Tanya
Appearances
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
Yes and no. Hold on. I think yes because it depends on how old you are.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
Two of my best male friends have been coercing me to go get my eggs frozen. My male friends.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
But also, I think it is rude in that. But I also think it's like, if you're in your 30s, or mid-30s especially, and you've been with a guy for like a year.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
And you're like, fuck, I only have a couple more years left. Yeah.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
So then it's true. It is rooted in that. And then there's also intertwined, like, all the other attachment stuff.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
I don't think you got one.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
100%. 100%.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
That's 100% why the tech companies all do that.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
So same as PTO, by the way. Why do you think companies give PTO?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
Basically, tech companies give unlimited PTO.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
The whole point is when you give someone two weeks and then they don't take it, you have to pay them out for it. When it's unlimited and most people in tech companies, they won't even take their PTO.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
Yeah, exactly. It's like, especially in America, it's like you're always working, you're always working. Even if you're traveling, you're answering emails, but then the companies don't have to pay them out. So it's like they do it for like a tax purposes.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
So it's the same thing with the freezing your eggs bullshit.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
Oh, thanks.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
We got witnesses, everybody. I hope, Zach, you're listening.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
But you just offered.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
I'll tell you right now, I don't want that.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
Yeah, but the money comes with control also, which is the part that I don't like. Yeah, that is bad. How do we have control? What an illusion. If you're paying for everything, paying for the house. We're married. Yeah, until you start cheating, and then there's a divorce, and then the woman's stuck with nothing. Nothing? Well, that's how you signed a prenup.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
Not you specifically.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
You should have.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
And then, because, I mean, this was my biggest resentment in Montreal, girls my generation.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
Yeah, talk. It's like our mothers all went through the same thing. They didn't work. The second they started a family, they didn't work. The husband's made all the money. The husbands are going off on business trips. They're fucking around. They're cheating. Women want to stay divorced. And then the women are stuck with nothing.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
And they still, even after divorced, have to rely on the husband to provide whatever they choose. It's like alimony, right?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
I don't mind you get half. I do. Wait, listen to this argument again.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
Isn't that what alimony essentially is? No.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
What happened?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
Andrew, wait, this is a good question for Andrew.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
Okay, so you're successful.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
You're successful when you met Emma. You made X amount.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
Right? And now you're significantly more successful than then.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
And you have a baby. And you prefer that she stays at home with the baby because that's how you want your child. That's an assumption. No, that's what I'm saying. Assuming that that's what happens.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
It's not true? No. Because a lot of fathers actually prefer that the mother raises the kid. Sure.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
Right.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
Sometimes it's, they prefer it for the, for family purposes. Sometimes if you like actually do the math, it almost becomes more expensive to hire nannies and everything than the mother's salary. Yeah.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
At that moment in time. So she quits her job. She stays at home. And then let's say when she does, if she decides to go back to work eventually after you've had three kids, whatever, she's now 10 years behind in her career versus where she would have been.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
So then that's where the growth of when you got married versus where you are now comes into play, which is not fair to just get, let's say, half of like when you started.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
No, that's 100%.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
But usually the way the judge looks at it, I'm pretty sure, is to maintain the same... To maintain the same lifestyle as when you were married. So it's like if you were buying your wife a Chanel every year.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
Oh my God, the amount of times people do that. That is like the oldest trick in the book. That is the oldest trick in the book.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
Oh, let me try. Oh, I'm going down there for 45 minutes. This one, bitches being fucking dumb. Are you calling for that one?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
Some women, yes.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
It's almost like analysis paralysis here. That's what I'm saying.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
Same vice versa.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
But I think it also depends on age.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
Yeah.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
I mean, what you were saying earlier. We're just looking for. I'm 34 years old. I'm not dating a bartender.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
i think it depends on first of all age and where you live i think that's like a big thing okay like if you're like when i was like a 25 year old living in montreal and everyone was coupled up yeah then it feels like oh it sucks to be alone because you no longer have fun things to do with your friends when everyone's coupled up and getting married and you're just lonely and dying yeah and also everyone's like pressure it's like societally like that is an age in montreal where like you have to be settling down
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
usually there's one picture with a group and the rest are like solo so you can figure out which one it is are you asking are we gonna date the ugliest guy in their group or you're not sure who the guy yeah would that be an issue if he was the ugliest guy in the group but what if he was no not at all it's not an issue but you're doing yourself a disservice posting something on your profile where your your boy looks hotter than you like what does it matter we don't care about that
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
You're supposed to, what, not have hot friends and only have ugly friends?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
No, in all honesty, though, I agree with what Andrew's saying. Like when I'm like when I was like dating, I thought about like the primary values first, not like the stupid other shit. You know what I mean?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
the trick is to be jewish yeah because that whittles it down it was like respect generosity like that need to like care for me and i have a future not fuck around like all that other stuff was more important than like i don't give a fuck about flowers i kill them in a day anyway like
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
But to me, that is a lot of the effort is, like, those, like, primary things first, and then everything else is kind of, like, icing on the cake. Like, if he doesn't send me a playlist or...
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
send me flowers but like on a day-to-day basis there's like respect and also like little things i feel like effort like for example exactly when it's cold outside he like walks frankie because like i don't know what i'm talking about but that that's effort but that also comes down to like oh he's gonna he takes care of me filling up your water that's a big one which one we're filling up the girl's water that's like to go to the kitchen fill up both fill up the water little stuff like that man fill up the water that's what i totally agree but like that's not the same as like
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
making reservations and sending flowers and like surprising me with all these other things.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
I think y'all are getting neither.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
It doesn't require planning. That's the difference.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
But do you think this is a problem of also how... your generation kind of brought that on themselves with the whole like equality thing. It's like you want everything to be equal. And I'm like, okay, well.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
But it's like that is a thing that happened. That happened with the whole society being like, oh, men and women are exactly equal. Everything is the exact same. And you guys made it seem like it looks that they're looking down upon you if they treat you a certain way. So then they just naturally start stop doing things.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
But it's also fair.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
When we move in together, we're expecting... They knew it, they knew it. We're doing all the cleaning because we want it to be clean. Not for them. They don't give a fuck if it's clean. Zach didn't have garbage in his bathroom until I moved in. He would use his washing machine as the hamper. Like his socks would go from the thing into the drawer with not one thing for it.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
I'm doing it for myself, not for him. He doesn't give a fuck. So that cleaning thing is on me, not him.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
It's so easy. Honestly, men are so easy.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
Honestly, men are easy. It's like they want the most basic primal things in life.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
And it hasn't changed in thousands of years. They want you to look good. They want good sex. And they want to be fed. And they want fucking attention. They want constant love and affection and attention. That's really it. Those little things on top are all extra that we think we have to do for them, but they don't really give a fuck about those little things.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
We just resent how stupid you are.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
Stupid and lazy.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
And I think I do a lot of thoughtful things. That didn't even cross my mind. It's anything that seems like you're paying attention.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
We want you to pay. Exactly.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
No, but hold on. The paying is like a generosity thing. And I think biologically, we haven't evolved over time. We still want to make sure.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
I think about women like Akash's wife, who are constantly on TikTok.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Women Want Effort, “Girl Bosses” Ruined Dating, Samay Raina & Ranveer Allahbadia Controversy
I watch hours of her TikTok.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: DIY Disaster
I know, right? The 70s is when my name peaked. If you look at the bell curve for popularity of your name, there's not very many of us.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: DIY Disaster
Sure she was. I'm a 75 baby like you.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: DIY Disaster
This summer. I'm getting scared. It's going to be great.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: DIY Disaster
And huge. It happens to all of us.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: DIY Disaster
I am in Utah in a oral surgery office of the man that this story is about. I'm working for my dad today.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: DIY Disaster
He is an oral surgeon. He pulls teeth. Perio, I think, is about gums. He still works. He's 84 years old. Wow. And he works on a semi-retired schedule. He's just finishing up his afternoon nap. Oh, what a stud. This is great.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: DIY Disaster
Okay, so this is a landscaping DIY disaster. A few things about my dad that you need to know is that he is a genius. But this is usually what gets him in trouble. He knows how to do things. He knows how to figure them out if he doesn't. He is big on self-sufficiency. His parents were World War II age vets.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: DIY Disaster
Another thing about his brilliance is he skipped out on the last year of college when he took his entrance exam into dental school because his scores were so high that they admitted him. Wow. Immediately. My dad has only ever paid for landscaping once in his life, and that was in the last 10 years. At 85, he still maintains five acres of land, and my mom, who's 80, mows the lawn.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: DIY Disaster
He will spend a dollar to save a penny. He's that kind of a person. And the same goes for his time. He will work an idea 100 times over. He's very persistent. He does not give up. Also, the last thing you need to know about our family is Saturday Chorday was an all-day thing. If you stayed the night at somebody's house, you had to be back in time for chores.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: DIY Disaster
If somebody stayed the night at your house, they either needed to leave or help out. There are eight kids in our family.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: DIY Disaster
But this story does not take place in Utah. I was raised in the Central Valley of California, San Joaquin Valley, outside of Fresno. This is 96 maybe. I'm home from college. My dad had a job for us to do for the summer. It included my older brother who was in college, myself, and my younger sister who was in college. So this is probably May. And we had a newish house.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: DIY Disaster
We had built a pool the summer before. And now my dad is trying to landscape the backyard. In digging our pool, we found out that there is about 12 to 18 inches of what's called hardpan. It's thick concrete-like soil. You can't penetrate it. You can use a pickaxe all you want. You're never going to get to the bottom of it. But there is an orange grove in the back of our property.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: DIY Disaster
So how the heck did they get there?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: DIY Disaster
trees planted he finds out that you can get an ag permit for dynamite oh perfect now we're talking in the two acres that we have he would need to plant 60 trees so he figures out the recipe he researches how to do it he knows where to get all the stuff it's getting close to blasting day we had to rent an auger sure you gotta drill a hole and dump the dynamite in there
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: DIY Disaster
We had to put like 30 inches down into the ground. That took three days to do all 60 holes. And it's blasting day. My dad took off work.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: DIY Disaster
The only reason I know he took off work is that my two younger siblings were at school and my youngest sister was home with the chicken pox. We start in the far, far back part of our property, two acres. So pretty far. We put one scoop in. One scoop was about the size of a paint can, a small quart. My brother lights it. We all run. And there is a kaboom, like a howitzer cannon kaboom.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: DIY Disaster
So it was a little bit anticlimactic and no earth moved at all. Okay. It just shot straight out of it like a cannon. So dad being a Mr. Scientist, he treated it like a science experiment. We changed one thing. So some of the things we tried was stuffing it with a blanket to make it push out like a firecracker. We tried chicken wire in a blanket. We tried a big, huge boulder.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: DIY Disaster
Things weren't working. So now we're increasing the number of scoots. We go to two. Oh, boy. We finally get up to three.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: DIY Disaster
This is like when you take too many drugs because the drugs haven't hit you.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: DIY Disaster
We're up to three scoops in the hole. My mom calls my brother and my sister and I that were home from college. We had to leave for an eye doctor appointment. We take off. Uh-oh. At the last second, she makes my little sister with the chicken pox come with us. She didn't want to leave dad experimenting with dynamite with a sick little girl inside. So he's doing it all by himself.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: DIY Disaster
We come home, country roads, everybody has a couple acres, and we're at our neighbor's house, and there are dirt clods everywhere.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: DIY Disaster
And the closer we get to our house, there's more.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: DIY Disaster
We're getting scared. The closer we get to the driveway to the house, it's so much that my brother just undoes the van door, huge Mormon van door, by the way, And we bolt out of there and we just head towards the back of the property. And we're looking for body parts, honestly. Like, where is dad? Oh. So the hole back there is massive.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: DIY Disaster
Exactly. New spa. Dax, you could lay in the bottom of it with your arms outstretched and just be fine. Wow.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: DIY Disaster
Then we hear some laughter coming from the inside of the house. And my other sisters were in there with my mom. And we go inside. My brother and I run over there. My dad is laying on the bed of his bedroom. There's a tarp on the floor. There's a ladder set up. There's a bucket of tools and a 12-inch hole in the ceiling.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: DIY Disaster
It came through the house. It blew up in the air. Oh, my.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: DIY Disaster
It took about two weeks for him to finally tell the story. He was telling some tall tales all along the way. He was saying things like, oh, an alien must have come and tried to get me and the laser beam shot through the roof. Or I was kicking and screaming when the aliens were trying to get me and I kicked a hole in the roof. He's a little rascal.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: DIY Disaster
He has a lot of different tall tales he tells, and Aliens is a favorite of his. A go-to. About two weeks later at family dinner, he finally fessed up to the whole story. With the three scoops in the hole, the boulder nearby, he had remembered there are these things called boosters or blasting caps that fit over the detonator. And it gives you maximum explosion with minimal amount of dynamite.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: DIY Disaster
And he is being pelted by all of these little dirt clods all around him. And he comes to and he sees the rock up in the sky. And the rock is pretty big, maybe 24 inches. Splits in two. One lands in the orange grove behind our house. And the other just gets swallowed up into the house. Oh, wow.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: DIY Disaster
Yeah. He never had anybody fix it. He tried to fix it himself that afternoon before we got home, but it was time for a nap. Just like he loves and he does his best thinking in nap time.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: DIY Disaster
So we did finish up. We ended up only needing a third of a scoop through trial and error. I am shocked that we didn't blow all the windows out of our house from that first one because the rattle was so big. My brother heard it about a mile away after school, and he was just like, what is going on? Our neighbors called the cops on us, but he had a permit. He showed that cop exactly what he had.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: DIY Disaster
Carry on, sir. Ha ha. Mind your own business.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: DIY Disaster
We've got things under control here. And I think it was kind of exciting too. She was mad because her horses were losing their mind.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: DIY Disaster
We did get a twofer in that whole thing because that big old pit turned into a fire pit. Okay. All of our friends started calling him Dr. Boom Boom. Well, that's great. That's a great story.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: DIY Disaster
Let me see if he's around. If you would like to meet this mad scientist.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: DIY Disaster
Give me one second. You got to come right now. Here he is.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: DIY Disaster
When I told him we were going to do this, he said, I'll ask him if he wants to go for round two. Do you have any holes that need to be dug?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: DIY Disaster
No problem. Glad to share it. All right.