Jordan Schlansky

I can't wait to see you guys use that.

I can't wait to see you guys use that.

Yeah, it is. Mine's a little different. I use a torch, so I don't have a big furnace of glass. I have a torch that I use, and then I get these glass tubes in four-foot lengths, and then I'll create stuff out of that. So I don't have a big furnace that I pull globs of glass out of. Well, you know what?

Yeah, it is. Mine's a little different. I use a torch, so I don't have a big furnace of glass. I have a torch that I use, and then I get these glass tubes in four-foot lengths, and then I'll create stuff out of that. So I don't have a big furnace that I pull globs of glass out of. Well, you know what?

I appreciate that.

I appreciate that.

I love your take on that.

I love your take on that.

It's called Apex Design Glass. So I made that name when I was in high school for a web design business I was doing. And then I just kept it through my glassblowing business as well.

It's called Apex Design Glass. So I made that name when I was in high school for a web design business I was doing. And then I just kept it through my glassblowing business as well.

Yeah, if you look up Apix Design, then yeah, I got a website, I got an Instagram. I have a good little following of people who like my glass, so it's easy to find it.

Yeah, if you look up Apix Design, then yeah, I got a website, I got an Instagram. I have a good little following of people who like my glass, so it's easy to find it.

I'm in Vacaville, California, so near Sacramento, Napa Valley area. Oh, okay.

I'm in Vacaville, California, so near Sacramento, Napa Valley area. Oh, okay.

I don't want to keep saying bongs. I actually sent you guys a gift. What?

I don't want to keep saying bongs. I actually sent you guys a gift. What?

I'm a glassblower, a glass artist. So I work with, these are glass lays. So I work with glass tubing and glass rods and I create stuff out of glass.

I'm a glassblower, a glass artist. So I work with, these are glass lays. So I work with glass tubing and glass rods and I create stuff out of glass.

Yeah, this is a scientific glassware. So like you'd find in really nice, you know, Pyrex glass. Yeah. So this can be used for, you know, it can go in the dishwasher. It's not sensitive to heat. So you can put hot stuff in there. No problem. This is extraordinary.

Yeah, this is a scientific glassware. So like you'd find in really nice, you know, Pyrex glass. Yeah. So this can be used for, you know, it can go in the dishwasher. It's not sensitive to heat. So you can put hot stuff in there. No problem. This is extraordinary.

Which is a blue. No problem. I'm glad I could get you guys some stuff. Once I heard I was going to be on here, I really wanted to get something made for you guys.

Which is a blue. No problem. I'm glad I could get you guys some stuff. Once I heard I was going to be on here, I really wanted to get something made for you guys.

Well, I mean, I got told on Thursday that you guys wanted me to be on here. And then by Saturday, I was finishing it up. And then Sunday, I did the sandblasting and I sent it out on Monday. Oh, my God. If I'm really, you know, really want to get something done, I can do it pretty quick.

Well, I mean, I got told on Thursday that you guys wanted me to be on here. And then by Saturday, I was finishing it up. And then Sunday, I did the sandblasting and I sent it out on Monday. Oh, my God. If I'm really, you know, really want to get something done, I can do it pretty quick.

My main product that I make is water pipes. So I make bongs, basically. I see them back there. Look at those.

My main product that I make is water pipes. So I make bongs, basically. I see them back there. Look at those.

um and uh we're very proud of this and we're proud of you proud to have you as a fan really hey thank you very much and uh yeah i had one quick question i was curious you know uh as a celebrity um i'll handle you know you um like when i get home i i like to do stuff around the house so like i'll help my wife doing stuff or i'll you know work on the backyard yep

um and uh we're very proud of this and we're proud of you proud to have you as a fan really hey thank you very much and uh yeah i had one quick question i was curious you know uh as a celebrity um i'll handle you know you um like when i get home i i like to do stuff around the house so like i'll help my wife doing stuff or i'll you know work on the backyard yep

And I was curious, as a celebrity, is there something that you go home and your wife's like, I want these photos hung up on the wall? Like, what do you do when you get home and you're asked to do something? Do you just call someone or do you take charge of doing stuff like that?

And I was curious, as a celebrity, is there something that you go home and your wife's like, I want these photos hung up on the wall? Like, what do you do when you get home and you're asked to do something? Do you just call someone or do you take charge of doing stuff like that?

Okay, awesome. Yeah, that's what I wanted to hear. I was curious what you, you know, if you called like a butler to come help you or something.

Okay, awesome. Yeah, that's what I wanted to hear. I was curious what you, you know, if you called like a butler to come help you or something.

I started in high school, so I feel like everyone in high school kind of wanted or needed a bong. And I liked making things, so that drew me to it. I originally started, I wanted to do welding, but it was a little complicated, I feel like, so I went into glassblowing, which was even more complicated. Yeah.

I started in high school, so I feel like everyone in high school kind of wanted or needed a bong. And I liked making things, so that drew me to it. I originally started, I wanted to do welding, but it was a little complicated, I feel like, so I went into glassblowing, which was even more complicated. Yeah.

They're encouraging this use of artificial colors as those people that wrote those letters to General Mills did.

They're encouraging this use of artificial colors as those people that wrote those letters to General Mills did.

Yeah, I actually feel wasteful when I throw away half my marshmallows. It's good to know that you would have saved them for me. Can you save them for me? You know what? You can buy your own marshmallows. It's ridiculous to suggest that I would save them and transport them to you. You want some Froot Loops? Yeah. Let me try the Froot Loops. Take a look.

Yeah, I actually feel wasteful when I throw away half my marshmallows. It's good to know that you would have saved them for me. Can you save them for me? You know what? You can buy your own marshmallows. It's ridiculous to suggest that I would save them and transport them to you. You want some Froot Loops? Yeah. Let me try the Froot Loops. Take a look.

I'm not completely convinced that we have a show. I feel like when most people get a show, there's some kind of feeling of accomplishment. Will I be financially compensated for this? We'll talk about that.

I'm not completely convinced that we have a show. I feel like when most people get a show, there's some kind of feeling of accomplishment. Will I be financially compensated for this? We'll talk about that.

Take a look at the British Froot Loops and understand that they taste the same.

Take a look at the British Froot Loops and understand that they taste the same.

That was- I found them in your office. Yeah, in 2008. Okay, so what happened? Shot in 2007, by the way, aired in early 2008. Okay, I'm a good driver.

That was- I found them in your office. Yeah, in 2008. Okay, so what happened? Shot in 2007, by the way, aired in early 2008. Okay, I'm a good driver.

It really is the same. The only difference being that some men kill people and some men eat cereal. You say tomato, I say tomato.

It really is the same. The only difference being that some men kill people and some men eat cereal. You say tomato, I say tomato.

You can eat your soy protein, impervious to any criticism, while I'll consume high-quality whey protein, and once every three years, I'll have some lucky charms.

You can eat your soy protein, impervious to any criticism, while I'll consume high-quality whey protein, and once every three years, I'll have some lucky charms.

Well, the mere fact that people approach and oftentimes want a photo or a selfie already tells me that they're appreciative of the work that I guess you and I do together, the artistic work, our contribution.

Well, the mere fact that people approach and oftentimes want a photo or a selfie already tells me that they're appreciative of the work that I guess you and I do together, the artistic work, our contribution.

Yes, they are.

Yes, they are.

I can't recall any questions about you in particular. Oh, really?

I can't recall any questions about you in particular. Oh, really?

I get questions about myself, but that's my own experience. You might get questions about you and not me.

I get questions about myself, but that's my own experience. You might get questions about you and not me.

Generally, it comes from Conan. No one else asked me what I do. It's a fascination of yours.

Generally, it comes from Conan. No one else asked me what I do. It's a fascination of yours.

Yeah. Nevertheless, I believe that artistic contribution should be compensated.

Yeah. Nevertheless, I believe that artistic contribution should be compensated.

I'm talking about in when I'm finally engaged by Sirius and given a contract, I expect to be referred to as the artist in parentheses. That's generally how these things work. Are you an artist?

I'm talking about in when I'm finally engaged by Sirius and given a contract, I expect to be referred to as the artist in parentheses. That's generally how these things work. Are you an artist?

I think my artistic services should be adequately compensated.

I think my artistic services should be adequately compensated.

You don't like dogs? I'm not responsible for the U.S. financial system and the business model that exists where if you work, you get paid for that work. I didn't invent that, but nevertheless, that's where we are. Your eyes are crazy again. I'm just going through life in this society like everyone else.

You don't like dogs? I'm not responsible for the U.S. financial system and the business model that exists where if you work, you get paid for that work. I didn't invent that, but nevertheless, that's where we are. Your eyes are crazy again. I'm just going through life in this society like everyone else.

These are my human expressions. I did not craft this. I didn't ask for this body. I was given this musculature.

These are my human expressions. I did not craft this. I didn't ask for this body. I was given this musculature.

I was given this facial structure, and that's the way my facial structure reacts to any number of stimuli. But you could work on it.

I was given this facial structure, and that's the way my facial structure reacts to any number of stimuli. But you could work on it.

No, I have not worked on trying to have a regular smile.

No, I have not worked on trying to have a regular smile.

So what's your specific complaint right now? What's your grievance? That my smile is aesthetically displeasing?

So what's your specific complaint right now? What's your grievance? That my smile is aesthetically displeasing?

That will make you more comfortable for me to have a different smile. I guess I could consider it.

That will make you more comfortable for me to have a different smile. I guess I could consider it.

Oh, yes. Well, you know, this is a complex question.

Oh, yes. Well, you know, this is a complex question.

Well, primarily I like to lift heavy objects. I believe in resistance training, also known as strength training. I stress my muscles beyond their capacity to prompt them to grow larger and stronger.

Well, primarily I like to lift heavy objects. I believe in resistance training, also known as strength training. I stress my muscles beyond their capacity to prompt them to grow larger and stronger.

I don't know if everybody knows you take that for granted because you have high power trainers. The point is, if you don't stress your muscle, you have to work out to failure. OK, you have to work out until you can't lift another rep. Buddy, you're there.

I don't know if everybody knows you take that for granted because you have high power trainers. The point is, if you don't stress your muscle, you have to work out to failure. OK, you have to work out until you can't lift another rep. Buddy, you're there.

Well... Be honest.

Well... Be honest.

First of all, we need to be relative. We need to be relative to your age. OK, I'm not going to assess you as if you were a 20 year old. Do you look as good as a 20 year old? No, of course not. You wouldn't expect to. So there's that. So you've got, you know, age and, you know, there are certain things. Look, you're a nice guy. I mean, what I'm saying is what I'm saying.

First of all, we need to be relative. We need to be relative to your age. OK, I'm not going to assess you as if you were a 20 year old. Do you look as good as a 20 year old? No, of course not. You wouldn't expect to. So there's that. So you've got, you know, age and, you know, there are certain things. Look, you're a nice guy. I mean, what I'm saying is what I'm saying.

Look, look, they're not. Wait a minute. I'm a nice guy. Physically speaking, you have strengths. OK, what's your posture? And for a taller guy, you know what? Most people, when they hit puberty, people that are tall, they kind of developed a hunch stance because they're trying to, like, diminutize themselves because they feel a little.

Look, look, they're not. Wait a minute. I'm a nice guy. Physically speaking, you have strengths. OK, what's your posture? And for a taller guy, you know what? Most people, when they hit puberty, people that are tall, they kind of developed a hunch stance because they're trying to, like, diminutize themselves because they feel a little.

No, for a tall man, you're quite you are quite erect. You you stand with good posture.

No, for a tall man, you're quite you are quite erect. You you stand with good posture.

Well, I know that you work out because I know you and we it's come up in discussion. Yeah, sure. No, but when you look at me, when I look at you, be honest. Come on. You can tell I'm in pretty good shape. Who knows what you would look like if you didn't work out? So by that reckoning, I'm guessing that working out has certain benefits to your... You're talking about visually?

Well, I know that you work out because I know you and we it's come up in discussion. Yeah, sure. No, but when you look at me, when I look at you, be honest. Come on. You can tell I'm in pretty good shape. Who knows what you would look like if you didn't work out? So by that reckoning, I'm guessing that working out has certain benefits to your... You're talking about visually?

You want to know how you visually look? Yeah.

You want to know how you visually look? Yeah.

Well, look, a man is a complex sum of his parts and then some. I don't just dissect your physical appearance and separate it out from everything else. When you walk into a room, I say there's a man and he's got some strengths.

Well, look, a man is a complex sum of his parts and then some. I don't just dissect your physical appearance and separate it out from everything else. When you walk into a room, I say there's a man and he's got some strengths.

Well, I don't know what kind of feedback you're looking for. Do you want thin? Well, sure. I mean, you're not obese. So, you know, I mean... I've seen you different weights over the years. That's okay.

Well, I don't know what kind of feedback you're looking for. Do you want thin? Well, sure. I mean, you're not obese. So, you know, I mean... I've seen you different weights over the years. That's okay.

I mean, look, this is not late 2004, early 2005.

I mean, look, this is not late 2004, early 2005.

That's when I looked great? No, you had a good few years, even through 2007. Few years, few years.

That's when I looked great? No, you had a good few years, even through 2007. Few years, few years.

At your peak. Is this the lowest you've ever been?

At your peak. Is this the lowest you've ever been?

OK. Yeah. You're not. I mean, 60. Is that like a senior citizen? But by the strictest definition, I don't know when. When do you not have to take your shoes off at the airport? Sixty two. No, I'm just saying, like, I don't understand what's considered elderly, but you do not look elderly. Thank you. If people think 60 is elderly... And I'm pretty spry.

OK. Yeah. You're not. I mean, 60. Is that like a senior citizen? But by the strictest definition, I don't know when. When do you not have to take your shoes off at the airport? Sixty two. No, I'm just saying, like, I don't understand what's considered elderly, but you do not look elderly. Thank you. If people think 60 is elderly... And I'm pretty spry.

No, you do have muscles.

No, you do have muscles.

I could totally rip you apart. Yeah, even at your worst in 2000, you know, one, two...

I could totally rip you apart. Yeah, even at your worst in 2000, you know, one, two...

So when you say you had a bad year, like nutritionally speaking, what are we talking? Late night binges? Like what were you doing to gain that?

So when you say you had a bad year, like nutritionally speaking, what are we talking? Late night binges? Like what were you doing to gain that?

I'm just saying, how does it happen?

I'm just saying, how does it happen?

What I'm saying was it just that every meal was slightly bigger? Were you just eating late at night before being at rest? Yeah.

What I'm saying was it just that every meal was slightly bigger? Were you just eating late at night before being at rest? Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

Was it pork? size that got you?

Was it pork? size that got you?

I'm answering the question that was asked of me. You look better than you did back in the early 2000s. OK, thanks a lot.

I'm answering the question that was asked of me. You look better than you did back in the early 2000s. OK, thanks a lot.

By the way, I've deteriorated as well. I mean, I mean, I'm not talking about mentally.

By the way, I've deteriorated as well. I mean, I mean, I'm not talking about mentally.

Yes, I've deteriorated as well. I would expect you to deteriorate.

Yes, I've deteriorated as well. I would expect you to deteriorate.

We see the world through a subjective lens. You understand we consider a number of possibilities. You don't exist in a vacuum. Your physical appearance doesn't exist in a vacuum. When I look at you, I think of your life circumstance. I think of your aura. I think of so many things that are far more important than your physical shell. Physically, sure, you're deteriorating. As as as we all are.

We see the world through a subjective lens. You understand we consider a number of possibilities. You don't exist in a vacuum. Your physical appearance doesn't exist in a vacuum. When I look at you, I think of your life circumstance. I think of your aura. I think of so many things that are far more important than your physical shell. Physically, sure, you're deteriorating. As as as we all are.

And it will only get worse and not even in a linear scale. It will be exponential.

And it will only get worse and not even in a linear scale. It will be exponential.

The difference between 60 and 70 will be far more dramatic than the difference between 50.

The difference between 60 and 70 will be far more dramatic than the difference between 50.

What I'm saying, there'll be times when you look back on this video, for example, and you say, God, I was an Adonis back then. Look at me now. I'm saying this is from this point forward, as good as it's going to get for you. Now, sure, you can make certain improvements to your lifestyle, nutritionally speaking.

What I'm saying, there'll be times when you look back on this video, for example, and you say, God, I was an Adonis back then. Look at me now. I'm saying this is from this point forward, as good as it's going to get for you. Now, sure, you can make certain improvements to your lifestyle, nutritionally speaking.

You know what I'm saying? This is the beauty of the human experience. There's a rise and a fall. this is the period where, uh, look, I didn't make these rules of nature, but they, they exist. Your body is useless to human evolution. At this point, you, you, we know that you have value to us, but, uh, mother nature doesn't know this. Your, your genetic programming doesn't know this.

You know what I'm saying? This is the beauty of the human experience. There's a rise and a fall. this is the period where, uh, look, I didn't make these rules of nature, but they, they exist. Your body is useless to human evolution. At this point, you, you, we know that you have value to us, but, uh, mother nature doesn't know this. Your, your genetic programming doesn't know this.

You are as, as you know, potentially everyone in this room, a couple of very good looking men in here. Uh, you are deteriorating. You are, um, you are in the decline, the decrescendo, um, the plummet. Yeah.

You are as, as you know, potentially everyone in this room, a couple of very good looking men in here. Uh, you are deteriorating. You are, um, you are in the decline, the decrescendo, um, the plummet. Yeah.

Yeah, my pleasure. You see, I'm being prompted to be critical and then I will be criticized for being critical. What's worth mentioning is when people do decline, sometimes they decline in different ways. OK, we have different deficiencies. For whatever reason, your own particular deficiency was. somewhat unique among the people that I know. Sometimes I see people get bellies.

Yeah, my pleasure. You see, I'm being prompted to be critical and then I will be criticized for being critical. What's worth mentioning is when people do decline, sometimes they decline in different ways. OK, we have different deficiencies. For whatever reason, your own particular deficiency was. somewhat unique among the people that I know. Sometimes I see people get bellies.

I see people, you know, have lose muscle mass. You had a very specific deficiency. Your face and your body itself stretched horizontally. You widened your face, widened. I don't understand the mechanics of it.

I see people, you know, have lose muscle mass. You had a very specific deficiency. Your face and your body itself stretched horizontally. You widened your face, widened. I don't understand the mechanics of it.

I'm not aware of any alternatives to chocolate that have that brown appearance.

I'm not aware of any alternatives to chocolate that have that brown appearance.

Okay, so now, in case there was like an injection of human growth hormone to widen the bone structure of your jaw, I don't understand the mechanics of it. Look at my face now.

Okay, so now, in case there was like an injection of human growth hormone to widen the bone structure of your jaw, I don't understand the mechanics of it. Look at my face now.

That's the mini Moog. You see that growl? It's a growl.

That's the mini Moog. You see that growl? It's a growl.

Bob Moog. Yeah. Dutch name, of course, Mulch. Just like a stroopwafel. You are familiar with the Dutch treat stroopwafel, the O-O, stroop meaning syrup. No, I didn't know that. Wafel meaning waffles. Yeah, wafel is, of course, waffles.

Bob Moog. Yeah. Dutch name, of course, Mulch. Just like a stroopwafel. You are familiar with the Dutch treat stroopwafel, the O-O, stroop meaning syrup. No, I didn't know that. Wafel meaning waffles. Yeah, wafel is, of course, waffles.

It does. What type of protein is in that bar? A low quality protein like pea or soy or is it like a high quality whey only protein bar? I don't want to get into it. That's not what we're here to talk about. And what's the balance of protein to carbohydrates? Do you just shove something in your mouth because maybe your trainer recommended it or did they have it at your gym? I don't understand.

It does. What type of protein is in that bar? A low quality protein like pea or soy or is it like a high quality whey only protein bar? I don't want to get into it. That's not what we're here to talk about. And what's the balance of protein to carbohydrates? Do you just shove something in your mouth because maybe your trainer recommended it or did they have it at your gym? I don't understand.

You hear the growl of that Moog synthesizer, indicative of early 80s synthesizers. No, it's actually Moog. It's a Dutch name. It's actually pronounced Moog, if you really want to be accurate. All right.

You hear the growl of that Moog synthesizer, indicative of early 80s synthesizers. No, it's actually Moog. It's a Dutch name. It's actually pronounced Moog, if you really want to be accurate. All right.

Is this your art right now? What I'm saying is bullying someone. This is a slow burn. Why don't you go to go for like rapid fire laughs? We're here. People are driving to work. This is slow and steady.

Is this your art right now? What I'm saying is bullying someone. This is a slow burn. Why don't you go to go for like rapid fire laughs? We're here. People are driving to work. This is slow and steady.

Genetically modified?

Genetically modified?

Why don't you try like a Rise branded bar, which is just like 100% whey protein.

Why don't you try like a Rise branded bar, which is just like 100% whey protein.

Well, there are, like any human being, I'm not impervious to marketing efforts by various large corporations that produce processed food products. I have cravings like anyone else.

Well, there are, like any human being, I'm not impervious to marketing efforts by various large corporations that produce processed food products. I have cravings like anyone else.

I'm saying I have certain cravings. Candy is not a particular craving of mine. I would never eat a bar such as the one you're eating that's covered in a chocolate-like substance that smells like chocolate, looks like chocolate, but according to you, may not be chocolate. I don't have cravings for candy. You know, I'll have like a tiramisu. I'll have some ice cream.

I'm saying I have certain cravings. Candy is not a particular craving of mine. I would never eat a bar such as the one you're eating that's covered in a chocolate-like substance that smells like chocolate, looks like chocolate, but according to you, may not be chocolate. I don't have cravings for candy. You know, I'll have like a tiramisu. I'll have some ice cream.

I know a lot of people equate synthesizers with the late 80s sound, that is to say, bright and blaring. I'm talking specifically about 86, 87, and 88, the most horrible, arguably, year. But when you talk about early 80s, there's more of a buzzy synthesizer sound.

I know a lot of people equate synthesizers with the late 80s sound, that is to say, bright and blaring. I'm talking specifically about 86, 87, and 88, the most horrible, arguably, year. But when you talk about early 80s, there's more of a buzzy synthesizer sound.

Well, it's interesting that you bring that up. I would say once every three to four years, I'll get a craving for some commercial breakfast cereal, okay?

Well, it's interesting that you bring that up. I would say once every three to four years, I'll get a craving for some commercial breakfast cereal, okay?

Tell me what these are. First of all, I do not believe that any breakfast... Every breakfast cereal is healthy, okay? Even if they're marketed as such, even if they don't have added sugar. I believe the whole concept of extruding wheat or other grains is indigestible to the body, makes the body work hard.

Tell me what these are. First of all, I do not believe that any breakfast... Every breakfast cereal is healthy, okay? Even if they're marketed as such, even if they don't have added sugar. I believe the whole concept of extruding wheat or other grains is indigestible to the body, makes the body work hard.

Even a supposedly healthy cereal like Cheerios, which is marketed as having whole grains, I don't think is healthy for the human body. That's my own belief. I'm sorry if I get the show in trouble for saying so. Not at all.

Even a supposedly healthy cereal like Cheerios, which is marketed as having whole grains, I don't think is healthy for the human body. That's my own belief. I'm sorry if I get the show in trouble for saying so. Not at all.

If I'm going to fall off the wagon, understanding that I don't believe any of them are healthy, I'm going to go for the maximum impact, satiate my craving so that craving goes away and life storm it for another 30 years. three to four years.

If I'm going to fall off the wagon, understanding that I don't believe any of them are healthy, I'm going to go for the maximum impact, satiate my craving so that craving goes away and life storm it for another 30 years. three to four years.

OK, so, well, I made some new discoveries recently, but historically, I would say my holy grail, my guilty pleasure would have been like Froot Loops. Now, regarding Froot Loops, you have an American version of Froot Loops and you have a British version of Froot Loops.

OK, so, well, I made some new discoveries recently, but historically, I would say my holy grail, my guilty pleasure would have been like Froot Loops. Now, regarding Froot Loops, you have an American version of Froot Loops and you have a British version of Froot Loops.

Who says Toucan Sam isn't a lady. Sam is a gender neutral name. Very good. I like the way you've evolved. Go ahead. There are certain regulations in the European Union that prohibit the use of artificial colors, for example. So the Froot Loops in the UK have different colors. They're colored by natural products, turmeric, spinach, things like this.

Who says Toucan Sam isn't a lady. Sam is a gender neutral name. Very good. I like the way you've evolved. Go ahead. There are certain regulations in the European Union that prohibit the use of artificial colors, for example. So the Froot Loops in the UK have different colors. They're colored by natural products, turmeric, spinach, things like this.

And sure, the colors are a little more muted than the artificially colored product we get here in the United States, but that's a small price to pay. And furthermore, I found that the Froot Loops in the United States have a hydrogenated oil and the British ones do not. I've never had the pleasure of consuming the British ones.

And sure, the colors are a little more muted than the artificially colored product we get here in the United States, but that's a small price to pay. And furthermore, I found that the Froot Loops in the United States have a hydrogenated oil and the British ones do not. I've never had the pleasure of consuming the British ones.

Why are you shouting?

Why are you shouting?

This is my normal tonality. I don't think so. And by the way, we have a man, Eduardo, who can adjust the input level to compensate.

This is my normal tonality. I don't think so. And by the way, we have a man, Eduardo, who can adjust the input level to compensate.

Okay, I would like to try the British Fruit Loops. Nevertheless, Fruit Loops was always my holy grail. And I'll tell you something, not about Fruit Loops, but about Trix, which is a General Mills cereal, okay? So they also have artificial colors here. And a number of years ago, General Mills took the admirable stance and they said, we are going to phase out artificial colors in our cereal.

Okay, I would like to try the British Fruit Loops. Nevertheless, Fruit Loops was always my holy grail. And I'll tell you something, not about Fruit Loops, but about Trix, which is a General Mills cereal, okay? So they also have artificial colors here. And a number of years ago, General Mills took the admirable stance and they said, we are going to phase out artificial colors in our cereal.

And I said, finally, our country is moving forward. They listen to the consumer. The consumer votes with their dollar. Consumer trends show people want healthier. McDonald's offers salads now. So now finally, they're getting rid of artificial colors. And they did. And of course, the colors were now natural. They were a little more muted and the cereal tasted exactly the same.

And I said, finally, our country is moving forward. They listen to the consumer. The consumer votes with their dollar. Consumer trends show people want healthier. McDonald's offers salads now. So now finally, they're getting rid of artificial colors. And they did. And of course, the colors were now natural. They were a little more muted and the cereal tasted exactly the same.

And suddenly there was an angry letter writing campaign by Americans complaining about this change. People saying this is not the cereal I grew up with. I do not want my children having these disgusting colors. And I'm thinking to myself, you're blowing it. You're blowing it. We're finally moving forward as a nation. And you're you're you're saying the exact opposite of what you should say.

And suddenly there was an angry letter writing campaign by Americans complaining about this change. People saying this is not the cereal I grew up with. I do not want my children having these disgusting colors. And I'm thinking to myself, you're blowing it. You're blowing it. We're finally moving forward as a nation. And you're you're you're saying the exact opposite of what you should say.

People were so disappointed that Cheryl wasn't as bright as it used to be, tasting exactly the same. And you know what General Mills did? They said, sorry, we made a mistake. And they put the artificial colors back in. And that's regression. And I'm incredibly ashamed of this country's reaction to the naturally colored tricks.

People were so disappointed that Cheryl wasn't as bright as it used to be, tasting exactly the same. And you know what General Mills did? They said, sorry, we made a mistake. And they put the artificial colors back in. And that's regression. And I'm incredibly ashamed of this country's reaction to the naturally colored tricks.

OK, but recently I had one of my cravings that I wanted to satisfy and I was in the supermarket. So I went to the cereal aisle and I said, let me just take care of this, nip this in the bud and then it will disappear and I can eat normal, unprocessed foods for another three years. So I filled my basket with my Holy Grail Fruit Loops, and then I mixed it up a little bit.

OK, but recently I had one of my cravings that I wanted to satisfy and I was in the supermarket. So I went to the cereal aisle and I said, let me just take care of this, nip this in the bud and then it will disappear and I can eat normal, unprocessed foods for another three years. So I filled my basket with my Holy Grail Fruit Loops, and then I mixed it up a little bit.

I also did Golden Grams, which was also one that I have liked historically. And I went with a Lucky Charms, which is like a wild card, guilty pleasure, another one of those super sugary cereals. And then I went with Quaker Cereal Life. Life is not quite as sweet as some of the other ones.

I also did Golden Grams, which was also one that I have liked historically. And I went with a Lucky Charms, which is like a wild card, guilty pleasure, another one of those super sugary cereals. And then I went with Quaker Cereal Life. Life is not quite as sweet as some of the other ones.

the company just say life okay life cereal now i did some experimenting and i had some revelations about these cereals now as a grown man uh you know i change as i go through life and my reaction every few years is different than the previous occasion so i determined that while life i still enjoy the taste and it's lower sugar than the others um there was some digestive instability what did you get the runs

the company just say life okay life cereal now i did some experimenting and i had some revelations about these cereals now as a grown man uh you know i change as i go through life and my reaction every few years is different than the previous occasion so i determined that while life i still enjoy the taste and it's lower sugar than the others um there was some digestive instability what did you get the runs

Sometimes you feel stable in the gastrointestinal tract and sometimes you don't.

Sometimes you feel stable in the gastrointestinal tract and sometimes you don't.

There was no violent reaction. I'm aware of the subtleties of my body. You see, I look deep beneath the surface.

There was no violent reaction. I'm aware of the subtleties of my body. You see, I look deep beneath the surface.

If that's your face. I don't need a violent explosion to tell me something is wrong. I know I can detect subtleties in my body and my own digestion. Well, how subtle was it? You may not have even noticed it, but I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm not sitting, I'm not hanging out by your toilet.

If that's your face. I don't need a violent explosion to tell me something is wrong. I know I can detect subtleties in my body and my own digestion. Well, how subtle was it? You may not have even noticed it, but I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm not sitting, I'm not hanging out by your toilet.

I said there were digestive instabilities. Digestive instability usually means one thing. For you it does, because you're a man of extremes, okay? So you hear this and you imagine... You imagine a man on a toilet bowl, you know, beat red face, sweat flying off his body.

I said there were digestive instabilities. Digestive instability usually means one thing. For you it does, because you're a man of extremes, okay? So you hear this and you imagine... You imagine a man on a toilet bowl, you know, beat red face, sweat flying off his body.

What I'm telling you is, do you need to know this particulars? Isn't the fact that there's digestive instability already a red flag to stay away from life cereal? Again, no, no offense to the Quaker Road Company. This was only my company.

What I'm telling you is, do you need to know this particulars? Isn't the fact that there's digestive instability already a red flag to stay away from life cereal? Again, no, no offense to the Quaker Road Company. This was only my company.

What I'm saying is I prize my gastrointestinal stability. I like to have certain conditions. I like to feel empty, light, okay? Light on my feet. I don't want to be bloated.

What I'm saying is I prize my gastrointestinal stability. I like to have certain conditions. I like to feel empty, light, okay? Light on my feet. I don't want to be bloated.

There's a pressure. It's a subtle pressure. OK, you feel a pressure in your bowel. Yeah, sometimes. And it's very subtle. OK, it's not that subtle. So the problem is when you have when you have this pressure, it desensitizes the bowel to what normal pressure should feel like. Anyway, regardless, let's move on from that. So I eliminated.

There's a pressure. It's a subtle pressure. OK, you feel a pressure in your bowel. Yeah, sometimes. And it's very subtle. OK, it's not that subtle. So the problem is when you have when you have this pressure, it desensitizes the bowel to what normal pressure should feel like. Anyway, regardless, let's move on from that. So I eliminated.

In my case, there was some digestive instability.

In my case, there was some digestive instability.

An unstable, subtle pressure. OK, so I rejected life cereal from the running, although I did enjoy the taste. And there are some people that may be completely stable. I can't speak for your own experience. OK, so I put life aside. Now, Fruit Loops was not as great as I remembered it. In the end, I found it monotonous. The Fruit Loops, it was a one one tone.

An unstable, subtle pressure. OK, so I rejected life cereal from the running, although I did enjoy the taste. And there are some people that may be completely stable. I can't speak for your own experience. OK, so I put life aside. Now, Fruit Loops was not as great as I remembered it. In the end, I found it monotonous. The Fruit Loops, it was a one one tone.

And what really surprised me was fruit was Lucky Charms. Let me talk a little bit about luck.

And what really surprised me was fruit was Lucky Charms. Let me talk a little bit about luck.

Here's my take on Lucky Charms. OK, first of all, I remove half the marshmallows. I found that there are too many marshmallows as a stock. No, no, no. There's too many. No good thing.

Here's my take on Lucky Charms. OK, first of all, I remove half the marshmallows. I found that there are too many marshmallows as a stock. No, no, no. There's too many. No good thing.

Now, they are made with General Mills, and I recognize... Stop mentioning the names of the companies! I recognized that the flavor of the non-marshmallow part was very familiar to me. And then I realized they're Cheerios. They're Honey Nut Cheerios. They are sweetened Cheerios plus marshmallows. Same company, same ingredients of the non-marshmallow portion. You know what I'm saying?

Now, they are made with General Mills, and I recognize... Stop mentioning the names of the companies! I recognized that the flavor of the non-marshmallow part was very familiar to me. And then I realized they're Cheerios. They're Honey Nut Cheerios. They are sweetened Cheerios plus marshmallows. Same company, same ingredients of the non-marshmallow portion. You know what I'm saying?

You just blew the lid off this thing. Because I did. And if you remove half of the marshmallows and you eat Lucky Charms, you're eating Cheerios, sweetened Cheerios, plus some extra bonus marshmallows. Let me see this. Here we go. Lucky charms. All right. Here's lucky charms. Take out half the marshmallows.

You just blew the lid off this thing. Because I did. And if you remove half of the marshmallows and you eat Lucky Charms, you're eating Cheerios, sweetened Cheerios, plus some extra bonus marshmallows. Let me see this. Here we go. Lucky charms. All right. Here's lucky charms. Take out half the marshmallows.

And you know what? I spent no time on it. Yeah. And it's got something dirty in it, so everyone's going to remember it. Yeah, I feel mine is superior. Okay, but the point is, you're still bitter that you lost that Guinness contest. Yeah, yes.

And you know what? I spent no time on it. Yeah. And it's got something dirty in it, so everyone's going to remember it. Yeah, I feel mine is superior. Okay, but the point is, you're still bitter that you lost that Guinness contest. Yeah, yes.

Let's get out of here. There's nothing to eat.

Let's get out of here. There's nothing to eat.

No. My people fled in 1982. The line at Burger King was too long.

No. My people fled in 1982. The line at Burger King was too long.

Not at all. No, those were like massive battleships. Mm hmm. You know, you hit it with the champagne, they slide into the ocean, then they have a storied career on the high seas defending England or America or whatever country manufactured the ship. This, I don't know, this is the emission of a little gas, maybe from like a broken down machine.

Not at all. No, those were like massive battleships. Mm hmm. You know, you hit it with the champagne, they slide into the ocean, then they have a storied career on the high seas defending England or America or whatever country manufactured the ship. This, I don't know, this is the emission of a little gas, maybe from like a broken down machine.

We got to get out of here. Let's get to Brookline, Mass.

We got to get out of here. Let's get to Brookline, Mass.

They flew over on Aer Lingus. Aer Lingus, that'd be funny in a limerick. Also dirty. Hey, listen, I thought you did a good job with the ad overall. Thanks. This ad? Yeah.

They flew over on Aer Lingus. Aer Lingus, that'd be funny in a limerick. Also dirty. Hey, listen, I thought you did a good job with the ad overall. Thanks. This ad? Yeah.

Yeah, you did a fine job. We're going to take a little break. When we return, Jordan and I will have a deep philosophical discussion. Don't touch that dial. All right, I'm going to move on to our next segment. Conan and Jordan discuss a philosophical question. Frank, why don't you tell us what you had in mind here?

Yeah, you did a fine job. We're going to take a little break. When we return, Jordan and I will have a deep philosophical discussion. Don't touch that dial. All right, I'm going to move on to our next segment. Conan and Jordan discuss a philosophical question. Frank, why don't you tell us what you had in mind here?

Can I stop you before you get boring? Oh, wait, I'd need a time machine for that.

Can I stop you before you get boring? Oh, wait, I'd need a time machine for that.

I'd have to go back nine minutes ago to the start of your day.

I'd have to go back nine minutes ago to the start of your day.

Blammo! You just got blammoed. My question would be, is sports betting allowed? If sports betting allowed, then definitely. Let's have that. Let's go back in time. I could clean up. Then you make a lot of money. Then you go back further in time when land is really cheap. You go to Long Island and you say, hey there, 1680 farmer, what do you want for these nine acres on the ocean?

Blammo! You just got blammoed. My question would be, is sports betting allowed? If sports betting allowed, then definitely. Let's have that. Let's go back in time. I could clean up. Then you make a lot of money. Then you go back further in time when land is really cheap. You go to Long Island and you say, hey there, 1680 farmer, what do you want for these nine acres on the ocean?

These nine acres, why, I would wish to have $6. $6, eh? Here's $16.

These nine acres, why, I would wish to have $6. $6, eh? Here's $16.

Well, thank you.

Well, thank you.

Yep. That's what you would do.

Yep. That's what you would do.

I'd go to Ford's Theater and I'd say, hey, Abe, behind you. I'd save Abraham Lincoln's life.

I'd go to Ford's Theater and I'd say, hey, Abe, behind you. I'd save Abraham Lincoln's life.

I would go back in time.

I would go back in time.

I don't want to have just one.

I don't want to have just one.

Jurassic Park and I think they probably got it right so I don't need to see that and I wouldn't go to the Roman times because I saw Gladiator and I think that's a good I think most movies have pretty accurately depicted what those times were like and I think if I go back in time it's going to look like that only a little dirtier like people's togas will be dirty and I'll be like ah this sort of sucks so I don't want to see that so um nah I don't want to see that stuff I really just want to go to Ford Cedar and go hey Abe heads up

Jurassic Park and I think they probably got it right so I don't need to see that and I wouldn't go to the Roman times because I saw Gladiator and I think that's a good I think most movies have pretty accurately depicted what those times were like and I think if I go back in time it's going to look like that only a little dirtier like people's togas will be dirty and I'll be like ah this sort of sucks so I don't want to see that so um nah I don't want to see that stuff I really just want to go to Ford Cedar and go hey Abe heads up

But still, it's something that's happening, and we have to respect it.

But still, it's something that's happening, and we have to respect it.

Because you know what? I'll tell you this. Abe Lincoln was 6'4", my height, and a strong backwoodsman. He would have turned around. Booth was a relatively small guy and an actor. I've interviewed enough of them to know that they're pretty easy to take in a fight. So he would just clean Booth's clock. That would be fun. Abe would just be wailing on Booth.

Because you know what? I'll tell you this. Abe Lincoln was 6'4", my height, and a strong backwoodsman. He would have turned around. Booth was a relatively small guy and an actor. I've interviewed enough of them to know that they're pretty easy to take in a fight. So he would just clean Booth's clock. That would be fun. Abe would just be wailing on Booth.

I would have witnessed the ultimate beatdown. Abe Blinken kicks the shit out of some little actor, takes his Derringer away and kicks the shit out of him, then throws him off the balcony. And then all the actors that are starring in the play our American cousin starring Laura Keen, they all start kicking Booth.

I would have witnessed the ultimate beatdown. Abe Blinken kicks the shit out of some little actor, takes his Derringer away and kicks the shit out of him, then throws him off the balcony. And then all the actors that are starring in the play our American cousin starring Laura Keen, they all start kicking Booth.

Did you just say that I've had you inside me?

Did you just say that I've had you inside me?

Stop. Don't ever say that again. Don't ever say that again. I don't want you inside me.

Stop. Don't ever say that again. Don't ever say that again. I don't want you inside me.

Don't ever say that. Don't ever say that again. Don't ever, ever say I'm inside you again.

Don't ever say that. Don't ever say that again. Don't ever, ever say I'm inside you again.

We can't spread anything. Is there any kind of press release that I need to approve or anything like that? I don't even think we can afford that, and I'm told they're free. So, no. And first of all, you've so far been just asking a series of questions, and I've indulged you, but let me get a little bit of stuff out.

We can't spread anything. Is there any kind of press release that I need to approve or anything like that? I don't even think we can afford that, and I'm told they're free. So, no. And first of all, you've so far been just asking a series of questions, and I've indulged you, but let me get a little bit of stuff out.

I've seen you at your best.

I've seen you at your best.

If we're inside each other, then it is intimate. Yeah. And that's hard to do too. Think of the geometry of that one.

If we're inside each other, then it is intimate. Yeah. And that's hard to do too. Think of the geometry of that one.

I'm not going to take away future. I'm just going to say past. Oh, past.

I'm not going to take away future. I'm just going to say past. Oh, past.

So we have to talk to the dinosaurs first and say, leave that guy alone over there.

So we have to talk to the dinosaurs first and say, leave that guy alone over there.

If you go back there, you have to take that into account. Yes, I do. There's a good chance. I mean, if and I could see you being very irritating to a Brontosaurus. I could see a Brontosaurus being like, I just fucking hate that guy.

If you go back there, you have to take that into account. Yes, I do. There's a good chance. I mean, if and I could see you being very irritating to a Brontosaurus. I could see a Brontosaurus being like, I just fucking hate that guy.

Oh, it's not. Now you're just saying. Of course, the Latin for lizard. You're just saying shit. It's not Brontosaurus.

Oh, it's not. Now you're just saying. Of course, the Latin for lizard. You're just saying shit. It's not Brontosaurus.

Just talk over me. That's fine.

Just talk over me. That's fine.

Say how you pronounce brontosaurus again. Brontosaurus. Okay. You need to be hit. I'm not going to say with steel rods because that's, but with a denser wood, like a wood, but it's a dense wood, like a mahogany. You need to be hit with mahogany. Okay. Because no one says that.

Say how you pronounce brontosaurus again. Brontosaurus. Okay. You need to be hit. I'm not going to say with steel rods because that's, but with a denser wood, like a wood, but it's a dense wood, like a mahogany. You need to be hit with mahogany. Okay. Because no one says that.

Even a brontosaurus, if it just heard that, would put both of its giant paws in front of its eyes and just be like, oh my God, what a dick. No, it's not. How do you say pterodactyl?

Even a brontosaurus, if it just heard that, would put both of its giant paws in front of its eyes and just be like, oh my God, what a dick. No, it's not. How do you say pterodactyl?

Why do you say these things like Dracula?

Why do you say these things like Dracula?

Well, you don't have to announce everything. It's the Conan Jordan Show. It's the second episode. This is where you and I talk. And people do all the time ask me, how's Jordan doing? I want more Conan Jordan. You know that our videos are a massive hit on YouTube, various other sundry places, the websites. People love them. They can't get enough. They want more. Well, now we're giving them more.

Well, you don't have to announce everything. It's the Conan Jordan Show. It's the second episode. This is where you and I talk. And people do all the time ask me, how's Jordan doing? I want more Conan Jordan. You know that our videos are a massive hit on YouTube, various other sundry places, the websites. People love them. They can't get enough. They want more. Well, now we're giving them more.

Go back to Making Love, Adding Nothing at All. Go visit the dinosaurs. That's my request. Go back and visit the dinosaurs and just sort of stand around and see what happens, okay? And if you get stomped or crushed, that's just what happens.

Go back to Making Love, Adding Nothing at All. Go visit the dinosaurs. That's my request. Go back and visit the dinosaurs and just sort of stand around and see what happens, okay? And if you get stomped or crushed, that's just what happens.

No, I'm an alumnus of Harvard University. Are we going to say it correctly or not?

No, I'm an alumnus of Harvard University. Are we going to say it correctly or not?

Harvard University.

Harvard University.

If you're going to say it, just say it.

If you're going to say it, just say it.

Nope. I gave a great speech.

Nope. I gave a great speech.

I also had a falcon on my shoulder. Yeah.

I also had a falcon on my shoulder. Yeah.

That's all I'm saying. Well, if an animal is someone who eats fast food, then call me an animal and call most Americans an animal. I love the United States of America. I really do love this country. And for you to attack it that way, I think, is not just scandalous, but treasonous.

That's all I'm saying. Well, if an animal is someone who eats fast food, then call me an animal and call most Americans an animal. I love the United States of America. I really do love this country. And for you to attack it that way, I think, is not just scandalous, but treasonous.

This is insane.

This is insane.

You're whimpering in the corner eating Ritz. We're ending it here. You know what you've had? You've had a complete breakdown today. And I can tell always because you get a fiendish look on your eyes. Your eyes arch up. You start to smile. That's my face.

You're whimpering in the corner eating Ritz. We're ending it here. You know what you've had? You've had a complete breakdown today. And I can tell always because you get a fiendish look on your eyes. Your eyes arch up. You start to smile. That's my face.

No, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no.

And then you lost your mind. You started spiraling on the word cracker. And you lost it. You flamed out. And now a bunch of men are rushing up to you and pouring foam over you so that you don't burn to death. Jordan. This was a great episode. It was a great episode because you came out of the gate hot and then you ended up in this spectacular explosion. I feel sorry for you.

And then you lost your mind. You started spiraling on the word cracker. And you lost it. You flamed out. And now a bunch of men are rushing up to you and pouring foam over you so that you don't burn to death. Jordan. This was a great episode. It was a great episode because you came out of the gate hot and then you ended up in this spectacular explosion. I feel sorry for you.

I feel sorry for anyone who's in your life. But I also love you. And when I say I love you, I'm lying. It's just not true. Anyway, this has been episode two of the Conan and Jordan show. I think one of the most fascinating shows in the history of any medium. It's unrehearsed. We never know what we're going to talk about. And we just play with this spinning top that is Jordan Schlansky.

I feel sorry for anyone who's in your life. But I also love you. And when I say I love you, I'm lying. It's just not true. Anyway, this has been episode two of the Conan and Jordan show. I think one of the most fascinating shows in the history of any medium. It's unrehearsed. We never know what we're going to talk about. And we just play with this spinning top that is Jordan Schlansky.

And what better way to experience us than while you're driving around, maybe in your rental car or at home listening to Sirius XM. This is the way to do it. People listen to the Conan O'Brien channel. They want to hear this stuff, you know. So it's you and I together. How are you feeling about it?

And what better way to experience us than while you're driving around, maybe in your rental car or at home listening to Sirius XM. This is the way to do it. People listen to the Conan O'Brien channel. They want to hear this stuff, you know. So it's you and I together. How are you feeling about it?

It's just Stratocaster. It's not Stratocaster. We just said the same thing. Second of all, I did ask him. We talked about it as he was getting into his car because the magic moments for me aren't captured, okay? You greedily want me to spill that kind of stuff into a microphone. I walked Billy to his car. It was Acura and massive dent, the back bumper.

It's just Stratocaster. It's not Stratocaster. We just said the same thing. Second of all, I did ask him. We talked about it as he was getting into his car because the magic moments for me aren't captured, okay? You greedily want me to spill that kind of stuff into a microphone. I walked Billy to his car. It was Acura and massive dent, the back bumper.

And I asked him that question and he told me the answer, but that's the kind of thing I can't share.

And I asked him that question and he told me the answer, but that's the kind of thing I can't share.

I asked him what I was interested in. And I also knew that he'd tell me when we walked him to his Acura and he did. So I was satisfied.

I asked him what I was interested in. And I also knew that he'd tell me when we walked him to his Acura and he did. So I was satisfied.

Wait a minute, the song St. Elmo's Fire? Okay. Do you like that song?

Wait a minute, the song St. Elmo's Fire? Okay. Do you like that song?

They were in their 20s. Don't anger me when people call people teens when they're 25, 26, sometimes some of them pushing 30. Emilio Estevez was 44 years old when he starred in that movie.

They were in their 20s. Don't anger me when people call people teens when they're 25, 26, sometimes some of them pushing 30. Emilio Estevez was 44 years old when he starred in that movie.

But I figured it out. I figured it out. Tell me the lyrics.

But I figured it out. I figured it out. Tell me the lyrics.

I can't conjure the song. I can't conjure the song. I can see a new horizon underneath the blazing sky. Hold on.

I can't conjure the song. I can't conjure the song. I can see a new horizon underneath the blazing sky. Hold on.

Everything on the Internet is a life well spent. Here we go. You got to get to the end. We're going to listen to this part first. Okay, this is, I remember this. The first note is up cut. Famous production error. I think the year was 1985. I'm in the theater.

Everything on the Internet is a life well spent. Here we go. You got to get to the end. We're going to listen to this part first. Okay, this is, I remember this. The first note is up cut. Famous production error. I think the year was 1985. I'm in the theater.

What kind of polling did you do to determine the success of the first episode? I've looked at no data. I've talked to no one. I live pretty much a secluded, strange life. But I know deep in my heart that this thing's a smash hit. So much so that, look, we have our own sign now, the Conan and Jordan show. Now, I was under the impression that the previous recording session was an audition of sorts.

What kind of polling did you do to determine the success of the first episode? I've looked at no data. I've talked to no one. I live pretty much a secluded, strange life. But I know deep in my heart that this thing's a smash hit. So much so that, look, we have our own sign now, the Conan and Jordan show. Now, I was under the impression that the previous recording session was an audition of sorts.

Settle down. You're kind of revving.

Settle down. You're kind of revving.

All right, we just got canceled. But they just let me know.

All right, we just got canceled. But they just let me know.

I'm going to ask you to do me a favor, Jordan. When I hold up my hand like this, you're going to have to stop talking. Because otherwise you just wash over me and you're a little out of control right now. We had a nice conversation going. And then you brought up this song, Man in Motion, the theme song for St. Elmo's Fire, which is a bullshit song.

I'm going to ask you to do me a favor, Jordan. When I hold up my hand like this, you're going to have to stop talking. Because otherwise you just wash over me and you're a little out of control right now. We had a nice conversation going. And then you brought up this song, Man in Motion, the theme song for St. Elmo's Fire, which is a bullshit song.

You're saying that a great song has an inconsequential opening? That's not a great song. A great song, by definition, has a great beginning.

You're saying that a great song has an inconsequential opening? That's not a great song. A great song, by definition, has a great beginning.

I forgot that the universal sign of good hearing is being able to determine and remember the lyrics to Man in Motion.

I forgot that the universal sign of good hearing is being able to determine and remember the lyrics to Man in Motion.

Hey, you think I'm an A-lister?

Hey, you think I'm an A-lister?

I can climb the highest mountain.

I can climb the highest mountain.

Okay, stop, because I don't care. Tell me what the last lyric... No, I'm not going to tell you.

Okay, stop, because I don't care. Tell me what the last lyric... No, I'm not going to tell you.

He's a philanthropist, but he can't give his music away. Look at that face. Oh, man, you got served, owned. Jordan, you're a terrible person. And our time away from each other has been a salve for my tattered soul. We're together again because the public demands it. We have our own show. And you completely commandeered it right up top to make us listen to that piece of mid-80s crap.

He's a philanthropist, but he can't give his music away. Look at that face. Oh, man, you got served, owned. Jordan, you're a terrible person. And our time away from each other has been a salve for my tattered soul. We're together again because the public demands it. We have our own show. And you completely commandeered it right up top to make us listen to that piece of mid-80s crap.

What's the power balance on this show, if it is, in fact, ours? Well, let's take a look at the order of the names. The Conan and Jordan show.

What's the power balance on this show, if it is, in fact, ours? Well, let's take a look at the order of the names. The Conan and Jordan show.

Yeah, big Conan and then sort of little scripted Jordan. I think you understand what the power balance is here. You're here because I allow you to be here. You live because I allow you to live. And maybe you're just someone that I imagined and you think you have a life. But the minute I stop thinking about you, you'll disappear. Fascinating. So let's talk. Man in motion.

Yeah, big Conan and then sort of little scripted Jordan. I think you understand what the power balance is here. You're here because I allow you to be here. You live because I allow you to live. And maybe you're just someone that I imagined and you think you have a life. But the minute I stop thinking about you, you'll disappear. Fascinating. So let's talk. Man in motion.

Oh, God, no. No, we use... every part of the Buffalo here. We can't waste anything. So no, that was not an audition. That was the first episode.

Oh, God, no. No, we use... every part of the Buffalo here. We can't waste anything. So no, that was not an audition. That was the first episode.

I do encourage the listeners to try and discern the last part of the song because that's an important use of everyone's time.

I do encourage the listeners to try and discern the last part of the song because that's an important use of everyone's time.

I think what people will take from this is. is a newfound hatred for you. They thought they hated you before, but now they're going to go look. Before it was, if I cross paths with Jordan, I'll smash his face. Now it's going to be, I've got to find out where that fucker is, and I need to take him out at the knees. That's what it's going to be now.

I think what people will take from this is. is a newfound hatred for you. They thought they hated you before, but now they're going to go look. Before it was, if I cross paths with Jordan, I'll smash his face. Now it's going to be, I've got to find out where that fucker is, and I need to take him out at the knees. That's what it's going to be now.

It'll be the first thing out of my mouth. Okay. Okay? I promise it. I'll write it on my hand. Yeah. All right? Swear to God. Go ahead. Usually it's how are you? Yeah. I like to try and ease into it. Small talk. Yeah, I understand. That makes people feel comfortable. Are you comfortable? Yeah. That's all. That's my technique. But as a robot, you would know that. You have your own techniques.

It'll be the first thing out of my mouth. Okay. Okay? I promise it. I'll write it on my hand. Yeah. All right? Swear to God. Go ahead. Usually it's how are you? Yeah. I like to try and ease into it. Small talk. Yeah, I understand. That makes people feel comfortable. Are you comfortable? Yeah. That's all. That's my technique. But as a robot, you would know that. You have your own techniques.

Jordan, this is what we have to do. We have to do a quick commercial. The sponsor now is Lady Crackers. Oh, yes. Why don't you just give an ad for Lady Crackers right now and just make it up as you go. Lady Crackers, Los Angeles, olive oil and sea salt.

Jordan, this is what we have to do. We have to do a quick commercial. The sponsor now is Lady Crackers. Oh, yes. Why don't you just give an ad for Lady Crackers right now and just make it up as you go. Lady Crackers, Los Angeles, olive oil and sea salt.

Can I just confirm? Can I confirm? One second. Can I confirm? Frank, he had no idea what I was going to hand him. No idea. This is not written. There's no copy. There's no copy. This is absolute. What are you doing? How are you able to do that?

Can I just confirm? Can I confirm? One second. Can I confirm? Frank, he had no idea what I was going to hand him. No idea. This is not written. There's no copy. There's no copy. This is absolute. What are you doing? How are you able to do that?

Did you say grapeseed?

Did you say grapeseed?

Don't talk that way on this program. What are you talking about? That's awful.

Don't talk that way on this program. What are you talking about? That's awful.

Let's get back to, you know, the sponsor is going to want to hear their product name and a little more about the product rather than a list of every oil that exists. Yeah.

Let's get back to, you know, the sponsor is going to want to hear their product name and a little more about the product rather than a list of every oil that exists. Yeah.

Would you like to taste one? Why don't you open it up and taste one? It's okay. Could you please? I typically try to avoid. Would you please? Yeah. It's okay. Would you please? Avoid. Please. Yeah.

Would you like to taste one? Why don't you open it up and taste one? It's okay. Could you please? I typically try to avoid. Would you please? Yeah. It's okay. Would you please? Avoid. Please. Yeah.

I would tear that.

I would tear that.

That's a fine pitch. I'm going to do you one better. Lady and Larder. I want a cracker at night, and I want one with a clean crunch.

That's a fine pitch. I'm going to do you one better. Lady and Larder. I want a cracker at night, and I want one with a clean crunch.

Mmm.

Mmm.

That gives you that Lady and Larder crackle, the munch crunch that makes you happy a whole bunch. That's why I like Lady and Larder. Lady and Larder, tear that box open, rip them tabs, and slam that cracker down your puss. And remember, if any crumbs go astray, use your tongue. Get it outside your face and lick them up.

That gives you that Lady and Larder crackle, the munch crunch that makes you happy a whole bunch. That's why I like Lady and Larder. Lady and Larder, tear that box open, rip them tabs, and slam that cracker down your puss. And remember, if any crumbs go astray, use your tongue. Get it outside your face and lick them up.

Nobody. Nobody has. I've run this up the flagpole. It's serious. And they said, we don't have a flagpole and we're not taking your call.

Nobody. Nobody has. I've run this up the flagpole. It's serious. And they said, we don't have a flagpole and we're not taking your call.

Keep that tongue outside your head. It's a good way to get those crumbs.

Keep that tongue outside your head. It's a good way to get those crumbs.

Lady and louder. Now with more of the good stuff that you love. Get it now! What do you think? Good answer? Well, you know, we have different approaches. Yeah. You talked in a very depressed way for a while and then said, seems like kind of a high sodium content.

Lady and louder. Now with more of the good stuff that you love. Get it now! What do you think? Good answer? Well, you know, we have different approaches. Yeah. You talked in a very depressed way for a while and then said, seems like kind of a high sodium content.

It's the clean crunch that gives you a munch and I love it a bunch.

It's the clean crunch that gives you a munch and I love it a bunch.

See the way it rhymes?

See the way it rhymes?

Yeah.

Yeah.

People love that in an ad. They're not going to remember your sodium content quip, but they're going to remember my- Do you have an idea for a jingle for this? Do you want to sing a little song?

People love that in an ad. They're not going to remember your sodium content quip, but they're going to remember my- Do you have an idea for a jingle for this? Do you want to sing a little song?

All right, well, welcome to the Conan and Jordan show. This is our second episode. I have to be honest with you, Jordan, I didn't think we'd get to a second episode. Yeah. Because during the last one, I'm just being honest, I wanted to smash your face into powder. But... We made it. We're here. And this is by popular demand. People love the Conan and Jordan show.

All right, well, welcome to the Conan and Jordan show. This is our second episode. I have to be honest with you, Jordan, I didn't think we'd get to a second episode. Yeah. Because during the last one, I'm just being honest, I wanted to smash your face into powder. But... We made it. We're here. And this is by popular demand. People love the Conan and Jordan show.

Yeah, and I live with a leprechaun.

Yeah, and I live with a leprechaun.

And I just ate a four-leaf clover for lunch.

And I just ate a four-leaf clover for lunch.

Do you remember it?

Do you remember it?

30 years ago now.

30 years ago now.

That's good. Yeah, that is. That's very good.

That's good. Yeah, that is. That's very good.

There was an old man from Nantucket who wanted his young friend to suck it. He said, Guinness, I said, I didn't mean your head. And then the guy kicked the bucket. I just made that up.

There was an old man from Nantucket who wanted his young friend to suck it. He said, Guinness, I said, I didn't mean your head. And then the guy kicked the bucket. I just made that up.

There are many sides to me. And I think he would appreciate some of that. First of all, I don't care if he would appreciate them because I have no interest in bonding with him. Nevertheless. That's so rude.

There are many sides to me. And I think he would appreciate some of that. First of all, I don't care if he would appreciate them because I have no interest in bonding with him. Nevertheless. That's so rude.

My birthday passed two months ago. I was being polite. Now listen to me.

My birthday passed two months ago. I was being polite. Now listen to me.

What fool in this room told Geddy Lee that my birthday was right now and I have to play along like a jackass because I'm not going to be the asshole that tells him, no, you're wrong. That's going nowhere. Well, you did tell him. You did tell him it passed. Well, I was polite. You told him it passed. That's the best I can do. I'm not going to flat out.

What fool in this room told Geddy Lee that my birthday was right now and I have to play along like a jackass because I'm not going to be the asshole that tells him, no, you're wrong. That's going nowhere. Well, you did tell him. You did tell him it passed. Well, I was polite. You told him it passed. That's the best I can do. I'm not going to flat out.

So what?

So what?

He came within a sixth.

He came within a sixth.

What I'm saying is the man likes wine. OK, he has a preference for French wine. My I have a preference for Italian wine. Nevertheless, there are things that we could connect on. Should either of us want to? I don't want to. I don't want to. No, stop saying that. No offense to them. And I enjoy listening to his music and I enjoy listening to him speak.

What I'm saying is the man likes wine. OK, he has a preference for French wine. My I have a preference for Italian wine. Nevertheless, there are things that we could connect on. Should either of us want to? I don't want to. I don't want to. No, stop saying that. No offense to them. And I enjoy listening to his music and I enjoy listening to him speak.

But I don't make any pretense that him and I would ever go hang out. Nor would I. I'm an introvert. I fear human interaction. I avoid it.

But I don't make any pretense that him and I would ever go hang out. Nor would I. I'm an introvert. I fear human interaction. I avoid it.

Yeah, I have one human being here and some nice gentleman over here, but I'm not talking to large quantities of people.

Yeah, I have one human being here and some nice gentleman over here, but I'm not talking to large quantities of people.

Some say the language of music is older than the word language itself. Music is a great unifier, much like food. OK, when we all disagree on so many things, we all appreciate music. I go one step further. I like to have the best version of music to listen to. I like my music to sound as good as possible. Back in the 70s, when you were growing up, you might have called me a hi-fi guy.

Some say the language of music is older than the word language itself. Music is a great unifier, much like food. OK, when we all disagree on so many things, we all appreciate music. I go one step further. I like to have the best version of music to listen to. I like my music to sound as good as possible. Back in the 70s, when you were growing up, you might have called me a hi-fi guy.

OK, first of all, of course, I would be polite. Secondly, if I walk by, wouldn't you be honored if I walked by and he didn't recognize me and he was sitting there? I would absolutely not approach him either before or after this experience. OK, I would give the man his space. I have no interest. It doesn't do anything. I'd rather go home, put my headphones on at 3 a.m.

OK, first of all, of course, I would be polite. Secondly, if I walk by, wouldn't you be honored if I walked by and he didn't recognize me and he was sitting there? I would absolutely not approach him either before or after this experience. OK, I would give the man his space. I have no interest. It doesn't do anything. I'd rather go home, put my headphones on at 3 a.m.

and listen to my favorite pressing of moving pictures and get lost in it than sit down at a cafe with a man that clearly wanted to be alone.

and listen to my favorite pressing of moving pictures and get lost in it than sit down at a cafe with a man that clearly wanted to be alone.

You know, I find that... Well, you and I are different. Maybe you're somehow consumed by the idea of fame. Nope. And also fame doesn't interest me at all. And also, as you'll know, a lot of artists, he's actually a very friendly, gregarious man with great social skills.

You know, I find that... Well, you and I are different. Maybe you're somehow consumed by the idea of fame. Nope. And also fame doesn't interest me at all. And also, as you'll know, a lot of artists, he's actually a very friendly, gregarious man with great social skills.

But there are many artists are kind of at the other end of the spectrum and are more introverted like myself and don't necessarily want to connect with people. Of course, they do it out of obligation to their fan base. But yeah, so I don't need to impose myself.

But there are many artists are kind of at the other end of the spectrum and are more introverted like myself and don't necessarily want to connect with people. Of course, they do it out of obligation to their fan base. But yeah, so I don't need to impose myself.

Fumpfering, you wanted fumpfering. That to you shows that, wow, I've done well. You've got the fumpfering from me. I'm saying I saw him. I acknowledged him. I understood. You acknowledged him. I understood the situation.

Fumpfering, you wanted fumpfering. That to you shows that, wow, I've done well. You've got the fumpfering from me. I'm saying I saw him. I acknowledged him. I understood. You acknowledged him. I understood the situation.

I didn't expect him to know. I wouldn't expect that's not his job. He passes that off to other people. I don't have access to those other people. You put you put him up on a screen. So he's the man I made my case to. If you put the head of their catalog up on screen, I would have made a better case to them.

I didn't expect him to know. I wouldn't expect that's not his job. He passes that off to other people. I don't have access to those other people. You put you put him up on a screen. So he's the man I made my case to. If you put the head of their catalog up on screen, I would have made a better case to them.

Yeah, I do it regularly as part of my career.

Yeah, I do it regularly as part of my career.

Yeah, I do. I'm a huge fan of the show. I was happy to work on it for so long because I was a fan of it. But I'm going to say very clearly, I have no interest in famous people simply because they're famous.

Yeah, I do. I'm a huge fan of the show. I was happy to work on it for so long because I was a fan of it. But I'm going to say very clearly, I have no interest in famous people simply because they're famous.

That thought does occur to me based on situations that happen around me. But I don't reject you or accept you simply because you're famous. I don't seek out famous people. I don't feel any more exhilaration talking to a famous person than a non-famous person. Liar! Now, there are some famous people that I am infatuated with that I've never met.

That thought does occur to me based on situations that happen around me. But I don't reject you or accept you simply because you're famous. I don't seek out famous people. I don't feel any more exhilaration talking to a famous person than a non-famous person. Liar! Now, there are some famous people that I am infatuated with that I've never met.

OK, Neil Diamond, Tristan Rogers from General Hospital in the 1980s. Jesus, what a list.

OK, Neil Diamond, Tristan Rogers from General Hospital in the 1980s. Jesus, what a list.

I can count on one hand the amount of famous people I was very interested to meet. John Williams, I've met him a number of times. Of course, the famous composer. He was a big one for me. Neil Diamond, I never had the chance to meet. John Ritter, I did meet. Wonderful guy. He was wonderful.

I can count on one hand the amount of famous people I was very interested to meet. John Williams, I've met him a number of times. Of course, the famous composer. He was a big one for me. Neil Diamond, I never had the chance to meet. John Ritter, I did meet. Wonderful guy. He was wonderful.

Oh, I got Tristan Rogers here. Tristan Rogers, Australian. He's Australian. Yes, he certainly has a beautiful voice. I don't know how old he is. 78. OK, that sounds about right. He I modeled my personality after him. I watched General Hospital religiously in the 1980s. It was him. It was John Reilly who played Sean Donnelly, who I met at the Grove once. The late, great John Reilly. Hold it.

Oh, I got Tristan Rogers here. Tristan Rogers, Australian. He's Australian. Yes, he certainly has a beautiful voice. I don't know how old he is. 78. OK, that sounds about right. He I modeled my personality after him. I watched General Hospital religiously in the 1980s. It was him. It was John Reilly who played Sean Donnelly, who I met at the Grove once. The late, great John Reilly. Hold it.

Hold it.

Hold it.

You certainly extrapolated a bit. Okay. I gave you, I think you embellished the core of what I was saying. I just repeated what you said. The man spoke like music. You listen to the words that come out of his mouth and his Australian accent, and he speaks like music. He could play it all. He could play the mystery. He could play the drama, love, anger.

You certainly extrapolated a bit. Okay. I gave you, I think you embellished the core of what I was saying. I just repeated what you said. The man spoke like music. You listen to the words that come out of his mouth and his Australian accent, and he speaks like music. He could play it all. He could play the mystery. He could play the drama, love, anger.

That episode with him and Burt in December 1986, Burt Ramsey, his former police commissioner that betrayed him and became head of the mob, when he yelled at him at the end of that episode, that was like stunning. That changed me.

That episode with him and Burt in December 1986, Burt Ramsey, his former police commissioner that betrayed him and became head of the mob, when he yelled at him at the end of that episode, that was like stunning. That changed me.

There was a time I sought out those old episodes at General Hospital. I tried to get the footage. It was unavailable everywhere. They would put out little retrospectives on VHS. I'm like, Luke and Laura's wedding. No one gives a shit about that. We've all seen it 50 times. I want to see the Aztec treasure. I want to see the Aztec treasure. Asian corner from 1985.

There was a time I sought out those old episodes at General Hospital. I tried to get the footage. It was unavailable everywhere. They would put out little retrospectives on VHS. I'm like, Luke and Laura's wedding. No one gives a shit about that. We've all seen it 50 times. I want to see the Aztec treasure. I want to see the Aztec treasure. Asian corner from 1985.

We talk. That is our that is our venture here. We are here to talk different about this. You interrupt my talking, but that's the whole point. What's different about this pressing? OK, there are many back in the day before things were standardized.

We talk. That is our that is our venture here. We are here to talk different about this. You interrupt my talking, but that's the whole point. What's different about this pressing? OK, there are many back in the day before things were standardized.

And you know what I'm saying? Two months.

And you know what I'm saying? Two months.

I know he doesn't know what the fuck. I'd rather meet Tristan Rogers than getting laid. God damn it. There I said it. I said it. Get Tristan Rodgers. Who's Tristan Rodgers? Get Tristan Rodgers. All right, we're going to get Tristan Rodgers. I want Tristan Rodgers.

I know he doesn't know what the fuck. I'd rather meet Tristan Rogers than getting laid. God damn it. There I said it. I said it. Get Tristan Rodgers. Who's Tristan Rodgers? Get Tristan Rodgers. All right, we're going to get Tristan Rodgers. I want Tristan Rodgers.

That's what you're going to do. First of all, let's pretend that as human beings, we're not influenced by the media figures we're exposed to every day. Like Tony Hopkins said in the Silence of the Lambs, we covet what we see every day around us. OK, I saw him every day shouting. I found him compelling. He had charisma. The charisma that I have, I learned from him.

That's what you're going to do. First of all, let's pretend that as human beings, we're not influenced by the media figures we're exposed to every day. Like Tony Hopkins said in the Silence of the Lambs, we covet what we see every day around us. OK, I saw him every day shouting. I found him compelling. He had charisma. The charisma that I have, I learned from him.

This man is cool as ice. OK, I don't equate somebody's talent by their level of fame, their level of objective fame. OK, he may not be the most famous person in this town, but to me, he's the most compelling. Can I ask you something?

This man is cool as ice. OK, I don't equate somebody's talent by their level of fame, their level of objective fame. OK, he may not be the most famous person in this town, but to me, he's the most compelling. Can I ask you something?

Ah, yes, the ideal, the ignorant ideal. Let me explain to you how human psychology works, okay? Let me explain to you nature and nurture. We are a product of what we are exposed to every day. Now, you can look at this as a negative or you can look at this as empowering. We can choose what we surround ourselves with every day. These things will become part of our personality. You...

Ah, yes, the ideal, the ignorant ideal. Let me explain to you how human psychology works, okay? Let me explain to you nature and nurture. We are a product of what we are exposed to every day. Now, you can look at this as a negative or you can look at this as empowering. We can choose what we surround ourselves with every day. These things will become part of our personality. You...

Yes. This is a spoken word program. Is that correct? Yeah. OK, so I am speaking words. All right. That is what I was told the assignment was. All right. I'm here to complete the assignment. All right. Today, we're going to spend, I don't know, a half hour talking about the difference. Guess what?

Yes. This is a spoken word program. Is that correct? Yeah. OK, so I am speaking words. All right. That is what I was told the assignment was. All right. I'm here to complete the assignment. All right. Today, we're going to spend, I don't know, a half hour talking about the difference. Guess what?

are comprised in part of me because you have been exposed to me. I have rubbed off on you in ways you may or may not be aware of. We are a product of our environment. As strong as we think we are mentally, I'm true to myself. Your self is based on your environment. Every single human being that's around you, every single object becomes part of you. I am a part of you and I will always be.

are comprised in part of me because you have been exposed to me. I have rubbed off on you in ways you may or may not be aware of. We are a product of our environment. As strong as we think we are mentally, I'm true to myself. Your self is based on your environment. Every single human being that's around you, every single object becomes part of you. I am a part of you and I will always be.

Yeah, you're inside me.

Yeah, you're inside me.

These have a very low gain, by the way. You need a very powerful mixer to extrapolate the proper sound. You can use a cloud lifter, though. which a lot of amateur podcasters do. And now they have a new model that has a built-in preamp. They're a little bit longer, they're shiny, and they say short down the side. What I'm saying is the fact that I'm shouting doesn't preclude me from being content.

These have a very low gain, by the way. You need a very powerful mixer to extrapolate the proper sound. You can use a cloud lifter, though. which a lot of amateur podcasters do. And now they have a new model that has a built-in preamp. They're a little bit longer, they're shiny, and they say short down the side. What I'm saying is the fact that I'm shouting doesn't preclude me from being content.

I am a content man.

I am a content man.

Yeah, I apparently am a radio host on Sirius XM.

Yeah, I apparently am a radio host on Sirius XM.

For anyone wondering what it's like to be a radio host, I'll tell you what it's like. There's no change to my life. There are no perks. I'm not even convinced we have a radio show. I've seen clips of it on YouTube. I don't have there's no mug in front of me with the Conan O'Brien show logo that has two meatballs that look like the orange chicken at Panda Express.

For anyone wondering what it's like to be a radio host, I'll tell you what it's like. There's no change to my life. There are no perks. I'm not even convinced we have a radio show. I've seen clips of it on YouTube. I don't have there's no mug in front of me with the Conan O'Brien show logo that has two meatballs that look like the orange chicken at Panda Express.

I don't feel you tell me we have a radio show and you think I'd feel some level of accomplishment to be a radio host. A goal that I never set for myself, but somehow found me. And I just have a normal life. I don't get free things. I don't get special privileges at restaurants. Just for anyone wondering, maybe you aspire to be a radio hosting. You think your life will change.

I don't feel you tell me we have a radio show and you think I'd feel some level of accomplishment to be a radio host. A goal that I never set for myself, but somehow found me. And I just have a normal life. I don't get free things. I don't get special privileges at restaurants. Just for anyone wondering, maybe you aspire to be a radio hosting. You think your life will change.

I'm here to tell you there is zero change.

I'm here to tell you there is zero change.

I'm content. I'm passionate. I appreciate the things you've done to me. I'm self-aware. To you?

I'm content. I'm passionate. I appreciate the things you've done to me. I'm self-aware. To you?

Done to me, for me, with me.

Done to me, for me, with me.

Yeah. Yeah, I appreciate them. I'm passionate about them. Look, people say apathy is the worst insult. If I shout and I'm passionate, don't worry so much about am I angry? Am I happy? Just just be happy that you're evoking a response. And sure, Mussolini shouted and he was just trying to get his point across.

Yeah. Yeah, I appreciate them. I'm passionate about them. Look, people say apathy is the worst insult. If I shout and I'm passionate, don't worry so much about am I angry? Am I happy? Just just be happy that you're evoking a response. And sure, Mussolini shouted and he was just trying to get his point across.

If that's the criteria for being a dictator, then, you know, I think half of the population is guilty.

If that's the criteria for being a dictator, then, you know, I think half of the population is guilty.

He he he happy birthday me two months late and call me by the wrong name. And I again, I wasn't expecting anything out of this interaction. So why do you keep mentioning it? By the way, this interaction, I didn't even know this interaction was going to happen. I don't think you guys have disclosed that. I wasn't aware that this was clear to everyone that you don't know what's

He he he happy birthday me two months late and call me by the wrong name. And I again, I wasn't expecting anything out of this interaction. So why do you keep mentioning it? By the way, this interaction, I didn't even know this interaction was going to happen. I don't think you guys have disclosed that. I wasn't aware that this was clear to everyone that you don't know what's

happening okay yeah I walk I walk into this room I was told to spit in a sit in a different spot than normal okay so there was an agenda clearly but I am fine with the way this interaction when I think I I think he understands now that there is an appreciation of his work yeah on a very grand when asked if he would hang out with you he said fuck no I I don't need to hang out with him yeah

happening okay yeah I walk I walk into this room I was told to spit in a sit in a different spot than normal okay so there was an agenda clearly but I am fine with the way this interaction when I think I I think he understands now that there is an appreciation of his work yeah on a very grand when asked if he would hang out with you he said fuck no I I don't need to hang out with him yeah

You don't have to reject a date that you've not invited on.

You don't have to reject a date that you've not invited on.

It was released on various media, of course. Now, that's very expensive, so keep your greasy fingers off of it. You can touch the case. I don't want it on the disc, okay?

It was released on various media, of course. Now, that's very expensive, so keep your greasy fingers off of it. You can touch the case. I don't want it on the disc, okay?

Well, I've known you for decades, and we've had these experiences before. So basically, I have in a quest. This is actually a very well recorded album and very well mixed a lot of dynamics. But in recent releases, those dynamics are squashed. There's a trend to make digital releases of music sound as loud as possible.

Well, I've known you for decades, and we've had these experiences before. So basically, I have in a quest. This is actually a very well recorded album and very well mixed a lot of dynamics. But in recent releases, those dynamics are squashed. There's a trend to make digital releases of music sound as loud as possible.

OK, nobody wants their song to sound quieter on the radio or on a streaming service compared to the song next to it. You know, your body language makes me feel a bit rushed. This is going to take a while. Okay. Okay.

OK, nobody wants their song to sound quieter on the radio or on a streaming service compared to the song next to it. You know, your body language makes me feel a bit rushed. This is going to take a while. Okay. Okay.

This is not, this is not punchy stuff. This is a slow burn.

This is not, this is not punchy stuff. This is a slow burn.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes.

OK, for anyone that doesn't know, we've been joined by Geddy Lee. I believe your original name was Gary Levy, Toronto, Canada, perhaps a man of Willowdale.

OK, for anyone that doesn't know, we've been joined by Geddy Lee. I believe your original name was Gary Levy, Toronto, Canada, perhaps a man of Willowdale.

I understand. Nevertheless, I appreciate what he's done. And now I want to hear his work in the best way possible. It's really honoring him and his bandmates.

I understand. Nevertheless, I appreciate what he's done. And now I want to hear his work in the best way possible. It's really honoring him and his bandmates.

All right. So I like a dynamic version. Now, my favorite recording or mastering of moving pictures was actually an original Dutch vinyl record. And there is a famous digital rip of that online. And I requested permission to play it on air and I was unable to obtain that permission. Are you feeling are you feeling at all unsafe right now?

All right. So I like a dynamic version. Now, my favorite recording or mastering of moving pictures was actually an original Dutch vinyl record. And there is a famous digital rip of that online. And I requested permission to play it on air and I was unable to obtain that permission. Are you feeling are you feeling at all unsafe right now?

These men and their engineers at Les Studio in Morin Heights, Quebec in 1980, 1981, spent a lot of time to get a certain sound. They experimented with different techniques. Digital technology was new at that time. Their drummer, Neil Peart, wore a microphone taped to his chest to get a drummer's

These men and their engineers at Les Studio in Morin Heights, Quebec in 1980, 1981, spent a lot of time to get a certain sound. They experimented with different techniques. Digital technology was new at that time. Their drummer, Neil Peart, wore a microphone taped to his chest to get a drummer's

And you bring up that iconic song, Tom Sawyer by Rush, that starts our show. I would like to point out that longtime listeners of our show may have noticed something a little different today in that our engineer Eduardo graciously played my preferred mastering of that song. This is not the readily available mastering that any fool would get on a streaming service these days. Any fool?

And you bring up that iconic song, Tom Sawyer by Rush, that starts our show. I would like to point out that longtime listeners of our show may have noticed something a little different today in that our engineer Eduardo graciously played my preferred mastering of that song. This is not the readily available mastering that any fool would get on a streaming service these days. Any fool?

Okay, I have put a lot of time and money into seeking out the best version of all of my favorite music. I have bought probably 20 versions of that album on various media. Great. Well, better that than have your kids go to college. Yeah. These are hobbies. We all have our hobbies. OK. OK. These are benevolent pursuits. You spend your money on various hobbies.

Okay, I have put a lot of time and money into seeking out the best version of all of my favorite music. I have bought probably 20 versions of that album on various media. Great. Well, better that than have your kids go to college. Yeah. These are hobbies. We all have our hobbies. OK. OK. These are benevolent pursuits. You spend your money on various hobbies.

Look, I appreciate the music. I understand that we don't need to know each other in real life. I respect that professional distance. Nevertheless, I appreciate the music. I have... Many things to say, which will go unsaid today and stay for another day.

Look, I appreciate the music. I understand that we don't need to know each other in real life. I respect that professional distance. Nevertheless, I appreciate the music. I have... Many things to say, which will go unsaid today and stay for another day.

Fire away. More so requests than questions. I've educated myself on most of the knowledge base out there. But of course, there are requests, certain material I would like to see. There was a 1990 concert at the Palace of Auburn Hills, Michigan on the Presto tour.

Fire away. More so requests than questions. I've educated myself on most of the knowledge base out there. But of course, there are requests, certain material I would like to see. There was a 1990 concert at the Palace of Auburn Hills, Michigan on the Presto tour.

It was shot by the in-house cameras at the venue and parts of it were released on a special album release a few years ago, but it wasn't the entire concert. I'd like to see the entire concert on video of that Presto show because that was my first concert April 1990.

It was shot by the in-house cameras at the venue and parts of it were released on a special album release a few years ago, but it wasn't the entire concert. I'd like to see the entire concert on video of that Presto show because that was my first concert April 1990.

Yeah, it was released under the name Through the Rabbit Hole. And I understand the artist doesn't necessarily oversee every aspect of this. That would be incredibly tiresome. And that's not his responsibility. His responsibility was to make the music. And then he has the right people that he trusts to take it from there. And I respect that. I'm not requesting that you handle it personally.

Yeah, it was released under the name Through the Rabbit Hole. And I understand the artist doesn't necessarily oversee every aspect of this. That would be incredibly tiresome. And that's not his responsibility. His responsibility was to make the music. And then he has the right people that he trusts to take it from there. And I respect that. I'm not requesting that you handle it personally.

But if it ever comes up in discussions, there is a call for that by the fans. And I would like to see the last some of the later albums such as Vapor Trails and Clockwork Angels released in a more dynamic form in 2015. The Abbey Road engineer, Sean McGee, remastered most of their catalog from their Mercury years and then some of the later releases as well. But he never got to those two.

But if it ever comes up in discussions, there is a call for that by the fans. And I would like to see the last some of the later albums such as Vapor Trails and Clockwork Angels released in a more dynamic form in 2015. The Abbey Road engineer, Sean McGee, remastered most of their catalog from their Mercury years and then some of the later releases as well. But he never got to those two.

And there isn't really there aren't really good dynamic releases of those. I would like to hear those at some point in the future. Thank you for your time and attention. Dude, you need to send me a list of this stuff.

And there isn't really there aren't really good dynamic releases of those. I would like to hear those at some point in the future. Thank you for your time and attention. Dude, you need to send me a list of this stuff.

Recently passed, yes.

Recently passed, yes.

I believe you have a collection of guitars.

I believe you have a collection of guitars.

I met him a few times. He's incredibly well-spoken. He's enjoyable when you listen to him speak in interviews, just the way he forms words. Those are called sentences, yeah. Yeah, but the way he puts words together in particular. Yeah, that's a sentence. He's a verb. He's an adjective. The man's very intelligent, well-spoken. I enjoy listening to people like that. I don't know.

I met him a few times. He's incredibly well-spoken. He's enjoyable when you listen to him speak in interviews, just the way he forms words. Those are called sentences, yeah. Yeah, but the way he puts words together in particular. Yeah, that's a sentence. He's a verb. He's an adjective. The man's very intelligent, well-spoken. I enjoy listening to people like that. I don't know.

I mean, I listen to him. He seemed like a nice, smart guy, but I think I'm just as intelligent.

I mean, I listen to him. He seemed like a nice, smart guy, but I think I'm just as intelligent.

I think there's a conflation with the idea of fandom. So most people are fans and they feel like they need to meet the person. They need to hang out with the person. I'm a huge fan of Rush, but I don't feel the need to hang out or even meet him. Guess what?

I think there's a conflation with the idea of fandom. So most people are fans and they feel like they need to meet the person. They need to hang out with the person. I'm a huge fan of Rush, but I don't feel the need to hang out or even meet him. Guess what?

Right. Based on this presentation, based on what he was given, I would not want to meet me either. So you understand. What I'm saying is he's seeing a very limited side of me. No, no, no. He's not seeing a limited side of you. That is you. No, he is seeing what was just presented to him. What was just presented to him is you.

Right. Based on this presentation, based on what he was given, I would not want to meet me either. So you understand. What I'm saying is he's seeing a very limited side of me. No, no, no. He's not seeing a limited side of you. That is you. No, he is seeing what was just presented to him. What was just presented to him is you.

See, that's your curse. You bring so much curse, curse, blessing. I say you bring so much joy. You bring so much joy and you have such an extraordinary mind. But your curse is you can't shut it off and you're tortured 24 seven by cracking jokes, by feeling the need to crack jokes to every emotional event that happens.

See, that's your curse. You bring so much curse, curse, blessing. I say you bring so much joy. You bring so much joy and you have such an extraordinary mind. But your curse is you can't shut it off and you're tortured 24 seven by cracking jokes, by feeling the need to crack jokes to every emotional event that happens.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm saying there's a time and a place for everything. There are times that I want gems.

I'm saying there's a time and a place for everything. There are times that I want gems.

You're wearing a nice hat. That's right. One may think after so many decades that your extraordinary mind doesn't necessarily impress me on a daily basis. Even I have thought these things sometimes. But then every once in a while, there's something like the Hot Ones appearance, and I'm newly amazed all over again. fantastic masterclass. Oh, please.

You're wearing a nice hat. That's right. One may think after so many decades that your extraordinary mind doesn't necessarily impress me on a daily basis. Even I have thought these things sometimes. But then every once in a while, there's something like the Hot Ones appearance, and I'm newly amazed all over again. fantastic masterclass. Oh, please.

I mean, there's so there's so much to say about it. I appreciated the show. I appreciated the host. I appreciated a quality of the host that reminded me of you back on the old late night show in that in the late night show, you created a venue to showcase comedy and let that comedy shine, even if in that particular moment, it wasn't you personally shining.

I mean, there's so there's so much to say about it. I appreciated the show. I appreciated the host. I appreciated a quality of the host that reminded me of you back on the old late night show in that in the late night show, you created a venue to showcase comedy and let that comedy shine, even if in that particular moment, it wasn't you personally shining.

They have a great format, very clever in that it disarms the guest and presents more accurate depiction of the true guest. But they also, as much as their format, they're not rigid about their format. And they allowed you they knew you came in with material. Your great strength was you were always there as much or as little as your guest needed you to.

They have a great format, very clever in that it disarms the guest and presents more accurate depiction of the true guest. But they also, as much as their format, they're not rigid about their format. And they allowed you they knew you came in with material. Your great strength was you were always there as much or as little as your guest needed you to.

So if you had someone like Martin Short and Tom Hanks that came with material, you knew when to shut up and kind of let them do their thing. And if you're with someone that needed some assistance, you were there to give some support. And I think it's kind of the same thing. He knew that you came with material and he was happy to kind of let you run with it. It's a great sleep machine, by the way.

So if you had someone like Martin Short and Tom Hanks that came with material, you knew when to shut up and kind of let them do their thing. And if you're with someone that needed some assistance, you were there to give some support. And I think it's kind of the same thing. He knew that you came with material and he was happy to kind of let you run with it. It's a great sleep machine, by the way.

No, I thought the host was great. The host was obviously well-researched, which has been discussed.

No, I thought the host was great. The host was obviously well-researched, which has been discussed.

Yeah. Well, we have free time on this show. This is free time. I have the floor. I have the floor. Whoa. This is what I choose to talk about.

Yeah. Well, we have free time on this show. This is free time. I have the floor. I have the floor. Whoa. This is what I choose to talk about.

Time to get in your clown car there, Binky. This show is a slow burn, okay? We're not looking for like hit, hit, hit, hit. People are just driving. They enjoy just like human conversation. You see, here we are. Here we are, two men. And we're just talking. You keep saying we're men and you keep saying we're human. We're two men. We are relatable to humanity because they look at us.

Time to get in your clown car there, Binky. This show is a slow burn, okay? We're not looking for like hit, hit, hit, hit. People are just driving. They enjoy just like human conversation. You see, here we are. Here we are, two men. And we're just talking. You keep saying we're men and you keep saying we're human. We're two men. We are relatable to humanity because they look at us.

They look at us and maybe we represent parts of their own psychology. And here we are interacting. what I'm saying is there are parts of us that are relatable to the listeners and, and you may think there's an expectation that we have to keep things moving at a certain comedic pacing. And I, and I enjoy just talking to you.

They look at us and maybe we represent parts of their own psychology. And here we are interacting. what I'm saying is there are parts of us that are relatable to the listeners and, and you may think there's an expectation that we have to keep things moving at a certain comedic pacing. And I, and I enjoy just talking to you.

100% improv. Great. Yeah. It's the real deal. Great.

100% improv. Great. Yeah. It's the real deal. Great.

Would you like to? To echo what you said, I'm very particular about the products I use. I believe that one's life in part is defined by the products that surround us. We spend hours with these things, maybe even years. And aesthetically speaking, I like to have objects of beauty and utility around me. Now, I choose my products very carefully. And that is certainly true in the case of toilet paper.

Would you like to? To echo what you said, I'm very particular about the products I use. I believe that one's life in part is defined by the products that surround us. We spend hours with these things, maybe even years. And aesthetically speaking, I like to have objects of beauty and utility around me. Now, I choose my products very carefully. And that is certainly true in the case of toilet paper.

Now, I've got some products here. that I want to talk about. Wow. That's a lot of toilet paper there. Well, I do buy toilet paper in bulk because, well, first of all, the need never goes away. Because you're a mad shitter.

Now, I've got some products here. that I want to talk about. Wow. That's a lot of toilet paper there. Well, I do buy toilet paper in bulk because, well, first of all, the need never goes away. Because you're a mad shitter.

So listen, I choose my toilet paper very carefully, and I like this to be a once-in-a-lifetime endeavor, okay? I don't need to re-choose my toilet paper every decade.

So listen, I choose my toilet paper very carefully, and I like this to be a once-in-a-lifetime endeavor, okay? I don't need to re-choose my toilet paper every decade.

OK, well, this is a cliche and a theory by those that are uneducated. Sometimes a vinyl pressing.

OK, well, this is a cliche and a theory by those that are uneducated. Sometimes a vinyl pressing.

The conversation's over. Unless there's some new technology that needs to be introduced to the world. So many years ago, I sampled different toilet papers. There were the aesthetics. There was the design on the paper itself. Was it a quilt? Where did you sample them?

The conversation's over. Unless there's some new technology that needs to be introduced to the world. So many years ago, I sampled different toilet papers. There were the aesthetics. There was the design on the paper itself. Was it a quilt? Where did you sample them?

Over time, I purchased different items.

Over time, I purchased different items.

No, I did not. No.

No, I did not. No.

I decided on a on Charmin. At the time, it was called, I believe, Charmin Plus or Charmin Plus Lotion or Charmin Plus Aloe. And they've gone through many iterations of the name over the years. And it was basically they marketed it as having lotion in it. The lotion was mainly mineral oil. Sure, they put some Aloe in there just to say that they did.

I decided on a on Charmin. At the time, it was called, I believe, Charmin Plus or Charmin Plus Lotion or Charmin Plus Aloe. And they've gone through many iterations of the name over the years. And it was basically they marketed it as having lotion in it. The lotion was mainly mineral oil. Sure, they put some Aloe in there just to say that they did.

But the bulk of it was mineral oil, which is not an expensive addition. Nevertheless, when you're talking about friction. A situation which is inherently comprised of friction and abrasion. What do you mean a situation? What I'm saying is the use of toilet paper. Any any physicist would know that the use of toilet paper involves friction to objects rubbing together. You're talking about abrasion.

But the bulk of it was mineral oil, which is not an expensive addition. Nevertheless, when you're talking about friction. A situation which is inherently comprised of friction and abrasion. What do you mean a situation? What I'm saying is the use of toilet paper. Any any physicist would know that the use of toilet paper involves friction to objects rubbing together. You're talking about abrasion.

You're talking about erosion for all the environmentalists out there. There is a human bodily erosion when using any toilet paper product. Okay. Any toilet paper.

You're talking about erosion for all the environmentalists out there. There is a human bodily erosion when using any toilet paper product. Okay. Any toilet paper.

I know these are master musicians. Neil Young appreciates the value of dynamic range. It was featured heavily in his Pono music service. Nevertheless, sometimes the format itself is mostly irrelevant. OK, what is relevant is the particular mastering. So sometimes the CD will have the better mastering. Sometimes the vinyl will have the better mastering. I have so much to say on this.

I know these are master musicians. Neil Young appreciates the value of dynamic range. It was featured heavily in his Pono music service. Nevertheless, sometimes the format itself is mostly irrelevant. OK, what is relevant is the particular mastering. So sometimes the CD will have the better mastering. Sometimes the vinyl will have the better mastering. I have so much to say on this.

You're going to get erosion. You're wearing away pieces of your ass. What are you doing? Yes, you absolutely. If it's if that's where you're using it. What I'm saying, what I'm saying is.

You're going to get erosion. You're wearing away pieces of your ass. What are you doing? Yes, you absolutely. If it's if that's where you're using it. What I'm saying, what I'm saying is.

Where are you using it? I use toilet paper on many areas of my body. What are you talking about? My nose, my ears. I use it to wipe. You use Kleenex for your nose. No, I use toilet paper for my nose. Sure, in a situation where I'm sick and there's an excess of mucus, I'll invest in a box of Kleenex.

Where are you using it? I use toilet paper on many areas of my body. What are you talking about? My nose, my ears. I use it to wipe. You use Kleenex for your nose. No, I use toilet paper for my nose. Sure, in a situation where I'm sick and there's an excess of mucus, I'll invest in a box of Kleenex.

But why have a product that's good for one use when I can have a multi-use product like toilet paper? I use toilet paper for cleaning up the bathroom sink of the errant spills so as not to mineralize the countertop. I use it to clean up the toilet rim should there be any urine. I use it to... Urine? Did you say urine? I use it on different body parts. It's really a jack of all trades.

But why have a product that's good for one use when I can have a multi-use product like toilet paper? I use toilet paper for cleaning up the bathroom sink of the errant spills so as not to mineralize the countertop. I use it to clean up the toilet rim should there be any urine. I use it to... Urine? Did you say urine? I use it on different body parts. It's really a jack of all trades.

Do you lactate? What I'm saying is anytime there's a discharge, to me, toilet paper is going to be my first choice. Toilet paper is a big part of my life. See, some people take Q-tips for their ears, which, by the way, is unsafe. And now you have a second dedicated product that's only for your ears. What about toilet paper?

Do you lactate? What I'm saying is anytime there's a discharge, to me, toilet paper is going to be my first choice. Toilet paper is a big part of my life. See, some people take Q-tips for their ears, which, by the way, is unsafe. And now you have a second dedicated product that's only for your ears. What about toilet paper?

What's the problem with using toilet paper to clean out your ears and your nose? Anyway, listen, I don't mean to go on too much about the secondary uses. Nevertheless, don't give me that deep breath. I understand that you're in a rush, but I have a lot to say about toilet paper.

What's the problem with using toilet paper to clean out your ears and your nose? Anyway, listen, I don't mean to go on too much about the secondary uses. Nevertheless, don't give me that deep breath. I understand that you're in a rush, but I have a lot to say about toilet paper.

Because you're talking... Get to the point, which is... This is the point. This is the point. I decided on Charmin toilet paper. They had a few varieties at the time because they liked to overcomplicate their product line. I went with the version with lotion, which turned out to be mineral oil. Okay. It's had a number of different... Now, the Charmin people, the Procter & Gamble...

Because you're talking... Get to the point, which is... This is the point. This is the point. I decided on Charmin toilet paper. They had a few varieties at the time because they liked to overcomplicate their product line. I went with the version with lotion, which turned out to be mineral oil. Okay. It's had a number of different... Now, the Charmin people, the Procter & Gamble...

People, they're listening to this right now. And those 30-something marketing people are saying, is this true? Did it used to be called Aloe and E? Because they only know it as Charmin Ultra Gentle, the common name. And there's one guy that probably knows that it was.

People, they're listening to this right now. And those 30-something marketing people are saying, is this true? Did it used to be called Aloe and E? Because they only know it as Charmin Ultra Gentle, the common name. And there's one guy that probably knows that it was.

I buy my toilet paper in bulk because it never expires. I don't enjoy buying toilet paper. I don't want to buy toilet paper more often. I want to buy it less often.

I buy my toilet paper in bulk because it never expires. I don't enjoy buying toilet paper. I don't want to buy toilet paper more often. I want to buy it less often.

Do they think you have an issue? Yes. Yes, I do get unusual looks. I'm used to unusual looks for a variety of reasons that never that never deters me. So I buy mine by the case. So I've got some cases here. I've got a back stock that I bought over the past few years. OK, now this is.

Do they think you have an issue? Yes. Yes, I do get unusual looks. I'm used to unusual looks for a variety of reasons that never that never deters me. So I buy mine by the case. So I've got some cases here. I've got a back stock that I bought over the past few years. OK, now this is.

I pick the most damaged box because I like the boxes to look aesthetically beautiful. When I have an entire room full of toilet paper boxes, I like them to look beautiful. A lot of times you get shipping damage. Anyway, so the point is I buy them in these cases of 18 rolls. These are mega rolls.

I pick the most damaged box because I like the boxes to look aesthetically beautiful. When I have an entire room full of toilet paper boxes, I like them to look beautiful. A lot of times you get shipping damage. Anyway, so the point is I buy them in these cases of 18 rolls. These are mega rolls.

Now, again, in a ridiculous overcomplication, Procter & Gamble has decided to offer different sizes of their rolls. They have the regular roll. They have the giant roll. Then they have the mega roll. The mega is the biggest. I've done the research.

Now, again, in a ridiculous overcomplication, Procter & Gamble has decided to offer different sizes of their rolls. They have the regular roll. They have the giant roll. Then they have the mega roll. The mega is the biggest. I've done the research.

No, the mega roll. You would not a person of your course, visual perception would not even recognize the difference between a giant roll and a mega roll. But I do. OK, I look deep beneath the surface. Anyway, just listen to me, OK? This case, this case.

No, the mega roll. You would not a person of your course, visual perception would not even recognize the difference between a giant roll and a mega roll. But I do. OK, I look deep beneath the surface. Anyway, just listen to me, OK? This case, this case.

Yeah, this case of 18 Charmin Ultra Gentle mega rolls cost $19.99. I bought this for many years. OK, slight variations of the price up and down, but that's basically it. So recently I bought my Charmin order and I bought my 18 mega rolls for $19.99 and this came, okay? And I could already see the packaging is different and this is telling me, yeah.

Yeah, this case of 18 Charmin Ultra Gentle mega rolls cost $19.99. I bought this for many years. OK, slight variations of the price up and down, but that's basically it. So recently I bought my Charmin order and I bought my 18 mega rolls for $19.99 and this came, okay? And I could already see the packaging is different and this is telling me, yeah.

So this is telling me that something is off, okay? So something changed. Something changed. Instead of a case, now I have this package. And immediately I'm suspicious. And listen, I don't want to look for a new brand of toilet paper. I don't like change when it comes to my toilet paper. OK, a lot of things in life should change.

So this is telling me that something is off, okay? So something changed. Something changed. Instead of a case, now I have this package. And immediately I'm suspicious. And listen, I don't want to look for a new brand of toilet paper. I don't like change when it comes to my toilet paper. OK, a lot of things in life should change.

But like things like matches, toilet paper, they don't need to change. So. The old Charmin Ultra Gentle, while the sheet size is the same, had 286 two-ply sheets per roll. Okay. The new Charmin has 231 two-ply sheets per roll. Okay. So the overall square footage of an 18-pack used to be about 51 meters squared, which Whereas this is only about 41 meters squared, which is a 20% decrease.

But like things like matches, toilet paper, they don't need to change. So. The old Charmin Ultra Gentle, while the sheet size is the same, had 286 two-ply sheets per roll. Okay. The new Charmin has 231 two-ply sheets per roll. Okay. So the overall square footage of an 18-pack used to be about 51 meters squared, which Whereas this is only about 41 meters squared, which is a 20% decrease.

So I get it. Okay. Costs are rising in the toilet paper industry and they've got to recoup. Okay. Now I don't believe they're being greedy. I don't think they're trying to impress their shareholders. I understand that the toilet paper cost of improves. Now they could raise the price 20% and then you'd have $24 and I'd get my same product. And you know what? I'd happily pay that $24.

So I get it. Okay. Costs are rising in the toilet paper industry and they've got to recoup. Okay. Now I don't believe they're being greedy. I don't think they're trying to impress their shareholders. I understand that the toilet paper cost of improves. Now they could raise the price 20% and then you'd have $24 and I'd get my same product. And you know what? I'd happily pay that $24.

So say you. There are people. There's a community. I'm part of online forums. There's a community of people like me out there.

So say you. There are people. There's a community. I'm part of online forums. There's a community of people like me out there.

Because I understand inflation exists. But instead, they say, let's charge the same. Let's make the rolls 20% smaller. Now, you can compare the old roll and the new roll, and you'll see a drastic difference. You okay?

Because I understand inflation exists. But instead, they say, let's charge the same. Let's make the rolls 20% smaller. Now, you can compare the old roll and the new roll, and you'll see a drastic difference. You okay?

That's correct. You know, as I was listening to that song, something occurred to me.

That's correct. You know, as I was listening to that song, something occurred to me.

Why is your face? Listen to me.

Why is your face? Listen to me.

That's just my face. Now, listen to me. This clearly means I'm going- This is the new one, and this is the old one.

That's just my face. Now, listen to me. This clearly means I'm going- This is the new one, and this is the old one.

Okay, fine. That's, that's no bombshell. But the point is, why do I have to change my toilet paper roll 20% more often? Why I'm always going to need new toilet paper. Okay. It's not like I'm just going to buy one roll and be like, okay, that's it. I'm done when this rolls over. For the rest of my life, I'm going to be making sure that there is toilet paper on that toilet paper holder, okay?

Okay, fine. That's, that's no bombshell. But the point is, why do I have to change my toilet paper roll 20% more often? Why I'm always going to need new toilet paper. Okay. It's not like I'm just going to buy one roll and be like, okay, that's it. I'm done when this rolls over. For the rest of my life, I'm going to be making sure that there is toilet paper on that toilet paper holder, okay?

And why do I have to now... Because they have this marketing plan that are going to trick people into thinking that they're getting the same value. Now, I have to change my toilet paper roll more frequently. I have to buy more cases of toilet paper over the course of my lifetime. I have to maintain those cases and store those cases. Like, I just don't understand.

And why do I have to now... Because they have this marketing plan that are going to trick people into thinking that they're getting the same value. Now, I have to change my toilet paper roll more frequently. I have to buy more cases of toilet paper over the course of my lifetime. I have to maintain those cases and store those cases. Like, I just don't understand.

Just be upfront and be like, hey, we're charging $24. And by the way, the packaging has changed too. I used to... If I have guests... I like to put a six pack of Charmin unopened, sealed into that restroom.

Just be upfront and be like, hey, we're charging $24. And by the way, the packaging has changed too. I used to... If I have guests... I like to put a six pack of Charmin unopened, sealed into that restroom.

It's called the Jordan Schlansky Music Hour. I bring in my extensive collection of music. This is the Conan and Jordan show. Do you need content for this station? Because I have an idea. This is free content. I do an hour every week. And I play my favorite pressings of different songs. John Parr's St. Elmo's Fire. Do you know that the first note is upcut on most of the CD releases?

It's called the Jordan Schlansky Music Hour. I bring in my extensive collection of music. This is the Conan and Jordan show. Do you need content for this station? Because I have an idea. This is free content. I do an hour every week. And I play my favorite pressings of different songs. John Parr's St. Elmo's Fire. Do you know that the first note is upcut on most of the CD releases?

I'll tell you why. Okay, if you go into a guest room, you want to know you have enough toilet paper for your stay there. You don't want to worry that you're going to have to ask for more toilet paper.

I'll tell you why. Okay, if you go into a guest room, you want to know you have enough toilet paper for your stay there. You don't want to worry that you're going to have to ask for more toilet paper.

Because that's implying that you use above the average amount of toilet paper, okay? Yeah. Six rolls is enough to comfort people. It's not excessive. It's like, no matter what happens to me in this week, I'm going to have enough toilet paper. Six of these? Six of these?

Because that's implying that you use above the average amount of toilet paper, okay? Yeah. Six rolls is enough to comfort people. It's not excessive. It's like, no matter what happens to me in this week, I'm going to have enough toilet paper. Six of these? Six of these?

You don't have to use all six. You just know they're there. Okay? It's comforting.

You don't have to use all six. You just know they're there. Okay? It's comforting.

Abundance. I like to show them that there is an abundance of toilet paper. Whatever happens to you while you're here, you are covered. Anyway, just let me get this out.