Abdullah Saeed
Appearances
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Dude, I couldn't believe I didn't know who that guy was. Right. It's interesting to me because it was so it was myself, Sagar Sheikh, Asif Ali, the two very talented and handsome leads of Deli Boys. Right. We all shot in succession. And so I guess I think the bodyguard is for them. They're like, oh, yeah, also this asshole is coming, but nobody's going to look at him twice.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
But if you look at Sagar or Asif, you're going to want to touch them or rob them or whatever. So there's this bodyguard there. I like that guy.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Yeah, yeah, dude, you definitely need one. Are you kidding me? You are a very, very public figure. Like, I sort of, you know, look, I had a very niche audience, you know, of stoners, the least harmful people in the world. They just come up and they're like, what's up, homie? Or whatever, right? You are like, you're very public in New York stuff.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
And you live in New York and you walk around and you take the train. You need a bodyguard. I'm a nice guy.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Yeah, but that doesn't mean that people aren't going to try to hassle you. Because while we were shooting, actually, a guy came up during Sagar or Asif's take and kicked the phone. Yeah, it was during Sagar's take. Out of his hand. Like, violently. And I was like, you know what I thought immediately? I was like, well, it's true what they've been saying about New York.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
I was like, it has taken a turn for the... Because, like, I left New York. Admittedly, like, the last couple years I lived in New York, I was very unhappy to be in New York. You know what I mean? I had... I couldn't win. The city defeated me in some ways, right?
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Oh, really?
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
And I think it's mostly because a lot of men with power are driven by their anger.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Yeah, I feel you, though, you know what I mean? It's like, there's always the next thing that you're like, oh, well, but I didn't achieve that, you know what I mean?
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
So he thought that this stranger who just, you know, fucking violated his phone, a crazy guy. I will say that I do think it's a little weird for your show specifically to be like, oh, I'm a fan. I'm going to film them filming it. Like, it's one thing to take a photo or take a selfie, but to be sitting there filming it, I think that's wacky. Personally, I wouldn't do that.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
So a funny thing happened, actually. Tell me if you remember this. So everybody, when the guy was like, I'm so sorry, everyone sort of, you know, in a chorus was like, that wasn't our bodyguard. It's all good. You're good. Don't worry. It's not your fault. Right. And then everyone got quiet. And I just said to the guy, well, I blame you. Right.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
I mean, I'm a little bit pissed off that we got kicked off the train. But you're really sad that we got kicked off the train. No, I'm frustrated. But frustration is a two-pronged thing. And you're more in touch with the angry part of yourself. So when you get frustrated, you're sad for a second. But then you blow right past it. And you're like, you, Abdullah. You this off me.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
and we all sort of had like a little chuckle but you know now i'm realizing there was probably some truth to that i think that you know it's like i don't know what upset the other guy but you know i think he just he was looking out for us he was like don't fucking film them while they're making this great short form unscripted vertical video entertainment for you
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Yeah, he's like, New York's going through a lot, and this show is like, it's a South for the city, okay? So don't, you know, go another angle and ruin it.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Thank you so much, brother. You really have been supportive of me and my creativity, like, for a long time. So we worked together at Vice in different departments, but, you know, there's only a handful of brown guys in the building at that time. I feel like there was some solidarity, you know what I mean? It's actually interesting to me.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Something you were saying before was that like, you know, the smart, stupid, stupid, smart thing that was also, you know, very much a device at vice and also, you know, something that I think I carried with me too. Right. Like, I think it's something that's still inherent in your work.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
I think if you look at something like deli boys, it is kind of the same thing in some ways, like talking about something serious in like a really frivolous or goofy way. Right. It's interesting that that's kind of shaped the way we approach things.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Yeah, yeah, no. It's true, and I think it is like, you know, literally like life as an adult is about those moments. And I guess life as a kid is about those moments, but when you're a kid, everything's a win, right? It's like, you're like, it's my birthday. It's a fucking win. It's the 4th of July fucking win. Like, right.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
How do you think men should cope? Men should go to therapy, first of all, right? 100% disagree. Men should exercise. 100% disagree. And men should talk to other men about their feelings. 100% agree. Maybe have a sleepover with your boys. No, you lost me. I really need that last couple hours at the end of the night for me, you know?
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Like everything's a win, but you know, as you get older and you get jaded, right. It becomes about these big things. And look, we're fortunate that when you get to work in a creative field and you know like our passion is tied to our earning which is a blessing and a curse right in some ways but specifically with deli boys right like each step
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
I was lucky to have people around me to remind me to be like, savor that moment, right? And so it was a five-year process, really, from when we started circulating the script to when the show came out, like now, essentially.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
It's kind of crazy, right? And it's like I wrote other things at the time. You and I collaborated on an audio, scripted audio horror thing that I hope we get to make one day. And, you know, so I was chasing so many things. I feel like... People see from the outside, they're like, oh, yeah, this guy decided to become a journalist and then decided to become a screenwriter.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
I was literally doing five things at once and only one of them would work out in that moment. And I'd be like, all right, all my chips on this thing. Right. So like. When I transitioned to documentary, I had a stack of documentaries I wanted to make after Vice, right? But I was getting no traction for any of those, couldn't sell anything.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
And so, you know, but then I ended up co-writing a script with Ben Sinclair. And I was like, okay, well, there's an opportunity. That's work, right? It's like, it's something. Because all I can do is this creative shit. I don't have any, you know, I can write, basically. I don't have any other skills, right?
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
So it's like I have to do one of these things. And I'm literally just following the, you know, I'm following the opportunity, the diminishing opportunities.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
One's a TV series. That is too real.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Yeah. That is perfect. Yes, yes, exactly. And it is like, you know, I think also that your dream for what I'm going to try to keep going with the egg thing, but your dream for what you will finally make with that egg. Right. The whole time you're like, I'm going to make scrambled eggs. Right. But then when you get to it, they're like, it's going to be an omelet.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
And you have to sort of change your dream. And you have to be like, I wanted an omelet the whole time. Give me the fucking omelet, right? And it's like that part of it, right? I think like it is incredibly important, I think, as a creative in the world today. Because like, you know, you will really... Like, you have to keep changing your dream.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
It's not like, I'm sure there's people who are like, when they're five years old, they're like, you know, I love snails. And then they become a snail scientist and they're fucking, and they discover new types of snails. And they're like, this guy was like, from day one, he was the snail guy. Everybody knew it. They were like, he's going to fucking change, right?
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
After you watch the movie and jerk off together, then you have quiet time. Right. This is why I'm not crazy about house guests. You know what I mean?
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
I think it's much more like, you know, I was like, I'm going to be a journalist. Yes, that's right. I'm going to be a journalist. I'm going to interview people and I'm going to do whatever. And then someone was like, okay, there's no, you're not going to make money doing that. But here you can like, you know, be a website content creator. And I was like, yes.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
I'm going to be a website content creator. I'm going to make all kinds of stuff. And they're like, all right, well, never mind that. All right. Things have changed. Now it's this. Here, write a screenplay. And I'm like, yes, I'm going to be a screenwriter. You know what I mean? You just keep changing the dream. And that has to happen for the rest of your life.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
There is definitely a price that if some, you know, huge studio came up to me and was like, you know what? We want you to be a development executive for this much money. There's a certain amount of money. There's a certain amount of money. I'd be like, okay, sure. I'm a development executive now. Now I'm on this thing. And I was a development executive after my first show for Vice failed.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
And I stopped coming in. And then I got a call from some whatever, whoever was the head of shit at the time. They were like, yo, you're still on the payroll. Get your fucking ass back in here. And I was like, what do you want me to do? And he was like, you're a development producer.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Well, it's good, Kareem. How are you? Nice to see you, brother.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
That was my dream. Yeah, the payoff is that, right? And I think that that is, you know, to me, Deli Boys season one, I was talking to Michelle Nader, the showrunner, you know, yesterday about this. And, you know, we were both like, yo, this is everything we wanted. That's exactly what we wanted to make. Season one of Deli Boys, like, I don't know what the future holds.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
All I know is that we made something that we really stand by, right? Yeah. And when the moment it came out, I really felt, you know, like I sort of crassly put it like it was like taking like a giant shit. Right. And just suddenly you're like, oh, but I guess it was probably more like giving birth.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
It's like Frank, like my cat.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
I know. I can see them behind you. It's a beautiful day in L.A. as well, but that's always the case. Pretty much. In New York, you appreciate the good days because there's all the shitty weather days.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
You're like, well, there's this thing called vertical short form content.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
yeah man dude the world is literally collapsing around us and this dude's like well i'm sure that whatever worked for me in 1974 will like totally work for you now like what the fuck are you talking about dude have you watched the news in 30 years like it's not the same world bro we're scrapping out here man i mean the ceo of goldman sachs is literally a dj do you know about this guy
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
That's so weird.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
I guess he does. I don't know. You need a side hustle. This fool doesn't need a side hustle.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Probably, man. Look, think about that job for a second. Like, what does it actually entail, right? Well, no one knows. No one knows because a fucking AI could do it.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Here, you just take good things for granted.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
It's just like, you know what it is? I think, and this is my very... I'm a comedy writer. This is my take on...
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
this thing right but it's like if you start off with like a whole pile of chips right then you can make all the mistakes you want and you'll still end up figuring it out and winning in the end but if you start with a small amount of chips you know you can't take as many risks obviously so you you can't make those big payoffs right yeah where's that yo get adam mckay in here write this shit down man this is good to do to do the fucking to do the new show yeah yeah yeah break it down for the people
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Yeah, but dude, this is exactly the type of thing that you're doing in middle school, which is trying out all these different costumes.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
You're like, I decided to go strong silent at 34. I love that. But no, that's familiar to me. I mean, look, I was always in high school. So I, you know, grew up as an expat in Thailand until I was 13. And over there, it's like it wasn't cool. It's not cool to be bad outside of the United States like school.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Right. Yeah. Yeah. So they want like it's cool to be a good boy. I think at that school, it was cool to be a good boy. Like, you know, my brother, older brother's a good boy. He graduated high school there and he was like, you know, had a lot of friends, but was also, you know, was like good at school and everything. And like, it seemed to me. Yeah.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Like, and bad kids, kids who did bad stuff were sort of viewed as like, ruffians or whatever, right? Like literally. Yeah. So there is a, was a little bit more of like a Pollyanna thing. And when I came to the U S the kids were fucking, some of them were such assholes and you're like, and you know what I mean? It's like popular kids were assholes.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
dude i do not miss that at all like that is as you're talking about it and it's wetness is such a part of life because like as you know in the winter it's like you wear that heavy jacket when it's cold and you get on the subway and then you sweat and then you go back out and the sweat freezes on your like that cycle of things is so hellish to me it's disgusting Yeah, it really is.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
We really do reward asshole-ism from an early stage here, right? And I was like a reclusive punk kid. I was always kind of socially awkward in high school. I had like groups of friends. I played in bands. I played in punk bands. I played drums.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
I mean, in my own little world, I think we would be probably described as like the freaks and geeks, like whatever the kids I was hanging out with, right? Punk kids and, you know, like kind of whatever. Yeah, freaks. That was the vibe. To me, that's the only people worth hanging out with. That's how I learned about interesting punk music and shit. Because everyone else is like a fucking cartoon.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
You know what I mean? Everyone else is like some weird thing. But I do think that it... It's interesting because in high school, right, so in the late 90s, early 2000s, there was this pressure on, like, you know, obviously it plays on a young man's, like, biological need to, like, you know, to... Just like their horniness, basically, right?
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Yeah, right? Exactly. There you go. Very candid. But yeah, so whether it's Limp Bizkit or the testosterone-fueled movies or American Pie or whatever, right? There is this was a really all these very toxic suggestions on how you should view women in a sense. Right. And then also how you should approach your emotions like you're talking about being a pussy. Right.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Like in those movies and shit, there is like you can feel the sense of like, oh, like, don't be a pussy. Right.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Dude, if you are a man in your 30s or 40s, you got to go on Netflix and watch the Woodstock 99 documentary. Because it encapsulates this time, right? And these bands, this music, and this energy, this style, right? That... I mean, that was peak young teenage me, right? Was going to Limp Bizkit shows and whatever. I was not at Woodstock 99, but I was seeing a lot of these bands at the same time.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
And it reflects something back to you about your adolescence or about your teen years that's so shocking and sort of like, I don't know, it shined a light on my memories in a way that I was like, holy fuck.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
And I was like... Yeah, well, you know what? I agree with that. And... If we can, you know, I would I think we got to change that. Like, OK, to respond to that directly. Absolutely. And like for my part in creating that atmosphere as just existing as a man, like, I'm sorry. Truly. Right. Because it is the world we live in is concocted by, you know. these attitudes, right?
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
And I'm not exempt from that. You're not exempt from that, right? That's part of it. But I'm glad we're talking about that comment here because, you know, let's take that into account the next time we hear, you know, anyone who's not a straight man, right, say something's fucked up.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
So have you noticed that as you get older, like now I'm about to turn 41, right? As I've gotten older, I feel like I get, and I'm a brown skinned man with a beard, right? But I still feel like in general, I get a little bit more respect. Like in a, you know, if I'm like at a store, whatever the fuck, right? There is this thing about like,
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
The world, for whatever reason, right, it does employ this, like, thing, right? It's like, oh, for some reason, everybody respects, like, a middle-aged man of some kind.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
So you mean that pre, kind of when it's wet out, that smell, that New York smell, it's like tinged with urine, right? I was smelling worms, my guy. That's it's so descriptive. I feel like I can smell the worms right now.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Dick used to work on command.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
The natural progression. OK, so quite literally, this is something I think about a lot. All right. More than I should probably. And I it first occurred to me on psychedelics, of course, makes sense. But like your whole body. Right. All your problems, your thoughts, your feelings, all that shit. It's just feedback. Right. In a mechanism that was designed to carry around this pair of nuts.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Like you're literally just a carrying case for the nuts and everything else, all the like, oh, oh wait, oh, what am I? Who am I? What kind of music do I like? All of that bullshit, right? It's just feedback. It's just like feedback to keep the mechanism entertained, right? This computer that's like, it's like murder bot.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
It's just watching fucking movies inside and until it has to like do its imperative or whatever, right? And it should be that once we're past that age, right, that we shouldn't be taking the testosterone. Let's just allow nature to take its course and just become this, like, neutral, gendered, like, dickless, you know, like, nutless blob.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
You were crushing it. Yeah.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Every word you say to say how cool it is makes it less cool as you're going. It's diminishing. I can see it. It's like a pile of sand in the wind.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
I had some ideals.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Did somebody come by and be like, you look like a fucking idiot right now. No.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
No, I still hit that shit. You gotta hit down there, bro.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Yeah. Yeah, no, but look, also, to go back to the comment, right? Like, that women have been saying this shit for years. Look, I am 100% the man you see today is a product of my wife's doing. I was like, when we met, I was like, I don't believe in marriage. It's just whatever. It's a social construct of capitalism. And I don't fuck with that shit.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
And like, you know, I'm a real like, but then I fell in love with her and then we got married. Right. And it's like, like, you know, and she's sort of, Everything I'm doing that's positive for my life, right? I quit smoking cigarettes. I started exercising. I started going to therapy. So my therapist, my one-on-one therapist is also our couples therapist, right?
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
yeah honestly it like it's funny to me because like i say it like only half jokingly is that like that's when you know if you're gonna go into couples therapy and you got any bones to pick it helps to have done some office hours with the uh with the therapist now but but but seriously it is like that has helped me a lot right because man The anger thing, right? It's so pervasive.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Yeah, yeah. But were you doing it to make two worms or were you like being cruel to the worms?
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
I still feel it all the time. I'm by no means past it, right? But now I'm a little better at recognizing it. But man, it's weird because... When people hear that, oh, like, I have a bad temper, they're always surprised because I have a very stony and, like, pretty mellow personality. But I think I've compartmentalized those things a little bit.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
And it's, like, when I get pissed off about something, like, inanimate objects a lot of times, missing my keys or whatever, this fucking blue microphone isn't working right. It's, like, you know, it's, like, I would be, like, what the fuck?
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
stupid you know like that that kind of wow right and like it's and a lot of times by myself in the house but then once you're married to somebody and you snap like that right like and you're you're like literally about like a drippy faucet and you're like you fucking piece of shit right like then then someone's like reflecting it to you right and is like and now you're like oh my god okay it's
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
so difficult to catch yourself in those moments bro it is one of the greatest challenges of my life is catching myself before i get really fucking angry it's like you know what i mean it's like literally like another guy right and then discovering that it's all just like fucking childhood shit right and it's like the more you pick at it and at first i was like oh great so i started doing therapy i just basically pulled all the wires out of the machine and now i'm
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
I got pulled out wires. Fucking great. Why did I even bother doing any of this? But then once you start untangling that shit little by little, right, you realize that you're going to be on this journey until you're literally fucking dead, right?
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Yeah, yeah.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
That's how much our own, you know, like, fathers fucked us up. You know what I mean? Is that like, we just deal with it for the rest of our lives, right? But yeah, so that is definitely and I, you know, we want to have children.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
And then did the smell emanate like when you split the worm that there's a burst of worm smell?
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
And I have had this sort of internal countdown of being like, well, you better figure your shit out before you have a kid because the last thing you want to do is like pass that shit on. You have a child. Did you feel that?
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
I have not seen a worm in a while, actually, come to think of it. I see slugs fairly frequently, but you're right. I haven't seen a worm in a long time. Well, you live in New York City, and maybe they don't have worms in California.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Oh, my God.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
And to create that contrast between like how a young man lives and like, It just feels so ridiculous to me. And also, it just reminds me that I think as you go through life, if you make a point to consume good media, good books, good movies, good film, then increasingly the stuff for idiots looks stupider and stupider to you.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
So it's like, you know, seeing a book like that to be like from dude to dad, you're like, what fucking moron is this for? It made me so angry. Yeah. And look around you at the newsstand at the airport that you're standing in when you see this book and look at the idiots that populate the world.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
I've never heard you say a different percentage.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
100%, I don't fucking care at all, right? Sleeping is something... And also, it's like, you know, like, I don't know. If that feels super French and, like, not in a good way... And, like, I gotta say that, like... That's the take. I don't know. You know what? I'm disappointed in that person.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Okay, so 100% that's a shitty take.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Hmm. I mean...
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
You 100% disagree with my 100% disagreement with this schmuck?
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
No, look, hot is super subjective.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
If... Okay, I got... Oh, I got this shit. I got this shit. Check this out. So if your therapist is hot from the get, right? And you see them, your mind will register and be like, okay, that's a hot person. Just ignore that, right? Like, let's get into the therapy, right?
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Like, I feel like at some point when you tell this person, you know, some personal shit, you know, you are now going to have to move past that. And you're like, this is just a person, right? It's like... It's like having a hot urologist or something. You know what I mean? It's just like, whatever.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
You look like that, yes, but you're the person who sticks their finger in my pee hole or whatever a urologist does, right? Is that what they do? Yes. For sure. I've never been to one, but that's definitely what they do, right?
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Yeah, well, but they're so much more porous, right? Like, a worm has segments, it's organized, right? Like, it's like a train, right? A slug is just, it's just a free-for-all. That's because it has its house on its back, bro.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
But if the person's, like, not as attractive, right, actually you're in more danger because your guard is down of accidentally, like, falling in love with your therapist, right?
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Is that a thing? Do you think that all of our therapists have one patient of their 20 or 30 or however many the fuck they have that's in love with them and they're like, ah, fuck yeah.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
But I feel like this is a pattern with you. It's like you're talking about being a teenager and this being the absolute paramount priority for you. And that now, even with your therapist, you can't set that aside, right? I think that's something that you should talk to a therapist about. And it has to be an attractive therapist. You realize that, right?
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Like you have to talk to an attractive, you have to find the most attractive therapist and you have to be like, hey, look, I am struggling with this thing that I want to impress you. All right. So can you help me figure that out? And she'll talk for 15 minutes and she'll be like, what do you think of that? And you'll be like, I'm still just thinking about fucking you like that.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Yeah, that's it. And she's in Rochester, New York. She's not close by or anything. I guess.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
First of all, 100%. Fuck this person for saying that. Because, yeah, dude, this is how I would host the show, I realize. If you ever need a sub, I'll come in and I'll just be like, 100%, what kind of stupid shit is that to say, you fucking idiot? But I grew up in Thailand. I'm Pakistani. We exclusively do a no-shoes house. 100% agree. Yeah, we have had we have entertained in a no shoes party.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
And actually what you do is you can just buy a gross of fucking spa slippers off of Amazon and just leave them there, you know, for anybody to take a pair. Right. And they can wear them around your house. Whoever said this thing, I also have no idea. I could know the person.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
And she's white.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Yeah, and she would say that because she's a fucking imperialist pig. And even the concept of... Making – okay, we take our shoes off. That's a cultural thing that people from South Asia do, right? That's what people from East Asia do, people from the Middle East, North Africa do, right? We take our shoes off. It's a cultural choice that we have, right?
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Basically, I don't know if that's how they like being identified. I think they don't want to be identified as the negative, as something else minus something is them.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Because we're not filthy. But when white people wear shoes in the house, you know what? I don't go up to them and fucking say they're filthy. Right. I have some respect for the cultural difference. But of course, a fucking British person, a white British person is the last fucking person who's going to have an idea of it, you know, or a sense of cultural acceptance or tolerance. Right.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Because they literally destroyed the world with fucking racism.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
That's the most disgusting thing I've ever heard.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
That I 100% agree with. And I remember this take, and I remember the person being like, this is the one time that I used to be unreachable, right? And I don't like to travel on a plane. After the pandemic, something changed for me. Being on a plane just started to give me more anxiety, you know? But I totally agree because I don't want to be reachable on a plane. You know what I mean?
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Because it feels like that. If there's... It's a shitty experience to have to do air travel, right? And the one thing you get is, like, pure solitude for a little bit, and you can just watch, like, two movies in a row. You don't get to do that anymore as a person, right? So it's like, yeah, I 100% agree.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Yeah, yes, I do remember that. Well, it was something, like, ignorant, right?
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Not true. I wear white sneakers and I fuck. You don't fuck, dude. You don't fuck. I'm telling you, I'm married. I swear. I'm getting laid.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
No, I swear. I swear to God. I have sex.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
No, no, no.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
I have had sex in the past month, all right? And I'll have you know it was fantastic. The reviews were excellent. And I don't, you know, actually forget everything I said. I don't care what you think. Right. Is that, is this, is this working better? I don't care what you think. Cause you know, that's how much I fuck. Like it doesn't, you know, it doesn't make a difference to me.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
And so you do think that I fucked though, right? Because I do. You know what I mean? Like that's a lot of people, but I feel like, I feel like I can take the vibe that you don't really believe me, but I need you to know, I need you to know that I do. Okay.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
I don't think these are even insects. In my mind, I'm not totally sure. Mollusks? Are they mollusks?
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
You can first just please watch my show, Deli Boys. It is on Hulu. Yeah. You know what? That's it. That's my only plug. That's it. Just go watch Daily Boys. And also, I know you're meaning to watch it or it's on your list. Well, our six-week window is closing. So if you want your views to count, really, just start watching that shit right now.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
It's all brown people.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
But if I am in it, I won't send it. So now you have to put pressure on Disney to give us season two.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Is there something wrong with that category?
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
i was like that's actually kind of sick like he's like i do deals like that's what i think that's so whack for that to be the hobby because like music and sports are like bastions of like you know like human experience and making deals it's like bro that's like that's his passion it's whack that's his fashion
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Bro, you supported Trump, man. I heard it here.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Hashtag me too. I'm a Trump supporter.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
you know i i grew up there i didn't personally eat worms when i was there but i know that you know how i knew that is that in the supermarket there's like a was a little like a you know foam tray with what looked like crinkle cut fries like french fries right like pre-made ones but if you look close at it each fry has like a little pair of eyes because they're worms worms have eyes
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
this was a big hit this is a big hit i'm glad to see it i i you know it's it's something i feel to be true i at first was not sure that this would be like the right thing for a subway take because i know it can be kind of specific but i ran two by you if you remember one of them was this one which is sort of the first one that came to mind because i'm 40 you know i grew up
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
in the 90s under the influence of all kinds of toxic media. And, you know, now I've like gone to therapy. I went through the pandemic, right? And I sort of like introspected, worked on myself, whatever, started exercising. I feel like a lot of people have been on that journey. And if you're a man,
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
you know, some of us come to this realization sort of that our habits are part of like this really toxic pattern. You know what I mean? That goes back many generations. And the other one was we should make farting socially acceptable so we can deal with it as a society. And you were like, that one's already been done.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Yeah, yeah.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender. 100% agree.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Oh, yeah? Do you remember who did it?
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
No, men are always enraged. Yeah, I think everyone experiences emotions and the emotional triggers, but men manage their emotions much more poorly. You know, and I think that historically people would say like, oh, women are more emotional because they're expressing their emotions and crying or whatever, right? But they're getting past it. They're processing it in a healthy way. We do not do that.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Yeah, yeah. Farting is a real, like, it's a bummer. You know what I mean? It's the constant, like, you know, it's universal, and it'll never go away. If you're married to someone, if you spend a lot of time with someone, you're going to smell their fart eventually, right? But, I mean, you know, I think that... You know, just to elaborate on the take that I didn't end up doing. Right.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
If we accept it as a society, say like, look, this this shit is happening. Right. And we need to come up with socially acceptable products or, you know, like products. Yeah.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Can you imagine the hell of that bag, like, accidentally ripping open? Leaking. Leaking. It's like cat litter. OK, so I use a thing called a litter genie. We're also a two cat household as you are. And there's a thing called the litter genie. You scoop the poop and it keeps the smell off. But like sometimes the bag runs out and then you're like, why does it smell like?
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
And one of our cats, Frank, his shits are like he doesn't cover them because he's such a. Oh, no, he's a boy. He's a savage. Right. And they're the stinkiest poops. So, you know, and the thing is, look, there is a, we've accepted that that's a part of life here. And so we came up with a solution and it's a literal fart bag for your cat shit and piss, right?
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
And it's like, you know, you figure it out, right? You're like, it's happening. It's a bummer, but it's happening. Let's deal with it, right? Same thing with farts.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Yo, mad respect. There was the Portlandia sketch about mad respect. These are the things I respect. You know, about the fart patio, which I think is if you eat a lot of vegan food or whatever, which I feel like people do, right? There's a patio you can go. I've actually never seen the sketch, but my wife told me about it.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. But, but, but, but I, I do think, yes, I ran it by, you know, my wife, I ran it by, admittedly, I also ran it by the deli boys writers. Okay. I had, I had an advantage that I had a few other subway takes guests have, which is I have a writer's room, the deli boys writers room, very powerful writer's room. Uh, and I just texted the chain and was like, Hey guys, uh,
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
you know what do you think of these takes and and there was a bunch of people um you know specifically women seemed to respond and they were like that's a good take right and that it's meaning that it would open up interesting conversation i think that there's a degree of like Fear I had of sounding like, you know, whatever, like douchebag a little bit, right? With a take like that.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
But I literally am like, I'm not even trying to denigrate being a man or whatever. Like, I think it's important to...
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
represent and say oh i can be a man and still be admit my faults or whatever right um without trying to sound like you're like lecturing you know what i mean in a sense but i i think that you are a very talented host and you know specifically in watching i've watched a lot i've always watched the show but i've like re-watched a lot more in succession since i was on right
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
And I got to say that you really do hold the tone of the show in your pattern of conversation. Oh, thanks, man.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Sadness because it's really hard to actually, like, feel it without just getting angry, you know, and being like, oh, like, I'm stupid for being sad. You know what I mean? And then, like, you know, it's stuff that men have essentially set up society. That's a big bad thing. That's a big bad thing because look at where we're at today, right? We're not in a good place.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
Dude, I literally, I would laugh, but I literally spent like a decade of my career trying to do exactly that.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
I was horizontal, yes.
SubwayTakes
"Men are by far the more emotional and hysterical gender!!" with Abdullah Saeed
But back then, like, you know, horizontal ain't shit compared to vertical. Come on, man. Look at the amount of people who watch vertical.