This week on The Broski Report, Fearless Leader Brittany Broski analyzes her caffeine intake, discusses The Lamp Dream, learns the science behind the Aurora Borealis, and unpacks Hozier lyrics. 👕 Get your merch here: https://broski.shop/ Follow The Broski Report: https://www.linktr.ee/broskireport https://www.tiktok.com/@broskireport https://instagram.com/broskireport Follow Brittany: https://www.tiktok.com/@brittany_broski https://instagram.com/brittany_broski https://youtube.com/brittany_broski Follow Royal Court: https://www.youtube.com/@royalcourt https://www.tiktok.com/@bbroyalcourt https://www.instagram.com/royalcourt https://www.twitter.com/bbroyalcourt Brought to You By: Seat Geek – Get 10% off any tickets. Download the app and use code BROSKI2025 PDS Debt – Get your free debt analysis at https://pds.com/broski Songs of The Week: Foreigner’s God by Hozier Swan Upon Leda by Hozier To Be Alone by Hozier Reproductive Resources: https://aidaccess.org https://plancpills.org https://Ineedana.com https://www.reprolegalhelpline.org/ https://heyjane.com LGBTQ+ Resources: https://Translifeline.org https://Glaad.org https://Pflag.org https://www.thetrevorproject.org/ Climate Resources: https://Oceanconservancy.org https://Climateemergencyfund.org Some helpful credible resources/links to help Free Palestine: Palestinian Children’s Relief Fund - https://www.pcrf.net/ UNICEF - https://www.unicefusa.org/stories/helping-gazas-children-cope-trauma Doctors Without Borders - https://donate.doctorswithoutborders.org/secure/give-monthly-double-your-impact-search-onetime-reverse-mobile?ms=ADD2301U3U49&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=BRAND.DWB_CKMSF-BRAND.DWB-GS-GS-ALL-DWBBrand.E-BO-ALL-RSA-RSARefresh.1-MONTHLY&gclid=Cj0KCQjw6PGxBhCVARIsAIumnWZpQAMikxPIRiPMfAjYsJZ-eHiRQV2pw7tu2Jlo6YL8Gk_uaTSwH0MaAtFGEALw_wc World Central Kitchen - https://wck.org/ World Health Organization - https://www.who.int/ Headcount - https://www.headcount.org/ IG ACCOUNTS TO FOLLOW: @eye.on.palestine @aljazeeraenglish @palestinianyouthmovement @byplestia @motaz_azaiza @impact CHAPTERS: 00:00 – Intro 02:27 – Gross Men 06:02 – Caffeine Intake 07:15 – Immortality 12:25 – The Lamp Dream 23:09 – Meaning of Life 34:38 – Northern Lights 38:08 – Reading Update 41:40 – Hozier Lyric Breakdown 1:05:10 – Outro #brittanybroski, #broski, #broskination, #broskireport, #future, #johnlennon, #redbull, #coffee, #immortality, #druski, #thelampdream, #northernlights, #hozier
Chapter 1: What is Brittany Broski's caffeine intake routine?
There's something about a white guy that when they get to a certain age or they're into a certain type of media, they're like, it's okay, I can grow my hair out this long. And they're wrong. because it's not in a sort of Fabian kind of fantasy romance novel lead way, you know, where he's got war braids, okay? John Lennon didn't have war braids. We weren't doing Viking John Lennon.
We're doing stinky, greasy, stringy, long hair on a white dude, okay? And there's nothing worse because you can smell that musk from 30 feet away.
Did y'all see that video of that motherfucker who worked at GameStop who had a full-blown just skiddy? He showed up, clocked into that ship, skid mark on the turlet on the seat of his pants.
I mean, do you know how intense a skid mark has to be to be visible outside the pants? Crazy work. We're doing skiddies outside? Damn. Yeah, I used to talk to this one guy. I used to talk to this one guy. I don't know if I told y'all this, but he said that, I said, I don't know why we were talking about this. I said, do you wash your butt in the shower? And he said, no, I don't touch my butt.
That's gay.
Oh, right, right, right, right, right. Hey, sorry for asking.
By the way, we're breaking up. By the way, don't ever hit my line. Do you wash your butt in the shower? No, I don't. That's gay. Got it.
Who'd you vote for?
Okay. And I know who you voted for. Damn. Stinky ass, stringy, greasy hair, GameStop ass dude. I'm mad. I'm pissed off. I'm mad as fuck. This is the pickings! This is the pickings. I'm pissed off. A white guy feels super empowered when they reach a certain age like that. That's just, and there's a market for it, okay? There are plenty of young women and people who go for that.
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Chapter 2: What is 'The Lamp Dream' and its significance?
Chapter 3: How does Brittany Broski view immortality?
They were doing some crazy hairstyles and probably sleeping with some minors. You know, that was sort of... It was hand in hand. You had a crazy Jimmy Page haircut and you were, you know, sort of being intimate with 15-year-olds. And I don't really know what the correlation is there. I don't really know what that is. Makes me sick, though. So...
Anyway. Yeah, I've had, I started my morning with a Cortado.
Guess what a Cortado is? Three espresso shots. That was at 8 a.m. It's 7 p.m. Okay, then I had a Red Bull. Then I had a coffee. Then I had another Red Bull, a blueberry Red Bull. And then as of recently, I had a Red Bull Zero Sugar. or Red Bull Zero, and they've got monkey fruit. They do monkey fruit in there. What is it? Sugar, Red Bull, monkey fruit.
Oh, pardon me, monk fruit. Monk.
Monkey, what is monk fruit in Red Bull? What the fuck is monk fruit? Monk fruit extract, a plant-based sweetener. combines with erythritol, a sugar alcohol, and sucralose. You know what makes me feel good about that is that I can't pronounce any of those ingredients and also surely none of it's in the Bible. That's how you know it's good for you. That's how you know it's going to embalm you.
Once again, a topic that continues to come up on this podcast and in my life that has no means being a sort of evergreen topic that we should always be discussing or that somehow always comes up in conversation. But here it is, once again, being immortal is not a blessing, okay? And everyone knows my opinions on being immortal. It's a curse, right? That the beauty of life is that it's finite.
And Caleb and I talked about this, that your cup— It empties, okay? The cup doesn't runneth over. The cup empties, and that's what makes the monkey fruit so sweet. That's what makes the hydradextrin erythritol sugar alcohol sucralose so delicious, okay, is that it's not forever. But I think I've changed my mind on it. I'd like to live forever now. And I believe. I believe. I believe. I believe.
That's from Book of Mormon. And that's a funny, it's actually a funny song because in Book of Mormon, that whole song is pointing out how kind of silly some of their beliefs are. I believe that a man came down and granted only the Mormons with eternal life. That's kind of the song. Anyway, I do believe that I've consumed enough Red Bull in my lifetime that I am preserved.
You see my beautiful glowing skin. You see my strong little frame, okay? You see my pearlescent my pearlescent shine. And I know you're wondering, how does she have that beauty of youth? How does she have that eternal life glow? Well, Monkey Fruit Red Bull, make it for asking. They're never going to sponsor me.
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Chapter 4: What are Brittany Broski's thoughts on the Aurora Borealis?
Chapter 5: What does Brittany Broski think about the science behind dreams?
I think I just have a complex. But I have had dreams where I've met the love of my life and we have lived together beautifully and happily and I... And in the dream, you know what it feels like to touch their face and the nuances of how they speak and the color flecks in their eyes. And it's that weird thing of this is another repeat thing that happens in some of my dreams.
And it's happened with this one in particular where they're saying something and I can't hear them. And I keep saying, what was that? What was that? And I can't understand what they're saying. Or they keep repeating it and they're getting frustrated at me because I can't understand them and I can't. And then I wake up. Okay, they're mad at me. They're not real.
And I need to get my hearing checked. Oh, it's like you wake up in this weird, I honestly, that is the source material for a fucking book. that half dreamlike state of, it's almost a purgatory, but purgatory not with a negative connotation, unless it is. Usually it's a positive connotation of like trying to situate myself after a dream of waking up and where am I? Oh yeah, I know where I am.
And oh yeah, I was dreaming. That halfway state, what is that called? Because I sometimes, I have a fascination with that being potentially a different realm of consciousness, which isn't that outlandish to think about being real. You know, it's not like conspiracy theorist shit. It's like, we know that the human brain is capable of creating alternate realities to cope.
Or like I was talking about last week with Streetcar Named Desire, like it's this, and also with 1984, Double Think, you know, all these, the human brain, is so complex and it is so hyper-intelligent that we are able to construct things to protect ourselves and to protect our feeble and fragile sanity. And if that involves going somewhere else, who's to say where that is?
In a world that we've created, a world of pure imaginations. then so be it. You know, the human brain, whether or not we tell it to, will create that.
And it's very interesting to think so many millennium or hundreds of years of doctors and scientists not having the means to accurately study all the neural pathways and synapses and all these connections that the brain can make and trauma responses and you know, created worlds and realities to protect something that was hurt.
You know, when you are hurt, what a beautiful concept that your mind tries to fix it for you, you know, tries to make the pain go away. And I don't know if it can, not fully, not 100%, but it will do its best.
And even tied to practices like, you know, Buddhism or things that denying yourself earthly pleasures or meditating to get to that higher version of yourself, higher version of self, where you're no longer in the physical. You're no longer in the physical realm. You are somewhere up here in the in-between. You're in a higher conscious. And that feels so fucking yogi bullshit.
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Chapter 6: How does Brittany Broski interpret Hozier's lyrics?
A husband waits outside. A crying child pushes a child into the night. She was told he would come this time without leaving so much as a feather behind. To enact at last the perfect plan, one more sweet boy to be butchered by man. But the gateway to the world was still outside the reach of him, would never belong to angels, had never belonged to men. The swan upon Leda, empire upon Jerusalem.
A grandmother smuggling meds passed where the god-child soldier Setanta stood dead. Our graceful turner of heads. Weaves through the checkpoints like a needle and thread. Someone's frightened boy waves her on. She offers a mother's smile as soon as she's gone. The gateway to the world, the gun in a trembling hand. Where nature unmakes the boundary, the pillar of myth still stands.
The swan upon Leda, occupier upon ancient land. The gateway to the world was still outside the reach of him. Wood never belonged to angels, had never belonged to men.
So let's go ahead and dissect this.
So a lot of themes here. I don't know what genius is about to sort of detail here, but again, we're dealing with themes of war and abortion and forced pregnancies and separated families and occupied lands and colonialism. And I mean, the list just goes on and on because they're, they're all intertwined. They're all coexisting and one is a cause of the other, you know?
So first of all, let's, let's look up Swan upon Leda and, And if I'm not mistaken, I think that this is... It's an old myth and it has to do with a god assaulting a goddess or a nymph and... Some form of that, some form of a male god exerting dominance and sexual ownership over a goddess. I'm fairly certain. Let me go ahead and double check.
In Greek mythology, the myth of Leda and the swan tells of Zeus seducing Leda, the queen of Sparta, in the form of a swan. Zeus, the king of the gods, transformed into a swan to seduce Leda. Leda slept with the swan and then with her husband, King Tyndareus, on the same night. Leda laid two eggs that hatched four children.
Helene... Okay, so knowing that it's a myth, let's go back to the lyrics and... Let's go, I guess, line for line. Buckle up. Buckle in. So, yes, this does reference Zeus as the swan assaulting Leda and her burying his children. as is custom of the olden times, a husband would wait outside while the wife gives birth. The second line, a crying child pushes a child into the night.
I think we can sort of understand what he's saying there. She was told he would come this time without leaving so much as a feather behind to enact at last the perfect plan, one more sweet boy to be butchered by men. So that's the swan leaving.
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