Mod Sun
Appearances
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I would love to. I would love to. And like, just piggybacking off that though, like what's so great is like another tip or advice or stance on life is like, Drug addicts, whether you're a recovered drug addict or currently in a battle, just know you have the greatest discipline in the world. To wake up and get fucked up every day takes discipline. Dedication.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
To go meet the plug in a random parking lot at 2 a.m., that is... Discipline.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
You can do all these things. You can get that job that you want and you can go through all.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I have drug addict discipline, you know? And like, I hold that anytime I like talk to like addicts and shit like that, I'm just always like, yo, discipline. Just know you could become president. You could take over the world with your discipline.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
It's so true. Literally, it's facts. I look at like people that are just like so down and out. I'm like, yo, just know you could take over the fucking world.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
A hundred percent. If you can also just get away from the whole like, positive speaking Google search sentences and be like, all right, let's remove all those weighted words and just like say the thing you're trying to say. Like Charles Bukowski is my favorite writer of all time. He would always be like, you have no guts if you're turning a sentence into a paragraph. Like stop with all that.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
The wind blew through the windowsill at night while I was, the twilight was glowing through the sheets of my room. It's like, bro, you found happiness looking out the window while the moon was out.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I'm not saying talking a lot. I'm saying you say it how it is. That's essentially what it is. It's like being like, stop trying to fill this whole thing with all these isms and all these blown out ideas. It's like you say it how it is. Trust me. I am a viewer. I am like objectively. Is it objectively from the outside or subjectively? I don't know. Here I am again.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I am from the outside looking in. I watch you and I do have a good opinion of that. Like you say it how it is.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
It's like and I and I totally just like I love it so much. I've never I've never been the one to be like. uh, does living in, does, does that I'm in, in LA? Should I tell people like I'm LA or this and that? It's like, I'm Minnesota, like Midwest, Minnesota. I grew up on a farm, a farm, no animals. My parents were absolute. Why? They were the animals.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
yeah like what your mom's a cheerleader in high school yes yes he literally married the bad boy oh 100 100 for good and bad i got all i got a lot of my dad's good qualities and like all of my mom's good qualities so i kind of won with that um no my mom was like cheerleader straight a student my dad was like kicked out of catholic school and had to go to this other school and like pulled up beat up my mom's boyfriend at the time and like threw threw her on the back of his bike
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And he was, I'm telling you, I know. And when I say like threw her on the back of my bike, like take it however you want it. Like that is my dad is like, he was, he was the real deal. He was one of one. There's this quote from fear and loathing in Las Vegas. That's too weird to live too rare to die. That was my dad.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
He couldn't get his shit together, but he was so rare that we had to have him here. So we grew up on a giant, what would you say, like five acres? Sorry, I'm talking off camera to my sister.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
It's like five acres in the middle of Minnesota. I go back to this town, it still hasn't changed a bit. It's so small. And I actually had this great conversation with someone last night. that also like grew up in the middle of nowhere, but it's like from age zero to six, No neighbors, no friends, only my sister, who, older sister, it takes a long time for your older sister to... Like you.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And we'll get to this too, but my sister was the, like my mom, the cheerleader, straight-A student.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I love that. So we were total opposites in so many ways. But zero to six, grew up on a farm, no friends, total just imagination.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I mean, my mom was the definition, like, of an angel. Like, just trying to... Caring about... Kind of zooming out and looking forward and being like... my kids shouldn't see or hear or know about things that are going on, you know? But my dad literally would have his girlfriends calling the house, being like, and my sister would answer the phone and be like, he, like my sister's like nine, like,
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
bitch you know what I'm saying like like that was the first time I heard curse words was my sister like I love that sister was rowdy enough at nine though to stick up for mom hell yeah oh hell yeah and like I mean also my sister was like the bartender my sister was like making them gin and tonics and old fashions at nine years old my goodness yeah yeah
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I was literally, my favorite picture of when I was a kid was me like drinking a Pabst at like fucking four years old.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Like band slip-ons. My dad's like posted, I'm like drinking a Pabst, like literally.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
a hundred percent that's how I grew up too and we grew up uh like 10 minutes from Bob Dylan's farm in Minnesota who's my favorite artist of all time Minnesota white yeah um and so it was all rock and roll it was all like you listen to the Allman Brothers you're either a Dylan guy or a Beatles guy we are Dylan people like and and the band and there's music all the time I love
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And motorcycles, like my mom and dad rode motorcycles. Like my first scar that I still have on my leg is falling off my dad's bike when I was four years old and burning my leg on a thousand degree exhaust pipe. Oh my goodness, yeah. It was wild. It was wild. For Minnesota, like I know when people have this picture of Minnesota in their head, they're not thinking like this.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
This is what it was like growing up there for me, you know? But what stuck with me the most through those years I don't even know if you call one through six formative years, but they were so much for me. Okay.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Great. Thank you. Because I, it, it made me who I am. I am permanently in my own world, in my own imagination because I had all this space. I had no friends and no neighbors and no nothing. So I was in my head all day running around this field pretending I was whatever, superhero or a spy or any of those things. And I've never left that world, ever once.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
It's horrible. Everyone, raise your threshold for compliments to not immediately throw someone back at other people.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Just say thank you. I tell this to all people. I'm like, raise your threshold. I gave you a compliment. Don't just give me one back. Just be like, damn, thanks.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
jelly roll fan and bob like i can so see it oh he just went and saw him at um where were we in austin what's it called the the whole big fucking festival they have out there the austin city women's or something like that yeah he went and saw bob dylan i was like did you record it and he was like no it's like yo yeah again it's like the great i tell every artist there's so many artists that are so lost right now especially the younger ones that i
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
have had a different upbringing and a different kind of world of being an artist. I grew up as an artist pre-internet, pre-having a studio in your house.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Pre-laptop and Pro Tools. This was like the growing up with instruments set up in your garage and every day after school you came and jammed with your friends. And if your friend didn't show up, you couldn't jam. You know what I'm saying? I grew up in that world. I grew up in the back of vans, playing shows for free, sleeping on people's floors, all that.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
the world that it's in now is shifted in a lot of different ways. And a lot of artists get really lost because they'll have these giant peaks and valleys. My whole thing was like just a giant, like slow lift, right?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And there's so many for young artists, peaks and valleys, peaks and valleys. And it gets hard and I'm like, yo, study. I don't care if you hate Bob Dylan's voice. I don't give a fuck. Just study his career. Like this is a man. that was slated as the voice of a generation, him and an acoustic guitar and a harmonica.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
The second that he was at his peak of this voice of a generation, he grabbed an electric guitar, showed up to Newport Jazz Festival, the first electric performance ever at Newport Jazz Festival, got booed off stage. for a year after that played like a Rolling Stone to his concerts and got booed by his biggest fans and never stopped playing the song.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And it is now regarded as like the top greatest song ever. And like that is like believing in what you're doing and not putting the control in the hands of the audience of telling you that it's great or telling that it's successful. And then as soon as they loved him being electric, He went and made a country album. They hated it. Soon as they loved that, he went and made a blues record.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
They hate it. Soon as they love that, gospel record. Soon as they love that, jet. It's like, dude just was like, never are you in control of my success and who I am and I follow my instincts and follow my guts. Also a guy who disappeared for 10 years and came back and dropped what I think is his greatest record of all time, Blood on the Tracks.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Like it's just the greatest mentality for an artist to be in. To not think that like.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Oh, they're going to forget me. Oh, they're going to forget about me. If I don't post today, they're going to forget about me. If I don't drop a song right now, they're going to forget about me. It's like, man, just like create art as if you're already dead and gone. And it'll be the best art of your life.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I've been chasing art, and I'm talking like the facets of art, like painters. I've been studying painters. I study the lives of people, you know? I've been studying painters since I was a very young kid, and when I heard the quote at like 13 years old that was like, A great artist reinvents themselves every 10 years, right? And that's their periods. As a painter, you have periods.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
You have the blue period or the abstract period. And all these people lived by that. And I put that into my life as a musician. It was the first 10 years of my career as a musician. I was a drummer, you know? And then my bands were doing good. My dreams were coming true.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And I felt something that I had to do and completely abandoned all comfort and went back to ground zero and was like, I am Mod Sun now. I am going movement on dreams, stand on it or not. I'm starting this new thing. And I did 10 years as a rapper calling what I did hippie hop and making positive rap music that like this was before Kendrick Lamar did. Like, I love myself.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Like, yeah, we had De La Soul and we had like more like positive kind of hip hop. But like in that term, it was like I want to make hip hop based around the secret and the law of attraction.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Which was like. It was goofy. It was an idea that people were like, nope, nope, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And I was like, I'm pushing through this. I did 10 years of that. Then I did a 10-year stint of being back into my more alt and really high-register belting. And then I'm in this 10-year phase right now that's so...
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
so raw and it's finally out like i was about to take three years off of music i went back to minnesota in august of this last year and i was like i'm just gonna paint and write scripts in direct for the next like four years because i don't really think i have the desire to try to outdo myself right this is when i was very like lost this was like part of the being lost period that i just had
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I like I came back home from Minnesota and like the first song I wrote, like the end of the song is like you're searching for a high, but you can't fly till you fall. And it's funny how you find yourself once you lose it all. Home is waiting when there's nowhere left to go. You'll find love there. I hope you know. And it's like the last little part of the song.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And it's like it wraps up that whole feeling of being like. Searching for all these things. I've fallen. That was how you fly. Isn't it funny? You can't fly till you fall.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
She would know better because I was young. Like she has more memories than I do. We talk about this all the time where she was like, yeah, I was like nine. So there's a big difference between six and nine, you know, where it's like there's more memories.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
But basically what happened is they got divorced, and my mom was working for, my dad had a, he owned a warehouse, and it was a warehouse that would hold things that truckers needed to come in town and pick up.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Yeah, I think it was a lot paint-based, like paint for industrial stuff. and uh the loosest kind of career ever like I'm talking like it was party at the warehouse you know what I'm saying but it would just be truckers pulling up to this warehouse picking up stuff and my dad was a trucker before his whole life which is why I love the road so much like um he was a trucker in his early life and um
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
So they pulled up to her house. Anyway, my mom was working at that place with my dad. When they got divorced, my dad fired my mom. Okay.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Yeah. Yeah. He fired my mom. And so my mom had no career, no money, nothing. And my mom was like, yo, I, you can't have like, you can't like, she fought for full custody. Right. Cause she was like, I know. No. Um, And so my mom got full custody. And due to that, got the house that we were living in. The house wasn't paid for. My mom had no money. House got foreclosed on. Okay?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
So this big, giant farm life that I was loving and was just like, shit, I think we're like, I think this is cool. Like, we're good to go. Went to immediately like living in like, a two-bedroom apartment in... We moved to the suburbs. She moved us to the suburbs. She's like, I'm going to bring you out of this farm, put you in the suburbs. We need to get you adjusted, all this.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
My mom went to being basically an intern at a job to top of the chain in...
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
40 years or what? Or I don't know how long it was that she worked at that job, but she retired like 10 years ago now. She's been retired, but she went from literally working for free to like top of the list. Right. And yeah.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And through those times and like the first thing my mom did. So this is this is part of my other formative. Everything is like my mom was like, all right, dude, like you. You don't know how to be social. I'm seven years old now. You don't know how to be social.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Yeah, I was in school. But this school that I was in when I was on the farm was like five kids.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
A hundred percent. Okay. So now I'm like seven or whatever, seven or eight. And my mom's like... I'm going to put you in sports. If you hate sports, you can quit, right? You can totally quit. But I'm going to put you in sports because I feel like it'll give you like this social acceptance of being like a team and like kind of forced to make those friends, right?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Oh, it was that kind of dad. So he stayed in Minnesota for, I want to say, like four years after they had gotten divorced. And then he moved to Long Beach, California. But in those four years, it was the, hey, I'm coming by to pick you up this weekend and never show up. It was that. It was me waiting on the front step with a bag. And never showing up.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And when he did show up, my dad always just wanted to be like, I'm so fly, I'm so it. He would go and get a big house in the really poor neighborhoods and try to show off and be all fly and this and that. He was the best hustler in the world. He could sell headphones to a deaf guy. I swear to God, he was the greatest.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
hustler ever so i for a lot of his life i have no idea what he did but he could always have like a hundred dollar bill in his pocket and that was probably it yeah because he did die with nothing you know um sorry i just wanted to ask because you said that you needed a father that she wanted you to have yeah no so i i had no father for sure yeah so she put me in sports and like greatest thing any any tip to people out there that have children
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
My mom, I put on ice skates, got on the ice, got off. My mom looked at me and said, you're a fucking natural. And like from that point on, my mom told me that about everything. And she might have been lying through her teeth. But that inserted something in me that to this day, I believe I am a natural at anything I do.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I have so much confidence in myself that, like, I'm meant to do this, you know? And it's like delusion. And delusion is a big part of success, you know?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
So like, check this out. So like my first, I would say from like eight to 13, I was totally, totally, uh,
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
100% thinking that I was a professional athlete right I love that I was 100% like I'm a professional athlete okay I played goalie in hockey I played lacrosse I was nasty at lacrosse those are hard sports goalie in hockey I was nasty at goalie I played catcher in baseball my mom's like yo why not like choose the thing that's not all eyes on you if something goes wrong like she's like sitting in the stands like dude you're the goalie in the back that if the goal goes in you come home and you're like I want to
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
fucking kill myself but she was just like all right you got this you know like i was a loner right i was a loner i was an imagination person so i chose those look you know when i zoom out and look back on it i chose those positions because i was like sitting back in the net like by myself surrounded by no one just being like talking to myself like yeah god
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
because maybe in a way you always felt like it was like you against the world 100% 100% it was always like I always was like I cannot rely on anyone else to make me get there I was always a lot later into my life one of my like basically like mentors in my life told me this thing that changed my life which was like your life will be so much better if you can just be 100%
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
responsible 100 of the time when things go wrong there is it's a form of empathy to just realize that you're responsible somehow yeah for it going wrong and if you can stop being like oh poor me poor me like and just be like all right cool lesson learned like yeah you'll you'll be so much greater so like yeah i always had this like 100 responsible 100 of the time i'm gonna make it happen
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Um, so I was playing sports and then the wildest thing happened when I was 13, you know, I'm flipping through ESPN and watching these sports games, right? Professional athletes. And then my sister is obsessed with Hanson.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
No, full on Hanson, full on Hanson. Okay. and we're fighting for the remote, and I'm flipping to hockey, and she's flipping to Hanson, and it just dawns on me, I go, I'm watching full-on adults with their career. There is no child on the ice in the NHL. And she's watching children play to an arena of people at a professional level. These kids are like between 10 and 13.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I think I can relate more to the youngins on the instruments than I can to the grownups on the ice. I was like, mom, get me a drum set for Christmas. Get me a drum set for Christmas. That was it.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Yeah. One of my other first career goals was to be a comic book guy that drew comic books.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
So always into that side of art. So I connected to that side of art. But as soon as I saw this young and with hair down to here, being like 10 years old, playing drums to an arena of people. And I realized in that moment, I said, I can't see what the hell the guitar player is doing from the TV screen. I can't see. I can't tell. This is too confusing for my mind to understand.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
This piano player, no idea. Can't even see it from the TV. I can just see he's moving his hands. But drums. He's got sticks in his hand and he's got four drums in front of him. I can see every move he's making.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I was like, I can learn from a distance. You know, I can learn that from a distance. From that, it led me to finding Travis Barker.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
But you see what I'm saying with drums. It's like the only one that you can look and be like.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
You're going like this. You're going like this. You're going like this. No matter how fast you're doing, I can still tell what you're doing.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
So I had the drum set and I was still in sports at this moment. Right. Had the drum set, would look at it and be like this. And like I took lessons for a second. My mom put me in lessons. I had one lesson. It was from a dude who came over fully drunk and tried to pick up my mom on a date.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
dude I don't think we can make this happen like I don't think I can just have like random men coming to this house to like teach you how to play drums you know I love your mom she's the one day you gotta meet her because she is so cool like I just got this awesome new new house in Tarzana that's like my
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
it's my happy place and like I have she has her own room there full on and I'm just like I'm like mom when I get this house like I'm gonna get this house and you have to spend six months of the year at least out here period end of story you are a mama's boy true and true but in a good way oh it's I love it I love it I have great I have great I was raised by my mom and my sister right completely like I have great female energy to like make females feel safe and comfortable and open around me and it's my like
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I'm not texting, I swear. They kind of, like, went to the wayside because I got a little discouraged, you know, by, like, the lessons and, like, it just... There was only so many little videotapes that she took a Hanson that I could watch.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And then all of a sudden... it must have been 1999 2000 like 2000 all of a sudden i see blink 182 see travis parker i see the coolest looking person i've ever seen in my life and i'm like watching him play drums and i'm like oh bet i was like i got a drum set in my basement i was like it's it's done this is the person i connect with and
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
That was at the time just when like Napster and Kazaa and these other little things that you could download videos. This is 56K, dial up internet. I just proceeded to download every single thing. I would have to stay up all night because the phone line would get used.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
and download these things and I'd wake up right away in the morning as it was downloading all the and I'd go and I'd fucking make sure that did it come through okay and but while you could do this this is this was actually the greatest thing while you were downloading something um at these times it took you like three days to download a music video you know real talk and but you could preview you could preview it while it was downloading so if it had 15 you could watch 15 of it
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
So I would sit this far from the computer screen and watch that 5%, watch that 10%, watch that 15% and sit there and just watch it. I can see everything you're doing, everything you're doing.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And proceed to do that. I mean, the whole time my mom is going, get off the internet and go be a normal kid. I can't use the phone. Like, what are you doing down there? And I'm like... guess this internet thing wasn't a fad, mom. I guess so, I guess I was kinda onto something, huh? And I just proceeded to watch every single thing and was always the kid that was like,
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Yep. I love that about you. And I started it, had to like, and still again, like it was really hard because when I turned, 16, right? Or just, so right as you're going into high school, so right as you're going into freshman year, that was when hockey, because I was like slated to be like a pro goalie. Like I was a good, Minnesota is a hockey town.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And pros come from Minnesota. And my city that I was in, Bloomington, Minnesota, we had the, the scouts would come to our school to pick pros, right? I was slated to be a professional goalie, okay? And I was working with goalie coaches and like, you're gonna be a pro, like we got this, right? And I had to make like the hardest decision ever at that time. which was going into high school.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
This is right when it right when it turned into like, OK, sports is a job now because you're going to go to school all day. Fucking hated school. Barely made it through. And then you're going to practice immediately from school. Like your life is just you're you're in a nine to five.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
You know, literally. And I had to make the choice and be like, no, I'm going to be I'm going to be a drummer. I'm going to be a drummer. And I had to quit. And everyone, like I had grown men, goalie coaches coming to take me out to lunch to try to convince me otherwise. Don't do it. Don't do it. Trust me.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
You're not going to be a musician. Do you know how many times at this time I got told one in a million? And I was like, you're looking at the one.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
you're looking at the one, my boy. Sorry to say, I'm gonna be the one. And I believed that, and I quit every sport, picked up a skateboard, started getting really good at skateboarding, and my life just became skateboarding and drums.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
and wearing dickies down in here and vans and famous stars straps t-shirts and i had to change my whole appearance like overnight like it all changed like i don't care this whole poser ism and this whole like oh all of a sudden you're dressing the part like this oh you like punk music so now all of a sudden you got like liberty spikes and you're wearing the sid vicious chain like yeah cool change your appearance are people not allowed to grow
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
But then again, that's the world shutting the door on them. It's like that word poser. It's like, yeah, for sure. The first day I showed up to the skate park, not knowing how to skate and was like wearing the lame shit like I was posing to be like y'all because I wanted to be like y'all. But, like, don't ever for a second doubt that a year later I was one of y'all.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Is everyone not a poser the first day they do something? You don't think Van Gogh picked up a paintbrush and felt like a poser the first time he painted? Tried to paint, yeah. Looking, like, at other paintings? Yeah. Like, everyone's a poser the first time they try to do something they want to do.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
It's so real. And it's, like, people just be so afraid of, you know, whatever. It's so easy to do that. It's human condition. Like, you want people to like you, you know? Yeah.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
But I really saw the DM like three weeks ago and immediately was like, all right, I missed this one. If you ever want to do it again, I would love to.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
just be so headstrong at such a young age is admirable tell me about this first band and where this took you first band I mean the first band was like was like you know a couple of friends like this really was when I was 13, 14, and it was just like, you're learning how to play guitar. Like you're the only one in this city. Cause I was in the suburbs surrounded by jocks and cheerleaders for real.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Like, right. That was what it was. It was sports and cheerleading and that's it. So I'm in those suburbs and I found like one kid that could play, that was learning how to play guitar, I was like, we're in a band, you know what I'm saying? And it was really just me and a guitar player, you know what I'm saying?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
There was no like, and then we found our like, kind of like other like delinquent homie that we're like, just pick up a bass, like everyone's has like.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Everyone's like, you know, like anyone can play bass, like, you know, no disrespect to y'all bass players, like. But everyone, God, that's kind of a thing in music. We're like, you know. Sid Vicious was put in the Sex Pistols because he looked so cool.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Yeah, 100%. I mean, you got four strings and you're usually only playing two of them. And you only have to do one at a time.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
yeah yeah it's awesome you gotta have groove you gotta have like falling in the pocket but for sure yeah um so that band was more just like we're learning our favorite songs you know what was the name uh almost there ah i love that almost there what that's the next band i was in though we were 16 we're called the sideline heroes i love that That name still to this day is so cool. Sideline Heroes.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
um and uh and we were rad we were super rad like we we were all like the bad kids in high school we were all the like you know failing students in high school and the like anti everything you know this was like oh the this was the this was the uh revolution starter of guys wearing girls jeans you know i'm saying and getting hated on yeah so you guys were wearing skinny jeans back then
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Oh, not skinny jeans, girls jeans, because they didn't even make guys skinny jeans.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
A hundred percent. And I dyed half my hair blonde, half my hair black. And I came to school with, I kid you not, a briefcase, not a backpack. Okay. I walked through the hallways of high school with a briefcase and a scarf on in 70 degree weather.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
So I always had, like, girls. Yeah, I always did. And I've been very fortunate with, like, the females that I've attracted in my life.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And also not, Hey, let me talk to you though. In a way that I don't talk around my friends.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Not that I'm like, I'm like, so the exact person in front of. Women and you know what I'm saying?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I mean, your conversations are just like natural conversations. Do you have mostly female guests? Is it?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
So I had a, I did have a really cute girlfriend in high school for sure. Yeah.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
uh jenny jenny scoop what's up what's up and i still my sister is still friends with her and talks to her checks in but like that was like yeah that was for sure the first love of my life for sure we dated like all i want to say like all through high school but she was like the really pretty sweet girl that would like come to like because we were playing like punk rock shows there was a venue in minnesota called the garage it was like a youth center and we would play there every weekend and like
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
That, that led me to being in, you know, the first band that really like made it, made it type of scenario. Like the first band I toured with, the first band that like ever spoke to a label and any of that. And we were called The Semester.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And I got to be in that band because the two really good artists, musicians that were like musician kids that were like grew up in church playing instruments and giving guitar lessons to like grown men when they were like fucking 14, you know? Really good musicians. And I was self-taught, right? They were really good. And I had to like try out to be in their band.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
You know, it was like I'm like 16, 17, like trying out to be in a band like this is wild. They were amazing and they were from a different city. But the band I was in that was all from my same city would go and we'd play at this youth center. And it was a whole scene. It was all the like outcast kids from surrounding areas were there.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And they were starting a new band, and my band was, like, breaking up. And I was like, all right, I want to play with these guys. And I ended up being in a band with these guys after three tryouts, you know. I ended up playing with them. And they would later break my heart, and I would later bring them back into my life.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
It's so funny because I've kind of never put that together in a string of sentences.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
What happened? So then I guess sophomore year, now I was in this really good band where we were playing every day, writing our own songs, recording and doing all this. And I was the mouthpiece. I was always the best mouthpiece. I wasn't the best musician in the band. Because I was self-taught, you know? I didn't even understand what timing was, right? I was just like, play fast, man.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And I was the mouthpiece, though. I would get us into the biggest venue in town. I was like... Dude, I was the best at forming an email. I could like hit the sentences that the grownup would be like, I believe in this kid, right? So I'll get us into the big venues.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I would get us on, you know, like I would get us on to go do like a little four show little mini tour by talking to other bands from other places. And I was getting the eyes on us, you know? And the whole goal was like, I'm going to be in this band for the rest of my life. Like we got out of high school literally the day after I graduated and I barely graduated.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
The day after I graduated, we got in a tour event and went on a three month tour around the country.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
playing shows for 20 fucking dollars, sleeping on people's floor. The whole point of playing a show is to get on stage and go, hey, we got nowhere to stay tonight. If anyone here wants to let us stay at their house, like that whole era of bands is done. It's long gone.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
You're like the superpower female that says be confident in yourself no matter what.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I remember just being like, what was your first show? Like that you played like first show ever as a drummer.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
this you at this youth center okay so you were 13 when that happened or like yeah that would be like the first show that wasn't like in our living room to like five people or like my mom and then we can circle back to my first show as my son because then you'll see how this whole thing like builds up and then boom and then builds up and then boom like those kind of things and it's been it's been wild with that but um
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
uh so anyways back to how they broke my heart yeah sorry we we went on this tour okay i was like in contact with labels i was like this is it this is my whole life we got back from that tour they called me on uh three three the other three of them on the phone go you're kicked out of our band you're not good enough peace these were my like best friends these are everything they literally looked at me they literally called me and said peace you're not good enough to be in our band
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Pulled the rug out. They just said I wasn't good enough for them. That I wasn't good enough of a drummer.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And, like, just pulled the rug out. And, like, I... This is the most beautiful time of my life because it was so hard. And it created exactly where I am today. I... Went, I was living with my mom still, you know what I'm saying? Super broke. Like, being in a band, you're broke, right?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Completely broke. And this is my first now year out of high school, and my mom's like, shit, dude, you were betting everything on this. Mm-hmm. And like you literally were like, fuck any other plans in high school or what I'm supposed to be thinking about. Like, this is all I'm doing. And they just pulled the rug.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
It's such a good message to send, though. Not being like, I'm going to talk shit back to you, but just being like, yo, this whole thinking that you can't have your word against someone that's talking shit because you're a notable person. And, oh, if I say the wrong thing, this and that. Like, that's like a whole wall that needs to be broken down right now.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I mean, my mom's such like a she's like, I'm going to go knock on their door and talk to their parents. You know, my mom's like, nah, like she'll fight for me. Right. Same with my sister. And but I just like this was my first time ever feeling like depression. It was my first time. I locked myself in my mom's garage. I was a stoner.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Also, I got kicked out of the band because I was a stoner and also had found drugs and stuff like that. Maybe a caveat that I forgot to introduce. Let's not skip over that, buddy. These guys were also super straight-laced. I grew up with a dad telling me to party at age five. You guys were in church growing up. We live a different life.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
A hundred percent. I mean, I'll never forget the first time. Like, again, I told them, I was like, yo, I tried cocaine and they were like, How dare you?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
They were like, oh, your life is over. You know, like that type of shit. And I was like, yeah, dude, I was on mushrooms the other night. That shit was crazy. You know, they're like, they're like, cool. They're like, bro, this dude is losing it. You know? So again, I do take responsibility. But the way they went about it being like, you're not good enough. You're out. Right.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
That was like heartbreaking. And then to just be like, forget our number. We're never talking to you again. Um, so then anyways, locked myself in my mom's garage, smoked weed all day and finally connected to Bob Dylan because when I was young, it was just listen to Bob Dylan, listen to Bob Dylan. When your parents are telling you to listen to something, you're like, no dog, like you're my parents.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Like, right. But I was always like, there's something there. And I like forced myself to like really get into it. And I just smoked weed and listen to Bob Dylan all day. And I was like, that's it. I love this because. When I was in bands, I would sing along to songs and then I'd turn them off and I'd be like to my homies who were really good and be like, hey, what key am I singing in?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
You're not even in a key, dog. You can't sing. Don't ever sing. You know? Telling me, you can't sing. You're not a singer. And I would hear, I hate Bob Dylan's voice. He can't sing. And I'm like, boom. There's our through line. They say this dude can't sing. They say I can't sing. He fucking did something with it. I'm doing something with it.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I was like, I'm starting my own thing. And if I can't sing yet, I'll tell you what I can do. Like, I'm going to get there, but I'll tell you what I can do. You play drums and I got rhythm and I can understand pattern. I'm going to rap.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I love that nobody can tell you no. A hi-hat's like a rap. And I was like, cool. I'm going to put that together.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
So many people, like, I... I'm in a good place right now. I feel like I have my light back around me, right?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Thank you. Thank you. I am happy. I feel this is the most secure I've felt in my skin as well in years and years and years. But there was a time where it wasn't like that. But then there was also this time where, like, I don't know when it happened, but for some reason I got in my head, like, oh, like... do I have to worry about saying the wrong thing or being a certain person or all that stuff?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
It's my gift and my curse because it goes to authority, too, and can ruin great relationships that I'm in because I cannot be told what to do.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
100%. I run so far from authority. And that's like anyone just being like, try living your life the way I live it, too, and me being like, how dare you tell me to change my lifestyle?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
How dare you to tell me that I shouldn't be staying up till 6 a.m. every night and sleeping till 2 p.m. How dare you tell me that I should try to like move with the sun. How dare you try to tell me that I should live like this or you know what I'm saying? Yeah. And that's like my biggest thing that I'm working on right now.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
is like understanding that like there's a difference between authority of like me being a kid and being like chased by the cops for skateboarding on a six stair there's a difference between like that authority and be like fuck you yeah and a difference between someone being like hey you want to like live how i live too
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
yeah you want to like meet in the middle dog like you want to do that and not just be like i'm your plus one like to your life yeah like a hundred percent i'm really focused on like understanding that but it's a trigger are you in therapy I have done great, great therapy sessions. And then I, like, kind of stray away.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Like, here's the starting point. Like, my therapist gave me the greatest piece ever, which was, like, this is why you do that. Because, like, I've seemed to... uh end up in relationships with famous girls right it's been like a pattern and why you know people be like even my friends be like man you're a star bro
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I think you just like strong women who are driven boom boom I was in my head being like what is wrong with me why am I like this why am I like so attracted to like a celebrity woman and whatever and it's like my therapist was like okay so you watch your mom get completely everything taken away from her for your father and think that she was feel worthless and powerless and
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
You've seen, you know, her be abused in multiple ways. You want to be with a strong woman and the industry you're in, the strong women you're surrounded by are the ones with fame. If you were working in an office, you'd want to fuck the CEO.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And I was just like, boom, I feel so much better about myself. Cause I was like, damn, I'm a star fucker. Like, what is that? I'm like, well, I am from Minnesota, small town. I used to see magazine covers and be like one day.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And that's why when you have this message of like, I will say my opinion back to you regardless of who I am or how many people follow me. That's like, these are messages for the youth that they need to understand that, you know?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
True. You know, truly, truly. And I am like, where's the normal girl in my life that works at Starbucks?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Dude, that was a really, that was, like, a really fun one and then, like, ended, like, really traumatically and stuff. And, like, that was just, like, you know, this was when I was a drug addict and alcoholic. And this was, like, met her through friends, was, like, look at this, like, wild child girl. I was also, like, in, like, this, like, I'm, like, very hippie-ism.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Like, the way I live life is very hippie, you know what I'm saying? And she was on that, you know? I was like, this girl with hairy armpits that's so beautiful. I was like, why is that so attractive to me?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
It was. It really was. I was like, you're so naturally don't give a fuck and whatever. So just so many amazing times with her. And I do have this, not only with authority, I don't want to be the plus one. So it is hard to, like, match the energy of, like, oh, you're, like, more popping than me, you know?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And, like, so a lot of it was that. But, like, I was super supportive and I loved watching her shine. And she was very, like, very lived her life in, like, a grown way and took care of things and all that. But it ended poorly. You know what I'm saying? We're, like, in this, like, maybe we're in, like, a, like, polyamorous, like, throuple relationship with this other person.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I'm so jealous. Yeah, I have a jealousy thing. Again, like, I know my things to work on.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And I dive off the cliff, too. I dive off the cliff into it. So anyways, this was definitely one of my first really, really... You know, I'd love to beat the two and a half year mark, but these things with me seem to last like two and a half years, you know, and it was two and a half years of my life.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
so real so real sorry i'm not i'm not trying to over here be a therapist or anything like i i'm actually like tuned into these conversations more than ever because i'm like do i like just die alone like for real like is that my journey and like like look like like obviously it sounds whatever but it's also like so romanticized to me because i'm like
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
tortured locked up artists in the middle of the woods painting and smoking cigarettes and writing would you choose the bear or the man the bear because you said you were in the middle of the woods and that would be the same if i was a female too i'd be like the bear what yeah a hundred percent so i just wanted to make you laugh you're not gonna die alone you're not you know what
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I know when I say that it sounds like one of those things, but I am like, I'm such a lover boy in those things where I'm just like, who, like, I, yeah, yeah. I know it sounds like, like sad, but to me it's so romanticized and so just like, you know what? Like I've, I've had it. I felt it. And like, we'll, we'll see what happens. But I'm, I am in love with other things, you know?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
You know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, but I do think watching porn fucks you up.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Um, we, we, uh, we met through music, you know, we met through music and it was like, it was a great time. Like I worked on an album that she was doing and we had a song of mine together. And, um, it's called, what is it called?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
our song is called flames flames yeah you guys gotta listen to the song it's a great song yeah it's a great song and like we met through like a really awesome way which was making music you know and it was lovely and she was like true talent being around like really true talent especially was as like i write songs um for other artists as well you know and produce for other artists as well and she it was like amazing like coming up with an idea and seeing someone like so
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
fucking talented sing it and it was like it was it was incredible and also i've known who she was since i was a very young kid in fucking minnesota i heard you had her posters on a hundred percent manifested see start whacking off mod yeah all right start manifesting and whack it off yeah right i know that's your homework okay And she was. Yeah. Yeah.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
So it was like just a really it was a really it was a really beautiful time when we met. And it was also in the pandemic. So like we you know, like I said, I dive in fast as fuck. I just like completely dive into something. And I think she was that way as well. And we just like ended up. immediately being with each other and living together.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I mean, my favorite times of being myself is when those thoughts never entered my head. The second they did, I felt like I was so fake. I felt so fake and not me.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Yeah. And, um, and yeah, it was like a really incredible time. She was like a very, she's, she's like a grown woman, you know? And that was a wonderful change for my relationship types to be with, you know?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Well, yeah. And, and again, like I want to give anyone that I was in a relationship, like, the compliments, you know what I'm saying? When we spoke about Bella a second ago, it was like I was directing a video for a band called Palette Royale yesterday, and they're friends with her, and the whole concept of the video, Even if this doesn't make it in, I'd love to tell you this.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
They don't even know that I'm making this video for them. Their mother passed away last week. They're three brothers in a band. Their mother just passed away. They have this giant song that's so good that was already slated to come out. Their label's like, can we shoot a video, please? It's a sensitive time. We won't be on camera.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Their management came to me and was like, can you put something together? The whole thing is friends and fans and
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
other people from big bands coming together to create this like moment of a special video for them not like a sad video at all not like a dedication to their mom nothing like that because the song's very upbeat fellowship yeah it's like showing them like we got your back and like also like when you do a guerrilla video like that where you're just kind of like all coming together and on the spot yeah it's like usually just thrown together like i shot them like an expensive crazy art video
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Um, anyways, jump me back. Uh, they, their management knows that they're like good friends with Bella and they were like, yo, would you be comfortable if we invited her? And I was like, literally was like, I would love to say hi to her and, and, and give her a hug and send her my love. You know what I'm saying? I was like, I would love that. You know, a year after we broke up, I was like, Oh,
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
if I ever see you in public like I'm gonna just give you the dirtiest look but it's like I have nothing but you know love for that so like drumming back like yeah it was being with a grown woman it was awesome it was we're two different people but um
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Well, yeah, I mean... To a certain extent? Yeah, yeah, 100%. Or even just thoughts of being like... Don't put yourself, so like I've gone through things where I have put myself in the position to kind of speak my half of things, you know, especially with past relationships, right? That bleed into the public eye. I have had a relationship where I was like, no, this, and saying my word back.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
it was great i think i think i had a great influence on her i think she could have had a really more wonderful influence on me just from the side of like grown up and and being a grown-up kind of you know because i'm learning later in life of how beautiful it is like i'm like i said i'm very secure of who i am right now and i've been a little lost in the last like three years as far as like where do i fit in or who am i and um you know there was there's great things that i could have like taken out of it but
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Yeah. Yeah, certainly. Certainly. And and and like on top of that, too, it's just like, uh, I had to, like, really regain this big, big empathetic heart that I've been missing for a long time. And, like, it's really come around lately, this, like, leading with empathy. You know, I pray every single day, right?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And, like, in my prayers, I'm just, like, allow me to lead with empathy and, like, be a shining light. And my form of empathy is just finally attached to, like, being, like, Dude, you got to get outside of yourself. And when someone does you wrong, stop thinking, fuck them. You did me dirty. I'm out for revenge and this and that. It start being like, just be in their position, like step outside.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And and things have like formed in my life lately where I was just like, oh, my God. I don't, I can't have any of those feelings for anyone. I couldn't force myself to anymore. You know, if we had done this, like talk like three months ago, I might've been like, man, fuck that person. I want, I want, ow, she hears this. You know what I'm saying? I'm just like, yo, run into you. All the love.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
In some way, it trickles down to that. It's like, you know, I didn't give you what you deserve. communicated it a lot of times too, what you needed, you know? And like that, that was another great thing I learned from the relationship was communication. Cause like, I'm like a run from the problem person. I'd like literally like leave the house. Like, I don't want to fight. I'm out of here.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
When you calm down, I'll be back. That's so corny. That's so the wrong way to go about things. And so my communication skills have gone through the roof lately. And just being empathetic. And also, I don't think it's hard to get there when you're not in a good place.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Yeah. When you're still on the other side of it being like, man, like I'm, I feel like shit right now. How am I supposed to be happy for you?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I know. I know. And that's what, you know, my best friend is, is a machine on Kelly and he is, He is. He is. I talk to him if I'm not with him that day. I talk to him on the phone for three hours every day. And he is like, we are so there for each other. It is like literally I I talking about all these relationships and stuff. Haven't felt emotional.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And then it being like something that follows you forever and becomes a narrative. And then I've had situations in the last couple of years where it was like, I didn't even stand up for myself. And like, those things are just like, okay, understand. Yeah. Like my sister's my PR person. So she's like PR crisis.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And like, I think I'm a pretty good representation of that. You know what I'm saying? But he really a hundred percent is just like, I want you to, I want the world to see how I see you, you know? And he is that person in my life that is, uh, Like, he has, like, the truest, like, love for me as a person, you know? And wants to see me succeed and wants to see me happy.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And when I say these things, too, like, am I just gonna die alone? He's like, bro, no, but you gotta start looking to the right.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
But that's why I was really talking, because we really talk to each other for three hours a day right now just about, like, such real-life stuff and real-life things, as well as him, like, you know, the next song I'm releasing is a song that I played for him, and he was like...
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
yo it's great this is gonna be your greatest song but i want to help you take it there you know i want to help you take it there and then is it rap or is it rock it's a little bit it's it's it's it it's definitely not rock but there is a little bit of my like rap influence in it and um it's an interpolation and i think we're gonna maybe talk about like dropping this right around the release of the song yeah absolutely and um when will it be releasing
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
She's, she's my older sister that she fights for me. Um, but anytime that, I found any one of my great moments that people will come up and tell me affected them in a great way are always me having no thought of that. No thought of that. And I'm not saying like, go make yourself look bad.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Yeah. June 7th is when we're releasing it. And it's like me interpolating You Are My Sunshine, which is like in this such cool way. It's like so cool how we did it and how we made it happen. Um, but I've always been avoiding writing the sun song, like mod sun, modern sunshine. Like I've always been avoiding like writing the sun song. Like, Oh, I don't want to put my finger on the pulse like that.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And like, I finally did. And I found this like really awesome way to do it. And it's like my, my favorite I've ever sounded in my like coolest lyrics that I just feel like a different artist right now. And every time I listen to it, it's like the first time. But he's there for me for that kind of thing. And then as well in his music. I've written songs with him for his music.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And we just look to each other for that. But more importantly, our bond as friends is so powerful. It is so... you know, meeting in the middle of two totally different people. We're two totally different people and so opposite. And, uh, I've just never had a friend that like, truly like cares about me the way that he does.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I don't know if I've ever had anyone in my life that cares about me the way he does.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Like he really, like we were, we were meant to be best friends in this life and like probably crossed paths in another life.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Yeah, cool. And, like, it's so funny. Like, Megan says stuff like that for sure too. She's like, you know. But, yeah, I've just never felt like someone be so, you know, I don't feel like a burden to him at all. Like, if anything, it's like I don't tell him enough, you know. And I've been really good my whole life at avoiding conversations about myself, you know. Mm-hmm.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I really like to be the person I read the 48 laws of power way too early in my life. And the first, the first, uh, rule is like never try to outshine the person in the room.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And also it's one of those books that if you have read, you just don't tell people it was like written by a narcissist or something.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And it's also one of those books that I'm like, Yeah, I'm just not going to tell anyone I've read that because they immediately are like, if they've read it too, they're like, oh, so you're an asshole too.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
fucking reading them can't do it it's a it's a task literally you got to really push yourself to do it push yourself and plan it's weird how much you plan it's like people are supposed to just like be like oh yeah this is my like read a book time and it's like it feels like serious work it's like school i do the same thing i'm like i'm gonna read a book a week this year and i'm like i get like one month into it i'm like yeah i'm gonna read a book a month yeah
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
program your mind type shit and i was just like i don't want i don't want to consume this and there's there was information in it that i was able to like put towards my life yeah and then there was also stuff that made me way less human right it was like yeah i'm successful but i hate myself You know what I'm saying? It's like I hustled everybody around me to get here. What the fuck?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Not saying say some wild shit at 2.30 a.m. that you wouldn't say the next morning.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Because Jelly walked in and was like, hey, man, do I, like, call you, like, Coulson now or something? And Coulson was like, hold that thought. He got me on FaceTime and he was like, hey, yo, what should Jelly call me? And I was like, bro, if you don't call him Coulson, I'm going to be so bummed. I was like, you know him, right? I hate the Coulson thing. I'll never call him that.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
That's, like, the first time it's come out of my mouth actually ever is that.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Like, I only call him Coulson. I'm just, like, hate the, like. oh, I know Colson, like that thing.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I mean, I mean my, my other thing with Cal's too is I'm just like, you know, he's had a, he's had a hard time truly being Mrs. So what, what I, what he says to me, I want the world to see you. I see you. I'm like that times 10 with him. Cause I'm like, you're so fucking misunderstood. If anyone got to have one conversation with them, they'd be like, sweetest guy ever. Nicest person.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
You're awesome for what you do, okay? And, like, just as myself, I have felt inauthentic before. And those moments, like, really...
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Like love this person to death. Cool as fuck. Not arrogant. So humble. So everything. It's just the perfect fucking human being.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And genuine and authentic and all the greatest qualities of a person. And I can't wait.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
you know i think he should i think he should do your podcast i think he should do a podcast in general i'm like it takes 10 clips to rewrite his narrative and i just can't wait for the world to to really know and i and that's not even saying that they don't like he has millions of people that love him oh absolutely it's it's really just being like i can't wait for the other million that are out there that don't understand him to understand who he really is because he's the fucking greatest person i've ever met in my entire life he's lucky to have a best friend like you
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I'm so lucky to have his best friend. And the caveat on that is now we live two minutes from each other. And, like, it'll be 3 a.m. and he just, like, walks in my door or vice versa. And it's so great.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I mean, it changed everything about me also. The time that, you know, you can kind of backtrack to five years from now, or five years ago, where the world of, like, cocaine, which was my fucking everything. You can kind of track where it got really scary, and it's right around that point.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
kind of i let myself down you know and like where i'm at at this point in my life i'm like okay i remember who i am yeah like i remember who i am i am 37 years old just just age in music right we love jelly because he really puts it on the line daddy roll he gives us daddy roll yeah he like gives this whole real talk about what it is it's like Be so proud of your story. Do not try to hide it.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
So I was, like, 21 type shit. Like, 20. Oh, I'm sorry. Like, 23, 22. So maybe it was earlier than that. I really started doing cocaine at, like, 22 years old.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Yeah. And, like, was that person? It's so funny. Cocaine is such a fucked up drug because it was, like, I was anti that. Anyone who ever, like, did it around me, I was like, oh, my God. What the fuck?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Yeah. And total alcoholic. I mean, my dad passed away from being an alcoholic, like, and party animal and, you know, was literally doing cocaine with me up and, you know, when I was fucking fucked up, like for real.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I would love to get into all that, too. I know we've been talking for fucking what seems like... It's about you.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I was addicted from the first line of cocaine I did. I have the alcoholic gene where it's like I can just go and go and go and go and go. Like...
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
and uh and being on stage and being in that lifestyle and being all that it was always like i wanted to be the best at everything so it became be the best drug addict be the best alcoholic and when you're trying to be the best drug addict and best alcoholic it means you do more than anyone else yeah you know um and cocaine's a funny fucking thing because when you first start doing cocaine it's like
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
yo like you want to do like you want to do like let's do okay on the table right here in front of us and it quickly turns into by yourself in the bathroom you know or like if you had a couple drinks oh yeah you just wanted oh yeah but i was like a dark addict you know what i'm saying i was by myself doing eight balls by myself i did that one night not not to party
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Just to fucking... Just sitting behind a microphone, just like, all right, I'm making this... You know what I'm saying? Like, all night. I mean, it was bender after bender after bender. Like, I was an up-for-three-days type of person and addict. And it went on for, you know, like, over a decade of my life. And...
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
To the point that there was really scary times, really times where I was able to hide it. Because the whole thing is I was functioning. I was a functioning addict alcoholic, right? But to pass out, to finally pass out after being tweaked out on cocaine for two days, my...
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
thought in my head was that i had to slam a bottle of whiskey you know to do it so it's just like the cocktail that kills you you know yes absolutely um i used to do cocaine and xanax that was my shit yeah so i'd get so low that i had to come back up and then i'd have to go back down again i don't my heart is fucked yeah a hundred percent a hundred percent yeah
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Like my, my heart is fucked because it's just like needs stimulation so much that now I'm like, like I said, I've drank fucking four shots of espresso today and a C4 and I'm like, but my, I don't know. I don't know. Like that's kind of like I operate in those ways and. It's not great. But but regardless of that, so like I have been going, going, going on this journey.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And I basically like one day after, funny enough, why I also have so much love in my heart for Bella, who we were talking about earlier, is like that was the reason I got sober. was the end of that relationship. That relationship ended, funny enough, at Coachella. So fucking L.A.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
It ended at Coachella, like literally at the festival. And I had a friend who lived out in the middle of Joshua Tree and had just had like Airstream trailers.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And I just took all my drugs in a backpack and went to this Airstream trailer in the middle of Joshua Tree and was holed up in there for two days to the point that my friend, who I was just with last night, shout out Losty, he was my quote unquote assistant, living with me at the time. kind of a caretaker in a lot of ways. Cause I was like in my really bad phase of being an addict.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
He like had to drive down from LA to Joshua tree, like throw me in the, he found me in an airstream in the middle of Joshua tree, like passed out with like a bag of cocaine on my fucking chest legitimately. And, uh, threw me in the back of the car and like drove me back up to LA. And from that moment on, I went on like a six day bender that if I shut my eyes for maybe an hour or
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
every three days during that like i really was like pushed it to my limits and uh like on a suicide mission i really did i really did and um it was also just mixing like whippets and and uh academy and all the all ridiculous like stupid just like ridiculous but anyways um After this, like, long – I wasn't staying at my house. I was staying at my friend's house.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Do not try to keep up with the other people and this and that. Wear it and be it and love it and be proud of it. That's what creates the light around you. I've felt my shit dim. I've felt it dim. And in the last year, I had to just reorganize my life, get back to just being in love with myself.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
After this long, like, four or five days of being at my friend's house, just out of my mind, I, like, came back to my house and lined up this, like, really fat fucking caterpillar line of cocaine, snorted it in my eyes, and rolled it into the back of my head. And my guy who I was talking about, Losty, basically, like, found me just fucking –
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
out, down and out, like on my bath floor, like came to, didn't have to go to the hospital, came to, and was really like, damn, that, that was it. Like, I just got my second lease on life. I'm fucking done. I'm fucking done.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And I, and, and to everyone out there that is at all thinking of sobriety or what can come with it or, or, you know, how to do it or whatever. Like I look at it in a way, uh, That I also made this great trade. And it's like, again, the world makes you think that it's not OK to ask for something when you're doing something that's like good for yourself. Right. Oh, I asked for something. OK.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I was like, I have I knew cocaine was going to kill me from literally a year into doing it. I was like, cocaine is going to kill me. Okay? I had these big, wide dreams in my eyes of being super successful as a musician and, you know, getting the big record deal and making it and getting bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and all that. And...
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I was blocking my blessing because I was bringing around a suitcase filled with shame everywhere I went, okay? I felt shameful every time I did a lot of cocaine, okay? So I can be working as hard as I've ever worked and going so hard and making great things and doing all this, but I am telling whatever is up here, I'm a God person ever since I got sober.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
It brought me to like faith and God and all that. Before it was just like the universe. And you're just telling whatever you believe in that you don't deserve it because you feel shame about yourself. Now, if you're an addict that doesn't feel bad about fucking drinking or doing drugs or any of that, I don't think you're blocking your blessing.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I don't think it's great for you, but I don't think you're blocking your blessing because you're not telling the higher power that I'm a piece of shit. I was telling the higher power, I'm a piece of shit. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve it. And so the second that I got sober, I was like, check it out. I was like, God,
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I was like whatever this is that I'm talking to like I'm gonna show you that I'm worth it and I'm gonna make the great trade and the great trade is I am going to change my life and stop all this shame put down the cocaine put down the alcohol put down the drugs and in return I want you to give me my dreams I want you to give me my fucking dreams and I swear to you not like
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Within a year, like every one of those dreams that I hadn't checked off of my bucket list happened just like that. And I'm just like, yeah, it can sound selfish to be like, I want something in return, but I fucking did and I fucking got it. And and it helps me stay sober knowing that like I owe a favor. I even owe a favor of being like, thank you so much. You did it.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
i love that and i would i would love to be i would love to be able to do that for anyone you know that is that is truly my goal like in my prayers too i'm just like allow me to be of service like allow me to be of service today to all all the people down here and you know and and and just reminding myself that that that service can come as far it
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
It can be as huge as saying something that changes someone's life. It can be as small as holding the door for someone, you know, and just like lead with that. Keep this light around you and, you know, finding your worth and finding your purpose and all that is really important. But like it all boils down to like, dude, how do you just like how are you just proud of yourself?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
How are you just proud of yourself? How did you do something nice today that made you feel proud of yourself?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
So like my, um, my father, we, we had these points in our life where I would go years without talking to him, you know?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
through being like man fuck you you're a piece of shit or fuck you you hurt my sister you know her relationship was even harder like with him in a lot of ways you know and uh and like you know you can fucking go outside if you need to because i know you can start crying if i start talking about shit i i have dad trauma too so i'll probably cry with you guys i'll give you a big hug i promise i'm sorry um and so like uh you know
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
He was a couch surfer, hustler all the way until the day he died. But basically we had gone years without talking to each other. And his girlfriend one day, cause I had moved. So he, he was living out in Long Beach. I got, by the way, I got sent out in the middle of high school, senior year. My mom couldn't, couldn't handle me anymore. Cause I was just like a troubled kid.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
She sent me to go in high school, live with my dad in Long Beach, which was like the funniest decision she could ever make because it was just like insanity.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
free for all yeah yeah and so we would connect and then um i was on tour one time this is why we had our big fallout i was on tour one time and i ended a tour in california this was like broke boy touring still i was still in a band and i came and stayed at his house and i was there and like we got wasted together me and my band was there we were having like this like party we got wasted together i walked out on the streetlights with him he looked at me both of us fucking blackout drunk he looked at me and he's like the doctor told me i got a month to live
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And I was like, what the fuck? I was like, what the fuck? I was like, I'm not going back home. Like my band can go back home without me. This is when I literally like was like out. Cause okay. I kind of skipped over something in the band thing. I got kicked out of that one band. I got picked up by another band to play drums.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
That led me to be in this giant band called Scary Kids, Scaring Kids playing drums. Oh, I heard them. Yeah, I played drums to them. And it all worked out. My first tour ever as Maude's son was Scary Kids, Scaring Kids going, yo, will you play drums for us? And I was like, I'll only do it if I can open as Mod Sun.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
It stands for Movement on Dreams, Stand Under None. I looked up at the sky one night. I said, what is my name? It came into my head, and I never questioned it. It came into my head, M-O-D-S-U-N. What does that mean? Movement on Dreams, Stand Under None. What does that mean? Modern Sunshine. And I never questioned it once. There was never any other name. It happened in one minute.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I like to believe it. It's hard to convince yourself sometimes that you're, like, connected to something, but I believe it.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
But my first tour as Matsun was literally performing to a hardcore, post-hardcore, like, crowd being just booed offstage.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
It's out there. I'll send it to you. But anyway, so I go after this tour. My dad says this to me. And I'm like, yo, everyone can whatever. I got my laptop with me. I'm just going to work on this Mod Sun music that I really believe in. And he never mentioned it again after that night. And he didn't die. And I didn't see him go to the hospital. And I was like, what the fuck is going on here, dude?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Like, why would you tell me that? And nothing happened. And I was like there for like fucking like four months, like being like, what the fuck is going on?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And I'm not going to say what I think was going on because I truly don't know. But I didn't talk to him for like two or three years after that, you know?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
That was definitely like an authentic moment. Again, I'm glad that you say that because that was a moment of like true authenticity, you know? Like we went through this breakup while I'm on tour, bled out in front of the world, going on stage every night. It's like my biggest song is with her and it's my song.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I think it was something else that I would hate to say because if I was wrong, I would feel like an asshole.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I went like two or three years without talking to him. And then all of a sudden I was living in California. Okay. I had moved out to California by this time. Fast forward three years. I'm living in California. I'm living up in North Hollywood. And... His girlfriend called my sister and was like, yo, your father's in the hospital.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Are you talking about when he started living with me? OK, so I guess he was in a coma.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
No, no, no, no, no. But check this out. I drive down there. Okay. Drive down to the hospital. My sister's still living in Minnesota at the time. She flies out. And basically his girlfriend had to show up to be like, here's your dad's bag. He can't live with me anymore. Okay. Kicking him out. Which I don't fucking blame her at all. Dude was like a fucking crazy, right? So I'm like, here we go again.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
move up to north hollywood with me my dad ends up literally sleeping on my couch like i'm talking my grown-up father like sleeping on my couch and like being like my kid and my dad knows that what i'm talking like is i'm not talking down because in the same sentence i'll be like coolest dude that ever lived coolest fucking dude that ever lived and i would not be me without him you know this is not like hate train this is just like what it was you know it's hurt it's pain that you're allowed to talk about yeah and uh and you know so he starts living with me
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And we're having a great time. Because this is like my friend, you know? This is like truly my friend. And so, you know, we're living at this house in North Hollywood, which is where my like cocaine days like really got out of control. I'm talking like the ugly cocaine where you just have like a plate out at all times.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Yeah. So rich. I know. I know. And yeah, I mean, he just proceeds. What really fucked up was that the doctor was like, dude can never drink again. You know, if he ever drinks again, he's going to die.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
So it was like, he ever drinks again, he's going to die. He's in your care. And I'm like, I'm like, dad, you can't drink. You cannot drink because you're not dying on my hands. You cannot drink. He's like, didn't tell me I can't do Coke. Right.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And I'm like, you're not wrong. I'm like, shit. It's 3 a.m. I'm by myself. You want to, I guess, let's blow these lines down. Like, yeah, you're not wrong. They didn't say that, you know? They just said no alcohol. And like, again, dude was so cool. I wish everyone in the world could meet him because he was so cool and charismatic and funny. Life was a joke to him.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
So I had to really be like, okay, like, yeah, this is the hardest thing, but it's my song. Like, I'm not going to deny myself of that, you know? And so I'm going to keep playing it. Yeah, it's hard as hell to play and hear that voice every night, but I'm going to keep playing because that's my song. And so...
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Life was literally, the purpose of life was to make people laugh. And he would make you fucking laugh. He would own every room he walked into and make every fuck it. He had women like women loved this man.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
He could be living out of his piece of shit car and he would be able to be in a relationship with a beautiful woman. Like they loved him.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Yep. Yeah. And so I ended up moving out of that house to another house down in Laurel Canyon and I got a room for him. So I was like, all right, my dad like rolls with me. Like this is my road dog. Like you come on tour with me, you do this with me, like whatever. And, uh,
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Things were going fine, and then I went into his room one night, and I found a bunch of plastic bottles of vodka under his bed.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And I was like, yo, I was like, you're out. I was like, you're out, bro, because you're not dying under my roof. Yeah. Like, I'm not going to take the responsibility that I'll live with for the rest of my life that you fucking died under my roof. You're out. And it was so hard, because again... I had to disconnect from my father, again. The same cycle, all over again.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
But I knew it was the right thing. I knew it was the right thing to do. So then, he goes off, lives with another girlfriend, that was kind of his thing, he'd go find a girlfriend to live with. And... It's hard because, you know, we didn't die. He didn't die on the best terms with each other, you know, because, like, another two years, whatever, went by.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, I... You know, I got a call last night. I've talked about this before, so I'll talk about it again just because it is a big part of the story. But I got a call from him one night. We always had this deal. He was like, if I die, you get my bird. He had an African gray parrot his whole fucking life. This was his best friend.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
He had a love relationship with this bird for real. This was his soulmate, was his bird. And he was like, when I die, she's yours, right? And so I got a voicemail on my phone one night that's like, hey, man. I could hear it in his voice. Hey, man, you know, something came up. Ruby's yours. I'm like, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck's going on?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
So I get in my car and I start driving down to Long Beach. And I'm calling him over and over and over and over and over and over and over. And he finally answers. He's like, it's already done, man. Don't even, just turn around. Just turn around. It's already done. The deal's already done. Just turn around. I'm like, dude, I'm 20 minutes away. Just hold on. Just hold on. Just fucking hold on.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I mean, that kind of started this whole spiral of being, like, from there, it was very, you know, I would have to, like, do a meet and greet every day and kind of, like, fake a smile, you know what I'm saying?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Dude, I get to fucking Long Beach, I kick open the door, and he's like sitting there with his like fucking wrist in the air, like in a pool of blood and shit. And I walk in, slip on the pool of blood, fall into it, and I fucking just start slapping him, slapping him, just like, what's your favorite Allman Brothers song? What's your favorite Allman Brothers song? He like, his eyes come open.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
He's like whipping post. If anyone who knows the song whipping post, like it's like, I feel like dying. It was like the craziest. I just say, and I say, but anyways, that being said, ambulance was called, came, um, and brought him back to life, saved his life. Brought him back to life. All good. You know, shit happened.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And all good. And he made it through. And, you know, at that moment, I was like, Dad, you need to get help. When you get let out of this hospital, I stitched you back up. You got these badass stitches now. All right, I know you like that, Mr. Hell's Angel. Like, you know what I'm saying? I was like... They let you out. I'll put you anywhere you need to go to get help. I got you. Whatever you need.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And he was just like, man, I was wasted. I don't even remember what happened. My mom, who has this horrible relationship with him, calls him and is just like, you need to apologize to your son.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
You need to apologize to your son. And he's just like, I won't do it. And so, boom, we split there. That was when I was like... Whatever. But that was when I went started going really off the rails because this was still drug addict days. You know, I went really off the rails. That's a lot of scary, scaring my family won't pick up the phone.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And that's fine, you know? Not, like, just completely just being in shambles in front of people, like, still being, like, all right, I'm a warrior, you know? Yeah. But so, like, I went on that tour and came home and had to, like, reorganize my life completely and just, like, Environment, so important. I love to say this about people because I clearly look different than I did a year ago.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
You know, the crazy thing is like when when I got into my car after the ambulance came, picked him up. I was like, you son of a bitch. I was like, you. my crazy kind of narcissistic mind as well. It's like, you, you were giving me a story, weren't you? You were giving me some kind of crazy story from my life. Like, weren't you like you son of a bitch.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And also I did. I also, part of me is like, Part of me is like, my dad is a dude who doesn't want to look like a faker. As soon as he found out I was on his way, that's when I think he did this.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
No, it's not okay. And that was when I really had to cut off this relationship. That was when I really had to cut it off.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Yeah, I really had to cut it off because I was like, oh my God, this is like...
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
fucking insanity i was like this crazy also and then in the same breath i was like you son of a bitch you wanted me to have this goddamn story of like pivotal fucking whatever in my life this is when everything changed and now i'm worth it to be an artist like whatever tortured artist syndrome like van gogh cut off his ear that the whole goddamn thing through every artist and i think they have to be tortured to be brilliant yeah my dad was like that i'm like you gave me this all right i'm gonna wear it as my badge of honor now and whatever
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And, uh, we'd reach out every now and then, and then the, what the, the bummer is, this is like, we were supposed to meet up, uh, Um, like maybe this was like two years after this happened, we're supposed to meet up. He's like, Hey man, I'm coming down. I had like healed from this a little bit. I was like, yes, let's get lunch. You know, let's get lunch.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I healed from this, you know? And, and, and, and I do want to talk to you and God damn it. I miss you. You're my fucking dog.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
yeah and um he was uh he was he was he made plans to come down um on a train and then oh my god i didn't zip up my fucking zipper after oh i can't fucking i went to the bathroom halfway because we got camera angles but keep that in i'm a real person um and uh and um So he was getting on a train to come down.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And the day before, he's like, hey, man, so can you pick up me and my girlfriend from the train station? And then can you take us to this classic car lot? We're going to look at buying this car. And I was like, bro, what the fuck? I'm not trying to see you and your girl. You were coming down to see me. Now this is about you and your girl coming down to buy a classic car? Like, what the fuck?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I was like, no. I was like, no, dude, no. I was like, I was going to see you. And I was like, it was a lot for me to even say I was going to go get lunch with you, you know? And I was like, no, no, it's not happening. And then shortly after that, he went into another coma. And that was how he went out. But the caveat to all this is that when I got to go see him in the hospital,
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I brought a little one of those little like JVC speakers in my pocket and it was during COVID. So it was a one at a time thing. And like my sister went in, you know, my sister never should have done all this, but she had to take on like all of this, like the adult, you know, because he had no one. He had no one. And my sister took just all this. I love you.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Um, and anyways, anyways, anyways, cool rock and roll part about it is that I got my chance.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Cap in the cool part. Here we go. Okay. So like my sister goes in and sees him and like I go in and get my chance to see him and I pull out this speaker and I fucking turn it on full volume and play Whipping Post by the Allman Brothers and I get kicked out of the hospital.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And I gave, I know he was, because when I said, I was like, what's your favorite Allman Brothers song in this crazy time? I was like, man, that might be the last thing that he heard, which is like his fucking song, dude. And, but I thought that was just the way that he wanted to go out. And I was like, I'm going to give that to you pops after all this shit. Like, hell yeah.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I love it. And just you saying that, again, we've been told certain rules that are so backwards. We're told... materialism is wrong, right, okay? I'm talking like, If you really in your heart believe that like a great outfit won't make you feel better about yourself, you're tripping.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
You know, that's the way you'd want it. Me get kicked out of the hospital, coming to see him, you know?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Thank you. Every day. I have been telling myself that for a long fucking time.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I was like, my dad was so close to being the fucking coolest shit in the world. And he just couldn't get past this one thing.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Yeah. I was like, the tree was going like this. And then, you know, for me on out, it goes like this, you know.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Thank you for all that. And, you know, like, again, there's, like, that flip side to everything. And, like, you know, my sister, shortly after all this had happened, well, she had just moved out to L.A., but it really has brought us to, like, this thing where we're just, like... Man, fuck the world. We got each other.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
yeah i yeah i feel like i i'm i feel like i have in a lot of ways you know like i've always felt like i've been able to like zoom out from the situation i have and like you know obviously just you know hope for my sister's gone through like everything i have but plus more because she was like had to raise me
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
you know in a lot of ways you know because my mom was like a single mom so she had to work all the fucking time you know all the time yeah all the time my mom had to work and like greatest mom in the world and is my mom and always felt like my mom but then when i grow up i realized like being able to talk to my sister that i was like oh no my sister like fucking had to raise me as well you know
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
But we're told like, no, no, no, no, don't. Or you're told like your appearance, your appearance. Like I changed my appearance. I go out and people be like, dude, you look better than you've ever looked. That makes me feel great. That helps me feel secure. Right. It's like these things that are that are just these little building blocks that like
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Listen, listen. Our soul yearns. It's maybe the least crazy thing that we've talked about today to me.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
That's my first book. So I have six books out, but that's my first book. And it's the thing that really changed my life. Like that truly changed my life as far as like art, like Yeah, yeah, of course. It's like, you know, this was a 21-year-old, my son, who was living his life by the law of attraction and the secret.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And the only time I ever heard people speak on it, especially at this time, was much older people, you know, that I was like, I want to make a version that youngins can... hear those words and actually connect the same thing with the hockey and the handsome thing.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I wanted to make that, I wanted to make my version of the secret or the law of attraction and what that meant to, from the, the lens of a younger person. Um, so it's like very like creative writing, but motivational. It's like the, did I ever wake up is like basically being like how to live your life.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Like it's a dream and believe that you're in a dream and believe that you're like able to do manifest. Yes. To believe that. Um, and it changed my life. I mean, that book is sold like 200,000 copies. It's, it's, it's the one thing that I've been able to like live my journey through is like this piece of intellectual property that is my book, you know?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
This is the only one that's like in, in this realm. And then I have like two poetry books out and then I have three, um, journaled kind of, uh, if I had one here, it'd be really easy to understand, but it's like, Um, I go on some kind of trip and I write the first half of this, uh, the a hundred page thing or whatever.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
you've kind of been told are not the way right like a simple thing you have to break down what it is to you but for me i've just figured out recently like what is happiness duh the most cliche thing ever what is happiness yeah i figured out what it is to me it's something to look forward to that's it all this all this like be present be in the moment all that is like Get it. Love it.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I write my story just day by day, this day did this, did this, this, this, and then the cover is on the, the same cover is on the flip side of the back. So you flip it over like that. It looks the exact same, but then you go to the pages and they're blank. So it's like two stories come to live together and it kind of like,
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
influences like the younger generation the importance of writing and not just diary entries would like to write and and literature and and the importance of those things that that live between the pages all the answers are in the books truly and um not my books the books i'm saying like period you know and uh so i just like to influence like the the world to to be in touch with especially like the importance of literature and just like telling your old your own story
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Not not for the simple fact of being like the world needs to hear my story, but telling yourself your story, you know, documenting things, living like your dad, like that, like living like your dad, living, making art like you're dead and gone. How important would it be for your 100 years from now, people connected to your family to find your journal?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
It's so important. It's so important to... I think those things I tell as many people possible that, like... Also, like, check it out, dude. Fucking music is the one piece of art that I do that I feel has so little intellectual property because my favorite song is Like a Rolling Stone, let's say, right? Bob Dylan, Like a Rolling Stone. Regarded as the greatest song of all time.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
That is 99 cents right now, okay? A song that a kid just made, his very first song that let's just for all sakes of this argument call it terrible, okay? It's 99 cents. That is fucked up to me. If this is a song that's regarded as the greatest song of the world, why is it the same price as the song from the kid that just made it last night in one hour not knowing what he was doing? Why is that?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
A book? That is intellectual property. If I say that book is worth $3,000, that book is worth $3,000 fucking dollars, period. End of discussion. And like, I don't care how much it took to make it. I don't care how much time it took to take it. If I say that's how much it is worth, that's how much it's worth. And it's the same with my paintings.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And it's the same with any of the things that I do outside of music, because music, I'm in this confine of. of a world that's not changing and hasn't changed and it's like that's just a crazy thing to me that there's a set price on greatness in that world but a painting you know yeah a fucking Basquiat painting is selling for 200 million dollars yeah
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
It's like that. That's why I love those types of intellectual property. I think they're so important.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
You're not putting your worth compared comparatively like stuck in a world like you could literally tell you could say I'm making one book and I'm selling it for one hundred thousand dollars and you'll find someone to buy that book.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I mean, I hear it with you. I hear you allowing people to, like, find themselves when I listen to your episodes. And then I also hear you stumble upon things that you're figuring out about yourself when you're talking to someone and you ask the question.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
So years go by and my, so I got, one of the things that changed my life that this is awesome to mention is that after a year and a half of being Mod Sun and releasing music as Mod Sun, my brand of like rap and this, I got chosen by Rolling Stone magazine to be one of 15 people put in a contest to be the first unsigned artist put on the cover of Rolling Stone, right?
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And it was just like this thing that I was like, The law of attraction is real.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
It's real. All my songs are about the law of attraction. And I'm in five issues of Rolling Stone right now. This is fucking nuts. And so while that's going on, here comes the guitar player that kicked me out from the other band. And he was in a band that was signed. And they break up. And he sends me a picture of him having my logo, a mask like this, tattooed on his wrist.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And he goes, so proud of you, bro. So proud of you, bro. And I was like, I have missed you so goddamn much. I have missed you so much. I was like, come be my guitar player. I'm going out to New York to do this competition for Rolling Stone and be on camera for a week. Come be my DJ and guitar player, bro. I have missed you so much. Boom. He's there.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I want to wake up and have something to look forward to. That makes me happy. It doesn't need to be some career-driven goal. It doesn't need to be anything ridiculous. It can be something so simple as like, I wake up and like, I love the first picture that I have hanging on my wall in my room. And that like makes me want to get up. It can be also something giant.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
We go on for years together to tour the world together, and he's guitar and singing, and he's been featured on some of my songs. His name's Pat Brown. Love him to death. The what I do in my life and being an artist was not made for him, so now he's... He's a tour manager now, and he tour manages Tiesto. He's popping. He's legit. He did his thing. Brought him back around.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
We fucking had an amazing run, traveled the world together, still talk to this day. The other guy that kicked me out, he was my DJ before. He became my DJ after he kind of left. No, no, no. It was before he was my first DJ, before my friend Pat came around. And then he decided to go to art school and went to art school for a while and then was like, man, this school shit's not for me.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I was like, he came to my going away party to move to California. I hadn't talked to him for like two years. He came to my going away party that my sister threw me, a surprise party. She invited him. He came. We hadn't talked in a while. He's like, man, I'm going through this rough relationship. I just broke up. Like, I want to quit school. I don't know what to do.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I was like, I'm moving to California tomorrow. I got an extra bedroom there. I have missed you. I was like, if you fucking want to pack your shit up, come live with me, bro. Just let's work together. You make art and shit. You can do all my covers and shoot some videos and DJ, play guitar, whatever you want to do, you know? And brought him back around. And now he's still out here.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
He's gone on to be a huge person, graphic designer for girls, skateboards. And now he has his own creative agency and stuff. And so, you know, I'm super proud of both of them. But you broke my damn heart and I never held it against you.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
We're going to be dropping an album. My first, my first song from this new run of things, I have left the internet for the last six months. I haven't dropped anything in, in, almost a year, and I'm coming back with my song that I've worked so hard on this new music, but also just came into it so pure.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Like I said, I went back to Minnesota, I was like, I'm not gonna make music for three years, and if I want to after that, cool, I will. I came in with so much pure intention to make music, and I stumbled upon making what I believe could be the song that everyone knows me for for the rest of my life, you know? Kelz helped write on it with me.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
One of my newest additions to my best friendography is this guy named No Love, who is, I think, one of the most talented people around. It's just this tight-knit group that we have. And yes, I'm releasing a song. It's going to be out on June 7th. So depending on when this comes out, it's either out right now or it's about to come out.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And from there, I'm going to just continue releasing over the summer. And then I'm going to go on...
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
uh a tour most likely this will be out when this gets announced too as well at the uh end of september and yay we'll be on tour too so i get my own tour bus whenever i go on tour with daddy and so hopefully our paths will cross oh i can't wait you guys like we can either go to one of your shows or it'll come to ours or both or whatever yeah we'll have to link schedules yeah that'll be fun and i i'm just i've never been more fulfilled with the music i make and and
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
The simple fact is that I was a drummer growing up and I always wanted to play guitar and get good at guitar. And I've kept 12 guitars around me at all times throughout my whole life and just never clicked for me. And within the last six months, due to my really great friend, Noel Love, who's an incredible guitar player, it's clicked for me. It's totally clicked.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I have something to look forward to. Let me create something to look forward to whatever it is, you know? And it's like, once I realized that 37 years old into my life, you know what I'm saying? It was just like, boom, that that's what it is to me, you know? And yeah,
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And I've been writing all my songs, just me and a guitar. And whether they get like a little production on top of that, it's all very purposeful production. But a lot of it, my favorite song I've ever wrote that I've been trying to write since I was 13 years old, it's called Morning Breaks. It's going to come out this summer. It's just my voice and a guitar, same time recorded playing it.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And it is the song I've been trying to write my entire life. And my friends that mean the world to me are like, I cried to this, you know? I cried to this song. And I'm just like, bingo. I'm fulfilled. I'm just so fulfilled musically. My expectations start and end right there. Am I fulfilled? Absolutely. Good. Let it out into the world.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Whatever these things do, grow up on your own and have a great time out there, songs. But you have fulfilled me, and I'm so proud of that. And I have nothing but happiness to share it with the world. And that's all I want to do is share it. Grow your own legs. Go live your life. I hope you become the biggest goddamn songs that I've ever created.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
But I'm also like, you're a child that hasn't been born yet, so I'm not telling you you have to be a goddamn superstar.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And I needed you. But also, also, I needed you. Like, it's, I think, you know, I tell some of my close friends, too, like, when they're going through something, I'm like, well, you know what? Go outside and be social. Go into a social setting. You might be like, man, I don't feel like being around people tonight. Go out. You'll be reminded how much people love you.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
And, like, that is so crucial to getting through a tough time. Like, remind yourself how loved you are. You know, just like, it's okay to do these little like hacks in life. It's not all this like, be present, be in the moment, make sure that you're focused on the right. It's like, no, allow other people to make you happy as well. And like, don't be so goddamn hard on yourself.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Be gentle, go out, remind yourself. It could be one person that's like, damn, I miss seeing you. And you're like, okay.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
just realizing that there's these little things that are okay with utilizing in your life, like changing your appearance, changing your environment, building things to look forward to, obviously keeping great people around you that give you the hard talks, the hardest talks. are the ones that make your life easy, the uncomfortable ones.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
M-O-D-S-U-N on everything. ModSun. And, you know, I would love to meet you all out there. Anyone out there.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
Great talks really happen. Great connections really happen. Friends are still alive and well. It's never too late to make a new friend.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
I really like dove into that in the last year and like focused on that and that only. and finding things that were missing in my life. Really, really applying those as a musician.
Dumb Blonde
TBT: Mod Sun
and push yourself and it can be something so simple like when you when when people hear these talks like a lot of the time they're human condition it's like jump to something like gigantic right or like build a goal that's like a year from now right you know not unattainable but at that moment yeah right yeah 100 it's like dude Build a goal for yourself for the next six hours.