Rita Moreno
Appearances
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
My mom did. She did. You know, she had little skin cancer things, but I've never had a problem with my skin. It doesn't mean I don't have wrinkles. You just can't see them here.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
No, that's even better because I'm out of focus. Yeah, out of focus is always good. Whereas my mom would say, you are out of focus. My mother said the most wonderful things, the best thing she ever said. And I can't always tell this story, but I know I can with you. Tell me. My brother was graduating from high school, and she gave him a little party. And she had about, I don't know, about...
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
Ten people, grownups. And she was so proud of him that he was graduating from, as she called it, junior high. Oh. Junior high. And she said, everybody, I want to say something. Okay. And she said, I am so proud. I just want to tell you that he is graduating today from LeConte Junior High. Can you imagine the expressions on faces?
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
I mean, there were people who... I mean, there were eyes that went like this. Big, big eyes. And I remember I ran to her and I said... Mommy, for God's sake. But she didn't know. She didn't know. No, I know. Of course not. But it was also very, very annoying, too, sometimes. And I said, A-E-I-O-U. Can't you say that? Can't you say? She said, no.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
And you know very well why I got trouble with my bowels. So leave me alone. She was funny.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
Actually, if she were alive, you should ask her, because I'll never understand how she did it. She had two or three jobs at once. My mother was a wonderful seamstress. She had jobs sewing. She would leave me with a friend, and she would go down to the... The district where they do all the sewing and that kind of stuff. The garment district? Thank you.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
That's the one thing that's happened since I became this age. I forget nouns. That's fine. I'm here for you. I'm here for you. Okay. Anyway, she did that. She took me to shows. She took me to dancing class. I used to dance for Grandpa in Puerto Rico. And that's how it all started, because I used to dance to records. And he loved it. He'd clap in time, and he'd laugh, and he'd smile.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
And I remember thinking, this is nice. I like this. I like this a lot. Yeah. That hasn't changed. I love the attention. Yes. I mean, everybody, every actor, not every, but many actors who say they don't are full of shit. They like the attention. They do.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
Or let's put it this way. They need the attention. Yeah, that's the way to say it. I need it. I'm an attention person. I love it when people say, I love you. That's swell. It's not as though I'm fighting and battling all these fans. I don't have that kind of career or life. So it's cool. And I just moved from a big house to a condo in a lovely little town near San Francisco.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
And I always know when they recognize me, now that it's a small town, because I get this a lot.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
Right. And sometimes there's a question in their face, and I say, yes, I am.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
That reminds me of something, and I have to say it when I can think of it, because otherwise I'll forget.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
I do a talk, and it's about myself, and it's not on paper. It's somebody having a conversation with me. So it's called A Conversation with Rita Moreno. And I never know what they're going to ask, because I usually don't know the person who's going to do this. Oh, I see. But they know me, and they know my career, et cetera, et cetera. Yeah. And...
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
I did it recently somewhere, and somebody said to me afterward, my God, you are—what's the movie that Tom Hanks did where he played that wonderful character? Life is like a box of chocolate. Forrest Gump. Somebody said, you're Forrest Gump because you've done everything. You've been Washington, D.C., The Walk on Washington. Yes. Marlon Brando. was your lover. Yes. You dated Elvis Presley.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
And I talk about all of that stuff. And sometimes it's hilarious. Sometimes it's heartbreaking. Yes. Because being in this business, being this age, particularly now, is difficult. You don't get the jobs that you used to. But when he said Forrest Gump, I said, you know, I think you're right. Yeah. I've done it all, almost. You've done it all.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
Do you know my wonderful story about Martin Luther King?
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
That's right, because I brought it up.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
I was 10 feet away on a chair sitting next to Sammy Davis Jr. And Martin Luther King gets up to speak.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
And he starts a speech that was not the one we know at the March on Washington. Yes. And at that point, his very dear friend, who was that gospel singer? Oh, God.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
And she reaches for the back of his jacket because he started another speech that she was not expecting. I saw this and I heard this. She says, Martin. Tell him about the dream, Martin. She's tugging on his jacket. And he literally stopped and started again. It didn't seem that way. You know, who knew? Who knew? And he starts the I had a dream speech.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
And the proof of that, because a lot of people didn't believe me. Because I'm one of very few people who knows this story. Nancy Pelosi knows this story. And what happened was that She apparently had heard him do this speech in one of the churches. Right. Of a Sunday. Yes. And when she saw he wasn't going to do that one, she thought, no, no, no, no. He's got to tell them about the dream. Yeah.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
He's got to. I mean, just this gives me such huge goosebumps. Me too. It makes me teary too. Teary. And there's proof that he was not going to do that speech because Because you can look it up in the archives. If you look up the speech, it does not have, I had a dream in it. No shit. No shit.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
I'll tell you what. He was a great pastor because he was also an actor. Right. But that's what made him so spectacular. Yeah, yeah. And I remember when his voice starts to tremble, I had a dream. And people say, yeah, they're going crazy. Yeah. Before he even goes on. Yeah. Everybody's yelling, yes, yes, yes. And my hair was just standing straight up. Sammy Davis was fit to be tied.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
He was just crazed with emotion. Everybody was crazy. And every damn time that man said something like that or let his voice tremble because, God, he knew when to do that.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
See, that's acting, too. Yeah. He could read the room, as it were. You're sincere about what you're saying. Yeah. But it also calls for drama. Yeah. And a sense of drama. Yes. And I realized how fortunate I was to have been asked to attend.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
It was Harry Belafonte who wanted some Hollywood people there because, I'm assuming... He wanted Martin to know that there were people in Hollywood who were sincere. And that's why he invited a group of us. Joseph Mankiewicz was there, James Garner. Now, Jimmy Garner was a friend of mine because I had done a bunch of his TV shows as a guest star.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
And Jimmy, in the airplane, was guzzling Pepto-Bismol because he had... He had an ulcer, and he was scared to death that he would never work again. James Garner. Wow. So you can imagine how I felt. Wow. I mean, I didn't have that kind of name in a million years. And I was terrified. You were terrified because— I would never work again. Yeah.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
I learned that it was the only way to function. And I think I was immensely brave for this reason. How afraid you are determines how brave you are, as far as I'm concerned. Oh. So sometimes people do things that I know are brave, but nobody else knows. And I think that person is really courageous. So how frightened you are.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
like I was, that I would never work again or that people, you know, the press would take advantage of this Puerto Rican. Let's not forget that. That takes courage. I didn't think of it that way then. I just knew that I had an obligation and a responsibility, and that's why I was there. That's why Harry invited me to be one of the people.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
Because at that point, just before then, I'd been doing a lot of political stuff. I had just started to get – I had a friend, a girlfriend, a roommate, Phyllis, who was very political. In fact, I believe she was a communist once, no longer. But she became my mentor and my teacher. She politicized me. And we met in group therapy.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
And became roommates, as a matter of fact. I was crazy about her. And she found me. She loved, dearly loved me because she knew that I had gumption. I didn't see myself that way at all. She saw it in you before you saw it in yourself. Oh, she saw it way before I ever saw it in me. I love that, what you say about bravery. I really do. It's really determined by how frightened you are.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
Don't tell me that people who do risky things aren't worried that somehow it may come back and slap it in the face. I think people know that it takes a certain amount. They may not call it that. I call it courage. Right. It is courage.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
Well, it was the first... Hispanic role that I had been offered who loved herself. She had a sense of dignity. I've never played a Hispanic character. Excuse me. Who had those qualities. This was the very first time that I played a Hispanic character who wasn't talking like this all the time. You know? Who stood proud. Who owned it proudly all of it. She owned it. And she was proud of herself.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
And she wasn't going to take any shit from anybody. And I... I was astounded that I was offered the part. I was astounded because I thought, I'm so not that. Let me tell you an interesting story. Please. Speaking of Anita. Yes. When I finally got the part because I tested and tested and tested.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
She was never, never offered. No. Wow.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
I got the part after testing a lot. They tested everybody in Hollywood with brown hair and brown eyes. So I got the part finally, and I was... Beyond thrilled. It was a great part. Yes. Just a great part. Great part, and the music is so gorgeous. Oh, please. Yes, yes. The first thing I did when I heard that I got the part
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
I ran to the music store and bought the music, the whole manuscript, so that I could be ahead of the game and I would know America and a boy like that, that kind of thing, so that I would know the songs backwards. There would be no problem with that. So I brought it home, and the first thing I did was turn the page to America. And here is what I read and sang. to that manuscript.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
Puerto Rico, you ugly island, island of tropic diseases. You know, even just saying it now in that context gives me the chills and makes my stomach royal. Because when I saw that, I didn't realize that that was the verse in the Broadway play.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
And I remember thinking, I can't do this.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
I can't do this. And then this went on for days and days and days. And I kept thinking, I'm going to have to just call my agent and say I can't do this. And then I would say, but I want the part. I want this so badly I can taste it. And then I would say to myself, no, you can't do it. You will never, ever live that down. I was probably right. And...
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
I would say, all right, I'll call my agent and it'll be hideous because he will scream at me. We worked so hard to get that fucking part. I mean, I tested and tested and all kinds of stuff. I went through hell to get it. And I thought... I was scared to death that he would talk me into doing it anyway. Did you tell anybody you had a problem with that line? No. No, no, no.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
I didn't know what to do. It didn't occur to me. So what happened? I'll tell you. The day before I had designated the day that I was going to call the agent, the next day... I got a delivery at my door of the new script of West Side Story because the changes had been made. They had to because this was meant for theater. Now this was the movie script. Yes.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
And I went through the pages until I got to America where they had the lyrics. And it said, Puerto Rico, my heart's devotion. Let it sink back in the ocean. That I could deal with. Because it's a character who says, I don't want to go back to that country. But she's not saying you ugly island, island of tropic diseases.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
I mean, I'm actually surprised that I was then that Sondheim would write a lyric like that. Anyway, that solved that problem. Wow. And I said to my, I called my agent the next day. I'll say, I have a story to tell you. And when he heard that I was thinking of, he said, you're kidding me. I said, of course not. Do you think I could really do that to my people? Wow. And he said, no, I understand.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
I said, I don't think you do, but never mind.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
And by Harry Cohen. He was the head of Columbia, and he was there at that party. And the very first thing that came out of his mouth when I was introduced to him was, I'd like to fuck you. To that day, I had never heard anyone use that word. I'd heard the word. I wasn't, you know, that innocent. But I was in shock. And you know what I did? I giggled. I didn't know what to do.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
Why don't you go fuck yourself?
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
Absolutely. I mean, no qualms. But in other words, there's no giggling now. Oh, not at all. It's just disgraceful.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
That's what's so weird. You take on that too. They're the ones who should be ashamed. But no, it's the opposite happens. Right.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
I'm glad you're asking me this.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
Many times unspoken. Yeah, right. I'll tell you something interesting. About four months after he passed away, I was at a party with people my age, mostly. And there were five women who were widowed. Wow. And I said to them, I would like to ask you a question that I hope won't offend you. But I said, I really need some backup here.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
Because I really thought, man, you're a piece of work, you know, feeling relieved like this. Because the morning after I came back home, he died in New York in the hospital. Morning after, in my bed, I said, when I woke up, Oh, my God, I can stay in bed all day if I want to. I can watch all the TV news that I want to because that used to make him crazy, which is fair. That's fair.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
And I realized that I just, it's like something amazing went over me, passed over me. And I asked these ladies at that party, back to that, I told them how I felt. And I said, did any of you by any chance feel like that? There were five of them. Four of them said yes. And they didn't hesitate to say it. Maybe because I'd brought it up the way I did, which was very simple and plain.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
And you're not saying that your love is gone? No, you're not saying anything remotely like that. What you're saying is, I started a new life. Brand new life that I couldn't give up because of my daughter. I just couldn't dream of leaving her without her father at the ready at all times. I just couldn't do it. Did you have any loneliness?
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
I had loneliness before he passed because I didn't feel able to share that with anyone. I really thought of going back into therapy because one of the best things that I've ever done for myself was therapy, by the way, psychotherapy. But it was weird to feel all this freedom. I didn't know what the hell to do with it. What did you do with it? Not much for a while. I cried a lot. Oh.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
And you know what I missed a lot? Tell me. A lot. To this day, I still miss it. Whenever he would pass me, usually it was in the kitchen, because I was always in the kitchen doing something. He would run his hand over my tush. Oh. Which is so sweet. Mm-hmm. No, nothing said. Nothing explained. I knew what that meant. He just loved my tush. He loved me very, very much.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
I think that Lenny loved me more than I loved him.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
Because people, when they marry, very often make a pact, an unspoken pact. In my case, that's exactly what we did. My pact with Lenny was, I'll be your little girl and make you very happy if you'll be my daddy and protect me. I see. Because I had a bunch of fathers. Right, I know. You know, stepfathers and stuff. And that was the unspoken pact that we made.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
And then one day, after about 10 years, I began to dislike the marriage because he became a controller. And that really drove me crazy. And also, the controlling part did something else that surprised me. I realized that in being his little girl, I was also this exotic little tropical bird. That's how he also saw me. And there was a point when I didn't want that anymore. I wanted to say,
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
And I didn't know how to get it. This is the kind of man who, when you would go to the thermostat in the house, go to turn it up because you were cold, he'd say, don't do that. And I wouldn't.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
That's how that was. So that was the pact.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
But beyond that – Okay, I'll tell you a story.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
I'm full of stories. I love it. Apocalyptic stories. No. When I moved to this wonderful apartment, I found myself, and I love it. I love it. It's beautiful. It's gorgeous. I found myself getting very sad. Okay. This was like eight months ago. Okay. I mean, really sad. And I had given up driving. Also, I don't drive anymore. Because I don't trust my reflexes anymore. Okay. And I got very lonely.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
Now, I have friends. I have friends who love and adore me. And love and adore me in a wonderful way because it's not Rita Moreno, the performer. No, it's you, the person. It's Rita, my friend Rita. Yeah. You know? So I still don't quite understand how it was that I got very, very depressed. And very lonely. Lost my appetite.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
And I sat myself down and did what I do, which my therapist urged me to do whenever something puzzled me. He would say, sit down and think about it. And come to some kind of conclusion if you can. And I thought about it. I said, I'm in an apartment I love. I have my daughter whom I worship practically. I have this beautiful place. I have this lovely little town.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
People smile at me because they recognize me and they're respectful. They don't, you know, all of that good stuff. What is wrong with you? Why are you doing this? And then I thought, I know what's wrong. What? You don't know how to make friends because people have always come to you. Oh. So what did you do? So one day I was in the supermarket.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
And there was a lady I'd seen several times there who had the loveliest face and this beautiful smile. And one day I went to the supermarket after I made this decision. And she smiled at me once again. And I stopped her and I said, You have such a lovely face. Oh. I said, I think I would like to know you better. She said, Oh, thank you. And I said, I amaze me sometimes.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
And I said, Would you like to have lunch with me tomorrow? Oh. And she said, Yeah, I'd love to. I said, great. Okay, see you at noon. So I met her for lunch, and we're looking at the menus, and she says to me, Tell me something. Do you always go picking up older ladies in supermarkets? I said, no.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
I bet that was hard. Jesus. It's still hard. Yeah, I bet. Because I used to love to tootle around in my car. Of course. You have complete independence, autonomy. And that's what you miss. You know, I found myself calling Fernanda, my daughter. Yeah. Would you have a couple of hours free tomorrow? You know, that kind of thing. Oh, I hated that. I still miss it. I still miss toodling.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
That's the thing that's been happening, which is that I don't always remember nouns. Names of people, particularly names of people. Right, right. That's why I had to ask you about that movie. See, I forgot it again. Well, now I forgot it. Okay. So far, that's the only thing. But it's a very annoying thing because you can see the object or the person.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
You see them as clear as day, but your brain will not come up with the name until five minutes later. It does come back.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
Yes, it's frustrating. Of course it's frustrating. Yeah, yeah. Because very often I have to describe the person whose name I can't think of. You know, the one who was married to Harvey Weinstein. Right. You know, that kind of thing. Right. Oh, you mean so-and-so? No, that's not the one. So, yes, it's annoying. Yeah, it's annoying.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
There is very definitely a side of me that is always kind of delighted with when something doesn't work out for me. You're kidding! Oh, I've named her Rosita. Little Rosita, which was my name as a child.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
But this is a naughty Rosita who kind of sits on a shoulder. And I've learned to deal with her this way. Rosita, when something bad happens, will very often appear, not always, but often enough, appear and say... I told you. She's still there after all these years.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
And after wonderful, wonderful psychiatric work and all that, Rosita exists. And what I've learned to do with Rosita is say, go to your room, little bitch. Sometimes she does. Sometimes she doesn't. But what happens when she doesn't? Rita. I, Rita, have to deal with it in my own way. I just have to, you know, I examine stuff. I examine stuff all the time. I break things apart like a puzzle.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
That's what I do. I'm very good at that. I'm very good at knowing why people behave in certain ways, which is part of being an actor. Sure. Human behavior. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. And I'm really good at that. And I'm able to do it with myself. It doesn't always work. But the thing is, you have to address it. Her, him, whoever. You have to address it.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
You can't just say, God, I'm feeling so miserable. I'll try to forget this. It doesn't work anyway. That doesn't work at all. Mm-hmm.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
Yeah, you're a very smart girl. Yeah. And you're not a girl either, but to me you are. I'll take it. Yes. I think that works very well. And I'll tell you something else that I've started doing. Actually, since I moved here, which is not more than 10 months maybe. There's something about me that's very joyous. Yeah, no kidding. It's just very much a part of me. I laugh a lot.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
I mean, laughing is like a hobby with me. Yeah. I love, the reason I really fell in love with my husband is because he was funny. Yeah, that's the great aphrodisiac. I'm the only woman in life, in this life, I'm sure, who thought that Mel Brooks was sexy because he was funny.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
Okay, I'll tell you why I think that's sexy. There's something about someone who has a quick wit that makes me feel protected from the outside world. Oh, interesting. And I find that very sexy because they can protect me. Ah, with their wit.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
That's still sexy for me because that's a way of protecting me by just coming up with some funny, hilarious thing that will distract that person who's handing out the poison. Oh, interesting. What's your reason?
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
Oh, boy, I certainly would. What would it be? You have value. No matter what you think, you are special and you have value. Nobody ever said that around me.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
That I originally said no to, you mean? Yeah.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
I said yes too often. Let's put it that way. That was my character. Even when I was not happy about saying it, I would say yes. Oh, that's fascinating. And I was very often, you know, that man who raped me that I talk about in the documentary. I ran into him about three years ago. And it turned out that the concert I was doing the following night was booked by him. He's still an agent.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
And I kept him as my agent. That's the bad part.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
I found out that he had booked me in this concert about three years ago in Palm Springs. And he called me on the phone. And I thought, oh my God, he's still around. And he said, my wife would love to meet you.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
And I said, I, I don't, I don't. Okay. What's her name? And, uh, he told me her name. He said, let's meet at the such and such restaurant for brunch. And, uh, You won't believe the end of the story. I sit down, I meet his wife, and we talk and all that. She has no idea. None. At one point, she decides she needs to go to the bathroom, excuses herself, and there we are, just the two of us.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
And I said to him, I have to talk to you about something. And he said, but let me say this first. And I said, okay. He said, I was always sorry I didn't make you pregnant. What? Yeah, that's what all my friends say when I tell them this story. And Rita, what? And then what? Well, okay, how do you respond to something like that? How did you respond? How did you?
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
You can say, you son of a bitch, I've never... And that didn't work for me. And I just said to him, you are a piece of work. And I got up and left. That's all I could do. I mean, what can you say?
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
There was no way to tell him off. What can you say? Right. You were awful. I'll never forgive you. I haven't forgiven you. It doesn't work. I think you said it.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
So far, so good. Oh, that's right. I love it. I mean, if it's only nouns that I'm forgetting, that's not the worst thing in the world. No, it's not. No, it's definitely not. My knees are horrible, but so what?
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
Well, you're so special, anyway. I really was looking forward to this. Oh, thanks. I had such a good time. Good. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for being here. My pleasure. Goodbye. Bye.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
Wow. I want more money. If I'm that terrific, I really need to be paid for this.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
Get the hell out. December 11th. I am today officially 93.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
Let me ask you something about being 93. How old do you feel? Oh, hell, I don't know. I don't go by numbers, so I don't know. I feel like me. And let me just put it this way. Yeah. I am a jolly, energetic, joyous... emotional. I cry at the drop of a hat. Puerto Rican is what I am. That's what I am. So I don't know what it feels like to be me. This is what I am.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
I'm smart, but I'm a lot of things that I have come to admire, I guess, is the word. I have come to like myself more than I ever used to in the old, bad old days. Yeah. See, I always thought of myself as a Puerto Rican. And that was maybe one of the greatest mistakes I ever made. So that stuff is... gone and done. I am just so fucking happy to be here.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
It started this way. I was trying to think of a great... birthday present about four years ago for her. And then I thought of something that we both absolutely adore. We're still Easterners in many ways. And even though I was born in Puerto Rico, but I was raised in New York City. And I said to her, how does this strike you?
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
We go to Boston, rent a car, and drive through all the New England states that we can and watch the leaves turn, which is my idea of pure heaven. I've always loved that. She's always loved that. And she said, really? I said, yes. Why not? Why not? That's a present. Totally.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
So I put her in charge because she's the organized one in charge of finding someone who would book us in little hotels, sometimes motels, and help us devise a map where we would get the most fun and the most eyeballing. That we could. It turned out to be such a success. We put on only Broadway musicals and sang the songs at the top of our lungs. Yes. We visited all the, oh God, I love New England.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
Isn't it divine? It really is marvelous. It's really marvelous. And the leaves are just outrageous. They're so gorgeous. Yes.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
That, and we also had lots of lobster rolls. You know, all the stuff you can't really get here in California. Yes. And we ate at fabulous places. We ate at little places. Lots of crunching through leaves that had fallen. Oh, I'm telling you, I could do this for the rest of my life. Oh, how lovely.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
I mean, despite my being an impossible person and she being an impossible daughter. What can I say? We're both a pain in the ass. In our own special ways.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
I don't work out at all. Get out of here. No way, Rita. Well, my knees are shot to pieces from all that dancing. I mean, West Side Story. No, the thing that really killed my knees was playing Norma Desmond. In Sunset Boulevard. Oh. And you know how she makes these incredible entrances down the steps? Yes. Well, in order to come down steps, you have to go up steps backstage, right?
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
And that almost killed me. That really ruined my knees. It's ruined many knees, many, many knees. So I don't do things that call for knee work, and that's almost everything. So I walk. I walk the dog, and I can't bend them very much. In fact, when and if I am asked to accept a wonderful award,
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
Which happens more now that I'm older and they're saying, quick, before she kicks the bucket, let's give her this award. Let's not be found wanting. So, I mean, they think I don't know these things. Anyway, I always have to say, am I going to go up steps to the stage to accept this award? Because if so, then I really need some help.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
Oh, it's like 40 men came over. No, this is bullshit. No, I really, my knees hurt terribly when I go up steps. So my grandson, Justin, was the first one there. And I told him, I said, if there's steps, please come help me. But you still walk.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
No, I try not to watch what I eat. Oh, my God, you're so funny. But no, I eat pretty much what I like. I am pre, what my doctor calls pre-diabetic. So I do have to be careful about sweets and stuff like that. But I've been that for... You know, years. And I'm still good. Good. So to hell with it. I'm just a lucky little bitch. Yeah, you are. You really are. I am. I am.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Gets Wise with Rita Moreno
I was just born with fantastic genes. I have really good skin for someone who's, you know, 93 today.