Adam Conover
Appearances
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Oh, she sees spot run. This woman is so full of herself.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
The least Jewish name you could possibly, the most Germanic.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
The best day of the year?
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
hey day the amount of lice i'm like itchy thinking about it oh yeah i mean everyone's got a lot of lice it's it's basically a medieval village most of the time though harvest time is nice because you get a good meal because that's when the food comes in right and you get but like the idea that harvest is the best day of the year because you get a slightly better bed
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Do you think like we do with phones, any of them were going like, you know what? I can wait one more year before I have a refill my bed. I'm going to really hold out for an extra year.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
I love, by the way, that his name at this point has been changed four or five times. And it has not gotten any closer to being Robert Maxwell, which is where we know it's going to end.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Look, there's nothing better than Eastern European ball sports, okay?
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
I really remember there was a point in my life, and this is a little bit of a digression, but I do love to think about this. Yeah. When the first Borat movie came out, the people of Kazakhstan were like, this movie is really mean to us.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
It really portrays us in an unflattering light. We're not that backwards. And then somebody was like, yeah, but don't you guys have a sport where the ball is a decapitated goat's head? Yeah, but that's awesome. And they were like, yeah, you know, yeah, no, it's true. It's awesome. Like it rules. You got to embrace it.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
No one will share this image as the funniest trope of viral Facebook boomer content.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
I'm a lefty and our people suffered under the yoke of forced rightyism for a long time.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Holy shit. Yeah. It was honestly, as a white man in America, it was the first time that I ever felt myself as part of a formerly persecuted minority.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
I was literally told as a child, you know, lefties really used to be treated poorly and we've come a long way. I'm like, yes, thank you to my ancestors.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Literally. It's the best argument for why is there more gay people and everything. I mean, people have made this argument over and over again. But yeah, like once you aren't slapping people around for being something, they're a little more willing to say that's what they are on a survey.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
So far, this story is just kind of rips.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
That guard only has one arm. You think I can overpower him?
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
See, we're seeing the holes as you tell the story.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
There's a couple of them.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
No. That just makes the story sound more fake.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Yeah, I don't think they didn't they didn't win those particular battles, did they?
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. How do they know this man is Jewish? His name is Jan Hoch. And he cut off his things, you know?
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
And as a man who's read a book, he's basically a doctor.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
I like how in these early days of nationalism, you can kind of just, like, pick and choose and, like, wander around to decide your nation in a way that they don't really know what you do today. You just join armies and, like.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
What if you ran into a Czech guy who talked exactly like Donald Trump?
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
How did people not? It would be one of the most famous voices in the country.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Name number four we're up to? Yeah, five, four, five.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
But this is also Douglas Adams' joke about Ford Prefect.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Naming yourself after a brand.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
So far, this entire story is just this guy going from country to country and doing a terrible job of faking a different ethnicity in every place.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
But this is like a very unusual level up.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
That's the best they could come up with? They start calling him Leslie Smith? Leslie Smith. This is the British army? This is the British army. He's issued a name. All right. Leslie is like a British name from that time. Yeah. You're Leslie now. Here's a rifle. Well, yeah, so he's achieved his goal of being British. He does now sound British. They're like, Ivan? No, no, no, no.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
You're British now.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Make him a spy.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Wow. How many total names did he go through on the way? It's like 10, right? He has so many fucking names. You just went through four in the last 90 seconds. Yeah.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
I'm sorry. This is just like... he's like a character from like a self insert character from a novel where it's just, he's the, he's so tall and handsome and everyone loves him when they see him and they're constantly giving him promotions and new names. You know, it's like, I just read a, the book of the new sun last year. It's like that character, like just describing how awesome he is. Yeah.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Yeah, I did it even though nobody wanted me to do it. Yeah. They wanted me to do it so little that they gave me an award for doing it.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
I was wondering how he was going to destroy science and destroying scientific publishing is how you would do it. And that has been done. I know this has been done. So now I'm interested to hear about the bastard who did it.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Be confident. Don't nag me. But don't fucking nag me. Don't use any of my 15 old names. Yeah.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
I mean, his whole family has been murdered, right?
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
How many, can I just ask, how many languages does this man speak, by the way? He grew up speaking Hebrew or Yiddish?
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Like, yeah, well, he's he's not coming off like a, you know, bloodthirsty, you know, guy who joined the army because he just wanted to murder people. He's he's blinded by grief and rage.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
And it's war and people go nuts like this. That's how he's coming off.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
I'm feeling great. So far, I love this guy. I don't understand.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
I don't understand why your show's called Behind the Bastard. So far, all he's done is go on a Nazi killing spree, which we just discussed the ambiguous morals of how, you know, so I'm a little confused about the format of the show, but I guess I'll find out in the next part.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Yeah. I mean, he, he, again, he, he feels like the hero of like a pulp novel.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Yeah. You know, I, I have expected to be attacked by a dinosaur and wrestle it into submission.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
That's basically the story we're telling. I think we need, honestly, I want more sequels that are that. I want to see the people turn into bad people or disappoint or not, you know.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Exactly. And I want to see the sequel to the rom-com where the people fall in love and then they get married. And then I want the sequel to them 10 years later, not fucking each other and being resentful and cheating on each other. Like that's come on.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Show us real people breaking down.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
People can find me. I do a podcast called Factually. I also have a YouTube channel where that podcast is, and I do monologues and things like that about the horrible state of the world. And I have a stand-up special called Unmedicated that's out on Dropout, on the TV platform Dropout.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Yeah, I do a show called Factually on YouTube and wherever you get your podcasts. And I also do video monologues, which don't really have a title, but it's sort of the current evolution of what people know me for doing. doing topical comedy about the world around us, mostly about fascism. I'm doing a lot of weekly video updates about creeping fascism and what we can do about it.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Yeah, they're allowed to. These people are allowed to wear shoes and speak to one another and they can walk down the street.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
This is their own government's travel guide?
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Yeah, that makes sense. You know, if I was doing a travel guide to L.A., that's how I describe Santa Monica. So, you know, it makes sense. People just staring off into the distance, you know?
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
And yeah, trying to be a little green shoot in the ashes of the entertainment industry and doing stuff online now. Having a great time.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
In German, Hoch means high, right? Yeah, that sounds right. I'm not good at German. Why would he just... It's just a funny name to choose.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
I mean, that's the prerogative of empire. You know, you take over a town. New names for everybody. New names for everybody. Yeah. You're Steve and you're Bilbo.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
That's great. The Starbucks barista should be able to go into a town and give everybody the names they think you should have.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
They're much better than bandits. You know, bandits are like level one. Brigands are level three. You got to be a little stronger. They've got studded leather armor.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
We got a family with a tall guy and a learned woman. Right. That's his parents. These people must have been ruling the town.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Remember when there used to be websites? And on the websites, you could do comedy about it. Various things. History or pop culture or just like, you know, something about dating college chicks. And people would click on that. You'd get some money. And now you've got to go on Elon Musk's platform and... Talk about how a judge was arrested. Yes.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
She kind of sounds rad. Okay, so she's like a college-educated leftist who's reading Foucault and annoying everybody at the DSA meeting.
Behind the Bastards
Part One: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
She's the equivalent in the same way that a six and a half foot tall man is an eight foot tall man. Someone who has read page A4 of the newspaper has highfalutin knowledge.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Sie sagten, wir sind chemisch kastrierte Mathematiker, wir haben Scheiß hier.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
People are writing each other handwritten letters and shit going, I discovered something. Yeah, nukes!
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
His articles are all like, it's great to murder Germans actually. Pretty cool. Blowing a mayor's brains out because a tank fired at you is a heroic deed.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Yeah, they fund all those startups that make James Bond's little gadgets.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
He's doing well. I'm 42 and I haven't like murdered anybody. Haven't murdered dozens of SS men. I haven't killed any mayors, I haven't taken over the scientific publishing of two entire nations yet.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Like the last generation was just stronger and better, you know.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
It's because of the cell phone, you know?
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Danke, dass ich da bin. Ich bin einfach so gespannt, mehr Geschichten von unserem coolen Freund Abraham, Robert, Ivan. Private. Private. Private, ja. Oh, oh, oh, der beste war Leslie.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
This is settlers of Catan logic.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Every time we eat a Currywurst, you think of Maxwell and his quest to take over all of publishing.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Yeah, these guys sound awesome. They fucking are at this point. And they're arbitraging pork bellies instead of money. By the way...
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
And he's just a great guy. He's just murdering a few more Nazis than he should. That's not great, but you know, he's taking his revenge.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Maybe the first clue that they're not as smart as we think they are, that they were like, hey, we could, you know what would be better than being paid in money, being paid in pork bellies, receiving the pork bellies and then having to travel around Europe reselling your rancid pork bellies for Austrian money? Austrian money can't be great.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Just going around the open mics handing out $5 bills.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
And this is not like a huge part of the budget of any one university anyway. So he could charge an arm and a leg, but it's just going to be some... Ah, the library has to pay for a little bit of it. It doesn't cost them as much as their mortgage.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Yeah, because it's, oh, you mean scientific knowledge, the birthright of mankind? That our tax is paid for? In fact, the only permanent and important thing humanity does on the entire planet to discover how the universe around us works? Yeah, that should probably be a free public resource.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
I also have to say, like, there's been a lot of talk in the last 20 years about, you know, for-profit journals and, you know, all the problems in scientific publishing. I always thought that that profit motive was relatively recent. I didn't realize it was rapacious, even at the dawn of this shit.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
And presumably somebody could have started a version of academic publishing that didn't work this way. That was like, you know, a lot of people say like, what if Jimmy Wales had not started Wikipedia, right? We would have maybe had a different business model. There could have been a business model that went a better way.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Oh, 100 Prozent. Nein, ich meine, das ist ein guter Beispiel.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Wenn das nicht existierte, könnte etwas Schlechtes sein. Es könnte eine bessere Version des wissenschaftlichen Publikums sein.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Yes, yes, of course. If I was a scientist, I'd be like, this guy is so great. He's treating me the way I deserve to be treated. Of course. I mean, I study ants, but of course I should go on a free, all expenses paid trip of Europe.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
That's an incredible summary of how it works. And like peer review, you know, we're taught in college anyway, that this is a good thing. The fact that it's free labor is, Und nicht nur Freilabor für die Wissenschaft, sondern Freilabor für die Journalisten selbst. Es fragt sich die Frage, was genau der Publisher überhaupt tut, außer... Fuck all. ... auf die Prüfungspresse zu starten. Fuck all.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Das ist die einfachste Part. Yes. Like fucking Random House does that shit. Like, what is the... What is the power that these companies have? Like, why wouldn't a university system just start their own journal and do this themselves?
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Verdammt, du hast mich verrückt. Das ist das, was ich normalerweise in Segmen mache.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
It's also such a classic example of rent-seeking, as economists call it. Because, again, the government is funding it. The journals are making money off of it. Like, Maxwell made so much money that his daughter is an heiress. Billions. Billions. And so they are profiting off of it, but they do not put money back into the system. Absolutely not.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
If they are making money off of the production of science, why not fund some fucking science? But they don't do that.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Und Teil davon ist die soziale oder Karriere-Bedrohung, die man publizieren muss. Ich würde sagen, das ist ein völlig anderes Problem. Was Wissenschaftler-Karrieren basiert, ist die Bedrohung, um zu publizieren. Aber es fährt wieder zurück in dieses System. Du wirst nicht lange in einer beruflichen Position bleiben, wenn du nichts publizierst.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
So no, no, I know. I'm just like, well, Gillen wouldn't remember this. And the parents don't know the kids exist.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
One of the brothers like, oh, man, that was a real bummer. When our three year old sister said, Mommy, I exist.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Really? He identifies as a socialist?
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
So he thinks that public goods should be available to the public at low or no cost, subsidized by the government.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
What kind of documentation would one even have at this point? What is he a citizen of? And is there any such thing as records, given what's happened in Europe?
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
It's an in-group, out-group thing. They were mean to me growing up. I'm not a lord. I'm not a lord and lady. I'm not invited to social functions. Therefore, I must join this party.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
It's not chauffeured. Now I just mow over the peasants under my own power.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Das ist ein Wieler-Dealer. Er ist schon trank. Ich kann ihn aufgrund dieses Fotos riechen. Das macht Sinn. Er riecht wie Mothballen und Vodka.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
He's going, how you doing, sweetheart? He's like patting the waitress' ass. Like, this guy is such a piece of shit.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
It really is the 20th century dream, right?
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Of starting in this, you know, little backwater and becoming a sort of like polynational wheeler dealer billionaire player asshole.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
It's going to be great. Just think about all the new billionaires we're going to get. And I'm going to be like, I wish I was a younger man. I wish I was just trying to get my start after World War III, after the nukes go off and I could build the nuclear mitigation business.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
He just has animus for unions because he's a business owner and that's the way the wind is blowing?
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
No, that's what anti-unionism is fundamentally about. It's about anyone else having power. Unions are about workers having power and the people on top don't want them to have the power.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
We could use a little bit of that right now, to be quite honest.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Now we just got Bezos and Patrick Soon-Shong.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Thank Christ. Like, dude, you're obsessed with me? You're spending hours alone listening to the recordings of me? Yeah. It's kind of flattering. What you're really pulling into focus now is this man is a long lost succession character. Yes, yes. Yes! Nailed it. Where is the Holocaust-surviving Ruthenian Czech Jew, you know, who managed to survive and build an empire on that show?
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
That's a wonderful character.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
There's no way. He sounds like he created Boar on the Floor.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Ja, jemanden auf einen Außenintelligenz-Service zu geben und dann wird er verhaftet? Ja, wirklich schlecht. Ja, meistens versuchen sie das nicht zu tun.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
It really seems like he did some bad shit, but he wins me back with the parties. The parties sound great.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
See, I miss the boat with World War II. If I had just been able to murder a couple Germans. A couple dozen Germans. I could have been on the road to being covered in silver taffeta.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
And having Margaret Thatcher sing my praises.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Hitler musste einfach die Anzahl von Leuten... Ich war Hitler's Optometrist. Ich habe Hitler's Pool gescrubbt. Ein paar persönliche Dienste brauchte er.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
That must make him even angrier. I don't know her, says Rupert Murdoch.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Yeah, I set up his aquarium. It was really complicated. Then he needed me to come out every two weeks to clean Hitler's aquarium.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Racking my brain.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Now I'm mad. Now I don't like him. Yeah, oh yeah.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Why? Israel wasn't angry at him. It's the most annoying thing in history analysis is people making this claim. Well, the Mossad had him killed. Why?
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Du musst auf Antiques Roadshow gehen.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Ja, sie haben nie das gute Ding da. Du musst mit den Hitler-Picks und den Großvater-Klocken gehen.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Things finally caught up with old Bobby Maxwell. Murdering innocent people. Nope. Destroying scientific publishing. Nah, he's fine. But stealing pension funds, that'll get you. Which does suck. Like, that is really bad.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Yeah, no, absolutely. Up until now, he was sort of like a debonair ne'er-do-well. I was enjoying the story.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Wow, I didn't think I could end with a lower opinion of Ghislaine Maxwell. I didn't anticipate that this is... Shocking, right? Oh, she's also a criminal nepo baby. Okay.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
I was really on board.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Well, it's funny how much it tracks sort of the standard, you know, it's a Citizen Kane or a What's-His-Face-From-Succession-Style-Story, where it's like inspiring in the beginning, all turns wrong, you know, larger than life, all these insane details, he's present at every moment in history, like the sort of figure who, you know, if I read a novel about this guy, I wouldn't believe it, you know?
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
I do. Once again, my podcast is called Factually. I do that on YouTube. We also do video monologues. And yeah, you can check out my stand-up special Unmedicated on Dropout right now. Yeah.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Yeah, and don't tell people you did it so proudly. Don't be like, I committed a war crime.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Oh man, so funny. Competing in an asshole contest with Rupert Murdoch, not a good way to go. Not even being noticed.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Just like a guy that, man, you know, that downfall of the Third Reich and like the Holocaust and all that. Really bad for my dog breeding business.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Yeah, you know, I sold German Shepherds to Hitler. I thought it was a good bet at the time. I thought it would keep going. Seemed like he was on the way up, you know. It was the MySpace of its day. How could it have failed? Why won't anybody think of how this affects dog breeding businesses?
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Well, I mean, also, this man, his entire family was murdered in the Holocaust.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Hitler's dog breeder sounds like a side mission from Wolfenstein, you know, of someone you go murder.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
No, no, no, no, no. This wasn't Hitler's dog. No, no, no, no, no. This was the sire of Hitler's dogs. Yeah, yeah. I stole Hitler's dogs dead. Every Nazi owned dogs who were sired by this dog.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
I also just have to say, if your biographer is like starting a paragraph with, and then he met a dog breeder and arranged to purchase a dog, it's not a good dog purchase story.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Ja, die Verkaufsverkaufe von Hunden machen es nicht. Ich meine, ja, du weißt, wie Nixon seine Biografie nicht viel Zeit auf Checkern verwendet.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
He takes revenge on literally everybody who had anything to do with Nazi, just people who were just hanging around in Germany for a day. He slaughters them, but he's like, the dog I like. The dog's fine. Hitler's dog's dad, that's a Nazi I'm okay with.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Yeah, I mean, it just... War affects everybody so differently. I would think that if I escaped the miserable poverty of Central Eastern Europe and the worst war in the history of humanity, killed a bunch of people, managed to not die in either the Holocaust or the fighting, and then achieved a position of social prominence, I'd say, you know what, maybe I'll take a summer off.
Behind the Bastards
Part Two: Robert Maxwell: How Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad Ruined Science
Maybe I'll just be content to be alive.