Manuel Betancourt

I have something because I think I understand this. Okay, the context I have for this is in my relationship, we have figured this out with any comments about food or exercise. Okay. And so I think the idea is, so in my relationship, John has just learned that he can say absolutely nothing about food, not even the most benign things.

I have something because I think I understand this. Okay, the context I have for this is in my relationship, we have figured this out with any comments about food or exercise. Okay. And so I think the idea is, so in my relationship, John has just learned that he can say absolutely nothing about food, not even the most benign things.

Like if I'm saying I've had trouble sleeping or I'm not feeling well, and the obvious answer is you need to go exercise or you need to eat better, which is clearly everyone knows is the answer. Right.

Like if I'm saying I've had trouble sleeping or I'm not feeling well, and the obvious answer is you need to go exercise or you need to eat better, which is clearly everyone knows is the answer. Right.

This cannot be said out loud because any kind of suggestion that I should be exercising or that eating a certain thing is better than eating another certain thing is so close to the bone that it just, I actually can't tolerate it. It's so upsetting to me. And I think I understand maybe her partner because by any objective measure, that's insane.

This cannot be said out loud because any kind of suggestion that I should be exercising or that eating a certain thing is better than eating another certain thing is so close to the bone that it just, I actually can't tolerate it. It's so upsetting to me. And I think I understand maybe her partner because by any objective measure, that's insane.

for John not to be able to say what is obvious and objectively true. And when it comes with zero, I have zero data to think that John wishes that I would be anything other than exactly what I am. So it doesn't make sense that I interpret things like him saying, you look healthy. to be you look fat. Oh God. And you have had changes to your body and you whatever.

for John not to be able to say what is obvious and objectively true. And when it comes with zero, I have zero data to think that John wishes that I would be anything other than exactly what I am. So it doesn't make sense that I interpret things like him saying, you look healthy. to be you look fat. Oh God. And you have had changes to your body and you whatever.

So notwithstanding that, notwithstanding that there is zero evidence to support that that is his intention. That is how I am

So notwithstanding that, notwithstanding that there is zero evidence to support that that is his intention. That is how I am

feeling about it yes and so it was a journey right because similar to maybe how her partner is saying but there's no meanness in it he's feeling the need to defend like I am not being mean I have no meanness in me about it it's funny I should be able to say funny things it could be like that same parallel yes in a neutral world you should be able to do that and in a neutral world my husband should be able to suggest that maybe if I didn't eat six pounds of sugar before bed

feeling about it yes and so it was a journey right because similar to maybe how her partner is saying but there's no meanness in it he's feeling the need to defend like I am not being mean I have no meanness in me about it it's funny I should be able to say funny things it could be like that same parallel yes in a neutral world you should be able to do that and in a neutral world my husband should be able to suggest that maybe if I didn't eat six pounds of sugar before bed

I would sleep better. But we don't live in a neutral world. And I think being able to explain to John that this has absolutely nothing to do with what he is bringing with his comments. It has everything to do with a wound that was existing before I even met him.

I would sleep better. But we don't live in a neutral world. And I think being able to explain to John that this has absolutely nothing to do with what he is bringing with his comments. It has everything to do with a wound that was existing before I even met him.

Right. Right. But it's not about intent. I could see I have to live my whole ass life. I like making funny jokes. I like quipping. That's the way that I have endearing. It puts one person against another person. It puts one person's rights against another person's rights as if that is the battle. But when you say, yes, in a neutral world, I should be able to roll with that. I get that.

Right. Right. But it's not about intent. I could see I have to live my whole ass life. I like making funny jokes. I like quipping. That's the way that I have endearing. It puts one person against another person. It puts one person's rights against another person's rights as if that is the battle. But when you say, yes, in a neutral world, I should be able to roll with that. I get that.

in a neutral world, you should be able to comment about certain things, but that's not like, I need you to see, not that this is a battle between me and you, but this is a thing that is not about what you're saying. It's about something that happened to me way before. Yeah. And you saying this very benign thing is activating that piece.

in a neutral world, you should be able to comment about certain things, but that's not like, I need you to see, not that this is a battle between me and you, but this is a thing that is not about what you're saying. It's about something that happened to me way before. Yeah. And you saying this very benign thing is activating that piece.

It's not a power struggle between me and you about what is funny and what is not. And I think that opens up people don't have to defend themselves. Right. Like if you say that's not nice, that's not funny, that's mean. Of course, they're going to be like, that's not mean for the following 47 reasons. And that's just natural instinct.

It's not a power struggle between me and you about what is funny and what is not. And I think that opens up people don't have to defend themselves. Right. Like if you say that's not nice, that's not funny, that's mean. Of course, they're going to be like, that's not mean for the following 47 reasons. And that's just natural instinct.