Ricky Velez
Appearances
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
The phrase of the day is buyer's remorse. It's like when you buy thousands of dollars worth of shoes made by your favorite rapper, thinking one day they'll be as valuable as the Princess Diana beanie baby. But then that rapper found his favorite new shape. But Yeezy isn't the only brand that's out there not living up to expectations these days.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
A lot of people are having buyer's remorse when it comes to the election.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
Come on. Who could have predicted that the guy that's known for the catchphrase, you're fired... would fire you. And it's not just Trump that's giving people buyer's remorse, because with the purchase of Trump came one free Elon. So some people are ashamed of their president and their car.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
No shit, you can't find a buyer for a gold Cybertruck. Just break this down for a second. Imagine seeing a regular Cybertruck and also turning to the salesman and being like, do you have anything that makes me look like a bigger dick? And also hides my smaller dick? And by the way, they're not just vandalizing Cybertrucks because Elon sucks.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
They're vandalizing Cybertrucks because it's a stupid car. It's the only car that gives you your virginity back. Plus, if you get mad at the product, you don't sell it. You take a semi-automatic and you light that mother up like a true patriot. But those that can't sell their Teslas, here's another option.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
Up with EVs, down with Elon.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
Us liberals love a sticker. What an inspiring way to tell the world, I disapprove of Nazis, but not enough to bike to work. But once again, I feel these people's pain. You might wonder, what kind of douchebag keeps a product after it was made by a Nazi? Well, this kind of douchebag. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. They were popular in 2017. I still have my Kanye shoes. They were made by him.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
And I definitely can't give them to my son for his bar mitzvah. So what do I do with these? Well, one guy has an answer.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
Yes, that's what we do. We burn Yeezys. The second you have buyer's remorse, it's time to clean break and no second chances. Just chicken shit. No chicken shit half measures, which is why Ricky Velez right now in this moment will put a sticker on my Yeezy. Nazis back. Nazis back. So there. No one can judge me. And am I a hero? It's not for me to say. But yes, I am. But that's just my opinion.