Jessie Buttafuoco
Appearances
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
My parents, Joey and Mary Jo, and the name alone is adorable, right? And then there was so much love there. They were high school sweethearts. I mean, Joey and Mary Jo were like it. They were popular in the neighborhood. You know, it was very much them. The family lived in a safe, close-knit neighborhood on Long Island, New York.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
And it wasn't until my mom woke up, by the grace of God, woke up, her odds of waking up was like zero, zero to none. Like, I remember, I think they told my grandmother, if she survives, she's going to be deaf, blind, brain dead, paralyzed. Like, this woman will be a vegetable if and when she wakes up. So by the grace of God, my mom woke up.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
And when she woke up, she had a trach tube in her throat and she made like a signal to write because she couldn't speak. And so they're like, Mary Jo, you're in the hospital. Do you know who did this to you? All this stuff. And she wound up writing the name down.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
Amy Fisher, who turned out to be the perpetrator, went to my mom saying, your husband's cheating.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
Eventually, the police recruited my father to get a hold of Amy Fisher, have them meet up, and then they arrested her and took her to jail.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
You knew everybody, and you could ride your bike up and down the street and go skateboard with those kids and go ding-dong ditch over there.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
So eventually I'm allowed to go see her and I'm given like a pep talk of like, she looks a lot different. She's got a lot of bandages on her face. You have to be gentle. You can't go in there and dance for her. You can't go in there and do a standup routine. Like, you know, I was ready to entertain and make her feel better and laugh and sing.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
And they were like, girl, this is not the time for that Jessie to come out. You gotta be gentle and you gotta be quiet. They finally told me the secret. I need to be able to handle this, you know, and that kind of thing. And so even if I was scared or something like that, I really tried my best not to let anybody know. But I do remember walking in and seeing this alien in a hospital bed.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
I don't know who that lady is, but that's not my mom. And I just see this frail little lady with bandages around her head, literally looking like an alien from outer space. And I just walk over to her, and I'm just really scared about, am I going to hurt her? Can I hug her? Can I talk to her? What's happening? I really kept a strong face, and I was strong for my mom when I went in the room.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
But as soon as I left... It all came out and my grandmother and my aunt tell me that I started almost convulsing and super shaking and really, really crying. Eventually when she came home, I saw the bullet in her head. I saw the hole in her head. I saw the wounds. I saw the physical side of things. She's paralyzed on half her face now. She can't hear out of her right ear.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
Every time I talk to her, I have to be on her left side. And I just remember having to really try to just be on my best behavior around the house. I don't want to be too loud. I really don't want to, you know, make my mom's life any worse. And I think at that point is when I started to really minimize myself.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
Like if I fell and hurt myself, I didn't tell anybody because it's not a bullet to the head, right?
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
Good question. For most of my life, I did not think he had anything to do with it. I thought this girl just became obsessed with him because he was nice and charismatic and a great dad, and she didn't have one of her own and just wanted that for herself.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
But it wasn't until I had a mental breakdown and got into recovery and had to build myself back up, and then I was able to see him differently and understand that he did have something to do with this. See, for most of my life, I have had conversations with that man. Did you have anything to do with this? Did you know her? Did you plan this? Did you, I mean, anything?
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
And he would look me right in the eye and say, no, of course not. I would never do that. I love your mother too much. I love you too much. I swear on my mother's grave, I would never do anything. I don't even know her. She was just a customer in a shop. She denied the affair. Denied everything from the get, from the jump. And now, see, I didn't understand that as a kid.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
They weren't telling me that part. All I knew is that all of a sudden everyone is hating my father and calling him this scoundrel and a pimp and a liar and all this stuff. And I'm not really getting it because he's gaslighting everybody saying I had nothing to do with her.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
And when you're the child of that person or the wife of that person or the brother or the sister of that person, you can't imagine that person could do that stuff. So you believe them, especially when they're telling you to your face. I had nothing to do with it. I chose to believe that.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
But I think from the outside world, you know, the audience watching, they could see right through my dad's bullshit. It's just hard to see it when you're in it. And a lot of people that have domestic abuse, you know, that was emotional abuse for me. I wasn't getting physically hit, but, you know, my relationship with him was very emotionally abusive, which I think for me made it worse for me.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
Because here I see this just random girl becoming obsessed with my mom for no reason and trying to kill her. And, like, that terrified me. My dad was denying everything and completely gaslighting everybody, including me, my mom, his brothers and sisters, and our community at large. And everybody knew my dad to be this friendly, loving guy who loved his wife and his children.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. And because she didn't know any different. Like she didn't see him cheating. She really didn't. She thought their marriage was as strong as it ever was. Like they had their problems, but like not, she didn't see any of this coming at all. And so the dynamic at home, it was weird. Not only is my mom physically injured, all of a sudden they're famous now.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
I learned very early that my family doesn't need any more problems. So I'm just gonna be as perfect as I can, and I'm gonna succeed, and I'm gonna laugh, and I'm gonna make you think I'm fine. And I just, I acted my way through my life. I was dying inside. I was terrified of being kidnapped, terrified of being murdered myself, terrified of taking the trash out or walking the dog, okay?
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
So I just learned how to do everything scared. And I was just constantly biting my nails, anxious and nervous.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
I came out of the womb just singing and dancing and wanting to entertain and make people laugh. I would play Whitney Houston on repeat, Mariah Carey on repeat, and just dance in my room with a hairbrush and just really like got into that kind of fantasy life. And then at nine years old, my mother was shot in the face by my dad's underage mistress.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
We were directly before O.J. When O.J. came, it took the attention off us and actually gave us breathing room a little bit.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
Well, 90s tabloid culture was very exploitative. So this was when the media controlled what people saw, too. There was no streaming. There was no Hulu, Netflix, Apple, Spotify, like everything. It was, you know, less than 100 channels on TV, a few radio stations, and that's about it. And at this time, this was right at the cusp of reality TV starting, too. So that wasn't even a thing yet.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
Like, we were like the experiment to that, basically. And so... Not long after the shooting, it became a news story. And obviously I read it. And then it became like national news. And then all of a sudden it's being talked about on daytime TV, late night TV, news specials, Larry King everywhere, Saturday Night Live, David Letterman, Jay Leno. Like it's become this now joke also.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
My last name is now becoming the butt of every joke. there was paparazzi everywhere. All of a sudden, there are just a sea of cameras and news reporters and people that were just trying to get a glimpse of anything they could. I remember looking out my window at the crowd and giving the middle finger and being like, use that on the news and that kind of stuff.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
I also remember wanting to be Annie on Broadway. So when they came, I was like, This is it. This is my shot. This is how we're getting discovered. This is my shot. And so I would like put on my leotard and I would bring out my boombox to the front and I would like wait for five o'clock because I was like, all right, the news is starting. Let's go. And I'd like, showtime.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
And I roll out there and I'd like, I'm every woman on the boombox. Don't get it twisted. And I was doing, girl, everything. I was like cartwheels, flip flops, back flips, pirouettes, bleeps. I'm obsessed with you. And I would like, at the end and like, No one's clapping for me. No one's impressed. Like, where's my contract? Literally. I'm like, what do you guys mean you're not here for me?
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
Like, I couldn't understand that. And, like, the news reporters would hate it. And they'd be like, girl, can you... We're trying to do a live segment here. Can you move and go play somewhere else? And then I'd be pissed. I was like, this is my house. Do your job somewhere else. What do you mean? You know, and I'd just get defeated and pack up my little bag and go inside. But, like...
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
The amount of press was insane. The amount of coverage was insane. It was 24-7. It was inescapable. And it was just overwhelming, to be honest. But I still had to go to dance. And I still had to go to school. And when your house becomes a tourist attraction, it's a really weird and invasive thing. Because not only was the news people there and press just knocking on our door every...
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
five minutes and I'm trying to just, you know, do my homework and like stuff like that. It became a tourist attraction. So people would drive by and like honk on the horn or throw eggs. I remember being in the den and someone threw a carton of eggs. I thought it was a machine gun. I was terrified if I was going to die, like thought someone was coming to shoot again, you know.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
And so it was a really traumatic experience. It was also very invasive that any action I did could potentially be a headline. And so from that moment on, everything I ever did was, is this going to be a headline? And if it is, I'm either not going to do it or I'm going to find my way to cheat or lie away my way around that because all eyes were on us.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
If we go out to dinner with my family, someone's barking at the other table. Or I'm driving in a convertible with my dad and someone's like, oh, wow, Joey, you really do like them young. And he's just like taking me to dance class. And so like I wasn't necessarily experiencing anonymous, you know, hate comments on a social media page, but I was getting them in real time.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
I can't tell you how many parties I've been to when someone tells a Buttafuoco joke not knowing I'm the daughter. And then the whole room goes silent and then it's awkward and then it's weird. Or how many times my name comes up on a roster somewhere or in a public setting and say, oh, But if you go, you relate to Joey? And like,
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
It's such a weird, that's such a weird part because I, at that time too, especially if I said no, right? No, I don't know him. People would tell me, what a fucking asshole. Can you believe that fucking? And then just hate on him. And now I'm listening to these people trash my dad, but I told them no. So I'm just going to sit here and take it.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
And then I was like, well, saying no doesn't stop people from talking shit. So I say, yeah, he's my dad. And then people don't know what to say because they were about to talk shit. And so now they have nothing nice to say. So they're like, oh. So then I had to learn quickly how to tell a joke or, you know, break the ice or like make them feel better.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
But any relation is like a point of contention for me and has been my whole life.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
It turns out my father was having this affair with her and she became obsessed with my dad and wanted to take my mom's place. So she quickly started stalking my mother over the course of like six to eight months and so would hire people to find out her routine, me and my brother's routine, things like that. She was a known sex worker at the time and she hired people through money and sex.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
And she hired dudes to sit in the bushes at my house with a gun. At one point, the day after Halloween, she came to our house and lured my mother out of the house as if she was selling candy for a school fundraiser and had someone waiting in the bushes who got cold feet and didn't shoot my mom then. So this was like, there was premeditated stalking and moments to take her life.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
Eventually, no one was doing it, so she did it herself. And that's when she drove to my house at like 10.30, 11 in the morning on a Tuesday and lured my mom out of the house and then shot her in the head, left her for dead, tried to do it again, the gun jammed, so that's a miracle because there was extra casings found on the floor over her body. And then hopped in the getaway car and...
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
and went on with her day. But honestly, other than that, I really didn't know much about her. I just knew that she's my public enemy number one. She's my Disney villain. I've still never met her. Her image is burned into my head, you know. But at that time, I really didn't know anything other than this girl came into my life and ruined it.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
Eventually, when I'm 35 years old, I have a mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual breakdown. Most of my life from that incident on was filled with anxiety, PTSD, hypervigilance, addiction, substances, alcohol, all that kind of stuff. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
Thank you. Thank you.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
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Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
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Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
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Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
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Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
That's the part where I'm trying to make some differences here. I can't tell you. I've been in rooms before where I've told my story and they're like, can you do that again but cry this time? Or things like that. And it's just like, those are violations of ethics. These are human rights. These people have already been victimized, especially in the true crime genre.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
We don't need to continue to traumatize them. They have a great story where we want to tell it. You don't need to make it...
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
Better or worse by using these techniques and i'm doing a lot of research on ethics in true crime in reality tv That's what i'm focusing on on my phd and it turns out ethical guidelines exist People just don't abide by them And that's where I feel we need to start making some changes and I don't know if that's through legislation I have a dream one day of creating the protection of crime victims in the media act and
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
That's why I'm in this PhD program now is because I am providing the research and the science and the data that these exploitative practices in reality TV and true crime are causing psychological damage to the people at the center of the story. And that's not okay. And so if we prove that by science, then maybe somebody will do something about it.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
And then maybe I'll be on Capitol Hill with that too. And now that I'm out of the gutter and on my way, I'm not letting anyone else go through what I went through.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
And I couldn't do that without gratitude. For most of my life, I have just been dealing with whatever cards have been dealt, right? And I used to do gratitude in a way of, well, at least I don't have whatever. I would compare myself to people less than me, right? But that was the only form of gratitude that I would ever kind of do.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
And it wasn't until I had my breakdown and I got into recovery and I had to learn how to be grateful for breathing, right? I had to learn how to be grateful for the warm blanket in my bed and that I wasn't on the street. And I had to be grateful for this shooting and my life and whatever. I had to find gratitude. I had so much anger at the time, too.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
I remember having to get two different journals. I had to get my fuck you journal and my gratitude journal because I felt bad putting all the negative stuff with the good stuff. But like that gratitude journal is what saved my life. That gratitude journal is what got me humble. is what really had me connect with who I am on this planet. What is my purpose?
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
Going from being suicidal and purposeless, finding my purpose was huge for me. And I think gratitude got me there. Spirituality got me there. Growing my faith bone got me there. But I couldn't have gotten there if I didn't start at the very bottom. And, you know, people say, how do you know you're at your bottom? It's when you stop digging. And so I finally stopped digging.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
And then I started just building steps out of that shit. And now I'm like up here and we're thriving. And like, I don't even know what the hell is going to happen in the future. But I know it's something because I'm living in my purpose. I'm feeling very called to do this. You know, so like, let's go. And if you need a five, six, seven, eight, I can do that too.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
Well, I'm glad you're also elevating my voice. I can't tell you how many people have disregarded my voice. I have been told by someone at CAA, which is one of the biggest talent agencies, that we're not interested in the child's perspective of this crime. So I have been denied a voice for a very long time. And once I stopped forcing it on people is when people started to want to listen.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
And I will tell you this. I never told my story for the longest time, especially not on a public platform like this, because I hated it. It was a shit story. My parents are known for a sex scandal. There's gun violence involved and it's embarrassing and it's people making jokes. And it was just so horrible and shameful my entire life. And it wasn't until I met my best friend right here.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
who didn't know who I was at all. She just moved in my apartment complex and we became friendly. And then eventually she found out who I was. And it was just like, wait, what? And then she would naturally have some questions, but being a reality show producer as well, and she's a story supervisor, she taught me the value of my story.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
She taught me that it wasn't just this shit shameful story, that it was actually inspirational. And like my story, right? Not my parents' story. What happened to me? What happened to my mental and emotional health? All of my trials and tribulations, all of my resiliency that I've had to show throughout my life.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
And then she really empowered me to start doing that on a public level, whether that was, you know, pitching a documentary or going on podcasts or speaking up in AA and just telling my story and embracing it for the shit that it was because it almost took me out. Like when I tell you I was ready to kill myself, I was ready to fucking kill myself.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
And I just can't tell you how grateful I am now to be alive. and to be able to share this story so vulnerably and powerfully, and knowing that this is not the thing that defines me, but it's the thing that will catapult me to making significant change in this world, I really do believe that. There's a belief that we choose our life path before we get down here.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
And I don't know what the hell my soul was thinking, but I'm starting to think that I'm starting to see the goodness of it. My entire life was chaos, and I'm now just starting to live in peace.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
I mean, my parents, first of all, I placed them on this pedestal, right? It's Joey and Mary Jo, and the name alone is adorable, right? And then there was so much love there. I saw my dad adore my mother, shower her with gifts, love bomb. My mom equally loved my dad just as much. I saw them as the most supportive people.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
beautiful unit that would protect me and look out for me and never lie to me and do everything for me. They were high school sweethearts, you know? And so whenever they fought, if they fought, I didn't see it. My mom was very adamant about doing that behind closed doors. She was very good at making me think that everything was perfect.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
From my perspective, at 9, even 10, 11, 12, like, my parents were just this united front. And then when this all happened and the world kind of was like staring at my family unit, we all kind of went like this and put up our defenses. Because all of a sudden the outside world is like infiltrating my life and questioning my parents' relationship.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
Which was weird for me because I'm like, you don't know them. They're perfect. What do you mean? They're great. They're lovely. Everybody loves them. Everyone in the community. I mean, Joey and Mary Jo were like it. They were popular in the neighborhood. You know, it was very much it was them. And no one could believe that my father was either cheating or stepping out.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
You just didn't see that at all.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
So that day, May 19th, 1992, was the first day I was riding my bicycle to school. In the morning, my mom was hounding me about my bike lock combination and how to use it and was like really instilling the sense of responsibility in me of like, you have to lock up your bike, you have to be safe. Like I just remember that as being the last thing we were talking about as I was leaving.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
Now riding your bike to school was like a rite of passage and this was my first time doing it with my big brother. It was a random Tuesday. And so as we were heading off, I'm ready to go, my brother's like, I don't know, I got to go back in. He went back in and just had a weird feeling. My mom was like, whatever, come on, go, go, go, shoved him out the door.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
So around noon, I mean, it was before lunch, I get a phone call in the classroom and I was told to pack my lunch and meet my aunt at the front of the school. And I was like, What? Like, what? Why? I'm leaving. Why am I leaving? I have auditions for the school play after this was going to be my musical debut. I was going to get discovered and become Annie on Broadway.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
What do you mean I have to leave? And so I get my little Minnie Mouse lunchbox and my little thermos. And then I head out the door and then I see my brother coming down the hall as well. And now we're walking. And now I see my aunt who's six foot in the distance. I was like, why? Why is she here? She's never picked me up from school. What's going on? It was weird.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
And she's like, all right, we got to go. And I remember freaking out of like, but my bike, my bike's here. We can't leave my bike here. Mom's going to kill me if I leave my bike here. No, you don't understand. Mom is like, this is my first thing of like responsibility that my mom is putting on my plate. And if she finds that I leave this school without my bike, she's going to kill me.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
Not realizing she's fighting for her life, you know, in a hospital bed. So eventually, I don't know what's going on. We leave. I make my aunt get my bike. We throw it in her trunk and we head to my dad's work. And we meet up at my dad's shop. And when I get there, every one of my family members is there. My dad is one of five. My mom is one of five. Both their parents were alive.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
So everyone is at my dad's work at this point. And like the only time that really happens is like holidays, right? Christmas, Thanksgiving, things like that. This was May. Like, what are we doing? And I just remember everyone looking like they saw a ghost or just like their world has been rocked. And at the time, you know, I was very intuitive. I could pick up on stuff.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
And so I'm sitting on my aunt's lap and I'm just looking at everybody like as if they're in this state of shock because they were. And I cracked a joke and said, what's the matter with everybody? It looks like somebody got shot in the head or something. And then my aunt was like, who told you that? What's going on? Like as if I said something wrong and I felt very much in trouble.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
And so I was like, oh, nothing. I just made a joke. You guys look like you're really serious right now. I still was asking for my mom and not getting an answer of where she was. My dad also was not around. I think he was in the hospital or helping catch the perpetrator or something like that.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
No. I think my brother was told because he was older. He was 12. I was 9. I'm in third grade. No one is telling me anything. Just tell me. I can handle it. I promise. I won't freak out. And then eventually, the story was my mom was painting in the backyard. She fell off a bench, and she landed on a nail that was sticking up on the floor. So like a tetanus moment. And I was like, ow.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
Y'all are freaking out for a nail? Like, I was like, what? Come on, get out of here. All right, let me go see her. And they wouldn't let me go see her. I wasn't allowed to see her at all. And I was pissed about that because everyone else in my family could see her. My brother could see her. All my aunts and uncles could go in and visit her, but I was not allowed.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
And I very much at that point felt very excluded, annoyed, angry. I can handle it. Like, whatever it is, let me see my mom. Come on. We'll figure it out. It's a nail in the head, right? I wasn't allowed to go home. My house was a crime scene at that point. I still don't know what's going on. I'm not allowed to watch TV. I can only hang out at my aunt's house while my other cousins go to school.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
I'm bored. And I'm like, where's mom? Where's dad? I don't even remember my dad coming. At one point, I got a bag dropped off of like pajamas and overnight clothes. And I remember looking through the bag, missing my mom and looking through the bag and pulling out this pair of pajamas that I absolutely hated. Like they were the worst. They were too small.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
And I remember crying and being like, my mom would have known what pajamas to pack. You know, my dad packed that bag. And so I didn't see him, dropped the bag off. So I'm not even seeing my parents. I'm nine. Where are my parents? What the hell's going on? Like I have a close family relationship, but still where's my mom and dad? I'm relentless.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
I'm at my aunt's house and she sits me down and she hands me a newspaper and she goes, so what we told you about mom was not true. and she hands me a newspaper. And then first of all, I have a reading comprehension problem and ADHD. So I'm looking at this newspaper and I see my mom's picture, her looking normal. And I see a picture of my house with like police tape and cars in front of it.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
And I try to read this headline in this article of like local woman shot in the head or something like that. But it just really, it wasn't making sense to me. So I look up at my aunt and she goes, do you understand honey? And I'm just like, no. And then she was like, well, and then told me what happened that my mother was shot.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
At least now I know why everyone's freaking out so bad because she got shot in the face, not a nail. And I remember being so angry of like, you guys lied to me, like to my face, like you're my family. What, what? And I've had a point of contention with everyone in my life that lies to me from here on out because of that moment.
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
I just remember having so many early feelings of like not being able to trust people anymore, not being able to take their word for face value and like stuff like that. So it was really rough. And so, you know, come to find out while that's all happening to me, my mom's in a hospital bed fighting for her life because my father's underage mistress went to my childhood home
Infamous
What If Joey Buttafuoco Was Your Dad? Listen to Gratitudeology with Jamie Hess
lured my mother out of the house, had a quick conversation with her, and then shot her point blank in the range, right in the face, on the right side of her head, and left her there to die. And eventually, they thought it was just like some dude. They didn't even know who it was. Police didn't know. They were looking for some random guy.