KT Smith
Appearances
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And he would drive by at 3 a.m. when he got off over and over in his truck. And so like anytime I hear that noise, I'm like still looking outside. And it's crazy because like, 3 a.m. to me is like not the good hour. I'm like, as long as I can make it past 3 a.m., then I'm good and like safe.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Yeah. And then a few years later, he actually reached out. I kept having someone call me in the middle of the night from a blocked number and it would freak me out because I already hate that time. And finally, when I answered, like I would just hear like deep breathing and I'm like, OK, even sketchier.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Like, you've already... Well, he's still a youth pastor, so...
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Well, we went through it had to go through like legal stuff, obviously, when DCS got involved. And after I had gone through that for about a year and a half of like talking to so many people and telling them the story over and over again, I was like, I can't heal if I'm just reliving this over and over again and nothing's happening.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And so they were like, well, it'll be another until you're 18. Until like something was figured out. And so I was like, you know what, just drop it because I'm not dealing with it because there was no evidence of it happening, even though it happened for so long.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
I preach about that. They fail a lot of people. And I see it every day because I volunteer and see what these kids are going through. Yeah. But, yeah, he reached out. And, I mean, he reached out a lot but never said who it was. And then one day when I answered, he was like, it's me. Like... I'm sorry I put you through all that. Like, I'm in love with you.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
sexually abuses a 13 14 year old and you stay with him you are just as much of the problem as you have a young daughter of your own I'm shaking I'm so mad um but when I asked him how I got my number he was like you tweeted it to someone like two years ago and I found it and I mean that's how long the calls were lasting that I would get in the middle of the night
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And then I was just like, hey, I have evidence now of you reaching out because he sent me a text after that, too. I was like, I have evidence now of you reaching out. So like if you don't. It's like just never contact me again. If so, I can use this as evidence and it'll clear my name and people will know that you were at fault. So I'm going to get a restraining order if you reach out again.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
He pulled me through it. And now I'm able to talk to people about the same thing. It's not, I always say like, I can't speak on a season of life that I haven't been through myself.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And now I can. Yeah. So when girls tell me about like what they've gone through or I can either help them through it because I've been through it myself or I can hopefully prevent it from happening and them know that they have so much more worth than. what they think when you're that young.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
well the other shoe dropped um oh no I it's okay so I had a very serious boyfriend at that time and was very close to his family as well um They were just what I wasn't used to. It was just like a full, huge family. And it was just good to be around. So I felt safe. I definitely stayed. I think we were together for a little over four years. And I stayed probably two years too long.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
But it was because their family felt so safe and great. So keep that in mind. He was with me through this whole scenario, him and his family. But I had a family member around that time. get a little crazy. Um, just was like taking, I don't know if you know what Tramadol is. It's like higher than ibuprofen, but it's prescription. Um, but I didn't know what was going on.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Like they had said they had cancer and, um, quit their job and the only reason I'm not saying who it was is just because I it's a huge part of my story but I also they've changed so radically that I don't want them to I don't want them to look bad or and it's your privacy that you're allowed to keep
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Yeah, it's just they've changed so much and I have so much respect for them that I wouldn't want them to go backwards from it. Understandable. But lied about having cancer, lied about all of this stuff, and I was having to pay the bills. And them just... I had to move out because it was so bad. And I moved out on my own and it was still going on to where it was like kind of suicidal.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Like, well, if you don't help me, then this is going to happen or whatever. just crazy stuff. Um, and it was just a lot.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Yeah. And it went on for about two years of it until like, I was like, okay, I can't handle this anymore because it'd be like, Oh, let me help you get a new car because I, ours got repossessed or let me help you do this because otherwise our electricity won't be on, or I have to pay rent because we'll get evicted. Um, my credit was absolutely demolished.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Um, and that's because everything was in my name, the apartment that we lived in, the utilities, the cable, if the cable bill, which I didn't know at the time, but like the cable bill wouldn't get paid. And then that would be mine and collections or, um, the apartment that I thought was, I was paying, that I thought, getting evicted from that and then having that on the credit.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Let me help you get a car. Oh, wrecked it. Like all this stuff was just piling on top of each other. And finally, like once like the suicidal talk was happening, like I had just started college. I did community college and I was going through exams and couldn't focus on anything, dropped out. But I finally got to a point and I was like, okay, you need help.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
So I went through emails and I realized that it was a lie and like what was going on. Cause I was like, what in the world could be going on to act like this, to act like you got fired from your job for like a medical excuse, which at that time, like, Oh, that's, it would give too much information, but, um, it just didn't make sense.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And so I finally found out, like called the doctor's office, like the doctor's office, like didn't exist. Like she wasn't a patient there. Um,
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
I had to be independent. Otherwise the other shoe, there were no shoes left to drop. Yeah. So I was like, you need to get help. They went to rehab, radically changed. So everything was amazing.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Yes. That's where all the money was going. Wow. Because from when my dad died, we had money to, I think it was probably like 1100 a month. And that alone should have covered rent.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
But I'm like, where in the heck is that going? Or like when they had a job. And so it was just a lot of, dots that didn't line up. Um, so that's when I was finally like, okay, buying drugs online, lying about everything. That's where the money's going. It all made sense. So she ended up going to rehab and it changed everything, but the, it was so much better.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
So, well, I think they realized that it would there was going to be a relationship mended or relationship that would never be there again. And it completely, it took a lot of time to rebuild that trust, but it was completely built back up. Everything just seemed safe and clean and good.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
I feel like after that, all of that stress and trauma, I mean, I had broke up with my boyfriend that everyone thinks I was engaged to. Never got engaged. They're like, oh, she's been engaged six times. And I'm like, actually, no. Yes, it has been three times, but not to him.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Yes. Anything you see on me, see about me online. It's like she's been engaged six times. I guess she's the problem. And I'm like. People write songs that literally try to like tie into my life. I guess she's probably like, well, I just don't settle. So, yeah, for a little bit. And then I'm like, no. Yeah.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
You can't do that either. You can't defend yourself or it's a lie. No, ever. Yeah.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
If you respond, they fuel it with fire. If not, then. they create the fires of their own.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Yes. I think that's beautiful. And it was amazing community too. Like I loved, loved, loved that church. And that's where like my love for kids came because I would volunteer in the nursery, but then like, oh my gosh, they, I guess they knew and I didn't know, but they would give me like Hey, can you stay after and like watch these kids? Like they're really crazy.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Like this is, I was watching these two kids that the parent that worked at the church. So when they were doing worship team, I would watch them. And then I ended up starting working there and I was still watching them, but she had two crazy boys, very crazy. And they were like, you're the only one that can do it. And I'm like, all right, well, sign me up then.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Well, you already have, but here I go. And my love for kids came from that. And then it's funny because not only was I doing the kids ministry, but I was doing social media for them. Didn't think in a million years that I would be doing social media for a living. And then I met Morgan on Snapchat in 2016.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Yes. And I mean, we only snapped for about a month and then we met right after my birthday and
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Right. Um, he had, he had just been on the voice, but I was, I didn't think that was cool or anything. Yeah. Yeah. When I showed the people that I worked with at the church, like, uh, I was like, just don't judge like the way he looks. Cause he had like long hair and I was just like, just take it with a grain of salt. And she was like, Oh, he's cute. And I was like, Oh, you think so? Um, yeah.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Yeah. So he invited me to like his show, which wasn't really a show. There weren't many people there.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
But it was with Josh Turner. And then he invited me to hang out afterwards. at this bar, shocker. And it was not, did not go as expected. Um, no, what happened? I was, he was not thrilled that I wouldn't go home with him. Oh. And so I ended up going home by myself, but it did not end well in that aspect. Then my phone died. But then when I got home, he was like, I'm so sorry. Like all this stuff.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Yes. Heavily. Yeah. But then I was like, okay, whatever. We'll try again. So then we hung out again on Thanksgiving. And then a month later... We were like we were pretty serious around this time. I guess pretty serious as in a month later.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
It can bite you in the butt. Yeah, for sure. It is like definitely great in the time being. Yeah. But a month later, he invited me to his family's Christmas and he was like, oh, it's just 15. I swear to this day, he still doesn't say that it was only 15 minutes away. But I'm like, you told me that we were going 15 minutes away.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
It ended up being like an hour and a half drive with his like parents that I had never met in the car. And I mean, it was a lot of fun, but I got there and there's probably a hundred people that I had to meet.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And then it got, it was really serious. We got engaged four months later in April. Which is funny because I always get engaged around Easter.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
No. Because my other two engagements were on Easter. And none of them knew prior. Like, oh, hey, she got engaged in Easter like two years ago. Or, oh, she just, yeah, no. No.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Cause I need to stay safe. I need to like be in the clear.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Oh, yeah. I mean, throughout our relationship, they're like all the trauma and stuff like I thought he hung the moon and stars like everything that he did. I was like amazed by. But. Yeah. He, we, my ring was from like, what's that store in the mall? Swarovski.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Oh, it was like a $75 ring. I didn't care. We, I was just like, I don't want a big ring. Like you could do, it was like the whole, you could give me a ring pop thing. I don't care.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Um, so we, I was had to go to work right after that. So we had about five minutes and in the parking lot, he said, are we going to do this or what? And then we were engaged. That was the proposal at the JCPenney parking lot in Knoxville.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And I mean, I loved it. Yeah. And I was thrilled. And then after work, we got pizza and celebrated.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
It was so simple. Yeah. Cause now it'd be like expected to be some huge thing that, I mean, there's just no point in all of that. Yeah. Um, yeah. I don't know how long after that. I think it's 2017 is when he got asked to go on tour with FGL. So we went on tour together, did all that stuff. Um, the engagement did not last long. Um, we stayed together, but He wasn't the most faithful.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Oh, I didn't find out like a lot of it until a lot later. But this time I had just walked out of the van, little tiny van that we were in that we would be with. all of us stinky guys and for like 17 hours. And so it was actually before a long drive that I walked out and saw him with another girl in the parking lot. Um, while you were on tour with him. Oh yeah.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
I mean, this was like very, this wasn't even like the tour yet. This was like one of his private shows at like one of the little, um, hole in the wall bars. Um, And, I mean, he was just, like, crying, sobbing, snotty, all the stuff in front of his band.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Were they banging? I was like, good Lord. No, it's just in the parking lot. Like, a whole crowd of people and stuff, which... Right.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
about the whole like I can't speak on something like a season that I haven't been through and throughout like all of the cheating and stuff like I still can't I don't I'm going to say I don't blame him for it just because I don't know how it'd be to come into that much fame like overnight and just be huge and have all the success and then all these girls like throwing themselves at you like I don't know how that is so I didn't blame him for it well I think that
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Yeah. Well, my therapist says that he just became that safe space for me of like, I'm not used to the stability of someone just like constantly like being around and being that person that I look to for comfort. And that's why I stayed. Cause she always, she's like, well, was it worth it? Like all of that pain that he put you through.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And I was like, yeah, like you still hung the moon and the stars for me. And I, like I said, I don't blame him because I don't know what I would have done if I was put in that position. Um, and I mean, I just happened, um,
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
lots more times than that and people always say like oh she cheated on him too I wrote it in a blog and I'm like show me the blog because I never cheated on him like I literally thought he hung the minimum stars yeah like I probably like put him on such a pedestal that above so many other things that I shouldn't have at the time well you loved him you were in love with him I was very much in love with him um so the other times were like dms like the hey girl dms
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And then I, the one time it happened, I didn't believe it. Like I was like, you know what? Cause he would always say like, don't ever respond to people because then it makes our relationship look like it's like wobbly and like, you don't want, it's just embarrassing basically. Yeah. And I believe that.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
I was like, okay, if I respond and it is some like kooky person out there, then it does look like I'm insecure about the relationship. But then I had asked someone that had been around him often, another female, like a wife. and asked her, I was like, hey, I know you've been through this kind of stuff before and you've been in the spotlight longer. What do you think?
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And she was like, I would ask for proof. And I was like, are you sure? Like, I don't want it to look bad on our part. And she was like, no, you need, it's time. It's time for you to ask for proof. And I did. And she sent me all a text of like, hey, what's your apartment code? Like all this stuff. And he was there when I did all that.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
It was like I was in the bathtub and he was just like bawling his eyes out. Like, I'm so sorry. It'll never happen again. All this stuff. And I think at that point, I just kind of also felt stuck because we had an apartment together. And I mean, there was a lot of other times.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
After that, that stuff like that happened that were that would put me in the fetal position on the floor, like so much anxiety. Didn't know what to do because I was in love with this man and then stayed.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And everyone around me would tell me that they were changing.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
They'll change. Like, it's just like part of it. Like just wait, just wait. Or like my husband didn't stop cheating until they got this age. Like it's just part of it. And I believed it. And I prayed all the time for that. Um, but yeah, It just never happened, and that's fine. I mean, he's grown as a person now, and I respect him more now than I ever have.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
His life is extremely private, but what people don't see is that he has grown tremendously. I respect him so much as a person, and he's a great dad, and he lives a great life that's private, and he can still do what he does while keeping it private, and I think that's Great. And I'm, I love that he's had that radical change and it wasn't with me, but that's okay.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
I think we've been at the same places, but we've never met.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
that was a hard time oh i had just gone on tour with him for like the first time in forever um because when you're hidden in a relationship you don't get the hey girl dms so i was hidden for a while so that people didn't know we were dating and even though you guys reach out even though you guys had already been together and been public
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Yeah, it was like going public and then not being posted again ever. And I didn't post anything ever either. I randomly would, but no one followed me. No one knew who I was, so it didn't matter. And then I went on tour. That was like the first time in a very long time, I guess. I mean, you can't really cheat on someone if they're not with you or if they are with you. And then it's near Halloween.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
It was the Luke Combs tour. And... He got super drunk. I was drunk. He got mad about something and sent me home from Canada. by myself while I was drunk. That was probably like the scariest time that I went through because I am not airport savvy. And I was in an Uber crying to the Uber about life. Oh God. Yeah. And then like getting to the airport and throwing up all that stuff. Oh no.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Getting home. And it was like the same thing as always. Like, After it happens. I'm so sorry. All this stuff. I had blocked him at this point. Even though we were still good and well dating. But I would block him. We'd get back together. And it was just a constant cycle of that.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And yeah. Definitely had that. I don't remember what it's called. But when you can't let go of it.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Trauma bond. Yes. But I got the emails of like. probably four days before I found out of I'm ready to settle down I want to start a family with you I'll start posting you again like I want you on tour with me all this stuff and then I found out and sent him a picture of my pregnancy test and it all just kind of went to crap from there um
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And then we only talked probably like twice out of my entire pregnancy while everyone else was like, hey, he'll come back. Like once he meets the baby and like all this stuff, like it'll be like a huge change, all of this. And it was not that.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
yeah we went back and forth um we went back and forth because right when it happened i was fighting him on like all the stuff that he would always say i'm like clearly it isn't true because of how this even happened um so i was fighting him of like this can't like we can't be together type stuff the stuff i would always say to fight back to it so that he would fight even more
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
but then it kind of fizzled out from there of like, okay, you're right. But I was still trying to make it work. And he had just kind of took his own path. And so we talked about, Once I'd had him come over when I was pregnant and then we slept together and then nothing else came from that again until like right before I was about to give birth.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And then he came to the hospital right after I gave birth. It was during COVID. So only one person could be in the room. And, um, my mom was in the room with me and he came right after that, saw Indigo, all that stuff and nothing ever came from it. Um, and 2020 was a wild year for him.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Literally, I was like, okay, maybe this isn't meant to be.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
But it is what it is. And I mean, it took him a while to be where he is now about like being on a good path, but it happened thankfully before Indigo was too old to realize it.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Yeah. I saw it in a dream and I was like, you know what, we're going to run with this. And it was going to be Indigo James. But he was not a fan of the name Indigo. And so I was like, you know what? Fine. I'll change it. I changed it the day I got, I had him. And I was like, I'll just make it Wilder because it's a family name for Morgan.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And he was always super close to his granddad and his granddad passed. So it was a very like special name for him. Um, so it just became Indigo Wilder and it was a good compromise without him. having to change the whole thing. Yeah. But I love it because it is a family name.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
It was good. It was a lot because I had no one knew who I was before that. I had my close friends and that was about it. And then he announced that he had a son and all of it came in. And so it was a lot to I think I remember that.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Cause I didn't know about any of that. I didn't know about that lifestyle and then just seeing Morgan go through it. And then to be leaving the hospital with all of these news outlets coming in and like wanting a statement and all this stuff. And I was just like, I have like a two day old baby. Like this is a lot, but it was during COVID.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
So that was nice because it was just us at home being able to spend time together and like,
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
my world had changed like I didn't have FOMO anymore like I was just good with being home with him and the social media thing ended up working out because I didn't have to go back to work and it was nice yeah you started building your presence on social media so to put all the rumors to rest is there a chance for you and Morgan to ever get back together absolutely not No.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
We get along really well. We co-parent really well. Like I said, he's a great person. I respect him with everything. If I am ever going through something and I need advice, that's who I go to. He's been through a lot. He has people that know more than I do. And we co-parent enough to go on school tours together and do that kind of stuff. Yeah.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
He would never admit that any of them are. Yeah. But some I'm like. that kind of hits too close to home.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Well, I know You Make It Easy, the one that was given to Jason Aldean. He did, because we were together when that happened. That one was about me. But the ones that I'm not going to ask, but I'm like, are Band-Aid on a Bullet Hole. And I don't know. I wrote the book.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
For sure. Cause there's a spot in there where it says like, she says I'm good at everything. And I literally, he is good at everything he does. He could have not ever touched a golf ball in his life, but hit a hole in one somehow.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Um, it's crazy that the Lord decides to give all the talents and things to one person. Like, can we share that? But, and then the one he just came out with that it's called, I guess, I think, I think that's what it's called. Um, there's a part in it that says you hate that when you're looking at me, see like you halfway see yourself. And I'm like, yeah, that could be.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
That's not going to happen. But I do think that like there is always like a person that. Kind of has half your soul in a way.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Yeah, like I feel like there's not anyone else that can handle the inner demons that we don't know what they are, but I feel like I feel them. And so definitely don't want to be with him. We don't want to be with each other, but I won't ever feel that way about anyone else.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Thank you. Well, it started from announcing that I had his baby. But after that, I just managers reached out and I had a different like a few different managers that would get ads for me and stuff. But in order to get the ads, I had to keep up an online presence. And so, I mean, I feel like my followers have been through all of it with me. I did not know how to keep some things personal back then.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Literally. I'm like, what was I thinking? But it's okay because that's part of the spiciness that I can somehow try to hide now. Um, but I mean, I would just share my life and, um, As a lot of people don't think that I'm authentic on there, I'm not going to hide anything. I'm an open book. Life is what it is. And if it happened, I'll admit to it.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Well, you share your story and they're like, oh, that's not true.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
You know, we could say a lot more. Yeah. And like I could even share a lot more of my story and I don't because it's like y'all ain't going to believe it anyway. That's why I don't even defend myself anymore. I'm like, you know what? Y'all are going to think what you think.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
but yeah that was definitely hard to get adjusted to was all of the hate um especially with like it and stuff I stopped reading in 2022 or three um no it was definitely 2022 and because I would spiral when I read it because it's just like it's a bunch of people who are just and by the way I blurp I bleep out
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And like, where's your time? Like. These people are like, oh, I don't have all the time. I'm like, clearly you have a lot of time to investigate and to like see if someone's breathing wrong or like. Yeah. Like literally. Because there's like going on social media and like commenting negative stuff on people's stuff. That's one thing.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
I'm like, I would never in my life see a video that I didn't like and comment something on it. I just scroll past it. I'm like, okay, whatever. Yeah. But then to start a page about someone. Mm-hmm. that I'm like, literally have no lives. And then like for these people to have husbands and kids.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Are you okay? Yeah. Like do your husbands know you're doing this? Yeah.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
I always have to tell myself that I'm like, Clearly they're not doing anything.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Oh no, it's still a private account. Oh, okay. Yeah. No, it's still no one's like actual.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
No, it's always like. There's one person that always uses the name Haley on there, but she's the one that if there's something good posted about me on the Internet, she's on there fighting like, oh, my gosh, you know, she did this. She did this.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Yeah. Well, at least, I mean, they clearly have nothing to live for. Yeah. So it's sad on their part.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Thank you. And everybody's like, I don't know about all of them. Okay. So some, but not.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
They look at the picture from like 2007. There's this one dang red carpet picture. I was not supposed to walk on the red carpet. I was going with him to get ready for it. And then his manager was like, Hey, she should walk with you. And I'm like, I look like a referee and a white and black striped jumpsuit, barely any makeup on back then. I didn't even know how to wear makeup. Yeah.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
my teeth were effed up. Like, yes, I got veneers. Um, and that basically did change my whole face. Like put veneers on that 2017 picture and it would be so much better regardless of being referee. Um,
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Well, we're going through some childhood trauma therapy right now. Oh, my God. What kind? EMDR. OK.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And I did not know how to put makeup on or smile. Like that was actually like aesthetically pleasing. It was back then when like you smile like goofy happy.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
That's the only difference. No, I haven't had anything. Oh yeah. If you type in our pictures, there are, Oh, there's Luke. There are some really cute ones that we have together that are like, okay, they are a really good looking couple.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Not that. But I'm like, can you at least, like, give me your sperm so that, like, I don't have multiple baby daddies? Literally. That's the hardest part about co-parenting, too, I think. Aw. It's just that it's, like, I want to go to have... Full half-brothers and sisters. Yeah. Or full brothers and sisters. Like, I could get past...
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Therapy has helped me, like, okay, no, like, you'll be fine if you have more kids. But it's just hard to think, like, and have to explain to Indigo why he has to leave and go somewhere else if other babies get to stay with me all the time. And that's, like, the hardest thing for me to think of. It's, like...
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
if it's that hard for me, like I don't want it to be even harder for him to be like, why don't they get to stay with you? Like, why do I have to leave type thing? Um, but also like, I love him so much and he's just so perfect. And he's my entire world that is there going to be another child that compares to that? Or if it's not his, um, am I even going to like it as much?
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
I was like, let me get some sessions in before I open my mouth.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Not because it's his, but like, that's because what I know, like is the way he is because he has such a mix of both of us.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And it's sweet. Like he's very wild and sassy and funny, but also like the sweetest kid in the entire world. And he's like the happiest boy in the entire world.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Because then it would just come out looking like him and then people would know.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
plastic surgery what have you had done so we can just get that off my lip I get my lips done which I hadn't even had my lips done for the past two years and then I recently got them done again um because I was like hey if they're gonna say I have fake lips I might as well get them and laugh I mean and who fucking cares yeah it's your face and then I get Botox to my forehead and that's it yeah yeah I can tell I'm sitting here looking at you and I don't see like
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
jaw surgeries or fucking cheek implants or anything crazy I've always had big cheeks and like in our photos together you can see that especially like the close-up one like yeah it's all cheeks same I've always had big cheeks I actually I think oh I'm not that not that close and like the angle with my nose I've never done anything to my nose I used to hate my nose but my mom would say I had my dad's nose so I would never change it
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
it's beautiful and sometimes I do wake up looking like an ogre in the morning and you can tell that I never did anything to it stop it stop it listen we all wake up looking like ogres in the morning I don't care who we are none of us fucking wake up looking gorgeous I mean I didn't know how to contour back then yeah I didn't even know how to put eyeliner on yeah so I was just rolling out with caking on foundation and putting powder on top of it and mascara and no lipstick
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
That, but also it's just like, it's crazy how they, even like me, my whole life, I'm like, you have to work for this stuff. Otherwise it'll come up later. And then you're like, oh, okay. So that's why I'm the way I am. But it's not bad. I mean, it is what it is, but I grew up in Florida and lived there for about nine years. And then I moved to Knoxville, Tennessee.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
We dated for almost two years. It'll be two years in May. Okay. So yes, we were only married. Well, we still are married technically. So nine months. Yeah. But so we started dating in May of. 2023. How'd you guys meet? We were at the ACMs. So I went with Whitney and Caden.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
It happened two years ago today. Oh my gosh. Are you serious? I posted a busted up picture on my face on my snap today.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Um, wreck pictures and it'll definitely come up. Cause I looked crazy.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Yeah. We were at a writer's round and I, um, I liked Caden a lot at the time.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
It's very great. Um, but I kind of like cut off like the whole situation at that time of like wanting to be with him, but it not working out. Um, but my, he, we were at the writer's round together and like, I'm really bad at just like saying no to things. But my friend was like, how about you take him home? And I was like, whatever, fine. So I was on my way taking him home and we got hit.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
We got smashed. Ended up in the hospital. But it was super sweet. I mean, he, like, prayed over us in the hospital as we were leaving. And, I mean, nothing happened between us after that except, well, I lied. Then we went to Texas, not as, like, a thing. We went to the ACMs, and Whitney invited me. Yeah. And so I went with Whitney and Kaden. Yeah.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And I'm like, that's what I said. I was like, who hasn't like, it's fine. Like, I don't care if someone slept with him before.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Cause she is very sweet hearted and I know she cares a lot.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Cause this is looks really serious. Um, a semi is semi ish. I guess it was like a, uh, it was a Penske truck. Hmm. And, um,
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
My mom had been married prior to, to me being born. And so I have a half brother, which I don't think of it as like a half, but, um, so we moved to Knoxville to be closer to him because that's where he lived and then lived there for, I guess, when did I move? I was 21. I had just turned 21 or 22 and then met someone and moved to Nashville. So I've been here for about eight years now.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Yeah, but it's probably on there. You type in face. Oh, I like that it came up when you. Oh, yeah. Look at that. It was like that for a while, too. I right here. They never said that if it was broken or not, but they thought my cheekbone was broken. But I had like this weird dent for like the longest time in my face, like when I would smile. And sometimes it actually still hurts.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
my face was like mainly the issue like I was bruised and everything all over but then Caden like really messed up his elbow and had stitches and stuff yeah but it definitely could have been a lot worse way worse right especially getting hit by a Penske truck that's crazy yeah they were like you guys should have been dead wow definitely should have but then there's of course people that thought I was drinking and driving but obviously I would have been arrested yeah Caden was definitely hammered yeah but he wasn't driving
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Yeah. And if people didn't tune in for the baby mama drama, this is definitely what they're coming for. But if anything has ever said on social media, if I post anything or if anyone's like, you know what? Like she's such a great person. There's going to be those people that comment back immediately within five seconds. And like, did you not hear that? She slept with her pastor on a mission trip.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And I shared it right after it happened because I don't even know how it got out. I guess one of, like, my friends had leaked it somewhere. Those aren't friends. Yeah. I don't even know who it was. But I know they're not in my life anymore. Yeah. They are. And I don't know. Like, there's certain people that I share certain details with, which, you know what? Like, it's not anything to hide.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
I shared... part of my response to it right after it happened, but then I got married and when these comments come up and people want me to talk about it, I just didn't think it was respectful to talk about when I'm married. Um, and I also didn't want to hurt his image even more either. Um, because yes, he, so long story short, I had been going to this church in Nashville since I lived here.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
So for a long time, um, and, um, I honestly should have left like a while ago because I was leading a small group and I got pregnant and they told me to step down because I had a baby. I was having a baby out of wedlock. And I ended up just, I did step down, but I took the small group outside of the church and they stayed with me. They were like, that's, BS, honestly, which it was.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
But I understand that you're held to a different standard, leading a small group, whatever. But I ended up going there, staying there for a long time. And a mission trip opportunity came up to go to Kenya. I was super back and forth about it, but I was excited about it. And I just felt like the devil was trying to make me not go just because it was out of my comfort zone.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
I didn't know anyone going on the trip. And then... Randomly, I always had this, like there's campus pastors and they're not the ones that like mainly speak, but they speak a few times a year. They come and give announcements on the stage. I randomly had one that would like randomly just like reply back to like my sermon post or like a biblical song or like whatever it is.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And I never thought anything of it. Like if he still had social media, I wish I could pull up those receipts where I didn't respond when he liked the story or whatever it was. But then he had reached out and was like, hey, I'm like actually the one
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
leading this trip and I was like oh okay like he seems pretty cool like maybe I should go and I feel like I know him since he is always on stage or doing whatever um so I didn't really know him and I was still super nervous to go it wasn't until like that week that we were leaving that I was like everyone else is getting their vaccines and all this stuff and I'm like eh whatever it'll work out
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
ended up going. Um, and I've always been one to like really read people. If someone's going through something, I feel like a weight on my chest. If I'm in Walmart, I'll have like a random like weight on my chest. And I'm like, someone in here is going through something. Cause like, I know how to separate it now where I used to not, I used to be like, okay, something's like going on.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Like, why do I have anxiety for no reason? But it's usually just someone else's weight. And I felt that. And we were all in a group chat. for the mission trip. But then like when we were in the group at the airport, I had mentioned how like, like the wifi sucks on planes. And like, we have like a 24 hour flight basically. And, um, I was hoping that the wifi didn't suck.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
But then when we got on the plane, he messaged me outside of the group and was like, Oh yeah, the wifi does suck. Ha ha. And I was like, that's weird. So it kind of threw me off a little bit, but then I kept feeling that weight. Once we got there, we all like split up into groups and all this stuff. And I was always in his group and, And so, I mean, I felt comfortable enough to ask.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
I was like, hey, I feel like you have a demon. Like, what's going on? And he was like, wait, what? And I was like, I don't know. I just like feel your vibes and I feel like there's something going on that you're not sharing. And he ended up telling me that he was going through a divorce and he was like, it's really hard because I can't be going through a divorce while being a pastor.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
I did. So I started going by Katie after I got saved. So I did it like Katie. I always say it's like a before Christ and then after Christ.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Like it's part of like our thing. Like we'll get fired, all this stuff. And I totally understood that. And I was like, well, you're still wearing your ring and all this stuff. And I hadn't gone through a divorce before at this time. Like I didn't, I thought it was kind of like cut and dry, like whatever that saying is, whatever. Um, and just thought,
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
okay they probably like signed papers because he had said they had papers that they had signed and like figured stuff out but that not all the details are figured out yet and he was still wearing his ring and I was and he was he basically said that he was still wearing his ring because the son that he took on the mission trip didn't know in this like he had a tradition to where each one of the kids got to go on a mission trip and this was his son's first time doing that and he didn't want to ruin the experience and
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
all very believable. Like I still believe a lot of it to this day. And so nothing happened on the trip. We did not sleep together on the trip. And technically in my mind, he was getting divorced or divorced. Didn't really know. Like he would show me messages. Like we started when we got home, we hung out and then
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
things kind of like progressed a little bit to where I was getting feelings for him just because to me it seemed like he was responsible and he had kids and like he kind of knew that life of like hey I love the Lord but like I'm going through a divorce but I also know like how to be around children um and I didn't really think that was like possible with other people I don't know I just didn't think anyone would be interested one in a single mom but also like love Jesus and
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
whatever so he would show me messages and stuff about like the divorce and from his wife I guess at the time about the divorce and like how he wasn't staying there and like he would move out but then like she had to get a job and all of this crazy stuff but I was seeing it so it was true like it was happening and
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And then he was on sabbatical at the time, and so he was away from the church, I guess like off, I think it was like a month and a half. And his sabbatical was about to end, and he was like, I'm going to go back, and I'm going to talk to the pastor there and meet with him and let him know what's going on and kind of like put my notice in.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And he was going back on a Monday, and his meeting was on a Wednesday. He had... gone in on that Monday and texted me and was like I feel like something like weird is going on and he asked me to meet today and he was completely thrown off guard because he thought this was just a meeting and not like he wasn't quitting on this day he was just going to see
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Yeah, well, I didn't change it that I only changed it legally like three years ago. OK, but also it was literally Katie, Katie Smith. And anytime I went anywhere, there was like 700,000 of them. Yeah. And that's kind of annoying. So now it's a little bit easier.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And I was like, okay, well, whatever happens, like, I mean, it's going to be fine regardless. Like, I'll be praying about it, but I was like, whatever you feel led to do, do it. Like, whatever it is. Like, I don't know all of the demons you're facing because clearly there was a lot more going on than what I was told.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Um, and at that time I lived in my old house and I had like a war room in there to where I would put all my prayers on the walls and stuff. And that was like all that that was room, that room was used for. And I even put on there like, Hey Lord, like if he's meant to be with his wife and they rekindle, like, that's amazing. Like let that happen and let me be fine with it. Like, let it be okay.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Like let whatever decision he needs to do, like let him do it. He texted me right after that meeting. And it was like this very like generic message that was like, unlike anything that he'd ever said. It was just like, I'm leaving for, I'm leaving for 30 to 60 days. I won't have my phone. I'm ending communication here.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And I was like, wait, what? And the crazier thing about it is that I responded and my message went through green. I was already blocked. So like out of like this whole time of like talking and like him talking to me about everything and like wanting a future with me, like all this crazy stuff.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Yeah. Not in Kenya. Okay. Like I really did at the time like him a lot. Yeah. And he was always talking about a future and like how like he wanted to start his own church that wasn't Religion like based, but like relationship based and just not like everyone can actually feel welcome to go. And so I waited a while because I was in. the dark really with, I didn't know what was going on.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
I was like, that message is weird, but like, where is he getting sent off to? Like, why are you going to be gone for 30 to 60 days or 30, 60 to 90 days actually. Um, so I waited and waited and waited. Nothing ever came by it. And then one day I remember I was sitting on my couch upstairs and And I was praying.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
I was like, Lord, like I literally like I'm sorry for asking for so many signs because that shows like weakness and me not fully trusting in you. And I was like, so whatever. Like, don't give me a sign. Then he FaceTimes me randomly. after I think probably a little over a month. And at first I didn't answer because I was like bawling my eyes out. I was like, Lord, what are you doing?
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And he was like, I only have like four minutes to talk. I'm at a rehab. They sent me here. I never sent you that text. Like the lead pastor sent it to you. They have your name blocked from any time like you text or email me, like you're not allowed to reach out. Um, they want me here to work on my marriage, like all this stuff. Um, I love you, whatever.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Like I won't be able to communicate again, but just like know that I love you. And I was like, okay, so there's that. Me thinking kind of like that was a sign, like it'll still work out because if he's telling me this, like what's actually going on.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Yeah. And we didn't have long to talk. Like I couldn't ask like, okay, like, so what's the plan here? Are you going back? Like, should I like peace out? Like, yeah, I can respect that. Like, be honest with me. So I waited again this time, like probably like a month and a half. And then my family had come in town for Thanksgiving that I was hosting. And I got this like very
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
an email sent from my wife and you can tell because he had a new email and it was him and his wife's name at gmail.com. And I could tell that it was just like, I'm so sorry for everything. Like not to me, I'm so sorry to my wife and to the church, like of everything that I ever did. Like I shouldn't have hurt them that way. Like don't reach out again. Don't reach, like don't do anything.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
My dad passed when I was four. And so they weren't together, though. They were already divorced. And I found out she says that I found out like. soon after but I'm pretty sure I found out a few years later um but yeah I was just raised by a single mom and we've always had a really good relationship um she actually lives about 10 minutes from me so we have a good relationship now um
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Don't like mention anything about me. This was all a mistake, like very cut and dry. And then I honestly never heard from him again after that. So it was, like, very strange. Because, like, part of me was like, was he lying the whole time? And then, like, got caught in it.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
It was insane. Because the church started hating me. And I was like...
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And I'm like, y'all should have seen if there were issues, like mental issues going on with him before this. Because they had mentioned that like, oh, Drew had just been through a lot and like we didn't like know what he was going through. And I'm like, y'all were walking with him every day. Y'all should have been mentors.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Y'all should have been helping him and guiding him and like leading him in the right path.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Like what? I'm sorry. There's a disconnect there, but also. someone should have kept me in the loop here. Right. Like, Hey, I'm still married. I'm going to work on my marriage or like, I'm actually, I was like, all he could have said is I was going through a divorce, but then I was led to stay with my family and rekindle that.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
That would have been great. Cause I was also praying for that. It's the whole time that I was kind of like in the dark. I was praying that if he decided to go back to his wife, that like his kids wouldn't have trauma from this. Like I was praying for his kids and like, there was like a misconception. People are like, well, She said that he got kicked out of the church because his son was gay.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And I'm like, first of all, I never said that. People take whatever they want and they run with it. I was saying that He wanted to leave the church anyway because someone on staff there did have a child. And I didn't want to say his or her or anything just because I didn't want people to find out who it was and then them get them meet out them basically.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And so I said someone else there had been a pastor and had a child that could have been gay. And that's fine. But he was telling me that he didn't appreciate that because they didn't get to preach as much because of that situation. It looked like it was frowned upon. And I didn't believe in that either. I was like, no, that sucks. That's wrong.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And he was going to leave anyway before he even met me or just because I wasn't the deciding factor on him getting divorced. When we met, he told me he was going through a divorce.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Yeah. And so... I believe that he was going through it, but I mean, I also think that he should have said, hey, I'm going to work this out with her. Yeah. Like, sayonara. Yeah. But it didn't work out that way, and I think that they were still together, I would assume. Yeah. I hope so, at least, that not all of that was for nothing. Yeah. I hope that it was stronger and better than ever, but...
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
We've been through some rough patches, but other than that, it's just been me and her and my aunt and my nana. So they still live... Well, my aunt's been stationed in the Navy in different places. So where I grew up in Key West, she moved from there. So that was like my happy place, like my home.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And it's like... Like, clearly she has something for pastors. And I'm like, okay, well, maybe... I don't know. Maybe I did.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
There was something going on that he wasn't telling me. Clearly I was not... I wasn't getting told a lot. Yeah, definitely a lot before I even realized that I was in the dark.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
are signs and that if I didn't change it or if I didn't fix it, it would keep coming back around.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Yes. And I was like, okay, thankfully I realized that it was like, it was a me thing and that I needed to fix it because I was like, this could not happen again. I don't want to hurt anyone. Like I want to,
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
I haven't been back since she moved, but she lives in Hawaii now, but definitely always been surrounded by women, which...
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
He's not, but I still was still me not healing from my trauma.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
We met at the ACMs when I was with them. And it's funny because we met, um, the first time we met, we were downstairs at the hotel bar and I didn't think anything of it. Cause I was, I still liked Caden. Um, yeah.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Yeah. And I didn't know anything about him at all. Didn't know who he was because I never did TikTok back then. I still really don't even get on TikTok. My comments are off right now because people are rude. But I also just don't check it enough to do damage control. Right. And I don't want to have to worry about it.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
So when it got deleted, I was very excited for like those five hours that it was gone.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Yes. I was like, oh, finally not to worry about it. And I was like, wait, I can just turn my comments off and not even have to think about it.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Yeah, but then people can still look at the bottom and do review comments and then like
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
love that oh really oh yeah I didn't even know that they they're still like on there to review I'm like I don't want to see him because then I'm gonna end up getting feisty yeah because I'll get real feisty if I like something like irks me and I'm like you know what we're just gonna keep our mouth shut yeah but um I met him downstairs right after the ACM's
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And he asked me for my chapstick, which is, I didn't even, I didn't know who he was. And I was just like, okay.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Yeah. I didn't even know. I was just like, okay. So we started talking, um, I don't know. We talked like a lot that night, but I still didn't think anything of it because we were going to one of the well-known saloons over there right after. And so I was going with Caden and Whitney and then they were doing their own thing. They were...
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
She was actually with Montana Boys that night and wanted me to be with them. And I was like, absolutely not. And then Kayden was with someone else.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Yeah, I didn't want to go back to their place that they were staying. I was just like, I'm not... I'm not feeling that. So I tried to go back in our hotel, but Caden was occupying the room, couldn't get in, didn't have a key. And it was a lot. And so I don't remember how, but somehow I stayed in Luke's room with him and his friend Jackson. And we didn't even really like talk that night.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
I was just telling them like what my situation was. I was like, I didn't want to go sleep with some random dude. I don't know. And then Caden's doing Lord knows what in our room. And so I stayed in their room. The next morning we had early flights. So the next morning I left my boots that I was wearing in their room. And because we didn't even really talk.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
I just kind of like up and left like, hey, thanks for letting me sleep in here. Basically saved my life because where else was I going to sleep that night? Yeah. And I was going to like leave the hotel room. I didn't even have Luke's number. And he had had like left my little boots by my hotel room door. And first of all, that never happens to me. People are just rude.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And they would have just left him there when they were checking out too. But he like left my boots by the door and I was like, wow, that was nice. So then me and Whitney walked over to Cheesecake Factory before we had to leave. And I was like, you know what? Luke's actually pretty cute. And she was like, went and snapped him. She was like, Katie thinks you're cute.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
I think that's where a lot of my independence comes from is having to be the man in my life. No, it also comes from like where I have issues where I'm too independent and I can't have that codependency. I'm just very much like if I don't do it, it's not going to get done type mindset.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And then he responded back and was like, give me her number now. and so it went from there we started talking and a week later he flew to nashville was supposed to stay for two days and stayed for two weeks um and then went back to the tack house told him that he was leaving and then a few days later moved to nashville and in with me yeah and
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Oh, yeah. He was absolutely amazing with Indigo. Just the best. And I mean, I took a lot of security in that, too, just because being a single mom, I feel like it's hard to even be in a relationship because you don't know. how other people are going to be with kids. Right. Especially ones that are not their own.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And how it would be like, and look future wise. But he stepped into that role and was absolutely amazing. Indigo loves him. He loves Indigo. It was just, it meshed really well. And I loved Luke. I love Luke. I'll always love Luke. I don't know like what will happen, but, um, it was just a lot. So there was like throughout our relationship, I just had issues with certain things.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And like, we both did social media and that's basically, I feel like impossible for two people to both do that career and for it to be lasting.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
for me, like I had said earlier, like I want to be in a soft girl era and not feel like I have to take care of so much, but I was taking care of the bills and like all of the bills, except for half the rent, I would pay half the rent and then the rest. Um, And that's just also who I am as a person.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Like I offer to do it, but then it gets to a point where it's like, I don't want to have to hold everything together.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Take care of the chickens and do like manly things like that and lawn work and all that stuff. And then, I don't know. I just wanted to enter my softer era. Yeah. But I social media thing was kind of an ick for me. And that was my fault for getting into it, knowing that he did that. I wasn't looking at it like that. I was just I didn't care because I loved him so much.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
yes and I told him that so like the whole relationship like he didn't really understand why I had such an ick from it and neither did I because I was like I don't know like one I did I did not like being in videos that were planned like I didn't want to like act on social media I'm like very authentic and I don't want it to be like oh that looked bad let's redo it I'd rather just like kind of do it or hey I'm gonna build this act surprised when you see it type thing
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
I just didn't want to be part of that. And that like drove a wedge in our relationship of like, hey, you make your own content. I'm going to make my own. Don't involve me in it. Well, then he looks at that as not being supportive. And that was just like a huge thing for us was I wasn't going to be in his videos. What would his videos be about? Like views, likes, all this stuff.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And I really want to enter the soft era. And that's what we're working on right now. Yeah. Cause I can't do that.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And then it wasn't until I started therapy after I announced... Because I had always gone to therapy, but I was like, this time I need to work on me. I need to figure out why I am the way I am, why I can't be codependent, and why I just feel like I need control. And it wasn't until I started therapy that I was like, okay, the ick does come from my past trauma. And I didn't want...
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Luke to feel like get all of his validation from all these strangers and women on the internet and then turn into what it did in my prior relationship.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And secretly, I guess I was scared of that. Like, why are you seeking so much validation from all these people when I'm right here? And then it gets to where the whole thing, like what my therapist says is that I never felt like I was enough. And so I didn't want it to turn into that. And then guys hurt so much different. Once they're hurt once, they kind of build up a wall.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
So we had already announced that we were getting divorced. I was like, hey, let's work on things.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Well, we had talked about it multiple times because I would bring it up. I'm a runner. And I would if something happened to me, it's like, OK, well, I won't have my peace unless I'm alone. And that's like that. It's the frickin trauma of being independent, like nothing bad will happen if I'm by myself.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Thank you. Yeah. Well, I wish I would have had a little bit sooner, but I told him, I was like, I'm glad it happened the way it did though, because I wouldn't have known that I needed to work on myself. I wouldn't have known that why I'm too independent with the family situation that happened, but also with Morgan. Um,
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And I wouldn't know, like, why I hated social media so much and, like, why, like, all of this tied together. It's like you didn't think I was supportive. I could have been a better wife. But with the social media stuff, how can I, like, be attracted to you if I don't see you as manly type thing with, like, the social media?
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And it was stuff that easily could have been worked out if we both – knew where our issues stemmed from and I was like I'm getting to the root of this stuff like let's work it out like I didn't want you seeking validation and that's the only reason I thought it was icky And I wanted to be able to be in a softer area instead of being like the head of the household.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
But after I announced it, he said that I disposed of him too easily and that he had never felt supported. So like he put up a wall. And so then it's been like me fighting for a marriage and going through like the therapy. And he was like, forgive me if I never think that you'll heal or saying that like the Lord can't work miracles and stuff.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And I'm like, you can't be on social media talking about like being a Christian and like doing all this stuff for your videos and for your views if you're not living it out. So I was like, you need to be real with this.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Like we can make it work and be each other's biggest supporters and cheerleaders or it's toxic and there's nothing in between because you can't keep me back and forth of like, hey, you see me at the gym and you like want to hug and like be all nice and like. randomly texts me about all this stuff and then when I'm like hey come over or let's work on this like let's do this let's do that nothing
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And so it's been, even now, very in between where it's like, hey, we either go through with a divorce or we work it out. And the ball's in your court. I was like, I was paying for an attorney anyway, but I'm not paying for divorce for a marriage that I've been fighting for. So if you wanted to get divorced, you can take it over.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Yeah. I don't want that to happen either. So it's like at this point where it's just hard because now I'm like, is he just going to cut off and not? If he comes back and then we end up working it out, is there going to be a cutoff point to where? He just leaves and it's fine. And I'm going to think like, okay, well, all these times I was having panic attacks, like where were you type thing.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
So I'm also scared, but it's something that, I mean, we signed up for this. We made a covenant. Yeah. It is what it is. We should be fighting for it. And I wanted him to be like, hey, we're not going to try to make it work. We are going to make it work. And that let me down when that didn't happen. But I was like, OK, I'm not going to let my trauma affect that. I'm still going to attempt to fight.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
But if he doesn't want to fight, then I'm going to let it go. So I'm still very much in between with that. I'll be fine on my own. I know I will. I always have been. Yeah. But I'm also going to fight for a marriage that I signed up for.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Yeah. I'm trying to get him to that point of like, Hey, I'm not going to force you to go, but like, just come. Yeah. Because my therapist has seen the worst of me and she's seen the issues that I know I need to work on before when we were going through our issues.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
I knew there was things I needed to work on, but I didn't know how to work on being a more supportive wife and being more affectionate for him.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
But now I'm like, I want to love you, right? And I want to do this and I want to better myself. Like, I know that I'm capable of it and I want you, I want to establish roles in our marriage so that it can work out. Like, you be the man and I actually be... a little bit softer.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
So, okay. Okay. Fair. He's going to be 23 next month. So there is a seven year age gap, but he's very mature for his age. And I mean, if I can own up to all the issues that I've had and needing to be in control and just not being supportive of him doing social media for a living, like,
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
a lot of people get through much worse yeah and so it's just having to fight for it yeah fighting for it takes work your breakup wasn't scandalous you know the internet tries to make it seem like it's like this big huge like oh my gosh and this wow moment someone must have cheated or she's seeing someone new and I'm like I'm married I'm not seeing someone new thank you
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Yeah. So I would have never seen those issues within myself. Like I would have gone to therapy, but anytime I'd gone to therapy before it was very like situational, like, Hey, this is what's going on now. Or like, and so when I went, I was like, we're not going to talk about like Luke right now. We're not going to talk about anything else.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Let's get to the root of all these issues and then we can try to talk about it.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
This generational curse is not going to keep going. We're stopping it now.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
I'm proud of you. Because it's definitely taught me things about myself, and I'm like, okay, that stuff we can veto. I don't want to carry that from – the other generations. Like I want to break that cycle and be able to let someone take care of me or like have decisions made together and it not just be like, okay, I'm the man here.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Yes. I love them with everything in me. Right before I came here, actually, I was giving them all their mealworms and just hand feeding them and, you know, just. Being a mom because I dropped Indigo off right before that. So it's like, OK, well, what else am I going to do? I have to be a mom somehow if he's not here.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
They really do just bring all the joy that, I mean, I don't know. I would love to have more kids. Um, beforehand I was a little bit scarred by that.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
idea just because of like what i went through with pregnancy and then like the whole co-parenting thing but i want more kids i've always desired more kids um but if not and if it's just me and indigo and animals that's great too um i think you'll have more babies i hope so yeah because he's like in the phase now towards like okay he'd be fine if i had another baby now um how old is he now he's four and a half okay yeah
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
He's going to have his Indy 500 birthday in July. Oh, I love that. So I'm super excited about that. But other than that, you know, just still. volunteering and doing social media and hope to start my own business.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Yeah. Um, so I work for a nonprofit called youth for Christ and I have for three years and there's different branches of it under one big umbrella. Um, and there's, like, one where you work with teen moms. There's just, like, mostly, like, low-income families, and then there's a juvenile justice ministry, and I work in the juvenile justice ministry.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
So I go to – I used to go to a juvenile, like, all the time, and then that got taken over after I got in my rec. And so once I kind of saw that, how good the person that came in was at that, I was like, you know what? Like, I don't need to be in that –
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
juvenile anymore she's got that taken care of so now I go to a prison that's in Murfreesboro and a lot of people think that kids can't be in prison like they think it's like still like a juvenile but this one's just like actual cells and like strictness and stuff but it's ages 13 to 17 but the girl I work with in there she's 13 and so I see her on Mondays and then on Wednesdays I go to an alternative learning school and
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And so it's just basically like a lot of people don't know what an ALC is. And it's just like basically when you've either fought too much or got in trouble or there's drugs involved, you get kicked out and you have to go to a different, stricter school with no freedom.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
program for teenagers like any like they really don't there's nothing out here especially for like mental health or like anything not at all they just don't even care no they kids can be showing so many signs yeah and that's what leads to all this other stuff that's such like a controversy in the world today yeah it's like there's so many signs and i feel like mental health if that was actually taken care of yes all of this would be alleviated because like yes yes you can come from bad homes and
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
like the system can fail you, but like if at least the schools were more involved with mental health, then they could get through what they were going through. Absolutely. No one cares enough to even do that. That's what kind of where we step in as to where it's like, Hey, I'm not a therapist, but I mean, I did go to school for psychology, but like I,
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
want to be able to be there for you you can tell me anything you can vent to me i can talk to you about whatever it is and get beyond a surface level with you like a mentor yes you can talk to me about anything and no one else is going to help so at least we let them like be kids like we play a game with them yeah we make bracelets we do all that stuff um
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
She would love it too. Cause I mean the prison's so much different than the alternative learning school, which I take snacks in there and hang out with her and stuff. It depends if people are coming in or going out, but there's one girl that's consistently in there because she got arrested for first degree murder. But at a young age, it was a tough scenario. So we're praying for the best.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
all of that. But at least while we're in there, she's getting loved on and knowing that she's worth it and that her future can be so much more than what happened when she was 10.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And even at the alternative learning school, they're just, they're sassy for a reason. They all have crazy upbringings and it's like, Hey, for at least this hour and a half, like be a kid. Talk to me about what you want to like, tell me what you're stressed about. Let's make bracelets. Let's eat snacks and just be girls.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
a girly pop time I love your heart it's really cool I love all that you pour into the world and it's all going to come back to you I love them yeah even if it's hard to get through life the way it is like right now like it just it helps being with them
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
At Jombo. I'm KT on Instagram. And I think it's kind of the same. I don't really post on TikTok anymore, but same on Snapchat and TikTok.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Don't let them. There are a lot of good. Yeah. There's a lot of good. There's more good than there is bad.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Yeah, it's always been really solid. So I didn't grow up necessarily in church. It was more of like a holiday-ish type. I always say like the Christmas family, but it was like Easter, Christmas, whatever. And then when I moved to Tennessee, I was around people more that talked about it, even like in fifth grade. Like a friend was like, oh, I got saved. And then I was like, oh, how do I do that?
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
So like when she mentioned, she was like, oh, you just have to like say a prayer. I like did it in the car one day after school, but it didn't really mean anything. And then I would go to summer camps and stuff. Cause my mom worked full time. So I would go to all the summer camps, but I went to like Baptist church where I'd literally fall asleep.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And then in eighth grade, I met someone on my softball team and she took me to like this overnight, super fun, like camping trip. And that's, like, where it really started. I was like, I like this a lot. So I started going to church with her. And it was all the time. Like, Sundays, Wednesdays, all the things. And we...
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
it was a very close youth group to where we were always at the youth pastor and his family's house. Um, I had a best friend that went through like, she had a single mom too, but it was like a little bit more rough. So she stayed with the youth pastor a lot. And, um, I ended up staying there a lot with her, um, just to, you know, do life. And it was a lot of fun. Um, but after about
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
A year of going, maybe it was, I don't know it. I was around so often that felt like five years that I was there, but, um, After some time passed, the youth pastor that I looked at as a father figure sexually abused me. And that was a lot to go through because that happened for about a year.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
And when I had told one of my other best friends, not the one that lived with them, after a little bit, she ended up telling her school counselor that And then like DCS got involved and it was just like a whole crap show that had happened.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
I'm so sorry that happened. It's okay. It was definitely a lot. So I became homeschooled for a year because I loved that church. It was like my family.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
That and then they blamed it on me. No. Yeah. They were like, you're a homewrecker, all this stuff. When I was literally 13, I didn't like know what was going on. So I couldn't go back to that church. Of course you got fired, but it was still like, I'm being looked at the way I am. So that's why I was homeschooled is because it was just like this huge thing around it.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
it was definitely hard to walk through, but like in that, cause like, I also say like, I'm not religious, but I have a relationship with the Lord because Christians have such a cloud of hypocrisy like around them. And I don't want to meet someone and then think that I'm automatically like that.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
Because there's just so many instances where I'm like, yes, certain things are in the Bible, but I'm not going to judge you for what you do. Like, I don't care what you do as long as you're not hurting other people. It's not my place to judge. Um, And if all sins are counted equally, then I'm like. we're all weighing against each other here and there's no reason to.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
But in that time, I kind of just like really learned that church hurt comes from people and not from the Lord. It's the people that have the higher powers or so they think, and then they kind of ruin that perception of it. So it wasn't the Lord that did that to me, but we're supposed to be the church. It's not the church that did it, but everyone around it, so.
Dumb Blonde
KT Smith: Breakups & Blessings
I definitely battled with it. I definitely went into a dark period and I mean, that trauma still somewhat carries with me with like my sleep schedule and stuff. Like he would drive by even after that happened. He would work night shifts. He worked as a youth pastor, but also had an actual job. And he worked night shifts at a company that wasn't far away from where I lived.