Dave Barry is so funny, he won a Pulitzer Prize for making people laugh. In this episode of South Beach Sessions, Dan and Dave explore their decades of friendship– including all of the inspiration Dave has given Dan… With extreme honesty, Dave speaks about losing his parents, the source of his humor and warmth, early on in life. He opens up about his regrets over his mother’s death, all the while explaining why family was such a source of joy despite the loss. But life is full of joy alongside sorrow, and there’s plenty of joy here. Dan and Dave also reminisce about the good old days of journalism and opine on the beauty of romance, including a story about how Dave convinced Dan to get married. Dave’s upcoming memoir, CLASS CLOWN: The Memoirs of a Professional Wiseass, is available for pre-order on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or wherever you get your books. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: Who is Dave Barry and what makes him notable?
Lookie here, an old-timey newspaper writer. They still make those. A dinosaur from the golden age of newspapers. When a man can win a Pulitzer Prize for being funny. He's a New York Times best-selling author. He's a colleague of mine for decades. He is Dave Barry. He's a novelist whose last novel, I will tell you, I will give you one of the greatest compliments I think I can give.
You actually read it.
Made me feel like I was reading Carl Hiaasen. Oh, that is – I'll take that. Right? I'll take that compliment. But you would say that Swamp Story – and I want to talk to you about your career. I want to talk to you about your life because I find you, beyond the laughter, to be uncommonly wise about what matters in life. Well, that's not – Accurate, but okay. That love, that love is what matters.
You have been, you, in seeking marital bliss, were a bit of a mentor to me on what could be possible.
Well, I told you to get married, but that's because I'm married to a Cuban Jewish woman who couldn't stand, could not stand the idea that you were walking around not being married. And I'm a guy, and I'm thinking, well, he's dating a lot of very attractive women. Why shouldn't he get married?
That was my feeling.
But I would not say that. But Michelle was pretty much determined that you should marry somebody, preferably immediately. Because I remember once, and I hope your current wife, who's a beautiful woman, is not listening to this right now, or ever, but... But we went out to dinner with you. You may not remember this. My wife, Michelle, and I went out with the woman you were dating at the time.
I do remember this.
It was like Miss Venezuela. We were in Miami Beach. I remember several lovely evenings with you having too much to drink. One at Marlin Spring Training and this evening that you're talking about.
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Chapter 2: How did Dave Barry influence Dan's views on marriage?
No, it was traumatic, but I was like in my 40s. My... I mean, I had become a successful humor columnist at this point. My dad died, and my mom just was not dealing with it well.
And we went through this phase, and like if you have older parents, then a lot of people know what this phase is, where the dynamic starts to shift from they're your parent to like you're both neutral sort of, then you become sort of their... So my mom had this house in Armonk, New York that my dad built with his hands and that I grew up in.
And we all told her, you can't keep the house because it's in the middle of the woods and it's too big. And you need to sell your house and move on with your life. And so she sold the house. And then she didn't know where to go. And she would come to Florida, live with me for a while. Then she would go out to California, where both my brothers lived, and live with one, live with another.
Just couldn't. And so I vividly remember the last time I saw her, she called me up and said she wanted to go to Connecticut and look at this community in Connecticut that some friends of hers had lived in. You know, so I said, OK, you know, your mom's your mom. So I fly up and meet her in Hartford, Connecticut, rent a car. We drive to this place and all the way there.
I'm like, she's telling me, you know, stuff about she misses dad. She misses. And I'm like, Mom, you gotta you gotta look ahead. You gotta you know, you still have friends. You have money because you sold the house. And, you know, we you know, and she's like sad and and And I'm like pushing her like, Mom, you got to do that. You got to do like I know what she's going through. Right.
So we finally we get to I think it was Essex, Connecticut or whatever. And immediately I can see, you know, that she doesn't want to be there. That's not really where she went. What she wants to be is like a couple of years ago earlier back in our work with my dad, which will never happen. You know, he's gone. But I'm like, Mom, you got to.
And so like the next morning we have this really tense breakfast in the motel. And I'm like, mom, you have to, you have to make a decision. This is ridiculous. You can't keep moving from, you know, the brother to brother. Just stay with us if you want, but you got to pick, you got to pick what you want to do.
You got to do, because I know now, you know, I'm 40 and I'm a successful columnist and you don't know what you're doing. Anyway. And I bought her a map. I'll never forgive myself for this. A map of the United States. Like, pick a place. I'll take you there. We'll figure it out. Okay. And so she hugs me goodbye, put her on the plane.
She's going back out to one of my brothers in Sunnyvale, California, which she also hates, to try to figure out what she wants to do next. And then a couple weeks later, my brothers and I all got birthday cards from her. You know, happy birthday, I love you. And it wasn't our birthdays. But she's just, you know, telling us she loved us. And the next thing I know, I get a phone call.
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