thing oh if i could get a peeping tom gig dude that's where i'd really shine on the ladder yeah yeah if i'm just perched up in a tree but i have like a nice chair like a deer stand yeah you know and but it's just me just like oogling someone that'd be a good gig dude it's sydney sweeney or someone in it i don't know or your wife
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E571 Adam Devine
If you got January Johns in there, you got, uh, who else can you, a lot of people, a lot of people, dude, rear window. That's a, that's a Hitchcock. Wasn't it? Rear window. I think so. Rear Window, I think, was about butt stuff, wasn't it? That was an early... An early anal film. One of the first anal films. I think it was about proctology. It was like a proctologist... Oh, was it?
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Oh, for sure. I couldn't walk for about two years. But then eighth grade, your homie played football. Oh. Yep. Really? Yeah, it was so bad, dude. But they were like, yeah, he could play. And then it was just they made me an offensive lineman. I can't move. It was just like, but I was pretty strong from all the physical therapy. Go around on it. Don't hit me. Yeah.
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But my mom, my mom was like, so worried about me. Right. So she put shin guards on me and arm guards on me. So I was hitting people like.
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My dad was like, take your elbow and jam it underneath their chin. So it's just me going like, and they're like, and I actually, I was like kind of decent. Like it worked. It worked. You were the only guy out there who was just fucking high. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. what? That's crazy, dude. And the devilishness of your father. Oh, dude, my dad's a dirty dog, man. To guide you like that.
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My dad, like, I don't know how your parents were, but my dad, I remember as a kid, I was getting bullied, you know, a little bit. I'm sure, dude. Before, before the accident. Before? Yeah, I don't know. It was just like, there was a bully, right? And my dad was like, dude,
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is does he uh he picks on you is he a lot bigger than you and i'm like he's way bigger than he was held back a grade so this guy was like a fucking monster insane and it was in like fourth he's held back he's a big dummy just let the dumb go with their friends let him go that's a scary part when you keep you're like hey this you hold him back and now he's gonna be now he's mad because everyone knows he's stupid he's angry and dumb yeah
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So now he's in my grade and, and he, yeah, I smell the blood of Adam. And then he is like picking on me. And my dad was like, hit him as hard as you can in the face and then run away. He's like that, like try to knock him the fuck out. And then, He's bigger than you. And I'm like, uh-huh. He's like, then get out of there. Right. So the next day, I was like, he was picking on me.
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And I just was like, blah. And I punched him right in the nose. Did not knock him out. But he didn't attack. He cried like a bitch. Yeah, he did. Yeah. And then and then he and then I think I became his bully, which in turn I've actually heard. I've told this story on on my podcast. This is important. And I told that story.
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And then I found through the grapevine that he thinks that I was his bully. He doesn't remember bullying me. He only remembers me bullying him afterwards because afterwards I just took my dad's advice. So he was like talking shit in class. I just got out a book and hit him in the back of the head. Yeah. Yeah, and like he was talking shit at the top of the stairs. I fucking kicked him.
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And he fell down the stairs, dislocated his shoulder. Yeah, dude. So I think I was like fucking really violent.
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Yeah. It sounds like you were a violent guy. It does. It does. But I thought in my head he's the aggressor. Maybe not. Maybe I'm a little piece of shit, but I thought I was in the right. But I was like, I'm smaller, so I have to be more violent or else I'm going to be the one getting my ass kicked. Yeah, we had a kid at after-school care.
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Yeah, and I think most animals, and I'm also into water.
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Oh, yeah. So she was hitting the urinal or something. No, it's not a urinal. What is it? Where you pray.
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Confessional, right? Way different than a urinal. Yeah, definitely. God, I hope this – God, please make this piss come out right. I'm so sorry.
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And did you do that? I don't remember if we did it or not, but I just remember that advice being like, that is aggressive advice. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, Jeep was problematic and he would body slam other kids and stuff. Yeah, it sucks, dude. Yeah, so. But everybody had a bully, man.
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That's right. It's not new. We've been doing it a while now, but. Did you re-pick it up or something? Yeah, we've just, we don't promote it. So we've just been doing it in silence. Yeah, no one knows about it. It's called This is Important, but it's, yeah, me and the Workaholics guys, it's super fun. Yeah, it's fun, dude. And what a way to keep that thing alive.
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What a way to keep an experience alive. Yeah, it's just a fun way to get together. It was during the pandemic, actually. We started it and we were like, dude, we never see each other anymore. We're bored. Let's just crank this bitch out. Bring up a photo of the gang right there with the pod. Yeah, this is important. We're actually pitching a new show together. Yeah, so the boys might be back. Yeah.
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Yeah. That's so cool. Yeah. What a great group you got with, too. Yeah. Yeah, it's fun.
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But this is years of your life. What's that? Dude, it's way different. Doing movies is so fun, right? It's a lot of work, like way more work than people –
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think they they think it's all glitz and glamour it kind of sucks it's a nightmare yeah it's a lot it really is a nightmare it's a living you're up and you're down and you're up and you're down you're almost like a zombie that has to do some stuff i love it though i i love like putting all the little pieces together and you feel like you're the quarterback of a football team and you know the whole crew's working together and everybody's working for one common goal
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We want to sleep in. But you don't think for him that's kind of fun, though? It's just like, wake up, motherfucker.
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But then when it wraps, a movie, you really only spent like two months together or however long. And so it's like saying goodbye and it's difficult because you've made friends with some of these people. But then on a TV show, it's years and years of your life. And you really form like real friendships with some of these people.
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So I like that better in the way that – like some of these crew people I'm going to know for the rest of my life. And then it's just nice to build a relationship. So that's what I love about TV.
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And I'm like, I'm trying to pitch another show with the workaholics guys and working on a few other projects that I hope I can get off the ground TV wise, because it's nice just to have something that you can come back to every year and grow with the characters and, you know, have it morph over time like gemstones ending like. That show was a wild ride, dude.
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It got us through the pandemic, through two strikes, through all these ups and downs, all this turmoil. It was nice to come back and have this be kind of home base. And I know you just recorded with Danny a couple weeks ago. Yeah, it was great. Isn't he the best, dude? He's so great. I was a little bit nervous. I wish I had just talked about more regular stuff. We talked about like –
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Some family stuff. It was great. Yeah. It was great. You know, you just always kind of have your druthers, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I didn't know – I had no clue what he was going to be like. There's not a ton of stuff out there about him. Well, he likes to be mysterious, you know? And it's good. He does a great job of it.
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And he was talking about how like by not having social media and all that kind of stuff, it just keeps him – it lets him have his brain space for himself. He's like you have to have time to be kind of just where your brain is not doing anything, you know? And he's so good about like –
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doing what he does and not feel I think it's so easy just to be like I have to be everywhere I have to be doing and I feel this way sometimes I'm like why don't I have a Snapchat presence like fucking snap who am I yeah I'm not I'm not like a 14 year old TikTok girl like yeah you'd be a pedophile if you had one yeah I don't need to be a pedophile I just want to everyone's doing it it is Hollywood it's Hollywood man
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Yeah. So he's and he's just the coolest boss, man. It was so. Yeah. You know, you meet him and you're like, I was the same way. You're a little on your heels. You're a little intimidated. Right. Because he's such a presence. And I remember the first time I met him. I was – it was at an after party for like This is the End or something.
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Just so early, just slamming their head against a wall.
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And we were doing a movie that Seth Rogen produced, Game Over Man, which I did with the Workaholics guys. And so we were there at the after party and I was trying to smoke with Seth, like go toe-to-toe with him. And I smoke weed. I'm good at smoking weed, I would say. Not as good as Seth Rogen. Yeah, he looks like he's part of a joint. Yes, he looks like a human joint.
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And so I'm like in a fucking daze, fully crossfaded. And also he doesn't drink, but I do. So I'm like just guzzling vodka while still trying to keep up with him. And you have stiff person syndrome. This is pre-Stiff Person. Okay, okay. This is pre-My Stiff Person. But out through this cloud emerges Danny McBride, and he's on like my Mount Rushmore, you know, a favorite comedian.
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And just seeing him walk up, he just has this – everything that he says is his character. So it's like – Yeah. It's just him. Yeah. And I was like on my heels, and so I go – you're Danny McBride. And he's like, dude, yeah, I know. And he's like, hey, man, nice to meet you. And then I looked at him and I said, you're a bright shooting star. What? Like, what the fuck, dude?
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You're a bright shooting star. I said, I told him you're a bright shooting star, which I think is like a Native American type of thing. It might be a Native American, but it's also like I think from Boogie Nights or something. And so I said, you're a bright shooting star. And he's like, yeah, OK, man. And I grabbed my girlfriend at the time and I was like, we have to leave. We have to leave.
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And she was like, I'm having a good time. Why are we leaving? I'm like, I just called Dana McBride a bright shooting star. Yeah.
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and she was like you're right let's get out of here like yeah you're out of your mind dude let's get out of but he but when he cast me on the show he did not remember that i think he also was pretty cross-faded as well so he didn't remember that he might have been cooking with seth yeah he might have been also cooking with seth so dang dude that's crazy yeah so thank thank god yeah
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E571 Adam Devine
Yeah. And this, we all started, we started to talk about this because of stretching.
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And that's what I wanted to do too. And I remember telling my mom, I'm like, I think I want to go to film school. That way I can learn the other side and then put myself as the lead in projects. And then I could have all the creative control. And my mom, bless her heart, was just like – You're an actor. Just go be an actor. He was like dunking on me a little bit. Like, okay, dummy.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's not push our luck here. Okay.
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Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
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Because humans, they weren't sitting back in the day. That's what I'm saying. I mean, rocks, they're not comfortable. We've made all these comfy chairs, get us all sloven, right? So that's what – I live in Orange County, so I drove up here to do this, among some other things. But I drove up here, and it took like an hour, 40 minutes. And then I get out of my car, and my hips are like –
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My top half of my body will start to lean forward like that. Yeah. Well, you know, my body fell apart, dude. You know I was hit by a cement truck when I was a kid. Were you really? I was, dude. And how full was it? It was a full cement truck. No way. Even if it wasn't a full cement truck, that's still fucked up. But it was a full one, dude. Fulwin's really bad.
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Thank you. Thank you. When biologist Stephanie Stack first saw the photographs of two humpback whales mating in the warm waters of Hawaii, she says her mind was completely blown. When I realized that it was two males, it was not what I was expecting. I thought, oh, my gosh, this is incredible. Says this is the first. She's a biologist at the Pacific Whale Foundation in Maui.
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E571 Adam Devine
It was, I think, 32 tons, something like that. Oh, my God. Yeah, dude. It hit me. I ran over the – like the first – under the wheels and then spit me out. I flew 500 feet, dude. You're lying. Truths. Oh, my God. What's the longest field goal ever kicked? That's insane. Bring that up. Yeah. I probably – I mean, it has to be more than 500. No? Maybe not. How long is the – 66 yards. So quick math.
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which sounds like something that Doge is going to bust soon, says this is the first time humpback whale sex has been documented. She co-authored a paper about the rare sighting in the journal Marine Mammal Science. Yeah, Elon's going to be like, so we've given $2 billion for gay whale porn? Yeah. And we only have one photo.
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If they had a lot of films that could make money on Pornhub, then we'd keep it going. But we got one pick. It's not worth it. You can't even open up an OnlyFans. Yeah, that sucks, dude. That's ridiculous. You know, there's an OnlyFans. I just saw this morning one of the girls on Harry Potter started an OnlyFans. Yeah. I mean, I don't know her. Harry Potter's got less hair on it.
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Allegedly. And these are rumors. I don't remember the girl's name. It wasn't Hermione. It wasn't the number one stunner. Jessie Cave. Jessie Cave. Hermione. Jessie Cave. Harry Potter star Jessie Cave says she's now an OnlyFans now, and her reason why is pretty understandable. Yeah, it's understandable. I think she said she wanted a new roof or something, like she was going to do some home remods.
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Oh, yeah. Which, by the way, I've done some home remods. It's expensive, dude. Oh, it's 50 racks for a roof. It's probably 30 racks for a roof, maybe. Yeah, oh, dude. No, I just did it. It's $80,000.
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I guess a really strong one. Oh. There's, what do they call those, clay shells? What do they call those?
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
Yeah, we didn't get that. I wonder if I could start an OnlyFans just showing off my calves. Oh, yeah. You know, I only got four toes. Nuh-uh. Fell off in the bathtub, homie. After the accident? After the accident.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
One of his little arms or finger. Finger, they call it.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
Hand arms. Yeah, one of the hand arms. Dude, I got hit by a Trans Am when I was a kid. Not to the effect of you. With Trans Am, does that have the firebird on it? It was Silver Trans Am. Bring it up. Silver Trans Am 19... I would say probably 85. Put up an 85 Trans Am. Well, that's kind of sick. That's a cool car to get hit by. It had an aftermarket hood on it.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
And Joe Dirt was driving it, and that's why you were like, I've got to work with Spade. I got slammed right into Joe Dirt. This is sick, dude. I actually wouldn't mind owning that car. That bitch was tough. Yeah, that's a sick car to get hit by. But you have a cool old car, don't you? No, I used to have, I mean, not even old. It was like, I just didn't buy a new one. I used to have a Camaro.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
Oh yeah. Did you have, yeah, I had a, but it was like 2010. Yeah. There's my foot. There's my foot. That's my foot. It's darker. Huh? Yeah. I think it was just the lighting. My it's, it's pretty normal looking. I mean, normal for my legs. It looks fast. Yeah. It looks like those toes can grab something. Like I can reach out, like you throw me a ball and I go, yeah, just snag it out of the gear.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
Yeah. But they can't catch things. They're just regular toes. It fell out. It fell off. I've told this on my podcast, but it fell off in the bathtub when I was masturbating for one of the first times in my life. You're lying. Seventh grade, I was masturbating. I just learned that my penis did tricks. And I was playing with it, and it fell off in the bathtub, dude. Baby girl, why? Yeah. Yeah.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
And what, I don't understand how did it, were you taking blood flow from that area in your wing? Like what was happening? It was, it was hanging on by a thread and they said that it was either going to grow like attach and, and it was going to be fine. or more than likely was so charred, it was just going to flop off.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
188 feet. Oh, my God. So that's like more than double. Yeah. Wow. Oh, my God. Wow. What did you land in? I skidded up the street or down the street, however it goes. And I was hit in one county, and I landed in another county. Nuh-uh. Because the street was like the dividing line between the counties. Still count? Yes, still counts as a cool factoid. And is this the style you got hit by?
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
And it was, I mean, this is gross, but it was maybe one of the first times I ejaculated. And I'm in this bathtub, and I'm like, oh, this is gross. There's stuff in here, and now I'm in this bathtub, and then I see the little toe just floating in the glunk. No. Yeah. And did they meet up? They were, yeah, they were swimming together. Aww. Yeah, it was pretty nasty. Kind of a nasty dude.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
You would think that it would be able to help it. Yeah, all of a sudden it just like regrows. Yeah, all of a sudden it grows a toenail. And then it turns beautiful pink and I just reattach it. I screamed out and then my mom came in and it was like, oh, what? And I'm like, my toe. And then she's trying to fish the toe out. And I'm like, get out of here. Get out. It was wild, dude. Yeah.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
Did you tell your... Well, now your mom knows what happened.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
Yeah, a few times. A couple times. Yeah. Yeah. I do. I do. I'm not afraid to admit. Yeah. Yeah. I like it, dude. I think it's normal. I like it. I don't like it that... I used to like it and now I'm like, what are we doing? Yeah. I understand that and I get that and that's how a normal man should be. But I'm like, when I'm away...
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
Like, you know, wife and kid at home now, if I'm on the road doing something, I'm like, daddy's alone. Yeah.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
They stopped giving lotion in hotels. A lot of hotels, they don't have the lotion nearby. Really? They used to have a small free thing of lotion. They used to always have the lotion. The last few hotels I've been in, nice hotels. They don't have the lotion. I think too many people were jerking off. They were like trying to cut the jerk off numbers. They're trying to knock those down.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
I wonder if there's a shortage or something. Yeah, maybe. It's probably Doge. Yeah. Like what do we do? We're spending all this money on lotion. Like no more. We spent $4 billion on lotion. How do we subsidize lotion, dude?
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
Yeah, it was a similar style. Yeah, so I got taken under those wheels. Those Peterbilt's are nice, huh? Yeah, that's a solid truck. And what happened? Because I have a friend who got hit by a train, right? Not as funny. Oh, yeah, I agree. Yeah. He was doing great.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
Dude, some of the things Doge busted were insane though. Yeah, it is funny. You know, one of them was like $2 million to eliminate some of the alphabet from like Mozambique or whatever. It was like, what? Isn't Doge a meme coin? I thought it was. So it's funny that it's also like we're going with this for the name.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
Like whoever owns the Doge coin is probably kind of stoked that they got, they're getting all this free pub.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
Yeah. Well, now I think he's just – he runs like a sect of the church called Prism. So it's very inclusive. So like if you're gay or non-binary or whatever, something – someone who's been othered by society, you now can join Prism and God's light will shine through me and I shoot the rainbow onto you. Ooh, baby. I love that. We need that. We need –
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
Like when I was younger, there's only like a couple types of gay guys kind of there was like, or it just seemed like there was. Now we need more like, you know, you need more. There's all different types. Yeah. There's all different types now. I understand what you're saying. Like when you're a kid, what you see on like movies and stuff, there's only like. Like a secret gay guy?
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
And he's like, isn't this ironic? Yeah. Yeah, well, don't you think?
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
Yeah, there's a secret, like, don't tell. And then, like, a gay guy who's so straight that you're like, he's not gay. And then the most flamboyant man alive.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
And then a woodpecker, yes. Yeah, a guy who would just come to you. A guy who's, like, waking people up. Yeah, will not shut up about how gay they are.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
I mean, if you were to pick, that would maybe the last pop star that I was going to think you're going to pull out of the crate. But yeah. But now there's like gay construction workers. There's gay like people that are archers. Yeah, I think there always kind of was. But now it's just more popular. Now you know. Yeah. And now you can even in church have a gay section of church, right? Yeah.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
Apparently, according to the Righteous Gemstones, I don't know if other churches are doing this.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
But I don't even think you need a section. Right. That's it.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
I like to see even more like I would love to see gay train conductor or. That's what my dad was. Really? Yeah, he was a train conductor. Uh-huh.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
uh yeah i think you know what i'm sick of is you watch a movie it's like if you hit my friend dude i i mean now that you say it it rings a bell for me uh he uh he didn't hit your friend but he did they he has murdered people really yeah with a train with a train unreal train uh yeah he would say that you go you go he was like it's so gross obviously and my dad's so funny he's like yeah tell you what i'm like a little kid he's told me this story he's like
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
Hit a hobo. Yeah. And I'm like, oh, what? And he's like, yeah. And I'm like, oh, is he alive? I'm a little kid. So I'm like, is he alive? And he's like, no. Looked underneath the train.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
Yeah, so he's murdered both. Bum fights? How about bum with fries, huh? Like, what? Like that, dude. I can't believe that. A little happy meal. A very unhappy meal.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
I think this was Iowa, Nebraska zones. Oh, yeah. Yeah, so that's a good area to – if you – I feel like bums be passing out on train tracks there. If you were to think of like a classic bums be sleeping on train tracks, that would – you think of that area. That's the realm.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
It's like that's the only place – you can be five feet away from there. Just don't fall asleep there. Like why there? Yeah. I don't know. I wonder if it's warm. Maybe the tracks conduct some warmth because the trains go up and down them. Maybe. I was just also maybe 15 feet away. Right. Right. And maybe. And cover yourself up. You know how there's usually rocks along the side?
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
Yeah, look at this warm guy under these rocks, huh? Yeah, dude. Do you think you would be a good homeless person? Let me think for a second.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
I would find a park, stay in it for a couple days and see like an area where nobody really goes. See, that's the hard part because in LA, there's people everywhere. You got to go, you know. And maybe some of these fires were – I mean I don't know. I'm not pointing blame, but like it would make sense. I know if I was a homeless guy, I'd be up in them hills, man. I'd be up in them hills.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
I'd be covered in like coyote skins because I've gone on some hunts, right? And you're just – and then you have a little bonfire and you're just roasting coyotes and stuff for food, right? Yolks, they call them.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
Yeah, roasting some yotes. And then you maybe have your own little barbecue stand, but only for other homeless people. And they're like, oh, shit, I got to roll up in them hills, get some yotes, get a yotes burger.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
Well, I think if you're going to be homeless, you want to be high-end.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
But rich people are like, get this guy. Yeah, get this guy out of here. But you have to be so up in the hills they don't even know you're there. Oh, I see what you're talking about. And you're killing yotes, so you're doing a service. Like rich people don't want yotes around because they kill the – they kill like little dogs and stuff.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
If you have some used Burberry or whatever, throw it back there. I think that's how you have to do it because you don't want anyone – no one wants just someone living right behind their house and they don't know the guy. Like you want to be like, hey, what's up? Hey, what's up? I'm Theo. I'm going to be living directly behind your house. I'm going to be on the lookout for yotes.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
You'll sleep. If you got like a dirty blanket or something that you don't want anymore, toss it my way. But I'm not asking for anything. I'm not asking. I'm just out here. I'm protecting your home, honestly. If you hear somebody singing Jewel once in a while, that's me. Yes, just singing.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
these foolish games yeah and also that's a beautiful song so they might they might yeah i think there is a way to live symbiotically with homeless people i think the problem is in some districts homeless people start to battle against each other yeah homeless territory can you bring up some of that you don't like that territorial fights oh yeah there's straight wars dude
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
Well, there's a lot of that. And there was a group of homeless people that attacked a Renaissance fair one weekend. Really? You couldn't tell who's who? Like, you don't know who's fighting who? You're like, either he's Renaissance guy or he's homeless. I know he's covered in fur and eating a turkey leg, but... That's either a turkey leg or a yote leg. I'm not sure which one it is.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
But it's effective is all I'm saying. Those heavens are effective. Yeah. So you're walking. Where are you when this happens? It was Omaha, Nebraska, and we were going across the street to get candy or whatever. And, I mean, true facts were we were going to, like, we would steal pages out of Playboy or Penthouse.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
The yotes are thick, homie. That's all I'm saying. You got some thick yotes in them hills.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
Most hobos have a campsite. Tread softly. They know their area extremely well. And I've seen a couple of really interesting alert systems. Alert systems. I've heard of some being booby trapped, but never encountered that myself. Okay, and I like that on this forum we're bringing back the word hobo because I don't think hobo is a derogatory term.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
In fact, if I was homeless, you know how now you have to say there's like a new term for homeless? It's called like unhoused. Unhoused, I think. Right. I think hobo's better. Hobo's like a fun, like, you think you have a stick and a knapsack, you're riding the rails. Yeah, it's like a more fun term. I, personally. Who's got a tangerine for Danny? Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
Yeah, that's the kind of shit, yeah. Oh, God, being a hobo. My buddy rode on trains. He jumped train cars for a little while. I think that'd be fun to do.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
Is that who it is? That rings a bell. Bring up hobos. How do they travel mostly? My dad said that part of his job was to go up – walk up and down the trains and kick them out. And my dad was like, I'd let them sleep. He's a good man. It's just crazy that your dad – what's up, Dennis? That your dad hit people with trains and then you got hit by something.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
Yeah. So, yeah, bums, that kind of – I mean you don't want to be called a bum. If they call you a bum, you're like offended. I don't travel. I don't work. I don't do anything. A hobo is like, hey, I'm getting out there. I'm mixing it up. I'm willing to work. I'm willing to work. I'll travel. Yeah, we'll travel.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
But I think one of the things is a lot of them die in the train cars because they close the door and they don't realize that they can't unlock it from the inside. Yes, and it gets super hot or super cold. Yeah, and also my dad says sometimes they're grain cars. And you can climb up and then the grain is like open. And you can climb in and then you sink into the grain. No. Yeah.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
I don't know that song. Was that something you just made up? Crazy like that.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
Oh, dude. I wish I knew more Jewel. I wish I had a deeper knowledge of Jewel. You know, my house was just broken into the other day, dude. What?
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
Different house, different house. Wow. I have a house in Hollywood. And, yeah, they broke into my house in and out in under eight minutes. Pros, dude. That's a long... Eight minutes? Eight minutes, bang. Adam Devine, cops take a... Scary spill. This is the second part of this story. Okay. So then they robbed my house, and then they totally destroyed my security system.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
By the way, security system didn't do shit. They dismantled it like that. These guys are pros. They just came in. They cut some wires. It was done. And then they were gone. So I'm like, I've got to redo my security system. So I pay for them to come and set up the whole thing again. And – And then the cops come because they didn't do it right. The alarm goes off. I'm out of town. So the cops come.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
They're checking the property. This poor cop falls 15 or so feet like trying to check out my property, breaks his arm. No. Gun goes flying. Baton goes in a bush. Dude. Did they catch it? It's a gnarly fall. No. So when the alarm goes off, there was no one there. God. I get a call and the cop's like, hey, do you mind if we walk through your doors unlocked?
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
magazines and we were like you know 12 11 11 and uh so that was our move we would go there we'd rip out i don't know why we didn't just steal the magazine because the ripping sounds loud it's way louder but in little kid brain i was like it's not as bad if we only steal a few pages that's fair like it's we're we're gonna get in less trouble if we get caught right like i got one page i only got a couple pages yeah
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
I'm like, oh, did I get robbed again for the second time in two weeks? And he's like, can I walk through your property? So I'm like, sure. He walks through. I don't get a call. And then my neighbor calls me and he's like, hey, is everything OK? He sends me a video of this. I'll show you later of this cop absolutely eating shit. I felt so bad for him. Also, you don't want the cops to hate you.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
And did he fall off of something? Off of a ledge or something? Yeah, so how they broke into my house was also where they were checking. You can climb up the side of this hill to get in my bedroom. And they smashed a window to get in. But... But the cops, when they put the window back in, my contractor didn't lock my door. Like a fucking bonehead, right? Like a hobo. Like a true hobo move.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
That's a tramp move. Bomb move almost. Almost. I won't say that because that's too offensive to my contractor. But that was a tramp move, Greg. God, why'd you do it? Yeah, so the cop went what? One cop went in the house, didn't find anyone lurking. And then the other cop, I guess he was being a nice dude. He was like, I got some mud on my shoes. I don't want to tramp through this guy's home.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
So he tries to climb back down, split splat, falls 15 feet. He gets up, his arms kind of dangling like this. And the other cop is down there. He's like, are you okay? He doesn't say, you know, when you're in a lot of pain, you don't say a word. Like a lot of like, you make a sound that doesn't have any sound. Yeah. It's like, yeah. And so he didn't say anything.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
And I was like, oh, this guy is – he's not feeling right. Yeah. Felt bad for the poor guy. And did the burglars steal a lot of things that were important or no? No. They – I mean it was just like – TVs and shit. Not even. They were like in and out in eight minutes. They stole like my wife's purses and stuff, which by the way, I didn't know how much purses were.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
I was a little offended that this woman has this many purses. I was like, oh, there's just a few purses. And then she told me how much purses cost. I'm like – You got to stop buying purses, lady. Damn. You're not going to have anything to put in the purses. Yeah, exactly. I'm like the point of a purse is to hold the things that are important. But evidently the important thing is the outside.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
I didn't know that. That's kind of crazy. It's kind of an anomaly for what life is like or whatever. I don't know if anomaly is the right word, but that's unbelievable, dude.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
yeah yeah so it's like this second time that house has been robbed i'm a little bummed so i wonder if that's just happening more now do you hear your neighbors and stuff talking about it or yeah so uh blake in his neighborhood has been a lot of thieves in the midst as well um they're saying it's like gangs like gangs are coming in and they they like know their because this these guys took my internet down they like had an internet blocker
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
So they pulled up, disconnected the internet. So that way the alarms won't go off or anything. Yeah, and so they – well, the alarm would go off, but the like ring cameras went down. So like I didn't even know. I didn't even know it was robbed until my gardener was like cleaning and was gardening. And he was like, Mr. Adam, I don't think –
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
There should be a hole in your window, but it was right after those big winds we had, the El Ninos, the Santa Anas. You've been through a lot. And I was like, did a rock fly through the window? Yeah, what could have happened? Yeah. I was like, yeah, what flew through? Did a mango, did an orange fly through this window? Was it a run by fruitine? But it wasn't.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
It was a criminal organization in my home. Yeah, dude.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
i wonder if they're tracking people knowing when people are out of town if they're like especially if they're actors and stuff if they're working at certain times or just yeah maybe it's a brave move just to climb up somebody's balcony and see what's going on dude it was at 8 21 p.m like a time when people are out walking dogs and stuff so yeah they would have been home yeah it would have been home yeah just chito vera just had somebody pull up on him you see that video
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
I got like half a tit here, mom. It's still a magazine. It's just a magazine. You still have the rest. Yeah. Yeah. And they say they buy it for the articles, mom. So I left the articles. So we would do that. And so my one friend was across the street or my two friends were across the street and they say, come on. And I took that as coast is clear. Coast wasn't clear. Oh. Yeah.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
He's a UFC fighter, and he was working in his truck. This is pretty crazy. Professional UFC fighter Chido Vera was working in his truck as a man with what appears to be a knife tried approaching him. Oh, dude. I mean, first of all, you see this guy working on his truck. He's got neck tattoos? Yeah, this dude pulls up, pulls a knife out right here. Oh, crazy.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
Oh, he's so lucky he didn't get shot in the back. Like, just, like, murder town USA? It shows you two UFC guys that they're ready. They think defense first. Dude, he has a shotgun just laying on his front. Like, that was so easily grabbable.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
Well, that's, I mean, you're ready. You're ready. Those UFC guys are ready, dude. If you even fucking whisper to them wrong, you hit the wrong octave during a secret, and those guys will forget. They just, all of a sudden, they just got, like, throwing stars. Just like, ding, ding, ding. Oh, they will remodel the way you breathe. You have to really... You got to be careful around those guys.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
They're severe. I feel like I couldn't... I mean, I own a gun. It's so tucked away. I would never get to it.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I would like to think. I'm ready, ready to go. Do you say something first? Good evening. What do you do? Well, I was home. My alarm kept fucking up because when they redid it, they fucked up. So it would just go off, which is terrifying. And I'm up there staying by myself. And it was like 1 a.m. I'm like trying to go to sleep. And all of a sudden the alarm goes off.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
After the burglary. And I go – Hello. Yeah. I like lower. I like lower. I lower my voice. I'm like, sound not like me. I mean, so I'm like, hello. I've got a gun. I'm like, I don't have a gun.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
I've got a gun. Yeah, I sound like a guy who didn't make it on The Sopranos. Like he auditioned, but did not get cast. I've got a gun! I've got a gun!
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
Yeah, they're still stealing all my shit. Just like, this guy's good, man. This guy's the best.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
I'm going to miss Charleston. I wish I would have bought a place there just so I had more of a reason to go back all the time. And also not a lot of crime there. So I probably would have been safe. Yeah. Have you been? Have you spent any time in Charleston? I lived in Charleston for a while. Oh, you did? Yeah. I hitchhiked up there to chase a girl that I was in love with that –
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
That's OK. That's OK. It was a little rear window situation. We've all been through some things, right? It was college time. You were practicing for an upcoming role of a stalker. What? I was just – this is – I'm an actor. I'm researching a role. Yeah. They're like, we haven't been, we haven't seen you in any roles.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
Three cementrics are going up the hill as two are coming down. And I couldn't see the other side of the street. It was like suburbs or new houses were sprouting up all over. So three were coming up. Two were coming down. He yells, come on. I'm like, take his word for it. Walked out behind the third cementric. Boom. Bam. Hot damn. Did you even have a second to see it or you were just lights out?
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
Yeah, I know I'm only 17 and I'm not, I've never acted in anything, nor do I have a career. How do you expect me to get a role? Yeah, I've got to practice.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
Yeah, we were – he's like a fucking true athlete. He's got like a real jawline. Mine like ebbs and flows. Yeah, look. He's all jacked. Look at that guy. He's real jacked and juicy. I'm less jacked and less juicy. But I do – what's weird is we work out together all the time and his body morphed into that and I look like how I look like, you know. Like a regular guy. Yeah, like a guy.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
Like it's just a guy you see and you're like, I bet he eats cheeseburgers. Yeah, I hope that guy's okay. Yeah. With me? I think people are like, yeah, I hope that guy's – you know. Like you think I look like I'm not okay? No, I think you seem like – Like, oh, I hope that guy's okay.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
I like that. And I'm not offended. I'm not offended by that. I think that's a fair assessment of what I look like. Yeah, I think I look like – where you're like, ah, maybe that guy works out. My neighbor hilariously saw me. She's like a – she's the daughter of the people that live next door to me. And she was like 22, and she saw me working out in my garage.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
Sometimes I work out in my garage and I have my shirt off. And she stopped and she goes, oh, hey. And I'm like, hey, how's it going? And she goes, wow, I didn't know you worked out. Offended, dude. That's an offensive thing to say to someone. Yeah. So – but I do. Yeah. It's like if you show somebody your wiener, like a chick your wiener, like I didn't know you'd have a wiener. Yeah.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
Yeah. Okay. I think it's fairly obvious that I would have one of those. Yeah. Then I need to get some different clothes, I think, or some gel. Yeah, spruce up. Yeah. I need to spruce up. Grow the facial hair out a little bit. Or spruce down. Yeah.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
A man, a grown man or grown woman. That looks like me. You're just trying to make my father proud. Yeah, that looks like you. That's what I'm making my father proud. He's like, he's going to see me delivering this mail and he's going to look at me and be like, look at this bright shooting star. He's going to see me as Danny McBride at that party walking through the cloud of smoke.
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You're a bright shooting star as I slide into mail through a slot.
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Walk up there, risk getting attacked by a dog because that's all they do all day is battle dogs. Dogs hate mailmen. Battle dogs, battle senior citizens, and gangs that are like, fuck mail. Yeah, they're like, give me that fucking mail. By the way, there's never anything good in mail. It's either like a ticket. It was like, oh, I got to pay this thing. Like they finally tracked me down.
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Or a coupon. Or just a coupon for a place you never want to go to. Yeah. Like, hey, you want a car detail? Drive two and a half hours to this place and I'll give you $15 off. Yeah. You're like, oh, fuck, I don't know. Is that worth it? I feel like the gas is going to offset the discounts. And there's even a lot of the things now, it's like, are you interested in foster care?
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E571 Adam Devine
I don't remember it. This is all what people have told me. Wow. My friend could have thrown me in front of the cement truck for all I know, but I don't, I don't think so. Danny Hendricks did not try to murder me. I don't think so. Danny. Yeah. Or Dan, Dan T or Dan. Uh, yeah. So that's like you have to me. Yeah. Maybe. I don't know. Maybe. I don't think so.
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E571 Adam Devine
Yeah, for me, it's all just like, hey, do you want to buy your neighbor's house? Because it's all just like people going like, Here's a house in your neighborhood that you can buy. And I'm like I already live in my neighborhood. I'm not trying to move three houses down. I already live in this neighborhood, dude. Quit fucking telling me about a house that's nearby. That's so true.
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It's like if I'm living in a house, you would think you wouldn't come advertise to me to buy a house.
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next like next door or like maybe go like hey do you want to live somewhere cooler than you like if you're it's kind of a whatever neighborhood and you're like you want to live in like a slightly better neighborhood I'll think about it yeah but there's like literally my neighborhood you've done some fun things man you got to do some wrestling recently is that right oh do you see that yeah bring it up
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Yeah, dude. I did some fucking chokeslam. AEW. You did a great job. I know. I saw that right there.
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Wow. What was this like? Is this a stiff person? I don't think so, Jack. Is that a stiff person? Those jeans are hanging on. Yeah. Those jeans are hanging on by a thread right there. Oh, butt cheeks. Kaboom! Woo! Flexing with all my might. Flexing with all my might. You'd have been a good wrestler, man. Thank you for saying that, dude. Or a mailman. Look at this, dude.
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Now you guys all kind of look like Tony right there. I feel like you're all giving a lot of Tony Cavallaro energy right there. Yeah. I got to get Tony in here soon. Yeah, get him in here. He's a good guy. He's one of a kind, man. Yeah. He checks in on me all, like not all, but every couple of months he'll check in and just say, hey. What a sweetheart. You know? He's just a sweet man.
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Do you know him? I know him pretty decently. Yeah. Yeah.
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Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
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E571 Adam Devine
Uh, he, I mean, dude, I don't know what he does right now. Danny Hendricks. There he is. Wow. Great job, dude. Staffy Ninja. Helps the medical labs locate and attract exceptional talent. So that's, you know, he's got a real job. That's cool. He's got a nice smile. Yeah, he does. Very nice. Yeah, he's a handsome guy.
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E571 Adam Devine
He's got... Well, he didn't have to put his smile back together off of a street curb either. Yeah, that's true. Like, I had to cobble myself back together. But, yeah, so from that, all those injuries, I am now, like, my body's just all fucked up. How long were you in the hospital for me?
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E571 Adam Devine
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
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E571 Adam Devine
I was in for like a month and a half, but then I had like two dozen surgeries within a short... Dude, my legs are all fucked up. Look at this. It looks like uncooked chicken. Can I show you? Yeah. Does it gross you out? No, it's okay. I can see it. Okay. Wow, okay. That's a real deal right there. That's a flat. Yeah, that looks like some uncooked chicken meats. Damn, homie's got a flat on there.
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E571 Adam Devine
. . . . . ., en P. P. P. P. P. P,實 , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , a Laboratory a , , , , , , ,, in P P P P P P P P P 100實 , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , a and a and a and a and a and a and a a a an P P P P P P P P P P Yeah. Was there a movie that you wanted that? Like, well, yeah, the Rizzo. I mean, I'll tell you this.
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E571 Adam Devine
Yeah. And is that a, wow, can I touch that? Yeah, yeah, touch that. Oh my God, that's magic. It's really smooth, right? This is what like, like older ladies, this is what they want their skin, not to look like, but to feel like. Yeah. Right? Touch it.
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E571 Adam Devine
He definitely seemed like his grades were feeling somebody's like his grades suck. That's what I heard. Oh, really? Yeah. Word at Craig's. Yeah. Yeah. People were passing around those pot pies they have at Craig's and they're like, hey, before you take a bite of that, just know the Rizzo's grades suck, dude. Dude, he had a little tattoo that said, fuck social studies. Oh, damn, dude. That's rough.
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E571 Adam Devine
That's what he said. So obviously he's living high on the hog. Dude, I don't even know. I thought he was mute because all I've ever seen him do is – Yeah, you got to – it's the shh. He does too many things though kind of. I think it's just this, right? And he's showing his jawline.
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That's what's kind of cool about him is he doesn't have much of a jawline, but I like he's just like, I don't give a shit. I got the riz, so come at me. It's like a good way to build up self-esteem for children that are out there. Some people are saying he's young – he's the actual young gravy. You know, Young Gravy was at the wrestling event too. Nuh-uh. Yeah.
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And Young Gravy was at the Super Bowl where I was also hanging out with Big Justice. So, I mean, they're running in the same circles, dude.
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Yeah, I guess so, yeah. But that's crazy. But here's the craziest part to me is that Big Justice isn't related to the Rizzlers. I thought they were brothers, dude. I thought they were brothers. These are just two social media kids getting together, doing their social media thangs. Dude, years from now, there will be like these baseball card signing things where it will be like, they're Rizzler.
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E571 Adam Devine
You and me will be there. That would be sick. Water baby or whatever. Some baby that survives on like a – You know, I think I'm going to do a thing with Tops. To have a baseball card. Really? Yeah, you should. I bet they'll make a baseball card of you. It's kind of sick. It's kind of cool. It would be kind of cool. Yeah. And then there's these kids, MD Foodie Boys. Everybody's been watching them.
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I like those MD Foodie Boys. I like them because they're so sincere about like, have you tried nachos with jalapenos? Yeah. It's actually pretty good. Yeah. Let's watch one.
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Yeah, but that's kind of smooth, right? Yeah. Touch that again. I don't think you're getting, yeah. Let me touch the underside. Yeah, get the underbelly of it. I can't feel that, Theo. The underside tickles me a little touching it. I can't feel that. You can't really?
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E571 Adam Devine
Dude, this is the podcast and people love it. And I also love it. They're just so sincere, man. How can you not have a, how can you, was there an age where you didn't like it? Well, You're riled up. You're riled up right now, dude. I don't know if I've ever seen you this riled.
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E571 Adam Devine
Whoa, dude. It's okay. No, it's fine. No, I like it. I like it. It just fucking irks me because... Talk about some food. Talk about some rigatoni or something. Talk about some... See, well, this is the genius. You start off... They're little kids, right? So they're starting off with like...
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hot dogs like what condiments you like do you like on your cheeseburger what condiments mostly condiment based now now they're moving on to pizza what things do you like on your pizza and then as they grow the the dishes get more complex like a tiramisu we're gonna grow with them and and their flavor palettes i think that's i think that's what people love and relate to because it's
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E571 Adam Devine
Because you're not going to them for an actual like – this is the – they're not like chefs. They're children. So it's just kind of funny to watch these kids sincerely talk about whether they like pepperoni on their pizza or not. Got it.
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E571 Adam Devine
I understand what you're saying. About food at all. Yeah. I understand what you're saying. But I think – I wish them luck. Yeah. I think they're – I mean they're runaway. I mean, I'm sure people look at my career and are like, what is he doing? Like, this sucks. Right. Like, why doesn't he do X, Y, Z? I'm like, I'm just doing me, baby. There they are right now. But how does it end?
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E571 Adam Devine
McLovin, that kid. McLovin, No Name. What's the one? McGriddle is the middle one, right?
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Okay, you have No Name, McGriddle, Chubb Perm. Yeah. So that's also, I think that's a, isn't that a trans wrestler? Dude. Yeah, it seems like it could be. He's got an earring. He's kind of the bad boy of the group, which is kind of sick. They're basically the new kids on the block. Yeah. Did you ever have an ear piercing? Yeah, I had two of them. Did you? Yeah, I did too. Fuck yeah, dude.
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E571 Adam Devine
Yeah, both. And then this side isn't as bad. That one has a dip in, it looks like. Yeah, because this is like the actual muscle. Wow. And then it dips here. Oh, my God. You know what it reminds me of?
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That shit was so fun, dude. And it would close up and you would still force something in it on days you needed to feel cool. Yeah, I wanted to get a gauge. I wanted to have like... I wanted to be that guy.
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I wanted, I wanted a lip piercing. I wanted the whole thing. I wanted to be punk rock, dude. I mean, I'm fucking, I got an article star tattoo.
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Somebody, you know, Yeah, I went through – I am happy to say I never went through like – you know how some kids are like, oh, I went through an emo phase or I went through like a goth phase. I'm glad I didn't go down like a weird path where you're like, yeah, I wore a lot of fishnets in seventh grade or whatever. I'm glad I didn't do that.
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E571 Adam Devine
I had like small waves where, yeah, I would bleach the tips of my hair. Yeah, I got a piercing once. You know, in the left ear. You ever pierced your nipples or no? No, I never did the nips. No, I never did that.
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E571 Adam Devine
I had a friend, not a friend, a guy I knew in high school.
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He pierces his dick in high school, dude. In high school, and I know for a fact he wasn't getting laid But he was saying like how good it's gonna like it's gonna feel right and he was saying like it feels so good And I'm like I know you're not getting laid dude.
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E571 Adam Devine
We're both 16 17 years old I know that and also what kind of piercer is Seeing a 17 16 year old boy, and it's like let me I'll get I'll be the one to get in there Yeah, it was the whole thing was bizarre Do you remember when the first guy hooked up with a girl and then the next weekend you guys all went out or something?
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E571 Adam Devine
Just like – Dude, it was seventh and eighth grade. My one friend started having sex with our other friend. And it was unreal. And it was years. Dear God. Years ago. Before the rest of us were catching up. And so he immediately went from like this kind of – he was chub perm of our group. And then suddenly he's got this swagger to him, dude. And there's no catching up. There's no catching up.
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E571 Adam Devine
Yeah. I'm still rollerblading, you know? Like, I'm not – I'm still like, hey, watch me backwards rollerblade. Is this sick? And they're like, no, dude. We're now having sex with girls. And I'm like, oh, so you don't want me – you don't want to watch me, like, fucking swerve these cones real quick? Yeah. With these hips. He's like, I'm working on my hip movement right now, dude. Yeah, dude.
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I was a little blader. A little blader boy. Were you? Yeah, there was a little bit of a phase. Oh, my God, dude. What happened to you?
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What happened to you? There's so much that occurred. Dude, well, I couldn't –
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rollerblading was easier in like eighth grade was easier for me to do than a lot of other I couldn't skateboard like my friends were skateboarding so I could rollerblade because it was just a smoother movement and easier on my joints so it was I was already like an old man thinking about my joints in eighth grade so it's just me like wiggling my hips skateboarding behind my friends yeah Oh, yeah.
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It is kind of fascinating. There's one where they spliced a pregnant person. You have to. Oh, you have to splice a pregnant person.
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It wasn't that offensive. You don't have to be that disgusted by it. You're right. And I'm going to be wearing knee pads and stuff. No, no. I'm still a bad boy. Yeah, dude. I'm still like wearing fucking chunky corduroy pants and like a fucking.
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a sick metallica shirt with the lightning bolts you know i'm still fucking cool dude i still have like a bowl cut but my hair was was too i like still i have my hair is too like buoyant yeah so it would it just went like this oh yeah it's just like a little like the tip of a dick it was like a little dickhead just like right here and i could pull it i could pull the hair it was so buoyant i could pull it and it would go down to here dude and then you release it and go okay
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Damn, you had a beautiful thing going on. Yeah, I was looking good in the eighth grade. Man, you've been through a lot, man. You've been through a lot, dude. Do you... Will your stiffness... Is it getting better or is it getting worse? Do you feel like over time? It's getting better. It ebbs and flows. I have good days and bad days, but it is getting better.
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So I'm still hoping to be in Marvel if they give me a call. I got a lot of shit. Last time I came on here... I was like dunking on Marvel saying that they ruined comedy movies because everybody wants to watch these big budget things. Dude, people were very mad. My agents were upset at me.
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I mean we've had a lot of great – They were very mad at me. They were like, don't.
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don't fuck with marvel like i cannot believe you said that on that podcast i'm like i wasn't dunking on marvel dude i was just saying i wish there were more comedies but they don't make comedies anymore because everyone wants to see a 200 million dollar epic you know well if they if they need like mailman or something then they'll marvel will come thank god if there's a mailman superhero i think i'm the guy dude what superhero would you be making your dad proud yeah
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Yeah, I would be someone that – like an unexpected superhero where they're like, this guy is not a superhero. This Normcore little bitch boy.
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Yeah. Well, even a lot of people are saying – who was it? Just came out and said – That they're not even, it's hard to even have independent projects these days. Oh yeah, I'm trying to get a few independent movies off the ground right now. Are you? Yeah, and it's tough, dude. I've never done an independent movie. I've always done with a studio or with Netflix or with someone like that.
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It's an exhibition showcasing human bodies that have been preserved through a process called plastination and dissected to display bodily systems. It opened in Tampa. Oh, which is I wouldn't have expected that. Tampa, they allow a lot of stuff. Yeah, but it seems like a thing that would sprout up in like Boston. Like some Harvard people were like, yo, let's start up this thing. Right.
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I'm looking for like $7 to $10 million. Oh, that's a lot of money. Yeah.
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You guys did your movie independently, right? Yeah. And you guys put your own money out? Yeah. Woo!
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boy okay uh well thanks dude yeah what's the name of it do you have it's called bus boys yeah bus boys sick so it's just spade and i both worked as bus boys in arizona i thought you're both hit by buses i was like this would have been kismet oh man i've been crazy we're all here right here get spade in here he just pops out behind the curtain he's like i'm crippled and we have a dolly that moves you around uh-huh yeah i'm just pushing everywhere
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Do you take a little time off of work? When did you guys finish Gemstones? We finished a few months ago, like three months, four months ago. And I've been just dad mode right now. And I have a movie in development at Netflix. I'm selling this show with the Workaholics guys. I got another show that I'm taking out. Wow. So it's a lot of like production, like pre-production stuff.
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And you know how it goes. It's like – We're going to make the movie and I have like a couple movies that are in development. We're like we're making the movie and then it takes years, dude. Yeah. Years. And you think it's happening and it takes so long. But for me, I love it. I love doing it. But yeah, I still have that itch of like –
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wanting to just get out there and get something done right now and that's why i do the podcast but with the workaholics guys this is important but i also miss doing stand-up dude yeah i was gonna say would you consider going out and touring again it's such a that's such a grind though once you have a family yeah and you're acting and stuff like that i feel like it's a tough grind well because it used to be like a fun escape from the grind of of
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producing and starring in tv and movies because then you're you're like well now i'm gonna go on the road with my boys and it's like a party and we're gonna go for a few months and i'm gonna do a ton of shows and it'll be great it's like a little escape from my regular life of acting And now, like with the family, I'm like, I just feel like a dastardly dog.
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Yeah, well, your wife had a freaking kid, first of all, which I don't know if she should have done or not, but her choice. I think she should have, yeah. Okay.
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Yeah, yeah. And also like being around. That's just being around the joke.
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Yeah, how dare she? Actually, she slipped that one by me. I just thought she was gaining weight. I'm like, look at my plump little Betty. She's looking all sexy, a little round mound. Look at her go smuggling a little basketball in there. And then out came a kid, dude. It was wild.
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Yeah. She's like, don't tickle me. Something's going to pop out. She's like, oh, man. She's having spasms in her belly like I do, looking like a little handprint coming out, just like me. Yeah, dude, it was wild. When she had it, our son Bo turned around when they pulled him out. He looked right back at me, dude. It was like, it was like, it stopped my heart.
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Yeah, it was pretty wild. Dude, the origin story of humans is pretty crazy that you climb out of some woman's belly, dude. It's like Greek mythology type shit. It's the vagina, though. Well, yeah. Yeah.
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E571 Adam Devine
You know, Tampa doesn't feel like it should. That's a good point. You know, but they may have won it. Somebody won it in a lawsuit. I think it probably had to start in Florida, maybe based on legalities or something. Yeah, it was a divorce. Yeah. Someone was like, well, I'm keeping the exhibit. So that idea we had, I'm keeping that, and I'm running with it.
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E571 Adam Devine
Actually, no, you were right. You were right because my wife had a C-section, so you were right. The perverts go out the belly. Yeah, yeah, dude. That's what I did. You? Yeah, I'm a little freak like that, dog. I'm a little freak like that.
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Yeah, dude. It's a party. Do not lick on my leg. That's what I did. That's what I did. That's what I did.
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I know. I read it and like, watch me, bitch. I'm gobbling. I'm gobbling up the world. Watch me whip. Yeah. Watch me nay-nay. Watch me nay-nay. Oh.
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That's our job. That's our job. Our job is to give them what we think is the funniest thing, and that's what we did with Workaholics and what we're going to try to do with this new show if we actually get to make it is like you make what you think is the funniest and what you and your friends would laugh at and what you want to see.
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what you want to actually watch and then hopefully other people get on board. And I, you know, I feel, and I think you have a finger on the pulse too, is we know what we like. And it seems like a lot of other people like what we like as well. So.
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I think you just have to make shit that you think is fun and funny and what – not even what other people want to see because they don't even know they want to see it until you make it. Right. That's the thing. And that's a lot of things. It's like –
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Like if I lose investing in myself, I don't really fucking lose. It's like – And at least you did it and you had that experience and you know the nuts and bolts of creating something now. So if you decide to do it again, you can go, this is what I would change. This is what I would do differently. And also the like –
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Like with people making something that they think other people would want to see, that's where you lose. When you start to go, I know that they want to see this type of show. Like this is what's selling or this is what – Oh, yeah. I think that's when you get in a little trouble. Like make what you want to make.
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And then hopefully that'll catch on because as soon as you start to like go down the path, then it's derivative. And people are like, didn't we already see this show? We've already done this.
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You can figure something out yourself how to make things. Well, it was like when we did – not to just keep harping on this shit, but this is my experience – is when we did Workaholics, it was the barrier of entry had just lowered. It used to be like to make something like that, it was – a hundred thousand dollars to make, you know, to even make a short film for $50,000 or whatever.
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And everyone had to put it on credit cards and like to try to make something that maybe would work.
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You would have to, you're constantly gobbling. Yeah. You're constantly gobbling. And someone wants you to use silverware when you blow them or whatever. I'm like, how rich is this guy? Oh my God. Fucking pour some gray Poupon on that bitch and do, do some gobbles. Uh,
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But now it's just – it was just like a camera and some lights, and we were able to shoot something that Comedy Central was like, what you doing over there? Yeah.
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Did you shower, or is it the rain that got you a little wet? I just showered, unfortunately. It looks good on you. I'm not afraid to say it. That wet look looks good on you, Theo. You think? Yeah, I ain't lying. Let me see it. Pull it up. Let me get a gander at it. Oh, I don't know.
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E571 Adam Devine
Yep, this is important. Anders Blake. Kyle Nwachek. Yeah, he's been off the pot. He's been directing... uh happy gilmore too so that that is busy too busy for the pod must be nice kyle must be nice um adam thanks so much for hanging out dude best of luck man good to see you brother now i'm just floating on the breeze and i feel i'm falling like these leaves i must
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You're lying. Uh-uh. Oh, my God. Maybe they read about me in the paper and were like, hey, I have an idea. Yeah. Let's take this show on the road. Let's take him on the road. It's a hit. Yeah. I thought – I wonder if I – I won't shut up about getting hit by a symmetric. I hope I didn't retell that story. It's fascinating, man. No, I don't think so at all.
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It's not a hard jerky. Well, it just also seems you seem strong. Thank you. Do you think your body had to your legs had to be stronger after this because a ton of physical like years and years and years of physical therapy? And what sucks now, dude, is I'm back in the physical therapy grind. Because of it? Yeah.
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Whatever happened – like three years ago, I was shooting this show in Germany and I like was wiggling around and I like kicked my leg up and like I was like ping and something pinged down here in my groin. I was like – I got my balls popping out, you know, like you have a hernia. And like my insides are oozing out. Not oozing out. They weren't. So then it was just something like got tweaked.
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And then it was just like bing, bing, bing, bing. And the muscles all got fucked up. And so I had two surgeries. I was like it's my hips. I'm going to have – so I got hip surgeries on each side. It wasn't the hips. No. So it's been three years of like trying to cobble my body back together. And I was so fucked up and I was so tight and tense and I was getting these spasms. I went to the doctor.
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The doctor one month before my son was born was like, you're dying. Swear to God, Theo. He goes, you have stiff person syndrome, which is a real disease. It sounds like a boner joke, but it is not. And he's like, you got stiff person syndrome. And that essentially the like average lifespan of someone with stiff person syndrome is like five or six years. And I was like, I'm dying. I'm dying.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
So for a solid couple months, I was like – My son is just born. I'm going to die. And what are you feeling like? You feel like a gingerbread cookie kind of style or like how stiff are you at that point? I'm a lot better now. I was so stiff. I couldn't like I could hurt. I like I would move and everything would go crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
And it hurts to just move at all. And I would have these crazy spasms. And like it would – they would happen in my stomach sometimes. And it looks like I'm pregnant, like a little fucking arm is pushing out. It was wild. Bring some – stiff person syndrome. This is a real – It's a real – Celine Dion has it. So then I go through – All this testing.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
And then they were like, you know, we don't think you have this. We think this is from your accident. And I'm like, OK, thank God I don't have this. And then I go through another six months. I'm on the set of The Righteous Gemstones. I'm not getting any better. In fact, I'm getting worse. And I tell Danny, I'm like, dude, I have to dip. I have to go see the the stiff person syndrome guy.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
And it was so scary because he's the guy that's going to tell me if I actually have it. Oh, really? And I'm there. It's after hours. And they saw me special, you know, and I just hear his little click, clack, click, clack of his old man doctor shoes. And he comes and he has those eyebrows that are like, yeah, wizard like, you know, eyebrows that like a bird will land on one. Yeah, absolutely.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
And you know if you have eyebrows like that, you're like – you have wisdom, right? Yeah, definitely. Yeah, people who trim their eyebrows are obviously dumb as fuck. Yeah, you're not. Yeah, dude. You got to let those things sprout. If you're lucky enough to have some wiry brows. And so he comes, and luckily he tells me I do not have it. So thank God.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
But it was like a wild ride where I'm like, I think I'm dying. Now I'm like – It's from my accident. It sucks, but hopefully I can get better. So some of the mental fear is, is gone away because you got the verdict. And then I think from that, some of the physical has gotten a little better because the mental, cause I'm not just like, cause I wasn't sleeping.
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
E571 Adam Devine
I was sleeping like three hours a night. I was just going online, sitting on the toilet and watching TikTok videos of like people with like, that are like