I'm Canceling Christmas Trees

116.826 - 137.362 Matt Walsh

It's like if we're all stressed out about how to capture a squirrel from the forest and train it to do jumping jacks. The most stress-free way of doing that is to not do it because it's bizarre and pointless. And there are a million better ways to spend your time. But as far as trees go, you have two options, right? You can go out and buy a real tree or you can purchase an imposter.